Anthologie101

I've been cutting my cards all day. I don't want my identity anymore. I want to go live away in the Griffin Kingdom or in Saddle Arabia to become a Sage of some sorts. Yeah, sounds uber nice, eh?

I could just grind up my cards in my new state of the art paper shredder that "cuts so good it can shave trees," or some shit like that... but I decided to use the scissors I was sent by Apple Bloom and her friends up in Ponyville. I wonder how they're doing... but soon it won't matter, I won't be living here in Manehatten anyway for much longer. I'm leaving this fucking hell and finding some place much more exciting and chaotic.

I have no friends here, my family up here's just a bunch of hymenized pussies bleeding at the sight of danger. Damn pricks didn't even want me to visit Bloom and Jackie and Mac in Ponyville cuz they claimed the trip was gonna be "dangerous." Way to cut the kids off, eh? I'm eighteen now, I could move out and use this new styling talent of mine to make a living out where I know it'll be appreciated.

I've heard that Griffin's feathers are styled more in one Griffin's style than in three ponies' manes, but I was told that by some pink bitch named "Silly Pomegranate" or something. Eh, she must be lying or trying to get me killed. I have no idea why though. She probably has some beef with somepony I know or somethin', but that's more of a "Rarity situation."

Though, Saddle Arabia seems like a smarter place to come to, mainly because it's a lot easier to access and still in Equestria, not halfway across the fucking world.... damn, Silly Pomegranate must really be trying to kill me! I thought I could trust her, she seemed like a nice pony, but she's evil as hell! Why would I even consider taking any advice of hers? Nearly gave myself a death wish to die for, quite literally, but I suck ass at these puns so I'll just stop 'em for now.

Right now, I should be getting ready to leave, but I'm just sitting here and cutting cards like I'm running from the police or something.