Her Most Faithful Servant

Dear Princess Celestia

Well, I was wrong.

Today, I learned that I had a bit of a misconception regarding aftercare. I thought that aftercare was more of therapeutic process, in the sense that you are aiming to fix problems and bring the opposing party out of a bad headspace. Well, I was wrong. This was made apparent to me during today's lesson on afterglow.

Afterglow is that feeling you get when you experience something so magical that everything is awesome afterwards. The world is a fantastic place to be in and not a single thing could possibly bring you down. It’s a warm fuzziness that just envelops your body and makes you feel on top of the world. This is relevant to aftercare because, if the other party is experiencing afterglow, there isn't anything to 'fix.' But aftercare can still be needed to help protect that moment of afterglow, or even extend and enhance it.

In this sense, there doesn’t have to be anything wrong in order for there to be aftercare. It's about reassuring the sub that they are safe and comfortable. Complimenting them and assuring them everything is alright, and they are in good hooves are just a few small parts of the process. Which is very similar to the process I wrote about before, but it's under a different light. Instead of being a tool made to fix something, the dom acts as a therapeutic shield. Almost like one of those warm, damp towels you get to wash your face with at a salon. It's all about comfort and safety and wellbeing.

I’m not sure if there’s a better way for me to explain what afterglow is, so I’ll use the example that I suggested in our lesson. It’s like when you get off and you just float on air. Nothing else matters. You close your eyes and just let go of the world for a moment. With someone else beside you, performing aftercare, that entire process feels protected, and you don’t worry about little things like “How long have I been laying here?” or “Oh god, I better wipe that off before it dries.” You just relax and lose yourself to the sensation because someone else is taking care of you.

I'm a little embarrassed that I had such a skewed view on aftercare, but I'm sure it would have been corrected eventually. The important factors to remember are to hold and caress the sub, use calm and gentle words, and ensure what you say is personal; just like every other step of the process. You also told me that pets and scratches behind the ear are really nice too, at least for you.

In that sense, I have something I very much need to work on. Panicking. I'm a perfectionist. Anyone who knows me would agree. If I make the slightest mistake, I curse myself, stutter, apologize profusely, then come back with a vengeance. As a dom, this would be unacceptable and would ruin many a scene.

So, the lesson that I need to learn is that: Mistakes happen.

I know, it sounds basic, but hear me out. Things are going to happen during scenes that accidentally tread on bad ground. It's a fact. It happens. Especially when just starting out. I'm only a week and a half into training and I'm already aiming to be perfect. It's impossible. However, panicking in the middle of a moment like this can be devastating to a sub and a dom. The sub is placing their full trust in you. They expect you to know exactly what you are doing. They have confidence in you. If you waiver, the sub waivers. If I panic, they panic. I have to be able to push through the nervousness or panic if I make, no, -when- I make a mistake and ensure that they are okay in a calm, collected manner.

Also, reaffirming that things are okay when a mistake is made is never optional. That said, it -cannot- be done in a panicked way. The calm, collected domspace must be active at all times. This will be hard, but I can do it. I know I can. It'll just take work. I'll make mistakes along the way, but it's not about what happens, it's how I react to it that counts.

Your Faithful Student,
Anon