A Herd of Misfits

I woke up feeling happy and very warm. Ahh, it was just so pleasant, I didn't want to open my eyes, but I didn't know what time it was or even if what happened last night was a dream. If it was, I didn't want to open my eyes. Please, Luna, please let it not be a dream. Slowly opening up an eye, my vision cleared and I got a full view of Gear Tech's rump a mere few inches from my nose.

My heart, which seemed to do a lot of self repairing from the night before, stopped. Only her tail covered herself where we lay. If only she- her tail twitched and moved slightly, giving up a little glimpse of pink. Warmth spread across my face and raced down to my neithers as a smile spread across my face. I could get used to this.

Now, being fully away, I blinked away the sleep still in my eyes and looked around. To my right, I noticed Writer, the dragon-alicorn mix, was snuggling with Trixie, who seemed to be having a blissful dream. I could feel RJ still holding me where we lay and looking to my left- two balls in a leathery sack and a sheath assaulted my eyes, just as close as Gear's plot was! With a jolt, I drew back my head, knocking heads with Realm.

“Mmm...ow.” Realm's ear flickered in annoyance. “Take it easy.” He mumbled without opening his eyes.

“Sorry.” I whispered back, trying not to wake the others. “But Penn's package is in my face.”

RJ considered that for a moment. “That a problem?” He finally asked.

“Uuuhhhhhhhh,” I looked back at Penn's goods. The skin that held his testicles was crinkled and looked pruney, even though his skin was dry. It looked like small fuzz grew over the black sack sheath colored similarly. “I just never had a stallion's goods in my face before.” I replied evasively.

“You didn't answer my question.” Realm pointed out, eyes still closed, and ear flickering in annoyance. “But I do understand. When Penn, Trixie and I started the herd, we weren't too keen on getting to know each other that way.”

I sensed there might be a story behind this. “What happened? What do you do to fix it?”

The yellow unicorn snorted and smiled. “Got drunk off our plots and had a wild night. When all three of us woke up, we had roaring headaches, but satisfied bodies.”

It wasn't much of a story. “Who came next?” I asked curiously. Last night, he bluntly told my everyone's story, but other than that, I didn't know much about the herd I had just joined. We had a giant snugglefest and fell asleep. Now that I was awake, warm and comfortable, and getting use to the sights around me, I became very talkative.

“Gear Tech joined about a year after.” RJ explained, still half asleep. “Let's just say, the herd was more therapeutic for her than the rest of us.”

“What do you mean?”

He lazily opened one blue eye to consider me. “...Look, Red. There are many things I'm willing to tell you about, but there are some questions that can only be answered by the pony themselves.”

“So, you don't know?”

He closed his eye, sighing to himself. “I know. The rest of the herd knows, but they won't tell you.” There was a moment of silence. I thought he'd gone back to sleep before he continued speaking. “Somethings are public, but other things are private. Here in the herd, we don't keep secrets. Sooner or later every member will know everything about each other, but only after earning the right to know. You'll have to ask her yourself.”

My heart sank slightly. “Okay.” It seemed that just being a part of the herd didn't entitle me to all the rights the others had. I was the stallion in the back of the line.

RJ seemed to sense my disappointment, because he continued with what he was saying before hoof. “Writer was the last. Poor buck. We found him outside hiding. It took him a few hours to relax enough to let us lead him into the house. It took even longer for him to start talking to us.”

“Do I need to ask him why too?”

RJ simple lifted a hoof and swatted playfully at my flank, making me squeak in surprise. “No sass, little colt.” His hoof rubbed the spot where he smacked. “Mmmhh, nice and firm.”

I didn't know what to say. Or do for that matter. I'd never been felt up by another pony, and here the herd leader was loving every moment of it. He pulled me back so his muzzle was close to my ear.

“Daddy likes~”

There was a part of my brain that told me that I should be creeped out, distraught, disturbed, humiliated and pissed off at such a bold statement. Then another part of me told that part of me to shut it's trap and melt with the contact. I'd never had physical affection before, the only exception being in my colthood getting hugs and snuggles from my mother. The way Realm's hooves made slow circles on my flank sent chills up my spin, wondering if he was going to indoctrinate me into the herd right here, right now, and claim me as his prize.

Part of me wanted him to. I'd never looked at a stallion that way, but part of me really, really wanted him to make me his.

My hoof moved before I thought, stopping his circles. “Realm. Please.” I blushed, instantly feeling shame. “I-I want to...but...I'm just not ready yet.”

RJ paused a moment, then patted me. “It's fine.” He said softly. “I know it's your first time with a stallion.”

“With a pony.” I corrected.

“And I have not intention to take anything your not willing to give up.” He rose a little on his shoulder to kiss my cheek. “We're herd mates, so I will look at you with the same love and affection I do with the others who are here.”

His proclamation made me blush.

He rose up, leaning over me and gave Penn's nutsack a quick nuzzle-not sure how I felt about that- before standing up.

“Rise and shine Misfits~ It's another glorious day, so let's make something of it.”

The others stirred. Penn, I noticed, had a trail of drool dribbling down his chin, and was smiling. “You like the sight, daddy?”

Realm Jumper smirked. “Unless you want me to have your dumplings for breakfast, I suggest you get up, Doodle.”

I blinked, feeling like I just missed a conversation. “Doodle?”

“Pet names.” Writer answered. He watched me with one eye where he lay. “We all have them.”

“Oh!” I'm smart. “Then what's yours?”

“Draggy.” He smiled. The urge to facehoof was strong. If it had been any more obvious, it'd be written on his forehead.

Tech got up, and stretched, her tail swishing as she unfurled her wings, letting out several pops from stiff joins. I couldn't help it. My eyes enjoyed the free show that was offered to them. She glanced over, seeing me watch. She gave a smirk that bespoke volumes of unme- mmmhhfff!

“Before you get to comfortable with peeping at all my pretty parts~” She said smugly, grinding her puss into my nose. “Learn to ask permission. I do enjoy some privacy while I'm at home.”

She smothered my nostrils with her scent and plenty of juices, causing my eyes to shrink to pinpricks. She got off and trotted happily out, singing, “Dibs on the showers!”

Trixie was also up, trotting after her. “Nay, the Great and Powerful Trixie called dibs before you!”

“When?”

“Last night while we were...in deep discussion.”

“Really now?”

“Yes. Trixie remembers.”

“Well, I don't. Why don't you refresh me as we continue this 'deep discussion' in the shower?”

The girls giggled and trotted off side by side.

“Remember!” RJ called after them. “Twenty minutes! Fifteen if you want breakfast!”

“...Wow.” Was all I could say, still not having recovered from the nose sitting.

Penn, who had finally closed his legs, got up and shook his short mane, giving the already messy mane more fluff, making it almost feather like. He gave me a grin. “You get used to it.” He told me, helping me up in my stunned state. “I mean how forward we are here about our sexuality. Not the face sitting. That was just Tech playing around.”

I just nodded.

After getting cleaned up, Writer went to the kitchen and prepared some food. Pancakes, orange juice, toast and fresh oats was on the menu for this morning. I've lived most of my adult life off of what I could scrap together, which was simple cereal, though milk wasn't always available. A meal like this would be the stuff of dreams to me. When I was given my plate, I wasted not time in attacking it. It wasn't until I was halfway through my double stack of pancakes that I realized every pony was watching me.

“.....?” I swallowed slowly.

“We say grace before our meals together.” Realm Jumper explained, a small smile of entertainment on his muzzle. “We're not exactly religious, but we like to give thanks for the good things in life. Helps us keep...perspective.”

My ears folded down in embarrassment. “Sorry.”

Penn patted my shoulder. “It's okay.” He stifled a laugh. “I swear though, the way you downed those pancakes, it was like you never seen food bef-OW!”

Trixie had flicked his ear with magic. “Please forgive Penn. His brain often forgets that it's tongue is attached to it.”

My face burned more with shame and embarrassment as my eating edict was brought into play by my green herd mate. Thankfully, Realm cleared his throat, bringing attention back to him. He clopped his hooves together twice before bowing his head. Everyone else did, so I followed suit.

“Celestia and Luna. We thank you for the slumber that brings relief and the day that brings life. These things we thank you for, amen.”

“Amen.” Was repeated by all, as each pony began their meals. I slowly began to continue mine, watching the others carefully. As I watched, I began noticing small things about my herd companions. Penn would often bolt down some food, then space out a little while he was chewing, like he was deep in thought about something, before remembering that he was at the dinner table, and continue his spastic eating style.

Writer, it seemed took each bite slowly, savoring the taste while looking around the group, taking his time to look each pony in the face, as if trying to say something with his eyes that his words couldn't quite convey. His gaze lingered on me, and I felt the most profound love and gratitude shoot through me like a bolt. The sorrow that was in his eyes was deep, but in equal measure was his happiness. It took me a few seconds to remember that staring was rude, and forced myself to go back to my meal.

Gear Tech didn't look up from her meal. She seemed simply content to smile as she seemed to bask in some kind of glow that I neither saw nor felt. Trixie, on the other hoof, kept glancing at different members of the group, as if wanting to make eye contact, but fearing to do so.

That left Realm Jumper. He just sat enjoying his meal, almost ignoring the world around him. When he was finished he straightened up and smiled, meeting my curious eyes.

“So, what's every pony up to today?” He asked, after letting most of us finish our meals.

“I'll be spending another day translating some books for Princess Twilight.” Penn answered. “She's got me working on an old tomb of Changeling script. I'll tell you, those buggers had quite an imagination when it came to the how the world works.”

RJ held up a hoof before the green scholar could rant on more.

“I'll be at the smithy today.” Tech announced. “Been working with Black Steel on an idea I have to get the train to run on something other than horse power.”

“Don't you mean Pony Power?!” Penn smirked. I felt my eyes roll. Wow. Just wow.

“Trixie shall continue to preform her little magic shows for the fillies and colts this afternoon.” Trixie said simply. “Trixie will be spending the morning getting ready for it, and practicing a few new rope tricks.”

“I,” Writer smiled warmly. “Will continue on my newest novel.”

“You write?” I inquired before I could stop myself. Again, the urge to facehoof was strong. His name was Writer. Duh!

“I have a few works out.” The half dragon pony nodded. “Break Wave Adventures. Frozen Stone Hearts. Awakening Through Fire.”

“Hey, I read that one!” I smiled. “You're Cosmic Wingbeat?! Wow!”

Writer blushed. “Cosmic Wingbeat is my pseudo name. I prefer to be called just Writer.”

“Or Draggy when he's balls deep in you~” Trixie smiled blissfully. When she realized what she'd just said, she blushed. “N-n-not that Trixie would know! O-of course Trixie wouldn't say such dirty things.” She blushed hard.

There was some snickering around the table, but the issue wasn't pressed. Again, all eyes fell on me. I sat there, confused. What? Was something on my face? It was only after RJ waved his hoof, like he was encouraging me to do something, that I realized what they wanted.

“I'm going be teaching dance lessons this afternoon and evening.” I told every pony. “I teach urban dance, and some robotics as well as pop'n'lock classes.”

“And I'll be working at the courier's office again.” RJ smiled. “Clean up your dishes, and we'll get together again tonight for a special welcoming party for Red Jasper into our little herd.”

I blushed. “Oh, no no no, you don't have to do that fo-”

“It's customary.” Writer said. “And it's a way that you'll get to know each of us better.”

“Much better.” Gear Tech smiled.

“Much, much better.” Penn added with an even bigger grin.

RJ cleared his throat. “Now then, don't spoil the surprise.” He too cracked a smirk. “We wouldn't want to scare him off, now would we?”

Those eyes. That smile. His voice. It made me shiver with fright, yet want what ever he had for me. I had no idea what was coming tonight, but the little voice in the back of my head just kept whooping, yelling 'Yay! I'm not going to die a virgin!'