Negotiation Negation

"Princess Celestia, how nice it is to see you again!" I said gleefully, welcoming Celestia into my hotel room, "Care for a biscuit?"

"Oh, yes, thank you." Celestia replied, sitting at the table in the center of the room. "In Equestria we calls these cookies." She said, picking a biscuit, and popping it in to her mouth.

"Cup of tea?" I asked, grabbing the tea kettle that sat on the table, "Chamomile?"

"Oh, please!"

"One lump or two?"

"Just one, thanks." I handed Celestia the cup of tea, and she gladly took it, taking it by the handle.

"Oh, um, you're holding it wrong." I said.

"I'm sorry?" Celestia asked, her wings flexing.

"You need to hold it like you would hold a regular cup." I replied, taking my cup in the proper way.

"Why?" Celestia asked, a look of confusion on her face.

"It's proper etiquette." I replied, sitting down.

"Oh." Celestia replied, shifting her hand to hold the cup properly.

Though I had always had a good withstanding friendship with Celestia, I did always have to remind her of proper Broncain etiquette.

"So, why did you want to see me?" Celestia asked, taking a sip of her tea.

"I wanted a chat with you, before the conference tomorrow," I explained, "about the Arstrotzkans."

"Oh." Celestia said flatly, setting down her cup.

"Well, it's just..." I stuttered, "I'm worried about Lev, and his...relationship, with your niece."

Celestia cocked her head to the side. "What about them?"

"Well, I'm trying to understand your decision to place Lev and Cadance in the same hotel room." I said.

"I did it at Cadance's request." Celestia said.

I coughed a bit at that. "Cadance wanted to share a room with him?"

"Yes." Celestia acknowledged.

"Why?" I asked.

"She just said they might as well share a room with him last our countries had a conference." Celestia explained.

"Last time?" I asked.

"Yes, at the last diplomatic conference between Arstrotzka and Equestria, those two shared a room."

"And nothing happened?"

"Not that I'm aware of."

I sighed. "Not that you're aware of..."

"What is it?" Celestia asked.

"You put the Political Officer from the Arstrotzkan Republic, people known not for being sociable in any way, in the same room with the bloody Alicorn Princess of Love, and you don't think anything will happen?"

"I don't know what you mean by that." Celestia said.

"My Lord, you're naïve." I mumbled under my breath.

"What was that?" Celestia asked.

"Nothing." I said, rising from the table. "Thank you for your time, Celestia, I'm glad to have chatted with you." I outstretched a hand.

"That's it?" Celestia asked, rising from the table as well. "No conversation about how I've been for the past few years?"

"Oh, they'll be plenty of time for that this next week." I said, shaking Celestia's hand. I walked over to the door, and opened it. "See you tomorrow!"

Celestia excited the room with a look of suspicion shrouding any other emotion.

I closed the door, and said, "Blimey. Celestia, no matter how wise you are, you're dumb as a post when it comes to romance. No wonder you never got any. The Virgin Princess, just like Queen Efillybeth the First."

I walked over the telly, and flipped on a repeat of Doctor Whooves. Despite it being a Broncain show, they producers sure liked to key on Equestria a lot. The episode on was The Temporal Schism.

Suddenly, I heard a high pitched scream. I paused the show, went over to the wall, trying to listen to the sound. It wasn't a scream exactly, but rather a moan. A woman's moan.

I walked over to the door, and peeked out, seeing the security guards standing there. "Tell me, are these walls soundproof?" I asked one.

"No, sir." The guard replied.

I nodded. "Thank you." I said, then reentered my room, placing my head against the wall. Listening carefully, I heard a man's moan as well.

I nodded, and climbed into bed, covering myself with the blankets. I turned out the lamp, and said to myself. "Celestia, I told you so."