Princess Pee Challenge

Princess Celestia tossed and turned in her bed. For the first time in a a long time, she was having difficulty nodding off. Her dear little sister, Princess Luna, was out dream travelling – helping out ponies who were currently trapped in their own nightmares, and assisting them in conquering their own dark subconscious thoughts and feelings. Being the busy Alicorn Princess that she was, Celestia was usually pretty exhausted when dusk arrived, and enjoyed her beauty sleep very much.

Tonight however, was a different story. The Princess tried with all her might to drift off into dreamland, but something was bothering her. It wasn’t her wandering mind, nor any feelings of controversy over some political problem which was keeping her awake. No, it was something much smaller, and yet somehow still unbearably irritating…. it was her bladder.

Celestia hadn’t needed to pee when she used the bathroom half an hour ago, to brush her princess teeth and wash her princess coat in the royal shower. It wasn’t until she had tucked herself into bed that the urge to go had suddenly struck her. The castle had many bathrooms, but the nearest one was located across the hall, a few doors down from her bedroom. Even for a strong, immortal being like Celestia, it seemed like such a chore to go now. Alas, after shuffling around trying to take her mind off the sensation, the Princess realised she had no choice, and groaned as she left the bed to attend to herself.

As Celestia proceeded to open the door to her bedroom, it seemed a little heavier than usual. Rather annoyed, Celestia yanked it open with her magic, only to find herself caught completely by surprise as she came face to face with a familiar and very unexpected character.

He stood tall and slender on two feet; one paw, and one claw. He was an odd mixture of colours, ranging from dull grays to bright yellows, and every single part of his body was completely different from the rest. He grinned at the Princess,

“Celestia!! I’m so glad you’re awake!”

“D…Discord?” The Princess addressed him in confusion. “What are you doing here at this hour?”

“Oh, I come here at night all the time!” The draconequus answered innocently, “but you’re usually asleep,” his face turned to an exaggerated expression of sadness, “….so I leave.”

“What… why? Why do you come here at night?” Celestia felt a little violated by that news.

Discord put on a dramatic tone,

“Well you see, it’s a little embarrassing to admit.” He shuffled his feet, “but I have always dreamed of having a slumber party with a princess, but I am deeply afraid of my invitation being rejected, especially by you. So instead, I come here in the night, to see if you are ever bored or longing for company so that I can present myself in a delightful manner and brighten your evening! Alas, you never are. You are always so deep in sleep that you don’t even notice when I'm here.”

“That’s creepy, Discord, ” Celestia raised an eyebrow, “please don’t do that again.”

“Oh woah is me.” The Draconequus wailed, “I always thought that friends were supposed to have slumber parties together. There was even a book about it! Is this not the case after all? Am I a little behind the times? Oh how will I ever understand this friendship thing?”

Celestia sighed. Being the kind hearted alicorn she was, she felt somewhat pitiful toward Discord, but right now she just wanted to go to the bathroom, pee, and finally get some rest.

“Discord, I’ve had a long day, and right now I really need to use the bathroom and get my beauty sleep so that I have the energy to raise the sun and go about my duties tomorrow. Why don’t you go and ask Fluttershy if she would like to have a sleepover with you instead?” She explained as kindly as possible.

“Oh I would love to have a sleepover with Fluttershy!” Discord’s eyes sparkled at the idea, “but her being the sweetheart she is, she is quite busy right now taking care of some sick baby bunnies and nursing them back to health. I don’t think it would be appropriate for me to be there at the moment. I’d be much better off having a sleepover with you, after all we are friends aren’t we?”

He clasped his hands together hopefully, but this time Celestia was having none of it.

“I am very busy Discord. Please go home, we can hang out some other time but right now I really just need to get to the bathroom.” She walked past the saddened creature, turning her back on him as she headed down the corridor.

Discord watched the alicorn pass him by, and grumbled to himself woefully. Then, he had an idea. Using his tiny wings, Discord flew to catch up with the princess.

“So…you need to use the bathroom do you?” He asked,

“Yes.” Celestia replied, trying not to show her annoyance. “I’ll see you another time.”

“What if I make you a deal?” Discord blocked the Princesses path.

She was about to use her magic to teleport past him, when the Draconequus snapped his fingers and the corridor before them suddenly transformed. It became much, much longer, which in turn made the bathroom much, much further away.

“Discord!” Celestia snapped, “stop fooling around! Change it back!”

Despite being a skilled user of magic herself, Celestia had no power when it came to altering reality. That kind of chaotic magic could only be used by beings designed to cast that kind of chaotic magic. She stomped her hoof and scowled at Discord.

“Oh I will,” Discord assured her, “in due time, but for now, I would like to suggest we play a little game.”

“This is no time for games.” Celestia frowned, “this is time for sleep Discord, for the last time, go home.”

“You can’t send me home now old chum.” Discord taunted, “you see, this corridor is endless. You can run for hours and you’ll never reach your precious bathroom, and peeing on the floor isn’t a very princess-y thing to do now is it, imagine what the castle's cleaners would say if they found out that you of all ponies had a little accident during the night.”

Celestia scowled.

“Just put the corridor back the way it was Discord, or I will punish you for this.” She threatened.

The princess felt a small glimmer of hope when she saw the draconequus lift his hand, and snap his fingers once more… but this soon died when a large bucket appeared between them both.

“You really should just hear the rules of my game Celestia.” Discord pouted, snapping his fingers a third time to produce a hosepipe, which was somehow plugged into an unknown source coming from a small nearby portal.

Discord lifted the hose above the bucket, and smiled as water began to spray out into it. Celestia gulped and gazed at the running water.

“It’s more of a challenge really; a test of great will, fit for a strong alicorn Princess such as yourself.”

Celestia turned her head - the water was making her need the bathroom even more.

“Discord, turn it off!”

He ignored the instruction and continued to talk.

“Here's the deal - If you play, I will put the corridor back the way it was. Also, I will never turn up at the castle again, night or day. And if you win, you will even receive the special Discord Medal of will power!” A golden medallion appeared dangling from his tail on a thick chain, it had an image of Discord’s face displaying great determination.

Celestia tried not to look at the water, she was slightly curious about the challenge, but she couldn’t change her mind now, could she?

Discord continued, “We are friends are we not?” He asked, “Won’t you just play this one game with me? Or do Princesses not have time to spare for their friends?”

The water continued to spray out into the bucket, and Celestia’s tail twitched in aggravation. After a few more minutes, she decided that perhaps playing with Discord wouldn’t be all that bad. At least then he would stop tormenting her - which she was definitely going to punish him for anyway, once she was in a better position to do so.

“Fine.” She replied sternly, “I’ll play your game. One time. Then you leave. Understand?”

Discord’s face lit up in excitement. He clapped his hands,

“Oh excellent! You really are such a good friend Celestia, taking time out of your busy sleeping schedule to entertain me!”

“Alright, alright.” The Princess rolled her eyes, “what are the rules of this game? Let’s just get this over with.”

Discord snapped his fingers again, and suddenly the two of them were teleported back inside her bedroom… along with the bucket, the hose, and the portal.

Celestia glanced around,

“Discord, first let me go to the bat….” She started to say,

The Draconequus cheekily hushed her by putting a finger to her mouth.

“No no.” He replied, “That would ruin the fun. You see, it turns out that you are already quite familiar with the rules of this game.”

Celestia tilted her head, “What in Equestria do you mean by that?” She asked angrily.

“The challenge is simple.” Discord smiled as the he reached through the portal and turned the hose off.

“All you have to do, Princess, is hold your bladder. No matter what I do, and no matter how badly you need to go, you have to hold it.”

“What?” Celestia gasped, “that’s not a game!”

“Oh but it is!” Discord assured her, “it’s a really fun game actually! A test of great will, of which I am sure you will pass. Unless of course... you are afraid?”

“I am not afraid!” Celestia stated bluntly.

She couldn't stand being called that word - she was the most respected Princess in all of Equestria, she had travelled all over, battled monsters, seen terrifying things - she wasn't going to be scared off by one little game. After giving it some thought, Celestia decided to accept the challenge, much to the delight of her companion.

“How long must I hold it?” She asked in a serious tone.

“Oh I don’t know…” Discord mumbled, “shall we say… an hour?”

“Make it two hours.” Celestia replied, before adding “and if I win, you will be my personal castle assistant for the entire week.”

Discord laughed at the idea.

“Alright Princess, you have yourself a deal.”

They gave a hearty hoof-paw shake to make the wager legitimate. Then Celestia sat down, determined not to be defeated, and Discord readied the hose - determined to ensure her defeat.

The Draconequus reached into the portal he had created, and turned the hose back on, this time ever so slightly. A tiny droplet of water soon appeared at it’s very tip, which he held up for Celestia to see. The princess gazed at the drop stubbornly for a few seconds. Then it fell, creating a small echoing ‘drip’ noise which Celestia felt right through her entire body.

Shortly after, another droplet was formed which also fell into the bucket. Discord held the hose firm and smiled as droplet after droplet followed. Celestia gazed at each one, and listened to them fall, all the while maintaining a stubborn, determined expression.

Drip,

Drip,

Drip,

Drip

Drip

....This was going to be a long game.