Wartime, Pt. 1

Warthog's POV....

We entered in a large chamber with what looked like beds and a hit tub. This a spa? Well I don't think they have anything for me, did feel good in here though.

"So, want to relax while we talk or what?" Celestia asked me.

"I guess so." I said.

"Good, girls relax in the hotub while me and Warthog talk." Celestia smiled happily.

"Sister, can I go with them?" Luna looked pleadingly.

"Of course Luna! Go enjoy yourself." Luna did a cannonball into the nearby pool.

"Now, questioning." Celestia looked at me with a smile.

After some already said annoying questions.....

"So, do you go by anything else other than Warthog?" Celestia was writing my answers down.

"Well, there 'The Cross of Death', 'The Hand of God', 'The Thunderbolt', 'Tank Buster' and many others, but those are a few." I staded proudly.

"Those are pretty meanesing names, next, are you male or female?"

"Ummm.....male?"

"Good, do you eat?"

"Yeah but I don't starve or die of thirst."

"Impressive! Now, what are your intentions here?"

"I'm not hostile, might be trapped here anyway."

"Good, can you mate?"

"Exscuse me?"

"Um, can you mate?

"I......guess?"

"OK, what is that on your muzzle?"

"My fake shark mouth?"

"Fake shark mouth?"

"Intimidation mostly."

"Your intimidating enough, don't you think?"

"I suppose so."

"Alright, are you the only one here?"

"Yeah, I'm the only one here."

"OK, that's enough questioning, now, let's go introduce you to Equestria!" She sounded so happy.

"......what......." Well shit.

"We got to introduce you to the ponies so they don't take you as a monster!" She sounded like a having monster.

"Alright, when will I meet the ponies then?" I was starting to feel uncomfortable.

"In about 10 minutes." She was smiling, trying to stifle my anxiety.

"OK, now how are we going to do this?" I asked the white princess, no snow white.

"Well we we're going to introduce you, say your a guardian of Equestria, find a place to live and that's it.

"Easier said than done." I said in a sarcastic tone.

After all the ponies got cleaned and dressed for the presentation, Celestia, Luna, the Six, and the guards escorted me to the middle of town to present 'The Guardian of Equestria'.

"Citizen's of Equestria! We present our new guardian of Equestria! Please respect him as if he was your last savour on Equis! He will protect each and every one of you! He will live amongst us as if he was our own! He is Warthog!" Celestia proclaimed.

All the ponies begin to stomp on the ground in approval and excitement. Then they begin to cheer.

"And as a celebration, we will be throwing a party in Warthog's honor!" Luna and Celestia announced.

"And everypony is invited!" They added.

They all fucking freaked out. And started talking amoung themselves.

"Oh my Celestia what am I going to wear!?"

"I still got to get my hooves polished!"

"I still need to beat Candy Crush!"

Wait....what? Nevermind.

Later at the party......In 3rd person.

"Welcome Warthog!" Everypony cheerd as he enterd through Luna's portal.

He settled as the portal closed behind him. Fillies started rushing over to him and started asking him random questions.

Filly 1: "Is it true that if I scratch under your wing, will you get 'fidgety'?"

"Oh come one who told you that lie? Ahhh!"

The filly was scratching the bottom of his wing and he was adjusting his flaps rapidly in excitmint.

"Ahahahahah-stop!-oh,ahahahahahaha" Warthog was laughing uncontrollably.

Cadence then landed on top of Warthog.

"Alright my little fillies! The adults want to talk now." Cadance told the fillies.

"Awwwwwwwwww." They all jumped off of Waerhog and back to there places.

"They are to adorable for my taste Cadance." She only chuckled in response.

A gray mare with a black mane walked up to Warthog.

"Sir Warthog, do you want to have us play some music?" She asked in a English accent.

"Actually, I was planning on playing some music, if you don't mind of course." Warthog asked.

"Really? You can play music to?" Luna suddenly apeard out if nowhere.

"Of course! Would you like me to play you some?" Warthog asked.

"Yes please!" Everypony fell silent, waiting for you to play the music. You knew about Billy's secret digital music player. You chose your favorite song. 'Rusty Cage by Jhonny Cash.' (Don't own the song, also YouTube is being a dick to me and not letting me post vida so just enjoy the lyrics)

Song starts....

/ You wired me awake

And hit me with a hand of broken nails.

/You tied my lead and pulled my chain

To watch my blood begin to boil.

/But I'm gonna break,

I'm gonna break my!

Gonna break my rusty cage, and run.

/I'm gonna break,

I'm gonna break my!

Gonna break my rust cage, and run.

/To cold to start a fire

I'm burning diesel,

burning dinasoure bones.

/I'll take the river down to still water,

and ride a pack of dogs.

/I'm gonna break,

I'm gonna break my!

Gonna break my rusty cage, and run.

/I'm gonna break,

I'm gonna break my!

Gonna break my rusty cage......

And run.

/When the forest burns along the road,

Like gods eyes in my headlights.

/When the dogs are looking for there bones.

/And it's raining icepicks on your steel shore.

/I'm gonna break,

I'm gonna break my!

I'm gonna break my rusty cage and run!

X4

End song.(I DON'T OWN IT)

"Wow, that was amazing! Who performed that song?" Octavia asked.

"A very popular gentlemen names Jhonny Cash, he is very famous."

"Wow, do you have other songs?" Luna asked.

"You name it, Classical, Heavy Metal, Nightstep, Techno, Dubstep, Nightcore, Country, list goes on and on Luna." Warthog stated.

"I heard Dubstep, it sounds a lot like Hoofstep, at least that's what Vinal calls it." Octavia mentioned.

"Vinal?" Warthog asked.

"She has a nickname, Dj PONI3, I think, but she would be very interested in a competition, if your up for it?" Octavia challenged, Warthog never backs down from fight! Stronk Plane! 'Merican made! ( If you don't play World of Tanks you will have no idea what I'm talking about.)

"Well, I guess it's challenged accepted!" Warthog agreed.

"See you at the match! Oh and watch for her bass cannon!" Octavia warned.

"I will get the challenge stage up!" Celestia said happily.