Chrono

“Our personal existence is but a projection of our mind and how we perceive everything else.”

Outside in the city of Hoofington the morning sun crept up all too fast. The large, rural village sluggishly came to life; early morning vendors readied their shops or street side stands, and workers headed to their places of business. As the morning dredged on the bulk of the crowds in the streets turned from workers to mostly shoppers. The market district didn’t exactly contain the most classy neighborhoods, but it was by far the most densely populated area during the day. Shoppers strolled through looking for this and that as the clerk ponies attempted to entice customers into buying their merchandise.
As the sun came to dominate the room, I knew I could wrestle sleep from its grasp no longer, so I slowly rolled out of bed yawning. I stretch my back and legs before heading into the bathroom. It’d been a little over three weeks since I had actually slept in a bed, or had a proper bathroom, so the whole experience was very relaxing and enjoyable. After a long soak in the tub which, regrettably, I was forced to cut short due to a certain problem waiting for me outside that I needed to deal with, I glanced into the mirror at myself. My usually long and unkempt jet black mane now clung to my neck, causing my light grey-white coat to appear completely white in stark contrast. Also in contrast with my light coat was the cutie mark residing on my flank. It was a simple leaf. One small, green, healthy looking leaf. Many people misunderstood my cutie mark, and I’m not sure I completely understood it myself. All I know is that the only times I could find complete mental peace were when I wasn’t around society, constantly distracted.

Using some magic, I levitated a small towel over and set to the process of attacking my mane till it was dry. I’d never been very talented with magic, but I could perform the basics such as levitation. After a good few minutes and a job well done, I removed the towel and found myself looking into my own light blue eyes in the mirror. I’d always found it easy to blend in with my less-than-vibrant colors. After a long moment I sighed, closed them, and started towards the door. As I exited the bathroom and walked into my room my eyes fell onto the bed of the hotel room, which I had not had the chance to enjoy the previous night due to the mare currently resting on it. At this sight, the previous night’s events all came rushing into my mind.

I had arrived in Hoofington after a particularly long journey, totaling a little over three weeks, and had gotten a room at a hotel. I had gone for a drink or two at the bar before I retired to my bed, and once I had arrived I sat down on the far end of the counter alone. I drank in silence until, after a few minutes, a particularly intoxicated mare sat (or rather fell) onto the seat next to me. She had a deep blue coat, and a disheveled white mane with a blue streak down the middle. Her cutie mark looked like a wand with a star tip and a blue aura to the side, but I only glanced at it briefly. I ignored her, and to my satisfaction she appeared to accept my kind yet blunt rejection of talking to her.
“The Great and Powerful Trixshie Demands that you,” she said as she somehow managed to point a hoof at me without falling off her stool, “buy her a drink.”
A few responses ran through my head all at once. “If you’re so great and powerful then why don’t you do it yourself?” But I was far to tired to deal with an insulted, angry, intoxicated mare right then. “Well, ‘The Great and Powerful Trixie,’ I demand that you buck off.” But I denied this one too; no reason to be mean to a mare that’s done nothing wrong to me. “You’re already drunk enough.” No again. That was the correct response but the tone would never do for this type of mare, especially in her current state.
“Well,” I said calmly, “I would, but you seem like you’ve had enough as is.”
“Don’t you EVER” she said, almost yelling as she prodded my ribs with her hoof, “Tell Tri-.. The Great and Powerful Trixshie that she can’t handle something!”
I sighed, looked up at her, and saw a delirious yet angrily determined look in her eyes that caused me to chuckle lightly. I knew this type of mare, and I knew exactly what to do.
“Yes Ma’am.” I said, unable to keep all the sarcasm completely out of my voice. I waved the barkeep over and, leaning in to him, whispered, “I'll take some seltzer water, but please put it in a mug.”
He gave me a curious glace, but I just hoofed him over two bits for the drink. As he delivered the drink, Trixie grasped it in her magic, and I pretended she was too fast I couldn’t stop her as she chugged the whole mug before putting on a victorious smirk and saying
“Once again The Great and Powerful Trixie has proven herself, to be the most amazing.. -hic- unicorn in ALL.. of Equestria. Was there.. ever.. any...” but she never finished what she was saying as she had promptly fallen asleep leaning against the bar.
“Well,” I thought to myself, “I can’t just leave her here.”
I had finished drinking for the night so I slowly slung her over my back and proceeded to walk towards the exit. On my way out I heard several fellow patrons, upon seeing my predicament, whistle and holler at me. I just grimaced and cantered out of the bar and back to my hotel room. I was tired so I hastily threw together a small bed on the floor for her to sleep on. “Sorry Trixie, but the real bed is definitely mine.” I said to no one in particular as I laid her down on the makeshift bed. I looked at her once more before sighing and walking outside to get her some water.

I lived, very strictly, by a few small rules. One of the most major ones was (I’m sure you’ve all heard it), “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” I knew that if I was passed out drunk, I would want someone to give me water to dull the hang over the next day. As I returned to my room with two large cups of water in my magic I found Trixie, as she called herself, was sprawled out on my bed, asleep. I took a deep breath, slowly rubbing the bridge of my snout as I breathed out. My annoyance dulled as I realised that I too would have wanted the bed if I was going to wake up with a hangover, so I decided to allow her to stay. Walking over to the bed and sitting on the edge I poked her side and quietly said “Trixie, wake up and drink this.”
“Ngghh..” she grumbled sleepily but, to my satisfaction, sat up and looked at me.
I levitated the mug closer to her and said “Drink this. It will help.”
She slowly took it from my magical grasp with her own and took a small drink before setting it down, and laying back down herself.
“No, Trixie,” I said, poking her again. “You have to drink it all.”
“The Great -hic- and Powerful Trixie doesn’t need your help.” she said as she closed her eyes. I’m not a mean pony at all, but I was tired, only trying to be helpful, and she was being ungrateful and insulting so I decided that I was done being gentle. Instead of poking her or trying to talk her into drinking the water I simply stood up, and pulled her off the bed with magic. I’m not sure if it was the impact with the floor or being levitated off the bed that woke her up but it did the trick quite well.
Now, for the sake of preserving a good image of ponies, I am going to say that Trixie definitely didn’t yell and spit vulgar insults at me for more than five minutes, and I definitely didn’t lose my temper and force her mouth shut with magic. What definitely happened though, was Trixie politely thanking me for the water, drinking it all completely willingly, and going back to sleep on the bed (definitely not on the floor where I’d have to levitate her to the bed).
With her finally asleep, I slowly walked over to my saddle bags and pulled out my special blanket. I was about to lay down to bed and try to sleep, but I was too annoyed by Trixie to fall asleep just yet. So I draped the blanket over her and decided I would take a short walk in the cool night air to clear my mind.

When I returned about half an hour later, all the anger was gone from my mind. But it was replace by something else: An old memory had crept into my mind during my walk and had firmly rooted itself there. It wasn’t a bad memory, but one that did bring me sadness and loathing that I could be back there. As I returned I heard Trixie mutter something about an Ursa Major in her sleep. I, having had a long day already, turned out the light and flopped down into my makeshift bed, welcoming its soft and warm embrace. However sleep did not overtake me as quickly as I had hoped it would. In fact, sleep didn’t overtake me for quite some time. I had far too much on my mind, remembering my child hood and how I had gotten to where I was now.

After I had been offered a contract as an author by “The Equestria Daily” in Canterlot I had travelled there and begun writing. After several attempts as a journalist, all of which were unsuccessful, I was beginning to starve. Both metaphorically and literally. I just could not seem to find the right atmosphere, the right mood, or the old zen I would achieve when I went to write before.
Times were very hard and I felt more stressed than ever. I was fearful that I would lose my job or not have money for rent and food. I could not concentrate on writing and it was clearly showing in my attempts to do so.
One night, unable to sleep, I had taken a walk around the city. It was brisk out at night, and caused a slight shiver upon first impact. Just the way I liked it. I had time alone to think. It was peaceful with no pony around to interrupt my daydreams. After an hour of wandering throughout the city aimlessly, half conscious as my mind’s bottled up thoughts finally all rushed to burst through the door into my train of thought, I ended up in the royal garden laying in the grass. Around me were various flowers that I couldn’t distinguish in the dark, and trees. I lay on my back and stared up at the sky, in awe of its beauty, but also its sheer immensity. An infinitely large frontier, with an unthinkable amount of places to see and explore.
I yawned, and was snapped out of my wandering mental monologue and became aware that there was now somepony else laying just feet away from me.
“Ya know,” she said, “I’ve always been told that some ponies do enjoy the night and the night sky but you might just be the first pony I’ve seen that actually does; besides me that is.”
Her voice seemed familiar, however I couldn’t quiet place it at the time. Through the veil of night I couldn’t see who this mare was, but I didn’t see any reason why I needed to know, so I simply lay my head back down.
“The sun is beautiful and all, and it lights up all of Equestria, but it does this at a much larger cost than gain in my opinion,” I replied to her.
“And what would that be?”
“While it lights up our physical world, I find that it blocks out or overshadows two very important other places. First off is the stars. Their beauty, their appeal, it’s so much greater than that of the sun, and not just because of how pretty they look. The night, mainly the night sky, is almost an involuntary mental gateway to the second pace the sun over shadows.”
“Which is?” she asked, sounding more interested than before.
“Our minds. During that day there are so many distractions, and everything is lit up and shown to you. During night, as I gaze at the stars I see so much that isn’t lit up. So much to be explored. And this stimulates my mind in way day never could. In day my canvas is limited, where out here.. out there..” I said, pointing my hoof towards the sky, “The possibilities, the uncovered, unknown ground, my canvas- they’re unlimited and blank. With no distractions around and these mental stimuli, I find an inner zen, a peace that the day could never bring me. On top of this, the night sky has always brought me clarity of mind. With no distractions, I can think more clearly, and delve into matters that never even cross most other pony’s minds. It’s like a retreat of mine, but the experience is new and different ever time.” I shivered slightly as I finished this, becoming cold because unlike before I was laying down, not moving.
The mare didn’t say anything, and neither did I. I simply gazed at the stars, lost in thought after thought. Things stayed like this for a while, until she spoke up again.
“You know, I never really thought about it that way.”
“What exactly do you mean?” I replied
“That the night sky.. that its beauty goes beyond just the visual appeal.”
“That’s the reason I like it so much.” I was quiet for a moment, considering my next words before I spoke. “Beauty... no, True beauty goes beyond just how attractive it is to the eye. The pure immensity of the night, that is unparalleled even by the sun, how with even a bit of thought it can humble the strongest and smartest of ponies. It makes me feel so... insignificant.” as I finished this I saw her slightly tense up, and quickly corrected my mistake.“In a good way that is.”
She released a breathe I hadn’t noticed she was holding and for a moment I saw her turn her head towards me, but I just kept my eyes on the stars.
“Now you answer, What exactly do you mean?”
This time i didn’t have to think about my response, for I had already dwelt upon the answer for hours in the past.
“In the day time,” I began “everpony goes about their business, whether it is work or school or some other activity.” She had a slightly confused look on her face, but stayed quiet as I continued. “Why do they do these things? Why do they go to school? In hope of achieving their dreams. Why do they go to work? To make money and feed their families. Why do they do what every they do? For a certain purpose that can’t just be ignored.” She still wore a confused expression so I continued. “All of these things cause stress and worry; they cause your mind to dwell on the bad what-ifs. What if I get fired? How will I feed my kids? What if I fail a class? I might not achieve my dreams. I will be unhappy. I have to do all this work. Everypony feels like there is so much to be done to make their place in Equestria. So much work, so much stress, and an overall negative mental attitude. Here, however, my slate is clean. I don’t need to do anything. I don’t have any stress, or fear. My mind is able to relax, I am able to relax, and clearly think on subjects that truly matter to me. I am able to let my conscience take over completely. Out here.. I stare up at the stars and I feel no need to make my place, or do anything huge. All I need to do is lay here, let my troubles float away, and allow my conscience to do the talking. And for me, at least, this is about the most relaxing, most valuable time I can possibly spend. Beauty goes beyond visual appeal, and what I have said isn’t even beginning to encompass the word or how... this” I said as I raised my hooves skyward, “perfectly portrays it.”
She was quiet for a few minutes before she finally said “That’s...” She started, “You’re...” She said sounding flustered, almost surprised.
“You have no reason to be flustered because you didn’t see this.” I said quietly. “I’ve spent more time than is healthy developing thoughts like this...” I chuckled quietly as I finished speaking.

But instead of responding I heard her move closer to me, her mane now laying just inches from mine. I contemplated looking over to see who this mare was, but decided against it. We stayed like this for quite some time, not speaking, just thinking. The seconds melted together, and I had no idea how long I had been laying like this. I felt more relaxed and open than I had felt in quite some time. Minutes melted together and it seemed I had been laying there for hours. I felt my eyelids grow ever heavier as time passed, but I tried with all my might to keep them open.

The next thing I remember, I had fallen asleep in the grass and woke up in the morning to find that somepony had draped a blanket over me. It was black as night, and made of some of the softest silk I had ever felt. The blanket was covered in dew, and the cold morning mist was all around me, but I wasn’t cold at all. I slowly got up, surprisingly feeling better than I had in a while despite sleeping on the ground, and slung the blanket over my shoulders as I made my way back to my studio apartment. The sun was just starting to peek over the horizon as I cantered back, and once I arrived I walked over to my bed and laid down. After levitating my journal over to myself, I opened it and turned to a new page. I lay staring at the blank page for a few moments, feeling as though I had something to write but no words came to mind. After a few minutes of this I sighed, returned my journal to the floor next to my bed, and pulled the black blanket over myself as I went to sleep.

Back in my hotel room with Trixie as the memory faded away for the time being, so did my will to stay awake. My eyelids finally shut and I drifted off to sleep. Even though I had fallen asleep to such a pleasant memory my dreams didn’t follow suit. As a matter of fact my dreams were rarely ever pleasant.

I dreamt almost every night, and not normal dreams. My land of slumber wasn’t visited by clowns, dinosaurs, or other weird creatures. The only things I ever dreamt were vivid, usually bad, memories of mine. As if my mind was unwilling to let me get over and forget the sadness so it could itself retain the knowledge I gained from them. Tonight, however, was different. My dream was of a memory that wasn’t all bad, but more bittersweet. It was the memory of the last time I had seen my parents, and the last day I had spent in my foalhood town.

I wasn’t not angry. No, I was past that. I wasn’t sad either; this was what I wanted, what I needed. I had already broken all my ties to this place, even those that seemed unbreakable once, and getting kicked out of the academy was all the push I need to get going. I had the books I needed in my saddle bag, and it was now or never. I turned to leave... One simple motion that by itself destroys so much. The straw that breaks the camel's back beyond repair.
"Where do you think you're going?!" she yelled at me.
"I’m not sure mom.... Anywhere." I said, finishing quietly.
"After ALL we have done for you? You ungrateful little bucking bastard!"
Silence fills the room. Her eyes were filled with hatred and screamed of repressed anger, but most of all with ignorance and confusion. It was at this moment that I truly, finally understood her. She opened her mouth to speak, but was interrupted before she can lash out another misguided slur of anger.
"Be quiet." My father said simply, yet firmly.
"Whats wrong with you! Your going to let him just leave and disrespect us after everything we have done?!"
My father gives her a stern look and she shrunk back down. His gaze didn’t leave her, however, and after a long moment he spoke again. This time his voice was raised. "After everything WE'VE done for HIM?" anger grew on his face slowly, but he closed his eyes and inhaled deeply as it melted away. "I'm sorry I didn't see this sooner, and that I've wasted so much of your time pushing you into that school and trying to make you what I wanted you to be." He said to me quietly. "If you want to go, I won't stop you. I know I can’t fix my mistakes, which are to more than just you." He said. He then turned to look at my mother as a single tear rolled down her cheek.

I learned more about my parents in this one moment than any other in my entire life. It was at this moment that I believe they both realised who exactly it was holding them down. Themselves.
Throughout my whole foalhood all my father ever did was work. He'd rise early, lock himself in his study or sometimes go out to work, and return late into the night and immediately retire to bed. My mother stayed at home watching me. We never fought when I was young but as I matured, experienced things in life for myself, I realised she had yet to experience life herself. She had been sheltered and robbed of so much by her old fashioned father, and then made to stay home by mine. She was in heart and mind more of a foal than I.
I slowly glanced to my father and said “It’s okay dad. I don’t blame you and I’m not mad, but if you want to repay me than do one thing. You have enough money to last you a life time, so sell this house, get a smaller place, and retire early. Spend your time with the person who needs it more than anybody.” I then glanced over at my mom.
The anger in her eyes was replaced with sadness, but also determination, a look I knew quite well. “And you mom, I’m sorry I have to leave, but this job is... it’s what I’ve always wanted. I want you to have this though.” I undid the button on my right saddle pack and removed a small book. This book had been my personal journal for the past two years, and contained many thoughts I knew would not only warm her heart, but also help her mind to be put at ease.
“This has helped me solve many problems over the past few years. When ever I was having trouble I’d just write. It’s yours now though, and I think it really may be able to help you too.”
I exhaled deeply as I looked down at the ground, my mane falling in front of my face and eyes. “I may not be back, or I may be... But what ever happens,” I said as I turned my head back up to face them “I will never forget you, and the memories I hold will won’t be ones of hatred or regret.”

I slowly turned towards the door and walked out. Not to be dramatic, but because I simply had no reason to hurry anymore, nor did I want to.. I had finally found the job I wanted. I was to be an author. I had gotten a publishing contract with a big company in Canterlot and I was finally setting out on my own in life, finally beginning to do what I wanted. I was my own pony and no pony could take that from me. I remember the feeling being so great.