Chapter 6

Have you ever heard the saying "History is doomed to repeat itself by those who don't learn it?" Well, nobody said anything about alternate history.

As soon as Scootaloo reoriented herself from the roller coaster of brain explosions called a "portal" she saw...

Well first she saw a bunch of ponies ah, misplacing their meals. By far one of the grossest things she'd ever seen behind what a night full of hard cider does to Rarity.

The next thing she noticed was the expansive field the portal took her to, and a bit surprising that she noticed it second. A circle of colossal stone walls ribbed with archways enclosed the grounds and opened up above to reveal a murky purple sky. The space was so large that it made her original maze look like a newspaper extra in comparison. Above her hung a cloth banner that proclaimed in chiseled letters "A marathon away from Marathon". Other than the sheer size, the arena had no defining features. Perfectly circular and coloured an off white, nothing else struck out of the ordinary. The unbroken monotony of the area gave almost a claustrophobic effect. The stagnant air seemingly pressing against Scootaloo's sides, squeezing her.

She violently shook her head to clear her thoughts. Starting a race by going insane was never a good idea, especially one made by the physical manifestation of chaos. She looked around the crowd of fellow telepoters for the human girl. "She looked like she knew what she was doing."

Said girl was found stumbling around in a dizzy haze. "Okay maybe not so much, but still a step up from retching so I'll give her that."

Careful to avoid the puddles of gastronomic lost-and-found she trotted to the brightly maned- no haired girl (Another one of Twilight's supplementary lessons. "Objectifying non-ponies, for foals/kids/!"), who was currently had her hands on her knees and repeating "never again" over and over.

"hello?" The filly asked tentatively.

The girl simply held out a finger in response, not looking up. After a ten count she finally looked up at her speaker and widened her eyes.

"Ar-" she began before getting cut off by another stomach lurch. Stumbling a bit she righted herself and tried again. "Aren't you a little young to be here? I mean no offence but at your age I was dreaming of being a magical princesses, not kissing one."

"What? Ew, no. Kisses are gross" Scootaloo scrunched up her muzzle. Hadn't this girl ever heard of cooties?

"Then why are you here?"

"I'm the pony who runs this maze. Hiya I'm Scootaloo!" She shot off a winning smile along with her statement.

"And I'm Sunset Shimmer." She replied the greeting "But wait, you're saying that you built-" The she gestured to the coliseum-like grounds "All this?" Skepticism was obviously present in her tone.

"Nope. I run the maze, but the maze was built by-"

"HELLO EVERYPONY!" A booming voice thundered from out of the ~~blue~~ purple (right the sky's a different colour now). All contestants simultaneously jumped in surprise, with the exception of Scootaloo who was completely unfazed.

"Yeah him. It was built by him. speak of the Nightmare. Again."

"Who the hell was that!" Sunset sputtered.

"STABLE CLAUS OF COURSE! OR DISCORD, WHATEVER YOU PREFER" the voice cheerfully replied. "AND MIGHT I SUGGEST MORE CONSERVATIVE LANGUAGE. AFTER ALL, WE DO HAVE A GUEST"

Everypony waited for the mentioned guest to speak, but was only met with silence. Very faintly she could hear Discord trying to persuade another distant voice to speak up. Though she couldn't hear what the voice was saying whoever it was sounded extremely embarrassed.

"H-HELLO-" an electronic screech filled the air, earning a many hoofs over the ears and a few curses among the contestants. "S-SORRY!"

The voice quickly added after the screeching died. The voice could now be recognized as Twilight's. "UH... YEAH THIS IS TWILIGHT- PRINCESS TWILIGHT AND UH... GOOD LUCK?"

"Wow that's kind sad." Sunset mentally cringed at Twilight's attempt at public speaking. Silently she added "Is it weird that her awkwardness is turning me on?"

"THANK YOU PRINCESS FOR THAT... HEARTFELT GOOD WISHES. ANYWAYS THE RACE WILL OFFICIALLY START IN JUST A FEW MOMENTS AFTER I EXPLAIN HOW THIS IS GOING TO WORK."

Suddenly the coliseum started vibrating under Sunset's feet. It was barely noticeable at first, but steadily increased in magnitude until she spent almost as much time airborne as she did grounded. With a loud slam of stone against stone the middle of the arena dropped away to leave only a thin outer ring to stand on. From the vantage point Sunset had, so far it didn't look like the newly formed pit had a bottom. Instead it continued deeper down where light couldn't reach any farther, giving the impression that it was endless.

"SO TO CONTINUE ON WITH THE RACE ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS GET TO THE OTHER SIDE AND ANSWER A SIMPLE QUESTIONAIRE. NOT TOO BAD RIGHT?"

"What happens if you fall down the hole?" An orange stallion beside Sunset asked.

"NOTHING, NOTHING AT ALL!"

"Nothing?" He repeated confused.

"YES NOTHING. YOU JUST KEEP FALLING, AND FALLING, AND FALLING, AND FALLING, AND-

I THINK YOU GET THE POINT."

The stallion swallowed thickly.

"IF THERE ARE NO FURTHER QUESTIONS THEN... BEGIN!"

A horn sounded to signal the start. Slowly the crowd began to trudge forwards, when they reached the narrow path the mass split to take either the left or right path. Sunset and Scootaloo was about to take the left path when Sunset spotted Trixie. She tapped the filly's shoulder to draw her attention, then she directed her finger to the magician. "I think we should go with her."

When the filly saw who she was pointing at she widened her eyes. "I'm guessing you don't know who that is? Trust me you do not want to be near her."

"I do know her. That's Trixie."

Scootaloo's pupils turned to pinpricks. "You know her and you willingly want to talk to her?" As subtly as she could the filly took a backstep away from the girl.

"Yeah I know, if anypony else said that I would've called Elizabeth Arkhoof Asylum. You don't have to come with me but I am a little worried for you. If there isn't some catch to this then I'll jump in the pit myself."

"Counter-proposal." Scootaloo said thoughtfully. "You treat me to ice cream if Trixie says "great and powerful" more than 20 times before the race is over."

"Bring that up to 30"

"25"

"Deal. Also where did you learn "counter-proposal". I don't think I had that on my spelling tests when I was your age."

"Eh, Twilight used to come in from time-to-time and gives special lessons- *ahem* supplementary advanced education before she got wings and a pointier horn." The orange filly's face broke into a smile at the memory. "Most of the time when she did them something would go wrong, like the projector would catch on fire, or the chalkboard would catch on fire, or the fishbowl would catch on fire. One time during sex-ed her face got all red and her mane caught on fire right before she was going to tell us where foals come from...

Where do they come from anyways?"

"Nope. Not important. Tell you later. Let's go find Trixie!" Sunset whipped around and stiffly walked away from the converstaion as fast as she could.

"Why does everypony I ask do that?" Scootaloo huffed exasperated while chasing after the fleeing girl.

"Trixie!" Sunset called out to the blue mare. After a while without an answer she tried again. "Trixie!" She still did not turn around. Sunset gave out a sigh and tried a different approach. "O great and powerful Trixe, please grace us with you're presence."

Trixie immediately turned around baring a grin. "The great and powerful Trixie shall listen to your pleas!"

"I think I'm going to be sick" Scootaloo made a gagging motion.

"oh it's you, uh... Triplet #3: Rainbow Dash edition."

"Scootaloo." She correct angrily.

"Yes, that's what I said."

"Trixie I know that even you aren't this... Trixie-ish. Tone it down." Sunset interrupted before the poor filly became the youngest victem of stress stroke.

"Hmph, and you're the one who told Trixie to loosen up."

"When did I say that?"

"While the author wasn't looking."

Author's note: I'm not a lazy writer I swear

Giggling she turned back towards the intersection. "Which way are we going then, left or right?"

"I dunno does it matter?"

"How about we follow the confetti trail?" Scootaloo suggested.

Both mares gave the pegasus questioning looks "Confetti trail?"

Scootaloo pointed her hoof at the left path. Upon closer scrutiny underneath the hooves of en massed ponies there was indeed a continuous line of the scattered paper decor.

"Trixie swears that that wasn't there before." She said frowning.

"You must have just missed it or something." Shrugging Sunset followed Scootaloo's advice, and by that quite literally followed as she walk onto the left pathway. "I missed it as well, but it couldn't be important could it?"

A good 15 minutes had passed before the trio reached the other side of the roundabout. Drawing near it the crowd of ponies thickened to the point where their progress was halted by the equine blockade.

Trixie was trying in vain to peer through the many heads of the ponies in front of her. Having no luck she turned to her taller companion. "Shimmer can you see anything?"

"Everypony's converged at something at the front, but I can't see what it is over some deer's antlers. Say, since when did you have deer in Equestria?"

"Ever since Zakhoov International Pegasusport opened up in Stalliongrad."

"You have airports here? Or at least I'm assuming that's what it is in my world's equivalent. If so I'm curious to seeing how it looks."

"You probably shouldn't. Apparently they're having problems with Rushian insurgents, so you might as well skip it.

"Ugh, I already get enough of this when we do current events at school. Can we get back to the problem at hoof?" Scootaloo complained.

"Right, sorry." Sunset chuckled apologetically. "I think I can lift you up so that you can see over Mr. Stag-osaurus." Sunset gently picked up the filly and her on her shoulders. "Can you see anything?"

"Yeah... Everypony's gathered around something that looks kinda like an arcade machine. A couple of smart-looking ponies are having a discussion- wait. Looks like they're done talking. Now a mare with glasses is pressing one of machine's buttons... Now she's shaking her head. I wonder if something went wrong?"

"Trixie will go up to see for herself." The magician swept her cape and cleared a berth around her.

"How are you going to do that? Crowd isn't moving." Sunset said pointedly.

"Ha! A mere crowd is nothing compared to Trixie's great and powerful power. Prepare to be amazed!" Trixie's horn started to glow in a pulsing pale blue magic. With each pulse it slowly grew until the ethereal light fully encompassed the mare. Then...

Then it didn't do anything. She just stood there.

Several seconds passed, then a minute, two minutes. "Wow I'm so amazed. That's the largest nightlight I've ever seen-"

*POP*

And she was gone.

*POP*

When Trixie reappeared she was surrounded by three ponies, two of jumped back in alarm. The third however held the face of her old babysitter; done, just done.

Scootaloo had not been wrong in her description of the group. One of them, a unicorn mare had pale yellow fur and her mane's colour scheme was identical to Twilight's only inverted and tied up, and to top it all off a pair of nerdy glasses. The still recovering beige earth-pony stallion straitened the deerstalker cap covering his cropped black mane and shifted the wooden pipe in his mouth. The unsurprised stallion wore a bow tie and had brown fur and a swept-back mane in a darker brown. All three ponies looked like they belonged in a intellectual talk show and not... Wherever this place was.

While the other two regained their composure the stallion mumbled under his breath. Trixie couldn't hear him properly, but she caught the words "These ponies", "Space-time continuum", and "broken as a goat simulation."

The mare of the three adjusted her thick framed glasses spoke up. "W-who are you?"

"I am the great and powerful Trixie, and you are holding up the line."

"Trixie?"

The magician turned to the source of her name to find a ticked Applejack. "Oh it's you, the uh... Cereal pony! Yes."

"Mah name's Applejack." She stomped her hoof in irritation. For how powerful the mare claimed to be her power of recollection left something to be desired.

"Yes, that's what Trixie said." That earned her a very venomous glare from the farmer, which Trixie took no notice of. "If you're done, I was asking these nice ponies what the problem is."

Applejack opened her mouth to protest further, but thought different of it. "Fair 'nough. What is the hold up anyways?" All eyes were back on the trio gathered around the arcade machine.

"We're trying to solve the questions on that machine. Apparently an exit portal will appear if we answer all of them." The mare with glasses explained informatively.

"So why don't you answer them?" Trixie said raising an eyebrow.

"We did, but everytime we answer a question there's another one after it. We're already at question 90 or so."

"Maybe it's out a 'hundred?" Applejack said hopefully. She stepped up to the machine to view the question on screen. "What colour 're apples? What'n the hay?"

"Red" The stallion with the pipe supplied

"Well Great deduction Surelock!"

"Hey, how do you know who I am?"

"Are you really not going to tell me anything about the maze?" Twilight protested at Discord's grinning silence.

"I told you you'll just have to wait and see for yourself. Besides, surely somepony of your caliber can make do without my help."

Twilight returned her attention to the enchanted mirror in front of her. The glass pane, rather than showing her reflection it broadcasted the events of the Chaos realm. To either side of the mirror were two like mirrors that instead projected the oh-so fascinating image of purple static. The framing of each mirror were drastically different from each other and followed from left to right: Images of cute cartoon-ish ponies with drastically unproportionate eyes on a backdrop of cheery pastel hues, the current frame constructed completely of fused bronze weaponry and armour that were darkened from weathering, and the last a flashy green and black tiger striped frame holding various, but unfamiliar corporate logos.

"I think it's safe to assume that each mirror will a different area?"

"Can't say you're wrong."

"How are they supposed to prevent anypony from winning?"

"Again, that's for me to know and you to find out." Discord tsked teasingly.

"Do I really have to wait for everything? I mean it's one thing if Applejack, Trixie, Sunset, or even Moondancer wins-

Which for the record, I still can't she's competing! I mean do all of my friends have secret crushes on me? Anyways if any of them or any of the other decent ponies competing win I'd be okay with it, but what about all of the not-so decent ponies like Blueblood? I'd rather recreate Princess Luna's banishment with myself portraying Luna than do anything remotely intimate with him!"

"Don't worry." Discord said nonchalantly. "judging by how frustrated that gentlecolt with the funny hat is getting I'd say you don't have to wait much longer."

What is another word for Potato?

?

"Spud" answered Surelock with all the enthusiasm of one

What colour is the sky?

"Blue" he replied in the same monotone as before.

How many hooves does a pony have?

"Oh I don't know, maybe eight?" Every single question thus far had been similarly simple and meaningless. All 207 of them. "I swear I could just say random words from a kindergartner's vocabulary and I'd still make good time on this."

What is the answer to life, the universe, and everything?

"oh, or maybe not."

"42?" Applejack guessed. The machine's screen flickered and went to the next question.

The Stallion looked incredulously at her. "How in Celestia's good name did you know that?"

"It's what mah cousin Arthur used t' say 'fore he went crazy. Kept babbling on 'bout aliens n' how ther' gonna destroy Equestria fer a interstellar highway."

"... Right-o next question."

To which wind does a wendigo go if a wendigo could go wind?

"To the moon with this I am so done!" The beige earth pony lost his self-control and threw his pipe at the screen. The transparent material proved more durable than it looked as it harmlessly ricocheted off.

"Calm down Surelock. We need to be reasonable with this." Applejack tried to calm the ticked stallion with a steady hoof.

"But, but... This is madness!"

"NO!" The deep voice of a stallion roared from the purple Aether. The resounding voice caused tremors to ripple throughout the coliseum.

"THIS. IS. SPARTAAAAAAAAAAAA"

In a flash all the archways along the coliseum's wall fell away to reveal giant leather sandals. No sooner then they were revealed every third hoofwear rocketed forward on pistons and hit several unfortunate ponies, launching them into the black abyss of the center. Meanwhile on the direct other side of the coliseum where they had first come through a second portal opened up.

"Ah horseapples. Really Discord, really?"

"Calm down everypony, I'm sure if we stay together it should be fine" Moondancer said while making disarming gestures with her hoof. The crowd of ponies murmured agreements as they slowly settled down "See? That wasn't so bad-" Moondancer's efforts were cut short when a size 67 sandal slammed into her. Before she realized it she was plummeting down the endless void she was previously on top of.

The bow tie wearing pony cleared his throat and took the space where Moondancer once was. "New plan: everypony run as fast as they can to the exit. Allons-y!" The prospect of being kicked by a giant mechanical foot seemed to be all the insentive needed as panicked dash began for the other side. The number of ejected ponies growing by each salvo of Spartan kicks.

Trixie was running small distance behind Applejack when she noticed that the archway beside the farmer release steam.

"Applejack watch out!"

Applejack turned her head to the hissing sandal just in time to twist too the side and deliver a powerful buck that connected with the pistonwork with an audible crack

Trixie winced at the sound of breaking bone. She approached the mare to try and help with her obviously broken legs, but upon getting closer she spotted a winding crack running through the length of the rod connecting to the sandal. With a start she realized it was the piston that broke, not Applejack.

Applejack picked up her stetson that had fallen to the ground from the kick's countershock. "Thanks fer the heads up Trixie."

Trixie couldn't help but stare wide-eyed and slack jawed at the apple farmer, and neither could several other ponies that stopped to do the same.

When the farmer finally took notice of all the stares she getting she frowned. "What? Did ah do somethin' wrong?"

"...Nope nothing's wrong. Say, wanna stick together?"

"Sure, but why're y'all here anyways? can't y'all just use yer fancy-shmancy teleportaion spell tah get t' the exit?"

"... "

"Ya do know you cn' do that right?" Applejack asked blank faced."

"Hey! Trixie only learned that spell a few days ago so don't judge!" Trixie grumpily welled up her magic around her and Applejack. When the spell was ready she discharged her magic and blinked them both out of existance. They emerged near the exit portal and took a moment to adjust from the vertigo caused by teleportaion, luckily small-scale one caused only minor effects. Trixie looked around her and saw mostly pegasi, understandable since they had the advantage of simply flying over the obstacles. "not fair." She thought ticked. She glanced back at Applejack to see if she was ready to step through the exit portal, the mare prompted for a silent nod and together they walked toward the portal. Trixie had her hoof halfway through when she heard a familiar voice, turning around and was greeted by the sight of Sunset and Scootaloo panting and wheezing.

"I. Am never. Doing that. Ever again." Sunset sputtered out between pants. She looked up and was surprised to see the pony counterpart of Applejack and Trixie.

"Ah, yes. Applejack I'd like you meet bacon head and you should already be familiar with your sister."

"Scootaloo ain't mah sister, if anythin' she's Rainbow's sister."

"Seriously? We just met like, 20 minutes ago. How can you forget us already?" Scootaloo groaned annoyed. "No, wait. When did you two pass us? Tell me that first."

"Trixie teleported."

Scootaloo twitched slightly. Speaking in a dangerous voice she questioned "You mean to tell me that I just sprinted for the better part of ten minutes while you two just magicked here in an instant?"

"Uh, well you see..." Applejack tried to stall for a more delicate way to answer the filly. "Well you see Scootaloo, I'm sure that teleportation spells are very tiring in themselves and-"

"Yep." Trixie put bluntly

Scootaloo closed her eyes and dawned a smile. After a moment's silence she opened them again, murder in her eyes.

Author's Note

In case you haven't noticed already I spell my colours with a u
Geez you won't believe how many red squiggly lines of typo doom I'm getting because of it.

Please leave a comment! They encourage me to write