Derpy and Hurpy

If mom wants to kill me, how would she do it? Maybe she would beat me with some hard object like usual. Or she would strangle my around my neck like she normally do. Or actually, she would break my wings and throw me off the clouds, faking an accident.

That sounds like the thing she would do. When the police and teachers ask, she would say.

“Hurpy always looked depressed. She must have not been paying attention to where she was going and rain into a rock and fell.”

Then no one would question my death.

Lately, mom had tortured me much more directly and physically. When I was young she tried to show her hate indirectly. Like when she bought my little sister cake but didn’t bought me any. Or when she bought my little sister some new cloth, but didn’t give me any. She always tortured me mentally.

“Hurpy, you are the big sister. You should take care of your little sister and let her have more.”

That’s what mom had always said.

Derpy and I were twins. Derpy was pretty and active, and when she smiles it was like a summer flower in bloom. In school all the teachers and ponies loved her. Sometimes she would give me leftovers of her food, so I liked her too.

Mom always forgot to make me meals on purpose. I had no other choice but to endure it. But if I open the fridge and find food myself, mom would get mad and throw something at me, maybe the solid cigar jar. Because I was afraid of getting hit, either by the stuff she threw or by her hooves, so a lot of times I just had to deal with the hunger. Sometimes I was so hungry that I saw illusions. When Derpy sees me like this, she would pass over her dish with some left overs. To be honest, at that moment she was like an angel to me, an angel that gives me broadleaves and carrot left overs to me.

Mom saw Derpy giving me food, but she never get mad that way. Mom had spoiled Derpy so much. She had never lectured her about anything.

I said thank you, took over the plate and start eating. To protect a little sister who was so important to me, I wouldn’t care if I had to kill some pony. I thought as I wolfed down the food.

I didn’t remember having a dad or anything. Since I remembered, it was me, my mom and Derpy living together. By then I had graduated into middle school, but life was still the same.

I have no idea how much impact could the fact of missing a dad make to my life. If I had a dad, maybe mom won’t break my teeth, or burn me with lit cigar. Maybe she wouldn’t even think about it. Maybe I could be just like Derpy, happy and pretty. I thought as I saw every morning when mom held up a plate of toast and eggs. These were all for Derpy, none for me. I tried to avoid looking at it, but I sleep right next to the floor in the kitchen, so it was quite impossible.

Mom and Derpy had their own individual room, but I didn’t. So all my stuff were put in the storage together with vacuum cleaner and stuff. Luckily I didn’t have many possessions, so I didn’t need much living room either. I had nothing except the textbooks from school, and my shirts were the ones that Derpy didn’t want any more. If I read some books or magazine once in a while, mom would take them away too. I only had a thin bed sheet right next to the kitchen garbage can, so I lie on top of it while I do my homework. But I had to be careful not to look at mom or Derpy. If she saw me looking at the, she would throw the kitchen knife at me. So I would just curl up in my bed sheet and covered myself with it. If I do it right, I could avoid sleeping on most of the bruises on my body.

I leave the house without breakfast every day. If I stayed home, mom would look at me in a way that could choke a puppy, saying “What are you still doing here? Get out!” so I tried to leave the house as early as I can to avoid that. Besides, mom could always find something wrong about me. No matter what I do, mom could always find a reason to punish me for it.

On my way to school I sometimes see Derpy fly pass me. I looked at her with envy. Her hair was always smooth and shinning, and she looked really happy as she flew. Derpy never talked to me in front of mom, maybe she didn’t want to get me in trouble. But when mom is not there, we would talk just like good sisters. Derpy is really popular at school, and she had a lot of friends chatting, talking and laughing with her. I am really jealous of her, but I just didn’t have to courage to join them.

I didn’t have much to talk about any way. I didn’t know any celebrities or famous singers. Mom would get really angry if she catches me watching TV, so to me a life with TV is a beautiful yet unfamiliar life.

So I didn’t have any confidence that I would fit in anywhere. So I ended up having no friends at all. During breaks I could only put my hooves on the table and my face on top of that, pretending to be asleep.

Derpy was like a god to me. She was loved by every pony, and I was her relative. I found pride in the fact.

We looked alike, since after all we were twins. But no pony had ever confused me with her, because she was always active and happy, but I was always quiet and depressing. My shirts always looked dirty and smelt funny as well, so every pony was able to tell right away.