Schrodinger hummed merrily as he worked around Pinkie, the both of them cooking up a storm in Sugarcube Corner’s bakery. While Pinkie created all manner of delicious pastries, Schrodinger instead worked on main courses. The savory aroma of cooking food mingled with the sweet scent of fresh baked pastries to produce a mouthwatering explosion of pure culinary delight.

Smirking to herself as she bustled around the kitchen, Pinkie Pie began swaying her hips while she worked, bobbing to an unheard beat as she baked and brushing ever so gently against Schrodinger whenever they crossed paths.

Only by virtue of being everywhere and nowhere could Schrodinger cook and still have the spare attention to ogle his wife’s perfect Ass. He glanced at the camera and smirked. “Ja. Zhat Ass is so perfect it deserves no less zhan a capital A.” He looked back at Pinkie’s rear and took a moment to appear behind her, giving her a loving smack on the Ass before appearing back before his current culinary project.

“Ooh!” Pinkie squealed, her smirk turning from mischievous to flirty. Eyes half-lidded and hips swaying even wider now, she sashayed behind Schrodinger on her way to a row of ovens and sneaked her hand out for a quick fondle, squeezing his crotch ever so quickly and then gently hip-checking Schrodinger’s rear.

Schrodinger’s grin became just as mischievous as he looked at a measuring cup with water in it, waiting until Pinkie turned with free arms before “accidentally” spilling that water on her shirt, the cold water making her nipples harden and press out against her shirt. “Oop! Mein bad, meine liebe,” he said with a cheeky grin.

“Eep!” Pinkie cried, mock glaring at Schrodinger. “You cheeky little-!” With a growl and a cute pout, Pinkie reached up and jammed Schrodinger’s face into her cleavage then twisted back and forth vigorously, effectively slapping him upside the head with her tits.

Schrodinger let the “punishment” go on for a few seconds before appearing behind Pinkie and pulling her against his chest. “Meine liebe, so kinky…” he purred while giving her wet mounds a squeeze.

“Only for you, Schrody~” Pinkie giggled, pressing her breasts further into Schrodinger’s hands. “Mmm, but bedtime will have to wait, silly billy, we still need to finish everything for the party later!”

Schrodinger laughed as he released Pinkie and kissed her. “You started it, liebe,” he pointed out with twitching ears. “So… Vhich of us is going to check on zhe girls?”

“Hmm,” Pinkie tapped her chin, accidentally smearing a bit of frosting on her lip, and shrugged, “Well, I guess I’ll do it. There’s not much more baking to be done, really.” With that she turned to skip away, cheerfully humming a quiet tune.

Schrodinger appeared in front of her and kissed her, only pulling away once he licked away the frosting. “You had some frosting on your lips, liebe.” He vanished back to what he had been cooking with a smile.

“Oh that charmer…” Pinkie sighed, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear and continuing on to the playpen where her daughters were crawling around. “Lebbie! Spritzie! How are my little darlings doing?” She smiled down at both gurgling babies, both Lebkuchen and Spritzkuchen looking back and waving their arms.

“Mama!” Lebkuchen cried, slowly standing up with the aid of the playpen bars. Spritzkuchen followed her sister soon after, her favorite teddy bear clutched in her hand.

Trixie sighed, staring listlessly up at the ceiling as she lay in bed, contemplating recent events. Even though she had been recovering from Sombra’s attack, the sheer terror of what Discord did to her before his “reformation” set her back even further. She still bore the scabs of the few times she had nearly slit her own wrists out of sheer panic.

Applejack knocked on the door. “Trixie? You feeling okay, sugarcube?” Her voice was full of concern. “Can Ah come in, sis?”

Trixie didn’t respond, instead choosing to move her hand and let it flop onto her belly, a quiet shudder running through her as a flash of memory from when Sombra defiled her jetted through her mind.

“Trixie?” Applejack called in worry. “Ah’m comin’ in.” She quietly opened the door and stepped into the room, shutting the door behind her and sitting on Trixie and Big Mac’s bed. “How ya feelin’ sis?”

“.....” came Trixie’s non-answer, her verbal ellipsis filling the air in a manner most telling. A grumble escaped her throat, along a quiet sigh. “.... Just…. tired…” she muttered, barely even mustering the energy to turn away from the door and draw the covers up to her chin.

Applejack pulled the covers back and pulled her sister-in-law into a warm hug. “It’ll be okay, sugarcube. You’ll get through this.” She noticed Trixie was still opting for conservative pajamas rather than what she knew Trixie would favor in her right mind.

“How could I….?” Trixie whispered, the weight of her depression settling in once more and drowning her in an ocean of helpless despair. She took a shuddering breath, squeezing her eyes shut and curling into a ball. “I couldn’t save my child….” she hiccuped, tears flowing freely and frame shaking with each sob. “I couldn’t save my child, I couldn’t save myself, and I can’t have another child…” Trixie began sobbing in earnest, quiet cries of sheer sorrow echoing through the room.

Applejack just held Trixie and rubbed comforting circles on her back. “None of us knew what that monster could do, sis. Don’t think any of us could have done better if we were where ya were. And you don’t know that ya can’t have another one.” She pulled back enough to take her shadowy right hand in hers. “Sombra’s gone. He’ll never hurt anyone ever again. You stopped him. Not Twilight, not Alucard. You.”

Trixie went quiet, trapped in a cycle of circular logic that led her to completely ignore Applejack. “I may have stopped him… but I still couldn’t save my own child…. I wasn’t even smart enough to just run…” she shut her eyes again and squeezed her own shoulders, feeling the restrained strength of her new right arm as well as all the memories that the arm itself brought back.

“You couldn’t save it, but ya sure as Tartarus avenged it, sis,” Applejack pointed out.

Trixie shook her head slowly, wishing that Applejack would leave her to stew in her own mind, “What good is avenging something that’s gone…? It only makes you feel empty in the end… all you do is realize what you’ve lost….”

“But you’ve still got yer family,” Applejack asserted. “You’ve got me, and Big Mac, Apple Bloom, Granny Smith, Flim and Flam, your nephews. Yer not alone anymore, sis. You’ve got a family that loves you. And we’re worried about you.”

Trixie’s tears began falling again as she managed to turn a despair filled glare at Applejack, “Why…? Why are you so worried…? I’m not worth it… just go on and live your lives…. there’s better things you can do than worry about a barren idiot who got her own child killed because of her own stupidity…”

“We’re worried because we love you, Trixie!” Applejack answered, tears stinging her eyes. “It hurts us to see you so depressed.” She wiped Trixie’s tears away. “When’s the last time you left the house, sis? Come with us to Spike and Selten’s party. Get some fresh air, some sun. It always helped me when I was depressed after Ma and Pa died.”

“....” Trixie sniffled, but nodded, sitting up slowly and brushing a few strand of hair from her face. “.... If you think it will help….” She looked down at herself and sighed, “.... I’m a mess….”

Applejack took her hand and helped her out of bed and into her slippers. “One step at a time, sis. One step at a time.”

“Are you sure you’ll be alright, dear?” Anderson asked, fussing over Seras and making sure that she was comfortable in every way he could make her. “I don’t want you to overstress yourself, especially for a party.”

Seras sighed in irritation. “I’m fine, honey. All this fussing is for human women. I’m a bloody vampire, we’re made of tougher stuff. Besides, this is my second pregnancy. I know my limits, lofty as they are.” She lovingly rubbed the swell in her belly, cooing at her coming second born.

Anderson chuckled in embarrassment, “Y-yeah, but still… I worry about you. I don’t want you or our child getting hurt, and, well…” He trailed off and shook his head, sighing and picking up their firstborn son, Daniel, who cooed and giggled delightedly. “Up we go, Daniel! That’s a good boy!”

Seras giggled and lightly smacked her husband on the back of his head. “How is it that you can be the super Paladin one minute and yet be reduced to a stuttering mess when your wife heckles you for mother henning?”

“Ack!” Anderson feigned injury, laughing the whole time even as he set Daniel into the baby carrier across his chest. “Ha ha, it’s just one of those odd things, I suppose, isn’t it? Are you sure you’re alright to travel, though? We are going up a mountain. A small one, granted, but a mountain nonetheless.”

“Again, you’re talking to a vampire,” Seras reminded him for the umpteenth time before cooing over Daniel. “Isn’t daddy such a scatterbrain, sweetie?” she asked while nuzzling his cheek.

Daniel gurgled happily, not really understanding what was going on due to his age, but enjoying his mother’s attention. Anderson rolled his eyes good naturedly and poked Seras’ cheek. “If we don’t leave now, we might be late to the party, you know.”

“Keep up then, slowpoke,” Seras taunted as she walked out the door at her normal, non-pregnant stride despite her passenger.

“C’moooooonnnnnn!” Rainbow groaned, already at the door with both her children gathered in her arms. Roman Candle and Flare Blitz whined in agreement, both children already showing the signs of being speedsters and adrenaline junkies just like their parents.

Gilda rolled her eyes and awkwardly flapped over to the door, rubbing her back with one hand and supporting her belly with the other. “You try getting any decent speed with a bowling ball stuck in your gut…” she grumbled, “Even a power flier like me has trouble with pregnancy, you know?”

Rainbow deadpanned at Gilda, then held up both Roman Candle and Flare Blitz for emphasis.

“.... Oh. Right,” Gilda shook her head and sighed, “Now where the hell is Soarin?”

“Old habits die hard, G,” Rainbow said. “The man was a Wonderbolt for years, and had to look good for any cameras.” She looked at Gilda’s belly. “So… Hoping for a boy or a girl?”

Gilda shrugged, “I dunno, RD. Never really put a whole lot of thought into it, really. I guess I’m fine with anything at this point.” She tapped her foot and checked her scroll, “Gods above, is he posing for a photoshoot or something? The last time I saw a guy take this long to get ready, it was some ponce-y jerkwad down in Manehattan three years ago!”

Rainbow sighed and walked over to the stairs. “Soarin you have exactly thirty seconds before I come up there and sic the boys on you until you get to the front door!”

A muffled yelp and a crash rang down from upstairs, just as the impeccably dressed and perfectly groomed form of Soarin appeared by the front door in a trail of quickly dispersing storm clouds. “Okay, okay, I’m here!” he panted, idly rubbing his shin where he had accidentally slammed it into the door frame while sprinting down the stairs.

Rainbow and Gilda shared a small laugh at his expense. “Let’s go, Soarin. We got a party to get to.” Rainbow looked him over. “Selten might mistake you for a snack, sharp dressed as you are.”

“Oh ha ha, very funny, Dash,” Soarin snarked, gently patting Gilda’s belly and tickling both Flare Blitz’s and Roman Candle’s chins on his way out the door.

Vinyl paced nervously around the living room, which was very much out of character for her. “Why am I so fucking nervous?!” she demanded as she rested a hand on her belly, seeking comfort in the child she carried.

Octavia sighed and patted Vinyl on the shoulder, “Come now, love, it’s only natural to be worried about your first child. Just relax, Vinyl, everything will be fine. Besides… the two of us are still naked and the party is in less than half an hour.” She indicated both of their bodies, then the wall clock, raising an eyebrow to make a point.

Vinyl took deep breaths to calm herself. “Okay. I’m calm. Why can’t I dress like I normally do? Godsdamn maternity clothes!” A stray vibration put a crack in one of their windows.

“Considering that your normal clothing consists mostly of skin tight jeans and/or short shorts combined with almost criminally undersized tank tops?” Octavia snarked, patting Vinyl’s bum and nudging her towards her wardrobe, “Can’t imagine why you can’t dress normally at all, really.”

“So what? Just go to the party naked?” Vinyl asked in a huff as she looked at her belly. “Why couldn’t you be the one popping the kid out, Tavi?”

“Because you lack male genitalia, Vinyl,” DeadMau5 pointed out as he rubbed against his master comfortingly.

Octavia nodded, “Well, at least we’ll be able to leave a lasting legacy that isn’t copious amounts of murdered warlords and the like. And plus, I think you look even more beautiful in your maternity wear so please hurry up and get dressed before we miss the party.”

“Alright alright,” Vinyl said with a resigned pout as she telekinetically got dressed. “Still think I look stupid in this stuff.” She took a moment to mess with her breasts. “If one good thing is coming from all this besides the kid, it’s that my breasts are bigger.”

“Mmm, always a plus,” Octavia smirked, flicking one of Vinyl’s nipples through her shirt. “So much more to hold and love now.”

Vinyl lightly gasped from the increased sensitivity of her nipples. “Hey! I’m not used to the extra sensitivity yet, Tavi.”

Octavia shrugged, “Then you might as well get used to it, love. I’m not going to stop loving you just because we have a baby on the way, after all.” She quickly pulled on her own outfit, primping and preening until her hair and makeup was absolutely perfect.

“And you look so fucking gorgeous right now, Tavi,” Vinyl said, planting a kiss on Octavia’s lips and flicking her nipple in return. “Let’s get up to that party, huh?”

“Of course, dear,” Octavia smiled.

Twilight bustled around the library, flipping through books while getting dressed and overall providing a starkly humorous sight as she stumbled over the piles of books she had yet to completely finish organizing.

Integra giggled at the sight of her mother landing in a pile of books near her, several stacks serving as a sort of book fort around the young girl. Clearly she had her mother’s love of books even if she couldn’t read yet.

“Perhaps you should do one thing at a time, Twilight…?” Fluttershy suggested, hiding a giggle behind her hand. “You’d trip over fewer things that way, I imagine.” Fluttershy was already dressed and waiting by the door.

Integra laughed as Alucard picked her up, happily hugging her father as his other arm scooped up Angelus, the half siblings staring each other down in silence.

“What are you so fervently researching Twilight?” Alucard asked as he stood beside Fluttershy and wordlessly kept his kids getting along.

Twilight shook her head and put her book down, hiding a radiant blush behind another book’s pages, “Oh, nothing, nothing… just… well… child care. I want to be prepared for everything, you know?”

“Twilight.” Alucard spoke her name in that tone that said, ‘I’ve known you far too long for that bluff to work.’ “Is there something on your mind, my countess?”

Twilight shook her head and silently thanked the fact that all the books she had read through so far had blank covers. “N-not at all! Anyway, the party is starting soon, so we should head out, right?”

Alucard handed the children to Fluttershy and phased behind Twilight, looking over her shoulder at the book she had been reading. “Oh? What’s this?”

Twilight hurriedly slammed the book closed, her blush going from radiant to positively nuclear. “N-nothing at all! L-let’s just go!” She tossed the book away, and sprinted up the stairs, slamming the bathroom door closed behind her.

Alucard followed her and hugged her against him with a grin. “Self bondage, Twilight? Whenever did you develop a kink like that, my countess?” He dragged his tongue along her neck and nibbled her earlobe. “I’m very curious now.”

“S-shut up!” Twilight squeaked, almost smearing her makeup as she whirled around and pushed Alucard out of the bathroom. “It’s none of your business, Alucard!”

“You know I’ll find out one way or another, my countess,” Alucard pointed out in a teasing tone before going downstairs to wait for her.

Twilight growled and resumed applying her makeup, blushing once again as she thought of just what she was planning to do for the next Hearts and Harmony Day.

Maud tapped her foot while she waited for Facet to finish getting dressed, her child, Terracotta, held gently in her arms. Terracotta silently observed the world around him, taking in details that most children twice his age would have missed. “Facet? Are you ready yet?” she asked, raising an eyebrow slowly and levelling a cool stare at her and Facet’s bedroom.

“Almost,” Facet answered, looking over his outfit with a fine toothed comb for flaws. “But you can’t… rush… art, honey.” He finally decided that his suit and coat were free of flaws and stepped out of the bedroom. “We ready to go?”

“Terracotta and I were ready to leave half an hour ago, dear,” Maud deadpanned, her expression falling flat again. “Nevertheless, we should get going. We’ll be late if you take any longer to primp and preen.”

Facet winced at the jab. “You knew about my preening when you married me, Maud.” He felt a stare from Terracotta and looked down at his son. “Don’t you start too.”

Terracotta simply burbled silently and went back to observing the world around him. Maud snorted quietly, “It appears that you’ve already taught your son about your bad habit. Now, shall we go, or are you going to spend another three hours in front of the mirror?”

“Alright, alright. We’ll go,” Facet relented, leaning over and pecking Maud on the lips.

“Selten, are you sure you don’t want to have the party in the den?” Spike asked. “Or at least come outside and socialize with our friends and family?” He had underestimated the level of stubbornness Selten would demonstrate on leaving the eggs where their loved ones could see and/or interact with them.

Selten snorted and shook her head, “I may have laid the eggs, but they are not my family. They are your family. I just happen to be loosely connected to them by way of you. I have not met them, thus I have no trust in them. I am not letting them into the den. And I am not leaving my eggs unguarded.”

“Well you could stick your head out of the den,” Spike suggested. “That way you can stay near the eggs, and socialize with the family, work on building trust.” He nuzzled Selten and leaned his head down to breathe some flames on the eggs. “So… Three more months until they hatch.”

“Three long months,” Selten murmured, watching the eggs carefully. “It’s hard to believe that we’re over halfway there…”

“Yeah. Won’t be much longer now,” Spike said as he pushed her onto her back on the hoard while nuzzling her neck and breathing flames on it. “We’re gonna make Ponyville famous,” he murmured before tenderly kissing Selten right on the lips. The difficulty of it for them compared to humans made it all the more special.

“Is it not already famous for various reasons?” Selten snarked, pulling away from the kiss just long enough to comment before she dove eagerly back in. “Though I suppose this will only add fuel to the flames.”

“That it will, honey. That it will,” Spike muttered as he dragged his tail across Selten’s belly, slowly tracing the tip right above her hindlegs. “So… We’ve got a little time before they get here,” he whispered in a husky tone, rolling Selten further onto the hoard and dragging his heated tongue from the base of her neck to her jawline. “And if my nose doesn’t lie, you’re ovulating.”

Selten chuckled lowly, rubbing her body against his in long, sinuous motions, flicking against all of his sensitive spots and eagerly inviting him to do the same to her. “Come now, already so eager to breed me again?”

“What can I say? You’re just so sexy when you’re pregnant,” Spike breathed, his tail rubbing against her nethers as he nipped a sensitive spot behind her ear. “But even if you don’t get pregnant, it feels really good to make love.”

“Indeed it does, Spike. Indeed it does,” Selten crooned and breathed deeply, spreading her legs in a clear invitation for Spike. “Then, take me, my mate!”

Spike dragged his tongue all over Selten’s body, paying particular attention to her sensitive spots as he slowly made his way down between her legs to her nethers. Where most dragons would just plunge in, he had other ideas, and exhaled some heated air onto Selten’s dripping hole before slowly dragging his tongue over the slit.

“S-ah!” Selten cried, throwing her head back in unexpected ecstasy as soon as Spike’s prehensile tongue touched her most sensitive of parts. A veritable flood of sticky fluid gushed from her depths from the single touch of Spike’s tongue, the gentle motion contrasting so much from the normal roughness of dragon mating that it was entirely alien to Selten.

Spike grinned as he drank up his mate’s juices. “This is a little something humans call foreplay, love.” He dove back in, his tongue dexterously assaulting Selten’s core from all angles and sending waves of pleasure up and down her spine. He kept it up even as his shaft twitched in longing and his half dozen testicles churned with seed, ready to pour it into his mate.

Selten moaned and squirmed beneath the movements of Spike’s tongue, her entire body numb with pleasure. “Oh~! Don’t stop!” she panted, bucking her hips forward as she orgasmed explosively, splattering the ground with massive puddles of ejaculate. As she shuddered, she stared sultrily at Spike, shifting slowly down his side and to his still-stiff shaft. “Now…” she purred, wrapping her tail around Spike’s length and stroking it slowly, “I believe I shall return the favor, o’ beloved Spike.”

Spike arched his back and let out a moan of pleasure. “Oh Selten…” He lay his head back against the treasure pile and felt his eyes roll back as he enjoyed the new sensation of her scales on his hypersensitive flesh. “Is this what my tongue felt like on you, love?”

“Oh you have seen nothing yet, my love!” Selten crowed, arching her neck around and using her tongue to the fullest, swirling it around the base of Spike’s cock as her tail flicked and rubbed along the tip and shaft.

Spike moaned louder and limply twitched in his mate’s grasp, his body awash with pleasure as he felt her tongue transition lower and begin playing with his balls. “Selten! Don’t stop, Selten! That feels so fucking good!” Under Selten’s loving care, Spike’s balls contracted and he felt a powerful orgasm rushing at him. “Selten! I’m about to…” He loosed a groan/roar of pleasure as he felt his cock erupt like a volcano, his seed splattering the ground near the entrance to the den.

Twilight twitched irritably, eyebrow and eyelid oscillating at a frankly unhealthy looking pace. White slime dripped off of her frame, staining her clothes and soaking into her body. “......” Twilight cleared the nearly scalding hot semen from her face, took a shallow breath, nearly gagged on the smell, and unleashed a scream of pure, unadulterated rage.

“SPIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIKE!”

Spike’s eyes widened as the sound of his mother’s enraged voice tore through the haze of his orgasm. Looking up, he saw Twilight standing there, drenched in his semen, and looking ready to kill him. “Uh… Sorry, mom,” he muttered as his shaft and balls almost sheepishly retreated back into their sheath, seeking shelter from the coming storm.

“It isn’t enough that I get shot in the face with my brother’s cum, oh no… I just had to get a shower of my own son’s semen too!?” Twilight muttered, slowly advancing upon Spike. “Spike… if I weren’t about to throw up right now, I would spank you so hard that your ass literally flies into next week. Be thankful for small mercies…” With that, she stalked out of the cave, fell to her knees, and vomited profusely.

Spike shared a look with Selten. “Well… That did a fine job of killing the mood.”

“I said I was sorry! What do you want from me?!” Spike asked as he lay outside the den with Twilight, Alucard, Fluttershy, Integra, and Angelus. He stared at the glaring Twilight as he allowed his brother and sister to use him as a living jungle gym.

“Keep being a good big brother and stay still,” Twilight grinned. It was not a pretty grin. It was a grin that spoke of untold revelry in the suffering of others. “Now say cheese~”

Spike sighed and tried to look regal. Or rather, as regal as a dragon could look while a pair of toddlers climbed all over him. “Cheese…”

Twilight snapped a quick photo and held up her Scroll for all to see. “He looks ridiculous!” she chuckled, pointing at Spike’s attempted stern face while Integra and Angelus tugged and twisted at his facial spines.

“You’re enjoying this too much,” Spike muttered before lifting his head further and sniffing the air, his tongue flicking out and tasting it for a moment before he sniffed again. “Rarity and Blueblood are coming.”

“Oh good, maybe I can get them to join in the torment,” Twilight snarked, spritzing herself with a tad more perfume to clear out the last of the smell of Spike’s semen. “And please, try to not ejaculate all over Rarity like you did with me.”

“It’s not my fault you walked in on me and Selten!” Spike protested. “You should have knocked or something!” He carefully stood with his siblings riding him and walked to meet Rarity and Blueblood as they arrived at the cliff by the den entrance. “Hey you two,” he greeted cheerfully before leaning down to nuzzle his godchildren.

“Hello Spike,” Rarity greeted cheerfully, arm looped around Blueblood’s and trailing Elusive and Barb behind her. “How have you been lately, hmm? Are your eggs doing alright? And how is Selten?”

“The eggs are doing great, and Selten is still not a people dragoness,” Spike said with a chuckle. “Most you’ll see of her today is her sticking her head out of the den. She won’t let anyone near the eggs.” He leaned closer to Rarity and started sniffing her, flicking his tongue out to taste the air near her body.

Rarity looked at Spike quizzically, “Spike, dear, what are you doing?” She let go of Elusive’s hand, allowing him and his sister to go join Angelus and Integra on Spike’s back.

Spike finished sniffing her and pulled his head back with a grin. “You smell pregnant, Rarity. Already got number three on the way?”

Rarity blinked, “... Come again? I swear I just heard you say I was pregnant for a third time.” Behind her, Blueblood gulped and quietly wrote a note to buy condoms and birth control for next time.

“Yup!” Spike answered cheerfully. “What is it with you two? Blueblood can you really not keep it in your pants?”

“.... I’ll be completely honest, it’s usually me that drags him to the bedroom,” Rarity murmured, covering up her embarrassed blush with a tiny cough. “Mmm, the things he does with his tongue… and his hands…. and his di-”

Spike’s claw covered Rarity’s mouth before she could say more. “There are little kids on my back, Rarity. Two of them are yours, remember?” Though he found himself wondering if she was exaggerating or not for some reason.

Rarity smirked behind Spike’s claw and winked, quickly extricating herself and looping her arm back around Blueblood’s. “I knew you would stop me,” she teased, “So there wasn’t any harm in starting my own little story.”

Spike chuckled and grinned at her. “I’m starting to wonder if you’re getting addicted to being with him while you’re pregnant, Rarity. I’ve actually got similar thoughts about Selten.”

“Well, there’s just something that makes him simply irresistible, you know,” Rarity hummed, taking Blueblood’s arm and drawing idle circles upon his bicep.

Blueblood huffed good naturedly, “I hope you both realize that I can speak too. And that I’m right here.” He smirked and poked Rarity’s side, prompting her to giggle.

“Just make sure you keep treating her right, Blueblood,” Spike jokingly warned while flashing his teeth and exhaling some warm air onto Blueblood’s face.

“Always,” Blueblood rolled his eyes and pushed Spike’s face away, “Anyway, I heard there was a party going on. It’d be a shame if we missed it by standing here until it’s over.” With that, he led Rarity over to Twilight, Fluttershy, and Alucard, idly offering a quick wave to Selten, who simply huffed back and went to check her eggs.

“... I see what you mean by her not being much of a people dragon,” Rarity murmured.

Twilight hugged Rarity with a smile, an as of yet unlit cigar between her teeth. “So glad you could make it!” She leaned to whisper to Rarity. “Sorry about any strange odor. Spike came all over me when I walked in on him and Selten.”

Rarity pulled a face, “Darling, I could have gone my entire life without ever hearing that phrase and been completely fine. Why did you need to tell me?” She shook her head, backing away slightly from Twilight. “That being said, where is everyone else?” A sudden thought struck her, “.... How did we get here before Pinkie and Schrodinger?”

“Because ve vere taking zhe scenic route!” Schrodinger called from behind her as he and Pinkie came toward them. “Hello!”

“Hey, Schro, Pinkie!” Twilight greeted before looking at Blueblood with a gleam in her eyes.

Blueblood began backing away from Twilight, “.... Why do I not like that gleam in your eye? Please don’t do anything rash, Twilight…. I don’t think I could handle it…”

As Blueblood backed away, Twilight followed and cornered him against the wall by the entrance to the den. “Light me.”

“.... Oh,” Blueblood muttered, snapping his fingers and allowing Twilight to light her cigar with the flame on his thumb. “For a moment, I was worried you were about to humiliate and/or injure me.” Blueblood shuddered, “Not a very fun line of thought, that.”

“Aw don’t be stupid, dumbass. I’d never do that to you,” Twilight said before her friendly grin turned dark. “Not in front of the kids anyway.”

Blueblood gulped, “R-right… S-so, Pinkie, I notice that… wow that is a lot of food. How did you even make that much so fast?” He stared at the fully set up buffet table in front of the den, goggling at the sheer amount of dishes present.

“Zhat is our little secret,” Schrodinger said with a grin and twitching ears.

Spike laughed and went into the den after depositing the kids on the ground. “Selten. How about you go out and socialize? I’ll watch the eggs.”

Selten huffed, “I’d rather not, Spike. I do trust you, with my life even, but I shall not leave my eggs under the watch of anyone but my own.” She turned from the mouth of the cave, taking the opportunity to bathe her eggs in flame once more.

“Selten, I won’t let anything happen to them,” Spike promised. “I know you’re used to being solitary with just you and our brood. But humans are big on family and friendship, and I was raised by them. Just a few minutes? If you don’t like it, come back and I’ll go out again. Try it? For me?”

“Only for you,” Selten muttered, uncurling and nuzzling Spike on her way out of the cave. As she took in the assembled humans around the mouth of her cave, she studiously ignored Twilight, still slightly embarrassed over what had happened earlier.

“Selten decided to join us!” Schrodinger cheered with Pinkie before appearing before her. “Have ve met yet, Selten?” he asked with twitching ears.

Selten shook her head, staring down at Schrodinger imperiously, “Not that I recall, no.” She held out her claw awkwardly, “Spike tells me that traditional human greetings involve a… handshake...? Is that the correct word?”

“Ja. It is,” Schrodinger said as he shook Selten’s claw in both hands. “Zough many close friends prefer hugs.” He appeared on the back of Selten’s neck hugging her. “Like so.”

Selten flinched back from the sudden contact, turning her head to stare down at Schrodinger once more, “I’d rather you didn’t… contact me…. like that so soon after we just met.” She gently nudged Schrodinger off, rolling her shoulders to get rid of the lingering phantom tingling.

“Have you never been hugged before?” Schrodinger asked from atop Selten’s head, looking into her eye with a wide smile. And she had literally just seen him at her feet. He chuckled as his ears twitched while watching her process it.

Selten shook her head, uncaring that Schrodinger had been knocked off with the motion, “No. I have not. Not by humans. Dragons tend to be more… physical.” She snorted down at Schrodinger once again, “So please, refrain from touching me like that.”

Schrodinger laughed from where he sat on her shoulder. “Loosen up, Selten. Ve are all friends here!” He vanished and reappeared before her with his daughters. “Zhese are mein children. Say hi, sveeties!”

“....” Selten stared at Lebkuchen and Spritzkuchen, then turned to Schrodinger, “.... How exactly are you… doing that?”

Schrodinger laughed. “It’s quite simple. I am everyvere and novere.” His ears twitched as he grinned. “I sink, zherefore I am.”

“.... That makes no sense whatsoever,” Selten muttered, lowering herself to the ground and basking in the bright sun. “So… are there any others that shall arrive, or am I to believe that what we have here is the sum total of this gathering?”

“We’re finally here!” Rainbow called as she, Soarin, and Gilda arrived and landed. She looked at the grinning Roman Candle and Flare Blitz. “These two were looking forward to meeting a dragon.” She scowled at Soarin. “Of course their dad had to spend so much time preening.”

Soarin harrumphed and crossed his arms, an expression of mock arrogance making its way to his face, “Hmph! I’ll have you know that appearance is everything, especially when meeting new people.”

“Didn’t Spike mention dragons introduce themselves by brawling?” Rainbow pointed out before flying over to Selten and hovering in front of her. “Out and about, are ya?”

Selten nodded, half heartedly glaring at the cave opening, “Unfortunately, my mate is far too persuasive for his own good.” She shook her head and held out her claw again, a little less awkward this time.

Rainbow laughed and shook the offered claw with her feet since her hands were holding her sons. “These are my kids. Roman Candle and Flare Blitz. You won’t believe what a relief it was to finally pop them out. Hated being grounded.”

Selten nodded, “I understand entirely. I did not enjoy the sensation of being too heavy to fly either. Still, it was worth the wait.”

“No arguments there,” Rainbow said, pecking each of her sons on the forehead. “Wouldn’t trade ‘em for the world. So… How fast are you, Selten?”

Selten quirked an eyebrow, “Fast enough, I suppose. Are you challenging me to a race?”

Rainbow grinned wide. “You game, slowpoke?” she asked before passing her kids off to Soarin. “I can hit mach 10.”

“Hmph, there is no point in racing you,” Selten snorted, tossing her head. “I may be fast, but I am not so prideful as to say that I am that fast.”

“That sounds like you’re scared you’ll lose to the little human,” Rainbow taunted with a grin and crossed arms. “I really can go that fast. Complete with sonic rainboom!”

Selten stared at Rainbow, palpable levels of disinterest filtering into the air, “Again, I am fast, but not that fast. Dragons are prideful, not stupid… unlike some humans that I care not to name, who seem to be both.”

“Oh she burned you, Dash!” Gilda called with a laugh. “You want some ice for that, babe?”

“Shut up,” Rainbow groused, landing softly and patting Selten on the shoulder, “I swear, I’m gonna get a race out of you somehow.”

Selten chuckled, “Perhaps once you stop being more prideful than the Elder Dragons.”

“I see Rainbow has been taken down a peg or two,” Facet said as he and Maud arrived, Terracotta held securely in Maud’s arms. “Nice to see you out and socializing, Selten.”

“I will admit, it is more fun than I had thought it would be,” Selten murmured, idly flicking her tail through the air. “Though I cannot help but feel the urge to retreat back to my eggs.”

“I’ve got the eggs covered, Selten,” Spike assured. “At least meet everyone.”

“Jitters over the first kids probably,” Facet commented as he stepped closer to Selten.

“Most likely,” Selten admitted, looking over Facet curiously, “Still, I do feel that socializing is not quite my niche.”

“I believe Twilight would have once argued the same,” Alucard said. “She used to prefer books over friends.”

Twilight called over, “At times I think I still prefer books over you!” She smirked to herself, quietly giggling since she knew Alucard would realize that it was mere jest.

“My but she is so very direct,” Selten mused, raising her brow and curling her lip in amusement.

“She’s also completely and utterly insane,” Facet said. “Don’t let the mask she wears fool you.”

“Insane?” Selten asked, staring over at Twilight, “She does not appear to be mentally infirm… though perhaps she seems a tad too…. accepting…. of strange circumstances.”

Facet shook his head. “I have seen beneath that mask.” Stepping closer to Selten, he set his hand against her forearm, casting the memory spell that Night Shift agents could use to covertly share orders and information. Only this time, he was showing Selten what he had seen of Twilight in the laboratory in the Crystal Empire.

Selten blinked, “.... My but she does seem to be quite…. odd…” Selten dazedly looked over to Twilight then subtly edged away from her, a healthy respect for Twilight’s madness forming within her subconscious.

Twilight noticed Selten’s movement away from her. “Something on your mind, Selten?” she asked as she took a step toward her daughter-in-law.

Selten shook her head, “Not particularly. I was just informed about some of your more interesting traits by… hrm… I actually never learned your name.” She stared down at Facet curiously, “What is your name, by the way?”

“My name is Facet,” Facet introduced as he gestured to his family. “This is my wife Maud Pie, and my son Terracotta.” He wrapped his arm around Maud’s waist and drew her and Terracotta closer to him.

Selten inclined her head respectfully, “A pleasure to meet all three of you.”

“Likewise,” Maud stated blandly, shifting her grip to allow Terracotta to wave up at Selten.

“.... What interesting traits?” Twilight asked, staring at Facet suspiciously. “.... You didn’t tell her that I’m crazy, did you?”

“No,” Facet answered with a straight face. “I told her you’re insane.”

“.....” Twilight’s stare turned into squinting, as if trying to tell whether or not Facet was lying. After a moment, she shook her head, “I’m crazy, not insane. I’m not seriously mentally ill, Facet, no matter how much people say I am.”

“All that maniacal laughter in the laboratory in the Crystal Palace says otherwise, Twilight,” Facet countered. “You’re a lunatic. Plain and simple.”

Selten watched Twilight and Facet banter, a wash of confusion settling over her features. “.... I cannot tell if the two of you hate each other or are best friends,” Selten rumbled, lowering her head down to examine both Twilight and Facet better.

“Well do my eyes deceive me brother?” Flam’s voice called out suddenly, breaking the awkward silence.

Flim’s voice rang out immediately after, closer than Flam’s, “Well if they do, then my eyes deceive me too!”

“I can’t believe it-”

“-the dragoness,-”

“-Spike’s mate-for-life-”

“-is actually out of her cave!” Flim crowed, finally making his appearance in a flash of blue-green light, Flam coming in next to him and the both of them carrying a basket each of, what else, apples of all kinds.

“You two are such show offs!” Applejack chided as she hugged them from between, her sons held securely in baby carriers on her back and front.. “Nice to see ya, Selten!”

“It is… good to see you as well, I suppose,” Selten greeted, holding her claws out for Applejack to shake. “I see that you have brought your children as well.”

Applejack shook the offered claws. “Yup. Wasn’t gonna leave ‘em at home. Lookin’ forward to bein’ a mom?”

“Naturally,” Selten replied, turning her head just in time to catch Big Mac come up the path with Trixie held close by. “... Hmm… is there something wrong with that woman…? She seems rather… distraught.”

“Post-traumatic stress from her experiences in the Crystal Empire,” Facet muttered to Selten. “She lost her unborn child and was physically and psychologically brutalized.”

“Ah… my condolences,” Selten murmured lowly, unconsciously rumbling a quiet note of sympathy.

Trixie made no effort to greet the others as she and Big Mac came up the path, instead simply letting herself slump down onto the picnic blanket that Pinkie had placed down at some point. She sighed tiredly, leaning her whole weight against Big Mac as he quietly rubbed her back to comfort her.

“Trixie?” Twilight muttered as she tentatively laid her hand on the broken woman’s shoulder. She was wary after what happened the last time she’d tried to touch Trixie without her seeing her coming.

Trixie made no reply, simply sighing and looking up at Twilight with tired, almost dead eyes. Big Mac continued rubbing her back, offering his quiet support.

Twilight sat on Trixie’s other side. “Trixie. This is Selten, my daughter-in-law.” She looked at Selten with a look that asked for a little help.

“Greetings Trixie,” Selten bent her head down and met Trixie’s eyes. Without another word, Selten butted her head forward, knocking Trixie back across Big Mac’s lap as she laid her neck across Trixie’s abdomen, using her neck’s heated surface as a therapeutic water bottle.

Twilight stared at Selten. “Uh… What are you doing, Selten?” She could only imagine that Trixie was about to freak out from having a dragon’s neck pinning her down and prepared for the worst.

Trixie’s eyes immediately snapped open as she scrabbled at Selten’s neck, the panic of confinement causing her to forget her training and simply flail around until Selten huffed and nudged Trixie’s head with her own. “Settle down,” Selten muttered. “Is it not considered therapeutic by humans to simply be near warm objects?”

“Maybe for dragons, but humans have a lot of different things that they consider therapeutic,” Twilight said as she poked Selten’s neck, nudging her to move her head away from Trixie. “Come on. Let her up.”

Selten rolled her eyes and lifted her neck, the sudden temperature difference causing Trixie’s clothes to steam even though they were only pleasantly warm. Unconsciously, Trixie made a quick purring noise from the heat, even as she glared up at Selten.

Twilight arched an eyebrow. “What was that, Trixie?” She couldn’t help grinning a bit. “So you one of those people that likes being near warm stuff?”

“S-shut up!” Trixie yelped, managing to hold onto a fierce blush and pout even as she fixed her clothes and attempted to regather what was left of her dignity.

“Ah, so it is therapeutic,” Selten noted, nodding sagely as if she had realized some solemn truth about the Universe.

“That was dumb luck and you know it, Mrs. high and mighty dragoness,” Rainbow snarked from where she was hovering, arms crossed as she smirked at Selten.

Selten’s face immediately dropped into a flat deadpan, complete with imaginary sweatdrop, “I have no idea of what you speak, rainbow colored one.”

“And we’re here despite my husband’s nonstop mother-henning!” Seras declared with a grin as she strode up to the assembled group. “Selten? Out and about at last are ya?!”

“Indeed I am, miss…?” Selten held out her claw once more, no trace of any potential embarrassment left on her face.

Seras smiled and shook the claw. “Seras Anderson. Maiden name Seras Victoria. So you finally let your mate watch the eggs. How are they doing, anyway?”

“Wonderfully,” Selten smiled to herself, then sent a suspicious glare over to the cave entrance. “At least, they had better be, lest my mate need to seek other lodgings.”

“Oh that hurts, honey!” Spike called in mock pain. “The eggs are fine. Completely safe and sound just like you left them. I love our kids just as much as you do.”

“Hmph!” Selten snorted, padding her way over to the cave and peeking in, “Then you’d best prove it, beloved.”

“Of course, my love,” Spike answered with a smirk in his tone. “Both now and later tonight…” His voice shifted into a purr of sorts as he mentioned the coming evening.

“Oh I so did not need to hear that!” Twilight muttered, pulling a face and looking away so she could hide her disgust in a cup of hopefully spiked punch.

“He certainly takes after me,” Alucard said with pride as he grinned.

Rarity sniffed haughtily, “At least he has the decency to layer it in much less obscene innuendo… though it is unfortunately quite obvious and… dare I say it… unwelcome.”

“Says the woman that was about to regale him with her own bedroom escapades before a claw blocked your mouth, dear?” Blueblood chided as he hugged Rarity to him with his left arm.

“.... You can stop talking now,” Rarity muttered, looking away in embarrassment.

As Blueblood chuckled at his wife’s embarrassment, Anderson approached Selten. “Hello, Selten. Nice to see you decided to soak up some sun after being cooped up in your den for so long.”

“I will admit, the feeling of sun on my scales again is rather pleasant… though I do have to wonder how I managed to pale even further in my time stuck in a cave…” Selten checked her scales, grimacing at how the thinner scales seemed almost translucent now.

“Maybe they need polishing?” Facet suggested. “If I were to compare dragon scales to gems, I’d say that a good polish will have them shining like new. Unless you’re molting. Do dragons molt?”

“... Well, not most of us, but there are those strange ones down near the equator,” Selten muttered. “And, no, I have been polishing my scales rather regularly… perhaps I shall just stay in the sun for some time, see if that fixes things. It might be similar to the process you call ‘tanning’.”

Twilight’s ears twitched and she moved closer to Selten. “Oh I simply must observe this process, dear daughter-in-law.” Her grin spread ear to ear in a very unsettling way.

“.... How about no,” Selten rejected, quickly shuffling away from Twilight.

“Yo! We’re here!” Vinyl called as she and Octavia finally arrived, DeadMau5 in tow as Vinyl cradled her belly somewhat. “Are we the last ones here?”

“It appears so,” Octavia observed, casually looking around as she helped Vinyl up the path with a hand gently pressed to Vinyl’s back. “Perhaps we should have left a tad earlier.”

“Could have been faster if I could run and jump around,” Vinyl muttered while sulking, patting DeadMau5’s head when he rubbed against her.

“Or if you would have just let me carry you,” Octavia chided. “Or even DeadMau5.”

DeadMau5 nodded, “It would have been faster.”

“Oh shut up,” Vinyl muttered as she sat down on the picnic blanket with a groan and rubbed her belly. “Hey guys, hey Selten.” She did a quick double take. “Selten?! You’re outside? In the sun?”

“It seems that everyone is surprised at this,” Selten groused, rolling her eyes as she strode over and held her claw out, “And who might you be?”

Vinyl shook the claw. “I’m Vinyl Scratch, local DJ and musician. This here is my lovely wife Octavia, and my dog/turntable/best friend DeadMau5.”

“Charmed,” Octavia bowed shortly.

DeadMau5 waved, “Hello.”

“My, what an interesting bunch we have here,” Selten mused.

As the party wore on, the sun set in the west and colored the sky a brilliant golden orange. Still, the good times rolled on, with lights set up to keep things well lit and more food retrieved from town.

As the party wore on, one more guest flashed into the scene in a burst of golden radiance.

“Princess Celestia!” Twilight gasped, half bowing on reflex, “What are you doing here?”

“Greetings everyone. Don’t let me interrupt, I just need to speak with Twilight for a bit.” Celestia smiled peacefully, beckoning Twilight to follow along as she turned and began walking towards the base of the mountain.

Twilight stood after handing Integra to Alucard, following Celestia while lighting a new cigar. “Downside to spending quality time with my daughter? Being unable to smoke when holding her. Helps that she’s a daddy’s girl.”

Celestia shook her head, “Must you do that? I know I didn’t teach you to smoke so much…”

“Blame my husband,” Twilight quipped after exhaling some smoke. “I started because of him, now I just love the taste of these things. I spend quite a bit of money on high quality cigars.”

“I know. I see the results of your spending every month, remember?” Celestia quipped, pausing as they entered the patch of woodland at the base of the mountain. “Regardless, I wanted to speak with you about a few things.”

“Oh dear gods. You want to talk about my husband,” Twilight muttered as she put her hands in her pockets.

“.... Well, that’s a related topic, but no,” Celestia frowned and sighed, “It’s more about the necromancy. I know you do it for a good cause and you never intentionally hurt anyone innocent with it… but the nobles are, well… nobles.”

“Do I look like I give a single lonely, mountain dwelling fuck about what those inbred, self-important fucks think of me?” Twilight asked, exhaling some smoke and fixing Celestia with a deadpan look and an arched eyebrow.

“Not particularly, but unfortunately my hands are legally tied at the moment. So, I- hold on….” Celestia peered around the area. “Did you hear that….?”

“Hear what?” Twilight asked, her ears twitching. “I thought you were gonna bitch about my private army of golems.”

“Now is not the time, Twilight… something’s wrong. Listen,” Celestia peered around suspiciously.

“I don’t hear anything,” Twilight said as she took a deeper drag on her cigar. “Can we please get your bitching out of the way and back to the party?”

Celestia glared at Twilight, “That’s exactly the problem, Twilight. What happened to the natural sounds? Have you forgotten all the training you bullied off of your brother and the Guard?”

Twilight’s hands came out of her pockets as her wires flashed into the air. “Bullied is such a harsh word, Princess. I prefer to say that I persuaded them. Now then, let’s find out what-” A light flashed right in front of her before she could react, half of her cigar falling to the ground severed from what she held between her teeth. “The fuck was that?”

“Hello there, Princess and… scum. My name is J. Star, vampire hunter and practitioner of the Ripple martial art known as Sendo. I travel the world, I end threats to humanity, and I also end halfbreed scum on the path to darkness,” the blue haired gentleman came out of the forest with nary a sound, coming just barely within ten feet of Twilight and Celestia before stopping.

“Well aren’t you just the textbook fucking definition of a self entitled twat,” Twilight snarked, pulling her cigar from her teeth and smirking cockily.

Celestia on the other hand, was more reasonably worried. “Twilight, run,” she cautioned, taking a step in front of Twilight. “I’ll hold him off.”

Twilight snorted and pushed Celestia out of her way, wires springing free with a bare snap of the fingers. “You stay out of this, Princess. I’ll handle this fucker in no time.”

J. Star smirked, “I knew you would say that. They all do. They all die.” J. Star’s stance shifted, and the ground around Twilight and Celestia exploded into a cacophony of deafening sound and blinding light.

Twilight screamed and covered her eyes with an arm. “Ow! What the fuck was that?! Princess where are you?!”

Immediately following the ring of flashbang detonations, a curious hissing rang out as the entire path filled with a thick cloud of cloying, irritating smoke, covering all escape routes and plunging the area into total darkness.

“Twilight!? Hold on!” Celestia called out, faring better than Twilight, that is, until a bola fired from seemingly nowhere wrapped tight around her and dropped her to the ground. “Twilight! Run! You can’t fight them off, they’ll kill you!”

“That we will!” J. Star’s voice crowed, just as a chain wrapped around Twilight’s arm and dragged her off, deep into the forest amidst a chorus of both women’s screams- Celestia’s of fury, Twilight’s of horrible agony as the chain bit into and burned her nearly vampiric flesh.

Twilight came to snarling and kicking, the wires held coiled around her arms exploding outwards and shredding her bonds. Enraged shouting broke out immediately after, along with the sound of pounding feet and unsheathing weapons. As her vision cleared, two things were immediately apparent: One, Twilight was surrounded. Two: Celestia was nowhere to be seen.

“Alright you fuckers, I don’t know who you are, but you pissed off the wrong- Son of a bitch!” Twilight’s attempt at intimidating dialogue was ruthlessly cut off as one of the men behind her rushed forward and swept her legs out from beneath her, prompting a shriek of pain as the man’s golden glowing leg burned her flesh.

“Poor, poor part vampire,” J. Star smirked, towering over Twilight with his body sheathed in a crackling golden aura, flamelike in its intensity with streaks of brighter lightning rushing through. “Never faced the Ripple before have you?”

“The Ripple? The hell kinda lameass name is that!?” Twilight sniped back, whipping her wires forward, each razor edge gleaming in the light…. until J. Star caught every single one of the wires in his hands.

“Bad move,” he chided, kicking Twilight in the chest and allowing his aura to flow down the wires, lightning crackling along their lengths until Twilight’s gloves exploded into golden sunrays that seared her flesh like nothing ever had before.

“AAAAAGH!” Twilight screamed, tears of pain rolling down her face as she cradled her ruined hands.

“Hurts, doesn’t it? Normally, vampires only experience mild discomfort from the sun’s rays, but when you take that light, condense it, and mix it with potent magic? Oh, you’re just in for a world of pain.” J. Star slowly stalked up to Twilight, clutching her by the throat in a burning grip that left her choking and wheezing for breaths that would not come.

“Now die, little halfling. Die like the rest of your kind shall when we purge the world in righteous sunfire!” As the aura around J. Star grew brighter and brighter, it became hotter, scalding Twilight’s throat and charring the skin and flesh to ash. Blood poured freely from her wounds, incinerating on contact until J. Star tossed her away in a broken heap, throat burned open and blood filling her lungs.

Twilight gurgled as she struggled for breath, mustering what little telekinesis she could to get a cigar and her lighter, lighting the cigar and puffing it as she let the lighter float above her. Might as well have one last smoke before dying. She found herself thinking of her friends, Alucard, Fluttershy, and felt a tear slide down her cheek as she thought of Integra. “My precious daughter will have to grow up without me…”

“Twilight!”

Without warning, Celestia burst into the clearing, eyes and hands ablaze with sunfire and a vengeful expression set deep into her face. “You…. you monsters…. You HURT MY STUDENT!”

An explosion of power was all the warning that the Ripple Users received before massive tendrils of superheated plasma lanced down from the sun and struck each person in the chest, instantaneously incinerating them until not even ashes remained.

As soon as the flames died down, Celestia’s eyes widened in panic as she raced over to Twilight and slid to a halt. “Twilight? Twilight! Stay with me! Come on, don’t leave me!”

Twilight struggled to keep her eyes open as she looked up at Celestia, her cigar falling from her lips and rolling a bit before stopping, its cherry still smoldering as her life continued to slowly ebb away.

“No… no! I won’t let you die like this! I can’t let you die like this!” Celestia, with tears falling from her eyes, slit her own wrist in a fit of desperation and held it over Twilight’s mouth. Hot, magically charged blood splattered across Twilight’s face and lips, steaming on contact with the air and trickling ever so faintly down into Twilight’s throat.

More and more blood trickled into Twilight’s mouth, slowly reversing the damage that had been done. Celestia smiled weakly, feeling her veins empty themselves as the amount of steam increased from the temperature of her blood.

Wait.

Celestia’s eyes snapped open immediately, going wide in horror as she beheld the form of her student catch flame and burn, immediately collapsing into a pile of ashes covered in peculiar, violet fire.

“Twilight… no….”

“FUCK!!!” Twilight looked around the black void she found herself in, no longer bleeding out. “What is this place? Am I dead? If this is the afterlife, I am going to have words with whoever’s in charge!” She reached into her pockets and found them empty. “GODSDAMMIT!!! Where’s a cigar when I need one?!”

“My my, such language, Twilight Sparkle,” Luna’s voice rang out, clearing the empty, black void from around Twilight and turning it into a night sky of midnight blues and stars, with rolling clouds of fog surrounding the area. The Princess of the Night herself strode through the fog banks imperiously, vampirism on full display as she stood over Twilight. “Congratulations upon your full ascension into unlife, I suppose. With, I see, some few extras.”

“Huh?” Twilight asked before feeling something on her back. Two somethings in fact. Looking back, she saw a pair of leathery bat wings spread out. “Wow. I have wings now.” She did a double take. “HOLY SHIT! I HAVE WINGS!”

“Indeed you do.” Luna rolled her eyes and folded her arms, “Come. We have much to discuss before your resurrection, and I have no desire to leave you uneducated in your new abilities…. though Alucard might be able to help after he finishes ravaging your new self.” She turned and beckoned Twilight to follow her through the fog.

Twilight walked with Luna after briefly giggling at what her husband would do to her. “You got any cigars, Luna? I really need a smoke.”

Luna shook her head, pulling out a cigarette and lighting it. As she took a drag and released her breath, a disproportionately large cloud of minty smoke issued forth from her lips and added to the fog. “Unfortunately, no. I do, however, have menthols if you wish to branch out.”

Twilight grimaced. “Menthols? Disgusting! Inferior! Working class tobacco! You know how much I shell out for my cigars, Luna?!” She crossed her arms and frowned at the lack of good cigars.

“Yes, and both Celestia and I were appalled. A luxury they may be, but one should never spend quite so much on something that matters so little. Now, listen,” Luna waved her hand, clearing the fog and revealing a crystalline citadel made of blackest obsidian and onyx. “This is, rather appropriately named, your soul citadel. It is where the souls of those you consume go when you drink all their blood. It allows you to, instead of dying yourself, send off some poor, unlucky soul to do so in your stead. Given the abundance of the fanatical Ripple Warriors still, you will find a very pressing need to fill it as soon as possible, I wager. As a side note, never drink of a Ripple Warrior. You cannot absorb their souls and their blood is to new vampires as what napalm is to unguarded flesh. But worse. Understand?”

“Got it,” Twilight said with a nod. “So… How many of Canterlot’s criminals are on death row as of today?” She smirked and rubbed her chin at the thought of quickly filling her little citadel.

“I’m sure my sister shall send over the relevant, ah, meals. Continuing on,” Luna turned away from the citadel, clearing the fog in another area and revealing a path of shifting images. “The memory path. Do not get lost on it. You can imagine why it would be a bad thing, considering that this contains not just yours, but also the memories of the souls you consume. Too much time spent here has left many vampires without a sense of self, lost to their instincts as a conscious mind struggles to form a coherent self.”

“Is that why Alucard spent 30 years on a bloody rampage when he first appeared in Equestria?” Twilight asked. “Then I guess the 1500 years in stone allowed him enough time to regain his sense of self.”

“Quite. Though his circumstances are slightly different, there are many parallels. As it is, be thankful that you are building from the ground up, rather than being dropped into your vampirism with a pre-fabricated citadel full of souls. ‘Tis worth a mercy kill, the second one is.” Luna frowned and shrouded the path again, turning away and revealing a fountain, fed by bloody red liquid that was and was not blood coming from the citadel itself.

“The mana font. While your previous font was drawn from your body itself, and gained through the mana in the air, your new font is also supplemented by the power contained within the souls of the consumed. Take care not to drain the souls too quickly, for you can only do so once per soul and taking too much at once will mean that you have no extra lives.” Luna dipped a hand in the fountain, drawing out a handful of crimson liquid and releasing it, watching impassively as it sparkled in brilliant rainbows as it dripped back down into the well and resumed its not-blood nature. “That being said, there is a tremendous amount of power in even the weakest soul, and you may find the rush of power intoxicating. Take care to temper yourself, lest ye find yourself even weaker than before.”

“Yeah. Good to keep in mind…” Twilight muttered, thinking back to her near death. Something that happened purely because she had allowed herself to be consumed by her hubris.

“Next on the list,” Luna muttered, whirling the fog around and spreading it once more to reveal a large kennel, made of similar material as the citadel, with every face lined in impossibly intricate rune circles, layers and layers inside each one. “The kennel, as I like to call it. Note the rune circles. While not actually there, if you form a contract with any sort of familiar, demonic or not, and tie it to your soul, then a representation of such a familiar will appear here, waiting for you to release it. I surmise that the runes already present are the result of your…. golems. If so, I find myself impressed by the sheer number of souls you must have rended down to make such an army.”

“Actually one soul can be split into several golems, so there are more golems than souls, Luna,” Twilight explained with a grin. “So… This is the sort of place that Alucard keeps his dog, huh?”

“Indeed. In my own, I keep a host of shoggoths and bats. Now,” Luna cleared the fog once more, revealing a wall etched with numerous creatures and forms. “Ah, the shape wall. A recording of the forms you may take for yourself beyond those of the souls you consume. And, it seems you lucked out.” She drew a finger across the etchings, each contact with a new animal bringing forth a momentary tingle in what Twilight knew to be different parts of her soul. “Raven, bat, wolf, shadow form. The basic four. Ah, and the monstrous wolf, the many eyed darkness, the eldritch in human skin, the eyeless horror, the many toothed creature with black eyes, bleeding eyed horror of ink and darkness- a personal favorite of mine, truly. Ooh, and you even managed to start off with a killer rabbit form. Cute, but horrifically deadly.... and…. oh dear… the ‘asshole cat’ form.”

Twilight arched an eyebrow. “What’s the difference between a normal cat and an asshole cat? And fuck the rabbit form, I’m using the cat form as my unassuming form.”

“The asshole cat is a normal cat,” Luna frowned, eyebrow twitching madly as she crossed her arms and fumed.

“Oh I get it,” Twilight said. “You’re a lycan, so you hate cats on principle, don’t you?”

Luna nodded and looked away, “Let’s go with that.” Under her breath, she muttered, “Stupid furball… always knocking everything over…. Can’t see why Celly thought it was so cute….”

“I heard that, Lulu,” Twilight teased, enjoying her new vampire hearing.

“Not a single word, Twilight Sparkle, or I will end you,” Luna hissed in embarrassment, a luminescent blush flaring across her face. She coughed and shook her head, “Anyway, that is everything you need to know for now. The rest is simple trial and error. Now, before I send you off, this is a picture of your soul. Do not be surprised- all of them are somewhat like this.”

The fog cleared, revealing the both of them standing within the citadel’s courtyard, the fountain at the center, with the kennels directly opposite the wall. Before the both of them, a screen lit up, revealing the shape of Twilight’s cutie mark made into an intricate rune system of rainbow lines, with the citadel’s distinct shape marked out in the center.

“And before you ask, yes, the rune circle is made of the path of memories. There is a reason why the caution to not get lost exists.” Luna exposited.

“Right,” Twilight answered as she stared at it. “Wow… So now I go back to the land of the living?”

“Simple.” Luna smirked, and, without warning or quarter given, bitchslapped Twilight across both cheeks, whiting out her vision amidst a background haze of light, stinging pain.

“What…?”

Celestia stared as the flaming pile of ash before her suddenly died down, the violet flames dissipating and the ash blowing away in the wind. Before she could react, a massive burst of black flames erupted from where the ash once stood, streaming up into the air and splitting into a flock of screeching bats that, as they converged, formed into a glowing, six pointed star painted in blood red and emitting a black mist as it descended to the ground.

Once it reached the ground, it split apart, shattering into dissipating fragments of mana and letting the nude, somehow even paler form of Twilight Sparkle to flop unceremoniously to the ground with an anticlimactic thud.

“Ugh…” Twilight got to her feet, wings spreading a bit behind her. “I really, really need a cigar…”

“Twilight….? Is that you….?” Celestia’s voice came out faint, weakened by grief and almost silenced by hesitant hope.

“You know any other woman that makes pale skin look this sexy?” Twilight asked while posing and grinning, showing off her shiny new chompers.

“Y-you…” Celestia stood, one arm reaching up as if to cup Twilight’s face but stopping well before she made contact, “... you ascended to full vampirism… didn’t you?”

“Mhmm,” Twilight confirmed. “Full creature of the night now. I need a cigar and some blood.”

Celestia sighed in relief and irritation, “Of course you demand that as soon as you resurrect….” Her further train of thought was cut off by an explosion in the distance. “.... Wasn’t that…?”

Twilight gasped in horror. “The party! We have to get over there!” A pair of roars rent the air as she spoke as though to punctuate it.

“Already ahead of you! Let’s go!” Celestia grabbed Twilight and teleported the both away in a golden flash, both hoping desperately that they wouldn’t be too late.

Spike roared at the Ripple Warriors that were trying to get past him, Integra and Angelus cowering in fear under his protective stance. “You’re not getting near my brother and sister!” Inside the den, the rest of the kids cowered beneath Selten’s crouched form along with her eggs as she hissed at the ones trying to get at them.

The Ripple Warriors that had attacked the party were numerous, a far larger group than the ones that had nearly ended Twilight. As they ran amok, lightning and fire filled the air as each and every man and woman of their war party lit up their sun-derived battle aura, scorching the ground beneath their feet and increasing their attack power exponentially.

“Brothers! Sisters! Destroy the vampires and their thralls!” the lead warrior shouted, rushing into the fray with fists blazing.

The tides of the battle shifted left and right, the defenders giving as good as they got.

Applejack slammed her boots into one warrior’s stomach and blew out his spine, taking a burning strike to her shoulder in retaliation.

Pinkie shattered several warriors’ legs with her hammer and exploded several more with grenades, but was knocked out with a fist to the face.

Rainbow Dash strafed across the sky, firing precise shots into the skulls of twelve warriors, but was stricken down by a lucky shot to her wing.

Vinyl scowled at her belly as she sat beneath Selten with Seras, Gilda, and the children. “If I wasn’t pregnant I could fight!” She clenched her fists in frustration. “Wish I could do something to help out here!”

Seras shook her head, “I do too, but we can’t right now without risking our children. The best we can do is hope that we won’t be needed…. which, considering my husband, Alucard, and… oh look, there’s Schrodinger.”

“Eins, zwei, drei, vier, fünf….” Schrodinger scowled as he deposited Pinkie back behind Selten and Spike, then resumed snapping necks and stabbing throats outside the cave. “Sechs, sieben, acht, neun, zehn….”

Yet, despite the casualties, there seemed a nigh endless amount of glowing, flaming warriors.

“Dammit! Where are they all coming from!?” Octavia growled, garroting one unfortunate man and using him as a flail to smash several of his compatriots into the dirt.

“Hell if I know!” Facet muttered, blocking and dodging each strike from the tide of warriors around him, then retaliating with a razor whip of water that sliced each one in half at the waist.

Maud frowned, idly stomping the ground to impale the warriors foolish enough to come near her with spikes of earth. “I know where they’re coming from.” She pointed towards the east, “Just past the ridge. Mass teleport spell, I think.”

Alucard grinned, cut down the last of the warriors around him with an idle backhand, then waded through the corpses during a momentary lull in the battle. “So, they think if they can throw enough cannon fodder at us they’ll win?”

“They think they can come here and threaten my wife, children, and friends without punishment?!” Anderson demanded as he cut another one down and threw several bayonets into one behind him. “I think not!”

“Alright everyvone~ Alucard, Anderson und I vill check out and slaughter the dummkopfs beyond zhe ridge. You all stay here und try not to die~” Schrodinger all but sang, blinking away with both Alucard and Anderson and leaving the rest of the defenders to deal with the marauding warriors of the sun.

Big Mac grunted, rubbing the soreness out of his arms while the next wave of warriors rushed to the scene. Trixie looked on, huddling behind Selten’s legs while Big Mac defended the cave entrance.

As much as she wanted to do something, fear held her back. The trauma she faced at the hands of Sombra flitted through her mind as she held still, barely breathing.

And then Big Mac was struck down from behind, a quiet explosion of golden power throwing him towards Trixie, battered and bruised.

And something snapped.

Slowly, she stood.

Slowly, the fog in her mind cleared.

Slowly, quietly, returned the pulsing fire in her veins.

And as she stood, her hand flexed, dispelling the illusion carefully laid over it and revealing the sinewy, alien flesh and veins of her artificial, eldritch arm to the light of day once again.

Memories long forgotten raced through her mind- half remembered lessons and passages.

Magical Combat Lesson One: Precision.

Rune circles flared to life with a half conscious thought, launching Trixie’s saber from a portal and embedding it into the throat of an unlucky Ripple Warrior as Trixie rushed forward, flipping over the man’s collapsing body and wrenching her weapon free in a spray of blood.

A wicked, cruel smirk crossed her face as she raised her normal hand into the air, spinning it once and flicking her wrist, spawning dozens of rune circles that each filled the world with light and noise, drawing all eyes to Trixie.

“Tut tut,” Trixie chided, spinning her saber around as her outfit melted into her old show-woman’s outfit, complete with cape billowing in the sudden breeze. “I may have taken my sweet time to respond, but you can’t just ignore the return of the star of the show.”

Her eyes scanned over the incredulous expressions of the assembled warriors. “Sloppy, the lot of you. How sloppy, you ask?”

Magical Combat Lesson Two: Area of Effect

Immediately, hundreds of rune circles spawned from the ground as Trixie stabbed into the dirt with her saber, spearing every single Ripple Warrior around in a massive forest of splintering, branching ice spikes.

“That sloppy.”

With a casual toss of her head, the spikes dispelled and dumped the corpses into growing piles. “Honestly,” Trixie murmured, turning back and kneeling over Big Mac’s unconscious form. “You didn’t have to protect me at all… You should have just stayed with me in the cave, you big lug. But, what’s done is done. And now…. rest, love.”

Rainbow let out a grin even through the pain in her wing. “She’s back!”

“So it appears,” Facet agreed as he slung the blood off Suigetsu’s blade and sheathed it in a single motion.

A sudden explosion shook the ground, its source being the site just over the ridge to the east. A pillar of smoke rose from behind the ridge just as Schrodinger, Alucard, and Anderson blinked back into existence.

“Ve’re back too!” Schrodinger chuckled, “Und zhe vones who attacked us are no more.”

“Turns out it was just like four dudes making clones or some shit,” Alucard sneered, “Barely even worth the effort of killing them.”

“Aye, kind of a mood killer, really,” Anderson groused, sheathing his bayonets and ambling over to what was left of the food tables to see if there was anything left to drink. “Ach, nothing to drink. Pity.”

“Good sing ve finished vhen ve did,” Schrodinger said. “I sink you vere almost out of bayonets, Anderson.”

Anderson stared at Schrodinger, an unamused look on his face, “Care to correct yourself, Schrodinger?”

Schrodinger stiffened as a sweatdrop formed on his head. “Uh… You’ve got bayonets for days!”

“Bayonets for days,” Anderson nodded sagely.

A golden flash of sunfire erupted off to the side, Celestia and Twilight rushing forth from it.

“What happened? Is everyone alright?” Twilight asked, looking around at the wreckage.

“Some bruises and burns here and there,” Facet said as he started healing the injury to Rainbow’s wing. “Nothing I can’t mend.”

Octavia looked more closely at Twilight. “There’s something different about you. Besides you being naked.”

“Well, she’s got wings now,” Rainbow observed idly from behind Twilight. “Friggin’ bat wings too.”

“Ahem, yes…” Twilight coughed, “I had a run in with some vampire hunters and, well, ended up ascending to full vampirehood after Princess Celestia saved my ass. Speaking of which, Alucard, do you have my extra cigars? I desperately need a light right now.”

Alucard went over to Twilight with a tender smile and handed her a cigar and her spare lighter. “You’ve finally become a vampire, my countess.”

“Of course, my count,” Twilight murmured, lighting up and taking a relieved breath. “Just as you’ve wanted for the past several years now.”

“And now my patience is rewarded,” Alucard, leaning in and planting a kiss on Twilight’s lips while her cigar was away from her mouth. “You may wish to get dressed for the sake of all the kids.”

Twilight closed her eyes and focused on her form, the shadows forming around her and giving way to a more provocative version of the white suit that Alucard favored in his Girlycard form. She turned to Celestia and put her cigar between her teeth. “You wanted to talk about the nobles, Princess?”

“Eugh, unfortunately,” Celestia muttered, then sighed tiredly. “Twilight, I’m sorry, but you’ll need to undergo a trial concerning your use of necromancy. Considering it’s been illegal for the better part of several hundred years, well… I’ll try to help you anyway I can, but it won’t be an easy trial. I’m sorry Twilight, I truly am, but my hands are tied on this matter.”

“What?!” Twilight stared at Celestia in shock as she pulled her cigar from her mouth. “Stand trial?! My golems helped save Canterlot and saved Ponyville’s population from being turned into ghouls! Are they really so self-important that they’ll ignore all the good I’ve done?!”

“Benevolent you may be, Twilight…” Facet said as he continued healing Rainbow. “But I suspect they have a solid case against you. And I can’t help but agree in some regards. You have a known history of using violence and intimidation to get your way. The Buffalo tribesmen are but one example of those who could legitimately testify against you. I’m well aware that you killed one of them for the undeniably petty reason of being called a whore.” He finished healing Rainbow and turned to look at Twilight. “Deny it all you want. Outside of Ponyville. No… Outside of your inner circle, people are scared of you. And they should be. At best, you’re a ticking time bomb. And it’s from my own experience that I make that judgment. On top of that, your general attitude makes it seem to them that you think yourself above the law. Am I correct in what I’ve said, Princess Celestia?”

Celestia shook her head, “Unfortunately more than I had ever hoped to be true.” She looked at Twilight, an unreadable emotion in her eyes, “Twilight…. your trial is in three days. Until the date of your trial… you’ll be under house arrest in Canterlot.”

Twilight’s cigar fell from her limp fingers as she leaned on Alucard in shock. “P...Princess…” Her eyes conveyed a feeling of denial and desperation.

“I’m sorry Twilight. I’m so, so sorry.”

Author's Note

We've heard the complaints about Twilight being a karma houdini, so now reality ensues.