TRIGGER WARNING:
Mentions of rape, drug abuse and attempted suicide. I'm earning my dark tag here, folks. Don't like, don't read.

Luna found her there hours later, gazing with hollow, despondent eyes at the piano. “Sister, what is the matter?” she asked softly. “Night Court ended hours ago, and Twilight and her friends have all retired for the night.” Stirred slightly out of her reverie, Celestia roused herself enough to approach the piano and hit one melancholic note.

“I’m not sure, Lulu.” A forlorn sigh escaped her lips. “I still love her. I love her so much,” she murmured as she began to tear up once more. “But she pushed me away, and I don’t know how to fix it. It hurts, Lulu.” She whispered hoarsely as her sister nuzzled her consolingly. “And the worst part is I don’t think she even wanted to. If she had, then I could play the bigger mare and let her go for her happiness. But… Yìhán, yìhán. I remember using that one fairly often.” Celestia conjectured, as her thoughts began to churn. “Why was she sorry…? And why did she say she can't do something to me?” Celestia began musing to herself as her posture straightened. "There is something going on here, something I'm missing." Luna decided to wisely keep her mouth shut on the subject, only offering an encouraging smile. Perhaps Tia would talk out her problems with Yin, like a grown mare-- “I do believe Hazu-chan and I need to have a little talk, she must know something.” Celestia declared, missing Luna’s face hoof as she bid her sister good night and quit the balcony. Just as Luna was about to follow her sister, she felt a presence approaching. Whispering to the shadows, she melted into them while a familiar figure entered the balcony. Moonlight glinting off silvery fur, as the source of her sister’s heartache approached the piano in silence. Sitting stiffly on the low bench, Yinfâng ran hesitant claws in a few practice bars, her timid notes growing surer with practice. Just as Luna was contemplating confronting the former leopard, she noticed tears glittering in silver fur before the most beautiful melody she had heard in a long time began floating on the cool night air. As she listened to the descant grow in intensity, she heard in the music what Yin perhaps would never say out loud. It felt as though she were saying a sorrowful farewell. Stepping even deeper into the shadows, Luna swam through their velvet darkness until she emerged in her own quarters. Something wasn’t sitting right with her. Perhaps she would instigate her own investigation of this enigmatic stranger.

__ . . . . . . : * : . . . . . . __

Celestia sighed in frustration. It had been a long, agonizing two weeks of no progress on the 'Yinfâng Project'. After their little encounter, Yin retained an agonizing politeness towards her that reminded her of their first few weeks of acquaintance. Despite all her best efforts, the chimera remained so obstinately distant it made her want to cry, or yell and throw things. And her irritation was beginning to show. The last couple of days those ponies she worked closely with on a regular basis started asking her if she was feeling alright. Her assistant even suggested she take some time off! Just before she snapped under the pressure, her sister had distracted her by asking for a private talk at her soonest convenience.

She had solicited in a tone of voice that said Celestia might not like what she had to say, and the looming tension had made an already strained day nigh intolerable. Lulu was probably going to chew her out for being rather short towards the generals in the home security meeting the other day, the glare Luna had shot her sister with would have dropped a manticore at twenty yards. Sighing again in consternation this time, she headed toward the private gardens she and Luna used to talk alone.

Luna paced with stiff agitation in front of the decorative fountain that graced the center of the gardens. She knew Celestia had been sounding out Hazuki about Yin’s behavior, but her clouded judgment kept her from making any real progress. Why even she, Queen of the Night (and covert ops) turned up very little in her scrutiny. What she did find, however, was rather serious. She wasn’t sure how her sister would take it, either the news itself or the methods Luna used to obtain it. Either way, she was not looking forward to this little chat.

“You wanted to talk with me, little sister?” A warm voice suddenly emerged from the curve in the path. Luna gave a tight nod and gestured for Celestia to join her by the fountain.

“Indeed I have, sister. We… fear we have ill news for thee, and we suspect thou art not going to like it, or how we came in possession of it,” Luna started as she shifted her eyes away and pawed a hoof nervously on the cobbled stone. “Thou must realize, Tia, we were just trying to help, because thou wert so upset and—we art rambling. Forgive us. We decided to investigate thy friend, Yinfâng.” She blurted, flinching.

“You did what!” Celestia squawked, outrage plain in her features as she snorted with frustration. She huffed and paced for just a minute before deflating with a sigh. “...What did you find? Hazuki was a steel trap, and I can’t spy my way out of a Daring Do novel.” She sighed as she sat in dejection.

“Thou wert too close to the situation Celestia; tis not thine fault.” Luna soothed, taking a seat across from her sister. “We found precious little ourselves. However, what we did find disturbed us, and we felt it necessary to bring it to thy attention.” The Night Princess inhaled deeply, bracing herself for what would come next. “We ordered some of our best guards follow Yinfâng discreetly. Most noted that she seemed to be contracting an illness of some sort, observing her breaking into coughing fits somewhat regularly the last week and a half. Our sharpest observed that at certain times of thy day, Yin would sequester herself some place secluded, and…” Luna narrowed her eyes. “Pull out what appeared to be a pipe…Sister, we believe thy friend is using drugs of some kind,” she stated carefully as she tried to gauge Celestia’s reaction.

“She would never!” Celestia shouted indignantly, affronted on her friend’s behalf. “Yin has always been extremely health-conscious! Why, she trains every--” Celestia cut herself off abruptly as her eyes widened in realization. “At least, she used to…did any of your guards see her doing any kind of martial training, or exercising of any kind?” Celestia asked intently, her voice sounding strained.

“No, no pony reported any strenuous physical activity. In fact, Night Gaze noted that she seemed to grow winded quickly when doing anything physically demanding. We-I take it that is out of character for her?” Luna queried gently.

“Yes,” Celestia admitted. “Honestly, she makes our best soldiers look positively lazy compared to her usual regimen. And I have never known her to let illness show. I once caught her working with a high fever, and I only caught it because, well…” Celestia mumbled in embarrassment. “I caught it several hours later than I should have. She is incredibly disciplined.” The Sun Princess continued smoothly, schooling her features into her usual façade.

“Ou-my guards reported her keeping the pipe and whatever she smoked in it within a pouch secreted somewhere in her cloak. What do you want to do, Tia?” Luna asked seriously, a grave expression on her face. “Do you let it slide? Or do you confront her? And if you do, you know she will ask how you found out. This may well destroy any chance you had, as well as your friendship and her trust in you. Are you willing to risk that?”

“I-I don’t know, Lulu,” Celestia whispered, her head bowed in uncertainly. “Thank you for coming to me with this, though I am still unhappy you used the methods you did. I appreciate the gesture,” she smiled reassuringly before it dissolved into a pensive frown. “I will have to think on the matter.”
“She goes there every night Tia,” Luna murmured softly. “Always just after Night Court. She plays beautifully.” At Celestia’s shocked stare, Luna smiled lightly. “Perhaps you should go tonight.” Leaving her sister to reflect in peace, Luna left the garden to get a bite to eat before Night Court started. Her dear sister had much to consider.

_...:*:..._

There she was. It was just as her sister had said. Celestia watched from across the hallway as Yinfâng entered the balcony. With a quiet reverence, she flipped open the protective key guard and whispered her claw tips over the ivory keys. Celestia tip-hoofed over to the door, standing just outside them as her beloved began playing a gentle melody she didn’t recognize. As her claws elegantly ghosted across the keys, Celestia lost herself in the music as she watched Yin play. She made playing the piano look so effortless, her skilled claw tips dancing beautifully; a great contrast to her clumsiness when she'd first started out, though Celestia had enjoyed watching her just as much back then.

As she wound to a conclusion, Celestia stepped out onto the balcony. Without so much as a glance in her direction, Yin flowed into another melody she did not recognize. It swelled powerfully, the notes seeming to swirl magically around her. Celestia could only stand immobile, the poignant harmony bringing tears to her eyes. Why did it feel like she was saying goodbye in her song? As the last notes faded into the night, Celestia approached Yin and sat beside her.

“You’ve improved,” she noted smiling at Yin tenderly. “It was beautiful, Yin.” Her companion remained silent. “I’ve been worried about you,” Celestia admitted. “You haven’t been acting quite…yourself. Are you feeling we--”

“I know you’ve had ponies shadowing me,” Yin interrupted, still not looking at her. “And you’ve been questioning Hazuki about me.” Slightly alarmed, Celestia jumped to justify herself.

“I’m so sorry Yin, I’ve just been worried about —wait, you knew my sister’s guards were following you?” She asked, perplexed. Chuckling wryly, Yin finally turned her pale verdant orbs to meet Celestia’s.

“Of course. I haven’t gotten that rusty, you know.” She chucked again, rolling her eyes playfully. "Didn't know they were you sister's, though."

“You let them follow you, didn’t you?” Celestia stated contritely, as her friend began lightly coughing into her claw. “But why? Did you want someone to find out? I know about the pipe, Yin. What are you hiding? Please, won’t you tell me what—Yin?!” Celestia suddenly cried, as the chimera crumpled to the ground, hacking violently as she struggled to breathe. The princess could only watch as Yin's eyes rolled up into her head as she passed out. To her credit, Celestia abstained from panicking-- until she found the drops of blood in the palm of Yin’s claw. Eyes widening in fear at the sight, Celestia’s horn flared brightly as the two vanished in a blinding flash of light.

An hour later, a frantic kirin found the Princess wearing a path on the floor of the waiting room in the castle’s medical wing.

“I was just informed Yin collapsed! Where is she, is she alright?!” Hazuki rattled as Celestia’s hoof steps paused long enough to greet her distractedly.

“The doctor should be out any minute--” she started, before they both whipped their heads toward the sound of a door opening. An officious pale blue unicorn stallion glanced up from his clipboard as he stepped out to greet them, trying not to quail under the two intense gazes boring down on him.

“Your Highness; your Grace,” he nodded in nervous acknowledgment. “My name is Dr. Mortar. If you will please follow me?” he marched back through the doors he came in, leading them down several bland hallways to a row of offices near the back.

“What’s wrong with Yinfâng, doctor?” Celestia pleaded as he closed the door with a nudge of orange magic.

“Princess, your friend is in very bad shape,” he started grimly. Motioning to some charts hanging on the wall. “We found signs of deterioration in her lungs, as well as heavy traces of an unknown substance in her blood stream. We suspect this is the source of the deterioration. We also found what looks like mild smoke damage in her esophagus and trachea as well.” He described, pointing to a few blurry photos on the light board fastened to the wall.

“The substance in her blood. How bad is it?” Hazuki asked with a strained voice, her visage one of barely contained resignation. The doctor eyed her pensively.

“You have been traveling with her, correct?” he asked. “Do you know what she has been taking? Because if you do and you let her--” he broke off, startled, as tears trailed down the Kirin’s face.

“Please, Hazu-chan,” Princess Celestia implored softly. “It’s whatever she was smoking isn’t it? If you know what it is…” Hazuki, bowing her head in defeat, reached into her mane and pulled out the pouch she had hidden there.

“It’s called Koibito no Yoru-- Lover’s Night.” She whispered as she plopped the pouch on the table. “It’s harmless to kirin, but dangerously addictive to Lóngrén--eastern dragons,” she clarified quietly, not meeting Celestia’s eyes.

“I see,” the Doctor murmured as he carefully collected a sample. “What are its effects?”

“It’s a… type of opiate, mostly,” she hedged as the doctor hummed over his notes.

“And how long has she been taking it?” the doctor asked without looking up from his clipboard.

“I’d have to guess about seventy to eighty years,” Hazuki mumbled dully as Celestia looked at her sharply.

“that’s a very long time, I’m surprised she’s still alive,” Dr. Mortar stated bluntly.

“Kirin are very resilient to poisons.” Hazuki explained while ignoring Celestia’s attempts to get her attention.

“Thank you for your cooperation, I’ll have this sample sent to the labs for testing. In the meantime, if you wish to visit her she is in room #215. Just down the hall, first right then a left.” He waved a hoof distractedly shooing the Princess and Priestess out of his office, but not before Celestia grabbed the pouch in her telekinesis on her way out. They didn’t make it very far before Celestia rounded almost viciously on Hazuki.

“You knew she was taking it and you--” she hissed before Hazuki cut her off.

“Yes. She’d been taking it for too long before I got to her Celestia, and--” Celestia interrupted her angrily.

“So why didn’t you make her stop?! She was coughing up blood Hazuki!” Celestia snarled, stamping a hoof furiously.

“I can’t just ‘make her stop’!” Hazuki argued vehemently. “Even you cannot--”she ceased mid-rebuttal at the livid expression on Celestia’s face, her eyes on the pouch levitating between them in a golden shimmer. “Tia what are you--” she flinched as the temperature spiked dangerously around her.

“Watch me,” Celestia jeered as she ignited the bag in a sudden burst of flame, leaving nothing but ashes to drift to the floor.

“NO! What have you done?” Hazuki screeched, eyes wide in horror, lifting a hoof toward the ashes as if trying to salvage their remains. Trembling, she slowly sank to the floor along with the ashes, tears splashing amongst the soot.

“I did what you would not,” Celestia stated coldly, glaring down at her friend, who only quivered beneath her burning gaze. Without looking up, the Kirin lurched to her hooves and brushed past Princess Celestia without so much as glance in her direction before staggering wantonly down the hall. Celestia followed sedately at a distance behind her until she reached Yin’s room to find Hazuki sobbing quietly, her face buried in Yin’s mane. Celestia felt a jealous prickle in her heart, but ignored it in favor of sitting on the opposite side of Yin’s bed. Her friend lay prone on her side, with an IV taped to the inside of her foreleg and an oxygen mask obscuring her muzzle. Nuzzling the chimera gently, the two stayed like that for several minutes before they began to feel their friend rousing.

“Tia?” Came a weakly hoarse whisper. “Hazu-chan? Where am I?” She asked, glancing around as a nurse suddenly entered to room to check her status and adjust her IV before bowing politely and exiting again.

“You’re in the castle’s medical wing,” Celestia replied, smiling warmly at her love. “You collapsed…I was so worried,” Celestia murmured, unshed tears gleaming in her eyes as Hazuki raised her head to pin her sickly friend with a look that spoke volumes.

“She knows?” Yin sighed roughly, wrestling the mask off her face as Hazuki nodded tearfully. ‘Everything?’ she mouthed silently, to which Celestia did not notice the subtle shake.

“Yes, I know about the drug you’ve been smoking,” Celestia reproached, “and I’ve destroyed it. Why were you taking it, Yin? Was it the Empress?” Celestia questioned, noting with trepidation the way her friend visibly stiffened at the mentioning of her former employer. “It was, wasn’t it? Why did she make you take it?” Noting the look Yin gave her, Hazuki excused herself quietly. This would be hard enough for Yin to explain without her there. Once the door latched behind them, Celestia looked at the former leopard expectantly.

“What do you know about the drug Koibito no Yoru?” Yin asked tiredly, avoiding Celestia’s probing stare.

“Hazuki said it was an opiate, and highly addictive to Lóngrén,” Celestia stated, eyeing Yin’s reaction.

“That’s all? Nothing else?” When Celestia shook her head negative, Yin gave a deep sigh laden with resignation. “It is an opiate for Lóngrén yes. But…it is also used as an aphrodisiac by the kirin. Fresh stamens are especially potent. The flowers only bloom at night, which is why they are called Tsukihana no Koi.” Yin explained jadedly as Celestia’s eyes began to widen in awful comprehension. “Slave collars can make a body do things, but not even they can make a body feel things,” she whispered as she closed her eyes wearily.

A sense of vertigo sucker-punched the princess, her mind reeling with shock.

"So, she..." Celestia gagged, "She used them to...Oh Faust, I-I need some air..." Celestia choked as she reeled over to a window, throwing it open to gasp in the cool night air, trying to swallow the urge to dry-heave. She was glad she hadn’t had anything to eat in quite some time, that might not have ended well. Once she got control over her reactions, she went to sit by Yin once more but stopped partway at Yin’s flinch.

“It is a stimulant to kirin, dangerously addictive to Lóngrén,” she chuckled humorlessly, “and lethal to leopards. If I continue, the poison will finally overwhelm my immune system within the year. If I stop taking it, the withdrawal will probably kill me within the month.” Celestia felt her heart drop like a lump of iron. In the hallway... She had destroyed the last of it. Her breath grew short.Gone-- it was all gone, she had effectively killed her--

“Now, don’t look like that,” Yin admonished weakly. “I know what you’re thinking, so don’t pin my inevitable death on yourself. Honestly, I had been considering doing the same, and now you’ve saved me the trouble of agonizing over it.” Yin admitted mildly as Celestia’s head shot toward her with an accusatory glare, sharpened by the glint of unshed tears.

"You were just going to let yourself die faster?" She squawked, incredulous. "What about Hazuki? What about me? Were-were you even going to tell anypony, or just abandon us?" At Yin's hurt expression, she winced inwardly and deflated.

“I’m sorry,” Yin whispered in a miserable voice. “I just thought to spare everyone the trouble of worrying about it. Just, have Hazuki tell you and the others I had to leave...then never return. I didn’t think…I guess I just never believed you could still care for me the way you did then. I’ve changed so much…I’m so broken inside Tia,” she whispered hoarsely, the pain in her voice ripping at Celestia’s heart.

“She spat on my morals, twisted my loyalties, and abused my skills to achieve her own goals. She raped me every night Tia, for seventy-eight years to sate her warped lust. I’m just damaged goods with an expiration date. Who would want me?” She muttered morosely, tears trailing down her fur. Celestia shook her head, trying to vocalize her disagreement, but couldn’t force the words past the tears choking her silent. “I tried to end it once, you know. My honor as a warrior and dignity as a living being demanded it, but she stopped me just as I’d plunged the blade into my belly." Celestia felt the blood drain from her face.
A dry chuckle tumbled past her lips. "My skin was a lot tougher than I expected and it was too shallow to do any real damage,” she reassured the Sun Princess at her dismayed sob. “She gave a standing order to never intentionally harm myself again after. Her fear, amplified by the collar, imprinted it so deeply I still can’t do more than nick myself, otherwise I might have tried again.” She murmured in disappointment. “Can you really say you still love me the way you did?” she asked as she glanced up, only to find Celestia had vanished. “That’s what I thought,” she whispered to herself as she quietly cried herself into a fitful doze.

Author's Note

(Edit: How did I not notice a whole effing chunk of text missing from this?! No wonder I got the downvotes, poor people were probably confused as fuck. Well hopefully this cleared up some confusion. God dammit. )
Hey guys. To celebrate ten views and more likes than dislikes, I decided to post another chapter. It's way shorter than my other two, but hey, better something than nothing, right?

(Disclaimer: I in no way condone rape, drug abuse or suicide, which are all very real and serious concerns.)