Being the night security guard for Ponyville General Hospital is a boring and thankless job-- especially for Vigilance, who has his heart set on becoming a member of the Equestrian Royal Guard. Unfortunately both his current job and his future career are now in jeopardy thanks in part to a ridiculous incident in which Rainbow Dash broke in at night to steal a book, of all things. A book!

Now to save his job a reluctant Vigilance is saddled (pun unintended) with a new and frustrating duty: assisting in the treatment of his least favorite patient, an unidentified mare who thinks she's a dog.

Can Vigilance swallow his pride for long enough to get "Screw Loose" the exercise therapy she needs, or will her canine antics drive him barking mad?

Author's Note: Thanks to my prereaders, including Sapphire, Rated,and Ezefilly.

I came up with this idea ages ago as something I could write easily by hand when I didn't have access to a computer. And now thanks to the magic of "long exercise which gave me time to write," here it is!

Special thanks to Arrkhal on deviantart for drawing the picture that gave me the idea for this story in the first place.

Oh, and sorry for the potentially misleading short description... This cried out for a "they fight crime" thing, and I couldn't figure out something more accurate that would fit in the space provided ha ha.