Gods of a Different Kind

Party Hard

        "SURPRISE"

        Ok... I was not expecting this.

        I saw a banner hung from one end of the room to another "Welcome to Pinkie Pies Super awesome party with a god from a different dimension that saved our town from monsters and" the rest was far to small to read, likely from Pinkie running out of room, and didn't bother to get a new banner. Yup sounds like Pinkie.

        "Alright then" I said matter o' factory, my voice croaking a bit from my recent surgery "lets party"

        "YAAAAY"

        ***

        Alright, I didn't know Pinkie had spiked the drinks. It is not my fault ok?  How was I supposed to know a world filled with innocent adorable ponys had alcohol. It isn't like there is a handbook anywhere. Well, the alcohol has numbed my throbbing throat. That is a plus. Although I am drunk out of my mind. Huh, seems I don't get drunk like most people, I can think perfectly well.

        It was at this point a table came out of no where to sabotage my good name. I fell head over ass over that damn table. I gave the table a frosty stare on my way up. I WILL have revenge...

        "Wow, you are SOOOO drunk"

        "No you're drunk, I'm fi-fine"

        "Nuh uh, I am 20% more fine then... uhhh"

        "Yeah... yeah...."

        Man these ponys are too cute when they are wasted, I really need a camera for this, even though my culture never invented one doesn't mean I can't "Borrow" one from another realm. Although I don't have enough strength to go somewhere else, I would have to sacrifice a lot of people for that. Something I am a bit against.

        I tripped again, what was it this time? Oh nuh uh... that table. This thing was definitely on my "shit list" I came up with that in the last two seconds, I think it is a pure stroke of genius.

        Pinkie appeared beside me, Don't ask how ok? Physics be damned.

        "Are you having fuuuuun?"

        That sounded very creepy, like 'I'm going to kill you when you sleep' creepy. It might be my drunk mind failing to comprehend what she said but I swear I saw her lips moving with no sound. Coooooool.

        Taking this new discovery to heart I tried to find a way to use this new super power. What can I do when I can't hear anything? I know, do something I shouldn't then say 'I didn't hear you' when they tell me to stop. It is PERFECT. I'm sure this will have no negative repercussions of any kind said the small part of brain that could still think.

        ***

        I had successfully navigated the difficult process of removing my armor while stone cold drunk. I set it all up against a nearby wall, I then proceeded to take off my scale leggings... then my underwear. The rational side screamed at me for being a complete and total dumbass but I was too drunk to care. I don't really remember what happened next...

        ***

        "Owwwww..." I awoke with the king of all hangovers. Oh no... I got drunk didn't I. Looking over myself I saw that I had no clothes... yup I got drunk. This is not the first time it has happened... just the first time with mortals involved.

        I hope I didn't cause to much destruction...

        I looked across the now ruined shop. I can't believe Pinkie was able to convince the Cakes to let her do this. Do her partys normally get this our of whack... although that crappy imitation of a banana drawn on the wall looks a lot like my work. And that table, and that fishbowl. Wait where did I get a fishbowl? Is that a cougar in the corner? Oh man it is... this is just like that time two thousand years ago when I went partying with the god of indulgence. Can't remember his name, I always ended up drunk around him.

        Ok. ok calm down. I'm sure this is not as bad as it seems. I'm sure there is a perfectly logical reason for all of this... who am I kidding? I just got wasted and decided to be Pinkie with the whole "screw physics" thing.

        "What happened" said an unknown figure under a pile of ponys, seems EVERYONE got drunk. Alright... explain it calmly...

        "We had a crazy party, ruined Sugar Cube corner, painted a banana on the wall, got a fishbowl, and brought a cougar into this store." ok, that was all probably me, but hey hopefully no one will remember last night.

        ***

        Oh no they all remembered. It was hard to explain to them my insistent reaction to getting drunk, not remembering what I have done. They didn't buy it

        "Oh so yer' tellin' me you don't remeber bringin' a cougar into Sugar Cube corner?"

        "Nope"

        "Or that you smashed a table in with your face? That was pretty cool by the way"

        "Nope"

        "Or that you painted a banana on the wall"

        "Nope, nothing"

        "How did you even get a cougar into Sugar Cube corner without anyone dying?"

        "I have absolutely no idea, I have theory though. Drunken. Magic."

        Ok that sounded a lot smarter in my head.

        I heard many groans from the accusing elements of harmony. Wait, I am commander of an entire army, I don't have to stand for this.

        "Umm... is there any more alcohol?" I could fix this later, right now I needed something for this headache.

        "Don't you think you have had enough?"

        "I only need enough to get rid of this hangover"

        "That is stupid"

        Idiots, don't they know how hangovers work? You take more alcohol to counter act the very large amount of dead brain cells, that way you get more living brain cells... that doesn't sound right. I think I should lay off the booze, I must still be drunk. Man this sucks. I feel like a child being told what to do and what not to by their parents. I am a god for my sake.

        Just a very drunken god...