Chapters Dear Idiots,
How's life been during the Summer Holidays so far? My one's been kinda boring but I get great nap times. My bro Bionic Blitz is in Spain performing in an orchestra so there's no random science lesson in the middle of the night about flapping butt cheeks.
Anywho, life's still as odd as usual and nothing much has changed. I guess I'll see you all at PGL when we return to Canterlot Academy!
From Rainbow Dash
P.S.Has Pinkie gotten ANY fatter? Like at all?
Dear MC5,
Life's been okay here in Sweet Apple Acres. We got a new herd of cows so there will be more MOOMOOS Rainbow. By the way, I got a new sister last week and w decided to name her Applebloom. Hopefully she won't be a pain in the ass like those smiling piles of shit in Ponyville Prep.
We had a major harvest yesterday and got a lot of apples for Cider Season so I look foward to seeing you guys there! I'll give you all a free drink so don't worry about having to pay. The only pony you kind of have to decieve is Granny Smith. She may be old but she can still be quite sharp and alert.
I'll see you all sooner or later!
From Applejack
Dear Ponies/People/Living Things(that's what she said) /What Are You?/Whatevs
So, I see that Dashie is interested in our lives! Well let me tell you Dashie...you don't need to know anything.
JUST KIDDING!
Why shouldn't I tell you anything? Well, I mean we're telling you guys on paper but we're not talking face to face right? The only problem is that the mailpony's so clumsy he always posts the wrong things in our boxes but sometimes I read other pony's letters because I'm always curious to know what's going on with my friends! I do get some mixed reactions sometimes but that's not the problem! The mail pony is just sloooooooooow. I think it's because he goes to The Applejack Daniel Pub every night cos I see him there whenever I finish a whole stock of apple juice. That's right, if I don't do that he isn't there.
Back to the point. My life is great! I got a new pet aligator and I named him ZE DESTROYA OF WORLDZ but I thought that that was too much of a mouthful so I came up with a nickname: Gummy (It's because he has no teeth! Don't tell anyone else except for the 671 ponies I've already mentioned him to).
I'm also going on a quest! The brave quest to create...
...Mr Chicken Pie
That's right folks: I am going to make a chicken OUTTA PIE!
JUST SO YOU KNOW HE IS NOT MY BROTHER.
I've already finished the body and that took 267 pies. It took longer than I had originally thought because I didn't know how to glue the pieces together so in the end I just squashed them all together. The pies don't look appetising anymore but I tried a piece and it was okay. It wasn't as good as it was before though (maybe because I ate the butt) so whatevs!
I can't wait to see all of you Ponies/People/Living Things(that's what she said) /What Are You?/Whatevs again!
From ZE OWNER OF ZE DESTROYA OF WORLDZ
A.K.A. Pinkie Pie
P.S. And no Dashie! I haven't gotten any fatter!
Dear Friends,
Thank you for reading my letter to you all. I really appreciate it! But if you don't want to read, that's okay...I'm not stopping you for making your choice, hopefully! I'm sorry! I really didn't want to bother you all. It's just that I've received letters from you all and I just wanted to write back! I didn't want to be rude...
Well, my life is still joyous with my animals and I'm having a great time with them! The only problem are the stink bugs... How do I get them to stop farting? Does anyone know? Even the Internet is useless! The stink bugs told me that they just fart randomly! I fear that his butt may have a few problems since the air just comes out (apparently, the fart is obliged to come out otherwise they get sick). I've already studied their butts and the hole is so small! Maybe it's something they eat! I don't know!
That's all I have to say so...bye...
From Fluttershy
Dear Friends,
Can all of you stop filling up the chatroom?! I do NOT want to read all of your nonsense stories when I'm in this situation! I thought I told ALL of you that I'm attending fashion week! This time it's in England so I won't be home for a week as you can guess!
Yes, I may be out of town but all of you must not stuff my phone with loads of crap like Pinkie Pie! In fact, Pinkie! ZIP YOUR MOUTH! You're wasting THIRTY DOLLARS just to send a random messages to us that doesn't even matter. Also, may I remind you all, if you don't let me attend fashion week in peace, then I will not be making any of your Nightmare Night costumes! That's right Rainbow! You won't be able to sneak around at night to prank ponies!
Now, all of you SHUT UP!
From your annoyed friend, Rarity
P.S. I think I will be going to PGL after all...
Chapter 1 - Back Together
The Summer Holidays were over and school had restarted. But MC5 still had some more fun before school really started for them: they were about to head off to a trip called PGL . Also known as P arents G et L ost.
PGL was a school activity trip, where you spend most of your time outside appreciate nature. There were also fun activities like the 'Giant Swing', 'Ziplining' and other fun events. Everyone was excited about going on the trip. Well, almost everyone.
"I DON'T WANT TO GO!" cried Fluttershy as she rolled into a ball.
"Ugh," grunted Rainbow, "why do I have to be back with these idiots?" She then beckoned Applejack over and she picked Fluttershy in her 'ball' form and carried her into the coach. Fluttershy began to whimper, very loudly.
"You should be happy ya know," Applejack said in a loud voice,"We're spending most of our time outside with plants and animals and have a decent place to sleep."
"Also," began Rainbow as she cut some duct tape and stuck it onto Fluttershy's mouth," we don't have our parents nagging us about safety and to do this and that in the house." She then placed Fluttershy by the window seat and Rainbow sat next to her with her legs stretched out to stop Fluttershy from escaping.
"Now be a good girl and stay at your seat for the next hour," said Rainbow in a reassuring voice as she patted Fluttershy's head,"otherwise I'll eat Angel."
Fluttershy flinched and then sat in her seat quietly and stopped whimpering.
"Wait, you eat bunnies?" asked Applejack as she held her tummy.
"They're pretty good," said Rainbow casually. "Well, in France that is, and not to mention snails and frogs." she added as whilst smirking at Applejack.
"Alright, you can shut up now!"
"Hey guys!" shouted a voice from behind.
"Pinkie Pie?" asked Applejack as she looked behind her.
"Well duh," Pinkie said as she folded her arms. "I'm not very happy y'know!"
"Why?" asked Rainbow as she thought of something else.
"Because NO ONE GREETED ME!" Pinkie shouted then stomped her feet on the ground and huffed.
"Also, how are you on the coach already? I swear I didn't see anyone when we got on!" Rainbow asked whilst yawning.
Her mood suddenly changed and she smiled. "There is such a thing as hiding you know!" said Pinkie as she got a newspaper out of nowhere and started reading it.
"Besides, where's Rarity?" asked Applejack as she looked out of her window.
"Oh, she got her own private coach," said Pinkie as she checked the location of Rarity on her phone. "She already halfway there."
"Typical," said Rainbow as she yawned loudly. "Well, this droopy eyes needs to take a nap so all of you be quiet for an hour and watch Fluttershy while you're at it."
Fluttershy whimpered and frantically shook her head at Applejack. Applejack just rolled her eyes, walked towards Fluttershy, and duct-taped her legs and arms.
"This way I won't have to do anything," muttered Applejack.
Not long afterwards, other people in their grade began to board the coach and Rainbow was still awake because Fluttershy kept on struggling and hit her head, twice.
Finally, as if it were a miracle for Rainbow Dash, the doors of the coach closed and it finally set off. That was when Rainbow released Fluttershy from torture. As soon as she got rid of the duct tape from Fluttershy's mouth, Fluttershy got up and was about to go towards the driver but a strong hand grabbed her wrist but she was willing to listen with what her friend had to say.
"If you don't want to go to PGL then think about what you're wasting," Rainbow said in a serious tone. "You're wasting the chance to have new experiences; you're wasting the chance to see new things; you're wasting the chance to spen time with us; and you're wasting your parents money, the money that they paid to enable you to go on this trip. If you"re going to waste that, then that's not very nice, is it?"
Fluttershy thought for a while but reluctantly decided to sit back in her seat. Rainbow's message really hit her.
"Rainbow's maturing very well isn't she?" Applejack whispered to Pinkie whilst smiling.
"She's growing up to be like me!" Pinkie said proudly.
"No Pinkie, you're just very odd," said Applejack as she rolled her eyes, "who knows what you eat everyday..."
Chapter 2 - Shenanigans Begin
"We're here OH MY GOD!" squealed Pinkie as she jumped out of her seat and shouted into a classmates ear. "I'm going to get candy and streamer and balloons and all sorts of stuff to celebrate! And then-" everyone looked at her. "Okay, I'll be quiet," said Pinkie with an innocent look.
Everyone got off the bus and got their luggage and went into Bethany House to check into their rooms. They met Rarity there and she was already sweating crazily. She obviously had no experience with being outside without a fan and being parched. Applejack, of course, sniggered as she watched Rarity suffer pain.
When they received a list to see who they were roommates with, Rainbow sighed heavily and facepalmed three times.
"What is it darling?" asked Rarity as she peered at Rainbow's list.
"I have to share my room with some girls from the Soarin fan club!" Rainbow complained as she scrunched up her paper and threw it in the bin behind her. "Who even cares about relationships when they're just eleven years old anyway?!" Rainbow shouted as she flaunted her arms around.
The Soarin fan club was a big group of girls that had extreme crushes on Soarin, the most popular boy at school. Mostof them didn't like Rainbow Dash because she was the girl that Soarin would talk to most of the time. And to make matters worse, some of the older kids in the school would sometimes ship them and annoy the both of them just for fun. In summary, the most of Soarin fan club were mortal enemies with Rainbow Dash (which is about one hundred and twenty girls).
"Well, at least I'm your roommate, right?" said Fluttershy in a reassuring voice.
"I guess so..." Rainbow sighed, "I'll see all of you guys later."
Then, both of them walked towards their nightmare room to unpack.
"So who are your roommates Applejack?" asked Rarity in a sarcatstic voice.
"I think you already know," she replied. "You and Pinkie."
"Yay!" squealed Pinkie as she jumped and confetti exploded everywhere.
"Alright, let's unpack girls," said Rarity as she began to walk towards their room. "I've been wanting to shower ever since I got here!"
"Well you shower three times a day so I don't know what to say," said Applejack flatly.
Rainbow and Fluttershy got to their room and Rainbow was already dead. The school teachers are idiots! she thought.
"Well, well, if it isn't Rainbow Dash," said an evil voice from the back. "Have you and Soarin broken up yet? Or am I just too beautiful to make him unable to ask you out?"
"Alright, Jewel, you can shut up or I'll ask Soarin to say 'I hate you' in your face.," Rainbow said with a smirk.
"You know what," Jewel said, avoiding the subject. "You and I are rivals for his love, so why am I even speaking to you?"
Rainbow began to laugh and everyone was just sitting back and watching the fight. "Firstly, Soarin and I aren't the best two people to ship otherwise the workd would end. Secondly, we're just childhood friend so of course we get along! And finally, we both don't like snobs like you so to be honest, your love life is a lie."
Everyone then shouted (including Fluttershy) "OOOOOH GET REKT!"
Precious Jewel was about to throw a tantrum. "Well I don't care! I have the second best grades in school and all the boys fall for me so I will win him at some point!"
"How long do you reckon that will be?" Rainbow asked with a grin from ear to ear.
"DON'T TALK TO ME!" she yelled and then she locked herself in the bathroom.
There was then an awkward silence.
"That was anticlimactic..." Rainbow said as she went to her bed and began to unpack.
"So what are you going to do with Jewel?" Fluttershy asked as she sat next to me.
"I know what I'm going to do, but I'll need a lot of candy," said Rainbow diabolically.
"Oh my gosh the beds are soooooo fluffy!" Pinkie kept on saying over and over again as she rolled into a caterpillar in her duvet.
"We get the point!" Applejack said again in an annoyed tone. "Can we just unpack?"
When everyone finished unpacking, there was a knock on the door.
"Come in!" shouted Pinkie as she licked her lollipop that came out of nowhere.
Rainbow then walked in with a big sack behind her. "Hey guys!" she greeted them.
"Why are you here," asked Rarity, "and why do you have a giant sack of... whatever it is behind you?"
"I'm actually here for Pinkie," said Rainbow, ignoring the questions.
"Yes?" Pinkie asked, as she finished eating her lollipop as well as the plastic stick.
"Will you do me a favour and prank Jewel and her 'minions?'" Rainbow asked as she pointed to her room opposite to theirs.
"Sure," said Pinkie happily, "but for a price," she added in a serious tone while looking at the sack behind her.
"Do one of the heavy ones," Rainbow smirked as she threw the sack in front of her. Pinkie scurried down the bunk bed and looked in the sack. "I have spotted heaven!" she sang.
"Ten bags of 10kg candy," Rainbow said, "It's pretty cheap here since they have to make the price available for kids. Make it count."
"Yessir!" said Pinkie in a low voice while saluting to Rainbow who was exiting the room.
"Why woukd you want to prank Jewel?" Rarity asked. "Are you the only one who wants this to happen?"
"Er, excuse me m'am but that bitch needs to learn her lesson," Rainbow said flatly. "Just so you know, Soarin contributed to the candy as well. I'm not alone in this." Then she left.
"So what are you gonna do?" asked Applejack in a worried tone.
Pinkie laughed deviously, "My worst prank in the world..." she said while looking at her whipped cream.
"The Demonic Sacrifice..."
