A Gentleman in Training

by Denim_Blue

Chapter Two: Experience Not Necessary

After failing to fall asleep early I had decided to hit the streets and drown my sorrows in the nightlife of Hoofington. An interesting thing about Hoofington is the sheer amount of bars you can find there. Even before human influence started making its way into the world of Equestria, Hoofington had been known as a town full of bars. There was a private university about a mile outside of town, and young mares and stallions frequented the numerous hangouts every weekend they could. Aside from that, there was the local train station, which had more or less been the reason that Hoofington came into existence at all, a fairly large shopping district, and a river that ran south of Whitetail Woods and southwest, just north of Las Pegasus.

Decades ago Hoofington had a decent lumber industry going on, but those days were long past, now that the town was more developed and more ponies were environmentally conscious these days. Which was saying something, since the town also had a booming mining industry and steel production scene going on. The river that ran through the middle of town served as a sort of natural boundary between the industrial parks and the quieter, more residential part of town.

All in all, it was about as average as an Equestrian town can get without being small enough to be considered ‘small’ and not large enough to be a considered a major city. And it was chalk-full of patrons who would happily wash away the stress of a hard day’s work at a bar.

Unlike Ponyville, which I had visited twice in my time living in Equestria, not everyone knew each other in Hoofington. It came damn near close to that, though. If you knew a bartender, you probably also knew the local pizza parlor owner across the street who kept his place open later on weekends, banking on the drunken clients who would have a sudden craving for something to eat. If you knew the barber near town hall, chances are you probably knew at least one of the local constables who visited the barber shop once a week to have his or her mane trimmed. In turn, if you happened to be a pony who enjoyed coffee or a similar caffeinated beverage, then you likely knew or at least had seen that one human male—me, in this case—who always bought those human world newspapers and quietly sighed, chuckled, and shook his head while reading over the political articles while enjoying a coffee or something similar.

What I’m more or less trying to say here is this: In the two years and some odd change that had passed since I moved to ponyland, I had come to see this little-big town-city as a home away from home. I found my little niche in the place, and I had become quite happy with it.

When I walked into the Drunken Jenny tavern—run by a respectable donkey mare, so no one had a right to call the name offensive—I was hardly fazed when at least several of the ponies looked to the entrance and gave loud, and in many cases slurred, greetings.

“Darren! Heeeey, you’re two hours late!” called a rather tipsy mare, who barely managed to hold onto her seat. She turned to Bedelia, the bartender and establishment’s owner, and said, “Get Darren one on the rocks. That… that good stuff that he likes or whatever. Jack… something… and put in on my tab.”

I gave the mare a half-hearted smile and waved to Bedelia. “That’s alright, Tulip. I can afford a drink or two tonight.”

Tulip looked like she was going to argue, but instead settled for a pout. “You never let me buy you a drink.”

I rolled my eyes as Bedelia handed me a tumbler filled with amber fluid, already knowing what I was going to order. “That’s because I know you’ll hold it over my head later and ask me to buy you something,” I replied with a smirk as she continued to pout. I placed the bits down on the counter and turned to Bedelia. “Hey, Bedee. See Gabe or Alex anywhere?”

The donkey mare let out a sigh. “You bet I have. Alex just paid off his bar tab that he built up over the past two months. He looked like he had already had a few drinks, but Gabe was with him, so I’m sure he’s alright.”

“He paid off his tab?” I frowned. “That’s…” I blinked, and shook my head. Alex never paid his bar tabs after only two months. “Did you see where they went?”

Bedelia nodded towards the door. “Gabe told me to tell you that you could probably find them at either the Salty Swill or Two-Trots. Or… if not at those places, Flanky’s.”

I raised an eyebrow at the last one. “I’m sorry, did you say Flanky’s?”

She chuckled and nodded as she began polishing a glass with a rag. “I said the same thing when he told me, too.”

I cursed under my breath and slammed down the drink. I shook my head once and coughed a few times. “Damn it, Alex… thanks, Bedee. Sorry to leave so soon.”

“Aww, you’re alre’y leaving?” Tulip whined. “Whyyy?” She let out a loud hiccup as she stared at me with half-glazed eyes.

“I have to save a friend who’s trying to save a friend who may or may not try and do stupid things tonight. Wish me luck.”

I was out the door and jogging down the streets within seconds. I turned left, and nearly bowled over two young mares as I rounded a street corner. Shouting out a quick apology, I crossed a street and stopped before a brick building with flickering, magic-powered lights that flashed the words Flanky’s for all to see.

Ignoring the sparkly pink lights for the moment, I made my way to the doors, only to be stopped by a large earth pony stallion. He held out a hoof and frowned. “ID?”

I frowned. “Burly, you were at my birthday party over at the Salty Swill not too long ago. Do you really—?”

He shook his head. “Sorry, I’m just doing my job.”

I grumbled and fished out my driver’s license, a valid form of ID that Equestria had taken to using, though it wasn’t too popular compared to a passport or some other forms that humans used. Burly looked it over for all of two seconds before giving it back to me. “They’re inside. Try to keep them out of trouble.”

I groaned as I made my way through the door. “No promises,” I replied before entering the building’s interior. The flashing of dim lights and the low thumping of bass just beyond a set of double doors at the far end of the hall could be seen and heard. The hall I was currently walking through was dimly lit by soft red lamps along the walls of the corridor. There were a few cushioned benches along either side, most of them occupied by ponies. I spotted a single woman chatting with a stallion, but other than that, I was the only other human in the hall. That could only mean I’d have to venture further in.

Here goes nothing…

I pushed past the second pair of double doors and was greeted by the smell of liquor, perfume, and a variety of other smells that hit me like a brick wall. I even picked up the smell of what I swore was chocolate chip cookies.

I tried not to think about that too much.

On one side of the large room was a bar where three bartenders, a human male, a pegasus mare, and one female griffin, who were busy with their customers. On the far end of the room was a large stage. Lights flashed on a single mare as she performed some rather amazing maneuvers on the pole in the middle of the stage. A group of ponies and humans of both sexes watched with varying degrees of interest, some waving coin purses while others cheered her on.

I glanced to the left and right parts of the room where several smaller stages stood against the walls. A few of them were occupied by dancers. I stopped looking when I spotted two guys about my age watching a young unicorn mare dance. Said unicorn mare had a fur coat the color of cotton candy and a silver-white mane and tail that with curled ends. She also wore dark, silky clothing that was probably a step above lingerie, if I were to guess. Though, given the place's atmosphere, she looked aptly dressed.

“Damn it, Alex…” I sighed, making my way over to the two. I took a seat beside the two, and spoke over the thrumming bass. “Okay, this not the first place I expected to find you two.”

The guy furthest from me gave me a quick glance. Gabe was his name, and he was one of my good friends that I’d known for several years now. He had short, wavy, dirty blond hair and not a speck of facial hair on him. His sharp, hazel eyes and lopsided grin were among the trademarks that had won and broken the heart of many a girl back in college. To top it off, he was a fairly lean guy, but not to the point of appearing lanky. He was, as my friend Mel once put it, ‘a guy that knows he’s sexy, and does everything in his power to make sure everyone else knows it as well’.

Gabe chuckled while giving a small shrug. “Not my idea to come here, Darren.” He pointed to the man sitting between us before continuing. “Alex here decided to drown himself in alcohol and good times tonight. I wasn’t against the idea, considering what happened at work.” He adjusted the zipper on his sweater jacket so that it opened up more, and nodded to the unicorn on the stage. “Miss Sugar Sweet’s company was just the icing on the cake. I think her presence alone has brought up the temperature in the room.” He tugged at his collar a bit while running a hand through his hair.

“Oh, stop it,” The unicorn giggled as Gabe winked at her. She returned the gesture in kind and spun around the pole once before continuing. “Is there a girl waiting at home for you, handsome?”

The guy sitting between us barked out a laugh. “Sorry, Sugar Sweet. Gabe here’s already taken by someone else.”

Now, unlike Gabe, Alex was a rather built guy. He was born in raised in a rural community, and years of helping his uncle on his dairy farm had paid off. He had broad shoulders, strong arms, chiseled features, and stood taller than the both Gabe and I did. Dark brown eyes and darker brown hair were complemented by a trimmed goatee.

Alex scratched his stubble a bit and frowned. “Gabe, what’dya say her name is again?”

“Her name is Amber, and I’ve been with her for almost a year now,” Gabe replied with a sigh. “By the way, Alex, you’ve asked me that question three times in the past hour. I think you’ve had enough for now.”

In response, Alex threw back another one of the shots set before him. “I’m fine.” The slight sway in his posture said otherwise. “Most Equestrian liquor’s weak compared to the stuff back home. You know that.”

“Yet somehow you still manage to find yourself passed out on my futon nine nights out of ten when we go bar hopping in Hoofington,” I grumbled. “So… why are you two here of all places?”

Alex shrugged “I figured I’d like’ta see what the place is like.”

Sugar Sweet, if I remember the mare’s name correctly, stopped her little dance around the pole and leaned down close to me. “I don’t think I’ve seen you before.” She looked me up and down once and gave me a half-lidded smile. “Are you new to Hoofington?”

I shook my head and gave her a small smile. “Nope. I’ve been living here in Hoofington for the better part of two years now.”

“Oh, really?” She leaned in closer. “Strange. I usually know all the cute humans in town.”

I got a brief glimpse of her cutie mark as she leaned in. I could make out what looked to be a cookie and a chocolate bar. I looked back to her and smiled. “You got a talent in sweets, I take it?”

She blinked, a bit surprised by the change of topic, I imagine. Her smile quickly returned, more friendly and less flirtatious this time. “I do, actually. I work as a chocolatier at my grandmother’s shop. Working here is just a job I do on the side to help ends meet.”

“Huh, no kidding?” I asked with a grin.

“Yep,” She replied as she settled down into a comfortable sitting position before me. “My grandmother’s shop is where I spend most of my work-week. We do presorted or custom orders depending on your preference. Our bestsellers right now are the mint chocolate truffle and the chocolate caramel creme. It’s pretty hard work, though. You have to get up early, and it can be a real hard trying to make the same kind of chocolate without having them taste different at the same time. Still, homemade sweets are always better.”

“Hear, hear,” agreed Gabe while raising a tumbler of amber liquid.

“What about you boys? What’s your story?” Sugar Sweet asked, her smile dropping a bit. “Not to pry, but you two,” she pointed to Gabe and Alex with a hoof, “didn’t seem too happy earlier when you arrived.”

“Well, for starters, Equestria’s apparently tired of humans in the workforce. The place we worked for let a few employees go. All of ‘em were human,” Alex said with a slight slur to his word. “Ecosystems for Equestria’sh kicked out four of its best workers without sheddin’ a tear.”

“Oh stop it, Alex. Professor Wild Call was torn up over the whole thing, and you know it,” Gabe gave Sugar Sweet an apologetic smile. “We all did some research relating to the Everfree Forest for a government funded company. Sadly, the three of us and a friend of ours were let go from our jobs today. Alex is taking it a bit harder than most of us...”

“Well,” Alex’s jovial tone soured a bit as he spoke. “I’d say gettin’ a voicemail from my girlfriend saying she’s breakin’ up with me because cross-dimensional relationships can’t work isn’t a great way to start the day,” mumbled Alex. “Losing my job just made this day worse.”

“Jenna broke up with you?” I asked. “Oh… shit, I’m sorry, Alex.”

“Eh, don’t be.” He waved a hand dismissively. “It was bound to happen. I was doing most of the work in keepin’ in touch with her, anyway. She nev’r returned most of my calls… I think she may have been seeing someone else… probably Marco.”

I frowned. “Marco… you mean your friend from high school? Damn…”

“I… can’t really be angry at Jenna, though.” He hiccuped softly and raised a glass. “To heartache and unemployment: two excuses to drown in alcohol.” He took a drink and set it down loudly. “Worst thing I ever toasted to…”

The three of us paused when Sugar Sweet extended a hoof, touching Alex’s arm gently. Her eyes were filled with the kind of sympathy that only a miniature, pastel-colored pony could convey. “I’m so sorry to hear about that. It… it must hurt.”

“I’ll get over it,” Alex said, his tone clearly saying otherwise.

Sugar surprised us further by leaning forward and wrapping her forehooves around Alex. He sat there for a moment, wide eyed. Slowly, he snapped out of his trance and wrapped his arms around the pony. They stayed like that for only a few seconds, but it was long enough for Alex to relax a bit and let out a long sigh. When she pulled away, she had a smile on her face. “If you ask me, I think she made a big mistake by breaking up with you.”

Alex flushed a bit. Now, Alex was never known to be the most openly emotional guy out of our group. He was typically the calm and collected one, mostly out of necessity. The voice of reason that was there to counter Gabe’s shenanigans if I wasn’t available to do so. That wasn’t to say Alex was emotionless, though, far from it. He just kept a tight lid on voicing those feelings; part of his upbringing, mostly. Whining and complaining about every little thing didn’t get stuff done on his uncle’s farm, nor did it make the soil samples that needed to be collected take care of themselves.

Regardless, the point of the matter was that Sugar Sweet must have hit a sensitive spot with him. For the life of me, I couldn’t figure out how she did, but it had happened. Blame it on pony magic, I suppose.

“T-thanks,” Alex stammered. “I’m usually not…” He gestured to himself and the numerous empty glasses, “...not like this…

“Key word being usually,” Gabe chimed in.

“I get done in an hour,” she said, her old smile returning once more. “I know a great place that serves pizza down the road late at night. Want to grab a bite?” Her smile fell a bit. “I… don’t think they serve any meat, but it’s still really good!”

If possible, Alex seemed to have sobered up as she said those words. He looked to Gabe, then he looked to me. I shrugged, and Gabe, unsurprisingly, nodded approvingly. Alex then looked back to the unicorn. “I… okay…”

“Great!” Sugar Sweet clopped her hooves together excitedly. “Oh, wait right here, I have a few friends who’d love to meet you guys! One of my friends is a bit of a fan of the Everfree Forest’s wildlife! You said you guys studied that, right?”

“That was mostly Darren’s field,” Gabe answered, thumbing to me. “Alex is more in the soils and lab work. I mostly handled PR stuff for the company.”

“Oh, well, either way, I know they’d like to meet you guys!” With that, the unicorn mare hopped off her little dance platform and trotted off to another corner of the building.

“Huh. Well, that just happened,” Alex said in amusement. “Didn’t see that coming.”

“You show up to an Equestrian erotic dance club and you’re surprised?” Gabe asked our inebriated friend. “Come on, I could understand if we were back in the states, but… this is Equestria.”

“What’s your point?” I asked. Alex gave Gabe a look that voiced a similar thought to my question.

“My point,” Gabe continued. “Is that mares are a lot more…” He paused, clearly thinking his words through. “Well, they’re more forward about things, and typically they aren’t shy when it comes to letting a guy they find attractive know they’re interested. I think it’s a cultural thing with them. It’s less like the typical dancing around that humans often do when they first show interest in each other. Turns out that Alex here took the cake for Sugar Sweet.” Then, as an after thought, added. “That or she’s taking advantage of you and your current emotional state.”

“Works for me,” Alex sighed. “She seems cute enough.”

“Whoa, whoa, hold on.” I grabbed Alex by the shoulder. “Just how much have you had tonight?” He opened his mouth to answer, but I shook my head. “Nevermind, forget it. More importantly: you’re okay with a mare possibly trying to get you to sleep with her for a night?” I squeezed his shoulder a bit, then added. “You do realize that, right? You’re not that drunk, are you?”

“I guess?” Alex scratched his stubbly chin. “I mean, I’m not that drunk, Darren. I’ve never had anything against pony-human relationships. I just never found myself in a situation where I considered them… until now.”

Well, that settled that. “Okay, just making sure. I just don’t want a phone call at seven in the morning tomorrow from you saying you’re in a mare’s bedroom and you can’t find your wallet.”

Gabe took a drink, then hummed in agreement. “Well, she’s probably interested in an actual relationship, judging from her concern for you, Alex.” Gabe took another sip, then said. “Oh, and the popular term is ‘tuck in’, actually.”

“What?” I asked, looking to Gabe once more.

“‘Tuck in’… Equestrians prefer that terminology to ‘sleeping with’ or ‘screwing’,” Gabe clarified. “It’s kind of adorable… well, funny, but still adorable in a weird, slightly dirty, lewd sort of way. A lot more acceptable in polite company, too.”

I quirked an eyebrow. “Since when did you become an expert on this stuff?”

“Well, I imagine since I started dating an earth pony,” Gabe replied casually. “So… about a year ago, I believe?”

Alex coughed up his drink while I blinked dubiously as my eyebrows slowly arched upward in surprise. I shook my head and shot Alex a confused look and he just shook his head. I returned my attention to Gabe and asked, “Come again?”

“What? I’ve been dating Amber for almost a year now, weren’t you listening?” Gabe looked to the two of us and frowned. “Didn’t I tell you guys that she was a pony?”

“No, you didn’t,” I answered, picking up the last of the shots and slamming it down. I pinched the bridge of my nose, then let out a sigh and continued. “All you told us was that she’s been living in Ponyville for three years, and that she a caretaker for the local park over there. Never anything about her being of a completely different species.” I sighed as Gabe’s expression grew worried. “It’s not a huge deal, I guess, just… surprising.” I waved a hand. “Honestly, I can’t blame you for being interested: cute, alien ponies that can fly, carry twice my weight, and use magic? It’s got to be at least a little appealing. I just wish you would have told us that little fact about you dating a mare sooner.”

“Oh, well… surprise?” He laughed. “Sorry, I must have forgot about that. I guess that explains why you two were so chill about it. Though, you think with a name like Amber you’d ask more about her.”

“Amber can also pass as a woman’s name. Now, a name like Amber Glimmer or Amber Dazzle would sound more like a pony name to me, ” I sighed. “I guess today’s just full of surprises.” I shook my head slowly. “Could it get any more interesting?”

I would later question whether the asking of rhetorical questions triggered some kind of mysterious force in Equestria. I mean, they had magic here, who’s to say there wasn’t some mischievous entity that was dead-set on making my day nothing more than a punchline to some joke only they found funny?

To answer my question from earlier, though, my night did get more interesting. I had found myself seated between two pegasi mares in a local pizza parlor while Gabe chatted amicably with a unicorn mare. Alex and Sugar Sweet were… well, I wasn’t sure, but they had gotten a lot friendlier since we left the club. They were speaking in hushed tones, and every so often Sugar Sweet would erupt into a fit of giggles while Alex just chuckled softly.

I, on the other hand?

“So, I heard they might have figured out how a cockatrice petrifies its prey. You know anything about that?”

I did not, in fact, have any true knowledge about that topic. A different mare at work was currently involved on that project. I was, however, aware that it had something to do with primitive magic related to eye contact.

“Nope, but I know they’re doing research into magic that can counter the petrification spell. From what I was told, primitive magic can be wild and hard to rein in.” I shrugged. “I never really specialized in any particular animal or plant. I was more involved in the studies about the environment and ecosystem as a whole.”

“He’s being humble,” Gabe cut in. “This guy helped discover three new species of plant life, a new species of venomous snake, and he managed to verify that being bitten by a vampiric jackalope is not fatal to humans. Just painful as hell.”

The pegasi to my left gasped softly as she brushed her mane away from her face. Her sapphire eyes widened in shock. “You were bitten by a vampiric jackalope?”

“In his defense, it was dark and looked like a normal rabbit,” Gabe added. “It was cute up until it hissed and leaped at him.”

“Bastard almost got me in the neck,” I shuddered. “Had nightmares of that damn thing for a week.”

Alex let out a bark of laughter. “You were so bummed when you were told that the species was already named.”

I shrugged. “The Killer Rabbit of Caerbannog would have been a great name.”

“Barring possible copyright issues, I would have done the same,” Gabe laughed.

“Um…Caerba...where…?” the pegasi to my right asked.

I shook my head. “Sorry, it’s from Monty Python and— erm… well…” I watched the mare as her expression became more confused. “I-it’s a human thing. A joke from an old comedy movie.”

“Ohhhhh,” the mare replied. “I actually got to see one of your human movies once.”

“Really?” I asked, my interest piqued. “Which one?” It wasn’t unheard of for Equestria to show some of the more popular movies from Earth. Not too common, but occasionally a cinema in town would have a noteworthy movie showing from Earth. Hoofington was one the cities that had such cinemas.

“Um…” She tapped a hoof to her chin. “Oh! It was called The Lion King.”

“Oh my gosh, I saw that movie, too!” gushed the mare to my left. “It was so sad when that little lion cub’s dad died…”

“Well, at least they’re showing good stuff from Earth,” I remarked with a smile. “I’m ashamed to admit I haven’t seen many of Equestria’s films.”

“You should!” the mare to my right said with a smile. She brushed a lock of her blonde mane from her face once more. “I know a lot of good movies! Maybe sometime I could take you to the theater and we could—”

“Ugh, Silky, you’re idea of a good movie is anything with sappy romance and a hot stallion in it.” The mare to my left said with a groan. I turned to the other mare and she met my gaze. “Don’t listen to Silky. She thought the movie adaptation of Daring Do and the Rose of the Dunes was good.”

“It was, and you know it, Blossomforth!” Silky sniffed. “I swear, ever since you moved to Ponyville it’s like you lost all sense of good cinema.”

Blossomforth, as she was apparently called, rolled her eyes. “Silky, please, not now…”

“What?” asked the unicorn beside Gabe. “You have changed, Blossomforth. I heard you even considered trying out for the Wonderbolt Academy not too long ago.”

“Okay, look, that was a bad idea. Cloudchaser did end up getting into the academy, so it wasn’t a total waste of time for us girls. That, and after humans started coming to Equestria, we met a few at the Academy that really like flying… in more than a few ways…” Blossomforth said, her words fading a bit at the end.

Silky giggled a bit, and leaned forward to pat her on the hoof gently. “Sorry, Blossomforth. You know I only tease because I care.”

“The Wonderbolt Academy?” I asked. Blossomforth simply nodded. “I saw a show of theirs once in Fillydelphia. They kind of remind me of the Blue Angels.” This time both Silky and Blossomforth gave me perplexed looks. “Oh, uh… they’re a U.S. Navy fighter jet demonstration team. They do lots of stunts and acrobatics. Lots of fun to watch. Same with the Thunderbirds, they’re pretty awesome.” Another curious look from the duo. “They’re with the United States Air Force. Different area of the military, both have fighter jets.”

“Fighter jets… you mean those airplanes that are really fast, right?” Silky asked.

“Loud, fast, and built for combat,” Gabe replied. “But yeah, you’re more or less right. In fact, the Blue Angels have blue and gold colors on their jets, just like the colors that the Wonderbolts have.”

“Makes you wonder,” I chuckled.

“Oh my gosh, I know what you mean! It’s crazy!” Silky agreed. “I was reading about this one city in the United States of America, New York City, I think, that has a statue just like the one on the coast of Manehattan!” She sat forward as her wings unfurled. “I saw a picture of it once! Oh, then there’s the Niagara Falls and our Neighagra Falls!”

I withheld telling her about the fact that the Statue of Liberty was near the similarly named borough of Manhattan back on Earth. No sense in going too deep down that rabbit hole right now.

Alex let out a low chuckle as he spoke up. “All the popular science channels on television back home had a sudden flood of ‘Alien Visitors’ shows after Neo Equinenox appeared. Something about aliens visiting both our worlds in the distant past and teaching us stuff that we know today.”

The night continued more or less in that fashion as I got to learn more about the mares we shared our late night pizza with. Blossomforth was apparently from Cloudsdale, but had moved to Ponyville some years ago. She worked part-time as a weather pony while teaching yoga.

Silky was originally from Cloudsdale as well, but had moved to Hoofington a year ago because of work. The two were close friends from their days as fillies. When asked about her line of work, she simply said she was in a public relations department for a relatively new company originally based in Manehattan.

The unicorn mare across from me that was sitting beside Gabe was Lemon Hearts. She was a native from Canterlot, and she had become friends with Blossomforth after she started taking her yoga classes while visiting Ponyville a few times to see some friends of hers that lived there. She was actually Sugar Sweet’s cousin, and they had all come to Hoofington for some sort of annual get-together of sorts.

I was surprised to see how late it was when I finally glanced at my watch: one o’clock in the morning. “Damn, it’s that late already?” I stretched and sighed as my back cracked. “I haven’t stayed out this late in ages.”

“I have no regrets,” Gabe said with a chuckle. “I mean, how many people can say they’ve traveled through a wormhole made by a pony princess that leads to a land with these four charming mares and had drinks with them?” He looked to the mares, who shared a giggle as he winked at them.

“I remember when the portal opened. I was reading a newspaper that was talking about these animals calling themselves ‘Hew-mons’ a few years back,” Silky chuckled. “I laughed when I saw what you all look like in the photos.”

I gave a nod of agreement. “Yeah, I’m sure nearly-hairless primates that talk and wear clothing all the time was an odd sight for most Equestrians as well.”

“Well, we don’t always wear clothing…” Gabe began. “Like that one time in Madison when you—”

“We agreed that never happened, Gabe,” I cut him off.

“No, no, I recall you saying, and I quote, ‘If either of you tells anyone at work about what happened I’ll douse your pillows with poison ivy oil while you’re sleeping.’” Gabe smirked. “You never said anything about Alex or I telling anyone outside of work about it.”

“Right, I’m off,” I said with a huff, getting up from my spot.

“Oh, come on, Darren, I’m only pulling your leg,” Gabe laughed. “Come on, stay around for a while longer.”

I looked to Gabe, then to the four mares who had similar, puppy-eyed looks on their faces. Alex, meanwhile, was just shaking his head and muttering ‘Madison’, ‘peppermint schnapps’, and ‘going natural’ to himself.

“Alright, alright,” I said, caving in to the pleading looks of the mares. “I’ll just go get another drink…” I made my way to the bar, and sat down. I suddenly found myself wanting to be alone for a little while, and figured I could use this as an excuse.

I still had my current jobless situation fresh in my mind despite the friendly atmosphere that I had been surrounded in moments ago. What was I going to do? I had money saved up, sure, but not nearly enough to live for more than a few months in my apartment. I could live cheap, but the hard thing about living in Equestria was groceries. Sure, I could make vegetarian meals, and I could live on eggs and other proteins without any problems. I wouldn’t want to after awhile, though. Sue me if you want, but I like meat just as much as I like the rest of the food groups. Equestria had delis and sold meat products to their griffin clients, but the demand wasn’t as great. As such, prices were a bit higher than they were back on Earth.

Not only would groceries become an issue, but I’d have to look into job-hunting sooner or later if I planned on staying around. If I wanted to stick around here for the long haul, I’d have to look into becoming more than just a temporary resident in Hoofington, and apply for citizenship in Equestria. I didn’t even know if that was an actual option yet for humans. The topic was still in talks back on Earth for Tellurians visiting the human homeworld.

“What can I get for you?” asked a bartender, a young earth pony stallion, probably around my age.

“I’d like an Old fashioned. Sweet with brandy and olives.”

The stallion raised an eyebrow. “Um… is that a human drink?”

I let out a quiet groan. “Y-yeah, it is.” He looked at me expectantly, and I sighed. “Just give me a whiskey and cola instead if—”

“Hold on, it’s not that hard,” spoke up a voice. I looked to my side to see Silky take a seat next to me. “Pimento, come on, you need to start learning these drinks sooner or later.”

The stallion frowned, “Fine, Silky, if you’re so familiar with human drinks, feel free to enlighten me.”

She grinned, then looked to me. “You said sweet, right?”

“With olives,” I added with a nod.

“Olives in a brandy Old Fashioned Sweet?” Silky asked, making a face. I nodded in reply. She shrugged and got down from her stool. “Suit yourself! One brandy Old Fashioned Sweet with olives, coming right up!”

No more than a minute passed before she set the drink down before me then placed three olives on a toothpick and set in the glass. I blinked, impressed by her knowledge on how to make the drink, let alone how to make it so quickly. I lifted up the glass and took a sip. I let the flavor settle on my palate for a few moments, then said softly. “Wow…”

“I bartended for a few years when I was younger,” Silky said as she hopped back over the bar with a flutter of her wings. “I still dabble with the occasional recipe, especially the ones from the human world. Unlike some ponies,” She looked to Pimento as she finished her thought.

Pimento rolled his eyes, but nodded and turned to me. “I’ll have to keep that one in mind. An Old fashioned, you call it?”

“Yep. Typically you use garnishes like olives, pickled vegetables, or mushrooms in an Old Fashioned sour recipe, not a sweet one. Cherries and pineapples are pretty common for sweet recipes. I’m weird that way, though.” I looked to Silky, who was now enjoying a bottle of cider. “I’m surprised you weren’t bothered by me using brandy instead of whiskey. Substituting whiskey with brandy is a bit of a local thing where I’m from.”

“Pfft,” Silky said with a wave of her hoof. “I prefer the whiskey version myself, but I can appreciate brandy.”

“Huh…” I replied as I took another sip. “You said you work in public relations?”

“Yep,” Silky said with a nod. “It’s been my job for almost two years now. Really great place, lots of opportunities to meet new ponies and people.”

“No kidding,” I said with a smile. “I’m guessing working with humans is a big part of it then, huh?”

Silky laughed, as though I had just told her a great joke. When she settled down she gave a nod. “Yes, yes… you could say that. Humans definitely are a major driving force behind the business.”

“What’s the business called?” I asked. “Are they hiring?”

Silky looked up from her cider, ear twitching a bit. She studied me for a moment, then asked in a relatively serious tone. “If… they were, would you be interested?”

Maybe it was the alcohol from tonight, or maybe it was the fact that I was more desperate for a job than I realized, but I nodded. “I’m not really in a position to not take what I can get. How does the job pay, if you don’t mind me asking.”

“Well, that depends. The… services we provide can vary quite a bit, as do the rates. As you become more experienced, you’ll likely find yourself sitting better, financially speaking.” She grinned, her expression softening a bit as she did. “Honestly, just from a first glance, I think you’d be a great candidate for our company.”

“Oh really?” I asked. “In what, public relations?”

“Sort of in that area,” she replied with a smile. I waited for her to elaborate, but she didn’t.

“Any possible openings for Gabe or Alex?” I asked.

“Oh, I was already going to consider asking Gabe and Alex,” Silky answered with a laugh. “Sugar Sweet had suggested the idea, actually.”

“Not so much the case with me, huh?” I laughed.

Silky smiled. “You’re… different, Darren.” She raised a hoof as I my smile dropped. “Not in a bad way, but… there’s something about you that I can’t put my hoof on.” She studied me for a moment before adding. “Darren, do mind if I ask you a personal question?”

“Um… I might answer it, but go ahead,” I replied with a shrug.

“Gabe mentioned that he’s dating a mare…”

I nodded. “Yeah, her name is Amber. I thought she was a human for the longest time, since it’s not too uncommon of a name for a woman to have. In my defense, he never introduced us to her, and he never elaborated on her being a pony.”

“Right,” Silky said in understanding. “What are your thoughts about that?”

“What, humans and ponies dating?”

“Well, yes. To be specific, being intimate with each other. Does… that bother you at all?” Silky asked. It might have been me, but her tone had softened as she spoke that last part.

“Honestly? No. I mean, humans and Equestrians… well, not just Equestrians, but also griffons, diamond dogs, minotaurs, zebras… Tellurians, I guess you could say… they’re intelligent, free-thinking individuals. Who am I to judge who they love or want to be with, you know?” I took another drink as I continued. “We’re all abstract thinkers and can judge things for ourselves. Still we also should respect each other’s views and ideals.” I waved a hand. “Some say humans that we are the most advanced species back on Earth, but that’s a load of crock if you ask me. We can’t breathe underwater, we can’t see ultraviolet light, or use sonar without special equipment, or willingly allow our bodies freeze to avoid dying in the winter. We’re the most intelligent, or at least the most adaptable, and we’re clearly the dominant species of Earth, but…” I cleared my throat as her smile became one of amusement. “S-sorry, I tend to ramble like that when I’ve had a few.”

She waved a hoof. “No need to apologize. As for what you said about humans, that is probably true. Still, humans can create and work together in ways that other creatures can’t,” Silky countered. “Humans also have philosophy, mathematics, and the sciences. They aren’t satisfied with knowing that something is what it is: they need to know why, and how.”

I stared at Silky for awhile, feeling a smile forming on my lips. “You’ve got quite an understanding about us.”

“Well, if you look past the fur, manes, and walking on four legs, we’re not so different from humans,” she said with a smile.

“Fair point,” I said with a nod, taking another quick sip. “So… do I still qualify for the job?”

“You don’t even know what the business is,” Silky chuckled. “I think you’ve had more than your fill of drinks tonight.”

“Maybe,” I agreed. “I am serious about applying for the job, though. It obviously involves public relations between human and ponies. I’ve been working alongside ponies for awhile, now. I’m sure I can do this, no problem.” After a moment, I asked. “Does it require a degree in anything?”

Silky turned to her cider bottle, “No… just you being yourself. No degree…” She licked her lips, then looked back to me. Her eyes were gentle, but also concerned. “Still interested?”

“I’m willing to give it a try.”

“I’ll be honest, Darren: that kind of attitude is what we need right now. Equestria, I mean… that’s what Equestria needs right now.” She stared at the counter. It was like she was torn on what to do. “Tell you what, take this,” She produced a card from seemingly out of nowhere.

I read it over. It had an address that was somewhere in the eastern part of town across the river. I flipped it over, and all it had was her name, hoofwritten, with a quote underneath it.

“An open mind and an open heart are the keys to a happy life.”

“Stop by this address tomorrow at your earliest convenience. Feel free to bring Gabe and Alex along as well. If you’re still interested afterwards, then we’ll look into getting you a job with us.”

I tucked the card into a pocket, and grinned. “I’ll let the others know. Thanks.”

Silky’s smile remained on her face, but it was subdued now. “You can thank me when you get the job,” she said with a wink.

With that, Silky hopped down from her stool, and made her way back to the group. I watched her go, my eyes wandering towards her tail. She paused for a moment, and looked back to me. Her wings shifted a bit, and I couldn’t help but blush as she gave me a knowing smile. Thankfully, she spared me further torment by turning around and continuing towards the table where the others were still sitting.

I sighed, and stared at my glass. What just happened there? Was I ogling her backside? If I were to be honest with myself, then yes, I was.

I glanced down at my drink, and shook my head. She didn’t seem to be particularly upset about that, but then again, Gabe had said that Equestrian mares were rather forward about their intentions…

I downed the last of my drink and sighed.

I put the thought out of my mind for now. Instead, I plopped one of the olives into my mouth and pulled out the business card she had given me out of my pocket and studied it. It was simple, and bore nothing that really gave away what the company dealt with. Although, I did notice three bold letters above the address that I hadn’t seen the first time I glanced at the business card.

G4M

“Well, I guess I’ll find out more tomorrow,” I said to myself.

After laying down the bits to pay for the drink, I made my way back to the table, in much higher spirits than before. It looked like things would be turning out alright for me after all.

Hopefully.

“So,” Alex began. “She just… gave you a business card last night and said to ‘stop by’? Yeesh, I wish job interviews were that easy to get back home.”

“I know, it sounds too good to be true. Still, it happened, just like that,” I replied.

Currently, Gabe, Alex, and I were in the midst of making our way down the main drag of Hoofington. The large Steelheart Bridge crossing the Saddle River was ahead of us, there were only a few puffs of clouds in the sky, and the mid-morning sun was shining brightly overhead. It was a perfect start to a day that would hopefully provide me with a fresh start in Equestria.

“Hm, looks like this place is located just outside of the industry district,” Gabe commented as he studied the address on business card Silky had given me. “Lots of newer companies are opening up offices in that area… stuff like that.” He handed me back the business card, then turned to Alex, a large grin forming on his lips. “Oh yeah, Alex, you haven’t told us what happened after you and Sugar Sweet decided to leave early last night.”

I rolled my eyes and shook my head, holding back a chuckle while Alex mumbled something under his breath. Gabe, being the wonderful friend that he is, pressed the issue further.

“Hm? I’m sorry, I couldn’t hear you over the peace and quiet of western Hoofington. Could you speak up?”

“We exchanged addresses and she said she wants to get together with me this weekend,” Alex said, trying to keep his tone neutral. “Just leave it be, Gabe.”

“Whoa, hey, easy. I’m happy for you, Alex, that’s great!” Gabe raised his hands in surrender. “She seems like a really nice mare.”

Alex grunted out a reply, his scowl lessening noticeably, “Yeah, she does. She’s pretty cool, actually.”

We turned down a road that ended with a cul-de-sac of sorts, a few small businesses lining both sides of the road. We stopped and scanned the addresses, only to pause as we came upon our destination at the far end of the cul-de-sac. A quaint, white sign with blue lettering stood in the front of the property, catching our attention immediately.

Gentleman for Mares - Hoofington Branch

Gabe was the first to break the silence. He let out a soft chuckle, which slowly grew into a full-on belly laugh.

“What?” I asked Gabe. When he gave no reply and continued laughing, I looked to Alex for an answer. He merely shrugged and shook his head.

Gabe quickly settled down, wiping a tear from his eye, and pointed to the sign. “What, you don’t see the sign?”

I glanced at the building’s sign once more. After Alex and I read it, he let out another laugh. Clearly we were missing something. “Oh, no wonder you got roped into this so easily, Darren.”

“So you’ve heard of this ‘Gentleman for Mares’ thing?” I asked with a frown. Gabe’s laughing could mean a variety of things. Few of them would bode well for me in most cases.

“Yeah, I have, and I’m surprised you two haven’t. It’s all that you hear about in tabloids and such these days.” He ran a hand through his his sandy brown locks of hair. “Oh man, this day just got a whole lot more interesting.”

“What are you talking about?” Alex asked irately, already growing tired of Gabe’s antics. “And to be honest, no, I don’t read tabloids.”

“Yeah, what’s the big deal?” I asked, getting annoyed by Gabe’s growing smirk.

“Nothing, nothing. Come on, let’s just go inside. You guys will see what I’m talking about soon enough,” Gabe replied, heading up the sidewalk and towards the building.

The place itself was made of red brick, and it was relatively small for an office building, no more than two stories high. There was a vibrant flower garden along the front of the building, and wooden benches on either side of the walkway. Birds fluttered around the building, stopping to eat at a feeder or bathe in the stone bird bath that had been put out in the middle of the yard near the sign.

“Huh, the place certainly has a welcoming feel to it,” I said aloud.

Gabe and Alex gave grunts of agreement. Truth was, it was not what I had expected for a building in this part of town. I had been expecting a rather dull wooden or stone building, not some humble, cheery, brick building with a well-kept lawn and flower garden.

I was the first to walk through the doors, the soft jingle of bells making our presence known to the receptionist at the front desk. The tan earth pony glanced up from behind a pair of thick rimmed glasses, her eyes widening a fraction as she took in the three of us. She gave us a professional smile as we approached the front desk. “Good morning, sirs, how may I help you?”

I gave her a smile. “Hello, miss. Is Silky here today?”

The mare’s smile grew a bit as she nodded. “Oh, so you must be the three that she was telling me to look out for.” She hopped down from her seat and motioned for us to follow her. “She should be available right now, actually. Please, follow me.”

“Yes?” was the reply from the other side of the door. The receptionist opened it, and we were greeted by the sight of none other than Silky behind a desk littered with papers. She glanced up, her eyes falling on the mare first. “Yes, Manila—?” She paused upon seeing the three of us. “Ah, hello boys!” She smiled brightly. “I hope this morning wasn’t too harsh on you three after last night.”

“We’ve had worse,” Alex replied nonchalantly while Gabe and I nodded.

Silky chuckled, “I’m sure.” She gave Manila a nod, and the mare excused herself to return to the front desk. Silky smirked as she took in our appearances, nodding approvingly. “Well, you boys sure know how to present yourselves.

We all gave varying smiles and nods of thanks. All three of us wore khakis and formal-wear shoes. Alex and I wore button up collared shirts with ties while Gabe was sporting a nice zip-up collared sweater jacket.

“Let it not be said that we don’t know how to look like gentlemen,” Gabe replied.

Silky raised an eyebrow at Gabe’s comment. A moment passed before a smile broke out across her face and she laughed softly. “That’s good to hear. I’ll be sure to remember that.” She gestured to a small side table with a coffee maker brewing. “Help yourselves to a cup if you want. There’s some donuts and fruit in the lobby nearby if you’re hungry at all.”

After we each got ourselves a cup, Silky got up from her desk. “Right, why don’t we find a more comfortable place to sit while I talk about the job with each of you?” She made her way towards the door of her office.

Within five minutes I was sitting in a open waiting area with Alex while Gabe was speaking with Silky in a room next door. After I finished my coffee, I picked up a magazine on a table next to my chair and glanced over it. Alex had a newspaper in hand already, reading it over with mild interest.

“Anything noteworthy?” I asked him.

He said nothing for a moment, then grunted an affirmative. “Yeah, actually. Some ‘experts’ from Canterlot are saying that those changelings or whatever might be on the rise again.”

“Changelings?” I repeated, intrigued. “You mean those creatures that tried invading Canterlot a few years back?”

“Yeah, some time before the portal opened up, I think,” Alex continued. “They got a picture of one from that invasion on here. Take a look,” He held up the paper for me to see. “They remind me a bit of something you’d see in one of the Alien movies or something.”

I took the newspaper with genuine interest, studying the front page picture. It was a slightly blurred photograph that had been taken by an anonymous pony during the Canterlot invasion. The creatures were dark-skinned, almost a black chitin of sorts, and had holes in their legs and insect-like wings. Aside from that, they had frills on their necks, a horn jutting out of their forehead, and vibrant blue eyes.

All in all, not as terrifying as Alex made them sound. “Oh come on, Alex, they aren’t that scary-looking.”

He shrugged. “I’m just saying that I wouldn’t want to run into one of them in a dark alley.”

I rolled my eyes, “Right, because the adorable little race that feeds on love would be any more dangerous than a griffon or dragon in a fight.”

“Adorable?” Alex repeated, cocking an eyebrow. “Alright, Darren, you’ve been out in the Everfree Forest too long. National Geographic would make you a television show host in a heartbeat.”

“What?” I laughed. “Come on, look at that picture. It’s got those big, blue eyes and those frilly wings. It almost looks like a pony if you squint, too.”

“Uh huh,” Alex replied flatly. “It also has sharp teeth and feeds on love. I hear they can turn their hosts into mindless zombies if they feed long enough.”

“You know, equines have canine teeth sometimes, too,” I pointed out.

“Mindless zombies,” Alex said once more. “That’s just scary… sort’ve. I mean, how do you eat an emotion, anyway?”

I shook my head and handed the paper back to him. “First of all, from what I heard, that incident with Prince Shining Armor was due partially to a changeling queen or whatever using a mind control spell to weaken him over time. Secondly, considering they’re an intelligent species, just like us, ponies, and such, I’m sure not all of them are aggressive like those that were in Canterlot.”

Alex shook his head as he continued with the newspaper. “Well, either way, an invasion of Canterlot seems like a ludicrous idea without a lot of power to back it up. The changelings had that in spades, though.” He leaned closer to me, and whispered. “I even heard Starchy at the bakery down the road tell me once that the changeling queen responsible for that invasion managed to overpower Celestia herself.”

I frowned at that bit. “Really?”

“Yeah, freaky, huh?” He shook his head. “Pony goddess who controls the sun was outmatched by some changeling—”

“Alex?” called the voice of Silky, who poked her head into the lobby, “Are you ready?”

“Oh, yeah,” Alex replied. He set down his paper, and gave me a nod. As he turned around the corner and followed Silky, Gabe reappeared. He had a small smile on his face. Not the usual smug one, but a genuine smile. He gave me a nod as he approached.

“Well?” I asked.

“I’ll be starting training next week Tuesday,” he answered after a moment.

“So, anything I should know about this job?” I asked.

The moment the words left my lips, I noticed Gabe’s smile falter a little. He scratched his neck and cleared his throat. “Look, Darren, I’ve known for you for how long now? Eight years?”

“Nine years this fall.”

“Right, and I’ve never lead you astray, have I?”

“...”

“When it’s important,” he added quickly. “You’ve always trusted me, right?”

“Gabe, what did you do?” I asked with a suppressed groan. “So help me, if you overdrew from your checking account again—”

“No, no, nothing like that. Come on, that was four years ago, and I did pay you back…” Gabe shook his head and continued. “Look, I’m just going to be upfront with you, okay? Silky asked me flat out if you would be good for the line of work they have here. I told her yes. She seems hopeful for all three of us, but in the end, this decision is yours, got it?”

I rolled my eyes and laughed. “Okay, Gabe, I’m sure—”

“Darren, I’m serious,” Gabe said, his voice lacking it’s usual joking tone. “If you don’t think the job is good for you, you should probably back out while you’re ahead of yourself.”

“What are we doing, applying for work as bodyguards?” I asked.

“I’d rather not say, at least not until you’re done with your interview. Don’t give me that look, I’m not plotting anything against you, I just don’t want to affect your decision until you’ve heard it from her, okay?” He sighed, “I said you’d be good for this job, Darren. I’ve always trusted you, and I think you will be able to do this… and hopefully enjoy it, too.” He gave me a pat on the shoulder before heading out of the lobby. “I’ll talk to you later, alright? I’m going to go and tell Amber the news. She’ll be happy to hear about this.”

As Gabe left, I felt my jaw going a little slack. Gabe being friendly and polite was one thing, but Gabe being serious?

“What the hell kind of job is this?” I asked the empty lobby, suddenly finding it hard to focus on the magazine about the latest fashions trends among men and stallions.

Alex’s interview took a lot longer than Gabe’s had. It was about a half hour before he finally walked out. He had an intense look on his face. He appeared to be deep in thought, and almost didn’t notice the table in front of him as he walked by.

“So…?”

“Hm?” Alex asked, stopping short of tripping over a coffee table. “Oh, yeah. I’m hired, heh. Starting this Wednesday with training. Gabe’s apparently a little more qualified, so he’ll be starting a day sooner than us.” He shrugged with a small smile. “Thanks for telling me about this, Darren. If… even if you don’t take the job, I appreciate it, okay?”

Right, something was definitely going on here. “Sure thing. You alright?”

“Yeah, yeah, just thinking. Maybe I’ll see if Sugar is at her grandmother’s shop and pay her a visit.” He then laughed, “Not like I have to be at work today.”

With that Alex also made his way out of the lobby, leaving me alone with my thoughts once more.

I had expected Silky to call my name shortly after the end of Alex’s interview, but after five long minutes, she had yet do so. I was getting worried after ten minutes passed that something had changed; that she had decided to just go with Gabe and Alex, and didn’t think I would be needed.

Then…

“Darren?” She appeared from around the corner, smiling as brightly as she had when I had first walked into her office. “Ah, sorry about that, just had to get a few papers taken care of for Gabe and Alex. Ready?”

Getting up from my chair, I followed her into what I could only define as a lounge. There was a luxurious sofa and reclining chair with cushions that I suspected were full of pegasi down, a small patio door leading out to the back of the building, and a quaint bar that, I noted, had an assortment of drinks from the lands of both Tellus and Earth.

Silky noticed my gaze, and smiled. “I’m not a connoisseur, but I like variety.” She waved a hoof. “I’m partial to the ales from your planet. If I were to be honest, the human world’s dark ales and stouts make anything they brew up in Vanhoover or here in Hoofington pale in comparison.”

I caught her little joke and smirked. “Well, I’m partial to ambers and brown ales myself, but pale ales aren’t bad, either.”

She rolled her eyes and chuckled. “You wouldn’t believe how many ponies and humans I tried that on before someone finally got it.”

“Heh, well, in their defense, you seem more than a little knowledgeable with the human world… or at least our beer. Most ponies aren’t, ” I said with a grin.

She gave a sigh. “What can I say? Liquid sin is a weakness… well, in moderation, that is.” She cleared her throat. “I’m sorry, we should be getting to the interview, shouldn't we?” She plopped onto the couch, and I took the chair across from her. She gave me a half-lidded smirk as I sat down. “This couch was actually made for humans in mind, you know. It’d probably be more comfortable than that chair.” She patted the cushion gently, urging me to sit down beside her.

I felt myself flush a bit in the cheeks. “I’m comfortable here, thank you.” I gave her a small smile.

Her smile became less smoky, turning once more to that friendly one that seemed so natural on her. “Suit yourself.” She adjusted herself a bit on the couch, stretching out her neck a bit and spreading her wings out. She then stretched her legs a bit, giving me a clear view of her cutie mark. It was a stylized feather with three hearts surrounding it. Odd how I didn’t notice it last night at the bar.

I will tell you right now that living in Equestria tends to force one to learn the language a bit, so to speak. I’ve learned a few of the more simple gestures and body language of Equestrians over the few years I’ve been here: scraping at the ground and while whinnying or snorting can be a sign of aggression. Ears pulled back and flat against the head can be a sign of fear, anger, annoyance, or sadness, depending on the situation. Facial cues help, and thankfully Equestrians and humans have similar enough facial expressions. That and if one has familiarity with horses back on Earth, they’re already ahead of the game.

There were more complex, subtle ones that I sort have come to understand over the time I spent here, but wasn’t quite familiar with at the same time. Two unicorns touching horns, for instance, was a gesture I had seen before but could only narrow down to being very personal. Not necessarily romantic or intimate, but something that you won’t see two co-workers or even good friends do, at least not in open public. Some ponies intertwined their tails at times, but I’ve seen both married couples as well as friends do this.

Then there were the many—or so Hemlock once told me when he had been dating a pegasus—frustrating complexities of wings and their positions. Fully flared wings while a pegasi is crouched could mean playfulness, fear, or hostility. Again, it varies depending on the facial expression. Lifted and slightly unfurled wings could mean contentment or just simply indicate a pegasus was intent on lifting off the ground soon. Ramrod straight wings, fully unfurled usually meant surprise… or arousal, which was both odd and somewhat funny to most of the humans I knew in Equestria.

There was one that I recall Hemlock telling me, though, that I was witnessing before my very eyes. When a pegasus before you stretches out their wings and extends them outwards, upwards, and moves them with exceptionally slow movements, it can mean one of two things: they’re waking up from a nap and stretching, or trying to appear attractive before you.

Silky closed her wings against her sides once more and smiled. “So, Darren, how long have you been in Equestria?”

“Uh,” I began, my mind still trying to catch up with the present, “About two years and some odd months, give or take. Almost three years, I guess.”

“Mm,” she said, picking up a paper and clipboard. She scratched in something with a pencil, then continued after taking the pencil out of her mouth. “Any relatives living with you in Equestria?”

“None in Equestria, just friends. I do have a brother who’s currently over in the griffin lands who’s helping train other griffin medics. He’s a Corpsman trained for battlefield first aid. He was there back when the Cloven attacks took place. Luckily, he made it through that nightmare with his life and all his limbs.”

She nodded, and made a quick tick mark on her clipboard. “I’m glad to hear that. We all owe you humans a lot for helping the griffins fight off the Cloven. I wish more Tellurians would remember that.” She cleared her throat. “Well, if that’s the case, would you mind telling me what attracted you to coming to our world?” She set down the clipboard and pencil, genuine curiosity inflecting her words. “I’m always curious to hear the reasoning. To be honest, you humans are unlike any other creature we’ve seen. Ambitious, driven, and almost terrifying.”

“Terrifying?” I repeated with a frown.

“Not necessarily in a bad way. I… well, let’s put it this way. Humans adapt to change very quickly. Yesterday’s enemies are today’s allies. You’ve made weapons of terrible power, but you’ve also found causes and cures for some of the most deadly diseases known to your species, and many other species as well. You’ve learned so much about the world around you, but are not content with that.” She smiled wistfully. “You’ve all accomplished so much, but you know that it’s not enough. Ponies? Aside from some bright individuals in our group, like Princess Twilight Sparkle or Captain Spitfire of the Wonderbolts, we ponies aren’t as inclined to this mentality of continuous improvement and discovery. There are individuals who might dedicate themselves to a particular cause, sure, but the vast majority of us are not so excited for change and evolution of our culture. At least not to the extent that humans do.”

“I… huh, I guess when you put it that way, we can be kind of intimidating, huh?” I laughed softly. “Truth be told, I think a good portion of the human world was holding their breath when we made first contact with Tellus.”

Silky laughed and nodded. “Hoofington’s mayor declared that until we got word from Canterlot, all major operations outside of what was necessary to keep the town running would be put on hold. A few ponies feared we had opened a portal that would bring forth some great evil or disaster…” She looked up to me as she continued. “Then… imagine our surprise and thrill when we saw that we weren’t alone in this vast universe. There is other life beyond our little sphere. Life that’s so much like our own, but so incredibly different at the same time.”

“Heh, good point as well. Yeah, Neo Equinenox really changed how a lot of people view the universe now,” I agreed.

“Oh, ahem,” Silky cleared her throat. “Gosh, there I go, off on a tangent. Sorry,” She rubbed her forehead and sighed. “So, in a roundabout way of asking… what made you decide to come to Equestria?”

I frowned, partly out of a need to think, and partly because not all my reasons were positive. A lot of them were, but…

“Well, honestly, I wanted to see this world. I love Earth, don’t get me wrong, but being able to live and walk on a completely different planet? That is something that I can safely say is not what all humans will ever get to do. Anyone who has two legs can find a place with a park or forest and enjoy nature there, but how many can say they went to said park and had an actual conversation about the weather or politics with another form of life outside of your own species?” I scratched my chin. “I also was looking for a job, and my uncle just so happened to know people who could get me a job with an environmental interest company. Up until yesterday, I had worked there, and from what my boss had told me, it wasn’t her choice to let me go. I… believe you heard a good portion of that yesterday.”

Silky nodded slowly. “I truly am sorry to hear about that. It sounds like you really enjoyed working for Ecosystems for Equestria.”

“I did. My co-workers were great, and they didn’t really care that I was a human. To be honest, I was worried that me being a human was going to be a big deal with that job, even if it was a joint project between both human and Equestrian governments.”

“Well, rest assured, you being a human will not be a problem for this job. If anything, it’s a requirement,” Silky said with a smile. “Darren, I need to ask you a few… personal questions, if you don’t mind. Is that alright?”

I shrugged. “You asked me a few the other night. I’ll answer them if I feel comfortable, sure.”

“Great,” Silky said as she once more picked up her clipboard and pencil, “First of all, do you have any personal issues with Equestrians when it comes to social norms and the like?”

“Issues?” I frowned. “Not really. Well, there is one, it’s a minor one, but I suppose it’s more of a species barrier than a cultural one.”

“Do tell,” Silky said encouragingly.

“Grinning,” I said with a chuckle. “Ponies, at least ones that either aren’t around humans that often, or ones that I don’t know, always seem uncomfortable when I grin.” I continued before she could speak. “I realized after a while that it’s because of our sharper looking teeth, and the implications that come with them. Humans aren’t strictly vegetarian, and many of us do eat meat. Our teeth aren’t all flat; we have teeth for shredding and tearing off pieces of meat as well as teeth for mashing vegetation like fruits, vegetables, and the like.” I chuckled a bit before continuing, “Given that Equestrian diets are almost entirely, if not completely, vegetarian, and…” I noticed her smiling in amusement, her eyes twinkling with mirth. “You’re enjoying this, aren’t you?”

“Oh, I am. You’re every bit the biologist that Gabe said you were,” Silky chuckled a little. “You’re speaking from experience, aren’t you?”

“Yeah. When I first started my job in Hoofington, I scared more than a few of my co-workers before Gabe explained the whole thing with teeth.” I shrugged. “I apologized, and it was water under the bridge. Still, though, it’s a habit of mine. I like grinning when I laugh or smile. It’s hard to be conscious of it, but I’ve tried to keep myself from doing it around other ponies.”

“Well, for the record, I like human smiles. They’re expressive, even if they are a little intimidating at first glance. One thing we—and by ‘we’, I mean ponies working for Gentleman for Mares—have been trained to do is maintain eye contact and not stare at human’s teeth. It helped me a lot when I was new here. Now, though?” She waved a hoof. “I’ve been around humans so often that I’m no longer bothered by it.” She jotted down some notes on the clipboard quickly, then looked up. “Anything else?”

“Nothing that comes to mind,” I answered truthfully.

“Right, well… this never gets easier to ask, but… is there a special someone in your life right now?”

“Um,” I gave her what must have been an odd look, because her smile wavered a bit. “Well, no, not right now. I’ve been single since before I arrived in Equestria.”

“Was there ever someone like that in your life.”

I shrugged. “Yeah, I dated someone back in high school. It didn’t last long though when I found out she was simply doing it to get her ex-boyfriend jealous. She got back with him after about a month when it just didn’t work out between us.” I tapped my chin. “Then there was a girl… well, she was more of a good friend, that I had dated when I was in college. We dated, sorta… nothing came out of it, but we’re still friends. Just a mutual agreement that we were better off not continuing it.”

Silky hummed. “That must have been awkward.”

“Not really,” I said, shaking my head. “Like I said, we’re still close friends. I mean, yeah, the first few weeks after we ended our relationship were a bit weird, but we still cared about each other, just not romantically. It’s kind of hard to stop caring about a friend you’ve known for more than half your life.” I hummed in thought, then added. “There was a few other women I dated, but they were brief. We just didn’t click in some way or another. The last woman I dated was about six months before college ended for me. Not much came out of it other than sex, lots of late-night arguments on the phone, and me finding out that there was another guy that she had been seeing.”

“Oh dear, I’m sorry to hear that…” Silky said, the corners of her lips pulling down to a frown.

“Don’t. She had been sleeping with the other guy for three months before I found out. I think the guy knew she was dating me, too.” I laughed as Silky shook her head sympathetically. “It’s alright, I was miserable around her most of the time, anyway.”

Silky went silent for a few moments as she jotted down a few more notes, then set her clipboard down. “What about mares?”

“Um…” I frowned. “What about them?”

“Mares. Have any caught your eye? Any that you find attractive or that you think might be interested in you?”

I sat up a bit in my chair. “What kind of job is this, exactly?” In all due fairness, I should have asked that from the get-go. My stupid desperation for work and my intoxicated state of mind last night were to blame, though, so I had no right to complain to anyone but myself.

Silky nodded, closing her eyes and letting out a sigh. “Gentleman for Mares is an escort service for mares, in a nutshell. Our clients vary from all walks of life, so we strive to have our service providers be as flexible and adaptable as possible.” She sounded like she had recited these words before, likely several times in the past. “A Gentleman is always expanding his repertoire and making each customer a happy one, for a happy customer is a repeat customer.”

I sat there for what may have been minutes, my mind slowly turning its gears. “I’m sorry, did you say an escort service?” Silky nodded. “As in… take someone out for a nice dinner, give them company… and…?”

Silky sighed, though it sounded like it was more out of exhaustion. “Yes, and usually have sex afterwards.” She frowned. “I assure you, we are as professional in regards to such things, and give our employees the best possible care and treatment we can. We will give you plenty of training, education on Equestrian society, and physical conditioning so you are prepared for the job… if you decide to take our offer.” She gave me a forced smile.

“Uh… huh…” I leaned back a bit, and rubbed my chin in thought. Internally, I was more than a little bewildered by this sudden revelation. Serves me right for going into a job interview blind, I guess. “I take it that’s a major part of the job, huh?”

Silky cleared her throat, as though trying not to laugh. “Not always, but it’s a common reason that our services are requested. We mares can’t always put out the fire ourselves, so to speak.” Her tail moved a bit as she cleared her throat. “I understand if you’re a bit… surprised by this, but I will make it clear right now; Gentlemen for Mares is in the business of providing companionship to ponies, and part of that deal often involves sex.” She offered me a gentle smile. “Still interested?”

I was weighing the options in my mind, and was a bit surprised by how okay I was with the idea. I mean, I’m not going to go ahead and say I was starving for a chance to go to town on a pony, but when you’ve lived among them for over two years, you start finding it less and less difficult to relate to them. Part of that involved looking past the whole species barrier when it came to interactions.

“So…” I began, scratching my neck. “Gabe and Alex both took the jobs, huh?”

“Yes, they did. Gabe was fine, and he knew about it right away. Alex was informed about the job’s details only a few minutes after I started asking him about his relationship. Considering that he and Sugar Sweet hit it off rather well, I assumed he would be alright with this job…” She chuckled quietly, “I realize you’re a bit of an oddball here, no offense. It’s just… well, you don’t seem to have any aversion to mares, but…”

“Hm.” I smiled, this time without showing my teeth, and she seemed to relax a bit. “How often would I be getting clients that want to do the two-way tango, if you don’t mind me asking?”

She chuckled a bit at my choice of words. “That all depends on you and your experience, Darren. I’m relatively new to the whole Gentlemen training department, but I’ve heard stories from other handlers. Some of their Gentlemen are very specialized.”

Specialized? I quirked an eyebrow at that. “Uh… care to elaborate?”

“Well… let me think… there are Gentlemen who almost only take on jobs for clients in heat. Others have a bit of a wild side to them.” She laughed. “Would you believe there are even a few who are inclined towards multiple mares at the same time, or aerial stunts while pleasuring clients?”

I raised an eyebrow, holding back a snort of laughter. “Now you’re messing with me.”

She giggled, “I wish I were, but I’ve heard and seen written reports from handlers. Though, it goes without saying that some of our clients also have preferences for particular or only a single Gentlemen. Some even develop strong relationships with their Gentlemen.” She took her clipboard and jotted down a note before looking back up. “There are bad experiences, too. However—and keep in mind, I don’t speak for all mares here—us mares are more than forgiving if our partner is willing to give it another go in the bed, so to speak. More than a few of our most talented Gentlemen started out with very little experience regarding tending to the needs of mares.”

“If I might ask, Silky… why? I mean, I can understand: sex sells. But you mentioned that it was more than that. What’s made this business so in demand?”

“Well,” Silky slowly got up from her seat and walked over to me, stopping a few paces from where I sat. I’ve been quick to learn that the personal space bubble for Equestrians is smaller than that of humans. It took a while to get used to, but I’ve learned not to let it get to me when a pony is practically brushing against me. Silky, if anything, was being courteous when she stopped short of where I was sitting, and was now resting a hoof on the table beside me. “I’m sure you’re aware of how just how skewed the sex ratio in Equestria is.”

I nodded. It wasn’t exactly that hard to notice. You’d be hard pressed to not run into at least a few mares before seeing a single stallion in any town or city within Equestria. It wasn’t too uncommon in a species to have skewed sex ratios. Some animal species could even change their sex if conditions demanded it back on Earth.

Silky continued. “For every baby colt born there are at least three fillies born as well. The pony sex ratio has been like this for as long as any can remember. It’s the reason why herds exist in the first place, Darren. There just simply aren’t enough stallions for every mare out there looking for that special somepony in their life. A lot are content being a part of a herd, but… well, that doesn’t change the fact that we can get lonely. Sometimes you just need the warmth of another body to remind you that the world isn’t such a lonely place...” It was hard not to pick up the melancholy tone in her words, and a part of me almost felt guilty for asking her such a question.

“Ah… yeah, I guess I didn’t think of that. Humans have a relatively equal sex ratio. So, I guess the desire and need for… herds… isn’t as strong for us. We typically pick a single partner and stick with them if everything works out. Or for a few months, if you’re in the Hollywood tabloids… or not.” She gave me a curious look, and I waved a hand. “Don’t worry about it, I was rambling.”

Silky nodded. “I think that deep down, a lot of Equestrians want a sense of being wanted. That’s my opinion at least…” She licked her lips, then looked up to me. She seemed almost hesitant to speak, but continued. “Darren… I know I asked you last night about pony and human relationships, and I know you said you have no problem with them. However, what about…” She now had her eyes glued to the floor. “What about yourself? Would you turn down a relationship like that? Hypothetically speaking, of course.”

I bit the inside of my cheek softly as I thought over that one. Once more I thought back to that brief moment when I had caught myself staring at the posterior of the very mare standing before me. It had been intentional, too, either, even if I tried to believe otherwise.

“I… suppose not. It’d take some adjusting, but I’d probably… I guess I’d give it a shot, if I really liked the mare.” I could feel my cheeks heating up a bit. “As for sex… well…” I chuckled, “It’s apparently not all that bad, if this business is anything to go off of. So… yeah… I guess I’d be down for it, as long as I wasn’t blindsided by the offer. Honestly, though, it’d probably come down to if I liked the mare’s personality. I know plenty of great mares who I could see as someone that I’d date just based on their personality. That’s always been a major thing with me and anyone I’ve dated.

Looks helped, though, but that was true for almost anyone.

“Ah…” Silky took a tentative step closer to me, and I could now make out the finer details in her feathers, and the stray hairs in her golden mane. Still not close enough to be considered rude, though. “Darren… what would it take to make you give Gentleman for Mares a chance? Do you find me attractive, for example?”

Her smile was soft, yet hungry. It was a look I’d seen before in the eyes of women I had dated in the past. It was hard not to recognize it.

Before I even realized it, she had closed the distance between us, close enough that I could make out the specks of green in her blue eyes now. A single hoof was resting on my knee. It was crazy, but… I wasn’t really bothered by it. Surprised? Definitely, but I felt reassured by her touch. It was as though my troubles had slowly begun to melt away, as corny as it is to think. Whatever it was, it helped clear my mind a bit, which I think was exactly what I needed at the moment.

“I…” I thought to myself. Did I find Silky attractive? What about other Equestrian mares in general? I looked into her eyes, those sapphire orbs dancing with restrained emotions. Her mane reminded me of a wheat field in the summer sun, a golden blonde with rays of morning sun catching it at all the right angles. Her coat was a modest tan, but not a dull color. No, it was like an untouched beach, the portion of sand where the tides rolled in and receded. Not dry, but not submerged in the ocean, either. The part that felt great beneath your toes, where the color was just a shade or two darker than the white, coarse grains closer inland.

A voice in the back of my chimed in at that moment: Mares? Attractive? Like you, Silky? Hell, yeah!

Okay… so I did find mares attractive. Well, we got that question out of the way, didn’t we? Good work, brain, now, let’s see if we can get back to using our words to communicate.

The nervous flutter in my chest returned as I started taking in the fact that a beautiful creature like Silky was standing before me, and her attention was focused solely on me at the moment. I leaned back a little as her breath tickled my face. Silky’s other hoof gently settled onto my other knee as she leaned forward. Slowly, her wings began to spread themselves out as she continued to lean closer.

I heard a shudder, and realized it was my own voice. “S-Silky?”

That seemed to snap her out of whatever trance she was in. She pulled away with a soft gasp. “O-oh!” She took several steps back, her face beet red, and her eyes glued to the floor. “I-I’m so sorry! I just…gahh, horseapples!” She stamped her hooves on the ground as she uttered the Equestrian profanity. “Darren, I am truly sorry for that! I… don’t know what came over me, and that was completely unprofessional of me.” Her ears were folded back now, and I could tell that she was on the verge of tears. She managed to hold back the choking in her voice as she continued. “I appreciate you stopping by. If you wish, I can have Manila show you out and—”

Now, while that had been a tad uncomfortable, I could tell Silky was suffering from it more than I was. Far be from me to refuse helping a woman, or mare in this case, in need. “Silky…?”

The pegasus paused, her cheeks having settled to a healthy shade of pink. “H-huh?”

To this day, I wasn’t sure what came over me back there. Perhaps it was some latent magic in the air; Equestria was full of it, after all. Even so, I was of sound mind and body as the words left my mouth, so I’m not even sure if magic was a part of it.

“I’d… like take up your job offer, if that’s alright with you.”

“Y-you would?” Silky said, her wings flaring out fully in surprise. “Really?!” She frowned a little. “Are you certain? I didn’t mean to try and… and seduce you like that. It’s just, I’m in the middle of my…I mean…” She shook her head. “Please be honest with yourself, Darren. Would you like to give this job a chance?”

“Y-yeah. Though… I’ll probably need some help with the job, especially the part where I deal with the clients and—”

A squeal of joy was the only warning I got as Silky lifted off the air with a leap and tackled me in a hug. She giggled uncontrollably as I fell back onto the couch. She nuzzled my cheek and laughed happily as I chuckled, more out of confusion than anything.

“Ohhhh thankyouthankyou thank you!” She said as she pulled back, planting a quick peck on my cheek. “Darren, you’re a lifesaver!”

I am?

“Really?” I asked.

“Yes! You see, the Hoofington branch of Gentleman for Mares is actually fairly old… well, old in regards to the business itself. We’ve been around for almost as long as the main headquarters in Manehattan, but we’ve never really done any direct work with any of the company’s Gentlemen.”

“Gentlemen… as in the escorts?”

“Yes, though we prefer the term Gentlemen,” Silky explained. “Anyway, headquarters sent us a request a couple months ago, asking us to start recruiting Gentlemen. Not many, mind you. A dozen at most. So far, we’ve managed to find five, which is the minimum they asked for.” She smiled brightly. “Five men like yourself.” She tapped my chest with a hoof. “You have just given us that needed goal… and honestly, I think you’re the perfect fit for the role.”

I wasn’t so sure about that myself, considering Gabe probably had more qualifications for the job, but… well, what was the worst that could happen? If it didn’t work out, at best, I’d be out of a job again and have to search for employment. Maybe even get a bit of a severance pay from the company. At worst, possibly some mental scarring, though the idea of ponies leaving me with a traumatic experience seemed highly unlikely. I mean, this is coming from a guy who was attacked by a vicious, Vampiric Jackalope of all things.

All in all, the odds were in my favor.

“So… how am I a lifesaver?”

“Ah, well, we’re mainly an administrative branch of Gentleman for Mares. We take care of a lot of the requests and process forms for clients. Request forms get sent here in bulk, usually from new clients. We check their backgrounds, keep track of special conditions for each client, and so forth.”

“Sounds like a lot of work,” I commented. “How much paperwork do you process?”

“Depends on a lot of factors. The current season, weather forecasts, travel fare, social events… even the latest fashion and trends in cuisine, believe it or not. Though, to put it in perspective, we cover the region within Appleloosa, Las Pegasus, and Canterlot, and everything in between. That’s a good third or so of Equestria right there.”

“Wow… and it’s just you and Manila that do the work?” I asked in amazement.

“Huh?” She blinked. “Oh! No, no, we’ve got about two dozen employees here, not including our soon-to-be Gentlemen. Most of the staff should be here in about another fifteen minutes, though. It’s only ten in the morning, after all. We run a later shift here.” She frowned. “Until recently, we had been on the brink of getting a cut in our branch’s budget for the year, possibly even having our doors closed. We offered to start a small bit of Gentlemen training in hopes that it would alleviate the strain on the bigger branches, if only a little. Five was the minimum, and we just met it.”

Huh. I guess I had just saved the business a bit. Not a bad start to a new job, I suppose. “Well, either way, um… when do I start?”

Silky smiled, finally getting down from my lap and landing back on the floor. “You’ll be starting this coming Wednesday with Alex. I’ll get you acquainted with your fellow Gentlemen, and introduce you to your teachers.”

“Teachers?” I repeated, a little baffled. It must have shown, for Silky smiled while giving me a slight nod.

“Mhm, Ambrosia, Pizzelle, and Royal Ribbon. Each Gentleman will have three teachers: one unicorn, one pegasus, and one earth pony. That way we can properly prepare your for dealing with all three races.” Silky leaned a little closer to me and whispered. “Considering that we only have five Gentlemen here, Manehattan HQ saw it fit that all of you each get one-on-one training, so the teachers won’t have to worry about instructing more than one Gentleman. That’s almost unheard of for the company!” She seemed rather excited by this if the clopping together of her hooves was any indication. It was actually quite adorable.

“Well, I’m looking forward to it, heh.” I gave her a small smile. “I have to admit, though, I have no idea what to expect other than… you know…”

Silky nodded. “Don’t worry. Like I said, we’ll be sure to get you comfortable with the many aspects of the job. The company as a whole puts in a lot of effort to train and help our service providers. This won’t be a trial by fire, I promise you that. Erm, that’s how the expression goes, right?”

“Close enough,” I laughed softly, getting up from the couch. “So, I guess I’ll be seeing you Wednesday, then, right?”

“Yep, Wednesday, nine in the morning. Oh, and we’ll be serving breakfast, so keep that in mind.” Silky beamed as she made her way out of the room with me following behind.

As we entered the main lobby, Manila looked up from her typewriter and to Silky. Silky gave the bespectacled mare a nod, and Manila grinned, turning to me. “Welcome aboard!” She fished out a pamphlet from her desk, and set it out before me. “If you could, please read that over before the meeting next week Wednesday. It has a bit more information on what we stand for as a business, and a little bit on what you as a Gentleman should expect from us as your employer.” She turned back towards her desk after giving me a nod, only to quickly add. “Oh, right! We’ll be hooking up one of those new telephone lines in about a month, so if you ever need to reach us, we have a number to get a hold of. The numbers are not yet in service, but they’re printed in the pamphlet.”

“Will do,” I replied with a nod, taking the pamphlet, which was a simple silhouette of a male human with a white necktie.

“We’ll obviously have to go through the necessary paperwork before we officially hire you, but you can consider yourself hired.” Silky reached out with a hoof, and it took me a minute to catch on. I smiled, and grabbed her offered hoof in my hands, kneeled a bit, and shook it firmly. “Welcome to our little family, Mr. Halverson.”

“You know, I have to admit, I was half-expecting you to be pissed off at me right now,” Gabe laughed as we sat outside a small café. Alex and Gabe had left a note on my apartment door, telling me they were going to be having a late lunch, and figured one way or another, I’d want to talk to them about today.

“Oh, don’t get me wrong, I still would like to deck you across the face,” I grumbled while finishing the last of a black bean burger and caesar salad. “Right now, though, I’m still trying to figure out whether I’m going to regret this later or not. I mean… it sounds nice, but it also seems almost too good to be true, you know? The fact that I took the job partially because you two did scares me a little.”

“Peer pressure’s a bitch, huh?” Gabe joked, earning a scowl from me. “Oh, come on, lighten up a bit. Silky has high hopes for us, and from what I can tell, she’s been very particular about possible Gentlemen, so I’d say we’re going to be fine. I mean, after I explained I was dating Amber, she knew I was a good fit for working for them.”

“Makes sense, I guess. What about you, Alex?” I asked, looking to our friend, who was reading another newspaper, this one from Canterlot.

He looked to me and shrugged. “I told her I don’t mind the idea. That was about it.”

Ah, Alex, the master of nonchalance. “Just like that?”

“Yep.” He returned to his paper. “I wasn’t sure about you, though. I was with Gabe on the whole thing and expecting you to be chasing us both down with a baseball bat or something.”

“Thanks for the show of faith, guys,” I mumbled, setting my now empty plate aside. “So, was there any other reason why we’re meeting at a café of all places? Usually we just go down to Beedee’s tavern for this sort of thing.”

“Yeah, actually,” Gabe began. “I figured you guys would like to meet Amber, seeing as you haven’t yet. She’s not working today, so I biked over to her place after my meeting and asked if she wanted to stop by and meet you guys.” He looked at his wrist watch. “She said she’d be here a little after one.”

I looked to my own watch. It was about twenty after one right now. “Hm, well, she’s probably on her way, then.” I noticed an earth pony mare heading towards us, a spring in her step as soon as she looked to Gabe. “Is that her?”

Gabe spun around, and his face lit up noticeably. “Hey!”

Amber’s face split into a wide smile. “Gabe, sorry I’m late! Mayfly, Thimble, and Two Bits needed my help moving a few things into their new home, and I lost track of time.” She noticed Alex and I, then turned back to Gabe. “These boys your friends that I’ve heard so much about?”

“Yep. Alex, Darren, meet Amber.”

Alex nodded politely. “Pleased to meet you, Amber. Glad someone could rein this lunatic in a bit.”

“Yeah, thanks for keeping our friend under control, Amber. We owe you for that,” I added. Gabe rolled his eyes while Amber giggled a bit.

Amber’s name fit her well. Her coat was a deep shade of orange, her long, flowing mane was a golden yellow with streaks of brown and red intermingling with it. Her cutie mark, I noticed, was a trio of gold and—surprise, surprise—amber colored stones. Her bright green eyes were the only thing that skewed away from the rest of her body’s color scheme. Her cheeks and muzzle were covered in freckles, giving her a rather youthful look. She couldn’t have been much older than Gabe judging by her looks.

“So, Gabe told me you boys are going to be working for Gentleman for Mares, huh?” she asked conversationally.

“Yeah, apparently Gabe forgot to give us the heads up on what the company was all about,” I said with a sigh.

Amber’s ears flattened a bit. “Oh, um… did you not want to work there?”

“Huh? Oh! No, I mean, I don’t mind the idea of working there. It’s just… how do I put this…?” I frowned. “It’s just…”

“Darren’s never been with a mare before,” Gabe explained simply. For once, Gabe’s tendency to speak out of turn had helped.

Amber turned to me with a questioning look, and I nodded, confirming Gabe’s reply. The mare’s eyes widened a little. “Ohhh, that makes sense then,” she laughed. “Well, rest assured, we don’t bite.”

Gabe turned to me and without missing a beat, said, “Yes, they do.”

“Gabe!” Amber weakly chastised. “Be nice.”

“Fine, fine.” He got up from the table and placed some money on the table. “Well, boys, Amber and I were actually planning on running a few errands today, and tomorrow we’re both going to visit her folks.” I couldn’t help but notice the trepidation in his words at that last part. I bit back the laugh in the back of my throat as he continued. “I’ll see you Wednesday.”

“Later,” called Alex, looking up from his paper. “Amber, it was nice meeting you. Hopefully we can all plan an actual get-together sometime.”

Amber gave a slight nod to us. “We’ll have to do that sooner rather than later. Take care, boys.”

I gave the two a wave as they made their way down the road towards their apartment. I couldn’t help but chuckle as Gabe’s hand rested on her neck as they disappeared within the busy lunch hour crowd.

“Heh, that’s cute,” I commented as I set aside my plate. “She seems nice.”

Alex laughed quietly and shook his head amusedly, “She has him wrapped around her hoof.”

“Oh, no kidding,” I agreed. “I can’t remember the last time Gabe actually went and met a girlfriend’s folks. What was it… sophomore year in high school?”

“Yeah, I think so.” Alex shrugged. “I wonder how Amber managed to get him to agree to that.”

“Maybe Gabe’s being serious this time? I mean… Equestria has mellowed him out a bit.” I pulled out my coin purse and laid down some bits for the meal. “So, what are your plans for the rest of the weekend?”

“Sugar and I are going to a small town south of here… Saddlebury, I think it’s called? There’s a local carnival there, and she goes there every year with her cousin Lemon Hearts and some friends. She asked if I wanted to go with.”

I smiled as Alex turned the page of his newspaper, doing his best to hide the slight reddening of his cheeks.

“That’s great,” I said with a grin. “Tell her I said ‘hi’, alright?”

Alex looked up. “Sure thing. You heading home, then?”

“Yeah, not much else I have planned for this weekend right now. Maybe I’ll got to the cinema and see one of the Equestrian movies.”

“Mm. Let me know if you see anything good to take Sugar too.” Alex frowned a bit, then added. “When I say good, I mean, ‘not a crappy romance comedy if you can help it’.”

“I’ll see if anything stands out for you, then,” I laughed as I got up from my seat and gave him a nod. “See you Wednesday, then?”

“Yep, later,” Alex said, returning to his paper.

With that, I made my way home. I couldn’t help but hum to myself, happy with the sudden change of luck.

End of Chapter Two

Author's Note

If there's anything missing here, blame it on the importing between Gdocs to Fimfic. I can spend hours scouring these, but I always seem to miss something, heh.

Anyway, here's chapter two, and thus the start of our protagonist's journey into Gentlemanly work. Should prove to be interesting, no?

Credit for helping me with looking this over and editing goes to Firesight, AJ Aficionado, and of course, Demon Eyes Laharl.