Infiltration Impossible

Prologue

In the past century, retail has become a giant around the world. Empires have risen, such as the great Benjamin Franklin, then fallen, only to be replaced by the “New Generation”, such as K-Mart and Big Lots.

But there are two that have survived all the struggles; they have come out on top again and again, and it is thanks to these two that America has lost all free will when it comes to shopping.

I am speaking, of course, about Wal-Mart and Target.

In the land of people, these giants are so well known, that the Wal-Mart Spark is more commonly known among children than the Christian Cross! Their influence has reached such a peak of power, that children, when asked what kind of family pet they would like, ask for “the Target dog”.

They expand ever outward, reaching into every country they can. But what would happen if they already had reached that goal? Where would they go next? Into the far reaches of space, perhaps?

This is the story about how these two retail overlords made their way into Equestria, and changed the face of the land forever.

Chapter 1 - What new building?

As is in the land of peace and fairy tales, the morning of the big news was full of birds tweeting, butterflies sipping, and children playing, and all that hogwash.

The citizens of Ponyville gathered in the square to hear about what the new building that had just been erected.

A stage was set up in the center of town, accompanied by strange beings the ponies had never seen before. One of them strode forth to the microphone on the center of the stage.

“My good friends! Welcome to a new era of living and shopping! Over the past two months, we have labored extensively to bring you your very own Wal-Mart Neighborhood Market!”

The ponies looked at each other confused, not understanding what exactly was going on. What was a Wal-Mart? And why was one built in Ponyville?

The speaker already knew ponies had no idea what a Wal-Mart was, and had already prepared for the next phase of his speech.

“This isn’t just a grocery store, folks. This is a place where you can find not only all the necessities for the week’s meals, but you can talk with your neighbors, catch up on the local news, or simply buy a coffee and doughnut on the way to work. It’s everything a corner store has to offer, and more.”

The ponies did have a corner store, and they wondered why they would need to replace it.

“Wal-Mart’s Neighborhood Market will not only change your shopping habits, but it will reduce the time you need to shop, because you can get almost anything you need right here! To add to the good news you’ve just heard, our facility will be hiring new associates starting immediately!”

The ponies knew what that meant: jobs for a dying Ponyville economy.

A loud cheer rose up from the crowd, and the speaker turned around, and smiled at his comrades in retail.

“It worked, Dale. I’m honestly glad to admit I was wrong, and that we could open a Wal-Mart outside of Earth!”

Dale nodded.

“Yes, I had a feeling we could beat out the competition here. The currency is quite foreign to me, but we’ve already worked out the conversion rates, and we’ve established a minimum wage for our future associates and a full-time benefits plan.”

The speaker smiled.

“Wonderful! I think we’re going to fluff up that bonus this year.”

The speaker turned back to the microphone and continued speaking.

“Now, unfortunately, I have to cut this short. If you are interested in applying for Wal-Mart, please make your way to the store’s location at 31 Buckend Drive. Thank you, and I hope to see many of you there!”

The speaker backed away from the microphone, and led the rest of the men off the stage and away from the street.

Another cheer went up from the crowd, and they all raced to the new store; hoping to get a job with such a fabulous company.

The pony crowd arrived at the Neighborhood Market disappointed to see that an even bigger crowd was already there!

To make things worse, many of them were coming out the building wearing strange, green vests with what looked like a yellow rectum on the back of them.

They looked excited about their new job, and many of the younger ones were ecstatic.

“This is great!” said one of the younger stallions, “Now I’ll be able to afford that new cart for my pa’s shop!”

“Yeah, and I’ll be able to get a new PGS4! It looks so great!” said another.

The fresh employees walked away, laughing and chatting, while the new potentials walked into the building, sweating and gulping, nervous about their interviews.

After several hours, darkness began to descend, and the ponies moaned, knowing they would have to come back tomorrow, but as the crowd started to disperse, one of the the big wigs who was at the speech earlier that day came outside, waving his arms.

“Ponies! Wait! You don’t have to leave!”

“But it’s getting dark! You guys are closing, right?” said one of the ponies.

The man shook his head.

“Wal-Mart is a 24 hour company, folks! We NEVER close, except for Christmas Day.”

The ponies looked at each other with strange looks. Open for 24 hours? They’d never heard of a company that does that.

“That means, of course, that not only will we continue with the interviews, but when we have filled our quota for day shift employees, we will begin hiring for overnight positions!”

“You mean you’re going to hire some of us to work through the night?”

The man smiled and nodded.

“That’s right! But not only that, you’ll also make 4 bits more per hour than your day shift counterparts!”

The ponies cheered again.

“Well, I know I’m applying for nights, now.” said one of the ponies.

“Feel free to get back in line, folks, unless you’d rather go home for the night, and come back tomorrow?”

No one moved an inch.

“Very well, then! Everyone will get an interview, I assure you. Just be patient, wait your turn, and you may have a wonderful new job with the Wal-Mart company!”

The man receded into the building, smiling. He walked towards the back of the store, waving at his new workers as they left, and shaking hands with his fellow suits. When he arrived at the PhotoCenter, he pushed the swinging doors, and made his way to the Co. Manager’s Office. Inside, he sat down at a computer and looked up the interviews for the day. He scanned the page looking for a certain number.

He smiled a wide, wicked smile.

“Excellent! The fools have no idea what they’ve gotten themselves into!”

He burst into manic laughter and left the office with the computer still running, showing two very important numbers.

Population of Ponyville - 934

Wal-Mart Interviews to Date - 653