Chapter 2-8: And A Cult Turned To Sh*t

Ishtaba casually hid behind a bush in the most fabulous way possible, spying on the familiar, but less awesome human and pegasus as they talked.

“I still can’t believe after Jorge saved his life, he still hasn’t thanked him.”

“That’s Ish for you. He can be a decent friend when you need him to be. But almost all the time he’s just… Ishtaba.”

“I… don’t know. We kinda just got together, and the next thing we knew we were all cool with each other.”

“Was he always that obnoxious, though?”

“Should I be offended at that?” He thought. “Nah, let’s just assume they’re just praising me.”

“I wouldn’t have minded so much if he saved you. But… Ishtaba is something else entirely.”

He scoffed at their conversation. Deciding he heard enough, he quietly escaped the area, letting the two talk about how purely amazing he is.

As he continued his walk, he walked by a unicorn mare who looked like a mint to him.

Ironically enough, she noticed his charmingness, too.

“Shit, did she see me stare at her ass?” Ish thought as he tried to nonchalantly look away. “Fuck. She noticed, now she’s staring at MY ass. Whatever you do, don’t look back at her ass.”

He looked back at her ass.

“FUCK! I DID IT AGAIN” he screamed inside his head. “Shit, she’s coming closer… Quick think of something smart to say… ‘Ay girl you shit with dat ass?’ Wait, what, why was that the first thing I thought of… PLAN B, MY NAME IS JORGE!”

“G-Godson?” Lyra cocked her head to the side. “I-Is that you?”

“JORGE!?” Ish exclaimed. “YOU MISTOOK ME FOR THAT CUBAN!?” he screamed as he began to realise he did the exact opposite of what he intended. “Shit. Do I even have a Plan C? There’s still Shadow I can impersonate… Nah, fuck it, let’s have some fun with this pony...”

“W-Well, I didn’t think there were other humans in Equestria…” Lyra explained. “I… uh… I thought it was just God—”

“Let me answer that question for you. No, you were horribly wrong.” he interrupted charismatically as his eyes began to drift behind the mint pony.

“O-Oh…” Lyra uttered. “Uh… How many of you guys are there?”

“The only one you need to worry about right now is, me” Ish stated as he walked into a position where the sun would perfectly capture his glory.

“U-Uh… Okay?” Lyra raised an eyebrow. “I didn’t realize humans were so…”

“Perfect? No, that’s only me.”

“I was gonna say ‘obnoxious’.”

“Blame Jorge,” Ish crossed his arms. “It’s his fault I’m here, anyway.”

“Who’s ‘Jorge’?” Lyra tilted her head to the side. “Are you referring to Godson?” She gasped at a sudden thought. “Do you guys have like, code names for each other!?”

“Sure, let’s go with that.”

“Ooh!” Lyra bounced at the response. “What’s your code name? Can I be a part of it, too!?”

“You can refer to me as...King.”

“Okay… King.” Lyra nodded. “What would my code name be?”

“You’ll get one after you listen to what I’m about to say. Now, as part of being part of our code names; you must obey all my commands, to follow me to the edges of the world, to swear loyalty, and to never abandon my side. Deal?”

“Deal.”

“I hereby dub thee ‘Tic-Tac’!” exclaimed Ish, as he began to wonder how far he could go with this pony.

“Ooooh. Tic-Tac…” She repeated. “That’s a cool code name!”

“I aim to please,” Ish smiled.

“So, King. What are you doing walking around Ponyville, anyway?”

“Well.... I can’t seem to remember. Can you hold this?” Ish said as he held out an empty hand. “I’m gonna go for a walk and see if I can remember why I started in the first place.”

‘Tic-Tac’ gasped. “A human hannnnnd…” She quickly grabbed his hand with her hoof. “Sure!”

“Wait, what… If this was a human girl, she would’ve just laughed and said ‘No,’ by now…” Ish thought as the miracle known as his mind began to contemplate what else to do. “Have I mentioned that back where I’m from, I was worshiped?”

“Really?” ‘Tic-Tac’ asked curiously. “Even by Godson?”

“Oh yeah, especially him. I used to have thousands of people following my every command, catering to all my needs. But here, I only have Godson and Shadow. It would be nice to expand my following. In fact, I think you’re first pony I’ve offered an invitation to. You should feel flattered,” Ish stated as his magnificent eyes locked into ‘Tic-Tac’s’.

‘Tic-Tac’s’ face quickly started to turn into a shade of pink, like the pink from a box of Valentine’s day hearts. “I-I… don’t know w-what to say…” She began to mutter.

“Say nothing then. If you hurry, you can build a shrine dedicated to me by sundown. And I’ll be truly grateful,” Ish said as he began to wonderfully stare off into the distance.

“Heh…” ‘Tic-Tac’ scratched the back of her neck. “Funny thing about that… I already have a shrine to humans…”

“This makes it all the more easier…”

“Not good enough.” Ish simply stated.

“W-What... H-How…?” stuttered ‘Tic-Tac’.

“It needs more me.”

“What do you mean more you?

“Well for starters, there isn’t a portion dedicated to me. Actually, screw that; it needs to be dedicated to me entirely.”

“But I know nothing about you…”

“Well good thing I’m here then, because how else are you supposed to learn about the perfection known as Ishtaba?” he queried, raising an eyebrow. “Now first things first, you need to paint a portrait of me in the style of ‘The Creation of Adam’.”

“The creation of Adam? What's that?” asked a confused ‘Tic-Tac’, scratching her head.

“It’s a painting that… Let me just draw you what it looks like…” said an unamused Ish as he performed his magical counterfeiting skills and completely recreated the painting perfectly. “Now instead of this guy over here, you have me. But, this big guy over here stays.”

“Wait, but if you could do that, couldn’t you have just drawn yourself?”

“Uh, no. What kind of god draws his own shrine memeorabilia? The fuck do you think I am? Jorge?”

“Uh, I think you meant memorabil—”

“No. It’s MEMEorabilia.” Ish crossed his arms. “Now draw.”

‘Tic-Tac’ simply shrugged, and did as she was told.

“Not bad, Tic-Tac.” Ish nodded softly. “Not bad at all.”

“You really think so?” ‘Tic-Tac’ raised an eyebrow. “I think I may have mixed up what you originally asked for…”

“Nah.” Ish patted ‘Tic-Tac’s’ back. “Actually, you made it better. You captured my likeness really well. I originally meant to replace the guy on the left with me, but you did the most wonderful thing and drew me exactly how fabulous I am.”

“Oh?” ‘Tic-Tac’ looked back at the painting, then back at Ish. “Y’know. The more I look at it, you’re right!”

“I am?” Ish was caught off guard. “I-I mean… I am!”

“Y’know, King…” ‘Tic-Tac’ smirked softly. “I didn’t expect you to be so… oh, what’s the word…? Smart, clever, so...” She gasped, finally finding the right word to use. “So perfect.”

“Now she’s speaking my language!” Ish mentally cheered.

WIth a roll of the eyes, Ish smirked back. “Yeah. I know. My perfection gets the best of me more times than I can count…”

“I can tell.” Lyra nodded slowly. “With a mind so great as yours, it’s no wonder why everyone worshipped you!”

“I know, right!?” Ish’s smirk grew into a full blown smile. “I’m fucking irresistible!”

“I’ll bet all the girls back in your world wouldn’t let their hands off of you!”

“DAMN RIGHT THEY DON’T!” Ish stomped a foot on the ground. “EVERY GIRL IN MY WORLD WANTE—NO WAIT, NEEDED A PIECE OF ME!”

‘Tic-Tac’ gawked in awe. “...Could… Could I have a piece?”

“...What?”

“I… I can’t resist, King.” ‘Tic-Tac’ growled softly, walking towards her prey. “I want you… I need you!”

“Shit. I think she’s trying to rape me.” Ish thought. “Should I let her or should I…”

“Hell yeah you need me!” He nodded. “Bitch! I’m fabulous!”

“Fuck. No going back now…”

“What have I done…?”

‘Tic-Tac’ tightened her grip on the asian. “So, King… Did you enjoy it as much as I did?”

“I just had sex with a horse…”

“...And I liked it…”

“What’s wrong with me?”

‘Tic-Tac’ slowly buried her face in Ish’s neck, sensually licking him. “Do you think… you have enough energy for… Round Two?”

“OH GOD NO.”

“U-Uh... “ Ish instantly sat up, forcing himself out of ‘Tic-Tac’s’ grasp. “S-Sorry, I… Uh… I have something I need to take care of…” Quickly getting out of bed, and grabbing his clothes. “M-Maybe later…”

“Fuck. I just gave her the opportunity for ‘later’.”

“Oh.” ‘Tic-Tac’ blinked. “Alright…”

As soon as all his clothes were in his hands, he swiftly ran out the door, and out of the pony’s house altogether.

“Time for me to live on the run...”

Author's Note

The chapter's shorter than all the earlier ones, but you need to understand that I literally lost brain cells trying to write this... I wanted to finish this as fast as I could so I could get it over with.

Ish's cult went to sh*t so fast that he didn't even have a chance to get to a decent start... rip Ish.