You Don't Want HIS Help...

"OW!!" Apple Bloom yelped as she sat down at her desk. Rubbing her flank, she pulled a thumbtack out from underneath. She turned to glare at the giggling culprits "Real funny, Diamond Tiara. Did you come up with that one all by yourself?"

"Well, I just thought ponies could use some assistance in locating your blank flank, so I thought I'd pinpoint it for them!" Diamond laughed causing Apple Bloom to become even more irritated.

"Why, I oughta..." she growled, but Sweetie Belle reached out to stop her "No, Apple Bloom! Remember what your sister said? If you get into trouble again, you can't go candy collecting with us!"

"Dang it, you're right...but I don't want to let them get away with it again!"

"She's right, it's really not worth it, Bloom." Scootaloo agreed. Smirking, Diamond went to open her mouth again, but Miss Cheerilee came back into the room before she could speak.

"Alright, my little ponies, listen closely. As you all know, the big Nightmare Night celebration is coming up this Friday. We will be having a little celebration of our own in class that day..." she smiled and waited for the class to finish cheering "...and I wanted to go over a few details. First, you can wear your costumes to school if you wish. Second, Princess Twilight will be coming to visit us for the afternoon..."

"This is getting better and better, you guys!" Apple Bloom said excitedly.

"So, show up in your costumes and make sure you bring something sweet to share with your classmates!" Cheerilee finished, just as the bell rang.

"Remember, class, you have three days to prepare! I'll see you all tomorrow." The class filed out of the room, the Cutie Mark Crusaders taking the lead in an instant.

"Alright, so how do you propose we get those two back on Friday?" Apple Bloom said, causing Sweetie Belle to groan and Scootaloo to do a facehoof.

"I can't believe you're so hung up on this. It was just a tack on your seat." Scootaloo said. Apple Bloom shook her head "First it's the tack on the chair, next thing you know we'll be constantly bombarded with fake spiders and the like!"

"Ugh, I REALLY don't like the sound of that..." Sweetie's lip wobbled in fear "You know what...I'm with Apple Bloom on this one. Those two are going to go way too far."

"Exactly. We need to pull off something incredible. And I think I know just the pony to help us out with this..."

***

"Hmmm....so a plot of revenge is what you seek. And you want it by the end of the week?" Zecora rubbed her chin thoughtfully. The CMC were sitting around her table, cups of tea before them.

"Exactly!" Scootaloo said "Something like Poison Joke, or a funky kind of potion! Can you do that, huh?"

Zecora chuckled "Alas, those methods are too extreme. However, I know how to make them scream."

The zebra made her way over to a cluttered bookshelf, where she began to peruse the various titles. After a moment, she pulled out a large, dusty old tome.

"Inside this book are beings of lore. Summon one, you are bullied no more." Zecora slid the book over to the three fillies. Apple Bloom read the title out loud.

"Pranks and Poltergeists: A Mischief-Maker's Directory," Apple Bloom looked at her friends, confused "Whaddaya suppose it means?"

"I don't know. Sounds like a dictionary or something boring like that." Scootaloo yawned. Zecora shook her head "This book is full of helpful ghosts, who will gladly fix what ails you most."

"Oh! So it's like a prank service, then?" Sweetie Belle asked.

"You are correct, correct indeed. I think you'll find the help you'll need." Zecora left the book with them and went over to do something in the kitchen.

"Wow, this is really cool! All we have to do is summon one of these ghosts, and they'll help us get back at those two jerks!" Apple Bloom said excitedly. She began to flip through the book "Lessee...oh, here's one! Peeves..." she mused.

"No, he seems kind of violent. Remember, we don't want to hurt them, just teach them a lesson." Sweetie reminded her friend. She flipped a couple of pages "I like the look of this Bail Witch. She would give them the biggest scare of their lives!"

"Woah...did you actually read about what she's done, first? Jeez, we don't want to traumatize these guys." Scootaloo said. She took the book and began flipping, then she stopped "This one's perfect!"

"Let's see..." Apple Bloom began to read the ad out loud "Got a problem with a pest? Call Be...Bet...how do you say his name?"

"I...think it says 'Beetlejuice'." Sweetie Belle said, then recoiled in disgust "Ew, seriously? What if he's a giant bug?"

"Oh, calm down. It says he's a Bio-Exorcist...that's like an exterminator, right? Somebody who gets rid of annoying pests?" Scootaloo retorted.

"You're right. All we have to do is say his name three times." Apple Bloom mused. She paused for a moment, then looked at her friends "What do you guys think? Should we call him?"

"It wouldn't hurt. Besides, it seems easy enough. Sweetie? What do you think?"

Sweetie Belle sighed "You know, I'm just as sick of those guys picking on us all the time as you two are. Let's do it!"

"Okay...here goes." Apple Bloom took a deep breath "Beetlej-"

"STOP!!!" Zecora yelled, slamming the book shut "Whether the sun is bright or going dim, NEVER think of calling him!"

"What? What's so bad about Beet-MMMrrmph!!!" Sweetie Belle got a hoof in the mouth.

"While some ghosts here are helpful and kind, this one has twisted things in mind." Zecora took the book back over to the shelf.

"Did you have some sort of bad experience with him?" Scootaloo asked, keeping an eye on Sweetie Belle so that she didn't slip up again.

Zecora sighed "Alas, I must honestly say that I was a fool in my younger days. This spirit with the dreaded name, he claims to help but just brings shame."

"What did he do that was so bad?" Apple Bloom asked, sipping her tea "I mean, did he embarrass you, or..."

"Enough of this, the day grows late! Come see me on another date." Zecora seemed extremely upset now. She was muttering to herself. The CMC took the hint and began to rise from the table.

"Um...if you're mad at us, we won't bother you again..." Sweetie said cautiously, the three fillies slowly edging their way to the door. Zecora seemed shocked to hear this.

"How could you think of such a thing? To hate a child would be a sin." Zecora shook her head "Forgive me, I was not myself. But promise you won't ask HIS help." she shuddered at this.

"Okay...if you really want us to do this honestly, we promise we won't summon...it." Scootaloo said. Zecora smiled.

"I'm pleased to hear you've chosen right. But you must head home, for it's nearly night." She walked over and opened the door for the CMC. The girls filed out the door, saying their goodbyes as they did. Once the door closed, however, Apple Bloom turned to the others.

"Ok, we aren't REALLY going to not summon this guy, right? I mean, he's just what we need!"

"Zecora said it was a really bad idea. And if we can't trust her..." Sweetie replied "I say we just go do some harmless pranks and..."

"NO!!!!" Scootaloo said angrily, and her friends jumped "We've been getting pushed around by those two jerks for far too long! I don't care what Zecora says this time!"

"Don't do anything stupid, girl!" Apple Bloom said nervously "Come on, let's just go to Sugarcube Corner for a..."

"Beetlejuice..." Scootaloo began. Sweetie yelped and dove to cover her mouth, but Scootaloo sidestepped and said "Beetlejuice!"

"NOOOOO!!!" Apple Bloom jumped on her friend, and just managed to shut her up "Are you crazy, Scootaloo?! If you say it three times..."

"Actually, it is kind of silly when you think about it." Sweetie Belle mused "I mean, nobody can be summoned just by name alone...unless you're talking about Pinkie Pie."

"You know, it probably wouldn't have worked anyway." Scootaloo grumbled, pushing Apple Bloom off of her.

"Exactly! Besides, what kind of a name is Beetlejuice, anyway?" Sweetie giggled.

"Yeah, I always wondered what the fuck my mother was smoking when she coined that one."