Nona - Is It True What They Say About Humans?

‘Dearest Nona...’ I started to write, paused. Did it sound too cornball to start a letter with ‘dearest’? I shrugged, realized the opening didn’t really matter, what I had to put on paper and say to her, did.

You were right to leave me. Yeah, you read right. You were right. What amazes me is that you didn’t leave me a lot sooner than you did.

I don’t like that you’re gone but I’m thinking now that it may have been the wisest thing you’ve done. For both of us.

What I’m about to write isn’t easy for me to put on paper but I have to tell you.

Since you’ve been gone I’ve had some experiences. Some were good, most weren’t, but I’ve had time to learn from them.

What’s become clear to me is that I’m an arrogant, self-conscious, insecure, selfish, self centered, thoughtless prick.

All you ever did was love me and put up with me and all I did was to expect more from you than you could give, constantly making demands on you that you tried your best to fulfill. All you wanted to do was your best to make me happy and all I did was take advantage of you and fuck it up.

I’ve also had time to think about another thing; the thing we based our relationship on.

This also isn’t easy for me to say because it’s so true and it shows how stupid I’ve been that it’s probably the hardest thing for me to admit.

You’d think I would have learned after being Twilight Sparkle’s lover for three years that I’d have figured out that good sex isn’t something that two people can build a lasting relationship on but it’s true, it’s not.

Now, don’t get me wrong; I love Twilight. She’s one of my best friends. It’s just that what I’d hoped for never happened. We never fell in love with each other and without that there’s really not much to go forward on.

Sure, it’s great at first. It always is. But, when the lust fades and the sex starts getting a bit routine that’s when it all begins to fall apart. After all, if the love isn’t there then what’s left?

Just so you’ll know I do love you and please forgive me for saying this but I’m not in love with you. I’m sure it’s hard to read this but if it’s any consolation I don’t think I’ve ever been in love with anyone. I don’t think I'm capable of that. After all I’d have to truly love myself in order to truly love anypony else and I’m just not sure that I do.

Now confession time; sure, I assumed you gave your consent and your blessing when you put that ad in the newsparchments but I’m beginning to think you had more than the obvious motives for doing that.

You gave me your heart. You entrusted me with it. I suspect you’d hoped that I would have laughed, ignored the ad and stayed faithful to you. I realize now that would have been the best thing for me to do, to honor your love that way but, like I said, I’m a fuck-up.

I wish I could tell you that I didn’t do anything more after you left but that would be a lie and I won’t compound my mistakes further by lying to you. I guess I’ll just have to face the music, no matter how you choose to respond to what I told you. If it’s any consolation, the other things I’ve done didn’t turn out much better than with Rarity - Except for Rainbow Dash - But that’s another story.

I don’t know what else to say other than I’m truly sorry for all the shit I’ve put you through. Hurting you is the biggest regret that I will with me to my grave.

I know this may not seem like much but I do love you.

– Generic.

I took the parchment I’d written on, folded it carefully, put it just as carefully into an envelope, sealed it, addressed it to my mother’s house, put a stamp on it and headed out the door not to the post office but to the Ponyville Transport center so I could send it off trans-dimensional express mail.

I didn’t know if she’d write me back, would want to write me back but, just in case she did, I tried to steel myself for anything she might say to me in a return letter.