((Some chapters contain rather graphic rape scenes. You have been warned.))

((Also, we went back and added the Hellsing Abridged opening to each chapter. Give ya a bit more of the Team Four Star feel.))

Thomas Lancaster and his friends Chloe and Alex Anderson thought they were just buying really good props from that creepy merchant. Now they're in Equestria as the characters they dressed as. Thomas must tangle with the bloodlust of Alucard. Chloe has to contend with Seras' struggle with bloodthirst. And Alex... Well, he's Schrodinger so he's the asshole.

“Sup bitches? You might know me as the one and only CrimsonFuckr, also known as Alucard. Now, I wasn’t always a badass vampire tied to a necromancing girl with a blood drinking fetish, but hey, them’s the breaks, right? Well, at least I have my little protege/master, my old best friend and her annoying twin brother to keep me company. Buckle up kiddos, this is gonna be a hell of a ride. Get it? Because I’m a vampire? …. It’s funny.”

“No it isn’t.”

“Shut up Twilight your face isn’t funny! Anyways! The following is a fan based fiction. Hellsing Ultimate is owned by Kouta Hirano and- y’know what, fuck this. Hey Police Girl, we got our shit with the lawyers settled, right?”

“Yeah? Why?”

“Okay, just making sure! Ahem: Blah blah blah fanfiction, blah blah blah MLP:FiM is owned by Hasbro, blah blah blah, Hellsing Ultimate, blah blah blah Hellsing Abridged and Team Four Star, blah blah blah official release. ”

“How did you manage to make one word sound so dirty?”

"Practice."

((Displaced story cowritten with Jsyrin Enjoy))