Mr. Cee, Big Daddy, err, Big Uncle.

CH: 6

---~~~---Theresa's dream, Luna's PoV---~~~---

Luna was confused by what she just witnessed, a less pale version of Feast with a different outfit was standing beside her. After what she saw, Luna was really hoping to have a nice conversation with-

"Hi."

"Ahhhh!"

Looking back at the little monster beside her, Luna gasped. Feast was standing right where the 'normal' version of her was moments before.

"Did I startle you? Sorry about that. You know, this isn't really the best place to talk, allow me to fix that." After she said that, the landscape began to change. The sky and playground gave way to a moderately sized room with white walls, no doors or windows and several pieces of furniture.

"How?" Luna asked, confusion filling her tone, "How did you do that? Only I can affect dreams."

"Really, ponies don't know about lucid dreaming despite having a princess who does it all of the time? Well, first I acknowledged I was dreaming, than I felt like having our conversation here. Simple." Feast answered while walking over to a corner of the room that resembled a small kitchen.

"Tea? It's only polite considering we robbed you."

"...Yes, but if I may ask, why are we here? And who was that?" Luna asked while she walked cautiously towards the kitchen where Feast was putting a kettle on to boil.

"Hmm, well to put it simply, this is the room we made while imprisoned for a thousand years, minus the window. That guy you saw, six feet tall, thin body but large forearms and looks like he could box with a minotaur, that was my uncle, you can call him Mister Cee if you like. Definitely better than Beast." Feast answered, walking past Luna towards a large black mirror.

"That was Beast! But-"

"But nothing." Feast interrupted, "Do you think I always had these glowing eyes, or always had skin so pale? No. Now, would you like to know my name, or would you rather call me Feast."

Pausing a moment, Luna gave a kind smile, "That would be nice, considering the last we met, you had me proclaim I was retarded." Luna said as Feast laughed.

"Heheh, sorry. If I said it, Mister Cee would've hit that guy."

"Somehow, I feel that would have been my prefered choice." Luna frowned, "That Shoryuken thing hurt, and the destruction of my memory room destroyed countless mementos of a life long lost."

"Yeah, sorry about that, Mister Cee kinda got carried away. Anyway, my name is Theresa, nice to meet you and not start screaming bloody murder." Feast, or as she introduced herself as, Theresa, said. Turning around from the mirror, Theresa looked Luna up and down for a minute straight before continuing, "You know, Mister Cee never attacked without reason. Sure, we were both unthinking monsters, but he only ever fought to protect me and him."

"While that may have been the case, you both committed many crimes-"

"Oh I'm sorry, but we were kinda brainwashed mindless automatons!" Taking several deep breaths, Theresa continued, "You think that Nightmare Moon stunt hurt? Try waking up in blank room with your only family in the world and a crazed god of chaos, memories of drinking warm blood making you sick to your stomach while your uncle tries to keep himself together in order to keep you together."

Theresa paused, wiping small tears running down her face, "You woke up after the Nightmare, we had to deal with ours for a thousand years and no matter how many times we tell each other we weren't in control of ourselves, that our bodies were doing it, that we weren't responsible for our actions because we weren't choosing, we still had to live with the guilt. You've been looking back over your actions as Nightmare Moon for over a year now, we've been doing that for a thousand years!"

Turning around, Theresa picked up a small, silver rectangle and pressed something on it, filling the black mirror with lights and colours. Luna was floored, everything the monster, no... the child, in front of her said was truthful and honest. She may be a thousand years old, but she was still young physically. Looking at the mirror, Luna watched as it showed a picture of Mister Cee wearing his armour standing next to Theresa, his porthole light was a colour she hadn't even knew was possible, green, and a makeup covered Theresa was wearing a pair of yellow tinted sunglasses. A smile on her face as she stood next to the hulking leviathan, several others like her standing around them smiling while a sea of others, wearing many colourful dresses and costumes like them, formed the backdrop.

"This was the last day Mister Cee and I had with ourselves as ourselves. After that day, we woke up somewhere in Equestria, me believing he was my daddy and him believing the same. Our memories were wiped, like we never existed before that moment. I needed to consume magic via drinking blood, so we walked around. Came upon a caravan that was under attack by bandits, we waited until the bandits won and we went in. They were freaking out, not everyday a seven foot tall biped shows up with two drills for hands, even more so when a little girl starts stabbing a needle into one of the corpses and then drinks their blood." Theresa gagged at that, the thought of drinking blood clearly disgusting her, though she seemed to have composed herself.

A shrill whistle pierced the air before Theresa walked over to the kettle and continued making the tea. Luna walked over and watched as a table with a cushion and a chair were summoned from thin air. Sitting down, Luna continued the conversation, "You said that your memories were erased, how did you get them back?"

Smiling, Theresa replied, "Well, Discord may be many things, but he isn't a totally lost cause. He doesn't care for neat little rows but he does enjoy company and conversation. So he took the time to go through our minds and unlock our memories, on a serious note, do you know what a thousand years talking with him is like? Pretty amusing for the first hundred years, surprisingly repetitive after that."

'Discord? How did they know he didn't-'

"Before you assume he implanted something in us, let me ask you something." Theresa guessing, and interrupting, Luna's thoughts, "Did Mister Cee destroy Canterlot on our way out? Was anypony rendered into an unrecognizable mess or a drained corpse? I won't say that Discord's the good guy, but he isn't a murderer, even by proxy. He's more like an excitable child, running around messing things up for other people only ever thinking of himself or his friends."

Sitting down at the table, Theresa poured the tea into two cups that were also summoned from nothing. Pushing one of them over to her, Luna thanked her before asking her another question, "What was your uncle like before he became... whatever he is now?"

Taking a sip of her tea, Theresa smiled as she answered, "He's pretty much the same as he was before; he's still as tough as nails with a strong sense of right and wrong, takes high risks for high payouts, selfless and protective for his friends and family, won't hesitate when it comes to blows and loves Krav Maga and parkour. He has a personal motto; it's better to be prepared for a losing fight, than to have a easy win."

'So, he'll fight fiercely for his loved ones, won't surrender or kill ponies without a very good reason and knows somethings called crawl magah and par core, whatever those are.' Luna thought before searching through her mind for one question, one question that'll end the conversation, for better or worse.

"What are you two going to do?"

"Survive, avoid you, your sister, the element bearers, and ponies in general. Eventually, we'd get home." Shrugging, Theresa took a sip of her tea before continuing, "Personally, I'd like it if one day we all could be friends, but today, today we're getting away from all of you and plan on enjoying the freedom which has been denied to us since we got here. To put it bluntly, neither my uncle or I trust any of you with our lives so soon after we got them back."

Leaning back in her chair, Theresa smiled as the scenery started fading, the dream and conversation coming to an end. "Just know this Luna, if he has to, Mister Cee will take on entire armies for me. Touch me and pay, god only knows how much the last guy who tried to take me away suffered."

With that, Luna was ejected from the dream and started casting the exit spell needed to bring her back to the waking world, unaware of Theresa smiling as she said, "I just had a conversation with Princess Luna, even after a thousand years, that's still cool." Followed by the most girly fangirl squee ever. Well, she does have pre-pubescent vocal cords.

While Theresa was fangirl squee-ing, Luna was thinking, 'If you ignore the glowing yellow eyes, she's rather adorable. I wonder what hugging her would be like.'

---~~~---Theresa's PoV---~~~---

When I woke up, I decided not to tell Charlie about my conversation with Luna. After we waved goodbye to Enge N, I tried to shake the feeling that I knew that name from somewhere. Unsuccessfully. But Charlie did.

"*Crash Bandicoot! That was the pony version of Dr. N Gin, get it? Engine, Enge N, N Gin, they're all the same.*" He groaned, a smile likely under his helmet due to solving the puzzle. I merely smiled, it's nice knowing he's happy.

While we were walking away from Ponyville on the not-yet-soap road, passing by the gate to Sweet Apple Acres, I heard a familiar sound; someone clearing their throat. Turning around slowly, I found myself looking at Granny Smith with her M1 combat helmet on her head. Looking at the, possibly senile, grandmother, I open my mouth to try and talk her out of doing something stupid when she spoke.

"Now what have ah found, hmm. A minotaur an' his little 'un, are you two here ta cause trouble? We got enough of that happening right now in case ya haven't noticed. "

Looking around the orchard, I noticed the lack of any visible apples. Nodding my head, I turned back to Granny Smith, "Yeah, your apples are all gone." I replied.

"Not gone, they just wandered off, grew legs an' everything." She replied, "The cows have all turned red an' are freaking out, the corn rows have turned into weird circles an' other fancy gee-om-mitt-tree shapes an' the chickens have been laying ostrich eggs!" She said while waving a hoof around before she adopted a serious expression. "Say, you look like you can handle strange happenings, mind helping an old mare out?"

"*What do you think? This is way out of our league but I rather not piss off an old lady, crazy or not.*" Charlie asked, his gaze not wavering from Granny Smith.

"Sure, we'll see what we can do." I assured her.

"Mighty fine of ya, when you come back, I'll give y'all something real neato." She said before heading back towards the farm.

Turning back to Ponyville, we walked the short distance to the chaos capital of Equuis, talking while we walked.

"*So what, we go in, ask Discord to leave the farm alone and hope for the best?*" My uncle asked, "*Because that's not gonna happen.*"

"Well, we can at least try. What's the worst that can happen?" I replied before looking up and watching as my uncle tick off his fingers.

"*He can turn us back to what he found us as, he drives one or both of us crazy, he can lock us in cotton candy statues or my personal favorite, laugh at our request.*"

"Okay, well, can you turn you back on someone in need? Are you just gonna give up on all of your morals?" I asked, "Sure, this all will go away when Discord gets turned to stone but does she know that?"

After a short walk, discussing the 'improvements' Discord made, we approached the center of the chaotic town, buildings floating around and the sky switching between sunshine and nighttime every few minutes, the roads were still dirt and weren't coloured in that checkerboard pattern yet, so we still had time before the elements show up. Discord was sitting in a Lay-Z-Boy, backwards, upside down and spinning in place.

"Ah, my favorite statue buddies, how are you finding your freedom?"

"Fine," I answered, "feels great to stretch again."

"Oh, I know the feeling," after he said that, we watched him form a pretzel shape while his joints popped like machine gun fire. "So, what can I do for you two?"

"*A couple of things; could you explain me and Theresa's condition, help us with what we should do with three months of Anam collection and even the odds against tougher opponents with a new combat Tonic and some chaos powers.*" Charlie explained, Discord agreed and spent several minutes just staring at us. The creepy thing about it was watching him stay still, creepy until the cardboard cutout fell down and revealed him napping. "*HEY!*"

He jumped awake before looking over at us, "Okay, first off, you both are still pair bonded, three days away from you and Charlie will start going rampant, if not followed by than straight to entering a coma then death. Believe me, death is a better alternative to what you'll experience in your grief filled insanity. You, Theresa, will have a delayed reaction, after a few days, you'll get easier to scare, after six days you'll start behaving more like a Little Sister should. Anything more than a week and a half and you'll start losing your memories, enter a deep depression and mourn the death of your Big Daddy, it'll be as if he was never your uncle. Through there is hope..." He trailed off.

"*What is it?*" Charlie asked.

"Through you both have absorbed some magic while you were terrorizing Equestria for three months as well as during your incarceration, you Theresa, have the single most evolution capable creature I've ever seen. It couldn't get substance from its normal meals, so it evolved to consume something incredible." Discord smiled as he looked over us, "It literally eats the rules of magic. I can't even describe how crazy that is!"

'If Discord can't describe how crazy, it must be impossibly crazy.' I thought to myself.

"*...What?! How did that happen?*" Charlie roared.

"Well, it couldn't get anything to eat for three days, but found itself in a world with an incredible amount of energy just sitting there, Adam slugs are more predator than scavenger, and when one found itself in Equestria inside of Theresa, it found a way to survive on something with no natural predators. The concept of magic and it's restrictions and rules!" He chuckled as he looked over us, "You have been consuming the magic in pony blood and processing it into raw magic as a byproduct, Anam for lack of a better term, which is highly volatile and dangerous. I may use chaotic magic, but pure magic makes that look tame. It is literally a force of creation, if there's anywhere to put your hope, then that'll be it."

"So I just learn magic and I'll be able to heal us?" I asked, "Sounds dangerous."

"No and yes. You see, you won't be able to use magic yet because of your nature as a Gatherer, but Charlie can. He'll need to practice for a while, pure magic doesn't like being bound to someone's desires and will do anything it can to twist your intents to its purposes. It can crumble magical defences and artifacts, burn the rules off and allow you to drain ponies and other things of their magic. Unless someone knows what they're looking for, a mass of magic with no signature, then you'll be unnoticed by magic sensitive creatures. Anam's lethal, it'll kill you as soon as you miss one loophole, I'm not one for taking the safe road, but I'll tell you this," He paused to put on the most serious expression I've ever see him with. "Be careful, the amount of unaligned magic in Theresa could do almost anything, it could rip the planet in half, spin the remains around one hundred and eighty degrees and play patty cake with what's left, all because you felt like making a mud pie. The smallest mistake can grant it the right to greatly misinterpret your intent and cause grievous harm." I shuddered at his description while Charlie asked him what he meant by both of us passively absorbing magic.

"Have your plasmids been acting differently, Charlie?" He replied.

"*What? As far as I can tell they've been acting pretty much like the game, except...*" Charlie trailed off.

"Yes?"

"*...my insect swarm Plasmid, I used two hands for it, but it only attacked one pony, ignored the other pony in the room and didn't even kill the target.*" He finished.

"Your Plasmids, and possibly Tonics, are evolving, adapting to deal with magic, as I've said, Adam is evolution given form. A thousand years on a shelf just absorbing magic is a good way to change something. I guessing you wanted only one pony to be targeted and didn't want to kill him, so you subconsciously altered what you wanted the Plasmid to do. If you use normal Plasmids, than they'll use EVE, if you alter what they do, they'll use a small bit of Anam as well to fuel your modified Plasmid. Your Plasmids and Tonics act like routes, channels if you will, for Anam to go, guiding it a lot safer than using only Anam, giving it a strict set of rules and instructions, no set of instructions made by anyone in several universes can ever come close to the precision that DNA has just for hair colour. That is how you'll use it for the most part. Anywho, besides getting my powers, you want a combat Tonic and a chaos Plasmid as well. Very well, just make sure Sun Butt gets it good."

Snapping his fingers, a Plasmid syringe and a Tonic jar appeared on the ground. Picking them up, I asked, "What are they?"

"The Plasmid is called Organized Chaos, it'll give you a quarter of my chaotic powers and is fueled by the unaligned magic in your body, allowing you to make cotton candy clouds, candy cane trees, anything food related really and it'll play music! It'll also allow you to dispel chaotic constructs, creations or effects, just incase you run into a less than friendly version of me. It'll get five percent more powerful, versatile and efficient the more you prank any Celestia, ten percent for messing with ours. It'll even level up at fifty, seventy five and one hundred percent, no spoilers as to what though." Nodding my head, I looked over the Tonic, it had a picture of a label of a arrow with speed lines pointing at a big rock.

"What's the Tonic?"

"That is a little something I came up with one day and implanted in the mind of some scientists, it's called, The Unstoppable Force meets an Immovable Object Tonic or UFIO. To put it simply, Charlie will be able to bulldoze through physical defenses once he gets up to speed or take the strongest physical attacks without missing a step after staying in one spot for a while. He'll be a runaway freight train with the unflinching aspects of a bunker."

"*...Damn...*"

"...Damn..."

"Yeah I know, I'm too good sometimes." He rubbed his claws on his chest before putting them back on. "Now, back to you, Theresa. You'll need to consume blood, at least two pints a day to feed that little guy. As to the raw magical build-up, Charlie is gonna need to absorb that, we'll do this now so that you don't have to worry about going Ka-Blammy!" He paused to throw his arms out while a pink cloud behind him blew up, a forced cheerful smile on his face, after that he continued. "Be warned, the magic you absorb will be raw, pure, unaligned magic that even alicorns can't use easily. Adam rewrites your genetic code, but Anam... Anam is the ink needed to write your very will unto the worldhere, and your intent is your pen, be careful with what you want to happen when you focus it."

He paused for a second to put on a serious expression, "Don't try and heal yourselves with it until you get more familiar with it, small stuff until you get used to its interruption of your intents. I never supported playing it safe, but pure, raw magic is volatile, it'll paint a big bullseye on you that anyone would fight for. I may have said the pen is mightier than the sword, but you... you have the finest pen, ink and this beautiful, chaotic world is your stationary."

Nodding our heads, we waited for a few seconds before he continued. "Now Charlie, place your hand on Theresa's head and focus on drawing something out of her head. Imagine pulling a liquid from a container like your arm is a straw and your intent is the force."

"Is it gonna hurt?" I asked, "I figure we can't leave it in but if it's gonna hurt I would like to know beforehand."

"I don't know." He replied, a rare expression on his face, one he didn't put on but changed normally to, one of concern.

Feeling a massive, gloved hand on my head, I heard my uncle say, "*You are your daddy's daughter, and I know for a fact he didn't raise a crybaby, but I won't hold it against you if you cry... too much.*"

Smiling, I replied, "Coming from the drug runner in tin can armour, that's rich." As I closed my eyes, I had a thought, I wondered what would happen if he had to choose between the two of us, what would happen to him? Knowing him, he'd heal me without a second of self thought. Even at the cost of his life... but could I live with the cost?

A few moments later, a... indescribable feeling came over me. If anything, I guess that it would be like donating blood, only with a strange energy I didn't even know I had. I didn't feel weak, if anything, I felt like I just ate Thanksgiving dinner only for the sensation of being full just vanishing, while not even realizing I was stuffed.

Charlie groaned, saying nothing as the Anam flowed from me to him. I didn't feel any pain, just a draining sensation and a desire to rip open one of the blood packs and chug it. Gross. After we were finished, Discord checked up on us.

"That's a lot of magic, pegasus, unicorn and earth pony all blended together. How does it normally taste?" He asked while looking up my nose with a otoscope.

"Well," I shrugged, "pegasi taste like red hots, spicy. Unicorns are kinda like sour balls and earth ponies are rather minty, yet sweet, you know. Mixed together, it would probably taste kinda like a fruitcake made with jalapenos, lemons and winterfresh gum."

"*I didn't taste anything, I feel stronger, like stronger than normal, but that feeling it gave me, it was like my first time getting buzzed off of beer, it made me want more. Disturbing.*" Shaking his head, Charlie scratched his hand, unaware of his dive suit in the way.

"Interesting, I wonder what other effects Anam is giving you? Oh well, now, off with you two, I need to prepare my victory speech." Even Discord couldn't keep an upbeat attitude when he said that, something seemed off with him. Obviously.

"Hey, strike a better pose than your cartoon cousin, kay?" I suggested, "Wouldn't want Sun Butt to order an entire victory cake again, would we?"

We laughed as he reappeared back on his Lay-Z-Boy throne, "Good point, I'll pick a good one. What was that chaotic kook thinking, cowering like a rabbit."

After we'd finished laughing, Charlie had hooked the Tonic in and drained it, just before he stabbed himself with the needle, Charlie looked up at Discord, "*This Plasmid isn't gonna turn me into a draconequus, is it?*"

"Nonono, but it might make you crave purple for a while." He warned while shaking his arms, then reattaching them.

Shaking his helmet, Charlie prepared the needle, tapping the air bubbles out first. "*One for the killer bees, two for the sonic boom, three to make a icy bitch, four to cook her cold, blackened heart!*"

Plunging the needle in, Charlie injected the chaos Plasmid and roared. It seemed that chaos powers hurt more than normal Adam, yet once he stopped panting, he looked at me and groaned, "*Never again, no matter how great that felt, I'm never injecting chaos again.*" His Plasmid gloves flashed white and when we looked at his right glove there was a smiling Discord face in a small circle, one of six arranged in another circle around a blue orb shape. On his left was the same blue orb with six empty circles around it. Under both of them were another six circles in a simple rectangle formation with the one on his right having the Unstoppable Force meets an Immovable Object Tonic's symbol.

"Strange. Maybe that is how your new magic is represented? It's definitely a nice likeness." Discord smirked at the image of himself, having come down from his Lazy Boy throne again. Waving him off, we headed towards Sweet Apple Acres to de-Discord the place.

After we cleared up the farm, most of it was unexciting other than Charlie convincing the apples to follow us back to the barn by using the power of Flo Rida, (yes I'm serious about him using Flo Rida, guess what song he picked), Granny Smith asked us to go pick up Applebloom and the Crusaders from school. I didn't want to do it, but Charlie felt like I should apologize for what happened back in Canterlot.

I told him only if he can get in the building without destroying a wall. Apparently, Anam fueled chaos powers are not the way to make a new entryway. "The heck?! You made the whole wall into a Japanese paper wall!? Made of swiss cheese!" I shouted while freaking out.

"*...Damn. Well, I can get in-*"

"How?! How can you possibly get in here without tearing the wall into cheesy toilet paper? You know what, wait here. I think we traumatized Cheerilee. Again! Just, go practice your chaos powers over there." Pointing a finger at the playground, I walked over to the schoolhouse. The whole front wall was rather fitting considering the chaos in the air, the area around the schoolhouse apparently being a safe zone. The same went for the hospital and, except for Discord's little guard drop, the Canterlot school of medicine now that I think about it.

Opening the American sliced cheese door, I was met by the screams of almost three dozen foals and one panicking teacher. That sound will haunt me and my ears for the rest of my life. After a few seconds, Cheerilee stopped screaming long enough for me to say something.

"Excuse me, can I have everybody's attention, I have a announcement!" I yelled over the screams. Looking over at Cheerilee, I grabbed a ruler and banged it on the desk a few times. When that failed, I went drastic.

*Screeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeech!*

Here's a fun fact, introducing the nails on chalkboard screech to ponies is a insta-kill to their focus. They all immediately stopped screaming and clamped their hooves over their ears. It was glorious. And petty.

After I stopped, I looked at the classroom, it was much bigger than DT's cute-ceañera episode made it out to be. "Hello, my name is Theresa and I'm here to apologize for my actions back in Canterlot. I'm sorry I cursed so much... and scared some of you... and demanded some of you give me your blood. I've been standing in the same place for a little over a thousand years and kinda got stir-crazy but that's no excuse for what I did. If you can find it in your hearts to forgive me then thank you and if you don't then I'll understand." As I finished, Charlie groaned something, which immediately sent Cheerilee to hiding under her desk.

"*Hey Theresa, you done? You gotta see what I did to the playground, it's fucking hilarious.*" He called from beyond the cheese wall.

"If he broke something, I'm gonna carve Celestia's cutie mark into the back of his helmet." I grumbled as I headed outside. Once I got outside, I was met with a scene straight out of a kids dream.

Looking around the playground, I took in the ridiculous sight; he turned the swing set into candy canes, Twizzlers and chocolate bar pips, worse of all is how it all looked functional. The eagles nest, not to be confused for a jungle gym, was either made of a half of a gumball, half of a sour ball or half of a jawbreaker. The slides were made of fruit roll-ups with the ladders were made of those white and chalky candy sticks. The play fort was constructed out of chocolate in a manner that you could only get if you used a 3D printer with cookie roofs and flooring. The seesaws were made of granola bars and gum drops. The sandbox was filled with sugar and made from chocolate bars.

Meanwhile, a mare by the name of Colgate cleared her personal schedule on a whim and experienced a desire to brush her teeth for no reason at all. Walking back inside, I was, thankfully, met without the screams. I walked over to Cheerilee and cornered her, "I think we should take this outside, come on." I said.

Turning around before she could respond, I walked back outside and waited for her to compose herself, or write up a Last Will and Testament. When she came outside, she immediately froze up at the sight of my uncle standing a few feet away.

Which was only broken by watching him tap on the sugary swing set's sweet striped supports.

"*I have no idea if this'll stand the test of time, or the test of young mouths, but it should hold up alright till Discord gets stoned. Whether it'll be him in a statue or getting the munchies is my question.*"

"Hopefully it'll last for a few hours after Cheerilee releases them for the day. But that's not important, Cheerilee, we need to talk." I replied, Cheerilee wisely keeping her distance as she observed the new playground.

"Wait, what?!" She said, her head spinning so fast I thought she'd broke it. "What do you mean talk?" She asked, fearfully stepping behind the slide on the play fort she was inspecting.

"*I want you to tell us why you're so scared of us, besides the obvious reasons of course.*" Charlie groaned.

"What he said."

"...um, what did he say?" She replied, followed by my face making a great impression with my hand.

"Why are you so scared of us? I admit there's probably plenty of good reasons but you have one in particular. We expected outright fear from most ponies and have gotten pretty much what we expected but you went full on paralysed when it's just me. Why?" I asked.

She looked from me to Charlie a few times before taking a deep breath, "My dad told me about you two and his twelve times great grandfather, he barely got out of there alive."

Corporal Cheerful's Journal

The ambush almost succeeded, until that little demon screamed. She immediately ran from the Sergeant when he tried to catch her, running behind her 'daddy' and screaming about baddies trying to take her away. The monster impaled our Sergeant on one of his odd, spinning limbs and threw his desecrated body at me. If it wasn't for that, I would've been killed. The Beast, for that was what it was, slaughtered my squad. I only survived because of the Sergeant's corpse pinning me to a tree, unable to join in the losing battle, I could only watch and listen as they were slaughtered mercilessly.

That and play dead when the beast and his 'daughter' walked up to me. I can still remember her words, she said 'I wasn't sleeping yet, but she didn't need to play with another angel while there were so many others.' Even as I write this at my old and weary age, I cannot for the life of me figure out what she meant, or why the Beast ignored me when I am, to this day, pretty sure it knew I survived.

A week later, the Princesses turned them both into stone, a few days after that I took my marefriend to the gardens and asked her to marry me. She agreed and we spent some quality time in front of the creature that nearly killed me. In the end, my victory was sweet and my revenge was petty.

Mister Cee's PoV

'Damn, so her ancestor named me and is the reason I had to give Theresa The Talk... fuck. Should I be upset she was even born?' I thought after she told us about her great great ridiculously many great's grandfather. While thoughts of beating a long dead horse fought with my morales, Theresa was busy explaining how we were under a geas and were forced to do those things back then. She even apologized for my candy-fying of the playground, translating what I did.

"So, other than the sugar filled sandbox, pretty much everything just has a candy coating?" Cheerilee asked, keeping an eye on me while she and Theresa talked.

"Yep, so all you have to do is order about three hundred pounds of sand and call Pinkie Pie over to help out." Theresa replied, I merely smiled from my position a few yards away, enough distance to give the poor mare some breathing room yet not so far away that I couldn't crush her skull in an instant if need be.

'Gentle thoughts, Charlie. Gentle thoughts.' I mentally told myself off, 'No need to fight at the moment, you know this, it's just the Adam in you. I really shouldn't have done all of those drugs at once, but how else was I going to get them out of there, it's not like there's a Gene Machine around here anyway.' When that still didn't wipe the mental imagine of her and her ancestor spinning on my drills away, I switched to a mantra. 'Cool as ice, clear as water. Clear as ice, cool as water.' I repeated the two simple yet effective lines over and over as they talked, I knew why the thoughts of violence were easily summoned at the slightest transgression or provocation. I had already ODed twice compared to what splicers went through.

Thankfully, the violent desires were banished by the simple words.

...so far.

Looking up, I noticed that Cheerilee was gone, Theresa looked excited and nervous; drumming her fingers on her needle and tapping her foot, clear signs of worry that I could read through my fist.

"*Where's the teacher?*" With a small jump at my question, she gave me a half hearted glare from her glowing, pale yellow eyes before replying.

"Preparing the class for the end of the school day, what with all of this chaos around no one is able to focus on school. The Crusaders will be going back to the farm with us and we'll find out just what Granny Smith is going to give us. I hope it's something tasty." Licking her lips, I turned towards the playground and took in my handy dandy candy work.

"*Maybe, I hope she has hard cider.*" Looking back at Theresa, I saw her with a shit eating grin, "*What? What did I say?*"

"Soooo~ you want a taste of Applejack?" She grinned at my unseen confused expression, she has a good enough imagination though. However it took me a moment to understand what she said and what she said.

"*Wait, they named a kids show character after hard liquor. ¿qué coño? Who named her that, a Canadian with a sense of humor?*" Giving a unseen shudder at the very idea, I smacked her, slipping into my old manner of speaking from about five years before we were displaced, back when I was a Corredor, "*Mi única familia es un pervertido. Get your mind outta the gutter, your dad raised a country girl, not some niño de mente sucia.*" Okay, that was a bit exaggerated, but pretty damn close. My written spanish may have been flunking, but my spanish cursing was always grade A.

"My ass is just just as Texan as yours so don't even try that switching tongues on me, besides you're the guy that taught me and a bunch of sentient statues how to rap and represent. Why can't I have a laugh at your expense?" She asked.

"*Yeah and it was fun having rap battles with the other statues every fifty years, too bad most of them didn't understand what rap is,*" Putting a hand to my helmet, I tried to get her to understand, "*I told you that you're not allowed to say stuff like that, you need to act your age.*"

"I'm a thousand and thirteen years old, why should I act like I'm still eight and that's the keyword, 'act' my age? Why should I be the sweet, innocent one while you get to be the rude, crude killing machine that only I can understand?"

Shaking my head, I responded with the adult classic, "*Because I said so, you look eight, your mental chemistry is of a eight year old and you're my niece, I remember all the fun we had back when I lived with Ryder, Codey, you and your sisters and I prefer that to being stoned against my will anyday. If you play the I'm only eight card, you might get a free pass but if Celestia hears you cursing up a storm my father would blush at, she's not going to see a cute little kid, she's just gonna see a hungry blood sucker.*" I sighed before preparing to continue my rant, but I was interrupted by Cheerilee releasing the class for the day.

"Come on, let's go meet the Crusaders, we'll continue this later." Grabbing my hand, she brought me over towards the class that was attacking my candy-fied playground.

A few minutes later, Theresa was quickly making some new friends on our way to the farm, the roads were soap but a quick chaos Plasmid later gave my boots a chaos dispelling effect so I could walk without busting my ass, pity I didn't think of doing that earlier but it broke the ice for Theresa and the Crusaders. They were ice skating the whole way there, or was it soap skating? Either way they were having fun and it brought a smile to my face.

When we made it to the farm, I thought we were being greeted by the family dog, until I looked over and saw a big, red and barking stallion running towards us.

"Big Mac! What's gotten into ya? No, down big brother, down!" Applebloom yelled as she was bowled over and immediately received a tongue to the face a few dozen times from her panting brother. I was tempted to leave him like that for a while, it seemed safer to have him acting like a smaller, pony version of Clifford but I threw that idea out after he started trying to sniff Theresa's butt.

"*That's just wrong, on sooooo many levels.*" I groaned, snapping my fingers through my gloves returned him to his senses... still muzzle deep in Theresa's dress. I watched as the realization hit him and smiled. He quickly backed out of his compromising position and bumped into my legs.

Looking up slowly, he was met with my unwavering glare hidden behind what I assume to be plexiglass or at least reinforced glass. Even though he couldn't see my unamused expression, he seemed to understand. Standing up, he walked away and stood next to his sister behind turning his gaze from me to Theresa.

"Sorry about that, ah truly am." Turning to Applebloom, he asked her, "Who, and what, are your friends Applebloom?"

Smiling at her brother, Applebloom gestured to Theresa and me and introduced us, "This here's Theresa, she's called ah human and ah Gatherer, that there is Mistah Cee, he's her uncle but he's ah Protector. Granny Smith sent 'em ta pick me up from school and Mistah Cee gave the playground a candy coating, he can make this chaotic stuff jus' up and disappear."

Looking up at me, he looked at the rather large patches of dirt from where I had stepped, the soap bubbles dissolving as they come within a unmarked barrier.

"Ah don't suppose you could do that trick one last time? Granny Smith is tap dancing over by the farmhouse." He asked, I responded with a nod of my helmeted head.

He led us to his grandmother, who was tap dancing like a boss. I couldn't even see her legs, they were just a blur as she seamlessly switched from quadruple to bipedal, all the while she was twirling a cane. A quick snap of my fingers and she stopped for a moment before continuing.

"I thought you were gonna de-Discord her?" Theresa asked.

Granny Smith just laughed, "He did, but this is the most fun I've had in years!" With a flick of her wrist/fetlock, the cane flew over to the house and landed next to the wall, leaning on it. "Good job with the farm youngins, everything's back ta normal, or as normal as living in Ponyville can get. Thanks fer picking Applebloom up from school, too. Now, yer prob'bly be wanting the reward I'd promised ya? Wait here a tic."

We were waiting for a few minutes, Theresa played tag with the Crusaders while Big Mac and I stood in comfortable silence watching them. When Granny Smith came out, she had a small canvas bag, a few plates and a pie balanced on her back.

While Theresa and the Crusaders attacked the pie, I opened the bag and stared, Granny Smith simply smiled at the young fillies and Theresa making a mess before turning to me and saying, "Ah don't know what those things are, what with only keeping an eye out for farm tools whenever they come up with a new one, but you seemed like you would be able ta put them ta whatever their purpose is. Ah found 'em a few days ago while walking around the farm and thought Ah'd ask one o' Applejacks friends but plum forgot about it every time Ah'd see one o' 'em."

Pulling one of the items in the bag out, I looked at the object in my hand. A gold plated, lacking its trigger guard, nine by nineteen millimeter, artillery model Luger P08 handgun that looked exactly like the one, if it wasn't the one, from the opening video of Bioshock two. In the bag were four extra eight round, nickel plated magazines, all of them filled with generic ammunition.

"*Theresa,*" I groaned, "*Come over here please.*"

"What is it?" She asked.

"*Just come over here.*" I simply replied, a smile on my lips.

"Okay, but it better be important, that apple pie is... Whoa." She stared at the handgun I was holding, "Where did you get this?"

Granny Smith smiled and told her what she told me, when she was done I handed the Luger to Theresa, "*Here, this is for one thousand and six missed Christmas' and birthdays.*"

"Awesome." She breathed as she looked her new gun over, "So my ex drug runner uncle is giving me a pimped out pistol? I feel like that's the set-up to a bad joke."

I chuckled, "*Maybe, but it's a lot better looking than that old seventeen HMR your dad got you when you turned five.*"

"Hey! I was a beast with that old relic!" She replied proudly as she took the time to learn the unfamiliar mechanisms. "Not a bullseye I couldn't hit or at least skim, and I always had to sight it in myself."

"*Yeah well, consider yourself allowed to act thirteen, you're smart enough to know when, who and where to play the innocent child card, and you always were twice as good with your old rifle than I ever was with my fancy Stoeger turkey gun.*" I watched her smile widen at that.

After putting her new gun and it's extra magazines in the bag-O-blood, she jumped up and gave me a flying hug yelling, "Thank you, thank you, thank you!" While the Crusaders and Big Mac watched with happy, though also slightly confused, faces, Granny Smith looked like the only one who didn't look confused.

After a few minutes of Theresa talking with the Crusaders, she washed up and we said goodbye. Well, Theresa said goodbye and I just waved before we headed into Ponyville.