Arc 2- 9 (Betrayals [A])

“Good morning, Canterlot!” says DJ-Pon3 enthusiastically over the radio. “Today is going to be a busy day, busy-busy day. Especially for me since I got all kinds of mail asking me about my opinion on Captain Shining Armor getting trashed at the Pre-Gala a couple of days ago. We’ll talk about that, don’t worry, but we also have to discuss other things like Princess Celestia ordering the discovered copies of ‘The Lunar Republic’ to be destroyed. Yeah, her baby sister is not too happy about that. And speaking of Woona, she’s ‘acting up’ by the elite standards by getting involved with us commoners by partying and talking with us! The horror! But I also got a warning for the Vigilante. Vigilante, if your listening, word on the street is that Gilda is gunning for you, and if I know our griffin, then she’ll use every lowlifer and guard in her pocket to get your head. Which brings me to my next point.” DJ-Pon3 clears her throat. “If any of you betray the Vigilante I swear to Luna I will rain down an unholy firestorm straight from the ninth ring of Tartarus! I’m not playing, I will buck you up! Now, who wants to hear some ‘3 Barns Up’?”

Click.

++++++++++

Pinkie Pie shuts off the radio and takes a seat at the kitchen with the daily newspaper, The Canterlot Times, in her mouth. She spits it out next to some bills and flips it open to the front page story, titled: “Cpt. Armor Disgraces Himself In Drunken Frenzy. Princesses Furious”; there is a picture of the drunken Captain sitting down with an ice pack pressed against his head taking up almost the whole front page. Shining Armor may have embarrassed himself a couple of days ago, but Pinkie Pie has a feeling that the news will keep him in the spotlight until his reputation is unsalvageable. Pinkie Pie shakes her head sadly as she reads the article, which was written by none other than Quill Pen, the renown journalist who has a knack of humiliating ponies to the point where their lives are ruined. Pinkie Pie recalls at least four politicians who resigned because of her articles; add in celebrities, business owners and military officials and Quill Pen’s whole career is based around ruining lives through journalism.

The oven dings and Pinkie Pie hops out of her seat and carefully takes out a tray of a dozen freshly baked cookies and sets them on the counter to cool off. The heavenly scent makes her mouth water and she just wants to pounce on the delectables and eat them all. But if her years at the bakery taught her anything, it was of ways restraining oneself. But that was one of the things she was never really good at, and she proved that to herself when she snagged a cookie and ate it in one bite. As Pinkie Pie chews the cookie she comes to the conclusion that she is disappointed with how they came out. She swallows it and says: “Perfect.” with a big smile. She’s going to have to put frosting on them later to make the perfection better.

After that, she walks back to the table and flips through the newspaper once more while, passing over sports articles, entertainment reviews, the opinion column, and so on and so forth. She does stop to read a short article that talks about Applejack becoming increasingly more vocal about the government seizing control of the farms, but whoever wrote the article thought only to write two small paragraphs before ending it on a sloppy note. Then she comes across another article that talks about a mass murder in Stalliongrad at a place called “Rocky Hoof Miner’s Shack”. The listed casualties are a dozen griffins, ten civilian ponies with criminal backgrounds, a corrupt judge, and four dirty guards and one creeped out Local Guard that got an anonymous phone call to report it in. Pinkie Pie rereads the article over and over again, and each time she rereads it she becomes more and more shaken. Especially when the reporter explained how the listed dead were slashed at their throats or had multiple stab wounds.

Pinkie Pie’s thoughts are interrupted when she hears the shower start, and her mind goes blank when Trixie starts singing one of 3 Barns Up’s new songs. She cringes and looks at the bathroom door while Trixie continues her abominable singing. Normally she wouldn’t care if someone was singing, but if Trixie wants to continue singing in their apartment she’s going to need lessons.

In a desperate attempt to block out the horrible singing and to cheer herself up, Pinkie Pie reads the comic section of the newspaper and then tries her hoof at some crossword puzzles. The puzzles aren’t too difficult, but they still bring a smile to her face as she scribbles in the letters. However, the farther into the puzzle she goes, the smaller her smile becomes and the bigger her frown gets. When she’s finished, she’s scowling at the rough, marked up parchment; not because she’s mad at her work, but because it’s serving as a reminder of what she threw away all because she didn’t want to leave her (fake) friends behind. And as a sick joke on the universe’s part, there is an advertisement for the Manehatten Institute of Technology complete with the “Start Your Future Today!” type of picture that has a smiling mare holding a diploma in her mouth while standing on a pile of bags of bits. Pinkie Pie grumbles and shoves the newspaper off of the table, bangs her head on the table and just leaves it there, giving her a fantastic view of the wood’s natural patterns.

A few minutes later, the shower stops and Trixie’s horrendous singing with it, and the azure unicorn comes out a couple of minutes later still damp with her silvery mane and tail retaining their natural curl and smiling brightly. Her eyes even have a sparkle to them that closely resembles Rarity’s whenever she got a high class customer.

“Good morning, Minty,” sings Trixie, making Pinkie Pie jolt upright in her seat. “Ooh, goodie. cookies!”

“Trixie, don’t-” starts Pinkie Pie. Too late, Trixie is already digging into the cookies. “Eat the cookies. Crap.”

Trixie turns around with cookie crumbs around her mouth while chewing on a cookie and holding another in her magical grip. “Something wrong?”

“I didn’t have a chance to put frosting on them. But they taste good bland anyway, so eat away.”

“Cool, thanks!” Trixie eats the cookie and Pinkie Pie’s ears droop while her eyes become half lidded; it is quite obvious that her roommate did not pick up her sarcasm. “So, Minty, what are you going to do today?”

Pinkie Pie looks at the bills unenthusiastically. “I have to run some errands.”

Trixie trots to the living room and turns on the radio. Pinkie Pie hears Trixie switching the stations on the radio, going from rock to country, country to rap, rap to pop, and pop to rock. She leaves it on the rock channel and starts singing along to a song called “Cloudsdale Castaway”, and again, Pinkie Pie has to restrain herself from giving spontaneous singing lessons.

“WHOEVER’S SINGING, SHUT UP!” yells a stallion from behind the wall where the radio is.

“HEY, BUCK YOU, BUDDY! THIS IS MY APARTMENT!” yells Trixie while placing her forehooves on the table where the radio is an leaning as close to to the wall as she can.

“I’M NOT YOUR BUDDY!”

“AND YOUR NOT MY BOSS!”

“JUST STOP SINGING!”

Trixie inhales for what could possibly be a disastrous musical number, but thankfully Pinkie Pie’s quick hooves shove the last of the cookies in Trixie’s mouth, effectively shutting her up.

“Okay, Trixie, time to get you to work,” says Pinkie Pie as she gently escorts Trixie to the front door.

“That guy was a jerk,” huffs Trixie, mouth still full of chewed cookie.

“Well, some ponies just don’t like horrible singing.”

“What?”

“I said: ‘Some ponies need to get to work, pronto’.”

Trixie’s eyes widen and gets a sudden burst of energy as she points to the door with one hoof placed over Pinkie Pie’s neck in a half hug. “You’re right! We must not falter, Minty, for the Great and Powerful Trixie’s employment is on the line!”

‘Stupid pills,’ thinks Pinkie Pie with a roll of her eyes.

“Away!”

And Trixie bolts out the door, soon to crash into something judging by the sounds of a cart falling over with all its contents spilling on the floor and one very ticked off mare swearing over Trixie’s apologies.

~~~~~~~~~~

Nearly an hour later Trixie hops out of Minty’s vehicle and says her farewells before trotting inside Fancy Entertainment with her supply of mint gum floating beside her in her magical aura. She goes through the necessary procedures at her workplace. She clocks in, greets Fancypants, gets told how much she sucks by Hank via body language and verbal tone, and plays the role of a sardine when stuffed in a steam-powered vehicle with Clover Field, Clockwork, and Cinder. A long, drawn out wait later, the group arrives at the Card Casino for another fun filled night of hard work and Monte’s harassment.

Fast forward four hours, and that is how long Trixie’s group had been slaving and wanting to bash Hank and Monte’s skulls in. Their verbal whipping spares no one, and their annoying urgency to get the zebra-unicorn’s show prepared is making Trixie’s daily dose of happy pills less effective. Also, ever since Trixie was force fed those mushrooms, leading to her bruises and cuts to disappear, she had been getting a lot of unwanted attention from both genders hitting on her. But Monte’s version of giving her attention was the worst of it; over the past couple of days he’s used her as his test subject for his so called magic. And today is no different.

“Now just hold still,” orders Monte.

Trixie is sitting in the middle of a circle of decks of cards that have lines connecting each of them to form a pentagram. Trixie personally finds the symbol creepy, but Monte has repeatedly called it “cool”. Monte closes his eyes and his horn glows, and with it, all the cards. The cards rise up one by one and as Trixie looks at them her pupils shrink and she finds herself cowering in fear as the bladed cards rise up around her like demented petals of a flower. Soon she is completely encased in a bubble made up of the creepy, bladed cards, which she notices that the suits, numbers and faces having an occult twist to them.

“And here. We. Go.”

The stage suddenly opens up and Trixie lets out a surprised yelp as she falls down, landing on her back on a mattress where a couple of security guards and crew members are. The cards fold away and she hears Monte triumphantly shout: “And she’s gone!” over a weak applause. Monte pokes his head down, flashing a mean spirited smile.

“Did I scare you, Trixie?” teases Monte.

“Yes!” snaps Trixie. “What the hay are you doing with bladed cards, anyway?”

Monte taps his chin. “I dunno. Maybe because they’re cooler than silly fireworks.” Trixie’s eyes narrow and he chuckles. “Not that I’m taking a jab at your short lived fame or anything.”

“You’re an ass.”

There’s an aggravated scoff and Trixie turns to her side to see a scornful female donkey walk away muttering colorful words. Trixie groans and face-hoofs, now wishing she had brought her pills instead of gum to help her cope with the bad day this is turning out to be. Suddenly the mattress buckles as the hybrid lands on it, next to Trixie, grinning.

“You really should be more sensitive,” says Monte. Trixie tries to walk away from Monte, but his persistence to annoy her is boundless. “My offer still stands, too! And I think it’ll be great for you since you look a million times better, you’ll surely draw crowds with just your looks alone.”

Trixie tunes out Monte when he mentions providing her with “protection”. She knows she can take care of herself and that Monte is throwing a fit because he can’t get what he wants. When she’s out of the Card Casino underbelly she heads back to her group, eager to have a daisy sandwich that’s being handed out by Fancy Entertainment’s catering crew. But, naturally, something goes wrong where she finds herself stuck in place by magic.

“Monte, I swear to Celestia,” starts Trixie angrily while turning her head, “that if you are holding meeeee-ohh... Hi.”

“Hello, Trixie Lulamoon, I am Agent Lock N. Key of the Equestrian Investigation Bureau. I have a few questions for you,” says the large stallion unicorn with his EIB badge hanging around his neck. He has four other unicorns, all mares, surrounding him and all possessing EIB badges.

Lock releases Trixie from his magical grip and she looks past the agent and sees Montes laughing and having a good time at the expense of Hank. She looks back at the agent and smiles nervously and in the back of her mind she wonders if the EIB is onto her late night vigilantism.

“Something wrong, officer?”

“Agent.”

“Right. Agent. Sorry.”

The EIB agents lead her to a secluded table in the back of the audience area and Lock pulls out a folder, flips it open, and shows her sketch artist pictures of her cheap costume. Next to the sketches are the familiar faces of ponies and griffins she hospitalized.

“We’ve been searching for somepony that has been referred to as ‘Vigilante’ by DJ-Pon3; a name that quickly caught on,” says Lock, carefully studying Trixie’s facial expression. He shows more sketch pictures of her newer costume. “We believe that this is the same pony in a more upgraded costume. The funny thing is, is that whoever this pony is has been compared to the fabled Mare-Do-Well.”

“Cool story, but what does that have to do with me?”

Lock’s eyes narrow. “Do not play us as fools, Lulamoon. A few days ago a group of thugs were battered by somepony wearing the former suit. It was reported that they got a few good hits, and a short time after a clinic was robbed of a single healing mushroom, and you return to work cured of all bruises and scars.”

Trixie chuckles nervously. “Maybe I had a really good night’s sleep.”

“A pony we interviewed about the incident said he recognized the Vigilante’s voice, but couldn’t pin where he heard it before.” Trixie looks out of the corner of her eye and sees Pipsqueak, looking a bit shaken, staring at her, and when their eyes meet he scurries away. “Look at me, Lulamoon.”

“Look at me!”

Trixie’s eyes snap to Lock’s, she’s now visibly terrified as the memory of her torture flashes through her mind, and subconsciously rubs the area she was was punctured by the needles.

“Are you fulfilling your obligations to the League of Justice, Lulamoon?” asks Lock, his gaze becoming more threatening by the second. “Not that it matters, anyway, since you’d be the last of your pathetic organization and we can easily bring you back to Singsong. That is if, in fact, you are roaming the streets at night.”

Trixie gets an uneasy feeling in her stomach that makes her want to puke. “What do you mean last of-”

“The League of Justice is dead, and if you are breaking your parol contract the last of it will die with you in Singsong.”

The news of her being the last of the League of Justice not only puts a rock in her stomach, but all she can imagine is everyone she knew -the same ponies and zebras that helped her- lying dead somewhere. And she didn’t know! She struggles to figure out how this was kept from her, or why the public doesn’t know about. She’s certain the public doesn’t know, anyway.

“Are we done?” asks Trixie, her voice barely audible over her efforts to swallow her tears.

“Of course,” says Lock, a smile flickers across his lips while he puts the files away, “just stay in town in case I have more questions for you.”

Trixie nods, slides out of her seat and walks away with her head down, now feeling too sick and broken to care for a sandwich.

oooOOOooo

Lock watches Trixie sulk towards the stage and he smiles to himself. Trixie was ridiculously easy to read, making the interrogation the easiest he’s done all year.

“Why didn’t you use your magic on her?” asks an agent.

“I didn’t need to. Her body language told us everything we needed to know,” answers Lock.

He gets up and heads towards the exit with his escorts. Once outside they are greeted by the warmth of the sun and Lock takes a moment to take it all in. When a shadow of a zeppelin flies over he looks up to watch the graceful vehicle glide past him with the Solar Empire’s propaganda decorating its side. Then, just for the heck of it, he looks at the Celestial Spire in the distance and watches barely noticeable dots flying around and the cranes guiding steel beams to their respective places. When his sight seeing is over he enters a black motorized wagon that is designed like a limousine with the EIB seal on the side.

“Well?” says Brisk Wind while shifting her position to allow the stallion more space.

“Our suspicions were proven to be correct. Trixie has been interfering with Gilda’s business,” says Lock.

“Oh, that makes things easier on us, then. But what about Minty Sprinkles? What do you have on her? You said you’d tell me after this little field trip of yours.”

“I know what I said.”

“And?”

Lock sighs, clearly annoyed by his findings. “She’s a ghost. Her personal records have been completely fabricated, using characters and locations from novels and cookbooks. The only solid thing we have are her purchases and, of course, her friend here.” Lock and Brisk Wind look at a cuffed and gagged Ink Well. Lock uses his magic to remove the gag and when Ink Well is finished coughing and swearing in his native tongue, Lock speaks. “Ink Well, we know you and Minty Sprinkles talked, but we want to know about what.”

“I am a Bernesenese citizen! You have no right to do this!”

“Our nation. Our rules. Now speak.”

“This is not Equestria! This is Tartarus!”

Lock and Brisk Wind look at each other as Ink Well rants about tyranny and other kinds of mumbo jumbo associated with political paranoia. Brisk Wind orders the driver to take them away over Ink Well’s verbal assault and after a few minutes of driving Brisk Wind orders the driver to stop. They are now over an empty bridge arching over a river and when the vehicle stops Lock uses his magic to show Ink Well the plans for the advanced Mare-Do-Well suit he had been carrying with him. Ink Well stares at the picture and smiles while Brisk Wind narrows her eyes.

“It’s a nice picture, isn’t it?” says Ink Well.

“You do realize that vigilantism is considered a form of terrorism in Equestria, right?” says Brisk Wind sternly.

“Only for those who have wronged others,” retorts Ink Well, his tone matching Brisk Wind’s.

Brisk Wind stares at Ink Well and her eyelid twitches and her jaw tightens. Then she takes a deep breath, scooches past Lock and pushes the door to the limousine open. After that, she bites down on Ink Well’s ear and drags him out, ignoring his screaming and swearing, and when he’s in the middle of the road she stomps on his side. He howls when his ribs snap under her hoof.

“We wrong no pony!” screams Brisk Wind. She stomps on him again. “We protect Harmony from-” another stomp. “Lunatics like you!” Lock steps out and levitates a pistol from his holster and Brisk Wind forces Ink Well to look at her. Despite his bloody condition, he still gives the pegasus a defiant glare. “We know Minty Sprinkles ordered the suit! What is she planning!”

Ink Well laughs, coughing out blood a moment later. “What’s the matter? Scared that her actions will bring down your little empire?”

“My ‘little empire’ is going to perfect Harmony!”

Ink Well laughs painfully. “You? Perfecting Harmony? Ha! You’re doing anything but that! Hell, you aren’t even a guardian, you are a terrorist.”

Brisk Wind growls and yanks Lock’s pistol out of his grip with her mouth and then unloads the clip in a sloppy spray all over Ink Well’s body. When the clip is empty she spits out the pistol and stares at the corpse on the ground, breathing heavily and not even caring that his blood is circling around her hooves or has splattered on her uniform and face. She takes a deep breath and wipes her sweaty mane back before looking at Lock. Despite his best efforts, a little bit of his shock manages to break free.

“Who are we?” asks Brisk Wind in a dangerously cold tone. Lock looks at her with a blank expression while carefully cleaning the bloody dots and slobber off of his pistol with a rag. Brisk Wind’s eyes narrow and she stares directly into Lock’s eyes with the fires of Tartarus in her. “Who. Are. We?”

“We are the Equestrian Investigation Bureau,” says Lock quietly and cautiously.

“And what do we do?”

Lock gulps. “We protect Equestria and the ideals of Harmony from threats that reside within.”

“Exactly.” Brisk Wind looks at the corpse. “We are not terrorists. We are the defenders of Harmony, and that will never change.” She looks at Lock again. “Toss him in the river.”

Lock nods, silently uses his magic to toss Ink Well’s body over the railing of the bridge and then he goes inside the limousine where his boss is waiting. When he’s inside Brisk Wind orders the driver -whose trembling with fear- to drive as she awkwardly wipes the blood from her hooves using the rag Lock used earlier. It actually takes Brisk Wind to give the order twice for the driver to actually starts driving.

“You didn’t see anything,” says Brisk Wind in a threatening tone to the driver.

“Yes ma’am,” says the driver, her voice shaking with fright.

“And Lock, can you be a gentlecolt and help me get the blood off of my hooves?”

The question is more of an order, and Lock is not interested in being crippled in a limousine, so he quietly uses his magic to guide the rag into wiping the blood off of her hooves. Brisk Wind is apparently ticklish there, too, which made the whole ordeal awkward and terrifying at the same time. When the blood is off of her hooves, Lock tosses the rag out the window and an increasingly uneasy silence takes over for the rest of the trip back home.

“Octavia has a vendetta with Sprinkles and Lulamoon, right?” says Brisk Wind casually. Lock nods. “Excellent. We’ll deliver them to the griffins as a sign of good faith, have Octavia kill them, and then we’ll investigate their murder and reveal that they were vigilantes. That will give a nice public service message to the ponies out there that being a superhero is bad for your health.”

“Technically they aren’t superheroes,” points out Lock.

Brisk Wind rolls her eyes. “You know what I mean. Besides, the griffins were going to scare Trixie into not talking to Captain Armor anyway.” She chuckles as if she had just heard an amusing joke and she steps out of the limousine with a dreamy look in her eyes. “It’s going to be a great day when all of this is over.”

=**********=

Trixie’s eyes look up at the stall door as Clockwork lightly knocks on it. She hears the pegasus say something, but she can’t hear it over the thoughts swirling in her mind about the League’s fate; the sniffling doesn’t help her case, either.

“Trixie, you’ve been in there, crying, for an hour,” says Clockwork with concern, “can you please tell me what’s wrong?”

“No,” moans Trixie.

“Why?”

Trixie wipes her nose and tears from her eyes. “It’s complicated.”

“Did you break up with somepony?”

“No.”

Clockwork hesitates. “Did somepony die?”

Trixie looks at the door and feels a new bulge bully its way up to her throat, and next thing she knows, she on the ground sobbing hysterically and so hard where she’s finding it hard to breath.

“Trixie, I’m coming in,” says Clockwork over Trixie’s wailing.

Trixie would say something about the stall being locked, and would use magic to keep it locked, but her crying and the miserable thoughts accompanying it are making it hard to speak or concentrate on even the simplest of magical tasks. However, the pegasus already knows that the door is locked, so she simply flies as high as she can and nimbly climbs over the stall like a feathered bug. When she lands on the toilet with as much grace as she can muster, she scoops up Trixie’s huddled and shaking figure and hugs her tight. Trixie instinctively hugs the sandy colored pegasus back and cries in her shoulder.

Clockwork gently rocks Trixie back and forth while stroking her mane and telling her that everything will be okay in a soothing voice. Trixie cries harder and soon her eyes run dry of tears, and her sobs are reduced to wailing and a tight hug, begging for comfort.

“I wasn’t there,” whimpers Trixie, prompting Clockwork to shush her and stroke her mane in a more gentle fashion. “I’m never there.”

===

Trixie stood in the back of a crowd gathered around a casket being lowered into the ground. Despite the weather being warm and nearly cloudless, despair was what hung in the air over everyone. Everyone but Trixie, that is. Trixie held no shame in letting her smile spread across her face. He was finally dead. Eclipse finally got what he deserved. While his friends and family wallowed in sorrow, she stared with a glitter in her eyes. The tombstone had a picture of him looking pristine as usual and the grave was put next to her mother’s.

Trixie could hear the priestess talk over the cranking gears, something about Celestia watching over Eclipse’s soul or something, but she knew the truth. There was no Paradise for Eclipse, only Tartarus, which meant Tirek will be watching his soul from now on. The thought of eternal torment made Trixie snicker, which drew some looks towards her, but they gradually returned to watching Eclipse’s coffin disappear.

When the service ended, Trixie found herself staring at the grave, and the priestess approached her. She was a snowy white unicorn with a blonde mane and tail, and she was wearing the appropriate white and gold robe and a tierra with the sun on it.

“You were late for the funeral,” said the priestess hesitantly.

“Really? What gave you that idea?” said Trixie sardonically.

The priestess frowned, but not out of anger, out of pity for Trixie. “Look, Trixie, I know-”

“You’ve always known and yet you did nothing except do one of your fancy talks.” Trixie waved a hoof around, mimicking the priestess’s voice as rudely as possible. “Oh don’t you worry, Trixie, Celestia has a plan for you. Everything happens for a reason. It’s just a test! Just pray!”

Trixie slammed her hooves on the ground and glared at the priestess as she stood hoof-to-hoof with her, but rather than standing her ground, the priestess shrunk back. Trixie forced herself to smile, her anger clear with her raspy breathing and trembling body.

“I prayed. I prayed to Celestia, and what I got in return was more of these stupid tests! I lost my mother! My home! My name! EVERYTHING! I barely made it Canterlot as it is, and I only showed up because I wanted to see my father buried! That funeral was the greatest gift to me, but I would like to thank the pony who killed him since our fair Goddess of the Sun is too pure to kill.”

The priestess looked down and Trixie sneered and walks away while giving a sharp tail whip to the priestess’s cheek, making her squeak and jump in her spot.

“You can tell Celestia I’m done with her tests.”

Trixie stopped by her father’s tombstone and bucked it right on the picture, shattering it. The priestess made a whiney protest, but that didn’t stop Trixie from snickering and walking away without looking back.

===

“Trixie, I... Come here.” Clockwork hugs Trixie tighter and rubs her head against Trixie’s. The disgraced magician is uncomfortable about that intimate gesture, but she’s more concerned about the air being squeezed out of her.  “It’s going to be okay,” purrs Clockwork, “I promise.”

“See? Everything will be okay, Trixie. She promises,” says Sunshine in an eerie echo.

Trixie gasps and pulls away from Clockwork, then she pushes open the stall door and frantically looks around for the demented entity. She barely hears Clockwork asking her what’s wrong over her racing heart and panicked breathing. Trixie pushes open every stall door and when she looks in the garbage can, Clockwork grabs her and looks her in the eyes with worry.

“Trixie, what’s wrong?” asks Clockwork worryingly.

“You didn’t hear him?” asks Trixie, her colors draining and her whole body shaking.

“Hear who?”

“Sunshine! I... I have to go.”

Trixie doesn’t give Clockwork the opportunity to say anything as she runs out of the bathroom and zips through the employees of the casino and Fancy Entertainment, out of the casino and into the busy streets of Canterlot.

She doesn’t know how long she has been running, but when she reaches her apartment her body wants to shut down right then and there and sleep because her lungs are burning, her muscles are sore, and her bones feel like they’re ready to snap at any moment. However, with Sunshine’s twisted chuckle and taunting ringing in her ears, passing out is not an option. And even if she wanted to, she wouldn’t, it would only leave her trapped in whatever sick world he has in store for her.

Trixie bursts into the lobby and frantically pushes the button to call the elevator, sweating and panting from the amount of energy she exerted and from the fear plaguing her. She whimpers and dances nervously in her spot as she watches the numbers of the elevator go down seemingly slower than usual. When it dings open, Filthy Rich steps out with the pegasus he met the night Shining Armor got trashed; both of them are smiling stupidly with their manes and tails ruffled and their clothes sloppily put on. But their smiles are replaced with shocked expressions and they yelp when Trixie uses her magic to throw them out of the elevator.

The elevator shuts and Trixie whimpers as the lights buzz and flicker on and off.

“That wasn’t very nice,” says Sunshine, his voice echoing and his appearance being known with every flicker of a shadow. “Ya really need t’ be more considerate.”

Trixie closes her eyes and shrinks in a corner while covering her ears and begging Sunshine to go away. When the elevator doors open on her floor, Trixie runs out and wastes no time in going to her apartment. Upon entering, she runs straight to the bathroom, leaving her front door wide open, and grabs her pills from the medicine cabinet. As she struggles to focus her magic on grabbing the pills, her mane gets a crawling feeling like she’s being watched. Her breathing becomes shallow and her heart races as she slowly turns around to see Sunshine standing in the doorway, grinning, looking as hideous as he was the same day she first met him. His sickly green coat, yellow tail, and lustful eyes and smile are all there. Plain as day. Solid as a living pony.

“Hello, darlin’.”

oooOOOooo

The elevator doors to Trixie and Pinkie Pie’s apartment floor lazily slide open and Pinkie Pie walks out with some mail in her mouth, two of which are personal invitations to see Princess Celestia and Shining Armor immediately. Pinkie Pie is already dead tired from all the work she had to do, such as getting the paperwork for passports, scheduling places to stay in Bernese, and making sure that they actually get to Bernese without any interference. But thankfully Ink Well was able set up a way to get there place for her and Trixie to stay, all she really had to do was offer extra money.

Pinkie Pie’s body starts getting an uncomfortable buzz when she sees the door to her apartment open. Not knowing what to expect, she puts the mail by the door, and cracks her back and shakes away the weariness in her. Then she jumps in and sees Trixie in a complete mess by the toilet. Her azure coat is ghostly pale and soaked in tears around her face, she’s trembling, and her mane is a sweaty mess. And the worst of it, she’s digging into her pills like mint candy.

Pinkie Pie’s jaw drops and she’s in front of Trixie in the blink of an eye, wrestling the pills away from Trixie; luckily for her, Trixie is too much of a mess to concentrate on her magic. But that still doesn’t curb her crazy behavior.

“NO! I NEED THEM! I NEED THEM!” screams Trixie through her sobs as Pinkie Pie pushes the pills away from Trixie, causing some of them to spill to the floor.

“You don’t need them!” says Pinkie Pie, trying to yell over Trixie. The distraught unicorn’s crying and thrashing, and all around brutal behavior to get those pills scares Pinkie Pie, so she does the only thing she can do. She hugs Trixie and lets her cry in her shoulder, while gently rocking her and shushing her.

“He’s going to get me!” sobs Trixie, still trying to get to the pills.

“Who’s going to get you?” asks Pinkie Pie; she closes her eyes, thinking that she won’t be able to handle seeing her friend like this.

“Sah-Sunshine! Sunshine... He won’t leave me alone. Why can’t he just leave?” whimpers Trixie. Pinkie Pie sniffles and rubs Trixie’s back, but before she can say anything, she feels Trixie tremble and she hears her mumble: “He’s always there. Always... Always... Always. I NEED THOSE PILLS!”

Trixie lurches forward, catching Pinkie Pie off guard, and she almost grabs the pills that spilled on the floor, but Pinkie Pie is able to get control of her again.

“HE’S GONE WHEN I TAKE THOSE PILLS! LET ME HAVE THEM!” screams Trixie furiously, returning to her vicious behavior. “I NEED THEM!”

Pinkie Pie holds fast, though, and a fast moment of thrashes, screams and insults later, Trixie breaks down into sobs and unintelligible speak; all Pinkie Pie can really get out of it is: “They’re dead!”, and she’s certain she knows who Trixie is referring to.

“I know,” Pinkie Pie says softly while stroking Trixie’s mane and letting her cry into her. “I know.”

Pinkie Pie closes her eyes and leans against the wall, still hugging Trixie, and tears roll down her cheeks as she thinks about all the friends she lost and how she had gotten Spike and so many others killed. Pinkie Pie gulps back her tears and opens her eyes, which are now bloodshot from her silent tears, and looks down at Trixie. She whimpers, closes her eyes again and bangs her head against the wall; now her tears are flowing freely with Trixies. A short while later, Pinkie Pie takes a deep breath and softly sings:

“It's true, some days are dark and lonely

And maybe you feel sad

But I’ll be there to show you that it isn't that bad.”

Pinkie Pie’s hug turns more loving and protective; Trixie is still whimpering and shaking.

“There's one thing that makes me happy

And makes my whole life worthwhile

And that's when I talk to my friends and get them to smile.”

Pinkie Pie looks down, Trixie is still shaking and burying her face in her chest. Pinkie Pie tries to make Trixie looks at her. It doesn’t work.

“I really am so happy

Your smile fills me with glee

I give a smile, I get a smile

And that's so special to me.

'Cause I love to see you beam, beam, beam

Yes I do

Tell me, what more can I say to make you see

That I do

It makes me happy when you beam, beam, beam

Yes, it always makes my day.”

Pinkie Pie strokes Trixie’s mane again, her soft singing seems to be calming the wrecked unicorn down, so she continues.

"Come on everypony smile, smile, smile

Fill my heart up with sunshine-shine-shine

All I really need’s a smile, smile, smile

From these happy friends of miiiiiine.”

Pinkie Pie shifts her position, and she can feel Trixie relax.

“Yes, the perfect gift for me

Is a smile wide as a mile

To make me happy as can be

All you have to do is smile

Smile

Smiiiiiiiiiiile.”

Trixie stops trembling, but is still sniffling and mumbling to herself; however, Pinkie Pie is glad that she has calmed Trixie down this much and continues to hold her. She sighs and bows her head so that it is resting on the top of her friend’s head, humming the Smile Song. She doesn’t care how long it takes, she’ll stay with Trixie until she feels better. Princess Celestia and Shining Armor are just going to have to wait.

=**********=

Shining Armor levitates a folder with the Wonderbolt seal on it and checks its contents. Needless to say he’s very surprised by what he’s seeing. He knows that the pony in front of him has immense talent, and even though she had some problems adjusting to the military structure and taking orders, she quickly got that fixed. Now with her skills on top of military discipline she has been personally recommended by the Wonderbolt higher ups to test the newest piece of technology, courtesy of the team that reverse engineered Roar Shock’s technology. Although his body language is calm and collected, inside he’s prancing around like a colt on a sugar rush. For once something is going right! Out of all the witnesses for his case against the EIB dropping like flies, him getting scolded by Celestia and Cadence for getting drunk, and the bad press, he’s finally getting favorable results from Research & Development. And on top of that, the Wonderbolts handed over their “most promising recruit to date” over to him on a silver platter with next to no questions. He also seemed to have gained some popularity amongst the grunts, too, because apparently he knew how to “party hard”.

Shining Armor puts down the folder, looks up at the mare in front of him and gives her a warm smile.

“It’s been awhile hasn’t it, Rainbow Dash?” says Shining Armor.

Rainbow Dash gets a small smile and nods, but even though she’s in the presence of an acquaintance she’s still nervous; and her nervousness is apparent by her constant shifting and the little beads of sweat rolling down her neck and face. In an attempt to lighten the mood Shining Armor turns back to the paper to look at her achievements.

“Well Rainbow Dash, I have to say that you have an impressive record,” says Shining Armor. “Your scores are in the top ten percent range in just about every section, and they clocked you as the fastest flier in Equestrian history. Probably the fastest flier in the history of the world.”

Rainbow Dash’s smile shifts to a slightly smug one as she relaxes in her seat. “Yeah, I’m pretty awesome.”

Both of them exchange a chuckle, and when she is comfortable being in his office after a casual conversation, Shining Armor has to admit that when he’s actually close up to the pegasus he can see why both genders go after her. Not only does her colorful figure make her stand out in a non-obnoxious way without even trying, but her toned body fits perfectly with her uniform. When she wears her Wonderbolt uniform she gets the perfect mix of badassery and attractiveness.

“So,” says Shining Armor, trying to keep himself from staring at the Element of Loyalty for too long, “now that we are comfortable, let’s get down to business.”

Shining Armor takes a sip from a glass of water he’s keeping by his typewriter.

“Right. So, what’s next?” says Rainbow Dash.

It is at that moment in time that the water he’s drinking decides to take a detour. Shining Armor’s eyes bulge and he coughs up the water, dropping his cup in the process. Rainbow Dash cringes and shrinks back in her seat with her nervousness returning with reinforcements. Shining Armor beats a bubble out of his chest, and when that’s done and over with he leans over, wheezing.

“Oh man! I’m sorry, I don’t-I didn’t mean to make you freak out!” cries Rainbow Dash, now seating like a hot pig.

“It’s fine,” wheezes Shining Armor with a wave of his hoof.

“Please don’t get mad!”

“Rainbow... relax...”

“If I screw this up the others would never forgive me!”

“Airmare Dash, it’s fine!” Rainbow Dash stops, but is still worried sick, while Shining Armor repositions himself. “It’s fine. The water just went down the wrong pipe is all.”

Rainbow Dash nods and tries to keep her cerise eyes locked on him, but she finds that very difficult to do. She can’t help but wonder if she said something... wrong, and for that her eyes keep shifting away from the Captain. Shining Armor, on the other hand, is trying to figure out why fate had decided to embarrass him in front of the pretty mare. Not that he’s ogling her or anything, he’s just wondering why all the embarrassing stuff happens to him when pretty mares and ponies of importance are around.

“You okay?” asks Rainbow Dash uneasily. When Shining Armor doesn’t respond due to him trying to fix himself back to par, the hopeful pegasus frowns sadly and sulks in her seat. “If this is a bad time we can reschedule... or something.”

Shining Armor gets himself back to his normal, proud appearance he smiles casually at Rainbow Dash.

“No, it’s fine,” says Shining Armor, he even chuckles to alleviate the newfound stress between them; but alas, his chuckle doesn’t put the cyan pegasus at ease. “I’m going to ask you some questions, and I need you to answer them truthfully, okay?”

Rainbow Dash nods. “Yes sir.”

“Good. Question one: Are you willing to push yourself above and beyond for the protection of the Royal Family, their subjects, and the Solar Doctrine, the supreme governing document of the Solar Empire of Equestria?”

“Yes sir,” says Rainbow Dash, straightening herself out and trying to show off her pegasus pride by puffing out her chest and ruffling her feathers.

“Question two: The Chrysaor Program requires supreme loyalty to the Program and to the Royal Family. Are you willing to spend your life serving the Royal Family, the Solar Empire Royal Guard, and the Chrysaor Program?”

Rainbow Dash hesitates before she nods and says: “Yes sir.”

~~~~~~~~~~

After nearly an hour of questioning later Rainbow Dash leaves Shining Armor’s office feeling beat, and her nervousness about everything that has happened doesn’t make her feel any better. She’s certain she botched the test, and she knows for a fact that Shining Armor wasn’t impressed when she explained her favoring bull rushing tactic of fighting over slow and time consuming takedowns. Plus, she’s still shaken up about Shining Armor’s reaction to choking on his water, and noticed that he had a funky look the whole time that became more evident when he nearly died from a drinking accident.

Rainbow Dash shrugs it off and makes a mental note to not let Soarin choke on water. Instead of walking down the hall, she decides to take the faster method and fly. Once she’s by the elevator she waits impatiently for the elevator to arrive. She finds herself tapping her hoof on the tile and wishing that there was a balcony nearby so she can just fly out, but there isn’t. It’s like working in a tomb. When the door finally opens, Rainbow Dash pushes back her claustrophobia and is about to step inside, but familiar faces are there; one being a unicorn she never wanted to see again, and the other being the minty green pony she ran into at Klumsy K’s.

Rainbow Dash unfurls her wings and glares at Trixie with clenched teeth. “Pinkie, what are you doing with this little snot!”

Rainbow Dash doesn’t realize how pale Trixie is at the moment, but her words nearly gives the unicorn a heart attack, and the green pony also pales and her eyes widen while trying to push Trixie out of the elevator; but she has to strain herself since Trixie is digging her hooves into the floor and is trying to close the elevator door by frantically hitting the emergency close button.

“I’m not Pinkie Pie, I don’t know what you’re talking about,” she says frantically as she shoves Trixie out of the elevator. Trixie is quick to hide behind the earth pony like a pathetic foal, complete with the drooped ears and shakes.

“I never said ‘Pie’!” says Rainbow Dash, grabbing the pony and looking into her eyes, now ignoring Trixie completely. She can see her reflection plainly in her eyes -the eyes that she knows belongs to Pinkie Pie-, and despite seeing her friend alive and well she’s still pissed off. “What’s the deal, Pinkie!?”

“I’m not ‘Pinkie’! I’m Minty Sprinkles! Candy Associate of Princess Celestia!” says this so-called Minty Sprinkles while showing off her badge.

Rainbow Dash tightens her grip on Minty -no, Pinkie!-, veins now throbbing and her blood boiling.

“Enough with the games, Pinkie!” Then she finds all her anger evaporate and sadness take over. She starts sniffling and shaking, and her voice cracks and grip softens, too. “It’s me, Pinkie. It’s Dashie... Your friend.”

Minty sighs, releases herself from Rainbow Dash, and then she puts her hoof on the pegasus’s chest and gently guides her backwards into the elevator.

“I’m sorry, but I’m not your dead friend,” she says.

Rainbow Dash sits in the elevator, staring at Minty-Pinkie in complete horror and sadness. Has it really come down to this? Has she really renounced everything, even her own name and friends, for what has happened!?

Rainbow Dash tries to push her way out, but the earth pony holds fast, and her desperation increases tenfold when her friend pushes her into the wall and hits the express button to the basement floor.

“Pinkie Pie, ya gotta listen to me! What happened was not your fault!” says Rainbow Dash desperately. “It was not your fault what happened to Spike, okay? Please stop this! I’m begging you, please!”

That seems to have struck a sore spot as she sees Pinkie Pie’s eyes glisten in an instant.

“Goodbye, Rainbow Dash,” says Pinkie Pie, her voice barely above a whisper.

“Pinkie, no!”

Pinkie Pie steps back and the doors slide shut before Rainbow Dash can put a hoof in it.  Rainbow Dash screams Pinkie Pie’s name and when the doors click shut and the whirring and clicking of gears fills the void while Rainbow Dash tries to stop the elevator, but express really did mean express. The elevator picks up its speed and shows no signs of slowing down, and Rainbow Dash screams in a mixture of sadness and frustration as she watches the numbers on the dial drop. Then she swears, punches the wall and slumps to the corner of the elevator and then buries her face in her hoof. A few seconds later, her wings sulk and a small whimper escapes her lips.

oooOOOooo

Pinkie Pie stares at the elevator for a couple more seconds before she wipes her face and looks at Trixie. She’s still looking petrified about what had just happened, and the gathered crowd doesn’t help either of them relax.

“I seem to be running into a lot of old faces in this city,” says Trixie nervously, traumatized by the event.

Pinkie Pie nods her head in agreement and wipes the tears out of her eyes.

“Let’s go see what Shining Armor wants,” says Pinkie Pie

oooOOOooo

Shining Armor stares at the photo taken of him and Cadence when they went to the Crystal Kingdom for their honeymoon. He is wearing his uniform while Cadence is wearing a flowing dress, and they are both smiling lovingly into each other’s eyes while the Crystal City shimmers behind them, adding to the glow they have. He smiles as he remembers the good days, where they laughed and snuggled every chance they got. He remembers how they played games, talked about their day, smiled. Or how she was kind enough to give him back massages every day after work, bringing both of them to smile. The smiles they shared on a daily basis was enough to make him believe in love and the goodness of the world.

He misses the days when ponies smiled and where being a Royal Guard meant protecting Royalty from something as asinine as a pony getting a little too excited. He remembers how ponies smiled and had a great time even after the Changeling attack. He remembers how fear was really just nervousness. Nervous about a job interview. Nervous about a date. Nervous about being in a new place, alone, only for it all to go away with a welcome wagon (in the case of Ponyville, the welcome wagon was apparently a real thing). He remembers it all.

Ponies were honest.

Ponies were kind.

Ponies were generous.

Ponies were loyal.

Ponies were laughing.

All these things were the magical elements that held Equestria together, but what is left now? Liars, haters, thieves, backstabbers, and tears, all disguised to be something better than what once was in a twisted world where everything is believed to be okay because the old morals were not appropriate anymore. Ten years, and it all went to shit.

Shining Armor places his hoof on the picture and traces Cadence’s smile; he wants to smile, but he can’t help but remember when the Equestria he knew started dying.

===

Shining Armor pushed open the door to Celestia’s chambers and cautiously stepped inside to see both, the Princess of the Day and the Princess of the Night, staring at him. Luna was silently fidgeting in her spot and Celestia’s eye shadow and liner were smeared down her cheeks. She had been trying to stay strong by not shedding tears about what had happened, but now that they were out of the public’s eyes and the funeral was over, she’s letting loose.

“Shining, I’m glad you were able to answer my call,” said Celestia, her voice trembling. Luna put a wing over Celestia’s shoulder, but remains silent while Shining Armor stepped forward and noticed a pegasus mare standing in the back, looking stern. Celestia craned her neck and motioned the pony forward. “Brisk Wind, there is no need to shield your presence from Captain Armor.”

Brisk Wind smiled smugly and walked forward, immediately giving Shining Armor a bad vibe. Something about her didn’t sit well with him, but before he could put any thought into it, Celestia spoke.

“Shining, this is Brisk Wind, she’ll be heading the Equestrian Investigation Bureau,” she said, glancing at the newcomer.

“I’m sorry, Princess, but I don’t-”

Shining Armor fell silent when Celestia levitated a thick binder with the EIB seal on it up to him. He used his magic to take the binder and started flipping through the pages. So much stuff was packed into this department that it was hard to comprehend the scope of this sudden agency. Extensive undercover operations, counterespionage, general investigations, protection of government officials, the list went on and on and on.

“Princess, I mean no disrespect... but what is this?” asked Shining Armor as he held the binder up.

“An abomination,” mumbled Luna.

Brisk Wind and Celestia shot her a terrifyingly harsh gaze that made the Captain cringe and Luna avert her eyes.

“Luna please!” snapped Celestia tearfully. “I do not need this from you! Especially now!”

Brisk Wind turned towards Shining Armor. “The recent terrorist attacks have been tragic, and I have been trying to push through a more effective means of protecting Harmony with this gem I call the Equestrian Investigation Bureau. Sadly it took Blueblood’s assassination for Celestia realize that this is what Equestria needs for it’s survival.”

Celestia sniffled and walks towards the balcony to watch the skyscrapers rise in the drabby weather. Their skeletal figures matched the rain clouds covering the sky, and even though they were an eyesore now, everyone knew that when they were done, they will truly show the might of the Solar Empire of Equestria. However, despite the bright future that many were predicting, the most recent terrorist ruined Celestia. It was no secret that Blueblood was a world class jerk, but Celestia still loved him deeply and was so distraught about the shooting that Luna had to raise and lower both celestial objects for a week.

“If I had just listened to the warnings he would still be here,” whispered Celestia.

Brisk Wind walked over to Celestia and rubs her back with her hoof lovingly, but Shining Armor found something sinister about her “comforting”. Like she was only acting like she cared about Celestia’s wellbeing.

“It’s okay, Princess,” cooed Brisk Wind, “we’ll find the sniper and bring them to justice. No matter what.”

Luna watched the two for a few more seconds before she looked at Shining Armor, her facial expressions showing how worried she was about the matter. Shining Armor opened his mouth to speak, but the words wouldn’t leave his mouth, so he went back to looking at the EIB binder. It had the Royal Seal stamped on it the message: “Effective Immediately by Royal Decree”. He opened the binder and looked at another stamp on its inside cover. “Royal Decree 505”.

“Tia has poisoned Equestria,” said Luna quietly, clearly devastated by her sister’s actions.

Shining Armor looked up and saw Luna shuffling out of Celestia’s room with her head and flowing mane down. When the door closed behind her, Shining Armor looked at the binder and then at the devastated Sun Goddess and the newest member of, and possibly the biggest threat to, Equestrian politics.

===

Shining Armor puts the picture down and stares at the Equestrian flag he has in his office. He wants to believe in Equestria, and the ideals of Love, Tolerance and Harmony, but what he’s seeing makes him believe that Luna was a prophet. Equestria was poisoned, and now he fears its nearing its end. One thousand years and the Equestrian way of life will finally die, and from the way things are heading, it’ll go down in flames.

There is a knock on the door and Shining Armor wipes his eyes and tells whoever knocked that the door is open. One of his assistants walks in with two ponies behind her, she introduces them as Minty Sprinkles and Trixie Lulamoon. When Shining Armor sees Trixie he’s so surprised at how much better she looks that his eyes widen, this seems to make Trixie a little uneasy, though. But Shining Armor can’t help it! It looks as though she’s never been injured at all! The scars are gone, bruises are nowhere to be seen, and her curly mane isn’t a mess. The only thing that is really wrong is that she’s pale... very pale. Also, her expression hardens into something that reminds Shining Armor too much of a pissed off Manticore.

But looks and pissed off expressions aside, Shining Armor is glad that she has answered his call. Now all he has to do is see if she’s willing to cooperate with him for his investigation into the EIB.

“Is this about the EIB?” asks Trixie, her voice quivering slightly.

“Yes, Ms. Lulamoon, this is,” says Shining Armor, standing up to meet the two mares. “And you must be her parole officer.”

“That is correct, Captain. You can call me Minty, or Minty Sprinkles, whichever you prefer,” says the mint green pony, forcing a smile.

Shining Armor notices that, aside from the clear anger, Trixie looks saddened, as well as her parole officer.

“Is everything okay?” asks Shining Armor.

“It’s fine,” says Minty, “I have to see Princess Celestia on important business. Take care of Trixie till I get back. Cool. Thanks. Bye.”

And with that, Minty leaves before Shining Armor can say anything and when the door shuts behind her, the remaining two ponies take their respective seats. Trixie can’t bring her eyes to him as she takes a seat, though.

“You watched,” says Trixie in an angry, low voice.

Shining Armor sighs sadly and leans forward to try to look at Trixie’s eyes. “I know... and I know no amount of apologies will fix what I didn’t do, but I can fix this. I can help you if you’ll let me.”

Trixie is silent, so much of her anger and sadness is radiating off of her that is can make anyone in the same room uncomfortable. Shining Armor waits for Trixie to answer, but she doesn’t, she keeps her head down and eyes locked on her hooves. A moment later Shining Armor gets out of his seat and sits on the floor next to Trixie. She turns her head away from him.

“Trixie, please, let me help you,” begs Shining Armor. She glances at him out of the corner of her eye, the negativity almost drives him to leave the office right then and there to think about how much of a horrible pony he is. “Please... let me make this right.”

oooOOOooo

After Pinkie Pie leaves Trixie at Shining Armor’s office, she heads towards the throne room to meet with Celestia. As she walks by the storytelling windows, she notices that unicorns that bear some sort of shield as a cutie mark are encasing the windows in magical shields that shimmers for a few seconds before becoming completely invisible. She momentarily stops to look out the window to watch three of those fancy zeppelins float by; they are like a gliding snake, they all fall in line perfect harmony, and each one has the seal of Equestria on it and containing different bolded quotes:

Peace Through Love.

Power Through Tolerance.

Progress Through Harmony.

“Alright, let’s give it a go!” shouts a maintenance mare to a pegasus.

The pegasus salutes, disappears into the ceiling, and a moment later there is a crackle and the Equestrian national anthem echos in the halls of the palace. It is soothing the way it is played, but it also reminds Pinkie Pie of the music sirens play to lure their victims to their watery graves. Soothing, yet deadly.

She continues her trek, nodding politely to the guards, maintenance crew, and other castle employees along the way, and when she reaches the massive double doors she stops and stares at one of the last ponies she wanted to see. Rarity.

Rarity is sitting down, waiting patiently for someone, and when she sees Pinkie Pie she nods politely at her. Pinkie Pie returns the nod, silently thanking Celestia for her disguise’s effectiveness, and takes a seat across the hall from her former friend. Rarity stares at Pinkie Pie and she looks away, trying to look at anything other than her former friend. A moment later Rarity gets up and takes a seat next to Pinkie and continues her staring.

Pinkie Pie tries to ignore the high maintenance unicorn beside her, but the constant staring is making it increasingly difficult for her to stay focused on not paying any attention to her. Finally, after a couple of minutes of awkward silence on Rarity’s part and silent aggravation for Pinkie Pie, the fashionista decides to speak.

“You look familiar,” says Rarity. Pinkie Pie’s heart skips a beat and she starts to become nervous, fearing that Rarity has seen through her disguise. “I think I saw you at Fancy Entertainment with Trixie.”

Pinkie Pie breathes a mental sigh of relief, but upon Rarity mentioning Trixie, she finds that her heart had once again skipped a beat and she’s back to being nervous; but even moreso now than before. It is no secret that Rarity can get emotional when her good looks are compromised, and when Trixie destroyed her hair... well preventing Rarity from going after the magician with a giant pair of scissors was a chore in itself.

“Who’s Trixie?” asks Pinkie Pie innocently.

“You never heard of the Great and Powerful Trixie?” says Rarity skeptically, being sure to put a generous amount of venom in her tone when mentioning Trixie’s title.

Pinkie Pie taps her chin, pretending to think. “Nope, can’t say I have,” she says while glancing at Rarity, then she looks at the door to see if Celestia’s guest of honor has come out yet. “You must be thinking of Pixie Dust, ponies have been mistaken her for whoever this ‘Trixie’ is.”

Rarity skepticism grows. “Ah, yes, I heard you mention her by that name. But I just wanted to be sure that I was hearing right. The poor thing looked like a mess when I saw her, though.”

“Yeah, she just got out of an abusive relationship so I’m helping her get back on her hooves.”

“Oh, that’s mighty generous of you. We need more ponies like you on this day and age. It seems like decency and friendship is a thing of the past.”

Pinkie Pie’s jaw tightens at Rarity’s words and she scuffs her hoof along the floor, doing everything in her power to keep herself from strangling the fashionista as thank you gift for her “friendship”.

Rarity sees Pinkie Pie’s body tense and her eye twitch slightly, so for safety reasons she scooches away a little.

“Are you okay?” she asks with concern.

“Just peachy,” says Pinkie Pie irritably, “I just have a bug in my eye-and it’s gone!” Before Rarity can say anything Pinkie Pie turns to Rarity and pokes her chest with her hoof. “You’re Rarity right?”

“Pardon?”

“Rarity Belle? Fashion extraordinaire? Element of Generosity? Best friends with former supermodel Fluttershy? Subject to lots of raunchy rumors?”

Rarity blushes furiously at the mention of “raunchy rumors” and tries to hide her face from Pinkie Pie; but even though she’s doing her best to hide her guilt, everyone can see it plain as day. Pinkie Pie flashes vicious, victorious smile at her successful on-the-spot revenge.

“So you are Rarity Belle, that-” Pinkie Pie is interrupted when the massive doors to the throne room swing open and Twilight walks out, looking smug and proud, and walks up to the two. Pinkie Pie hears her alias being called in so she skips out on her original, on-the-spot, mentally-torture-Rarity plan and leaves it at: “Is awesome. By the way, I heard that Madam Stitches just came out with a new line of sewing machines.”

Rarity’s embarrassment dissipates in an instant and she gets a huge smile with sparkles in her eyes as she leans closer. “Really? You must tell me what they are! You must! You must! You must!”

Pinkie Pie smiles. “I don’t remember the name of them exactly, I just know that they are durable. Like really durable. So durable, in fact, that they won’t break.” Pinkie Pie leans closer to Rarity and her innocent smile turns wicked. “Even if you throw them at somepony’s head.”

Rarity’s smile disappears and her ears droop while her coat turns almost pure white from her blood draining from her face. Pinkie Pie turns around and walks towards the chambers, being sure to give Twilight a tail whip to the face as she walks past her, replacing her smug attitude with anger in the blink of an eye.

Twilight glares at Pinkie Pie. “What was that for?”

Pinkie Pie ignores her and looks at Rarity over her shoulder.

“Tell Fluttershy that a fan of hers says ‘Hi’ for me,” says Pinkie Pie before the chamber doors close behind her.

Once the doors close, Pinkie Pie takes a deep breath and approaches the goddess sitting in her fancy throne. Pinkie Pie is a good dozen or so feet away from Princess Celestia when the alicorn raises her hoof and orders her to stop; Pinkie Pie complies and bows.

“Your Majesty,” greets Pinkie Pie, mustering up as much politeness as she can.

“I just talked to my Most Faithful Student, and I had to lie to her,” says Celestia sternly; the tone in the Princess’s voice makes Pinkie Pie wince.

Pinkie Pie stands up. “You sound upset, Princess.”

“That doesn’t begin to describe my mood.”

“Anything I can do to help?”

“For starters you can cut your charade and tell your friends that you aren’t dead.”

Pinkie Pie’s eyes narrow and she steps forward while pointing an accusing hoof at the doors behind her. “You mean your surrogate daughter and her horny friend? Sorry, but I think you’re mistaken. They aren’t my friends anymore, they are just a bunch of fakes.”

“So you have one argument and-”

“You weren’t there!” cries Pinkie Pie while stomping her hoof on the tile with tears clouding her vision. “You don’t what they did! How they treated me! They sucked as friends!”

Celestia steps forward and Pinkie Pie finds her body naturally shrinking back as the alicorn towers over her. “That doesn’t excuse you for playing dead and turning a shell of a pony into your own little puppet! And for what reasons do you do these things? Is it for this ‘threat’ that hasn’t made so much as a peep ever since our victory?” Celestia leans down and glares at Pinkie Pie. “You have managed to convince me to lie to my Most Faithful Student, a pony whom I consider to be a daughter, and all of Equestria just so you can play your little games with Trixie, and I don’t appreciate it!”

Pinkie Pie looks at Celestia defiantly. “Princess, these are not some games we play, the things Trixie does are to help her-”

“You’re going to get her killed!”

“Prepare for what’s coming!”

“And what price are you willing to pay for your paranoia?”

“It’s not paranoia!”

“It is paranoia!”

“I’m trying to save your kingdom!”

“Equestria is fine! It does not need to be saved by you or your puppet!” Pinkie Pie falls silent as Celestia looks down at her. “What you’re doing now is not right and will lead to dire consequences! And you slipping up is not helping your game! Did you know that the EIB is asking questions about ‘Minty Sprinkles’?”

“What?”

“How about knowing that Rainbow Dash knows that your alive? Or that Rarity has already seen Trixie?”

“Celestia, I-”

“I don’t want to hear it! You’re not only toying with your friends, your family and with me, but you are puppeting the life of somepony who thinks she has freedom! Cruelty at its best.” Pinkie Pie winces again and Celestia starts pacing around her, her voice getting more and more angry by the second. “What will you do when your past catches up, hmm? Will you fake another death? Find another drifter to manipulate? The Elements of Harmony trusted you to be Laughter and the only joke I’m seeing is the one your playing on the lives of others!”

With that, Celestia stomps her hoof on the tile in front of Pinkie Pie, making a deafening BOOM that echoes in the throne room and hurts the earth pony’s ears. Celestia stares at Pinkie Pie, waiting for an answer, and when she doesn’t get one, she snorts and goes back to her throne and watches Pinkie Pie look at the floor in silence.

“You have two days to tell your friends you aren’t dead.”

Pinkie Pie’s full attention snaps back to the Sun Goddess. “What! But Princess-”

“Either you tell them, or I tell them! If you tell them then I’ll see to it that Trixie Lulamoon is pardoned of her vigilantism and I’ll make sure your back is properly taken care of ahead of schedule.”

“And if I don’t?”

“Trixie Lulamoon will be punished to the full extent of the law and you’ll have your turn for surgery docked two months. The choice is yours.”

Pinkie Pie glares at the Sun Goddess and her jaw tightens as she stands up.

“So let me see if my ears are working right,” says Pinkie Pie dangerously. “You -the benevolent, thousand year ruler and master of the sun- is blackmailing me -a loyal subject doing everything in her power to save your kingdom- into announcing my true identity, even though it will put Octavia and my father at risk from the very same ponies that are plotting Equestria’s destruction?”

Celestia nods, still holding her harsh gaze, and Pinkie Pie scoffs and starts pacing in circles.

“Unbelievable,” she mutters; she stares at the princess with eyes that would bore into the soul of any normal pony. “Unbelievable! Just please, pretty please, tell me that if I do this ‘willingly’ you’d at least let Trixie have her inheritance.”

“No,” says Celestia sharply.

“No?”

“Eclipse Lulamoon was a criminal, so the money in his inheritance was obtained by illegal means. Think of us taking Trixie’s inheritance as a means of us reclaiming our property.”

“That’s five million bits you’re stealing from her!” yells Pinkie Pie furiously while stomping on the ground. “Since when are you a dirty, grubbing, diamond doggy thief, huh?”

“The money was obtained unlawfully! Anything purchased by Eclipse Lulamoon and his associates must be reclaimed by the state, as stated by the Solar Doctrine. Any piece of property or sum of bits that was in Eclipse’s will was never his to begin with, therefore it wasn’t his to give to Trixie.” Pinkie Pie opens her mouth to speak, but Celestia interrupts her. “Before you say anything about my actions being cruel, take a look at yourself. We are merely taking back what is ours, while you are manipulating a lost soul for your own gain.”

Celestia’s horn lights up and Pinkie Pie watches the double doors gradually swing open out of the corner of her eye. Then Celestia stands up and approaches Pinkie Pie once more, her stern demeanor becoming impossibly more imposing.

“Our conversation is over. Tell your friends that you are alive themselves and this madness will end and nopony else will suffer from your mistakes.”

Those last words stabbed Pinkie Pie in the heart and all she can think about is Spike dying on her back.

“I think I’m ready... for a nap.”

Those words -Spike’s last words to her- bring tears to her eyes and the painful memory causes her legs to give out on her and make her sit on her haunches. Pinkie Pie’s eyes are wide and now have tears flowing freely and trickling down to the floor, her jaw is agape and she’s breathing heavily, like someone punched the air out of her. Celestia’s stern gaze melts into that of shock when she realizes what she had just said. Celestia, now guilt ridden, steps forward and tries to put her hoof on Pinkie Pie’s shoulder.

“Pinkie, I-” starts Celestia.

Pinkie Pie slaps the hoof away, crying quietly. “You’ve made your point.”

oooOOOooo

Celestia looks down, whole body sulking, as Pinkie Pie silently leaves the throne room, and when the doors shut, she sighs heavily and slouches on her throne, no longer caring about her “royal appearance”.

A minute or two of moping later, the door opens up again and a couple of her Royal Guards step in -one donned in armor for high ranking officers and the other just being a lowly recruit- and bow when they’re a respectable distance away.

“Your Majesty, the found copies of ‘The Lunar Republic’ have been destroyed, as per your orders,” says the Royal Guard donned in officer armor. The guard is an aged unicorn with an average build and an amber coat with a dark brown mane and tail with streaks of gray running through them. His cutie mark is a shield with a sword through it.

“Thank you, Major Fuller,” says Celestia, mentally breathing a sigh of relief of having some good news while turning her head to keep her tears hidden.

“Are there any other orders for me to tend to?”

“The throne room is off limits for the rest of the day,” says Celestia quietly; she stands up, spreads out her wings and her whole body becomes encased in a warm glow, although the despair in her tone contradicts the said glow. “I’ll be in my quarters for the rest of the evening. I do not want to be disturbed.”

And with that, she disappears in a flash of light that can easily be compared to a tiny supernova, momentarily filling the throne room with blinding, colorful light. And when all the light is gone Celestia is nowhere to be seen.

=**********=

The very first thing Shining Armor does after getting home from work is he locks himself in his home office where his audio recorder and safe of records lie. He clicks the device on and watches the tapes spin with a comforting whir, then he sighs and opens his mouth to speak, but closes it and shuts off his recorder. A moment passes before he tries again.

“This is Shining Armor’s journal entry...” he proceeds to saying rest of the intro before he falls silent for a moment. He takes a deep breath and exhales slowly. “Today was a train wreck. An act for the state to take control of the media was introduced to the Solar Council. The ‘Media Neutrality Act’ is what it was called, and Luna was upset -very upset- about this, and it led to a nasty argument between her and Celestia. Luna has always been the emotional one, but I... I’ve never seen her -or Celestia- like this. Not since Blueblood’s assassination anyway. I was actually called to personally escort Luna out, but she teleported away before I could arrive.”

Shining Armor pauses and looks at another photo of him, Cadence, Twilight, and of her friends at their wedding. When the picture fails to give him a sense of comfort he turns back to his audio recorder.

“On a somewhat lighter note. I interviewed Rainbow Dash for the Chrysaor Program and that mare has some issues. She has the base qualities that Major Fuller, Celestia, and I are looking for in the Program, but jeez, she freaks out easily in an interview. For instance, I choked on some water and she thought it was her fault. I’m just hoping that when the psyche tests come up that she’ll be well enough to pass. It would be a shame not to have her in because of... stage fright? I remember Twilight -no, Rarity- talking about how Rainbow Dash has stage fright. But speaking of Twilight, I haven’t seen much of her; she’s heading back to Ponyville today while Rarity is going to go to Applewood. I blame my job and workaholism for not seeing enough of her.”

Shining Armor’s ear twitches when he hears the floor creak and he looks behind him to make sure that no one is behind him; unfortunately for him, Cadence is there. His blood drains from his face when he sees her levitating a cup of coffee and a cup of tea. After that horrendous morning where he felt like he was poisoned by his precious drink he’s compelled to not drink anything coffee related offered by Cadence.

“See? I told you didn’t need two offices,” says Cadence with a warm smile and levitating the cup of coffee to him. “Aren’t you glad we turned the other office into that guest room with the horrible carpet?”

Not wanting to be rude, Shining Armor thanks her and takes the cup of coffee, hoping that it doesn’t taste like death this time. When he sips it, it doesn’t taste bad, but not good either. That means that it was Twilight who destroyed his cup of coffee that fateful day. He makes a mental note to never let Twilight touch anything coffee related ever again.

“You okay, Shining?” asks Cadence. “You look a little... sick.”

Shining Armor sighs, puts his cup of coffee down. “Just a weird day at work. You really should talk to Luna, Cadence. I think she needs some comforting.”

“I’d love to, but we’re not that close, unfortunately,” says Cadence as she sips her tea. “She keeps avoiding me.”

“You do the same, too.”

“I just don’t want to be a victim of her pranks again.”

“But isn’t she family? Couldn’t you forget about the bubble wrap or the cannon to talk to her?”

“Yeah, but I find her archaic way of talking a little aggravating. It’s like she’s stuck in the past, and when you add in how weird she can get... well it makes it a bit hard to be around her.”

Shining Armor arches an eyebrow as he listens to his wife complain about her relative. A relative that won a beauty pageant, even though she was an audience member.

“I mean, one moment she’s all intellectual about political philosophy and the next, she’s acting like a child,” complains Cadence.

“This is coming from a mare who does those rump bumps with Twilight whenever you two see each other and always wants me to play games meant for foals,” says Shining Armor with a teasing grin.

Cadence frowns and pokes Shining Armor in the chest with her hoof, saying: “Hey, those are fun and nonlethal.”

Shining Armor holds up his hoof defensively and Cadence continues on with her list of grievances against Luna. Most of them seem reasonable, but a part of Shining Armor can’t really blame Luna. After all, there is no telling how one will act after being stuck on a gray, floating rock a million miles away from any contact for a thousand years. However, there are two stories that make him laugh every time. The first is about Luna launching Cadence from a canon and miscalculating where to put the pillows. Due to Cadence’s weak flying she couldn’t do much but land in a pond that desperately needed cleaning. The other is about when Cadence and Celestia tried to stop Luna from abusing the power of bubble wrap. Apparently it was a traumatic experience for everyone and led to bubble wrap being banned in the castle and Luna being banished to the moon for a month.

“So, how was work?” asks Cadence suddenly.

Shining Armor finishes the last of his mediocre coffee.

“Well,” begins Shining Armor while setting aside his cup of coffee, “aside from coming to the throne room post-sibling argument, interviewing Rainbow Dash for a special project, and finding a witness brave enough to testify against the EIB... boring.”

“Care to elaborate?”

“I’m not at liberty to discuss my work.”

Cadence puts on a cute pouting face, complete with the bambi eyes and drooped ears.

“But I’m your wife and you love me a lot,” whines Cadence playfully.

“Yeah, I know,” sighs Shining Armor, “but I have to deal with classified information, so I can’t talk about it.”

“But you never talk about your work, and I’m worried that you bottling up all that stress is going to make you snap.”

“I don’t ‘bottle it up’, I got my hoffy-dandy recorder right there.”

Shining Armor smiles reassuringly as nods towards his audio recorder and Cadence frowns.

“That’s not what I meant,” she says sadly. “I meant that we don’t spend as much time together as we used to.”

“What can I say? Duty calls,” says Shining Armor with a shrug.

“...Would you talk to me if I gave you a massage?”

Shining Armor’s ears perk up and he gets a raging blush in an instant. Cadence smiles proudly at her easy achievement, but Shining Armor quickly folds his forehooves over his chest and looks away with his eyes shut. But his blush doesn’t go away, it actually gets worse.

“Nope, not going to do it,” he says.

“But it’s been years since you last got a massage,” says Cadence seductively. “You know you want it.”

Shining Armor feels shivers up his spine, and he opens one eye to see his wife grinning at him with bedroom eyes, prompting his hormones to spike and beg him to jump her. The only reason he isn’t though, is because he still has some control over his body. Besides her mane isn’t wet; if her mane was wet then it’d be a whole other ball game. Wet manes and mares in uniforms have always been long time fetishes of his, and his wife is irresistible with the former while the latter is something that is best left for imagination.

“I-I know, stammers,” Shining Armor, “but you won’t get anything. Besides, I’m not in the mood for a massage.”

Cadence frowns, gets up with an annoyed sigh, and leaves without another word.

“You... Are you mad?” asks Shining Armor pathetically, ears drooping.

The door slams shut and Shining Armor whines and starts banging his head on his desk.

“Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!”

When he’s done banging his head, his word is spinning, his head feels like it’s going to crack open, and he hears water running over the ringing in his ears. Shining Armor groans and rubs his head, now feeling stupid for nearly giving himself a concussion. That is the last thing he needs, especially now that he actually has an undeniable victim of the EIB. He needs to be at the top of his game! He needs to stop staring at his wife and her soaking mane!

Shining Armor’s jaw drops as he watches his wife walk into his office with her eyes half lidded and a devilish smirk on her face. Her candy colored mane is soaked and hanging over her shoulders and partially covering her eye. She flings some of the wet mane out of her eye, splashing a little bit on Shining Armor, who can now barely sit still, and walks towards him in a very provocative sway.

Shining Armor gulps when Cadence’s wet, pinkish body rubs up against him as she sits on his lap. He personally finds the position awkward, but he doesn’t think about it much since his wife’s eyes are locking on to his, and how can he resist them? Also, he can feel the excitement build up between them. At long last they will have some quality time together! But even though every fiber in his body wants to go at it, his mind is doing a great job of convince him to build up the moment.

Cadence pushes herself into Shining Armor, soaking his uniform with her mane and body, and they rub their noses together. The battle between mind and body is quickly going into the body’s favor as Shining Armor feels the blood from his brain go to the more private part of his body. That and his hooves are trembling slightly.

“How about now?” whispers Cadence.

“Tell you now?” says Shining Armor with an eager chuckle as he finds his forehooves acting on their own accord, stroking the voluptuous curves on his wife. Even his hindlegs are rubbing against her flank, more specifically, her crystal heart and gold laced cutie mark. These motions make his wife quiver on her spot on his lap and biting her lip to stifle a moan, bringing a smile to his face. “But I don’t want to.”

“Oh really?”

Then Cadence presses her lips against Shining Armor’s and pushes her tongue into his mouth. Shining Armor’s eyes widen from the sudden and yet pleasant intrusion, but relaxes since he’s loving it. His wife’s tongue tastes like strawberry taffy to him and the way she’s moaning in his mouth is making his body tremble and resisting the primal urges all the more painfully difficult.

A minute or two -or three, or four, who knows?- of snogging later, Cadence pulls away from him, leaving a thin trail of saliva between the two. Both of them are panting and blushing, and Shining Armor’s heart is beating way too fast for him to sit still. He hugs his wife and she lets out a squeal and giggle and hugs him around his head. She closes her eyes and moans as Shining Armor presses his mouth against her chest and leaves a trail of loving kisses from her chest, up to her neck, and eventually to her lips. Then his tongue jolts into Cadence’s mouth. Cadence lets out a surprised moan and her eyes open while wings unfurl a bit, but, just like with Shining Armor, she relaxes and lets her husband’s tongue explore her mouth.

After hungrily making out for an unknown amount of time Shining Armor pulls away, both of them panting harder and flushing brighter than before, and he and Cadence smile at each other.

“How about now?” says Cadence, putting on her best sultry voice between her panting.

Shining Armor uses sheer willpower to tap his chin and think about the appropriate response. It doesn’t take him long to find one. He closes his eyes and shakes his head. “Nah”

“So, that’s how we’re going to do it, huh?” Cadence slides off of Shining Armor and uses her magic to push him to the ground. Shining Armor tries to stand up, but gives up when he feels all four of Cadence’s hooves press against his back, hard. He winces as he feels her hooves dig into his back and he looks up at Cadence, she still has her irresistible wet mane bedroom look. “Maybe a massage will make you talk.”

Shining Armor feels her press her hooves against his back and it feels like someone is grinding weights against him. It’s painful at first, but the pain subsides and a relaxation takes over. His body goes slack and he stretches out his hooves while resting his head on the floor; his eyes become half lidded and his tongue lolls out. He hasn’t had a massage in a while and although her hard pressing and kneading is painful at first, they are quickly replaced with a relaxing feeling that makes his muscles feel like jelly and gives him a floating feeling.

“Best... interrogation... ever,” he says dreamily.

“Mmhm,” says Cadence, her smile becoming more devilish as she continues her four hoofed kneading. “Wow, you’re as twisted as a pretzel.”

Shining Armor glances at Cadence out of the corner of his eye with a fake unimpressed look. He’s really surprised that he’s managed to hold out so long, but knows that it’ll be worth it in the end when he can move from his massage.

“Really?” he says. “Out of all the metaphors out there you just had use the most common and lamest one there is?”

“Well what did you want me to say?” asks Cadence in a teasing tone. “‘You’re as twisted as Chrysalis?’?”

“...That would be an interesting metaphooooor-kay then.”

Cadence had used her magic to turn her husband on his back and is now using her magic to take off his uniform and carelessly toss it away. When Shining Armor is in his birthday suit Cadence lays on top of him and grins as she looks into his adorable blue eyes. Her tail flicks playfully as she licks her lip, loving the way he’s bright red face is staring back at her and how his thumping heart is the loudest part of him. When she strokes his chest, he shudders and she smiles.

“Comfy?” she asks in a sultry whisper. Shining Armor nods and she puts on a cute pout face. “Will you tell me about your work now?”

“Nope, nothing you say or do will get me to talk,” says Shining Armor, his eager smile stretching to the max; but his body is telling him to screw the talking and show the lady a good time.

“Not even more of this?”

Cadence presses her lips against Shining Armor’s mouth, sending electric shivers up his spine. That does it. The dam crumbles and all the hormones flood his mind and take over his whole body. He growls hungrily and turns Cadence on her back, making her let out a loud, surprised yelp, and when she’s on her back he traps her between his hooves.

“You’ve been asking a lot of questions, Mi Amor. Are you a spy?” says Shining Armor.  Cadence opens her mouth to speak, but can only let out a moan as Shining Armor presses his lower body into her and drags his tongue across her neck and into her mouth. She wraps her forehooves around his neck and keeps him locked in her mouth while her hind legs are pointing straight up.

Shining Armor pulls away and Cadence gasps: “Yes.” Another deep kiss. “Punish your spy!”

Shining Armor dives right in. His wife shuts her eyes and her moan is lost in his mouth. When he drags his mouth away from Cadence’s and goes down her neck her moan practically turns into a scream. He leaves a trail of kisses on her neck and down her chest, and when he gets lower he feels his wife press her hoof against his shoulder to guide him lower while encouraging him to go lower between her pants and moans.

Then his ear twitches when he hears the door creak open over Cadence’s moans and when he looks up he immediately swears and gets off of Cadence. And she looks up and also gasps and blushes, and she scrambles to her feet. Shining Armor quickly positions Cadence so that she is lying on his lap to cover the part of his body his sister should not be seeing. This makes it uncomfortable for both of them, especially Shining Armor, and they both try to act like they weren’t about to have sex in the office. However, both of them know that it’s a lost cause since they are covered in each other’s sweat, are panting, have ruffled manes and tails, and Shining Armor’s uniform is all over the floor.

“Twilight, what are you doing here?” asks Shining Armor, trying -and failing- to hide his panic.

Twilight’s purple coat gets a noticable shade of red around her cheeks and ears and she stammers: “Oh... sorry... I was, um, going to say my farewells before heading back to Ponyville... but... um... you guys look a little busy, so I’ll just leave this here and be on my way. Bye!”

Twilight tosses a wrapped box on the floor and slams the door shut. Shining Armor and Cadence stare at is as they hear Twilight scamper down the stairs, and when they hear the front door close they both release breathes they had no idea they were holding. Shining Armor slumps over Cadence while her whole body goes slack. The mood has been butchered and there is no way for them to get it back. All of their arousal is gone for the night. Heck probably gone for the rest of the week... or even the rest of the month.

“Well that killed the mood,” grumbles Cadence as she fixes her mane, looking very annoyed about the incident.

“Yeah,” agrees Shining Armor. Then a disturbing thought crosses his mind. “Shouldn’t’ve Twilight heard us?”

Cadence’s eyes widen and she looks at Shining Armor and he looks at her, matching her shocked expression.

“You wanna go by tickets for Monte’s show?” asks Cadence quickly, preferring not to think about something that would make an awkward moment even more awkward.

“Now that’s a fantastic idea!”

And the loving couple gets up and they quickly -and awkwardly- leave the office, forgetting to turn off the audio recorder.