And Your History is a Pony Brothel
Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go, it's pretty damn good.
~Woody Allen
You reach into your back pocket for the keys to your house before unlocking the front door. The thick paper bag of groceries in your arm teeters precariously as you jam the thin sliver of metal into the keyhole, just barely managing not to spill the bag's entire contents on the ground. The door creaks open and you manage to finagle your way inside.
"Honey, I'm home!" you say to nobody in particular. While most people would find that odd, you find it a bit comforting to be able to at least say that, even if there isn't some hot babe waiting for you with a small herd of little bastards to call your own. A man can dream, right?
You're just setting the bag of groceries on the kitchen counter when you hear a gasp coming from your bedroom.
"Hello?" you ask, carefully reaching for the nearby kitchen knife. "Is anyone home?"
The sound of sheet covers shuffling and a door slamming shut is answer enough. You rush towards bedroom door, throwing it open to spot whoever had dared break into your house.
"Alright! Come on out, you sleazy motherfucker!" you holler. You jump around like an ape, hoping that your actions would somehow make the perpetrator wet his pants. A small chuckle comes from the nearby closet, and you jump towards it, throwing the door open with your knife held high. Whoever it was would be very so- wait, what?!
"Please don't kill me!"
You stare down at a certain cyan pegasus, her wingtips covering her face protectively. It's right about that moment that your brain decides to cash in on the long accumulated vacation days it'd been saving up. The knife clatters to the ground.
"That's not possible!" you say, stumbling back in shock. "You're not possible!"
The pegasus rolled her eyes. "Neither are you, but you don't see me complaining."
"Well yeah, but everyone knows humans exist. You're a cartoon! A myth!"
The mare huffs, crossing her forelegs. "I'll have you know that humans are a myth where I come from. I'm a pegasus, and we're the real species here."
"Oh yeah?"
"Yeah!"
"No you're not. You're just a pegasus from a kid's cartoon that I try and watch with no small amount of shame." You boop her on the nose. "I'm a real human being with psychotic breakdown and a strong need for some good medication."
"No! I'm real and you know it!"
"No you're not."
"Yes, I am!"
You smirk. "Well then, miss I'm-a-real-pegasus, I have just one question."
"Yes?"
"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING IN MY ROOM?!"
She gasps, ducking under the pile of smelly clothes you'd allow to fester in your closet. "I'm sorry!" you hear coming from the pile. "It was an accident, I swear!"
You take a deep breath, realizing that you'd just terrified something that weighs, at most, about a third of what you do. You can see your father glaring down at you, unimpressed and not the least bit amused.
"It's...it's alright. I didn't mean to yell at you." You reach down and gently lift some of the clothes. A terrified looking pegasus stares up at you. "I'm not going to hurt you, you don't need to be scared."
That seems to trigger something in her. She glares up at you, her rose eyes taking a deeper red glint. "Scared?! I'm not scared! I'm never scared!" She hops out of the pile, jumping over your head to stand on your bed, striking a heroic pose. "I'm the Rainbow Dash! Nopony scares me!"
"Riiiight," you say. "That still doesn't answer my question. What're you doing here?"
"Oh that?" Rainbow Dash asks, hopping down to sit splayed out on your bed before reaching for your laptop. "I was just looking through your porn archive. I don't know how you got ahold of all those awesome pictures of me, but it's really cool!"
If you had any liquid in your mouth, you'd probably be spitting it out right about now. You rush over to her side, looking over her shoulder at the computer screen. Sure enough, there are dozens of pics spread out of Rainbow Dash in various sexual poses. One in particular's been zoomed in on; a picture of Rainbow Dash with her hoof arm deep in her dripping cunt.
"Uh..."
If your brain had previously been on a vacation, it's just decided to sign up for a permanent trip to Mars. Here you are with a mare you've been fapping to far more times than you'd care to count, and here she is enjoying all of the same porn you do. What're the odds? Well, if you can't beat 'em...
"So which one's your favorite?" you ask, settling down next to the hot mare.
"Well, there's this one where I saw myself getting rutted by Twilight's brother. I know Twilight wouldn't be too happy about that, but I know Cadance well enough that she'd probably say yes if I asked." Rainbow scrolls down the screen, thumbing through all of Derpibooru's finest. She pauses on a few before finally settling on one.
"Oh, that's hot!" Rainbow nearly squeals in delight. "A threesome with the Wonderbolts? That'd be awesome!"
"There are a lot of those, actually," you say, smirking. "There's even one where you, Spitfire, and Fleetfoot all work together to see who can make Soarin cum the fastest."
You swear you can see Rainbow Dash practically vibrating. She looks up at you with big eyes. "Where is it?!" she asks breathily.
"I think I have it saved somewhere." You scoot closer to her, letting your fingers do the magic as you look up that old pic you had saved in your favorite section. It takes you a minute, but before long you have the pic up and ready. "There you go!"
"Thanks!" Rainbow smiles before looking at the picture you'd pulled up. "Wow, that's, um, really hot." You can see a deep blush spreading over her face, and you can feel her flank rubbing up against your side. Is she?
"Do you want me to-"
"Yes!" she practically shouts. "Please, I need this!"
You smile in response before scooting back behind her. She lifts her tail, letting you get a perfectly good view of her vulva.
"Wow, you're really turned on by this," you comment.
"Well duh!" she says. "It's the Wonderbolts, what do you expect?"
You reach your hand forward and trace a finger along the slit, feeling the warm wet of her arousal. She shivers a little, and you can't help but smell the sweet scent of sex emanating from her marehood.
"Ooooh, that's nice!" she coos, looking over her shoulder at you. "You like what you see?"
"A lot," you say, reaching down to your pant's zipper. "Mind if I take care of myself while we're at it?"
Rainbow chuckles. "A man who loves my body? There'd be something wrong if you didn't. Go nuts!"
You unzip your fly, letting your painfully erect cock splay out for the world to see. Your hands reach down for it as you move your mouth to take care of your...guest.
"Ah!" she gasps as your tongue makes first contact. You start from the bottom of her slit, slowly dragging it up the length of her pussy before starting over. She shoves her flank into your face, trying to force your tongue deeper in.
"Mmm, Soain!" She moans, her ass vibrating as she stares at the computer screen. You keep licking, trying to lap up all of the juices she's been leaking, trying not to miss a single drop. Your right hand wraps around your cock. For the first time in what felt like ages, you're not the the only one getting off in the same room.
You groan into her vagina, your hand picking up pace as your cock throbs. You can hear Rainbow getting more and more animated as she cries out the names of just about every Wonderbolt you'd ever heard of. You feel yourself getting close, that twitching feeling that tells you you're about to spray white hot cum all over the floor making its presence known.
"Spitfire, I- AHH!"
Rainbow sprays warm lady cum all over your face, the thick, viscous liquid smelling a bit different than it does with human women. She humps your face, thrusting forward to stuff your tongue as far into her folds as she can, moaning all the while. You can't take it anymore; you can feel your own warm cum running down your hand as you ejaculate all over the side of your bed.
"W-wow," Rainbow says, flopping down lazily on top of your bed sheets. "That was something."
"Yeah," you say, hopping up next to her. You don't even bother trying to clean up after yourself. You can take care of that later, you suppose.
"Did we really just-"
"We did," you agree. You smile at her. "And I enjoyed it."
She smiles at you, a warm afterglow on her face. At that moment, she's the most beautiful thing you've ever seen, a blue winged angel with those strange, rose colored eyes. And here she was, wanting you to lick her off while she stares at the same porn you like.
"We should do that again," she says.
You stare down at your hardening dick. Ready again so soon? Not that you'd complain.
"We should," you respond. Rainbow jumps on top of you, and the world turns into a menagerie of sex and moans.
You wouldn't have it any other way.
The End
