If I'm alive, why can't I die?

by dracorex01

6. Call me Sir Pranks-alot

Previous ChapterNext Chapter

Okay, after the deja vu of blacking out on the same day again, eventually I came to once more on the couch to the sound of the girls arguing. I also noticed that Nyx now had her new clothes on and Spike had arrived. He was wearing a purple hoodie and blue jeans.

"What do you mean he saved your parents," Rainbow questioned. "Hay I'm your best friend and I never heard this before!"

Applejack replied, "Because he made mah family swear that we wouldn't tell anypony. Rainbow, what would anypony do if they found out that somepony, that Nick, could bring the dead back to life?"

After thinking about it, Twilight answered, "It would be chaos."

"Hey," I spoke up.

"Nick," Twilight said. "Good to see you're awake."

"Well, I wouldn't be surprised with how devilishly handsome I am," I joked. "Hey, nopony kissed me in my sleep did they?" As much as I was joking, I noticed that Fluttershy was beginning to grow a blush.

"Nah dude, you're good," my brother said. He was lieing.

"Jake."

"Yeah."

"You're lieing."

"...How did you know," he asked relunctently.

"You just confirmed it."

"...Dang it. Well, I ain't talking."

"Fine. I guess I'll just prank you as payback for lieing to your brother."

"How? You left your prank kit back home."

"Simple," I then gripped the air in front of me and my brother looked like he was sick to his stomach before screaming-

"BATHROOOMM!!"

-at which point he sprinted to the nearest restroom and slammed the door.

"FFUUUCCK!!!"

"Language Jake," I playfully chastized.

"FUCK YOU ASSHOLE!!"

"I think he's talking to his butt," I told the girls. "He tends to do that sometimes."

"What did you do to him," Spike asked.

"Ya see... uh..."

"Spike."

"Spike, I used my necromancy on him."

Not understanding, he asked, "How? There's nothing dead inside him."

"Actually, that's where you're wrong. Inside him and most animals, you can find fecal matter."

"Daddy, what's fecal matter," Nyx asked.

Noticing Twilight's unamused look, I said, "why don't you ask Twilight?"

Now that everyone was looking at her expectingly, Twilight answered, "*Sigh* it means 'poop.'"

After hearing this, laughter broke out from Spike, Pinkie, Rainbow, Applejack and my daughter. Once the laughter qiueted down, we heard a toilet flush. Huh, guess his diarrhoea is finished. We then heard a door open and out staggered my brother, fury and illness written on his face, "you... sick, twisted, disgusting-"

"Careful Jake," I warned, gesturing to the girls. "You wouldn't want to use any foul language in front these ladies, now would you?"

Jake narrowed his eyes. "Let's just get this meeting over with."

Rarity then started, "ahem, now Applejack told us about how your necromancy had limits. Could you please go into further detail?"

"Right, I guess the main limits are focused on my third level. One is the condition of the corpse, if its too damaged, the resurrection won't work."

"Just how damaged are we talking," Rainbow asked.

"Let's just say that if you're missing something you can't live without, I can't help ya. Now, the second condition is that the creature that will be resurrected must want to be resurrected. If somepony feels that they're ready to die, I can't stop them. The third is where the coma comes into play." Here is where I recieved the title 'the Reaper's Bane.' "You see, where Jake and I came from, there is a classical personification of death known as the Grim Reaper. In the world that I based Necros in, the Grim Reaper exists and he does not like it when he can't do his job to deliver souls to the afterlife properly. Necros tends to get in the way of the job, but because he can't die, the most that the Grim Reaper can do is get to the soul first or get payback by putting him into a coma, the more lives brought back the longer the coma. One could say that it becomes a race to see who can get to the corpse first. As a result, I am given a time limit of when I can resurrect somepony before they are dead for good."

After hearing all of this Twilight was the first to speak, "wow, I see you've put a lot of thought into this."

"Yeah. I always dreamed of bringing Necros out into the world, I never expected that I would become him though."

"So what do you plan to do now?"

"First, I would like to surprize Applejack's parents. It has been a while since we've last seen each other. Next, I would like to enroll Nyx into school-"

"Awwww," Nyx pouted adorably. "But Daaaa-aaaad, I don't wanna go to schoooll."

"Nyx, it doesn't matter if you want to because you need to go."

"*Sigh* Fiiinne. But I expect to get a reward for this."

"...Alright," I then began pretending that I had card in my left hand and a microphone in my right. "Nyx, for going to school, you get the wonderful opportunity tooooo... make friends!" This got Nyx to pout adorably again. "I'm not joking about that last part though, I'd like to see that you make some friends. Besides, you've been away for a thousand years and I wouldn't be surprized if you missed out on various moments in history."

"Okay."

"Don't worry Nyx," Spike said. "School isn't that bad. I go to school too and it can be kinda cool at times."

"Now then, Applejack would you like to see shock on your parents' faces?"

"Heheh, Ah suppose. Does anypony want to come with us?" Turned out everyone did. Probably to learn how I met Applejack's family.

On the way I asked Twilight when Spike had arrived. "Oh, he came while you were asleep. I had him stay behind to write to Princess Celestia about the meeting."

"Okay." Luckily, we didn't run into any other ponies on the way to Sweet Apple Acres. "Now Applejack, I want you to get your parents and tell them that an old friend is here to see them."

"Alright." She went inside and yelled, "Ma, Pa, there's a family friend here to see ya'll."

"In a minute," a mare called out. Eventually, out came a mare that had yellow hair and green fur and a stallion who had red hair and brown fur wearing a stetson hat that was a darker shade of brown compared to Applejacks. Then from behind them came Apple Bloom and Big Macintosh.

"Everypony, Ah'd like you to meet mah family: mah mother, Ginger Gold; mah father, Golden Noble; mah little sister, Apple Bloom; and mah older brother, Big Mac."

I then walked to Ginger and Noble and asked, "so have you gotten into any more wagon accidents since we last met?"

"I'm sorry have we met before," Ginger asked.

"*Fake gasp* Ginger, I would think that you would remember me after all this time," I spoke.

"Boy, you had better start making sense before Ah smack some into ya," Noble said.

I raised a brow, "Noble, I'm older than you. If anyone should be calling anypony 'boy' here, its me. Here, let me give you a hint to my identity." I then closed my eyes, took off my sunglasses, put them in my pocket, and opened my eyes. When those two saw my eyes, Ginger screamed (not like a horror movie scream or a celebrity fueled scream, but a scream of seeing a good friend) and the two came over to give me a hug. I will not lie, when you get a hug from Golden Noble, you feel like the Terminator from the first film near the end.

"Its so good to see you again Braveheart," Ginger cried.

Jake snickered, "Braveheart?" Yes, during the time I was traveling, I used the name of a character from the Care Bears franchise as an alias. Just like Numbskull, it worked. "Actually, now that I think about, I think 'Braveheart' is a better disguise for ya, bro."

"You really think so?"

"I don't see any reason not to."

"Actually... hey girls, did any of you tell anypony about, uh, 'Numbskull's' history?"

Twilight spoke, "no Nick, we agreed that it wouldn't be right to gossip about something like what you told us."

I smiled, "thanks. I guess that means that Nyx's official father can change from 'Numbskull' to 'Braveheart'. Anyway, Noble I need some advice."

"Shoot."

I paused and said, "how do I learn to be a good, intimidating, over-protective father?" Everyone started laughing.

"Daaaa-aaaad," my daughter whined. "That is completely unnecessary!"

"Really? Then let me ask you this: how would you handle it if you found your boyfriend cheating on you?" I was actually serious about this, and what she said made me very proud of her.

Nyx turned to Twilight and asked her, "Twilight, is it illegal to use magic to change a pony's gender?" Everyone excluding me was cracking up, I on the other hand was crying tears of pride and joy.

Twilight finally answered, "well, its not illegal, its just a rather advanced spell."

"Could you tutor me then Ms. Sparkle," Nyx replied. "I'd like to have more spells to use for pranks."

"Oh no, now there's two of them," Jake said clearly afraid of the potential pranks that I might pull with my daughter.

"Excuse me dear," Ginger started. "But I can't recall meeting you before, are you a friend of Braveheart's?"

"No. I'm actually his brother, his alias may be 'Braveheart,' but his birthname is Nick."

"Now, Ah have a porposition for you two," Noble gestured to my brother and I. "How would you like to work at Sweet Apple Acres?"

Jake declined saying that he planned on joining law enforcement while I agreed to work for Golden Noble. After we were done talking and everyone had left the farm; Fluttershy, Nyx, and I went to the school to see if Nyx was able to attend. While Fluttershy wanted to wait outside, we found Cherilee doing some papers. "Excuse me," I started. "Is it possible for my daughter to go to this school?"

"Of course! We just need to have her signed in. So, what is your name dear?"

"My name's Nyx, and this my dad, Braveheart," my daughter said. "And yes, he's single." At this, I grew wide-eyed and Cherilee had to stifle a giggle.

"Nyx! What did I tell you not to do in regards to my love life?"

"What love life?"

"...You are very lucky that your punishment is no cookies. Just promise me that you won't treat Ms. Cherilee or your classmates like this."

"I promise."

"Good. So will that be all Ms. Cherilee?"

"Yes. Remember that school will begin tomorrow."

After that, we decided to head to the cottage. Along the way, I decided to chase Nyx as the tickle monster as retribution for embarrassing me. When we got home, I sent Nyx to take a bath while Fluttershy and I would prepare for her first day at school. Despite everything going on, even as I went to sleep, I couldn't stop thinking about wether or not I should use my powers to be a superhero.


Author's Note

Haaaa, finally finished. Welp, I hope to recieve comments soon. See ya!

Next Chapter