Between a Rock and A Nice Place

My 24th birthday... my 24th year on Earth, it was fun, I'll grant, but I could actually enjoy the night seeing as I wasn't nearly as wasted as my friends who were currently passed out in my car as we drove to a job.

Everyone else had already gone home via taxi or, god help them who did, walked.

You are only young once, but you can be immature for a lifetime, right? Well that was true to the two knobheads asleep in the back of my new car, luckily asleep and not puking... yet.

I turned into the parking lot in the car they got me for my birthday, they gave it to me a few days ago though, a Cadillac Ciel 4-door Convertible. (IRL it was a Ford Fiesta)

"Right guys, up." I said as I looked to the seats behind me and tapped it, waking the drunks up.

"Huh? oh ok, come on Jonner."(it is said: John-er or John-a, a as in apple) said Lee, he was a slightly chubby guy, but not full on fat, one of my best friends.

We got out the car. This is me explaining why I carry a gun on me for the story. It'd be weird to just carry a gun for no reason in Britain, wouldn't it?

"Joe? 'Ere lad." Said Jonner and threw me the bag... I hadn't known him for more than 4 years but he was now another one of my best friends, Jonner was a bodybuilder mostly, and standing 0'5 inches more than me came in at 6'7.

"Lee lad, stay 'ere and look after the car." I said.

"Roger that sir." He said sarcastically.

"Sup' lads?" Came the voice of another good friend.

"Will, lad. You alright?" I asked.

"Yeah, sound lad, it's shit innit?" He asked.

"Yeah lad." I replied.

"You know I don't want ya doin' this lad." He said.

"It's money though innit?" I asked.

"I know. Right lad, you got your stuff?" He asked. I pulled out my silenced AMT Automag V.

"Snuck this from the armory before I left lad." I smiled.

"Right, come on. Ballies on lads." Said Will. We put our balaclavas on.

We walked into an alleyway from the street we were on. There they were.

"Look who showed up." Said the leader.

"Cut the shit lad. We doin' this or what?" Asked Will.

"Fine lad. E' are." He said and passed me a duffel bag while I passed him ours.

"It's all good lad." I said.

"Fuckin' shut up unless you wanna get a fuckin' bullet." Said the leader, holding a gun in one hand, pointing at my face while holding the bag in the other.

"You wanna fuckin' go?!" I asked, going up to him. We both smiled behind our masks.

"Nah you're sound J lad." Said Leo, the guy we were doing business with. We were friends, but it was his gang we didn't trust.

"Stuff's sound. Joe, you clean up, Leo. Let's talk lad." Said Will.

"Lad, I need a smoke." Said Jonner.

"Go 'ead lad." I nodded. He went out the ally for a smoke...

"Right lads. The coke's good." Nodded Leo, they all left.

We headed back to the car.

;2 hours later;

I dropped the two idiots off at their house.

"Sure you don't wanna come in Joe? we've got room." Said Lee.

"I'm sure, I'll head to Marl's, he only lives 3 miles away." I said, I had brought a bag of clothes, food and other things in anticipation of this exact situation occurring, well my family insisted I bring it everywhere to be prepared for anything, why? you'll see in 3 lines.

"Ok, see ya Joe." said Lee and they waved, I got out and lit a cigarette as they entered the house...

;5 minutes later;

I threw the stump down, stepped on it, twisted my foot and turned, to reveal two guys in hoodies.

"Hey, you got any money?" asked one kid.

"Yeah, I'm minted." I replied sarcastically.

"You're still gonna give me your money." said the kid and held a knife toward me.

"Am I?" I asked.

"Yeah."

"Or what?" I asked.

"Or this!" yelled the kid and lunged, I moved to the side and grabbed his arm and twisted, and I broke it, he yelled out and I delivered an uppercut to his chin.

He went down and his friend slashed my stomach, luckily I managed to jump backwards to avoid a deep cut. I got my gun out and shot him point blank in the stomach.

I got into my car and chuckled as I backed out of their driveway and drove down the road, I wouldn't go down without a fight.

"Fuckin' amateurs..." I laughed. I had been a coke dealer's bodyguard before my career in the military. They were just thugs.

Me? I was an 24 year old man, I did weights, I was quite muscular due to my military job, and at 6'2 I was quite tall, I wasn't the best looking guy, I had a few spots on my face, which were disappearing gradually luckily.

My reasons for choosing military service? Other than possible death? My grandad was in the military, the Royal Marines on fact, very different to the army, much more grueling, I was earning my green beret soon. My dad was in the M.O.D, Ministry of Defence, my grandad's brother was marine lightweight champion at one time, military record throughout.

Back to the journey, there were trees surrounding me on all sides, nature providing tranquility and peace for my journey, I basked in it for a while.

If you're wondering why I wasn't bothered about the cut... Well, in the Marines your squad strip you down and tie barbed wire to your body. Move an inch... Ouch. That increased your pain tolerance massively...

Eventually I was getting on the M58 motorway out of Old Skelmersdale, which was oddly empty, usually there are at least one or two cars going past.

I had a yellow shirt on, with black jeans and black shoes, I reached into my pocket and pulled out the bullet with my name carved into it.

I twiddled it in one of my fingers for a while before turning my CD's on.

"Hmm hmm hmm Marching Orders..." I softly sang while speeding down the motorway.

After that song I checked my SatNav.

Only a mile to Marl's left...

I put a more upbeat song on... two words...

Barbra Streisand...

Suddenly as I closed my eyes for a second, I saw bright lights heading toward me... odd seeing as I was in the right section of the motorway for where I was going... maybe an American driver? No, Americans aren't stupid, or at least THAT stupid. Kidding.

As I tried to avoid it, it seemed to follow my car... and was getting closer...

I was going to fast to suddenly stop, I'd see who it was...

As I got closer to it the light started to blind me.

"Figures..." I mumbled as I passed through the light into unconsciousness, hearing squealing tires and a crash moments later, just before I faded I saw a sharp piece of metal pierce my stomach...

...

"AH! wh- wha..." I yelled and mumbled as I woke back up at my wheel.

I looked down and saw myself bleeding, it looked as though something pierced my flesh but never got all the way through, looks like the car is fine, but I'm not!

It wasn't a slash... Something had pierced my torso while I was driving...

I opened my car door and went to the boot and got my pack out, taking my top off slowly yet still painfully.

"Fuck..." I groaned and opened the front zip, getting some bandages and stitching gear.

I first laid down, in my car with my top off, if there was internal damage I was fucked, I'd just have to stitch this up myself. Luckily they train you how to deal with your own wounds...

I got my gear ready and surveyed it for a second.

"Fuck... Thank God I know how to do this..." I said.

I poured disinfectant on my stomach, meriting a yelp from me, I put the bottle lid on and put it to the side, I had the needle through the thread and started digging the needle in.

"Ah... Shit..." I grumbled, if you made a sound louder than a mumble while patching, they kicked you. as I finished the stitching and was left panting and in dire pain.

I managed to get up shakily and get the bandages ready.

I wrapped it around my waist and the affected area, putting a few layers on.

"That'll have to do..." I decided, I realised I was stuck in a forest, walking would be easy, but I'd have to leave my car.

I grabbed my bag and got out my gray hoodie and trackies, putting them on and putting the bloody clothes in a separate place of the bag.

I got a tarpaulin out from the boot and covered the car up, locking it and taking the keys.

I started to limp away, following the beaten path.

I kept limping, hearing things all around me, I took in my surroundings, wow my grandad would to the Vulcan Death Hold on me if he knew I didn't already do this...(my grandad uses his two fingers and his thumb on the back of your neck and pinch, god it hurts...)

I looked around me and noticed the colouration looked... odd... familiar, but odd.

I was still my own colour, and looked out of place.

Eventually I came across... no... it wasn't... some kind of joke...

A cottage... similar to Fluttershy's from MLP...

(This was a little before I discovered FimFiction, so I wasn't suspicious.)

I went over to it and was about to go to the door when I looked behind me and saw the rabbit... err... Angel! that's right! he was running toward the cottage and I hid behind the wall, I instead headed to town after he entered.

I went to the White Tail woods I think they were called and got on a hill overlooking Ponyville.

I sat down to rest and heard trumpets play, also hearing a clock chime.

I saw the flying chariot overhead and almost had a panic attack, well I was correct, Equestria...

I looked up and saw Princess Celestia in her chariot, and my jaw almost dropped when I saw her... she was... beautifu- err Goddess-like, ahem, these are ponies damnit!

I looked and saw my bandages weren't dirtied yet, no blood had leaked through.

But I was still in pain.

I decided to go and introduce myself, what better time than when the Princess was there?

I got up and headed to the edge of the woods, suddenly, I felt dizzy and slumped against a tree, managing to get the bag off my shoulder and put it down at my side.

"I..." I started to try to say something before passing out.