Infiltration Impossible

Chapter 2 - The Morning After

The interviews were done at 2:15 a.m. the next day. Those who were readily accepted went home wearing yellow rectum vests, and those who weren’t accepted immediately went home biting their nails.

Those who were hired immediately were told to report to work in three days, and that they would be able to see their scheduled hours then, as well.

At 7:30 that morning, a news story came on the T.V. talking about the Wal-Mart company, and what had happened the day before.

“Hi, Shelly Future-Glue here, standing outside the new Neighborhood Market at 31 Buckend Drive. The managers at this new store have just finished hiring workers for not only days, but for nights! That’s right folks, a Ponyville first - a business has hired workers for overnights, and now the store will NEVER close except for what they call “Christmas Day”. After an interview with one of the managers, they informed me this is their name for Hearth’s Warming. This is Shelly Future-Glue, Ponyville News.”

Twilight raised an eyebrow at the report.

“Spike! Did you know that a new store was opening in Ponyville?”

Spike came downstairs, and looked at the T.V.

“Yeah, they finished building it awhile ago, but they just finished hiring yesterday. I heard Pinkie got hired yesterday, now that you mention it.”

“What?! She already has a job working at Sugar Cube Corner, though. Why would she quit....?”

Spike shook his head.

“She didn’t quit, she got laid off. Wal-Mart offered free pastries celebrating the opening of their store, and Sugar Cube Corner had to close up shop.”

“How did they close down the Cakes’ entire shop just by offering some free pastries for a few days?”

Spike laughed.

“It wasn’t for a few days, Twilight. They gave out free desserts for a few MONTHS.”

Twilight’s eyes grew big, and her mouth dropped.

“Months?! How have THEY stayed in business?”

“I don’t know, but Wal-Mart hired Pinkie, Mr. Cake, and Mrs. Cake to work in the Bakery Department.”

Twilight couldn’t even say anything. She stood up and ran outside, calling out to Spike.

“I’ll be home later!”

She raced down the street, ignoring the other ponies’ ‘good morning!’s and ‘how are you?’s. In no time at all, she was standing in front of the Neighborhood Market.

It was a large, rectangular building. It expanded outwards to the left and right, rather than front to back, as was typical with most Ponyville constructs. It was a brick building with a green sign sporting the words “Wal-Mart Neighborhood Market”, and that curious yellow rectum symbol again.

“I’m on to you, you son-of-a-bitch,” Twilight whispered under her breath, before she marched into the store.

Upon entering, she felt an immense rush of cold air.

What was that magnificent, cooling air she just felt? Artificial wind?

“Hi, welcome to Wal-Mart,” said an all-too familiar voice.

Twilight spun around to see Granny Smith wearing a Wal-Mart uniform, and sitting on a stool.

“Granny Smith! You work for Wal-Mart now, too?”

“Why yes, dearie, I’ve found it occupies my time, and let’s me socialize again. I’ve been so bored since retirement that I just had to get out into the working world again, and Wal-Mart offers such great jobs for senior citizens! Look at my name badge! I’m a People Greeter!”

Twilight leaned in for a closer look, and sure enough, underneath a piece of blue and white laminated paper sporting her name, was a piece of yellow laminated paper sporting her title - People Greeter.

Twilight shook her head.

“Granny Smith, you know that’s not a real job, right? You’re supposed to be retired, what was wrong with that?”

“Child, it can get awfully lonely and boring staying at home. When you’ve worked for as long as I have, you’ll know what I mean. You just need some kind of direction in your life, at all times, or you might go mad! Ho, ho, ho! Have a nice day now, dearie!”

Twilight left Granny Smith, and continued deeper into the store. She saw more people she knew from Ponyville, and was not happy about it.

“Fashion Sense! What are you doing here?”

Fashion looked up from the oranges she was arranging.

“Oh, hi, Twilight. I work at Wal-Mart now, pretty exciting huh? I stock produce!"

“Why aren’t you at the Carousel Boutique? I thought Rarity hired you a few months back to help her out?”

Fashion sighed.

“She did, but Wal-Mart has undercut her prices so much, that she had to let me go to keep the business.”

“That’s horrible!”

“It is, but I’m thankful I’m still employed, it could be worse.”

“You shouldn’t be thankful to be employed by Wal-Mart! They stole your job!”

“That’s true, but they gave me a new one.”

“One that pays you less!”

“But I have more benefits here, and better ones, too.”

Twilight was aghast. How could she feel that way?

She waved goodbye to Fashion, and moved deeper into the store.

In the Soup Aisle, Twilight found another of her friends.

“Rhythm-Boom, what are you doing here? You work for Wal-Mart, too?”

He nodded.

“Sure do! It’s the best job I’ve had, too!”

“But what about Vinyl Scratch? I thought you were working with her?”

“I was, but Wal-Mart offered me benefits, and Vinyl wasn’t giving me any at all to begin with, so I jumped ship and came on board with the Wal-Mart crew! Yeah!”

Twilight didn’t want to hear another word, she just ran.

“Hey! No running in the store, Twilight! If you hurt yourself, it costs us big time!”

She pretended not to hear him, and kept running. In the Cereal Aisle, she saw her friends Big Plate and Little Bowl zoning..

She ran into the Toys Department and saw a young stallion named Zoom stocking shelves.

She couldn’t take it anymore, she screamed and ran outside, through the Pharmacy fire door, and set off the alarm.

She froze, frightened by the alarm, and cowered in the corner. After a few minutes passed, she heard a booming voice.

“Hey now, little missie, you shouldn't’ use the fire escape if there’s not really a fire.”

Twilight looked up to see a familiar face.

“BIG MAC?! You guys still have the farm! Why are you working here?!”

“The extra coin is always welcome, and Applebloom is old enough to help AJ on the farm, so I applied here, and now I work for AP.”

“AP?”

“Yup, Asset Protection. I help stop thieves, and protect the store against general ne’er-do-wells, and pranksters like yourself.”

“But I wasn’t pulling a prank! I was trying to get out of this store!”

“Aw, well if you wanted to get out of the store, why didn’t you just walk to the front door? That’s the only way you could’ve came in, ya know.”

Twilight stood up, and walked away, without saying a word. She ignored the ponies around her, walked past the cash registers, beeping after every item was scanned, and past Granny Smith.

“Bye, thank you for shopping at Wal-Mart, where you can save money, and live better!”

Twilight screamed.