Chapter 1: The Patient

Discord's Assistant Chapter 1:
The Patient

The sun was shinning on yet another beautiful day in Ponyville. Unfortunately, the rays of light did not reach into the sterile halls of the Ponyville Hospital Psych Ward. Inside the ward patients moaned in self-loathing or screamed at invisible phantoms. The only patient not part of the pain filled chorus was a single pegasus sitting alone inside a cushioned room and wrapped in a strait jacket.

The pegasus had a grey coat that was unkempt but not as much as his green mane which jutted out in a haphazard fashion. The pegasus’s green eyes were unfocused as one looked at the ceiling and the other looked out of the small window that the doctors looked through as they studied him. The most interesting thing about him was his lack of cutie mark on his flank. The pegasi was many years past foulhood but still lacked the necessary mark of adulthood that most young fouls coveted. In a whispered tone the pegasi sang a soft song that was barely audible to anyone but him.

Chaos lies defeated at the hands of the Moon and Sun
The master stands frozen inside their garden
And the ponies think they have won.

The Doos have gone mad and the ponies are glad
Because the Doos sided with their tormenter
And the ponies think they have won.

But the spell will not last
The curse shall pass
As the ponies think they have won.

Discord will rise
And Barmy Doo will fight by his side
As the ponies realize they will be defeated.

The pegasus continued the song over and over again only to stop to eat, sleep, or giggle. The pegasus was on the third verse has Nurse Redheart entered the room. The pegasus stopped his singing and looked with one emerald eye at the nurse. The nurse took a step back from the deranged pegasus but quickly corrected her self as she addressed the patient.

“Mr. Barmy Doo?” she asked the pegasi.

“Why yes my dear,” Barmy said with a slight smile, “How goes your job Nurse Redheart?”

“It has been lovely, Mr. Barmy.” The nurse replied with a smidge of discomfort.

“What brings a fine respectable mare like yourself to my lovely room this fine day.” Barmy straightened himself up against a wall.

“Well I was hoping to get your input on the incident the last week,” said Redheart as she pulled out a clipboard to take notes on.

“My dear, you will have to enlighten me of the incident for I have experienced many incidents last week,” the pegasus replied rather sarcastically.

“I am talking about the incident with doctor Stone.”

“Oh,” humped Barmy as he turned away from the nurse.

“No, need to be defensive,” consoled the nurse as she inched closer to her patient, “I just want to recite the account and maybe get input on the topic.”

“Go on.”

“Well of three o’clock three days ago you were in a session with Doctor Kidney Stone talking about your old job at the Canterlot Royal Gardens. You inferred on the stone statues situated in the garden and commented on your favorite statue, Discord the Sprit of Chaos. Doctor Stone then made a comment on his opinion on how the statue looked disgusting…” At this comment Barmy’s body went tense, “… and you began to violently beat him.”

“If I may speak bluntly,” Barmy stated, “violently beaten is a bit of an overstatement.”

“It took three guards to pull you off him and Dr. Stone had to be rushed into the Emergency Room.” The mare told the pegasus bluntly.

“Well at least we are already at a hospital.” With that Barmy again slumped against the wall. “Now, why are you really here Nurse Redheart?”

“The other nurses and doctors are saying you are an incurable patient. I have concurred with them but for other reasons. I do believe you are not insane in a treatable way. You are criminally insane. You understand right from wrong but refuse to follow the laws of society. You embrace the darkness instead of seeking the light.” With her last sentence the gray pegasi’s ears picked up. Barmy looked at the Nurse with the widest smile she had ever seen him give her and began to clap with his hind hooves.

“Well, the lovely nurse uncovers what the doctors are too blind to see. I am indeed not mad. I believe the rest of Equestria just lacks a certain . . . element. No I am not insane my dear, I am quite sane. I just believe the world has experience the insanity of sanity. I think what Equestria needs is a shift in the power structure. I think we need to shun the sunlight. I mean, why should we worship Tyrant Celestia.” Readheart gave an expression of shock at the Barmy’s treacherous words. “To bad they will never take a nurse’s opinion on a subject.”

“So, you have confirmed my suspicions Barmy.” The nurse sighed as she pulled out a tape recorder from her coat. “I am going to play our little conversation to the board of trustees and let us see how long you last here. Maybe we can get you transferred to a more secure enclosure. Maybe some faraway place like Stalliongrad or even Tarturus.”

Barmy’s half-cocked smile evaporated from his face. “No, I need to be here. I need to be close to Ditzy and more importantly I need to be close to HIM!” Barmy screamed the last part of his plea at the nurse, foam starting to flow out of his mouth. Immediately, like a child caught telling a secret, Barmy retreated to a corner of the cell and gave the nurse a fearful look, a look almost to the point of begging.

Redheart was shocked. Of all the time Barmy had been at their ward, he had never shown fear. When other prisoners attacked him, he merely fought his attackers no matter how many until they ceased to move or left him alone. When the guards would grab him to give him a dose of sedatives, he would be fighting and laughing the entire time even as he slipped into the drug induced stupor. Not once had this one patient not smiled during any situation. The look of fear and frown on his face scared Redheart more than any threat or action that Barmy had ever committed.

“Who do you need to be near Barmy?” she asked her patient with renewed care, “Who is he?”

Barmy leaned close to the nurse and whispered in her ear, “Go to Tartarus you bitch.”

Redheart’s caring nature evaporated as she rose to leave the cushioned room. She opened the padded door but before stepping through into the door she turned back to her soon to be former patient and whispered, “I hope you have enjoyed your stay here Barmy, because today is your last day here.” Barmy lunged at the nurse but the door slammed before he could reach her. The entire ward became filled with the screams of the pegasi as he cursed the world in his rage.

Hours passed before Barmy grew too tired to scream at the cushioned door his torment had exited. Barmy instead moved to a unsoiled corner of the room and began to weep.

“Its not fair, its not fair,” Barmy whimpered to himself, “ … I need to be here near him and Ditzy.” As Barmy’s sorrow began to creep in his heart, Barmy began to remember his past. Like a movie production, Barmy’s life began to play in front of him.

He remembered laying in a crib, crying for what he couldn’t remember why. He saw his mothers face. A soft pink coated mare with hazel eyes looking down on him whispering “its okay, Mommy is here.” Barmy smiled to himself has he watched the memory of his mother consoling him. He remembered her as she taught him to walk by himself or when she read him stories in the night. Though as twisted as he had become, he enjoyed remembering his mother’s love.

His smile turned into a frown as he remembered that day, the day he learned of hate. He was so young so innocent. He had been playing in the street, he hadn’t seen the cart coming. He remembered flying into the sidewalk as his mother pushed him out of the way. He remember seeing her lay in the street in a puddle of expanding blood. He remember traveling in the emergency cart with his mother and Crafty Crate, his father, to the Canterlot Hospital. He remembered his mother, broken and bleeding, as she was carted off to surgery.

The doctor had told his dad that there was nothing they could do. He pleaded with them to do something anything to help her. Barmy remembered the doctor saying she was already gone.

His father had thrown a chair at the doctor and would have probably beaten the doctor to death if the guards had not detained and sedated him. Before he passed out though, Barmy remembered the look his father gave him before he passed out. The look told Barmy everything his father couldn’t say, “You killed my wife. I hate you.”

Barmy remembered running through the halls looking for anyone to help. He begged everypony he found in a white coat to help his mom but nopony stopped to even listen to him. He was still running through the hospital when he crashed into her.

He remembered her flowing rainbow mane and her snow-white coat. She had huge wings of a pegasi and the horn of the unicorn. He realized she must be Celestia, the Princess of the Sun. If she could move the sun, maybe she could save his mommy. He had must have been in tears because she asked, “What is wrong my little colt.”

“Please, save my mommy.” He had whispered to her. He had

He had led her through the maze of rooms, looking for his mother. They had found her in the morgue, her body covered by a sheet. Her body was still warm. He had begged Celestia, “Please, fix mommy.”

Celestia had looked at him with a sad look on her face and, chocking back tears, said “I’m sorry my little colt, I can’t.” Celestia had then led the despairing Barmy out of the morgue.

Barmy had been numb the rest of the day. Somehow he was able to find his way into the room where his father was asleep. Exhausted from the events of the day, he had finally passed out.

After his mother’s death, Crafty barely acknowledged Barmy’s presence. Of course Crafty would feed him and take him to school. The other times of the day though, Crafty acted like Barmy didn’t exist. Barmy hated his father for that, Barmy hated the cart that took his mothers life, Barmy even hated his mother for leaving him to his empty life without her, and more importantly, he hated Celestia for not saving his mother.

But even in his darkness there was a shining light. Barmy remembered the times when he had visited his mother’s family, the Doos. Their was Betsy Doo, the mother, and the Twins, Bally and Loosy, and finally there was his favorite cousin, Ditzy.

Barmy remembered all the fun he and Ditzy got in as kids. Barmy remembered her coat that was a match to his, a soft gray. He remembered her flowing blond mane and criss-crossed golden eyes that matched his own green ones. Not only were they the same age but they even had the same birthday. He remembered Ditzy smiling at him as he did something silly or stupid. She would always hug him and say, “You’re so silly Barmy.” She was his best friend, his only friend.

Barmy remembered the day before Ditzy lost her mother. Betsy had called all her foals and Barmy into the living room while Crafty was out shopping for Betsy.

“What do you need mommy?” Ditzy had asked.

Betsy had looked at each of her foals. As she looked from one filly to another, a quizzical look would come to their faces. When Betsy had finally looked to Barmy, he finally saw the look of sorrow and fear on her face. She had told them about “neural decay” and “hereditary” and still Barmy and the Doo foals did not understand. Finally, Betsy had broken into tears and kept whispering, “I’m so sorry…” over and over again. Barmy, Bally, Loosy, and Ditzy all had run to her side and hugged her and cried with her for hours.

The next morning Barmy had found her. He had walked into her room to wake her when he found her swinging from the ceiling. He had screamed and Crafty came running. He roared at Barmy to hold back Ditzy and her sisters from coming into the room. All Barmy could remember was sobbing and him holding Ditzy as she wept into his chest.

The Doo children had come to live with Crafty and him after the incident. They were sad for a year but Ditzy and Barmy had remained the best of friends and finally the clouds of depression had given way to light. Then, years later when Barmy and Ditzy were in their teens, the twins got sick. Finally, it made sense why Betsy had been so sad that day. Barmy and Ditzy had visited the twins every week as they slipped deeper into the abyss of madness. They had held them and cried with them at every visit until the twins couldn’t recognize them anymore.

There was a ray of hope in those dark days though. The doctors had examined Ditzy and had found nothing wrong with her. When they examined him though, they couldn’t say if he would get sick like the twins or not. He had been afraid but Ditzy was there to console him. On their shared sixteenth, they decided to travel to Canterlot on a little family vacation to forget the worry and the pain.

Barmy and Ditzy were fascinated by the posh capital of Equestria. He and Ditzy had gone to see the Canterlot Castle and the fancy shops on Mane Street. They were having such a wonderful time. Ditzy had wanted to see the Canterlot Gardens and dragged Barmy along with her. That’s when he had seen the statue.

At first Barmy had wondered what it was. It had the one claw that was that of a cockatrice, another claw of a manticore, the body of a dragon, the face of a pony, and had many other body parts composed of different animals. He had asked himself, “What is it? Is it a pony? Is it a dragon?”

Ditzy had come along side him to see what he had been staring at and read the inscription at the base of the statue; Discord, Spirit of Chaos. Barmy and Ditzy stood there for an half an hour observing the statue. They were standing there when the sound of wood hitting wood filled the air.

They had flown out of the garden to see a chariot crashed into a building titled, Stan Fiche’s Fancy Sandwiches. Ditzy and Barmy had flown down to examine the wreckage when they heard the cries of a foal crying. They had flown to the carriage to see a small unicorn filly, not even a year old, trapped in the wreckage. The crash had killed the parents but in their last moments, they had gripped the filly to cushion it from the crash. The filly was laying on her parents, crying for them to comfort her.

Ditzy had grasped the carriage door’s handle and tried desperately to pull open the door to save the child. Barmy started toward Ditzy when part of the building, damaged from the crash, collapsed and pinned him.

Ditzy had screamed, “Barmy! Hold on I’m coming.”

Barmy had screamed back, “No! Save the foal first!”

Ditzy had hesitated at first but went back to trying to open the chariot door. That’s when Barmy had notice the upper half of the building shift. He saw that if it fell, both he and Ditzy would die under the weight of a thousand pounds of brick and mortar. Barmy began struggle under the weight of the piece pinning him. He called out to Ditzy to run but she was too preoccupied in trying to save the small foal trapped in the carriage.

The building began to shift again and Barmy realized this was how they were to die. He started to cry and scream knowing that not only he but the only pony he cared about in the world would die with him. Barmy screamed for anyone to help. He screamed, “I’LL DO ANYTHING JUST SAVE US, ANYONE!!!”

As soon as the words exited his mouth, he swore he could hear a low chuckle. And then he had heard him.

“All right I’ll help you. Remember though, you owe me.” The voice whispered in his head.

He saw an aura of green envelope the slab of the building on top of him. He saw brick and mortar turn into a swarm of small, winged bugs with round bodies and huge eyes. The swarm flew up and supported the crumbling building building, halting its collapse.

Barmy had run to Ditzy and together, they tore the door off the carriage. Ditzy reached in to save the foal and they both flew as fast as they could. When they were clear, the building finally collapse crushing the carriage.

Barmy was so relived to be alive. He hugged Ditzy and the filly and they added their tears to the foal’s own. The cried tears of sorrow for the foal’s parents and they cried tears of joy for being able to save the foal. The two pegasi landed inside the gardens to rest as guards finally arrived to help the injuried.

“More of evidence of Celestia’s uselessness.” He thought to himself.

“Indeed, she is rather late to the party.” Barmy turned to see who was talking and saw the green aura floating through the air. He watched it travel into the statue of Discord and phase into it.

“Thank you, Discord.” He had whispered to the not-so-ordinary statue

“What are you saying Barmy?” Ditzy had asked. Barmy drew himself together and went to check on his cousin. She was fine except for a few cuts and the foal had cried itself to sleep. The guards came to check on them and they were transported to the Royal Guard Headquarters.

The guards couldn’t find anypony to take in the foal. No family even came forward to claim the foal. Ditzy looked at the sleeping foal she was still caring with such sadness that it hurt Barmy’s heart. No family meant that the filly would be headed to the Canterlot Orphanage.

“I’m sorry ma’am, but I need to take the filly now. “ The guard had told Ditzy. As the guard reached for the filly, Ditzy pressed her closer to her chest.

“What if we take care of her?” Ditzy had asked the guard.

The guard, who had worn the most intimidating face since they had arrived at the headquarters, looked at the two ponies and smiled. He said to Ditzy, “If you want, I rather send her to live with a family instead of shipping her to the orphanage.

The foal had woken up then. Barmy finally got a good look of her. As he looked at the small foal, he saw that she was a unicorn and more interesting, she seemed to share the same coat and mane as Ditzy. She even seemed to have the same criss-crossed eyes as him and Ditzy. The filly had giggled at the two pegasi who looked down at her.

“What will we call her?” Barmy had asked Dinky.

“We will call her Dinky, Dinky Doo.” Ditzy she had told him. They both smiled and the small unicorn filly. Ditzy began to rock the young filly in her arms and the filly quickly fell asleep.