I Knew I Should Have Stayed Home Today
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Ponyville Elementary "Somehow" Gets Stuck In A Rollercoaster

I Knew I Should Have Stayed Home Today

"Just what the fuck is taking this part of the ride so long?!" Diamond Tiara yelled in her ear piercing scream. "We get the point already. The suspense is killing me!"

Cherilee had decided to take her class to the annual Sweet Apple Acres carnival, and all the fillies and colts had agreed to go on the roller coaster. They hadn't counted on the fact that Applejack didn't know how to calculate physics and a recursive formula to get the carts to get past a loop. Now, the 4-car train was stuck on the precipice of a loop.

Apple Bloom leaned in to whisper into Scootaloo's ear. "Should we tell 'er?"

"Diamond..." Sweetie Belle spoke up. "I don't think this is supposed to be part of the ride."

"Not part of the ride? Are you actually saying that we're stuck here?"

"Yep. That's pretty much it."

"WELL, THAT'S JUST FUCKING GREAT!"

"Don't worry, Diamond. Someone will come along and rescue us soon enough." Silver Spoon muttered.

"Oh, right. All we have to do is wait for a bit."

Two Hours Later

"Diamond! I don't think anypony will get us down!"

"What gave you that ludicrous idea?"

"I think we were trapped here on purpose!"

"Aw, Celestiadammit, Silvy! I refuse to believe this! THIS IS ONLY A RIDE MALFUNCTION! THERE IS NO WAY THAT THIS COULD BE A PRANK!"

Any living creature that could hear or feel vibrations in the five mile radius collapsed in pain.

"But what if Discord really did trap us here? YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS? WE'RE FUCKING SCREWED!"

"Really? Discord bloody trapped us again?" Featherweight groaned. "Can't he get another bloody hobby?"

"This park looked more fun in the commercials!" Snips yelled.

"I'm tired of waiting!" Snails yelled. "We need to call for help! Too bad nopony brought a phone!"

"Why can't we just shout down at those visitors down there?" Apple Bloom asked aloud.

"I never thought I would agree with that blank flank, but everypony do it immediately!"

"HELP!"

"WE'RE TRAPPED AGAIN!"

"UP HERE!"

"I should have brought sunblock..."

"I'M NOT HAVING FUN!"

"I LIKE SCREAMING RANDOM THINGS!"

"DID GERMANE WIN THE WORLD HOOFBALL CHAMPIONSHIP?"

"I'M UPSIDE DOWN!"

"...OR YOU'RE FUCKED!"

"Why are they waving at us?"

"Those imbicles thought we were greeting them...I KNEW IT! EVERYPONY IS AN IDIOT!"

*Ba ba ch ba-ba ba-ba-ba ch...*

Twist took out her Pearphone G-22. "Hello? Who's this?"

"I KNOW IT'S YOU WHO'S PRANK CALLING ME! YOU ASSHOLE! FUCK OFF! I WANT TO PLAY UNREAL TOURNAMENT!"

"Sorry, you got the wrong number."

"WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAA-"

*click*

"Twist?" Apple Bloom asked sweetly.

"Uh huh?"

"FOR FUCKS SAKE! WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL US THAT YOU HAD A PHONE?!"

"Nopony asked me for one."

"Whatever. Just call the fire ponies so they can get us out of here, peferably not on top of one of those zap apple trees."

"I'll call now."

*beep boop beop beep*

Twist suddenly lost grip on the smooth surface, and it fell to the ground and shattered into a million peices.

"Eh...."

"Don't tell me you lost the phone."

"It was a dropped call."

*badum tsss*

"HOW THE TARTARUS DID I EVER GET INTO THE SAME CLASS AS YOU?" Diamond screamed.

*ring ring ring*

"You have a second phone?"

"I almost forgot, I have a backup phone in case I do something stupid to the first one." She began to dial the fire department.

"Twist you must be very careful with this one. Make sure that you don't drop the-"

Twist dropped her second phone.

"phone..." Diamond stopped. "I'm going to be stuck in this shitty roller coaster with these idiots for the rest of my life. Why doesn't someone just kill me!"

"Well, I have a knife." Twist held it up/down for all the ponies to see." She lost her grip on it. "Oops...made that I HAD a knife..."

"DISCORD! GET US DOWN FROM HERE! DISCORD! DISCORD! DISCORD!"

"I highly doubt Discord can hear us from up here."

Crickets began to chirp.

"Well? Now what?"

"Since we are going to be stuck here for awhile, I think we should entertain ourselves."

"Oh, I know!" Featherweight smiled. "I could recite my poems!"

"Celestiadammit, Featherweight! Not that crap again!"

"You never appreciate my art!"

"Hey, I have a better idea. Let's tell joke-"

"NO! NEVER!"

"THIS IS BORING! AT LEAST AT ALL THOSE OTHER BLOODY PLACES, WE WEREN'T FREAKING UPSIDE DOWN THE ENTIRE TIME!"

*DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOo* Discord fired off an air-horn.

"MY EARS!"

"Greetings, fools!"

"DISCORD!" Diamond slammed a hoof on the roller coaster.

"WHY DID YOU TRAP US ALL IN THIS ROLLER COASTER?"

"Because I thought it would be ironic for little Apple Bloom here."

"You're trapped up here as well! Dumbass!"

"I'm hungry. I think I'll go order some Taco Bell." He snapped his fingers and teleported away. He then appeared back several minutes later.

*Munch munch*

"Can I have a taco?"

*Mu-*

"NO! What the hell do I look like to you, a taco genie?"

"Damn you Discord and your product placement."

"You douchebag! Discord, if you don't get us off this thing..."

"...you're fucked?"

"DAMN YOU DISCORD! THAT'S MY LINE!"

"I'd love to sit here all day and annoy you, but I have to go. Oh, and I brought somepony as company for you all." He disappeared in a flash.

"What did he mean by "company?""

"THIS IS PINKIE!" Pinkie Pie yelled.

"No, this is the Sweet Apple Acres carnival!"

"PINKIE!"

"CARNIVAL!"

"PINKIE!"

"CARNIVAL!"

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"IT'S OVER NINE THOUSAND!"

"WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON HERE?! NOT AGAIN!"

"SO SAY WE ALL!"

"MAY THE FORCE BE WITH YOU!"

"FOLLOW THE PRIME DIRECTIVE!"

"IT'S ALMOST AS IF SOMEPONY FORGOT TO CLOSE THE DOOR TO TEH INTERNETZ!"

"Was that backround music always there?"

"Not sure. How is it that this ride can hold so many people?"

"Why the elevator music on the coaster?"

"Must be a sick joke by He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named."

"Are you referring to me?" Twist asked.

"No, that was Dickord. Your name is Twist Butterhooves. Apple Bloom is now Mt. Blankmore."

"What did I ever do to you?"

"WE WOULDN'T BE STUCK HERE IF YOU DIDN'T AGREE ON GOING TO ANYWHERE BUT THIS CARNIVAL! NEXT YEAR, YOU'LL BE SUGGESTING GOING TO THE FASHION GALA!"

Later

"Well, things can't get any worse..."

"Welcome everypony to the Apple Family Carnival!" Discord opened the night festivals with his speech. "There's going to be many popular musical acts preforming tonight."

"Whats going on? I hear applause."

"Now everypony welcome our first musician today...RICK ASTLEY!"

"SAY WHAT?!"

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"I JUST GOT BLOODY RICK ROLLED!"

"WE ALL DID, DAMMIT!"

"Wait. It's moving!"

"We just missed the station!"

"The ride is getting too fast!"

"I do believe that it's not stopping!"

"I'M GOING TO BE SICK!"

"TOO FAST!"

"SOMEPONY STOP THIS CRAZY THING!"

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"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo................................................."