The Elements of Awesomeness
(Please note that in this chapter, the fourth wall gets brutally manslaughtered many times.)
Well, there goes one main character. This at least makes things easier for me.
Anyway, Twilight is "defeated" by this creature that we are calling the antagonist, Ares. Quite a cliffhanger, isn't it? No? Darn. Whatever, at least I made a reference nopony will get. I made a sad background for Derpy, which I may eventually make into a story by itself. Oh darn, I'm breaking the fourth wall too much. Well, let's get to the story since you want that instead of this random babbling.
Twilight was gone. But none knew of it. Except Twilight herself. But that's for a different story (cough, cough).
The group had finished talking to Hermes, also known as Weirdo by me, because he randomly disappeared. "Well, here starts a new chapter," said Dr. Whooves. I'm breaking the fourth wall way too much for the beginning of a story, even if this is a random-comedy.
Suddenly, rumbling was able to be heard throughout the Hall of Heroes. Then, small rocks started falling from the roof. Lyra looked up and saw a boulder coming straight for her face. She somersaulted out of its reach right before it crushed her. "We have to go!" yelled Bon-bon. They all nodded.
They did epic dodges and dances while running to the entrance. The previously beautiful meadow was full of logs and stumps now. They quickly met the entrance. As they went towards it, a boulder fell and blocked the entrance. "There's no way out!" yelled Octavia over the roars of the falling boulders.
Derpy didn't really agree with that. She grabbed the sword and sliced at the boulder. It cut it up a bit, but not enough to break it. "Come on, everypony!" she yelled. "I need all of your help to destroy this!" Bon-bon and Dr. Whooves kicked at it, Octavia and Lyra used their instrumental notes to hit the boulder, but Vinyl Scratch was standing behind all of them. Derpy yelled, "Why aren't you helping us?"
Vinyl got a smirk on her face. "Alright, everypony, take a seat. I got this." Every pony stood back curiously. Vinyl then aimed her hoof with the watch at the boulder, then fired her bass cannon at it, causing it to explode and making its remains stay on fire.
"Why didn't you do that in the first place?!" yelled Derpy.
Vinyl thought for a moment. "I don't know, probably because I like to see others struggle while I can do it instantly." Vinyl looked up and back-flipped out of the way from an oncoming boulder. "Okay, I'll leave now."
They all galloped to the doorway and went out. They stared at the previously beautiful palace as it crumbled down to pieces. They noticed that the entrance was still open. "I guess that boulder we destroyed was meant to block the entrance," said Bon-bon.
They knew their first part of their journey was over. This next part is saving Equestria. But finding, then defeating, their foe they know little about is the tough part. They decided to walk home, considering that was really the only place in Equestria that makes sense to go to, because they don't really know anywhere else. So, part 1.5 is done of their journey. Let us continue on, since there isn't anything to talk about.
They were returning the Ponyville just like they went to the Hall of Heroes: In a boring fashion with random talk. However, instead common talk, they talked about things that actually pertain to this story. The first conversation started soon after they left the hall of heroes, which was began by Dr. Whooves to Derpy: "So, Derpy... those things you said about Twilight leaving us... that really wasn't your reason for getting angry with her, was it? It was about your past with her, wasn't it?" Derpy made no reply, just looked slightly downward as they walked. "Derpy, I really want to know this-"
Derpy interrupted with her yelling, "Okay, that was the reason! You know my secret, so are you all going to shove it in my face now? I thought I could trust you all with me telling my secret, but apparently I was mistaken..."
Bon-bon said, "Look, Derpy. You trust us- or, at least, trusted us-, and we trust you. That's great. But that isn't the same as knowing somepony. We need to know more about each other for full trust and support."
Derpy was silent for a moment. "I-I'm sorry. I really overreacted. I'm sorry I yelled at you all. And... yes, that was probably the biggest reason I was so mad at Twilight, the first pony I ever trusted, (except for my parents before, but I'll never trust them again after our 'incident') just walked out on me, just because she was stressed and frustrated. How would you feel if the only pony you ever trusted left you forever, just because you made them mad? This hurt me. Not just mentally, but also physically. The story I told was just like that for me. But it's like adding a climax to a sad story. It just... hurts. Enough to mentally kill a pony."
This made every pony go quiet, and stay quiet for a while. None replied to this, because there was no proper reply to a story like that. It was taking a sad story, and changing it to make it even sadder somehow; everypony knew about all of this information, but they were still sad from this. After a while, this went out of the ponies' heads, and they started talking in conversations again. The next conversation popped up about an hour and a half later: "Hey, Lyra," said Bon-bon. "How did you know humans exist? I think I might believe they exist now after meeting that one god, which was only thought of by humans, according to you."
Lyra thought for a moment. "I think my beliefs about them came from... um... I don't even know. I don't know when I got the idea of their existence, but I finally put together the pieces of the puzzle in a dream, and I was pretty much sure of their existence since then."
Bon-bon said, "So... I guess you were right about all of this then? I really need some time to rethink my priorities in life, and reconsider all of the things I think impossible..." Every pony laughed at this.
Then, yet another came up. (If you haven't guessed now, I'm just typing stuff so this chapter doesn't end up super-short.) Here it is: "When did you meet Lyra, Bon-bon?" asked Vinyl Scratch.
Bon-bon said, "We went to college together. Wait, is there such thing as college? Isn't that a place where humans-" She looked angrily at Lyra, who was doing a nervous smile. "You're rubbing off on me, Lyra. Actually, we met one day at Sugar Cube Corner. The place was packed, so I had to go to borrow a table with somepony else. The only one not filled with ponies was Lyra's, so I asked to sit with her, and she accepted. We talked a bit, and found out that we have much in common. We met at other places, and we became close friends. When Lyra had to live on her own in Ponyville, I told her she could live with me. She accepted, and that's our story."
Lyra looked at the would-be camera. She said, "And no, we do NOT have any romance or stuff going on between us; we are just friends."
Octavia said, "Um, Lyra... why are you saying that? None of us are expecting that, and you're not even saying it to us."
Lyra looked back to them and said, "Since there is no Pinkie Pie in this story, I guess I'll have to break the fourth wall for her. And don't ask what the fourth wall is, I'm not even going to explain it."
Bon-bon continued, "And she is a bit of a nuisance at times, but she's a good friend. How did you meet Octavia , Vinyl?"
"Well, we met at Music School. When we first met, we realized that we were both equally good at opposite kinds of music. Guess what? We became arch nemeses. We didn't actually have music battles until a contest came up at music school. We both entered and we went up to the finals, where we faced each other. It was an epic battle, and, in the end, even the judges couldn't come up with an obvious winner, so we both won. After that, we decided to put aside our differences and talk. We became friends, blah blah blah, we became best friends, blah blah blah, we moved in together, blah blah blah, and now we're saving the world together." Octavia had nothing to disagree with, and Vinyl noted this. "Of course, we still act like best frienemies, since we argue about everything still because we're still so different. But, we're still friends because we're different."
And finally, the last conversation came up... but I'm too lazy to write it because I am too happy that this part of their journey is FINALLY over. I hate this entire chapter because it's all story and no fun. So, the conversation's about Bon-bon asking Derpy why she thinks that they wanted to kill her because of her derp eyes, and for some reason Derpy thinks it's offensive. She also said they were going to do surgery to fix her eyes and change her voice, then change the name on her birth certificate. But, this was highly expensive and they decided that throwing her off a cliff was easier and cheaper, plus it would give a funny scare to some random pony who finds a filly's body tumbling down a hill and ending up in front of their hooves. Oh, did I mention that the doctors had some pretty screwed up minds? So conversations are finally done. Great, now I have to make this only one fourth of the chapter to compete with Chapter 1. Did I mention I hate this chapter?
So, after I have completely annihilated the fourth wall with the epic commentator that no one reads in the awesome movie voice that it's meant to be read in, they end up in Ponyville. Then they all died. The end. Wait, what do you mean that isn't a good ending? It was a perfectly reasonable ending, featuring overly dramatic deaths from random, unknown reasons! Wait, that didn't happen? Fine, fine. I will continue this story.
"We're finally back in Ponyville. I really need some sleep," said Octavia.
"I think we all do," said Bon-bon, who pointed out the larger-than-before bags under her eyes.
"I think we should still stick together, though," said Lyra. "This Ares dude doesn't sound like a nice guy."
"Yes, I agree," said Dr. Whooves. "We should sleep in the same room, so we still at least can fight together if we get a rude awakening."
Lyra said, "I propose we stay at my and Bon-bon's place."
Vinyl said, "No, we should stay at Tavi and my place."
While everypony was bickering on this dumb subject. Derpy was quietly thinking. She realized something. "Hey, everypony!" she said. All attention was brought to her. "We should stay at Twilight's home! She's supposed to be here, isn't she?"
They all agreed, but... "Aren't you still angry at her?" asked Dr. Whooves.
Derpy didn't reply at first. "Yes," she said. "But I can't keep that grudge."
They didn't talk again until they went to Twilight's house. When they got there, suspicions arose: There was a giant explosion radius on the ground, and the door to Twilight's house was wide open. "Ouch," said Derpy. Derpy walked inside. "Are you in there Twilight? Spike?" No reply. "I don't think they're here. That's bad, considering both of them are supposed to be here."
"Well, that means more space for us!" said Vinyl. Everypony else just glared at her. "...but, that means something bad happened to them!" She made an awkward smile and slowly backed away.
Derpy stared at her still, but after she was finished staring, she said, "Okay. So, we're staying here, since this is the roomiest and most comfortable." They walked inside. "So, I guess we'll close all of the curtains to block out the most sunlight, since it's a good idea to sleep after that long journey." They grabbed blankets and pillows from a closet, and they closed the curtains so it was dark in the room. They all said good-night (more like good-day) and went to sleep. Except Derpy. She just lied in her bed, staring at nothing, thinking about nothing. She then wen out of her trance and lifted up the sword. She looked at her looked at her edited reflection, due to the sword not being flat. She got tears in her eyes. She has no reason why. She just... did. After this, she decided to drift off into dream land.
But, this was no pleasant dream. It was, if anything, a nightmare.
Derpy found herself on a giant rock, floating with and from nothing. It was surrounded my high mountains, unable to be climbed. All above her was a vast deepness of nothing but red darkness. She heard something, like a giant moan. It was from far away to her back, but loud enough to be right behind her. She turned around to find her fear. There, was our antagonist, Ares. He was huge, with a look of evil in his eyes. "Hello, there, my enemy," it boomed. "This is who you will be fighting: Me. I am immortal. There is no way to defeat me."
We'll see about that, Derpy thought. She puffed at the ground to the right of her with her right hoof. No sword!
As if reading her mind, he said, wiggling his finger, "Nuh-uh-uh. You can't fight me right now. That's the point. I'm just trying to teach you who you will be fighting, so you can be either scared or determined. Your choice. Don't worry; when you actually fight me, you won't be as hopeless."
Derpy yelled, "You will never win! We shall defeat you, even if you are immortal!"
Ares smiled and said, "I don't think so. I have an army of ready soldiers."
Derpy heard a voice call from afar. "Well, we have a Pinkie Pie and a better army!"
Derpy looked up and saw every living creature in the world jumping above her, over the mountain. This includes every pony, from earth pony to pegasus to unicorn to even the alicorns, changelings, and every single animal in the world. That was one heck of an army. In front were the mane 6, along with Princess Celestia, Princess Luna, Discord, and Chrysalis. Derpy was awe-struck, how the biggest of enemies can work together to defeat their common foe. Twilight, who was in the whole head of the army, looked down and saw Derpy. Twilight seemed like her heart stopped for a beat, probably 2. She just shook it off and landed on the ground, with everything else following that.
The last thing Derpy heard and saw was Ares saying, "Attack!" While pointing his finger at the army. Then, a huge amount of weird-looking things jumped over the other mountain. Derpy wanted to see this, but then came a blast of light overwhelmed her.
"Ah!" she yelled as she woke up from this revelation. That couldn't be just a dream. She doesn't have an imagination to imagine that. Nothing could ever think that up. Maybe Ares was not lying: He just brought her there to see if she would be scared or determined. She looked around and saw all of her friends around her. She just realized she was drenched in sweat.
"Finally, you woke up!" said Lyra. "You were tossing and turning, sweating like an Olympic human, and you were screaming stuff in your sleep. We wanted to wake you up, but we were too afraid you would punch one of us in the face."
"The war!" Derpy said, "The war has started!"
"What war?" asked Bon-bon.
"The war against Ares! Every living thing taken out of this dimension and into that one, they're fighting Ares and his army! I don't know who's winning, I left just as it started. But it is definitely going to be a crazy battle."
"How do you know it wasn't just some crazy dream?"
"No imagination is capable of meeting an antagonist they've never met, then have everything ever start attacking an army they've never seen also. Just trust me."
Octavia asked, "So... does that mean that have to find a way to get a portal there so we can ensure our victory?"
Derpy's eyes seemed to widen. "You're right. But I don't know how, and I'm sure none of you know how either." She waited for all of them to shake their heads. "I also doubt that any book has some way, because then we would have already been there already."
Vinyl replied, "But what if there is? It's unlikely, but not impossible."
Octavia said, "For once, Vinyl, I might actually agree with your 'philosophy'" Vinyl was apparently happy at this.
Derpy said, "You may be right, Vinyl. Quick! We have to go through every book in this library to see if there is some kind of way written in a book."
They all nodded and grabbed a book. Some skimmed through the pages, some looked in the index; at least they had some method of finding it.
After a few hours, they still had't found anything, even though about 200 books were looked through. "This is hopeless! We'll never find anything!"
At this, Derpy decided to silently go outside. She couldn't explain why it was a good idea. She just knew this was the way to find anything she needed. She decided to sit under the branches of a tree that wasn't moving. She thought back to the book she just read instead of searching for the portal in a book. The book she read was called The Way of the Ancient Thinkers: How to find Philosophy in Meditation. She thought about the important steps. The first step was to find a good sot to meditate. Check. Step two was to clear the mind. She did as was told. Check. The third step was to let the body find a shape to meditate in. This wasn't controlled by the mind, but instead the soul. She slowly drifted into a strange shape, which she assumed was a correct shape. Check. The final step was to let the world around sink in, and find ideas around from the trees, plants, and animals. Well, there were no animals, so she assumed that this meant that find her answers took more time. So, the meditation began. She began to let the world's wonders slowly come in to her mind. She wold find her answers soon enough.
The rest of the group were searching everywhere for Derpy, because she randomly disappeared. Maybe she was crushed underneath the weight of the 500 books. They didn't know, but decided to go outside to check. They walked together, then eventually found her, sitting under a tree.
"Is she dead?" whispered Lyra. "She is in a weird-looking position for a body."
"She's obviously meditating," loudly whispered Dr. Whooves.
They all slowly and silently went up to this meditating pony. Just when they got close, Derpy's eyes swung open. They thought Derpy was going to yell at them for doing something wrong. She didn't, but still yelled something. "I figured it out! I know how to open a portal to get to this other dimension!"
"You do? That's great!" said Bon-bon.
"Okay, so here's what to do..."
After explaining the plans (four times), they all nodded and began the process. "Step one:" said Derpy, "Aim your watch lasers at the wall." They all began shooting at the wall, near ground level. "Aim it higher!" They all aimed it a couple feet higher.
"Why?" asked Bon-bon.
"We need to jump in!" After about another minute, she commanded them to rest; it left a weird goo-like substance on the wall, but it actually was the wall (it wasn't goo). Derpy then grabbed her sword and swung at that weird stuff. It cut right through the wall, leaving a rip in it. But not to the other side of the wall; it was a portal. They couldn't see what was on the other side of the portal, but they knew it was right. Derpy smiled and said, "Perfect." She then cut out the outside of the stuff, and it was a full portal then.
"Okay, friends." said Derpy. "This is it. This is war. A battle to the finish, until one said wins. We will be that side. Through that portal lies a battlefield. It also features our main enemy. That's who we're trying to defeat, not everyone else on their side. Now, let's jump through this portal and land in a ready battle stance. We shall defeat them!" They all did a loud cheer and jumped through the portal, in a stance ready for battle. Derpy aimed her sword at Ares and yelled, "You shall be defeated today!" and she charged and him; the group followed. But, she didn't realize that it was her side who was losing this battle.
The Elements of Awesomeness
"Charge!" Derpy yelled with her group following.
Ares pointed back and yelled, "Attack them!" Then, a bunch of humans ran towards them, spears up. As they started to attack, Derpy swung her sword, cutting two of them right in the chest, making them bleed. Thankfully, it wasn't a deep blow, so insides were shown. "Quick!" yelled Derpy. "Stop charging and attack them!" She then paused and started attacking them again. The rest followed and started attacking. Derpy swung her sword right at the chest of a human, making him bleed.Vinyl fire her laser- um, I mean bass cannon- at a few humans making them fly back and making them have a big bruise that would hurt in the morning. Lyra and Octavia stood back-to-back and started playing. The notes flew around, knocking away the incoming enemies. There was a final, damaged enemy right in front of Octavia, so she took the cello and slammed it right across that human's face, knocking him multiple feet to the side with a crooked neck. Lyra looked at him and said, "Was that really necessary?"
Octavia smiled and said, "Nope." And no, her neck did not extend nor did she turn into Big Macintosh. Gosh, why would you expect that, silly?
Meanwhile, Doctor Whooves and Bon-bon were working together. Doctor Whooves was constantly messing with time; he would stop it so he could run behind someone and kick them in the back, slow it when an incoming spear or punch was being thrown so he could dodge it, and speed it up so he could throw punches at extreme speeds. Bon-bon is still pretty much useless, but she assisted him. In the end, they all met up again. None of them were even scratched. And all of the bodies and around them were bleeding, scratched, bruised, and even a few had broken bones. Ares was shocked how they had so much power not only together, but also individually. The army usually works. But when that doesn't work, he uses more army. So, he points at them and yells, "All of you! Attack them!" Then, all of the humans still conscious on the battlefield charged at them, along with about a hundred more over the cliff.
Derpy yelled towards the regular mane 6, who had just lost their enemies due to the call, "Uh, you all? I think we need some help over here!" Then, the 6 mares ran towards them and all 12 of them stood stood, backs to each other, looking at the hundreds of humans running right towards them. "You ready?" asked Derpy.
Twilight nodded, crown-thing on her head, and said, "Let's do this." Then, they started fighting. I'm not very good at being descriptive, but let's just say that this is some Michael Bay-level action here. Pretend that there's some camera that's above them, and it slowly spins to sides... Man, I feel like this is turning into a troll fic. It isn't, okay? Anyway, they all were fighting, between kicks and bucks, unicorn spells, bass cannon lasers, musical notes, and other stuff, it was an epic battle. The humans charged and threw spears, but they were always ineffective. They always dodged or, if they were unlucky enough to throw it at Twilight, it would be sent flying back towards them at double speed. It was pretty freaking brutal. There was blood everywhere. Really, it was pretty brutal. I didn't get that descriptive for 2 reasons. 1: I want to keep this E-rated. 2. I suck at using adjectives. And being descriptive.
Anyway, when the last human fell, they all got out of their stances and looked at the awe-struck Ares. Then, Derpy smirked and turned around. "Alright," she whispered to the 11 ponies standing around her. "I know how to defeat him: The 5 of you," she pointed her hoof towards the rest of the Elements of Awesomeness. "will shoot your lasers at me, or, more specifically, my sword. Then the you 6," she pointed at the Elements of Harmony. "will shoot your rainbow-harmony-thing at my sword. However, I want all of you to follow me by my side. Got it?" Everypony nodded even though they didn't understand why. Derpy turned around to look at the Ares who still had a dropped jaw. She pointed the sword at him and yelled, "This is it! We shall defeat you, NOW!" She yelled the last part even louder than before. She then charged towards him on 3 hooves because she held her sword high. Half a second after, everypony ran behind her, in a sort of v-shaped pattern. She then yelled, "Now!" The other Elements of Awesomeness then fired bluntly at the sword, making the sword glow.
Doctor Whooves had the sudden urge to set his watch to a strange option he had set before, but not actually use it. "I don't know why," he muttered to himself. "But I guess I will; I do have strange instincts that are usually right." While running, he quickly set his watch to the option.
Derpy yelled for the second time, "Now, girls!" The Elements of Harmony prepared their rainbow-happy-harmony-colorful-evil-killing-thing.
Ares slowly shook his head and sighed. "I never wanted to do this. I really didn't want to. But, I guess I will. You all leave me no choice." He then started doing something indescribable that I will let you minds ramble on about. Then, he did something also indescribable, and then a giant pulse wave was sent in all directions.
"Wha-" Derpy gasped, but was stopped suddenly when the wave hit her, making her suddenly stop in place, eyes wide open, with strange un-graviational balance.
Lyra yelled, "Derpy! No-" Then she was hit by the wave, making her get into the same state. While all of the others were getting sucked into the trance, Doctor Whooves ran away. "No, no, no-" But, he wasn't fast enough, and it hit him. Soon, everything else in that entire dimension was stuck in time. No way to fix it. Everything was to be stuck in time forever. It was the end. Nothing could be fixed- or could it? (Let's just ignore the fact that Ares isn't the Greek god of time, okay?)
The only light or movement anywhere was a flashing light. A small, orange flashing light. Located right on the wrist of the hoof of Doctor Whooves. He was right; his gut did save him, and everything else. How? The setting he set it on was the setting that detected anything wrong with the movement of time. It was a smart freaking watch. How did it save everything? How could it make time continue in an entire dimension? Well, it doesn't; it's Doctor Whooves who does that.
The light stopped from flashing; it just became a constant light. It then blinked off and, milliseconds later, Doctor Whooves went out of his trance and fell to the ground. "Ow!" he said while rubbing his head. He looked around and saw a bunch of ponies, standing still in place. "What the-" he suddenly remembered what happened. He looked hurried around and found his friends nearby each other, in the same situation as everypony else. He ran over to them and saw a panicked Derpy in the front of all of them. She had her head away, and was apparently afraid. He knew that Ares was still around. Doctor Whooves looked around for the giant god. To his surprise, there was no giant god around; only a small, normal-sized version of him where he was before the pulse went out. Doctor Whooves went up to him and circled around him. "Huh... For some reason, he became normal sized from that... Maybe we can take that to our advantage..."
He then shook off his ideas of defeating him and put on the ideas of how he would defeat him: By saving his friends. He went back to Derpy and looked at her. She, of course, still had her regular derp eyes. He then had to think about how to save her. He yelled, "Wake up!" No effect. He made a silly face. No effect. He then stared into her eyes- erm, eye. No effect. He was getting frustrated after 1 minute of it. He then went right up to her face and slapped her across the cheek.
She fell to the ground. She got up and said, "What happened? And why does my face hurt?" She looked around to see Doctor Whooves looking right at her. "Oh, hey. What happened, and why does my face hurt?"
The doctor replied, "Well, Ares did a time-stopping spell, and my watch saved me. And I saved you by slapping you across the face; that's why your face hurts."
Derpy went up to him and slapped him across the face just like he did to her. "That's for saving me."
Doctor Whooves said, "Wha-what? Why would you slap me for saving you?"
Derpy replied, "You know, mares are very complicated things."
The doctor replied, "That appears obvious!"
Derpy turned away and said, "I guess we should save the rest of our friends, huh?"
Doctor Whooves started walking towards Lyra and said, "Sure."
Many minutes and many explanations later, they had a group of 11 mares and a stallion again. "So..." Twilight Sparkle said. "What are we going to do? We surely can't save every single pony in this dimension."
Derpy quickly replied, "We'll figure that out later. Right now, since all of us are here, I think we should just kill that dumb Ares dude, since he's the antagonist to us, and he's absolutely defenseless right now."
Doctor Whooves added, "And he's normal sized now." He shifted to his left, where Ares stood there, motionless and tiny compared to his regular size. "I say we should just kill him now."
Derpy shrugged and said, "Might as well. Alright, let's get prepared. Same stuff as last time."
Derpy then did the same process as last time. "Now!" she said the second time. The Elements of Harmony's laser thing hit the already-glowing sword. It then had regular, light-like glow be replaced by a rainbow one. Derpy then leaped into the air and stabbed the sharp sword right into the heart of the frozen human. He looked down at his bleeding chest and yelled, "NOOOOO!"
He burst into light, causing it to go everywhere. It was so overwhelming that even the ground was too bright to look at. It increased its intensification, and it completely overwhelmed all of them, making them all go unconscious yet again.
Derpy woke up in Ponyville. She was surrounded by a bunch of ponies; they were all her friends. "Finally, you're up," said the purple unicorn. "We've been waiting for you to wake up so you can watch!"
Derpy rubbed her head and said, "Watch what?"
Twilight giggled and said, "The moon launching!"
Derpy sat up and said, "Moon launching? Somepony's going to the moon?"
Twilight said, "Well, not somePONY..."
"What?"
"Okay, this is what happened: We're back in our normal dimension, everything is normal, except for Ares being here. He was mortal, so we're punishing him by sending him to the moon."
"Um..." Derpy was confused. She was going to say something, but she was interrupted by a very loud voice all tthe way from Canterlot.
"Do you like bananas?"
Author's Note
Story's finally done! Yay! Now, in about a while, I'll type up the sequel soon. Just you wait.
Also, thanks to all of the people who enjoyed the story! It means a lot to me.
See y'all in my next story!
The Elements of Awesomeness
Act I- The Journey
The lights of the new dawn streaked across Twilight Sparkle’s face. She woke up tiredly to find she woke up an hour late.
She was panicking. Not today, not today. She ran around her house to find everything she needed. Then Spike woke up from all of the ruckus.
“What the heck is going on, Twilight? Are we getting robbed or something?”
Twilight said between breaths, “No, Spike! Remember that letter Princess Celestia sent last night? She said we need to be in Canterlot early in the morning! According to my calculations, that’s right now!”
Spike sighed. He just grilled up an omelet and drank some orange juice while Twilight ran around. Finally, Twilight was done… too bad the house was in pieces.
“Okay… let’s go.” Twilight said. Spike had already been ready for 15 minutes.
Twilight just teleported the both of them to Canterlot. Spike was confused.
“Why do you NEVER use that?”
Twilight was stumped. “I really don’t know.”
Spike sighed. “I thought not.”
Twilight realized they were right in front of Princess Celestia herself. “Oops! Um...”
Celestia giggled. “Not the best day to wake up late, is it?”
Twilight frowned. “No, today is probably the worst day.”
Celestia got a straight face. “Okay, today we learned that there has been a Changeling attack. This is serious business. In fact, the Elements of Harmony won’t be able to stop them. Queen Crysalis has grown ever too powerful.”
Twilight felt like her stomach had dropped to the ground. Is there going to be a way that they could defeat the Changelings? “So… how are we going to defeat them?” Did I just say my thought out loud?
Celestia put on a proud face. “There is only one way to defeat these accursed Changelings- we must bring in the other elements.”
Twilight had never heard of these “other elements” before. “What are these elements you’re talking about?” I just said my thought again!
Celestia now had on a sinister smile. Does she have a face for every emotion? “We need heroes who have no bound. We need heroes that are nearby. We need… the Elements of Awesomeness.”
Twilight face-hoofed herself. We’re doomed.
“Are you serious?!” Twilight exclaimed.
“Yes, I am serious.” replied Princess Celestia. “In fact, they are all right in Ponyville. But remember: They are the last ponies you would expect to save the world. Also, so I don’t have to tell you later, you must go to a place outside of Equestria. Don’t ask me where to go; I don’t even know where it is. Just let fate and destiny meet. And to find your ponies, do a simple walk through Ponyville. You will find your ponies then. They are not Changelings.”
Twilight understood all of this, and accepted it for some reason, but decided to push it to her limits: “And what if I don’t accept?”
Celestia smiled sinisterly again. “Then I have a question for you: Do you like bananas?”
Spike spoke up for the first time in a while. “Ooh! I love bananas!”
Oh no, thought Twilight. She teleported out of the palace before they were sent to the moon, and missed. When they were on the outskirts of Ponyville, Spike asked, “Why did you that? I wanted a banana!”
Twilight sighed and started her quest. As she walked through Ponyville, she noticed that it near barren. There was no pony around. She still continued to walk through Ponyville. When she was nearing mid-town, she noticed 2 ponies walking together also in mid-town. She waved and yelled to them. “Hello there!” Twilight yelled. She realized that she didn’t think before she spoke; luckily, these weren’t Changelings.
There were Vinyl “DJ-PON3” Scratch, the famous Equestrian DJ, and Octavia, the famous Equestrian cello player. “Yo, what’s up, Twilight!” exclaimed Vinyl. They walked up to each other. Vinyl continued, “What’s up with this place? We’re like the only ones in this entire town.”
Octavia said, “I know. Vinyl and I have been walking around town the whole day, and you’re the first other pony we’ve found.”
Twilight replied, “Spike and I have been told been by Princess Celestia that there has been an attack by Changelings around Equestria. She said I needed to find some new ponies as elements. She said they were around town. I think you two are elements.”
Vinyl giggled. “What would mine be? Would I be the Element of Dubstep?”
Octavia thought for a moment. “I suppose I would possibly be the Element of Music.”
Twilight said, “It doesn’t matter what your element is. It’s just that you are one.”
Vinyl thought of something. “What if the ‘Princess Celestia’ is actually a disguised Chrysalis, and she gave you fake information?”
Octavia replied, “Then that means we’re Changelings. I don’t believe that’s true.”
“But what if we are?”
Octavia just gave “the look” and Vinyl stopped.
Twilight said, “Well, do you want to come with Spike and I? We’re going to continue to find the other elements.”
Both Vinyl and Octavia nodded almost simultaneously. So, the ponies joined the quest. 2 out of 6 done. Hopefully this will end faster than expected.
As the 4 of them walked through the seemingly ghost town named Ponyville, they felt like a more powerful force was watching over them. Not Princess Celestia, not Princess Luna. Something of higher power. It was a creepy presence.
Anyway, as the small group continued through town. It was deathly quiet, so Twilight tried to pick up some kind of conversation: “So… when did you realize that you were the last ponies in Ponyville?”
Octavia replied, “This morning. We woke up to realize that the town was deserted.”
Vinyl continued, “We noticed for the last few days that the population was going down, also.”
Twilight realized that she realized this also. If this is a Changeling attack, then why is the population going down? Shouldn’t the Changelings disguise themselves as a pony?
Twilight said, “This is strange, I admit.”
Octavia and Vinyl nodded.
Twilight tried to continue more. “So, um… how has-“
She was interrupted when a Pegasus fell from the sky in front of all of them. It was none other than Derpy Hooves, the pony famous for being a Klutz and being Derpy. This meant both her eyes and her personality. How she acted seems like an emotion it itself.
“Hey guys! Sorry I had to drop in!” said Derpy.
“Hello, Derpy…” said everyone in different ways, not mentioning the pun, even though it was horrible. They just didn’t want to hurt her feelings.
“I’ve been flying around town Ponyville for a while, and I found you! Strange what’s happening, huh?”
Twilight replied, “Princess Celestia said it was a Changeling attack, even though I’m convinced it isn’t. There is no proof of any of any Changelings, and they should be being us, not getting rid of us.”
Vinyl said, “I still like my theory.” Octavia face-hoofed herself.
Twilight continued, “I am supposed to find these new elements around Ponyville. Would you like to accompany us?”
Derpy gladly replied, “Sure!”
There is no way Derpy is an element, thought Twilight. There is no element that she could be, unless there’s an element for being a Klutz.
As the small band continued on through town, it felt creepier. It felt even more silent, even though there’s only one kind of silent. The sun felt weak like the moon. Twilight just realized something: It hasn’t been moving. Oh no, something bad must have happened to Princess Celestia.
As they continued on, they heard 3 ponies coming around the corner. Everyone except Twilight, and Spike considering he was riding on her back, yielded, thinking it was a Changeling. Twilight had pretty much debunked Princess Celestia’s theory. Why would she lie? Or was she wrong? Or was she guarding us from the facts? Or was she giving us hopes that we could defeat this foe, because we would give up if we knew how powerful it really was? As the thoughts bounced around in Twilight’s scrambled head, she bumped into one of the 3 ponies from around the corner.
Twilight bumped into Lyra Heartstrings, and her companions were Bon-bon and Dr. Whooves, 2 other “background ponies.” Lyra played a Lyre, and wasn’t as famous as Vinyl or Octavia, but was still very good. Bon-bon is a voice actor… that’s pretty much it. Dr. Whooves is special; he apparently came from a completely different world, and his name is based off of some famous movie or something from that world. He also apparently time-travels. Even though there is no proof of this ANYWHERE, that world claims that it’s a fact. Weird, huh? It’s probably because of his hourglass cutie mark. Fine, I’ll stop my random babbling.
“Oh, hello,” said Lyra. “Fancy meeting you on such a beautiful occasion.”
Twilight rolled her eyes. “I know, right? It’s just great that almost everypony in Ponyville is suddenly gone, huh?”
Dr. Whooves spoke up in his strange accent that humans could recognize as British. “Yes, this is quite a strange… what is it now? Is there really anything that could describe this? I’ll just call it an-“
Vinyl interrupted, “-apocalypse!”
Octavia just wanted to slap Vinyl in the face so hard at that point. Dr. Whooves continued, “I’ll just call it an “occasion”, since that really best suits it.”
Bon-bon spoke up, “So, um, why are you all walking around Ponyville? Are you trying to find other ponies?”
Twilight had to explain the situation another time, but this time she put in her two cents about it. “I think Princess Celestia explained to Spike and I that it was Changelings, but they it really isn’t because we would give up if we knew that our opponent was actually much harder to defeat.”
Vinyl was about to speak up about her theory, but Octavia apparently snapped a nerve and gave her “the look” again, making Vinyl stay quiet.
Twilight continued, “As I explained, we need to find the new elements in Ponyville. I’m assuming it refers to you all, since, excluding Spike and I, there’s 6 in the group, so you are all the new elements.”
Derpy yelled, “Woohoo! I’m going to save the world! Yeah!”
Octavia asked Twilight, “And what kind of element is this group? I know you are one of the Elements of Harmony, so we’re the “Elements of” what?”
Twilight answered with a groan, “You’re apparently the “Elements of Awesomeness”, according to Princess Celestia.”
Vinyl nodded and said, “Seems accurate.”
Dr. Whooves said, “’Awesomeness’? You said that it is more powerful than the Elements of Harmony? That doesn’t seem probable, now does it?”
Twilight replied, “That’s what the Princess said. I don’t believe it; maybe it isn’t necklaces and a weird crown thing, but something different. Something more powerful, possibly.”
Bon-bon continued with the questions, “What will our elements be?”
Twilight answered, “I don’t know. You all seem like the toughest ponies to give a specific element to.”
This was, thankfully, the last of the plethora of questions was there. Twilight was relieved to stop talking.
As they reached the outskirts of Ponyville, Twilight saw her house there. (If I’m wrong, sorry, I don’t have an atlas of Ponyville right in front of me.) She knew what had to be done. She let Spike off of her back and explained, “Spike. I am leaving Ponyville with the rest of the group. Stay at home. Do not open the door for ANYPONY. If you see me, it might not be me; it might be a Changeling, if that’s really the problem around here. If I come here with the whole group, there’s a high chance that really is me and them. Please, just stay safe.”
Spike had tears in his eyes; that was fast. He hugged her and said, “I don’t want you to go. But if I must stay here, I will. Please, you stay safe also.”
Twilight smiled and said, “I will.”
Spike went inside and didn’t come out. After Twilight was sure he was going to stay in, she said, “Ok, everypony. Let’s go save Equestria!”
“Woohoo!” yelled Derpy.
“Let’s do this!” yelled Lyra.
“Yeah!” yelled Bon-bon.
“Heck yeah!” yelled Vinyl.
“Yes!” yelled Octavia.
“Cheerio!” yelled Dr. Whooves.
And so began the quest to save Equestria by these ponies. This is not a very sturdy group, huh? I would be surprised if they can manage to make a grilled cheese together, much less save Equestria.
So, they began walking on their long journey to the end of Equestria to find their mystery surprise of awesomeness. There really isn’t much to talk about; all that they did was walk for a long time in a single direction. There were no animals. No other ponies. And it was still deathly quiet. The sun was still absent of movement.
During their journey, they popped up random questions about everyday life and personal life. Nothing of interest. However, Twilight did make a journal. It was supposed to be daily, but there was only one day because the sun never went up or down. Here it is:
Day 1 Time: 53:34 (Yes, you just read that right.)
The group and I are traveling to the edge of Equestria to find these new elements. We have been traveling in a straight direction for what would be multiple days, if the sun would actually go down. I’m not even sure if this is the correct direction. My gut says yes, my heart says yes, but my brain is still not sure. I hope this is going to be worth it. If not, I think we’re all doomed. Also, I hope that these new elements are more powerful than the Elements of Harmony. If Princess Celestia lied, we’re all doomed. Wait, I just said… erm, wrote that. Whatever, that still will happen; it’s true.
…There’s nothing else to write about. That’s it… this is so boring.
And that’s the end of it. Abrupt ending, isn’t it?
After 1 day of walking, the finally reached the edge of Equestria. It was a frozen ice land. Glaciers and frozen mountains everywhere. A blizzard was pouring down on the land. This must be where Pegasi don’t control weather, but it just controls itself. It was freezing. In fact, it was so cold, when Derpy sneezed, there was frozen horizontal snot attached to her nose. Dr. Whooves had to force it off by pulling it.
They went up to what seemed to be a frozen doorway. It was a light-blue arch with a perfectly straight line right down the middle, signifying that it truly was a double-door. As they were expecting the door to magically open somehow, Lyra noticed a small robot-like eye coming from a square hole in the wall look at the 7 of them. “Look!” she pointed out.
As the rest of the group moved their heads to look at the… thing, it quickly retreated back into its small hole and the hole closed with a layer of ice to cover it. “What?” asked Twilight.
Lyra was annoyed. “Every time!” she yelled. “Every time something cool happens, it has to disappear, so I’m the only one who was able to see it. What if it was a human?”
Bon-bon has always dealt with Lyra’s ramblings about this non-existent species. “Do you still believe in those things? They don’t exist!”
Lyra replied angrily, “They DO exist! With their…” she lifted up her two front hooves in front of her face and continued, “hands…” she hissed.
Pretty much everypony had face-hoofed themself that time, including Derpy.
As the arguments continued, Derpy had gotten bored and looked around. She noticed that the robot eye was back in its spot. She just walked up to it and said, “Hello, mister robot eye.”
The eye just looked at Derpy and tried to look her in the eyes… but failed. It apparently got confused, and exploded. “Aww…”
The giant door then rumbled then slowed opened inward. The arguing ponies shut their mouths and stared at the sky blue door opening. Once the door stopped moving and stayed like that, Twilight broke their silence by saying, “Well, I guess that’s our queue.”
As they walked inside, they felt the cold going away and being replaced with nice warmth. Dr. Whooves noted this by saying, “Strange, is it just me or is it getting warmer?”
Before any of them could reply, a strange figure went up to the group. It appeared to be a hooded pony, similar to the figure of Zecora in her hood. As the group readied to fight this mysterious pony, it raised its hooves to show it means no harm. When the group went out of their fighting poses, it spoke. “Welcome, heroes! This is the Hall of the Heroes. I assume you realize that your land is losing all of its inhabitants. This is because an angry, forgotten god is returning to destroy the land. He was the god of war in the ancient religion. But enough of the backstory; if you want to defeat this foe, you must have the strongest weapons: The Elements of Awesomeness. Unlike the Elements of Harmony, these are much stronger and less girly. Anyway, before I ramble off into the sunset, let us go on.” It waved in the direction the group was heading anyway.
As all 8 of them on through the hallway, they saw pony mannequins all over the place. Strange…
“Oops!” the strange pony said. “I just remembered I’m not supposed to help you from now on, until you finish. So… bye!” He threw down a smoke bomb and disappeared in the dense mist of gray.
“Weirdo,” said Bon-bon.
“I know,” continued Lyra.
“Whatever,” said Twilight. “He doesn’t matter right now. What does matter is continuing on to find these things that he was talking about.”
They all nodded and continued on to find a door of regular size. They opened it and saw that inside was a beautiful meadow. There were no animals around, but the trees were too pretty to have them realize it. As they walked through, they heard a loud sound off in the distance, like a spring getting unpressurized. “That did not sound good,” said Octavia.
They heard another even closer. And another even more close. Then one right behind them. They turned around to see one of the mannequins behind them, staked under it by a wooden stick.
Vinyl seemed to overreact. “Is that it? Is this really it? All that we have to do beat these up? Easy!” She then tried to roundhouse kick it, but it was as tough as steel. She was going to apparently say something, but it was block by the pain.
“That obviously isn’t the preferred method of combat,” said Octavia.
Despite the pain, Vinyl managed to say words. “No, really?”
Twilight went up to the mannequin and investigated it. Made of solid steel, magic-proof, and unable to be lifted off the ground by a Pegasus. I can’t seem to find a method of attacking. Maybe…
“Show yourself, you coward!” Twilight yelled.
The strange pony appeared out of smoke, similar to how it left. He said, “Hey! I am not a coward! I’m just doing my job.”
“Then why are you sending up mannequins that we aren’t able to defeat?”
“But you have…” he paused for a moment. “Darn it! I knew I forgot something! Here, take this.” He handed her a sword that he got from his pocket, even though it shouldn’t have fit inside it.
Twilight was stunned. “Why would you give me this? It’s a sword! It could chop off some pony’s head!”
The strange pony was apparently stretched for time. “I have no time to explain. Just give it to the leader if the group,” Twilight raised a hoof. “And before you ask who it is,” Twilight put it back down. He continued, “Just give it to all of them. Only the leader is able to use its powers to defeat the mannequins. Well, bye.” He disappeared in smoke again.
When Twilight was done wondering about this strange creature, she looked at the sword. This is pretty sharp… As she was about to raise it to look at it more closely, it slipped out of her hooves and headed straight for her other leg. (I know, she is supposed to be holding it with two hooves, but I need something.) Before she could react and pull it away, she knew that she was going to get sliced. She was going to flinch, but she wanted to see it for some reason. Milliseconds before it was going to hit her, a barrier surrounded the sword and protected it from smiting her, even though it still hurt, hitting her right on the kneecap. She made the same pain noise that Vinyl made earlier. She then picked back up and made sure she didn’t drop it this time.
She then went up to the group who was still arguing about a topic that seemed to make no sense. “The price of tea in China is too damn high!” said Lyra.
“What the heck is a China?” asked Bon-bon.
“A place full of… humans…” she hissed.
Twilight snapped one of her few nerves. She said through her clenched teeth, “Okay. I got this sword from the strange pony. One of you is the leader and is able to defeat the mannequins. All of you try; I don’t know who it is.”
So, condensing down into a single paragraph because this is useless and I’m lazy, here it is: Bon-bon, Lyra, Dr. Whooves, Octavia, and Vinyl all tried to use the sword on the mannequin, but failed. There was one left: Derpy. Not her; please, anypony but her. But she had no choice. Twilight reluctantly gave the sword to Derpy. It immediately lit up with extraordinary light.
“Ooh… pretty!” Derpy said.
Yep. I knew it. She is the leader. She snapped her second nerve silently.
“Now go attack that mannequin,” said Twilight. It took Derpy a moment because she was still staring at the glowing sword. But after she was snapped from her trance, she swung the sword right down the middle of the head, making the head split and fall in both directions. Everypony was awe-struck.
“That was… um… powerful, Derpy,” Dr. Whooves reacted.
“Woohoo!” Derpy exclaimed, “I did something good!”
“I’m not saying you did anything wrong,” Twilight said, “But now’s not the time to celebrate.” She looked around to the several other mannequins still staked around them. “Our job is not done yet.”
Derpy ran around the meadow-room, slicing and dicing every mannequin to shreds. Over time, she gained more grace and style when swinging, showing that she was mastering using the sword. When she got to the last mannequin, she attacked so fast and gracefully, it was in many pieces in only a few seconds, the same time as every other attack. It its remains, there was a key. Twilight picked it up. “That’s our queue... again.” She looked around and found a door. She opened it and walked inside, along with everypony else.
It was a plain room. It was a cube made of steel plates. There were air vents so they wouldn’t suffocate, a window on ground level with a door lead into it, and a window with that weird pony staring at them. Oh yeah, and a speaker in a ceiling corner.
“You appear to have mastered the sword,” said the weird pony. “Good. Now, all of the other ponies must master their elements.” He pulled out a list. “First is… the element of wubs.”
“That is obviously me,” said Vinyl. She went up and asked, “So, what do I have to destroy?”
The weirdo continued, “Everyone else go through the door.” He pointed to the door leading to the room. “You can view her from there.” After every pony went in, he disappeared again in smoke and reappeared on the ground. How does he do that?
He had a watch in his hand. “You know how the Elements of Harmony have necklaces and a weird crown-thing?” Everypony nodded. “Well, we have wrist watches and a sword.” He strapped on the watch and explained how to use it. “Press this button to use your portable bass cannon, press this one to make a Dubstep remix of anything, and press this one to pull out your sound system.” Vinyl didn’t know how to react to this. It was too awesome. He continued, “You must destroy these mannequins using any method you prefer, blah blah blah… I hate all of these lines I’m supposed to say. Just destroy these dumb mannequins and you win. Whatever.”
Vinyl destroyed the mannequins using the bass cannon, and then had Dubstep as the finale music. Whatever, I’m really lazy and getting bored, but there are a couple parts I still want to do. Then this happened for everypony else. Dr. Whooves is the Element of Time, and his watch can slow down time, speed it up, or just plain stop it. Bon-bon is the Element of Voices, and her watch allows her to instantly change her voice. This is pretty much near-useless.
Lyra went up as the Element of… Sitting? Really? Sigh… well, this is my only option, I guess.
“The Element of Sitting?!” Lyra yelled, “I am the Element of Sitting?! I sit down in a funky fashion for 10 seconds flat, and now it’s my element?! I couldn’t be the Element of Philosophy, or Imagination, or Humans, or something? What the heck!” Maybe she should have been the Element of Caps Lock…
The strange pony went up to Lyra and slapped her across the face. “It doesn’t matter what your element is! It just matters that you are one!”
Lyra felt embarrassed. “I’m sorry… I really overreacted…”
The strange pony sighed. “I don’t blame you. This is a dumb element. And also useless. But, this watch is not useless.” He gave her the watch. “Press the button.”
When she pressed it, a small object seemed to take particles of space and create a small, rectangular prism cut into four pieces, but attached. “And what is this? I have a useless element, and I going to have a useless ability also?”
Weirdo smiled. “Press the button again.”
Lyra rolled her eyes and pressed the button for a second time. The rectangle thing then started transforming. It split apart into 4 directions, but was still attached. Short ways, it curved into 2 u-shapes, both in the same direction. Then 4 strings connected between the two u’s. What was created was a perfect lyre. Lyra didn’t know how to react, just like everypony else. She strummed a note, and it created a visual note that hit the wall.
Before any questions were asked, Sir Weirdo the First of Equestria said, “That is supposed to happen. It is a powerful musical force that can cause high amounts of damage to any entity. The damage is higher if the note is more graceful.”
So, Lyra trained and stuff. I’m still pretty lazy.
Octavia went up as the Element of Music. She got a watch with a single button. “What does this do?” Octavia asked.
The strange pony answered, “It gives you a cello similar to Lyra’s lyre, but it doesn’t have as powerful music attack, but you get it already set up, unlike the lyre. And, like the lyre, it creates visual notes that damage depending on gracefulness”
Before Octavia could ask question number two, he strapped on the watch and pressed the button. Similar to the lyre, the cello appeared from nowhere. But this time, it was already set up, like Mister Weirdo said. Octavia tried strumming beautiful notes, and she did, but when it hit a mannequin, it seemed to do very little damage to it. “This is useless!” she yelled. She looked at the cello, then at the mannequin, then back. Then, in a quick, swift movement, she raised the cello above her head then slammed the cello on the mannequin’s head, instantly destroying both the head and the cello. She pressed the button again and got the cello back.
Weirdo (that’s his name, okay? Deal with it) was scared and curious. “I… um… don’t agree with your methods… but I guess they work.” He then walked away from the glass so he was no longer visible to the group.
Octavia walked out with a smirk on her face. Vinyl was the first to run up to her. “Dang, Tavi, I can’t believe you that in you! How do you keep in your anger?”
Octavia was still smiling. “That’s my trick: I’m always angry.” (Avengers reference!)
So, with all of their elements, they walked on to another room. Except one. Her name was Twilight Sparkle. As everypony else was walking into the next room, Derpy looked back to see her. When Derpy turned back, the rest of the pack also turned back. Derpy asked, “Why aren’t you coming with us?”
Twilight apparently snapped the third and final nerve earlier. “You’re all crazy! We are doomed! We have these enemies that may or may not be Changelings, we’ve lost almost every pony to these unknown enemies, but meanwhile, you all are having fun instead of being serious!”
Dr. Whooves said, “But Twilight-“
“No.” Twilight cut off. “We’re doomed, and I’m not going to be deemed responsible for it. I’m leaving. I’m going to take my chances against this enemy. Goodbye.” She walked through the door on the way back, and the next, then the next, then through the last door, and into the blizzard. The group was watching her the whole time.
“Who shoved a bee up her flank?” asked Vinyl.
“Really; what has gotten into her?” asked Octavia.
Then there was silence for a while.
“…she’s going to die, isn’t she?” asked Lyra.
“I assume so,” said Bon-bon.
“I hope nothing bad happens to her,” said Dr. Whooves. “She may be annoyed, but she doesn’t deserve anything bad to happen.”
“She left us. She left when we needed her most. She deserves a bad fate,” said… Derpy? Really? The sword must have gone to her head. Also, the other ponies were just awe-struck by this.
“D-did you just say that, Derpy?” asked Octavia.
“Yes. This is a war, not a battle. Casualties are required. This is required. If she left, so be it.” She spoke in a straight tone, unlike her normal self. Was there an invisible Discord hidden somewhere around there? Everypony just dealt with this strange Derpy and continued on to the next room. It was exactly like the other room. I mean, literally. They went on to the next room. Same thing. Next room. Again. When they looked back, it seemed as if they only passed to the next room instead of three. “He must be using some illusion… or, Pinkie Pie is around here and she’s using her gypsy magic on us.” They could almost hear her “Hey!” somewhere off in the distance.
“It doesn’t matter what or who is causing this,” said the “new” Derpy. “What does matter is how we’re going to stop this.” She paused for a moment. “Let’s do an experiment. Only one of us should go through the door, and everypony else looks at the exit door to see what happens.”
“Brilliant idea!” said Dr. Whooves. “This question may be a bit personal… but, why are you so different right now, Derpy?”
Derpy smiled. “This is the real me. That other version of me is the fun-loving, careless version of me. This is war. There is no time to waste.”
Bon-bon asked, “Then… why did you suddenly have a change of heart? You can’t just instantly change your personality like that.”
Derpy’s smile was wiped away. She sighed. “I have never told this story to anypony… except Twilight… but this may be the end of the world, and I also trust you all, so I guess I will tell my tale.”
(I don’t have any good transition, so I guess I will just say *enter thought bubble*) Also note that this story is being told by Derpy.
I was born in Canterlot. Strange, how I, Derpy Hooves, the fun-loving, crazy mare, was born in Canterlot, the city of majesty and property. That may explain future events. My parents, whom have names I know not of, loved me with their dearest hearts. Then, as a little filly, before I went to school, I had an “accident”, but I do not know what it is. I apparently had a concussion and was knocked out for multiple days.
From this point, I actually remember things. I woke up in the Canterlot hospital, lying in a bed with the best technology and doctors available making sure I don’t pass on. When I woke up, the first I saw were my parents, who were slightly sobbing. I smiled at them, and they apparently noticed me, but then… they started crying harder. I didn’t know what happened to me, or why they would they would cry harder. I looked at the doctors, and they looked at me with disgust.
I looked around for a mirror. When I found one, I looked at my face. I realized why that was their reaction. My eyes… were… what they are now. They were uneven… they were derp. I realized that they were messed up, but for some reason, my eyesight was still perfect. I couldn’t explain it. I knew I would never be normal again. I looked back to my mother. She was still crying. I felt tears coming to my eyes, also.
“I’m sorry, honey,” she said. “I’m… sorry…”
Then came in the last pony expected. It was Princess Celestia. I thought I should be happy; I realized I shouldn’t. “I’m here,” she said.
One of the doctors said with a sob, “Here she is. Take her.”
Then Princess Celestia took me by the hooves and dragged me out of the room. I was screaming, “Mommy! Daddy! Please help me!” I was crying harder than I ever had before.
When I was far out from the hospital, Princess Celestia spoke to me. “They are expecting to “get rid” of you. I am, but not in the way you think. I want you to leave. Fly, run, do whatever just to get away from here. The place I say you should go is Ponyville. You will be accepted there. Make sure no pony sees you. Go; I will claim your death. Now go, now!”
I knew she was right, and I knew my fate, so I ran. I would have flown, but my wings weren’t fully matured yet. I went down the mountain slowly. I ended up by Ponyville, but it was the middle of the night. I walked around town until I found a nice building to sleep against, and let my eyes close.
I woke up next morning with a pink pony leaning over me. She said, “Morning, lazy face!”
I got up and scratched my head and lied up to see that it was morning. I was still frowning from the night before. I was sore and tired still from last night. The pink pony pulled me up because I was moving so slowly. “Come on, slow poke! Come on where’s your parents- um…”
I began crying because of the reference to my parents. I missed them.
The pink pony tried her best to stop me from crying. “No, no, please, please don’t cry. Please stop. No, no, no, please stop.” I knew she was trying her best to make me stop, so I turned my crying into silent sobs. She was apparently thankful. “Thank you. I’m Pinkie Pie. What’s your name?”
I built up the energy to spit out, “Ditzy Doo.”
Pinkie Pie thought for a moment. “Ditzy Doo… Ditzy… are you new to town?” I nodded. “Ooh! Great! I’m going to throw you a party, and introduce you to all the other ponies in town, and…” She continued on with other random stuff. I’m not sure if she didn’t speak about my eyes because she didn’t notice them or she was being nice.
While I was thinking to myself, she apparently stopped talking and grabbed me and dragged me around town. I met every pony: Twilight, Applejack, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, Rarity, and others, including all of you. Before talking to me, she whispered to all of the ponies I was introduced to. She probably talked about my eyes, considering none talked about my eyes, though they stared at them.
Then, Pinkie Pie threw me a party, and every pony came. It was fun, but it just felt strange for reasons I couldn’t, and can’t, explain. At the party, I got my cutie mark. I think it was because Pinkie said I had a “bubbly personality”. When the party was over, I needed a place to stay. Twilight offered her place, so I accepted. I stayed there for a while. We talked, and we eventually came to trust each other. Eventually… she asked the question. I knew I could trust her, so I told her everything. She was sincere, and comforted me because I was crying while I told the story.
Eventually, I got a job as mail-pony. I got enough money to get my own house, so I got one and moved out. It was a big step in my life. Also, my friends, especially Pinkie Pie, gave me a nickname: Derpy Hooves. I actually chose to have that as my legal name, because I didn’t want to have any kind of relationship to my “parents”. I gave birth to Dinky, I got a promotion, and other stuff happened. But, I never actually became that crazy, fun-loving pony everypony thinks I am. I pretended to be, and apparently I did well, but I have kept my anger and secrets in for a long time. Now, this is the perfect time to unleash it; it will be for the good of us. But trust me: I have been through stuff you can’t imagine. I grew up in the Orphan School of Tough Learning.
*exit thought bubble*
Everypony showed their emotions: They all obviously had a tear in their eye, a lump in their throat, or a tear on their cheek. Derpy had no emotion on the outside, but was rolling in pain on the inside. She may be tough, but this story is painful. It causes not only mental, but also physical pain.
They heard the weird dude’s voice off in the distance. “Come on! I created this easily solvable test for you all, but you decide to have tea time!”
They were all annoyed by his lack of symphony, but they weren’t even sure if listened to any part of the story.
They decided to move on to the next room without discussion. This time, there was no illusion, just a giant mannequin. He spoke again, “You must use your ultimate attack to defeat this giant mannequin. It’s like the Elements of Harmony’s harmony laser thing, but this one uses watches and a sword. I’m not going to give you any instructions; you will be able to figure it out yourselves.”
Derpy said, “I want you all to focus on my sword. Then, concentrate the energy of your watches on the ruby near the hilt.” She had a strange amount of experience.
They did her commands; the laser-things hit the ruby and caused it to glow even brighter. Then, raising the blade above her head, she swung the sword right at the neck of the mannequin, causing not just the head to be cut off first, but also making it EXPLODE. Yes.
Apparently, Weirdo was amazed by this. “Wow… I did not know it had THAT much power!” He opened the next door using technology; in the room, there was no door on the other end. Yay, this chapter will end soon! Anyway, the group walked into the room, and they found Weirdo, standing alone. “Congratulations!” he said, “You have passed the tests! You are now officially ready to save Equestria! We can talk, or you can leave now. It’s your choice.”
Everypony said they want to leave… except one. No, not Derpy. Lyra. She was curious about Weirdo. “You… I know you’re not actually a pony.”
He took off his cloak for the first time reluctantly. He was white with golden hair. He had a strange staff as a cutie mark. “What are you talking about? I’m a pony like you.”
“No. I can tell you’re not officially a pony. You have a strange speech pattern and you also were very reluctant to take off that cloak. And, now that I look at your cutie mark, I know exactly who and what you are.” So-called Weirdo was obviously nervous. “You are Hermes, the human’s Greek messenger God.”
Hermes was surprised by this statement. “You’re… right…” His voice trailed off.
Lyra was happy. “See, Bon-bon? I told you learning about humans would pay off!” Bon-bon sighed.
Hermes continued, “You are apparently smart enough to know the special knowledge I’ve occurred, I’ll tell you this: You are fighting Ares, our God of War. He is a god. Do not underestimate him. This is all can say. Good-bye.” He disappeared in smoke again. This time, for good.
“This is a god we’re fighting,” Dr. Whooves said. “How shall we beat an immortal?”
Even Derpy was stumped. “I… I don’t know…”
Octavia said, “Well, we’ll learn later. It’s time we return to Ponyville.”
Everypony nodded. It was time to leave.
While they prepared to go, there was something else important going on.
*epic transition*
On the way back to Ponyville, Twilight did a lot of thinking. She thought about the group. She thought about the Elements of Awesomeness. She thought about their enemy. But, most of all, she thought about how the group was handling this. She overreacted. They weren’t doomed; they had hope. She thought that a group needed much order. But now, she realized that a group doesn’t need any order. There is not too much or too little. And they were not complete idiots. Derpy is a bit-um, different, but not an idiot. There was hope. She was the one that was leading to no hope.
Before she knew it, she was at Ponyville. She went straight to her house. She knocked on the door. “Hey Spike? I’m home. I’m not with the group, but…” Her voice trailed off. No respond.
I knew that dragon would never listen. “SPIKE! NO JOKES!” she yelled. Still no respond. She sighed. She went inside and lay in bed. I hope nothing bad happened to him. He usually listens. She then went to sleep, despite the sunlight streaking across her face.
No, she didn’t have a dream. But, she did wake up. She didn’t know why, but she had the sudden urge to go outside. She decided that her conscience is usually right, so she went outside. She looked towards the horizon. She felt something.
Over the horizon, a giant being came rising above it. It was enormous. It had the strength to destroy the world. Twilight was supposed to be scared; she wasn’t. She felt unnatural courage coming. But she knew her fate. Shoot me, fate. Hit me with your best shot. You may hit me, but even your steadiest shot will never hit them. They will overcome you. Don’t try to deny it; it shall happen. Now take your shot.
And that was Twilight’s last thought.
