Chapters Trilogy of Tears (+ Bonus part)
Author's Note
English isn't my native language... so if you find any errors, I hope that you notify it to me.
Tears of the Moon
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry...
For many times that I say "I'm sorry" it never seems to be enough, but...
What else can I say? What else can I do? I can only ask for forgiveness again and again for all whom I hurted... Especially to you, sister, because I know the terrible decision that you had to take and how much it hurted you.
When everything began? When does Nightmare Moon begin to be created? I couldn't say... I guess it was always a part of me, this dark side that all we have. Although sometimes it's becoming stronger with each accumulated rancor, with each silent reproach... until it becomes too big and has to go outside.
I should have spoken with you, sister, instead of keeping silent about these small reproaches and rancors that did not disappear, but they were accumulating into that dark hole in wich I fell.
There where moments in which I blamed you... even I hated you for exiling me to the moon... but now I understand that you had no choice, that I didn't leave you another option.
Because I haven't told it to you yet, but, during my exile there were moments where I went back to my being and I realized everything I had done, of what I had almost done... I could have killed you and I never would have forgiven myself...
In those moments I was glad about my exile, since this way I couldn't hurt anypony... but I missed you horribly, I wished that you were beside me, that you hug me and tell me that everything was OK... like when as a filly I had a bad dream and you were comforting me.
In those moments in which I felt so lonely it was easier to blame you for not being by my side that remember my own mistakes... and Nigthmare Moon was becoming more and more stronger, until she could break the force that kept us there.
Even though Nightmare Moon has absolute control, a part of me was aware of all that was happening and tried to stop it... but without success... it was like being trapped inside a bad dream, withoug being able to intervene, only looking... Nigthmare Moon was simply too strong.
And then Twilight and her friends came, the Bearers of the Elements of Harmony... and I could sense the terror of Nightmare Moon facing the idea of disappearing... and, Oh! how I wanted that she disappeared and I could return to your side.
And then it happened... Nigthmare Moon disappeared... and I just couldn't look at your face, so ashamed that I felt. And then you asked me to come back to your side and I only could cry and run to you, telling you how much that I regretted it.
I know that you have forgiven me and that the rest of the ponies are also beginning to accept me... but I suppose that I still have to forgive myself. Frankly, I don't know if someday I will be able to do it.
So, until that day, in which I will be able to finally forgive myself, I will continue coming to this place every night, I will think about what I did, for more tears than these toughts bring to my eyes and I will keep repeating this words to myself:
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry...
Trilogy of Tears (+ Bonus part)
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry...
For many times that I say "I'm sorry" it never seems to be enough, but...
What else can I say? What else can I do? I can only ask for forgiveness again and again for all whom I hurted... Especially to you, sister, because I give you no chance... I took all from you, your family, your friends... and now you see that everything you knew, except me, has turned to dust...
When everything began? When does Nightmare Moon begin to be created? I couldn´t say... and although it was a part of you, this dark side that all we have, it became more and more stronger with each accumulated rancor, with each reproach that you remained silent... I should have realized before it became too big.
I should have spoken with you, sister, placate those reproaches and rancors rather than ignore them... so it would not have been accumulated to become that darkness that engulfed you completely.
I know that you blamed me for a long time... surely that you even hated me... but you need to undestand that at that time I didn't have another option... my negligence made that I another choice.
Because I haven't told it to you yet, but, durint your exile, there were moments where the pain and grief were so large that I even wished that you had killed me, so I would not have to suffer... The hardest thing I've done in my life, sister, is to bring the night and day without you by my side.
In those moments, in which I missed you so much, I wished that you were by my side, nestled next to me, like when as a filly you had a bad dream and came to me looking for comfort.
I know that all this hate that was accumulating during your exile was responsible of breaking the spell that held you there... but believe me however much you will blame and hate me, I blame and hate myself even more.
And you must know that I don't blame you... I'm sure that although Nightmare Moon was much stronger, you did all that you could for stopping her.
And then Twilight and her friends came, the Bearers of the Elements of Harmony... and, Oh! how I wanted that nightmare to fade and you'll return by my side.
And then it happened... Nightmare Moon disappeared... and I couldn't stop looking at you... there you were, as I had not seen you in a long time. And then, barely containing tears, I asked you to return with me and you cried and ran to me, telling me how much you regretted it. And I could not retain my tears anymore.
I know that you have forgiven me, my dear sister, but I still have to forgive myself. And, frankly, I don't know if someday I will be able to do it.
So, until that day, in which I will be able finally to forgive myself, I will continue coming to this place every dawn, I will think about what I did, for more tears than these toughts bring to my eyes and I will keep repeating this words to myself:
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry...
Trilogy of Tears (+ Bonus part)
Tears of Sorrow (Bonus part)
Author's Note
I include this bonus part here because it's too short to publish it independently... also, I think that it fits into the story.
Tears of Sorrow (Bonus part)
"Hello, Fluttershy, I hope you like the place I had chosen... after all it was your favourite every time we went on a picnic.
I spent some time with Twilight yesterday... She has had a hard time too, having to say goodbye to so many friends. Time sweeped them one by one... only you remained with us, Fluttershy, and now you are gone too.
I feared that this day was coming too, and I wanted to do something... but even the Master of Chaos has its limitations, not even me can stop the inevitable."
Discord had to pause, the pain was too great. He closed his eyes in sorrow, tears sliding down his cheeks. He put a hand on the cold stone, needing that contact with his friend.
"But I'll go on for you, my friend. I'll continue helping others, like you taught me, and reminding you. Because Twilight told me something: she said that as long as we are reminded, we never die.
In that case you will live forever, Fluttershy, because I'll never forget you."
Trilogy of Tears (+ Bonus part)
We had been so distantly lately... I can't believe that I didn't realize the sorrow that my sister was crossing.
We meet by chance, each of us was returning from the place that we had chosen to give free rein to our sadness.
We chose a random cloud which floated over the sea, and we sat down to speak.
We talked for ours, each one expressing our most hidden thoughts, our regret, our guilt...
We were surprised of how similar that had been our thoughts these past few days... we that always were like day and night, even before getting our cutie marks.
Both of us came to the conclusion that we had forgiven each other but, we still had the most difficult thing... forgive ourselves.
It's good to know that I can count on all the support of my sister, I'm sure that I couldn't do that alone, but I know that she will help me, I will help her... we will succeed togheter.
But, even son, I can not prevent the question from escaping of my lips...
"Can you forgive me?"
And she responds to my question with her own:
"And you, can you forgive me?"
And the two of us answer each other, at the same time:
"Only if you forgive me"
"I forgive you"
I knew that she had forgiven me, but hearing her say it, saying it myself... I feel that a weight which oppressed my heart has faded.
I think that yes, I can forgive myself... for her, I'm going to try it with all my strength.