Wake to Reality

As Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo trotted out of the schoolhouse, Diamond Tiara shot a quick look at their flanks. Still no cutie marks. Diamond Tiara should've felt triumph, that they were still just ordinary fillies with no special talent. Instead, the sight of their flanks crushed her inside. She wanted to scream and ask them why, why couldn't they just get their cutie marks? But deep down, she knew the answer. Ponies were always saying, every day, that a cutie mark could only be earned when it was time. But why couldn't that time be now?

Diamond Tiara ran out of the schoolhouse without closing her schoolbag, papers flying behind her. Her mind was racing without any recollection of what the fillies learned that day in class as she struggled to remember. But then her memory flashed a picture of numerous cutie marks on Miss Cheerliee's board. They had learned about cutie marks and what they meant to a pony. Apple Bloom had been intensely taking notes, as though her life depended on it. Of course it did, she and her little group had been trying to earn their own cutie marks for a long time.

"Diamond Tiara! You left your homework-" Miss Cheerilee yelled out behind her, but what did homework matter to her? Homework couldn't fix the hole in her heart, the anguish that was welling up inside her. She ran, ran, ran all the way to her home, not stopping to take a breath. She knew she would regret the decision to run all the way, but she didn't want to linger around anypony. Diamond Tiara just wanted to be left alone.

"Diamond Tiara, are you going to-"
"Not now, Silver Spoon!"
The gray pony looked stunned at Diamond Tiara's retort as she continued to sprint. She felt a slight pang of sadness, because she knew Silver Spoon depended on her. Her life at home was nothing to boast about, so being friends with the only filly in the school who could understand was essential. But Diamond Tiara couldn't stop running just to coddle Silver Spoon. She had her own reasons for leaving her in the dust, just as her old friends had always done.

When she finally arrived at home, Diamond Tiara burst through the doors and let her schoolbag fall off her back. She panted heavily, pain stinging her sides. It was growing, ripping away at her. But it wasn't nearly powerful enough to mask the sadness and anger that were boiling and mixing together in her heart. Diamond Tiara had refused to discuss anything about her life with others most of the time, keeping it bottled inside. That probably wasn't helping.

"Are you alright, Diamond Tiara? You look terrible." Filthy Rich came up to her, moving her bag away.

Diamond Tiara desperately wanted to lie and say she was fine, that it had just been a long day. But how could she say such a thing when it was so very clear that things were certainly NOT fine?
"I.. I.." She looked into her father's eyes, heart racing. She wanted to say anything but what was making her upset. But it couldn't stay locked up.
Then her face suddenly relaxed, emotions being swept under the rug. A small smile broke it's way through Diamond Tiara's wall. "I'm fine, Dad. Just tired from school. We had a lot to study up on, and there's a test soon." He didn't look convinced, but walked away without saying another word. Diamond Tiara picked herself up, got her bag and went to her bedroom. She put it down and sat down on her bed.

Almost as soon as she looked out the window, her frustration returned. She saw the trio going down the street with Scootaloo's scooter, covered in dust. They were all laughing and trying to shake off the substance. Diamond Tiara grit her teeth and closed the curtains over the window in one swift, heavy movement. In that moment, she lost all control of her feelings. The sight of them being so happy and carefree broke her inside.

"It's not fair! It's not fair!" She screamed, kicking her bed. Diamond Tiara sprinted to her dresser, pulling drawers out and scattering them everywhere. "It's not fair!" Then she looked in her mirror, and raised her hoof. She drove it right through the glass, leaving a loud shattering sound. Her hoof was cut up a little, but what did she care? She could fix it! But she couldn't fix her problem!

"Diamond Tiara! Calm yourself!" Filthy Rich burst into her room, looking very concerned. "W-what are you doing? Why are you destroying your room?! What isn't fair?!"
"Isn't it obvious? It's Apple Bloom and her friends! THEY aren't fair!"

Filthy Rich looked confused and sat down in her doorway. Diamond Tiara was breathing heavily, eyes flashing.
"What about them is bothering you so much? Have they bullied you in school?" His face went into a protective frown, eyes narrowing. "If that's a problem, I can fix it in no time."

"No! Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo don't have their cutie marks yet!" She yelled angrily, tears streaming down her face. They were hot and made her face red, but nothing mattered now. Diamond Tiara could look like a hobo for all she cared. The tiara in her mane seemed to be cutting into her head, showing her thoughts for all to see.

".. Why does that matter? Their problems shouldn't be-"
"NO! You don't understand! I have my cutie mark, one that just means I always have to be this way! I don't get to change! But them? They still get to adventure and find their special talent! They can be anything they want, and have all the time in the world to find their cutie marks! It's not FAIR!" Diamond Tiara was so angry. The trio could've gotten their cutie marks ages ago. The rest of their class had their cutie marks, wasn't it time they did too?!

"Look, Diamond Tiara. Just because you have a diamond tiara for your cutie mark doesn't mean you have to be the way you are." Filthy Rich replied calmly while Diamond Tiara was trying to control her rage.
"Yes it does! I got my cutie mark when I first said a rude sentence to Apple Bloom! That means I have to be mean and nopony will like me! I don't want to be somepony that isn't cared for by her classmates!"

He sighed, and put his hoof on Diamond Tiara's shoulder. "Look, sweetie. A cutie mark can be interpreted in several different ways. Your cutie mark could be about you being powerful, or wealthy, or a good jewelry maker. It is seen the way you decide to see it. You see your cutie mark the way you decide to see it, and somepony else might think it means something completely different. Just think about that for a little while." With that, Filthy Rich stood up and walked out of Diamond Tiara's room, closing the door behind him.

"But.." Diamond Tiara stood up and glanced at her cutie mark. It was the same as it always was, a tiara. She always thought it meant for her to be mean, to be like a snobby princess. She didn't want that. She kept staring, as though some new thing would come to light.
"I.. I don't have to act the way I do. Is that true? Can I be different?" She didn't know for sure if what she had thought was true or not. Her cutie mark was so vague, she could barely remember when she got it. Sure, Diamond Tiara knew the moment she had gotten it but nothing else. She didn't know how Apple Bloom reacted, what was learned in the class that day.. nothing.

"I don't have to act the way I do." Suddenly, it all came crashing down on her. Her cutie mark couldn't control who she was. It was up to her to find her destiny, not the mark. Diamond Tiara wiped the tears off her face, stood up and walked out of her room with her head held high. The Cutie Mark Crusaders.. they weren't the only ones looking for who they were. Now she was too.
Diamond Tiara walked through the doors of her home and looked down the street. Nopony was in sight, but that was okay. She would change who she was and become the pony she wanted to be. A grin crept across her face as she set towards in her new goal.