Chapter 9
Story Time with Daddy Dante

(Third Person POV)

Dante followed Twilight and Spike throughout the town towards sugarcube corner, while doing his casual walk. He imitated a pimp’s walk he saw on a music video years ago, adding his own spin to it. He noticed a pair of mares staring at him, giving him the bedroom eyes. He gestured his head at the mares, winking at them. They giggled and walked away, looking at him until their vision of him was cut off. Spike took notice to it and tugged at his jacket.

“Hey Dante,” Spike asked the suave hybrid.

“What is it, little man?”

“How can you instantly attract mares, like that?” he asked, snapping his fingers.

“Well, it’s a little male secret that I will share with you when you’re older.”

“Oh, you tease!” he furrowed his brow at the chuckling half-demon, “I’m just asking; how are you so popular with mares?”

“I don’t really know how I do it, to be honest,” he confessed, his tone growing serious, “It may have something to do with my profession or it may be the demon blood; I don’t have a clue. But I will tell you this, before my powers awakened, I had such rotten luck with women. Hell; one shot me between the eyes, TWICE!”

“What’s the secret to get a mare to love you?”

“Is this something have to do with a certain purple-haired vixen?” He asked, leaning in close to the young dragon. He blushed as he knew who he was thinking about.

“Y-yeah; Rarity.”

“She is pretty hot,” he truthfully stated, “I’m not surprised you’re chasing after a babe like her.”

“You’re not planning to go out on a date with her, are you?” Spike asked, inching away from Dante, giving him the evil eye.

“She’s all yours, my little drake; those mares are just not my type.”

“Thanks, Dante.”

After a few more minutes of walking, they finally made it to Sugarcube Corner.

“And we’re here!” Twilight announced, showing the flabbergasted demon hunter the candy-coated building to which he burst into laughter.

“What’s so funny?” she bluntly asked, slightly offended by his possible disrespectful behaviour.

“I should’ve known that was the bakery! It’s a gingerbread house for Luna’s sake!”

“Dante! You’re acting like a dick; stop it!”

“I’m not being a dick, I’m an idiot for not seeing this sooner; I’ve found Nirvana!”

“Oh,” Twilight sighed, feeling like a jerk for overreacting to Dante’s sporadic action.

“What are we waiting for!?” Dante eagerly asked, “I’ve got a bag full of bits to spend on sundaes and other sweets!”

Dante then ran ahead of the group, laughing happily along the way to the door. As they opened the door, he noticed something off right away that killed his mood.

“Twilight? I think they’re closed,” he deadpanned, looking into the dark empty room. As soon as he turned back to leave the shop-

“SURPRISE!” Ponies shouted at Dante, jumping out from every nook and cranny.

“NYAH! OH GOD!” Dante jumped, falling out of the front door onto his back on the outside. Twilight giggled gingerly, holding out her hand to him.

“You’re really jumpy for some reason,” she smirked. He grabbed onto her hand and pulled himself to his feet.

“I’ll give the pony credit who thought this through,” he complimented, “They really caught me off-guard.”

They went back into the now crowded bakery where a certain pink pony was bouncing up and down with joy behind the counter.

Pinkie Pie (Andrea Libman)

“HI DANTE!” Pinkie called out from the crowd, “Were you surprised? Huh!? Huh!? HUH!?”

“Nearly gave me a coronary,” he complained, clenching his chest, “Definitely woke me up, though.”

It took him a few seconds until he realized what the event really is. His smile slowly grew to the point it could crack a mountain.

“Dante, you know what this is?”

“Fuck...yes. Thank you very much.”

“We thought we could throw a ‘Welcome back to Equestria/Thanks for reawakening the Elements of Harmony party.”

“Pinkie,” he began, throwing an arm around her shoulder, “I think this would be the start of a beautiful friendship.”

To that compliment, she lit up with much happiness to the point she could rocket to the moon.

“Well, then? What are we waiting for?” He asked the blissful party pony, “Let’s get this party started!”

“Vinyl Scratch, HIT IT!”

“HOLD IT!” he yelled, holding up a vinyl record, “Play this.”

He flicked it across the room, perfectly landing onto the turntable and knocking both the microphone into the air and setting the needle onto the section that held his favorite song. Before he caught the microphone, he threw off his jacket to the side and held his right hand up, having the mike land perfectly in his grip.

“Now,” he began with his mouth the the mike, “Who wants to hear a jam performed by me?”

The whole crowd in the room cheered on, causing the demon hunter to smile.

“Well, then…REGULATORS...!”

The song started up in it’s starting beat, leaving the crowd stunned.

…MOUNT UP!”

He back flipped into the air, perfectly landing onto the stage. He took a deep breath, pulling out a flute from his back pocket, preparing to “Perform.”

He started to play his flute to the tune of the song to replicate the lyrics. As he went on, the whole crowd fell more and more silent and drawn to his out of nowhere talent (or just able to play one song and knowing jack shit on how to actually play the flute on command). Pinkie Pie rushed to the light switch and shut the lights off with a spotlight on the demon hunter.

A couple mares took out lighters and waved it back and forth to the beat of the song halfway through. Dante started doing a sexy dance along the beat of the song, gaining many stares toward his abs and ass.

When the song was over, he opened his eyes along with the lights coming back on to see a bunch of happy faces. They erupted in applause, leaving the happy hybrid nothing less than pure bliss.

He hopped off the stage, setting his flute on a random table and made his way to the punch bowl. He was surprised when he tasted the alcohol in it.

“Hey Pinkie?”

“Yes, Dante?” she responded, popping out of nowhere.

“What kind of alcohol is mixed with the punch?”

“Oh, that’s Berry Punch’s homemade brew, but I call it ‘Party Juice.’”

He took another swig of the drink, now tasting the full pleasant fruity flavor. He sat down on a chair in the distant part of the room, quietly watching the other mares dace their flanks off when the next song came up.

“So, Dante?” Twilight asked, sitting down on a chair next to him, “How are you liking the party?”

“This should’ve been the first place I went to after getting unpetified; this town kicks ass!”

“It’s usually boring around here, but as you and Celestia saw the parasprites earlier today well, Ponyville has its moments.”

“As do I, but that just means I fit in here just fine.”

“By the way, what was that song you played on your flute? It had a catchy beat to it.”

“Oh that? It was just a version of a song with the lyrics cut out. I played my flute in the same way you would normally sing it. That is called an Instrumental Version.”

“I see…”

“SO DANTE!” Pinkie yelled, popping out of nowhere in her own chair, “I read all about your adventures in the comic books. Can you tell us a cool story from before you came to Equestria?”

He smiled, “Sure, I got one for ya. It kicked off my very first adventure and when I first experienced my demonic powers. Let’s see...it all started like this…”

As he told his story, he didn’t realize the sizable crowd he drew in the more he went on.

“...and then after I left my office, I saw more of them! I sneezed and the whole building came down. I did the same shtick of what you heard me do back in my office, then one of these giant wraith motherfuckers comes out of nowhere with a huge ass scythe and tries to wreck my shit up. I wanted to make him eat his own scythe, but he ran away at the last minute.”

“Wow! I didn’t know you were THAT cool, Dante!” Spike praised him.

“He sounds so badass.”

“Just like in the comics!”

“Can I have your babies?”

“Guys! Calm down!” Rainbow appeared, pushing the other mares off him. She sat down cross-legged in front of the crowd with her hands on her chin, “So, are you going to tell us another story?”

“Sure, this is one from one of my later adventures before I came here to this realm. It started in this one Opera House…”

Dante got lost in telling his story, to the point where he acted out his point of view to the laughter and snickers from the ponies. Spike was laughing so hard he fell out of his chair. When he was done with the story, Yamato materialized in his hand.

“That is how I got my brother’s sword back.”

Pinkie was chuckling throughout the whole story while Rainbow looked at him in the most confused face imaginable.

“You won by out-hamming that guy!?”

“Yep, a feat that could be accomplished by either me or Pinkie, but I think she could beat that guy in one line.”

Pinkie gasped in the crowd.

“It’s true! I could best that guy by looking him in the eye and tell him that he should have TWO bangs instead of one!”

Everypony stopped and slowly looked at her with a “WTF” look. They looked back at the demon hunter, expecting another story.

“So, Dante?” Rainbow broke the silence, “Are you going to tell us another one of your misadventures?”

“How about we get back to the dance floor? We got about 5 hours left until midnight; LET’S GET JIGGY WITH IT!”

Five hours have passed and most of the partygoers have left. Despite the low number of ponies at the party, it was still going on strong. Twilight was surprisingly sober and her friends...trashed. She rushed around the bakery, looking for Dante. She then found him in a corner with his arm around a mop handle. His face was bright red and he was swerving back and forth. She couldn’t help but laugh uncontrollably at him so drunk, he thinks he’s flirting with a mare.

“Ohhh, cheh’mon baybe,*hic*I didshent schow you mah deemon-*hic*half.”

“Dante?”

“Oh, haaaay! *burp*Lets meh intradouche ya to mah frehnd-”

“A mop.”

“Wha!?*burp*Why would ya schay schumsching like schat?”

“C’mon, Dante,” Twilight said, slinging his arm over her shoulder, “Let’s take you back to my house.”

“Heh*hic*I knew ya hadsh the hotsh for meh*burp*.”

“Yeah, yeah; let’s find Spike and your coat and we’ll be on our way. SPIKE!”

“Yes, Twi?” he asked, zipping to their position.

“Can you get Dante’s flute and jacket and meet us in the library? He’s a bit inebriated at the moment.”

“Okay, I’ll meet up with you two later.”

After a half hour of falling, stumbling and dragging later, they finally made it back to the library where Dante fell down in the doorway and passes out. She frustratingly sighed and pushed on her back, rapidly cracking it.

“Ah, buck it.”

Her horn glowed and carried him to the couch where he was set down, fast asleep.

BANG

Twilight spun around to see an embarrassed Spike and one of Dante’s guns on the floor with smoke pouring from one of the barrels. Dante shot up from the sound with his eyes still closed.

“I told you...that’s MY cat!” he slurry shouted before laying back down.

“Sorry! I was playing with the gun!”

“Well, put it back before he shoves one of his boots up your ass when he wakes up.”

He recoiled back from the sudden profanity the unicorn used. She quickly covered her mouth after realization of her blunder.

“Sorry, Spike,” she gingerly said, “I guess he’s rubbing off on me.”

“Y’know, Dante’s got the right idea; let’s call it a night and hit the hay.”

“Okay; you go to bed awhile; I’ll be up shortly.”

She watched as the little drake climbed the stairs and into the bedroom out of eyesight before turning to the devil hunter.

“Are you really the same guy that took down an entire army and defeated Nightmare Moon twice? I envy you, though; you are very skilled in your line of work, you accomplished so much under your belt and yet...you can still keep a happy-go-lucky attitude without collapsing under the stress. How do you do it? Still, I’m happy you came into our lives when you did; I wonder if you would be living here? Time will tell. Goodnight, Dante.”

“Omelets...hookers...Ryan Reynolds!?” he snorted in his sleep. She quietly snickered and went up to her bed, content with all that had happened.

“It has seemed that we have lost track of the Son of Sparda,” the gray flame grimly spoke.

“How the hell did he do that!?” a green flame growled.

“Either way, we will need an undercover mare for the job. You.”

“Moi!?” the blue flame asked in shock.

“Travel from town to town with your little smoke and mirrors show, look for him and lure him into his death.”

“How is she going to accomplish that, boss man?” a brighter gray flame asked in a condescending tone.

“The Everfree is home to some dangerous lifeforms, some that are potentially stronger than the Son of Sparda, himself.”

“Is it going to work this time?” the green flame cautiously asked, “Or is it going to backfire the latter two attempts?”

“I am sure this plan will work. Even if we fail again, we are then much closer to finding his weakness and closer to a much more potent plan. Until then, return to your duties. Especially you, insolent Medusa lookalike.”

“Yes, master,” the flames said in unison before dying out.

“I’m starting to wonder if they are even reliable at all.”

Author's Note

Sorry this took an eternity; I started working on a fan game and I worked extra hard to earn my driver's license, so I'm happy about that.

I'm going to take a break on the game and try to focus more on the story. (Luna knows how many times I lied about that...)

Here's the latest romp so far. As always, tell me what you think in the comments below and have a nice day (Depending on where you live in the world).

If you spot the reference, you are awesome.