I Have Vacation Days?!

Twilight awoke with a contented sigh, feeling pleasantly sore from the night before. She shifted slightly, opening her eyes and staring up at the ceiling with a soft smile. Twilight couldn’t help it, she giggled quietly at the thought of her, the reclusive bookworm and secret necromancer, having finally found someone to truly connect with… in all senses of the word.

Alucard pulled her closer and smiled at her. “Did you sleep well, master?” His smile was the rarest of his tender smiles: the one he reserved for her. He ran his fingers through her hair and gently kissed her.

Twilight snuggled into Alucard’s larger frame and breathed deeply of his scent, sighing in contentment, “Best night of sleep I’ve ever had.” Though Twilight honestly would have no problems staying in bed with Alucard for the whole day, she sat up, already feeling the loss of Alucard’s cool presence despite his being right next to her. “Still, we have things to do. Damage reports to file, reconstruction… Trixie…”

“I have an idea for her,” Alucard said as he stared at his master’s naked back. “I thought of it while watching you sleep.” He sat up and put his arm around her. “Since she’s now homeless, and it’s partially our fault, why don’t we offer to put her up here?”

Twilight tapped her chin, staring down at her lap, “That might be for the best… The other people here wouldn’t likely put up with her… and we are living off a rather generous stipend from the crown- far too much for just one person, a vampire, and a draco-lich. The only question is if she’d agree to living with us.”

Alucard chuckled. “Well, we did save her life. And she might be interested in learning your tricks. After all, you did what she lied about doing: fighting an Ursa Major and winning.” He pulled Twilight closer. “And you’ve certainly proven your skill by doing so, my dear master.”

“Still… I did humiliate her to the whole town, nearly beat the crap out of her, and then drove her into a place where she could have died… and then accidentally cut off her arm and indirectly render her homeless the very next day.” Twilight dropped her face into her hands, “At this point I wouldn’t be surprised if she just wanted to kill me at this point.”

“Except that she knows she wouldn’t win,” Alucard pointed out. “You soundly proved you outclass her in every way, and then there’s your handsome vampiric lover that is very protective of you.” He grinned at her as he said that.

“Well, there is that,” Twilight murmured before letting the sheets slip from her body as she stood, slowly pulling on a more casual outfit; jeans and a tank top.

“Master. Do you think necromancy holds the secret to immortality?” Alucard asked as he stood and formed his usual outfit over his body, then thought again and assumed his female form.

“Necromancy? Hmm, not really,” Twilight mused, “I mean, while it does have its uses in lengthening lifespans and manipulating souls, it always comes with some sort of price that makes the thought of necromantic immortality, at least, for me, rather… unappealing.”

“I see,” Alucard said as he looked out the window. “In my passion for you, I forgot that I was closing my own form of immortality to you, master.”

Twilight blinked, “What do you mean, Alucard?”

“For a human to become a vampire, two things are required,” Alucard said. “One is that their sire must be of the opposite sex. And the other…”

“...” Twilight’s eyes widened, “.... you have to be a virgin. Oh…. oh dear… Well, we certainly screwed that one up quite literally, didn’t we?”

“That we did, master,” Alucard agreed. “That we did. Although…” He got a thoughtful look on his face.

“Alucard, what are you plotting?” Twilight asked, sitting back down on the bed.

Alucard grinned at her. “Perhaps that spell of yours can give rise to a new breed of vampire. You’ve grown fangs by drinking mine and Luna’s blood.”

“Yes, but that’s only after years and years of just drinking magically charged blood and hundreds of necromantic rituals.” Twilight crossed her arms, “Even so, the fangs don’t really do much. And blood is still more of a luxury than a necessity.”

“And that Ursa was your first taste of magically charged blood in two weeks, yes?” Alucard inquired.

“Well, yes…” Twilight mumbled, still not quite seeing Alucard’s point.

Alucard laid his hands on her shoulders and looked her in the eye. “Consider the possibility that you’re developing an addiction, master.”

“.....” Twilight laughed, “Ha! As if! I can quit any time!”

Alucard smirked. “Prove it then. If you can last one month without drinking blood, any blood, then I will believe you.”

“You’re on!” Twilight smirked confidently, determined to prove herself to Alucard that she absolutely did not have an addiction to blood.

Twilight sat by Trixie’s bed, still slightly disheveled from the reconstruction work that she had done. She twiddled her thumbs, just itching to release the wires stored within the embroidered runes on her gloves. On her bed, Trixie lay still, looking almost comatose save for the slight twitching of her eyelids that indicated dreaming.

Trixie finally began to stir, slowly opening her eyes. “W-Where am I? I can’t feel my arm.” She started trying to sit up.

Twilight placed an arm on Trixie’s shoulder, gently holding her in place, “Might not want to sit up, Trixie… you took quite a bit of damage when I pulled you out of the way of the Ursa.”

“Damage?” Trixie asked. “What sort of damage has been done to Trixie, Twilight Sparkle?!” she demanded in her haughty tone.

Twilight’s face fell, “I… when I pulled you out of the way… I… my wires grabbed too tightly, and there were a lot of lacerations on your left arm and your front… one of the wires nearly sliced into your throat… and…. I’m sorry…. but… Your arm… it’s…. well…” Twilight awkwardly motioned to Trixie’s right side, which had sustained, with the exception of her arm, the least amount of overall damage.

Trixie’s eyes widened. “My… My arm… You cut off my arm…” She slowly lifted her remaining hand toward the stump.

Twilight slumped over, “I’m sorry, I tried to be gentle, but… I panicked… and I had to pull you away quickly…”

“What else?” Trixie asked. “What other damage has Trixie sustained?”

“Ah… well…” Twilight winced, “Uh… when… when the Ursa died… it… uh… it fell… on your caravan…” She twiddled her thumbs furiously, an awkward flush heating up her face.

“So Trixie is not only crippled and with a ruined reputation, but also homeless?!” Trixie demanded, a glare coming to her face as she looked at her visitor. “You… You…” Her hand shot out and wrapped its fingers around Twilight’s throat. “YOU RUINED MY LIFE!!!” she screamed as she tried her level best to strangle Twilight with one hand.

Twilight did nothing, taking Trixie’s fury with a stoic silence aided by the light shimmer of mana around her throat to keep it from collapsing. After Trixie finally gave up on strangling Twilight, Twilight, put her hand on Trixie’s shoulder and gave the destitute show-woman a soft look, “I know I ruined your life, Trixie. That’s why I’m here. So that, even if you hate me forever, even if you never forgive me… at least I can try to get you back on your feet”

Trixie snorted and turned away from her, her arm over her stomach. “Why should Trixie accept help from you?” she asked in a bitter tone. “And why do you want to help her?”

“I want to help you because it’s the right thing to do. Maybe I’m not the nicest person, maybe I have questionable morals at some points, but I got you into this mess, so I’m going to do my level best to pull you out of it.” Twilight’s grip on Trixie’s shoulder never wavered, her face resolute and her words spoken with conviction.

Trixie was silent for a minute before sighing in resignation. “Fine. Trixie will allow you to help her.” She frowned at her. “But that does not mean she forgives you.”

Twilight smiled, just a little, “I’d have been surprised if you already had. Now, the doctors say that, barring any complications, you’ll be free to go by tonight, so Alucard and I will see what we can salvage from your caravan, is that alright?”

Trixie nodded. “Yes. That is fine, Twilight Sparkle.” She lay back and turned away from her, absentmindedly rubbing her stump.

“Don’t worry, Trixie… even if I did do all this… I swear, I’ll fix as much of it as I can.” Twilight stood, drew the covers over Trixie’s form, and left, making sure to turn off the lights as she exited.

“Well, Alucard, let’s go see what we can salvage from Trixie’s old wreck.” Twilight stepped from the hospital and immediately began heading towards where Trixie’s caravan had been, trusting Alucard to follow.

Alucard walked beside Twilight, still in the form of Girlycard. “So you were correct in your prediction of her trying to kill you,” he noted with a small grin.

“Tch, of course she did. With an attitude like hers, I would have been more surprised if she had just forgiven me on the spot,” Twilight murmured, releasing the wires from her gloves as she came to the site of the wreckage. “Well, better get started...”

The microfilaments immediately began shredding the broken wood, lifting it up and to the side as Twilight manually sifted through the mess, occasionally pulling out articles of intact clothing or the occasional reagent.

One item that made her pause came from beneath what seemed to be Trixie’s previous bed: A photo album containing pictures of the locations Trixie had performed at. There seemed to be a startling number of orphanages and children’s hospitals contained within the pages, Twilight even recognized the sign of Canterlot General Hospital nestled halfway through the book. “....Looks like the bitch has a heart after all,” Twilight mused, tucking the book safely away into a cardboard box that she had picked up on the way.

“Quite surprising that one such as her would have a soft spot for children,” Alucard said, tossing aside wreckage as he looked for more salvageable stuff. In the remains of a dresser, he found a large bag of bits. “Her life savings, you think?”

“Probably want to get that back to her, methinks,” Twilight said, still sifting through the wreckage for anything else worth saving. After a few minutes, she found a slightly damaged teddy bear, a long gash torn across its belly and its stuffing spilling out. “... well, this shouldn’t be too difficult to repair, especially if we give it to Rarity…. only problem is that she’d probably try to ruin it by making it ‘fabulous’.”

“We should tell her that we need it to be just a normal teddy bear,” Alucard said. “Under threat of me groping her again,” he said with a chuckle and grin.

Twilight snorted with laughter, “That will probably work. Now…” She hefted the rather sizeable box, filled with all sorts of things from clothing to fireworks to magical reagents, “... Shall we deliver what’s left of Trixie’s life back to her?”

“We shall, master,” Alucard said, gesturing for her to lead the way toward the hospital. “Perhaps she’ll be a bit more receptive now.”

“As they say, a good bribe works wonders when getting into someone’s good graces,” Twilight stated, heading first in the direction of Carousel Boutique. “We should probably get Rarity to fix the bear first, don’t you think?”

“I do,” Alucard agreed as he followed her.

Alucard knocked on the door to Rarity’s Boutique and waited beside Twilight for her to answer the door. And it was instead answered by Schrodinger. His cat ears twitching as he grinned at them.

“....Schrodinger? Why are you here?” Twilight asked, confusion plainly evident on her face.

“Having tea and chatting vith Rarity of course!” Schrodinger answered cheerfully. “Vhy? Vhat did you sink I vas doing here?” he asked with a coy grin and a couple more ear twitches.

Twilight shrugged, “Honestly? I just wasn’t expecting you here. Anyway, we got some salvage from Trixie’s broken caravan and we need to talk to Rarity about a slightly damaged teddy bear. So, can we come in?”

When she blinked, Schrodinger was seated on Rarity’s fainting couch with a cup of tea in his hand. “Of course. Come on in, friends,” he said with that cheerful smile.

Rarity walked in from the kitchen with a new pot of tea and saw her new guests. “Twilight! Alucard! How are you, darlings?” she asked with a smile.

Twilight smiled, “We’re doing well, Rarity. Though, this isn’t exactly a social visit… we were salvaging what’s left of Trixie’s caravan and found this teddy bear. It’s a little torn up, and well, it’d be wonderful if you could fix it.” She held up the bear, noting that a little more of the stuffing had fallen out during the walk.

Rarity set down the pot and strode over, taking the bear and examining it, “Well, far be it from me to refuse a request from a friend… even if this is Trixie’s… but surely you can’t mean to just leave it so… plain? Wouldn’t Trixie perhaps feel better if this little bear were to be just a tad more-”

“If you say fabulous I’m going to have Alucard grope you.”

“.... nevermind…” Rarity glared at Alucard, hands held protectively over her chest.

Alucard laughed his impish laugh and threateningly raised his hands, clenching his fingers a bit. “You know I’ll do it if she tells me to, Rarity.”

“Oh I know that all too well you ruffian. Now, this is a rather simple repair, shouldn’t take more than five minutes, really.” With that, Rarity turned away, magic flaring, with tools and fabric floating through the air as she worked.

Trixie was staring at the wall in silence when she heard the door open. “Who is it?” she asked in a dismissive, even tone.

Twilight entered, carrying the box of salvage with the teddy bear perched on top, “It’s me again, Trixie. The doctors said that you’re clear to leave, but no strenuous activity for at least two weeks. I also brought everything I could from your caravan, including your photo album and this little guy here.” She indicated the teddy bear, lifting it from the box and placing it in Trixie’s lap, the photo album following shortly after.

Trixie stared at the two items in shocked silence. “I thought I lost these…” she muttered as she looked at the bear, gently picking it up and letting a small smile cross her face. “This bear is one of, if not my most, cherished possessions. It was a gift from one of the children I performed for at Manehatten General Hospital. I was told the next day that he had died of complications from his cancer.”

Twilight’s jaw dropped slightly, “I’m… I’m sorry…” She then smiled slightly, “I’m glad I rescued that bear from the wreckage, then.”

Trixie nodded and set the bear down before opening the photo album, turning to a picture of her with a young boy in a hospital bed. Both of them smiling bright for the camera, even as the boy was clearly on his last legs. “I’m just glad I could give him a reason to smile before the end. When I first arrived, he was sad, and brooding. He was depressed that he was going to die, but I managed to help him accept it.”

Trixie walked through the double doors of Manehattan General Hospital, the sight of the lobby still familiar, even years after she had left home to pursue her chosen career. The blue-clad illusionist was a bit of a strange sight to behold in the lobby, so out of place among the various concerned loved ones with family and friends injured or sick.

She strode up to the receptionist’s desk, foregoing her usual theatrics and speaking at a normal volume, “Ah, hello? Tr- I was booked in for the pediatrics ward as a one-thirty show? My reservation should be under, ahem… ‘The Great and Powerful Trixie’.”

The receptionist looked up boredly, scanning the list of names in front of him and handing Trixie a visitor pass, “Here y’go. You’re cleared. Head on in.”

Trixie nodded and took the pass, affixing it just over her heart and moving deeper into the hospital. She cherished these moments; she may swindle the crowds en masse during her regular shows, but here, where she could bring joy and laughter to children with such horrid disadvantages… such times were where she truly thrived. She tapped her foot on the elevator floor, noting that the staff had installed a faster elevator between now and the last time she visited.

A few moments later, the doors hissed open and Trixie stepped into the pediatrics ward, following the hallways she now knew by heart and coming to a halt just outside a set of double doors leading to the same room she had always performed her shows here in.

The seconds ticked down until one thirty.

3…

2…

1….

Show time.

A pre-prepared burst of magical fog slammed the doors open as Trixie announced her presence to the children, “Greetings children! For it is I, the Great and Powerful Trrrrixie! And I have come here for one simple purpose today! Would anyone like to guess what it is?”

A single hand shot up from near one of the other doors. Trixie recognized its owner- little Pure Heart had been here for the last three years and always loved it when Trixie made her bi-annual visits.

“Ooh! Ooh! I know! I know! You’re here to tell us a story, Miss Trixie!”

Trixie smiled brightly, “Your powers of intuition serve you greatly, small one! Now, listen well, boys and girls, for Trixie shall dazzle you with her tales great and powerful…” She leaned forward, sparks dancing from her hands and the whole room filling with a deep, mystical feeling.

“...And that, young children, is how the Great and Powerful Trixie defeated the mighty Ursa Major!”

Trixie threw her hands out with a flourish, streamers of light and color jetting out and erupting into a magnificent display of fireworks as she bowed theatrically. “Thank you! Thank you! It was such a pleasure being with you all today, my lovely audience, but alas! I must go! There are places to go and monsters to defeat! So, my darlings, the Great and Powerful Trixie must go!”

She vanished behind a plume of smoke and an invisibility spell, sneaking over to one of the orderlies and signalling for them to start wheeling the now overjoyed children back to their rooms. As the other orderlies did so, Trixie noticed a most worrying sight: One little aerial child with crimson wings, moping about in his bed with an expression that spoke not of childish dissatisfaction with Trixie’s performance but rather, something that Trixie was all too terrified of.

Crippling levels of depression.

It was in the eyes, as they often said, that lack of energy, the utter hopelessness, the existential despair… Trixie shook her head as the last child was wheeled out, dropping her spell and asking the orderly, “Who was that little aerial child? The one with the crimson wings?”

The orderly sighed and ran a hand through his hair, “That’s Wander. Poor kid. Got so many types of cancer going on that he’s barely got the day left. Been depressed since he learned just how bad his situation was… dunno how we could help him…”

Trixie frowned. Maybe her job outside of hospitals was to rake in the cash and be an arrogant braggart, but dammit this was charity work and her job here was to make the kids smile, even if they were dying. “What room is he in? I’d like to see him.”

Trixie stepped into Wander’s room with barely a sound, softly closing the door behind her and taking a seat by the little aerial’s bed. The boy barely turned towards her, continuing to stare down at his hands with a forlorn expression.

Trixie sighed and took Wander’s hands in her own, “Wander, if you could, I would very much like you to listen to what I have to say.”

Wander sighed, “You’re just going to tell me to be happy, aren’t you? Tell me to enjoy your show instead of being all mopey?”

“No,” Trixie shook her head, “What I want to tell you is a little closer to the heart than my little show. I won’t say that I know how you feel, Wander, but I’m going to tell you another story.

“When I was a child, my father one day fell gravely ill. We took him to the hospital, but nothing the doctors did could help my father. But, even though he was dying, even though he only had just hours to live… he still smiled. Even though he had nothing left to smile about… he smiled anyway. Just before my father died… he told me why he kept smiling.

“He pulled me onto his lap, got very serious, and told me ‘Trixie, life will always come to an end. This is a fact that nobody, not even Princess Celestia can change. You may wonder, what is the point of living if you’re just going to die? Well, I’ll tell you, Trixie. The point of living is to keep moving forward and live your life with as few regrets as possible. When life gets you down, think of all the good things out there that you haven’t done yet. Even if you knew you were dying, just think about the present and think about all the good things that you’ve done, that your family and friends have done, think about all the good things in life and know that, even though you’re going to die, that at least you got to experience so many things first.’ And… and his last words were to always stay strong, to never let life get you down because to do that would be like turning your back on what you could do.

“Things may be bleak, Wander, but know this: even if you may be dying, you can still fight on. Just because your cancer might be winning doesn’t mean you give up. So chin up, soldier! My father and my mother always told me that the best way to go down is to go down fighting! So I say this to you, Wander! Will you let your cancer get the best of you and quietly surrender? Or are you going to fight for your right to live until your dying breath!?”

Wander stared in silence at the panting woman, going crosseyed to stare down at the finger nearly tapping him on the nose. Finally, a spark of life broke through the dullness of his gaze.

“Y-you’re right, Miss Trixie… I… I can’t let myself go without a fight! My father always told me to always go down swinging but I never listened before!” Wander’s voice, long since unused to speaking more than a few sentences, cracked and broke as he spoke, but the message rang clear and true.

With a sparkle in his eyes and a determined smile upon his face, Wander came to a decision, “Miss Trixie?”

“Y-yes, Wander?”

He hefted the teddy bear beside him and held it out to her, “Since… since I might die soon…. I want you to have him, so he’ll have a good home. Take care of Mr. Ursa for me, Miss Trixie, please?”

“Oh Wander…” Trixie couldn’t help it, tears sprang to her eyes as she gently took ahold of the bear, cradling it to her chest, “I’ll take good care of him, Wander, I promise. Now, heed my words, Wander! Never go down without a fight! And keep that smile on your face always!”

“I will Miss Trixie!”

Trixie sniffled, wiping her tears and procuring a camera from her hat. “Before I go, would you like to take a picture with me?”

“That would be awesome, Miss Trixie!” Wander grinned as Trixie sat down beside him, the camera levitating into position.

“Say cheese, Wander!”

“Cheese!”

The camera flashed, and spat out a photo, Trixie reaching out and duplicating it with a wave of her hand. She held out one photo to Wander, sticking the other in a large photo album.

Wander hugged Trixie, burying his face into her cape, “Thank you Miss Trixie. Thank you so much…”

“Think nothing of it, Wander. You just stay positive, and you’ll never be beaten, even if… even if you die.” Trixie hugged Wander one last time, waving off the nurse motioning to the clock and the door.

“I have to go now, Wander… visiting hours are over…”

Wander patted Trixie on the shoulder, “It’s okay, Miss Trixie. You just go out and do your thing. And maybe we’ll see each other again next time, yeah?”

Trixie nodded, “Then… then goodbye, Wander. Perhaps I’ll see you again, one day.” And with that, Trixie spun from the room, cape billowing out dramatically behind her.

From behind the closed door to Wander’s room, she heard one last thing that made her heart soar in pride.

“YOU HEAR THAT CANCER!? YOU CAN’T BEAT ME! EVEN IF YOU KILL ME, YOU’LL NEVER BEAT ME!”

Twilight smiled and wiped away a stray tear as Trixie finished her story. “You know… I have a lot more respect for you now, Trixie. Sure, you act arrogant and are a braggart, but it’s clear how much you love kids. Anyone that cares so much for kids can’t be all that bad.”

“Hmph, of course Trixie isn’t that bad. What, did you assume that Trixie was nothing more than an arrogant braggart that cared for nobody but herself?” Trixie huffed and attempted to cross her arms, looking incredibly put off when she remembered her lack of a right arm.

Twilight blushed and looked away. “Actually… I kinda did at first.” She schooled her features and looked at Trixie. “Anyway, I did more than salvage your stuff. If you’re willing, I’ll put you up in the library with me. You can be my assistant; I live off a huge royal stipend. More than me, Alucard, and Spike know what to do with.” She gave the show-woman a small smile.

Trixie huffed, “Well, Trixie assumes she’ll be paid for the work she does? After all, Trixie does not plan on staying with you forever, and traveling takes money… and transportation, the acquiring of which also requires money.”

Twilight nodded. “Of course I’ll pay you. And who knows? Maybe you’ll like it around here. Ponyville grows on you. It certainly did for me, and I grew up in Canterlot.”

“Hmph. We shall see, Sparkle.”

Trixie couldn’t help it, she just had to stare at the massive tree that would serve as her new interim home. “That… is a very large tree.”

“Amazing what terrans can build, isn’t it?” Twilight asked with a smirk, her right hand lightly supporting her chin. “Welcome to my humble home.”

“.....” Trixie stared at the tree some more. “I’d hesitate to call it… humble…. Now, my former home. That was humble.” Shaking her head, she dragged the cart containing her last few worldly possessions to the door and waited expectantly for Twilight.

Twilight giggled and let them into the library. “Trust me, Trixie. Compared to my place in Canterlot, this place is very humble.” She shut the door behind them. “Spike! Come say hi to our guest!”

Spike poked his head out from the kitchen curiously before spotting Trixie. Immediately, his expression fell into a flat look of utter disinterest, “Oh. It’s you. Hi.” His head disappeared back into the kitchen and a sudden clattering rang out, sounding like someone had thrown a pot on the ground.

Twilight sighed. “Spike. Trixie is going to be living with us for a while. Please try to get along with her.” She looked at Trixie. “I apologize for my son’s behavior, Trixie.” A glance behind Trixie made her have to hold back a smirk. “But I’m sure my dear boyfriend will be more welcoming of you. Isn’t that right, Alucard?”

“Yup. Very welcoming, boss,” Alucard said from right behind Trixie.

Trixie shrieked and whirled around, inadvertently placing her breasts in the perfect position for Alucard to grope her.

Alucard grinned as he squeezed her soft mounds. “Only slightly smaller than boss’ tits. Nice rack on you, Trixie Lulatits.”

“GYAAAAH!” Trixie slapped Alucard with all her might, backing up and pointing her arm at him, unleashing her most powerful flame spell…. only for it to spark and fizzle out before it even left her hand. Trixie stopped and stared at her outstretched hand, cycling through every spell she knew, growing more and more despondent with each failure.

“No… No… this… this can’t be happening! Trixie cannot have been reduced to a magical cripple! No no no no no no no no no no!” She sank to her knees, staring at her hand in utter disbelief, repeating her mantra of “No”s over and over again.

“And you rage and scream and reach through the aether to crush the shadow who has destroyed you,” Alucard intoned. “But you are so far less now than what you were. You are like a painter gone blind. A composer gone deaf. You can remember where the power was, but the power you can touch is only a memory. So with all your world destroying fury, you can only produce sparks, and in the end, you cannot touch the shadow. In the end… you don’t even want to.”

Twilight knelt down and took Trixie’s hand in both of hers. “Trixie. I’m sorry this happened to you, but maybe you can make something better out of this.” She could feel the flow of mana in Trixie’s body. Diminished, but not gone. “You’re not crippled completely.”

Trixie snorted, tears rolling down her cheeks, “Still crippled in more ways than one. No spells, no arm… I might as well have signed my own death warrant.”

Twilight pulled Trixie into a hug. “You can work through this. Alucard raises an interesting point. One of Equestria’s greatest composers was deaf, and he ironically became better than he would have been otherwise. Because he had to work twice as hard to overcome his handicaps.”

Trixie sighed, “Beethoofen was a genius, a master of music. He overcame his handicap because he was just that good. Me? Please. I may have graduated top of the class in Manehattan, but I’ve barely been above average my whole life. Nothing special, just a little better because I was born into a family with some old blood in it. How could I work through this handicap?”

“Blood has power, Trixie Lulamoon,” Alucard said, slowly walking toward her. “Blood can carry many things, including power. For blood is the currency of the soul, the vehicle of life. You have vast untapped potential. Potential that an ordinary institute could never hope to help you uncover. But my master?” He smirked, showing his teeth. “My master is a true prodigy in every sense of the word. And she was able to tap her potential under Celestia’s guidance. You can do much the same with my master’s aid. She offers you help to become better.” He stopped when he was standing over the kneeling woman. “You have lost much, but now you have a choice. Will you wallow in self pity forever and die like a dog? Or will you embrace this opportunity and become more than you were before? What fate do you choose, Trixie Lulamoon?! Giving up is what kills people! Those that refuse to give up are entitled their time to trample upon the weak!”

“......” Trixie stared down at herself once again, remembering lessons half forgotten and words long since over, “... Never go down without a fight…. My father used to say that… my mother used to say that… hell, I even said that to Wander all those years ago! So why, why am I sitting around on my ass and moping!?” Trixie stood, flaring out her spare cape with a dramatic flourish, “Come, Sparkle! If I am to overcome my handicap we are to begin immediately!”

A beat.

Then, as Trixie’s legs collapsed under her from the sudden movement, “Maybe after a nap.”

Twilight giggled and helped Trixie to her feet. “Yeah. You need a little more rest before starting any magical training. Come on. I’ll show you where you’ll be sleeping.”

Alucard grinned at Trixie. “You, Trixie, are proving very interesting. I’ll be keeping an eye on you.”

“Please don’t. I don’t think I would enjoy having to clean your blood out of my clothes every day.”

Trixie rode through endless fields of wheat, driving her caravan along a path. She giggled to herself, looking back at the endless bags of bits filling her cart and the woman somehow fitting inside. Even with her magical handicap, even with her missing arm, with the help of Twilight Sparkle, she had come back more powerful than ever, able to make the crowds go absolutely wild at her mere appearance. And now, rolling in bits, she took off, traveling across the world, just to see the sights.

“I hope you realize zhat Twilight vill never manage your money,” a male voice with a strange accent said from behind her.

Trixie whirled around, the dream slowly fading into the background as she spotted Schrodinger. “Who are you!? And what is this!?” She held up her seemingly restored arm, only to notice that it was gone once again. “What!? Wha… what happened to my ar… is… is this a dream?”

“Ja. You’re dreaming, fraulein,” Schrodinger said as he crawled from the bits and sat down beside Trixie. “You’re such a narcissist, Trixie.” His ears twitched as he grinned at her.

Trixie blushed, “Sh-shut up! W-who wouldn’t have dreams of making a comeback after they’ve been crippled?”

“Most of zhis is a comeback,” Schrodinger said. “Having zhe personal apprentice of zhe princess as your secretary? Zhat is narcissism.”

“....” Trixie shrank back and chuckled embarrassedly, “Eheh… okay, you may be right…”

Schrodinger laughed and leaned on her. “I’m surprised, fraulein. Most vould ask how I’m in zheir dream to begin vith.”

“Trixie went through a course on dream magic back when she was but a young girl. There’s not much of a surprise when one already knows that there are several methods of dreamwalking.” Trixie crossed her arm over her chest, acting as if her other arm was still there.

Her unexpected companion laughed at her words. “It vas not dream magic zhat got me here, fraulein! No one else has my method.”

“And what exactly is this method?” Trixie asked, arching her eyebrow.

His ears twitched as he grinned. “Quite simple, really. I am everyvhere and novhere.”

“..... How the hell does that work,” Trixie wondered, tapping her chin in thought. “No matter, Trixie will ponder upon it once awake. Now, Trixie assumes you have business?”

Schrodinger chuckled and appeared in front of her, balanced on the caravan’s edge. “I’m here to deliver a message from Pinkie Pie. Straight from zhe party girl’s mouth!” He sucked in a breath. “Hi! I’m Pinkie Pie! And tomorrow afternoon I’m throwing a welcome to Ponyville/congrats on getting well party just for you! It’ll be at Sugarcube Corner! We’ll have a great time and lots of fun! There’ll be candy, cake, games, and lots and lots of laughs!” He had delivered the word dump in Pinkie’s voice. “Zhat’s zhe message,” he said in his normal voice.

“.... Noted,” Trixie stared at Schrodinger, thinking that he got weirder and weirder with every passing second. “Thank you for that, Mr….?”

“Schrodinger,” he introduced with a bow. “Zhe self-observing cat zhat is everyvhere and novhere!”

“Nice to know. Now, thank you for the message, Mr. Schrodinger. If you’ll excuse me, I have a field of imaginary money to roll through for presumably the next eight hours or so.” Trixie turned back to the dream, slipping back into her contented mood and diving into the pool of somehow not incredibly painful bits and swimming around within it.

Her pleasant mood did not last, given the squeezing sensation on her chest pulling her back to the waking world. “Wakey wakey!” Alucard called as he sat atop her bed, straddling her as he groped her with a wide grin.

“If I wasn’t so sure that slapping you would only have the opposite of the intended effect, I would slap you until my other arm came off,” Trixie stared up at Alucard with a deadpan glare, lying absolutely still under his…. ministrations.

The vampire’s eyes widened. “Who told you about my sadomasochism?! Was it Schrodinger?! I’ll wring his little neck for ruining the surprise!” His hands continued to fondle her as he ranted about the catboy that drove everyone around him nuts.

“No, you just have that look about you,” Trixie monotoned, “that is, the look of a complete and utter sexual deviant. It’s the glasses and the smile, really.”

Alucard laughed that grating impish laugh. “Only one woman alive can comprehend my sexual preferences.”

Trixie rolled her eyes, “You’re a Twilight-sexual with a heaping dose of teasing perversion and sadomasochism. What else is there to know?”

He laughed again and turned into Girlycard. “How about this, Lulatits?” He still didn’t bother using a female voice.

“Exact same. Just the look is different. And don’t call me Lulatits. It’s degrading.” Trixie shrugged ever so slightly, “Of course, if my ass were a bit bigger, I suppose you’d find some way to make me wish I didn’t have my real name.”

“Ooh… Like what you did there,” Alucard said before jumping off her. “Well, you’d better get down for breakfast. If you’re not fast enough I’ll end up going down on my master’s absolutely flawless pussy.”

“.... Trixie does not wish to be anywhere near the two of you engaging in coitus. Therefore, Trixie shall be going downstairs now.” Trixie stood, dropping the sheets and throwing on one of her few remaining outfits. “Oh, and… thank you for waking me up without resorting to using the volume of Miss Sparkle’s orgasms. I believe that the town would not have appreciated such a thing at this hour.”

Alucard turned into mist and floated out the door while laughing. “Yes! She sure can scream can’t she?!”

With that, Trixie went down for breakfast.

After eating, Trixie sat back and looked over to Twilight, “So, what work would you have Trixie do?”

“As assistant librarian, your job consists of helping keep the books organized, keeping track of who checked out what and when, which books are overdue and who has them, and given your affinity for them, you get to read to little kids every weekend!” Twilight was widely smiling.

Trixie blinked, “Well, that seems to be a fairly simple task, though reading would be rather difficult when I possess only one arm to hold and manipulate a book and have no magic to aid me.”

“Just set the book in your lap,” Twilight said simply. “I do that a lot.”

“.... Fair enough. But then, what if there are pictures? How would Trixie show the pictures to the children… Hmmm…” Trixie dropped her chin onto her fist, “A slight conundrum, wouldn’t you say?”

Twilight giggled. “Just think of it as an opportunity to practice,” she said. “Gotta remaster the basics first after all.”

“.... Trixie thanks the fact that she is left handed…” she muttered, “but not having a right hand shall make things… difficult.”

“Need some motivation?” Alucard asked from behind Trixie as he groped her again.

Trixie looked down at her breasts, “While Trixie does not appreciate that it is your hands groping her breasts, Trixie cannot deny that you have skill in this area. However, such activities are not exactly appropriate outside the bedroom… or a well secluded broom closet… or an out of the way alley, should such a venue suit one’s whims.”

Alucard laughed. “So you like my skill, Lulatits?” He grinned at Twilight, who winked at him with a sultry smile.

“Your hands are rather skilled, though a little bit of fondling won’t do a single thing to get Trixie into bed with anyone,” Trixie blushed very slightly. “Though, it has helped, on occasion. Anyway, Trixie desires to start working now. You will have to excuse Trixie if she does not do the best job in the world for some time, though.”

Alucard let her stand and smacked her ass. “Like you said, Lulatits, I’m Twilight-sexual.” He grinned at his master as he put his arm around her.

“Indeed you are,” Trixie mused, moving over to the library and stopping, “.... Trixie must inquire just how this library is organized, as Trixie cannot see so much as an opened logbook anywhere in sight. Nor can Trixie find any system of keeping track of recently borrowed books. Sparkle, just how have you been keeping this mess afloat!?”

Twilight blushed. “Well… We don’t get that many visitors who actually want to check out books.”

Trixie stopped and stared, “..... This is the most pitiful library Trixie has ever visited. And Trixie has been to Roanikstead’s Public Library.”

“Ow…” Twilight muttered with a wince. “Well, truthfully I pull the books all down and reshelve them every week. Just because.”

“You are not helping Trixie’s opinion of this library,” Trixie muttered, running her hand down her face. “Okay, new plan. We need to make a way to coherently organize this mess. First: Organization by genre, then further organize by the Dappley Decimal System. Second: We need to go furniture shopping.”

“Why furniture shopping?” Spike asked in confusion, joined in arching an eye ridge by Alucard.

“Because this library lacks many things. Including, but not limited to: A librarian’s desk and chair, file cabinets, library carts, ladders for the height disadvantaged, extra tables in case of people wishing to study, etc etc. It’s a pitiful selection of books, too. Even with shelves circling the entire circumference of the tree, there’s still barely enough space to hold a thousand or so books, give or take a few.” Trixie’s haughty expression had slipped from “braggart” to “scholar”, her long forgotten bookworm streak coming back with a vengeance.

“Oh gods…” Alucard muttered. “Someone cloned my girl!” Spike rolled his eyes at that claim.

“Hardly. More like someone cloned Trixie and then made the clone…” Trixie swallowed her pride, “....better. I am older than Sparkle, here.”

Alucard leaned over to Twilight and whispered in her ear. “Are you getting turned on by her bookworm self, boss?”

“.... A little bit,” Twilight whispered back, “but it’s not the same as a blood-induced lust. More like I want to just debate with her on… everything.”

“So you don’t want a threesome?” Alucard asked, still whispering before licking his master’s earlobe.

Twilight blushed, “No! …. not yet… maybe… later…” She coughed, “Anyway, furniture shopping?”

Trixie smirked, but acknowledged Twilight’s suggestion, “Quite. Now, you’ll have to lead Trixie to the furniture stores. She’s only been in town for about three days now.”

“Well, there is a good store about a mile from here…” Twilight mused, “They sell a lot of stuff, not sure just what, though… We’ll need to check.”

“How did I get roped into this?” Spike asked as he walked with them, pulling a cart behind him as he was flanked by Twilight, Trixie, and Girlycard.

“Because, right now, as the only one physically male, gender stereotypes say that you are the one required to haul any and all purchases made by us, the females,” Trixie stated matter-of-factly, waving around a cheap, impulse-buy, plastic star-tipped wand as if it were a lecture pointer.

Twilight nodded in agreement, though she gave Spike a sympathetic look. Girlycard just laughed like the jerk he/she was.

Spike glared at Girlycard and stared ahead, muttering something like, “Damn genderbending vampire…” under his breath.

“You’re just jealous that you can’t abuse the hell out of gender stereotypes!” Girlycard laughed, casually flipping both middle fingers up at Spike.

Spike hissed and spat some of his fire into Girlycard’s face. “What does mom see in you?” he asked as he kept pulling the cart and glared ahead.

Trixie and Twilight had, at this point, pulled far ahead, talking about some form of magical technobabble or another.

Girlycard caught up and threw his/her arms around their shoulders. “So where to next, boss? Lulatits?”

Twilight pointed in the direction of a rather large building with a sign depicting a desk out in front of it, “Raven Desk’s Furniture Shop. Biggest… and pretty much only… furniture shop in all of Ponyville.

Girlycard laughed loudly. “Come on, dear Spike! Impress Rarity with some strength displays!”

“Rarity!? Where?!” Spike looked around furiously, pulling the cart with enough force to bring him back up to speed with the rest of the group. “.... Oh, ha ha. Very funny. Tease the draco-lich with a crush so that he works harder. I get it.”

Girlycard patted him on the head like the pet most people thought he was. “Good boy, Spike. Good boy.”

“.... I hate you…”

Twilight cut in, “Alright, that’s enough bickering. Let’s just go inside, get what we need, and actually get some work done turning my library into an actually usable library and not just a slightly public collection of books.”

Trixie nodded, “Well said, Sparkle.”

Once inside, Trixie immediately began looking around, moving from desk to desk, checking wood type, wood quality, storage space, work space, anything and everything necessary to absolutely maximize efficiency while she worked. After looking through about half of the desks- a process that took nearly half an hour- Trixie finally settled on a nice mahogany desk, about as long as she was tall, with four large drawers and a pull out tray/drawer with a lock.

Then came the chairs.

After exhausting a good three quarters of the various swivel chairs in stock- this time taking a full hour- Trixie settled on a nice, brown leather swivel chair, with several options for generating maximum amount of comfort.

Next, file cabinets. This one was simple, Trixie just chose a pair of three drawer steel cabinets and called it a day on that mark.

“Trixie, can we take a break? My arms are falling off!” Spike complained, eyeing the massive stack of furniture in the cart dubiously. Sure, he could easily pull it back to Golden Oaks, but lifting them all and carrying them around was taxing even on his undead, magically enhanced muscles.

“Hmph, fine. Trixie supposes that a break has been earned. It is lunchtime. Spike, haul the purchases back to the library, would you?”

“.... Fiiine…”

“Good boy.”

“Well now that was fun,” Girlycard said with a grin he/she chuckled at the exhausted Spike. “Good work, Spike. I’m sure Rarity would have been very impressed by your work.”

Spike grumbled in annoyance, “Shut up, jerkwad.”

Trixie, meanwhile, had taken to spinning around slowly just beside the strange podium in the center of the massive floor space, trying to see just how everything would fit together. At long last, she snapped her fingers and pulled a piece of paper and began sketching out a rough floor plan.

“Trixie has decided that we will need to add in some extra walls, so as to block off the stairs and the kitchen area from the general public. We shall extend the wall along the stairs, adding in more bookshelves- those may come later, and then add the librarian’s desk at the end of this wall, forming an unofficial cordon. The filing cabinets shall line the inside of a short wall built perpendicular to the outer walls, creating a bit more of a cordon. Thankfully, the desk came with sliders, allowing it to be easily pushed out of the way when not in use. Before and after service hours, the desk shall remain pushed to the side, so as to not restrict entry or exits to and from the building. As the kitchen door is just off the side of the stairs, this means it also doubles as an unofficial break room. The tables we bought shall go in a concentric arrangement around the central podium, and the chairs shall line both sides of the circle. The podium, as it has a desk level “rim” surrounding it, shall also double as a peculiarly shaped desk, so any excess chairs shall form a ring around it- four at the most, I think. When the extra bookshelves arrive, they shall form a roughly concentric set of “rings” with a sign on top of each shelf to detail just what genre they hold. As we have ordered quite a few bookshelves, we should be able to get a good spread of genres. Finally, near the front, we shall keep a large area clear- enough to seat at least twenty children on the floor, with enough space left over to put a chair and maybe a small bookshelf. Any questions?”

While Trixie had talked, Girlycard had turned back into Alucard and spoke up with a grin. “Yeah. Are you positive you’re not a clone of Sugarlips? Because that display of nerdy planning really turned me on.”

Trixie rolled her eyes, “Any relevant questions?”

“Where did you learn all this?” Spike asked. “Never thought libraries were so…” he struggled to find the right word.

“Involved?” Trixie asked, arching an eyebrow.

“Yeah! That’s it!” Spike said, snapping his claws.

Trixie blushed, “Though Trixie does not often admit it… Trixie has a degree in library sciences… and before you ask, that is a program offered by the University of Phillydelphia. Our final project was to design an efficient public library based on a building layout of a particular building. Trixie just so happened to receive a layout similar to this one, strangely enough.”

“Wow. Lot of programs offered huh?” Spike muttered.

Twilight spoke up, “The University of Phillydelphia is widely known across all academic circles at having the largest pool of programs to choose from, even in fields that you would think a class about would be entirely useless, like a class on the ins and outs of running hotdog stands.”

“Indeed,” Trixie muttered. “I once nearly took a class on the finer points of whittling a chess set due to a bureaucratic error…”

“I feel sorry for those poor bastards,” Alucard commented, staring at Trixie’s rack.

“No time to feel sorry now, Alucard. Time to start moving things around!” Trixie exclaimed, whipping her hand out and pointing dramatically at the pile of stuff lying in the corner, cape billowing dramatically.

It had been an interesting four days, Trixie mused. There had been much shouting, work, and lots and lots of remodeling. Books and bookshelves had been ordered, flyers had been handed out, and Twilight had even managed to get all of her books from Canterlot, fiction and nonfiction, onto the shelves and/or stored in the lab/storage area in the basement.

But, they had finally managed to turn Golden Oaks into a respectable example of a library. Now, Trixie stood in front of its doors, beside Twilight.

“Ladies and gentlemen! Boys and girls! We welcome you here today for the grand reopening of the Golden Oaks library! Twilight, if you would?” Trixie waved grandiosely at the doors, prompting Twilight to slice the ribbon in front of them and shove the doors open with a flourish, the townspeople immediately surging in, all of them browsing with great eagerness upon their faces.

Trixie smirked, “And that, Sparkle, is how you make a public library.”

She paused, tapped her chin and slapped her forehead, “And of course, the only realm in which I outclass you seems to be in library design.”