Devils Never Cry

Chapter 7
A Press Conference and a Hangover

(Third Person POV)

A loud knock on the door didn’t move the devil hunter, only made him talk in his sleep (something about Anchovies on pizza). The group of the high ranking Royal Marines along with Luna and Celestia entered the room to wake Dante.

He was facedown on the side of his bed, an empty bottle of whiskey was seen in his hand hanging from the bed. Windwalker silenced the others and slowly walked over to the sleeping devil hunter. He noticed a small waste bin next to the bed and picked it up. He then took the bottle and threw it in the waste bin, the sudden loud noise startled him awake.

Dante frantically moved his head everywhere pointing Ivory in opposite directions. He noticed the group and held his head in pain.

“I’m surprised you didn’t die from drinking a full bottle like that,” Windwalker complimented.

“What happened after I went to bed?”

“We informed the princesses of what happened; they haven’t heard your side of the story yet.”

“I’ll tell them when there isn’t a feeling of a heavy metal drum solo pounding in my head.”

“The press conference is in a couple of hours.”

“A COUPLE HOURS!?” he yelled before slumping over and clutching his head in pain.

“Dante, you know how I feel about when you drink before bed,” Celestia scolded him.

“I know, I know. Did anypony die in this little attack?”

“The death total is 68. About a dozen civilians, 20 guards and 25 castle staff. All of them were partially eaten.”

“Did you count my little guest last night Lieutenant?”

“No I didn’t. So that makes it 69.”

“The only 69 I don’t like,” he muttered to himself.

“Here, take this glass of special juice Luna made for you,” Celestia said, handing him a glass of thick, clear liquid.

“What is it?”

“It’s a special elixir I made,” Luna explained, “It can take away that hangover and calm any mental distress. It only works on the elixir maker’s lover.”

“Okay,” he said before taking a swig, “It has a very sweet taste to it, almost like honey. I wonder how it’s made, though.” He finished the glass before Celestia walks over to him and leans close to him.

“She was thinking of you when she made it,” she whispered into his ear, making his face light up red and a couple drops of blood trickle from his nose.

“That’s pretty hot,” he whispered back.

“Use some mouthwash and shave that fuzz, you look alright clothes-wise and get ready; like Lieutenant Windwalker said: you got a couple hours.”

“Alright, see you all, then.”

As they left, Dante went straight into his bathroom to prepare for the press conference. His eyes were bloodshot and his breath made him recoil his head backwards, cringing at his lack of hygiene. He quickly gargled with Coltgate mouthwash and lit his face on fire with Agni to save time shaving. He looked into the mirror to try to boost his confidence.

“Just do it,” he said, pointing to himself in the mirror and repeating the process.

When he was done (or got bored of repetition,) he waltzed out of the bathroom, whistling, only to stop when he saw his wrecked bedroom in plain daylight with a slight breeze coming from the broken window.

“Guess I went a little too overboard,” he said to himself, “Ah, fuck it; Tia can fix that, easy.”

He painfully walked over to the dining hall and sat down in the same seat he was in last night. When one of the castle staff walked by him, he tapped her shoulder to get her attention.

“Hey, can you get me a small cup, a couple uncracked eggs, salt, pepper, hot sauce and Wortrotershire sauce?” She looked at him strangely before nodding and coming back from the kitchen about a minute later with the ingredients on the table in front of him. As he was mixing the ingredients into the glass, Blueblood entered the room and noticed the concoction his hungover uncle was making.

“What in Faust’s name is that travesty?” He asked, disgusted.

“It’s called a Prairie Oyster,” he simply said, “It’s supposed to help hangovers.”

“You’re not seriously going to drink that, are you?”

“Yep,” he said before pinching his nose shut and chugging the cocktail down. His whole body shuddered by the after taste.

“Now that should be gone in a couple of minutes, if not, up the dosage.”

“You’re disgusting.”

“Hey, it’s called improvisation, Blueballs; you got your medicinal magic, I got my D.I.Y. cocktail cure-alls.”

“That still doesn’t make them less primitive and more sanitary,” he huffed, walking out the room. At the same time, Celestia enters with a coffee mug in hand that said, “Royally pissed until this is empty.”

“Good morning, Dante,” she chimed, “You cleaned up good, did you light your face on fire again?”

“Lot quicker than shaving.” She noticed the dirty empty glass and cracked eggshell.

“Prairie Oyster?” She rhetorically asked.

“Yep.”

“You and your strange Human drinks.”

“Blueballs admired it,” he said in a sarcastic tone.

“I’m surprised the castle walls didn’t crumble from your angry reaction.”

“My head hurts too much to go and kick his ass.”

“What about the drink Luna made for you?”

“That elixir works if the pony loves the maker back.”

“Dante, I know it’s hard for you to accept after the incident fresh in your mind, but I assure you; things have changed drastically in the past thousand years. Please think your anger over.”

“I would love to stay, but what about that attack last night? Somepony obviously wants me dead and nopony is ever safe with my presence known here.” Celestia sighed and took another sip from her mug.

“It won’t matter how many they will kill just to get to me; we’ll have to think of something, but what?”

“Well, I’m scheduled to visit each major city and town in Equestria, how about you come with me to Ponyville after the conference?”

“Sounds like a plan I can wrap my thick head around.”

“Good, because we have less than an hour before the conference.”

“Joy.”

After Celestia finished her coffee, they both exited the castle straight towards the center of the gardens that greeted the entrance to the castle. There stood a massive stage that held a podium with a microphone and seats that were reserved for all royalty and leaders of each branch of Equestria’s military. From left to right, he read the reservations out loud,

“Princess of the Sun, Princess of the Night, Captain of the Royal Guard, Captain of the Wonderbolts, Captain of the Shadowbolts, Colonel of the Royal Army and Colonel of the Royal Marines. I see no Blueballs seat. I wonder who the Marine Colonel is?”

“The Colonel that is selected, serves until he retires or he dies.”

“Where is this Colonel, now?”

“He’ll be here, soon.”

He looked at the curtain he’s supposed to hide behind until his name is called. The curtain is white that bared the sisters’ royal crest. Celestia noticed the ponies come from each street and alley into the garden. Nearly panicking, the solar princess shoved him through the curtains.

“Stay here; it’s almost time!”

Curious, he pulled the curtain back slightly to show only an eye. He saw the mass gathering of ponies, both working class and rich. Stepping back from the curtains, he took a few deep breaths before hearing the taps from the microphone.

“Ladies and Gentlecolts,” Celestia’s voice boomed, “You’ve all been invited to meet an old friend of mine and an ancient hero of Equestria. His coat, red like the planet’s core, hair, white like snow, eyes like sapphire. He who is half demon of Tartarus and half human of the Planet Earth. Some of you might have seen him with me when I returned from Ponyville, some are seeing him for the first time. It is with great honor to introduce to you all, the Son of Sparda: Dante.”

The curtains swung open by Celestia’s magic, having the devil hunter met with mixed reactions. Some were shocked, some were confused and few were curious.

“Dante, would you speak, please?”

Nodding, he slowly walks up to the microphone and holds the sides of the podium, nervously.

“Hello everypony,” he began, “I am honored to be back within society after waiting for Princess Luna for so long. I will answer any question of the hand I pick. Any takers?”

Nearly everypony raised their hands, slightly throwing him off and nearly indecisive, but for the sake of keeping the conference from being a year long, he points to a blue stallion with a thin mustache with a white-furred tall mare next to him.

“Hello, my name is Fancy Pants. My question to you is: what did you do to warrant hero status?”

“Back when Equestria was but a small kingdom, I helped fight against the dark forces that wished to topple this kingdom. I defeated Nightmare Moon and waited for her return. Fortunately, I forever banished the wicked mare from possessing Princess Luna. Next question.”

Noticing some hands drop down, he pointed to a stallion who was wearing a baker’s uniform.

“Doughnut Joe, here, where were you when Nightmare Moon was banished?”

“I waited in the old castle in the Everfree for her return. I held the Elements of Harmony in my hands, sleeping in stone for a millennium until the new bearers broke my own seal by removing them from my body. I didn’t have the chance to thank them, yet. When I return to Ponyville, I will. Next question?”

“Twilight Velvet here, are you as old as the princesses?”

“Slightly older, but since I slept in stone, it kept me from aging. Next question? This time from any nobles.”

“Prince Blueblood; your Nephew, your appearance always makes me question, how can we tell the difference between your human and demon halves?”

“Right now, what you all see, is my regular Human form. However…”

He closed his eyes and concentrated, phasing into Devil Trigger. He opened his glowing white eyes to shocked expressions.

“When I concentrate, and if my body has enough demonic energy stored,” He explained in his demon voice (which sounds like talking into a fan), “I can release that energy to reflect the likeness of my father.”

He reformed back to his Human state and turned to look at the top brass.

“I will now take any questions from any of the Branch Heads.”

A mare wearing a Wonderbolt Officer’s uniform with flame-colored hair raised her hand.

“Captain Spitfire of the Wonderbolts. I noticed when you turned into a demon that there was something coming out of your back, what was that?”

“When I go into Devil Trigger, I get wings as well. I may not fly as fast as your Wonderbolts, but I’m no slouch, either. You in the side row of the audience?”

“Yes, Night Light, here, can you tell us about your father?”

“Yeah...I can,” he said, suddenly growing melancholy, “Back on Earth, 3 Millennia ago, a war raged on between the Human World and the Demon World. The Dark Knight, Sparda, grew attached to Humanity and rebelled against his own kind. He effectively kept the demon world at bay and ruled the Human World for 2 Millennia, until his death.”

“How did he die?” Celestia asked.

“When he sealed the demons away, he forfeited his demonic powers and form, making him fully Human. He died shortly after I was born from some kind of illness. I carry his legacy. Since I carry half his blood, that makes me immortal like our Alicorn rulers. I hope to keep the citizens of Equestria and the Elements of Harmony safe and possibly get to know some of you. I don’t like formalities; I’m a simple Stallion with simple tastes that likes to fight monsters, that’s all. You beside Fancy Pants.”

“Warrant Officer 2nd Class, Soarin. Are you an only child?”

The question drilled through his very psyche. His head drooped over and tears formed in his eyes.

“I...had a twin brother. His name was Vergil. He became obsessed with power. We fought a millennia ago, even before we arrived here in Equestria. He lusted for the power of our father’s sword. In the end, he sacrificed his power and life for me to defeat Nightmare moon the first time. To this day, he lives inside me. We may have fought each other constantly growing up, but...in all honesty...I miss ‘em. I will try to protect this kingdom from any threat possible and try to make this world more groovier in the process. That concludes the Q&A, everypony have a good afternoon.”

As he left the stage through the curtains, he heard most of the crowd in applause. A small smile grew on his face. They know he drove back the demons and they know he can annihilate the coming darkness. They now believe in him and respect him, how was never thought of in his mind; just relieved that nopony is afraid of him now.

After a few minutes of waiting in the castle throne room, the sisters came into the room. Luna, now anxious, opened her mouth, “Dante?”

“I know; what is it that you want to say?”

“I’m sorry; for everything I did. I should’ve took those arms to you, but...the Crystal Empire...ponies and the night...and…”

He wrapped his arms around her waist and she did the same to his neck.

“If what Tia said is true, then I believe you. It’s too dangerous for me to stay here, though; you saw first hand at the carnage. Just imagine the size of the next wave of demons that comes knocking on our door. I need to keep my distance from Canterlot until it is safe for everypony here for me to return. Don’t worry; I can protect the Element Bearers while I’m there and maybe get to know them too.”

“Just...be careful, okay?”

He softly kissed her and placed his hand softly on her face. Her face tilted in the direction of his hand and looked into his eyes.

“Been doing the same routine the past thousand years; I’m kind of a pro at it, now.”

They broke the embrace and the Demon hunter went over to the Sun Princess, whom was waiting for him.

“I’m ready; let’s go.”

As they climbed into the carriage, Dante looked out the window at Luna, who was at the castle gate looking back as it took off into the air. He sat back down and felt the sun princess’s head resting on his shoulder. He sighed.

“Might as well catch a few Zs on the way,” he mentioned to himself, dozing off. With over the course of 24 hours, it seemed to the Devil Hunter that things will be only getting crazier as time will progress. To the extent of his knowledge, he is ready, but also somewhat moved by the mystery of events to come and chaos will be not too far to follow in its wake.