Her Most Faithful Servant

Dear Princess Celestia

I’m not sure how to talk about today’s lesson, to be honest. When I woke up this morning, I didn’t even want to get out of bed. I felt… dead. Something felt wrong with the world, but I couldn’t put my finger on it. I decided to resign myself to my room for the day. In some way, it felt like I belonged there, hiding away from the world. Away from where I could ruin something or everything. I felt sad, but there wasn’t something to feel sad about. I laid there, trying to figure out what was going on in my head, but I couldn’t. I really didn’t have anything that was making me sad, which confused and angered me. How could I not know what was wrong?! Then I beat myself up and made myself sad for being so stupid. And so the spiral continued. So, it was a weird cycle of anger and depression that looped in on each other.

About an hour after our lesson was supposed to start, I heard a knock at my door. You asked if I was alright. I replied. ‘I guess.’ Which apparently you took as. ‘No, I’m not okay. Please come inside and talk to me.’

Which, in hindsight, thank you for that.

You sat on the bed beside me, gently caressed my cheek, and asked what was wrong. I explained that I had no idea. I couldn’t quite place it. You asked if anything that had happened yesterday left me uncomfortable. I instantly replied no. I’d had a great time yesterday. I went to bed feeling great!

“It must be drop,” you said gently, as if to yourself.

I asked you to explain, and we began today’s impromptu lesson. A ‘drop’ is a very normal, large hormonal discharge after a scene. When a sub or a dom goes through drop they find themselves feeling sad, anxious, or stressed, often for reasons they can't explain. In fact, it may be difficult for them to work out that they are experiencing drop in the first place. A sub that is in drop may feel powerless or helpless. This is where aftercare is important. It's the dom's job to ensure that the sub is feeling confident and safe. It might not stop the drop from happening, but it can help how harsh it is and how long it lasts.

On the other side, the dom can feel drop as well. They can feel as if they are overwhelmed by stress or have the weight of the world on their shoulders. This seemed odd to me at first, but it makes sense. And here I was, bundled in a blanket burrito of sadness, experiencing my own sub-drop. I could easily see the roles being flipped around for a dom, having to be in control all the time.

In short, these are normal, but can be remedied with time. The first step is constant communication after a scene. In fact, I’m finding that communication is the biggest piece of this whole puzzle of BDSM. Not just directly after a scene, but an hour after. The next morning. The next day. It's important to know the other party well and keep the conversation flowing. Trust is a major factor of all of this. Every person, well, I suppose pony for this world, has to figure out their own means of dealing with drop. Most of the time, it involves indulging yourself for the day and doing things that make you happy, or just putting yourself in a situation where you feel safe.

I finally feel like I'm beginning to get a handle on some of this stuff. I finding myself feeling stronger every day. In fact, today at dinner, after my drop had worn off, I caught you baiting me to volunteer to do some paperwork for you. I threw it back into your court pretty easily and played the entire situation coolly, saying that you knew it wasn’t my job and that only you could really do it all correctly. That was when you pointed out that I had been in topspace during the entire meal and I hadn’t even noticed.

I’m having fun setting out bait for some of the maids and guards to take, and I love finding tiny little ways of manipulating them. It's downright fun. I still need to work on the constant awareness of what subtle reactions I show, though. It bothers me that I might still have some tells that I can’t control. I’m sure I’ll have this down in no time though. I’ve been able to get everything down correctly so far.

Your Faithful Student,
Anon