Discord's Assistant

Chapter 2: To Learn from Chaos

Ditzy Doo decided to punch out of work early. The Equestrian Delivery Service knew that their community favorite mail Pegasus would need the time off. The EDS knew to always let her off on the twenty-first of each month. They also knew to give her a full day off on the twenty-second. They knew their clumsy mail carrier wouldn’t come to work on visiting day at the Ponyville Hospital.

Ditzy turned in her mailbag and slowly fluttered in the direction of her house deep in thought. Ditzy wondered if her sisters would actually recognize her and if they did, would they be accusing and vicious. She wondered if the doctors would want to examiner her for the thousandth time. She wondered what she would do with Barmy tomorrow. Most importantly though, Ditzy wondered if she should take Dinky to finally see Barmy.

Dinky had been barely old enough to remember Barmy when he was taken from them. Dinky for the first year would ask, “Where’s daddy?” Ditzy would feel a lump form in her throat and fight back a sob as she told the young filly, “He’s safe.” After a year, she stopped asking for her father.

It wasn’t like Barmy was dangerous to her or Dinky. In fact, the doctors said he was always on his best behavior when Ditzy came to visit him. Ditzy could always trust in Barmy to cheer her up after her visit to her sisters.

Ditzy constantly requested that the doctors have Barmy released so that she could take care of him. The doctors would always tell her he was too dangerous and then list over two dozen infractions he had committed the prior month. She would tell him they were wrong, that they couldn’t see him for how smart he was. She would tell them he isn’t truly crazy.

Ditzy did know her cousin wasn’t crazy. Yes, he had done a horrible deed, an evil action, and at the time had needed the help of the doctors in the ward. But, he wasn’t the same crazy as her sisters. The crazy that broke her heart every time she saw her sisters. She could see it in the way he spoke and acted toward her. He was the perfect gentlestallion, always making sure she was okay and comfortable as he talked with her.

Looking down, Dizty realized she was just over her house. She saw a crude bulls-eye made out of flowers in her front lawn and dove towards it. Unable to stop herself from descent, Ditzy aimed for the mattress cushioned center of the bulls-eye. Her flight came to an end completely off mark and in a nearby tree. A family of robins were disturbed from their nests and made irritated chirps at her. Ditzy quickly apologized to them and slip down to the ground below.

Trotting to her front door, Ditzy could make out a faint smell of carrots and dough coming from inside. She quietly slipped into the house and tip-hoofed towards the kitchen. She peeked into the kitchen to see an yellow coated, orange mane earth pony checking the oven window on the cooking treats. Ditzy slowly crept closer to her target until her mouth was inches from the earth pony’s ear.

“What are you making?” She whispered into the earth pony’s ear with a ear nibble to startle her. The earth pony’s muscles, toned from years of agriculture work, tensed from Ditzy’s voice. Turning around, the pony seeing Ditzy standing behind her with a silly smirk on her face caused her tension to escape.

“Ditzy! You shouldn’t sneak up on me like that.” Golden Harvest scolded at the gray Pegasus. “And if you must know I am trying a new recipe of carrot muffins…”

“Muffins!” Ditzy screamed with shrill delight, putting her face as close to the oven door to watch the pastries rise. “Harvest I…” Dizty began but was silenced by the other mares lips pressing against her own. Ditzy brought Harvest closer to her as their mouths embraced.

Ditzy had been in bad shape after Barmy’s admittance into the Psych ward. To drown her sorrow, she had turned to the bottle, suckling the fire water like Dinky did her milk bottle. Her care free attitude turned to sadness and the silly pegasus who couldn’t fly strait became the drunk now one wanted to associate with. The EDS had even put her on suspension with the stern warning to get sober. She had in turn walked to the nearest bar, The Salt Lick, and had began to drink.

Then she had seen Harvest walk in. She had never seen the mare before but could tell she wasn’t very happy by the sad look she had on her face. Harvest had walked up to the bar and sat next to Ditzy. She ordered a drink but before the glass had met her lips she had started crying. Not knowing what possessed her, Dizty had initiated conversation with the down trodden mare.

They talked for hours about the most common things like the weather and gossip from Canterlot until they were kicked out so the bar could close. Ditzy had volunteered to fly her bar buddy to her home when Harvest had begun to cry again. Harvest then informed her that she had just lost her home to a fire earlier in the day and was now homeless. Ditzy, feeling sorry for her, had taken Harvest to spend a couple days at her home until she found a new home.

As the days passed with Harvest at her home, Ditzy found herself turning less and less to her bottle. She was even able to stop drinking entirely. The EDS had revoked her suspension and given her old job back. Dinky loved the new friend she found in Harvest and while Ditzy was at work, Dinky and Harvest would play with each other.

As the days turned into months, Ditzy started to fell a change. Every time Harvest looked at her she would blush. When Harvest laughed, Ditzy would laugh with her. Ditzy also had to stop herself from becoming hypnotized by Harvest’s flank. Before long, Ditzy accepted that she had fallen for the mare. And then Harvest had found a new home.
“It’s in Fillydelphia, just an hour flight from Ponyville. It’s not like I am not going to visit.” Harvest had told Ditzy. Ditzy, whose heart hurt with each beat, just stared at her crush.

“But you’ll move on. You’ll forget about me and Dinky” Ditzy had sobbed at Harvest. Harvest walked over to the weeping pegasus and comforted her.

“Please, don’t go…” Ditzy had whispered to her.

“I can’t keep imposing on you anymore. Harvest had told Ditzy, “I need to be able to stand on my own feet. I can’t have you supporting me forever.” Harvest had begun walking to the front door when Ditzy spoke her feelings.

“You can’t do this?” Harvest stopped at Ditzy’s hysterical shout. “You can’t just come into somepony’s life, teach her to love again, and then leave her?”

“Ditzy, what are you…”

“I love you?” Ditzy shouted at Harvest, “Please, don’t leave me all alone.” With her final outburst, Ditzy collapsed to the floor sobbing.

“She’ll run away now,” Ditzy had thought too herself, “She’ll run and I’ll never see Harvest again.” Surprisingly to her, she felt two hooves lift her head from the floor and a pair of lips meet hers. “I love you too, Ditzy,” Harvest had told Ditzy as tears began to form in her eyes. They kissed again and cried in each other’s arms. From that day forth, the two mares had belonged to each other.

Ditzy broke away from her flashback and her mare friend’s kiss, panting from excitement.

“I know tomorrow is going to be hard on you so I was making something to give you strength. You could even share them with Barmy.” Harvest told Ditzy.

“Thank you Harvest, “ Ditzy nuzzled Harvest, “And maybe . . . I could take Dinky along with me this time.”

Harvest smiled at Ditzy, the warmest smile she had ever given her. “Every filly needs to know their parent and every parent needs to see their filly.” Harvest whispered to Dinky as she brought her mouth to the pegasus’s mouth again. The two mares embraced each other again and the thoughts and worries of tomorrow disappeared with their love.

In his dank cell, Barmy remembered starting his family. He, Ditzy, and Dinky had moved into a new home. Ditzy became a full time mom while he was tasked into finding a new job. All pegasi-focused jobs near Ponyville were taken and he had become discouraged. He found an opening in the Canterlot Gardens and jokingly sent in a application as a joke. As dumb luck would have it, he actually got the job.

Since he was not an earth pony, Barmy couldn’t tend to plants in the garden or trim the hedges. He had one thing an earth pony didn’t though and that was the power of flight. The management noticed this and tasked him with repairing and polishing the statues.

Since most statues were five times larger than the average pony, Barmy was a key part in the upkeep of the Canterlot Garden. The pay wasn’t terrible. It was just enough to support Ditzy and Dinky. On his third day of his new job, Barmy encountered Discord again.

Barmy had just finished repairing the arm to the statue representing Nike, Banner of Victory, when he heard a humming. Barmy followed the noise to through the hedge maze to discover its source. He had come back to the statue of Discord and recognizing him, Barmy was fascinated. He began polishing the statue and repairing any cracks he could find on him. An hour passed and Barmy finally finished his work.

“Thank you again Discord,” Barmy whispered to the statue, “thank you for my life and Ditzy’s life. I’m not sure if you are listening but thank you.” The garden suddenly fell into a deafening silence. The birds stopped chirping and the garden creatures were frozen in their hiding places. Barmy started to wonder why they had stopped when hysterical laughter shattered the silence. Barmy heard a sarcastic, familiar voice resonate in his head.

“Well, this is a surprise,” the voice’s laugh vibrated in Barmy’s ears, “no one thanked me for anything in a millennia.”

“So you’re really…” Barmy began to ask.”

“Yes, I am Discord, God of Chaos, Element of Disharmony, and Lord of the Dance. Please, hold your applase.” Discord responded in a booming, theatrical voice.
Barmy retreated from the statue, scared of his discovery of Discord. Realizing his error though, Barmy quickly returned to Discords feet.

“Why did you save us?” Barmy asked Discord, “Why save two little ponies from such a chaotic situation. I mean, you are the god of Chaos right?”

“Why, you asked for help.” Discord answered in a sarcastic tone.

“Anypony would ask for help at a time like that.”

“Yes, anypony would. The only difference is you didn’t cry out for Celestia to help you.”

“What do you…” Barmy began to ask before a zipper appeared on his lips and sealed them shut.

“Now now, it’s very rude to interrupt another’s explanation,” Discord told Barmy as Barmy struggled with the zipper keeping his mouth shut,” now where was I… Ah yes, not asking Celestia for help. Many accidents happen in Canterlot and most ponies cry out for help that end up in them. They ask Celestia for help like a prayer to a god. You know the result, a good maiming if not a painful death. Now, you were different. You didn’t ask for her help at all so I actually wanted to help you.” The zipper disappeared from Barmy’s mouth and he gulped a huge breath of air as Discord roared with laughter.

“Why would I ask that sunny bitch for anything.” Discord sputtered. Discord’s laughter ended as abruptly as it had started.

“What was that?” Discord asked Barmy, any hint of sarcasm or laughter gone from his voice.

“I wouldn’t … ask that bitch for anything…” Barmy frighteningly whispered wondering if he had upset the god. His fears disappeared as Discord screamed like a shrill girl.

“Finally, somepony who gets it,” Discord sang in a joyful voice, “a kindred spirit who finally gets it. I have found another who hates the sun.”
“You hate her too?” Barmy had asked as the excitement began to grow in his voice in his voice.

“Why yes, how do you think I turned me to stone.” Discord laughed. The pegasus’s and the dragonequise’s laughter filled the empty garden. The laughter was of that of two old friends meeting again or of two conspirators part of secret agenda.

“Oh, I must keep you around,” Discord told Barmy as the pair’s laughter subsided, “Maybe we could make a deal.”

“What sort of deal?” Barmy asked Discord defensively.

“I have grown so bored these last few centuries maybe you could keep me entertained. In return, I’ll teach you amazing things, things that will make you the smartest pegasus in all of Equestria and opens your eyes to the lies around you.”

“What, no pledge of loyalty?” Barmy jokingly asked Discord.

“Oh heavens no,” Discord assured Barmy, “trust me, when you learn my secrets, you’ll want to be loyal to me.

“No mind control right?”

“Not in the slightest. What, you don’t trust me?”

“As far as I can throw you.” Barmy told Discord with a smirk.

“Now you’re learning. So, how about it.”

“Alright, I’ll take your offer.” Barmy told his new teacher his decision. “Can we start tomorrow?”

“Of course.” Discord told his new pupil, “be sure not to tell a soul though.”

Barmy flew out of the garden and punched out of work. He had a kick in his wing as he took flight. The entire flight home, Barmy couldn’t stop smiling.