Discord's Lamp Repository

A large crash sounded as the lamp fell to the floor and shattered into a million tiny pieces.

"Oops," Discord said, a frown on his face. He snapped his fingers and a lamp modeled after himself stood on the end table; the broken one on the floor was nowhere to be found. "There, all better!"

"Oh my goodness, Discord," whispered Fluttershy. Her eyes were wide and her mouth agape. "Discord, that is such an amazing lamp!" she squealed. "It is so much better than what I had. That was very generous of you. I can tell we are just going to be the best of friends!"

Discord looked a little uncomfortable. "Yes, very good friends indeed," he said, unconvinced.

One reform sequence later...

"And then she told me how much she liked the lamp," Discord said to Princess Celestia. "So I was thinking, now that I am reformed, perhaps I should make myself useful here in Canterlot and set up shop somewhere."

Celestia nodded. "I think that would be wonderful, Discord. That way you can be close and we can get to know each other a little better. And it would show ponies that you are a friendly fellow who does not need to be feared." She smiled warmly at him. "I know of a little shop that recently closed that I am sure would be perfect for you. I'll have a guard take you there. Once you get things rolling, I'll pop down. I am sure it would help you drum up some business for ponies to see me there."

Discord did a few flips in the air as he considered. "Yes, that should work."

Celestia motioned to one of the nearby guards and gave him instructions to accompany Discord.

"Have fun, Discord. See you soon." She waved him goodbye.

Only a few hours later...

"You work fast..." Celestia said, a little surprised.

"Being the Lord of Chaos does have its advantages," Discord replied nonchalantly. The pair stood in front of the newly redecorated shop. It was modeled after Discord's head, the door being where his mouth would be, the two upper windows done in stain glass to match his eyes, and the two lower windows covered in writing to mimic speech bubbles.

Celestia made her way to the right window and read out loud, "Pancakes and waffles, buy one get one free.*" Celestia looked at Discord, who was lazily floating in the air playing a ring toss game with himself. She raised an eyebrow, turned back to the window, and took note of some small writing at the bottom. "*Not here, duh. This is a lamp store."

Celestia stifled a laugh and covered her mouth with her hoof to hide her smile. "Well, the outside looks great Discord," she said.

Discord appeared next to her. "Just wait until you see the inside," he said with a grin. The door swung open with a snap of his claws and they made their way inside. The smell of peppermint assaulted her nose, quickly followed by the smell of old socks, to then be replaced by the smell of parchment. Leave it to Discord to have a Super Simple Smell Spell (say that five times fast) in effect. The lights were changing colors in no particular pattern or rhythm. The shelves were packed with lamps of Discord; Discord fishing with a light bulb, Discord standing on his head with a light bulb held in his feet, Discord in a sultry looking bikini striking a pose with a light bulb in his mouth. If you could imagine it, it was there.

“Please, take a look around and let me know which lamp of me you would like! I know there will be one you just have to have. I guarantee it,” Discord grinned as he weaved through the chandeliers, all modeled after himself, of course, and made his way to the counter off to the left.

Shutting her slightly open mouth with a snap, Celestia composed herself. “Oh yes, of course,” she stammered and realized that she had just committed herself to a purchase. Discord watched her with interest as she moved along the shelves. She didn’t want to disappoint her new friend, but she wasn’t entirely sure she really wanted a lamp of him.

Eventually, she came upon a shelf labeled, “ME! and princesses…”

There in the middle was her, the Sun Princess, being ridden by Discord! He was wearing a cowboy hat, chaps, and stirrups. His face had a look of determination on it and his paw reached for the sky. Lamp Celestia was rearing back, her wings spread wide, ears pinned to her head, a bridle and reins adorning her face, and a scowl on her muzzle. Her crown lay crushed beneath her hooves. It looked almost as if Discord was trying to break a wild stallion.

Real pony Celestia gasped. Only one thing crossed her mind; she HAD to have that lamp. She couldn’t identify if it was because she didn’t want her little ponies to see her like that, or if it was because she found it a little funny. Or maybe, just a small part of her wished somepony would ride on her like that. No, that would be improper…

With a golden flash the lamp appeared on the counter in front of Discord. Celestia materialized a moment later. Discord looked at the lamp, a mischievous grin on his face.

“Ah yes, I am particularly fond of this one,” he said.

“Yes, it is very nice,” Celestia retorted. A small, somewhat forced smile graced her lips as she tried to look happy. “How much do I owe you?” A large bag of bits appeared on the counter and the golden aura of her magic pulled the drawstring open.

Discord started to laugh hysterically. Celestia shot him a confused look. After a few moments, Discord composed himself, mostly. “Oh Celly, what do I need bits for? No, I’m much more interested in something else,” he laughed.

Thoughts flashed through Celestia’s mind, ranging from plausible to just impossible. With hesitation, she cleared her throat. “What, uh, exactly do you have in mind?” she asked with a light blush.

Discord’s smile grew so large it popped off of his face! He quickly picked it up and slapped it back on. “Oh, I think a little chaos will do just fine…”