How I Lived In Equestria

Shadow walked around the castle, wandering around as he knew his wife was resting in bed for the past hour. He began looking around the rooms, finding quite a few extra rooms he hadn’t noticed before, which he and Twilight had designated to be guest rooms, in case they decided to throw a sleepover, or in case one of their friends needed a place to stay for a bit.

This was the longest amount of peace he’d seen in the castle so far. Jorge had been out doing things for Dash and her pregnancy before she hits her craving phase, which Twilight had now reached. Fortunately for him though, she was currently asleep. Ish had been doing his own thing, no one even knows what, but then again, no one cared.

But his moment of peace ended sooner than he had wanted, as he immediately heard his wife shout for him a few rooms away.

“WHO ATE THE LAST OF MY ICE CREAM!?”

Shadow blinked, immediately finding a way to prevent his ass from being accused. “I BLAME SPIKE!”

Off in the distance, he could hear Spike shouting back at them. “WHAT!? I HAVEN’T EVEN TOUCHED THE DARN PAIL SINCE YOU GUYS BOUGHT IT!”

In an instant, Shadow knew he was in for Twilight’s wrath. And not the good kind that leads to apology sex.

...Then again, that’s how he got himself in this mess in the first place…

“SHADOOOOOOOOOOW!”

Shadow turned around, quickly noticing his wife right behind him. Doing the best he can to calm himself, he smiled at her lovingly, walking up to her as he tried to soften her mood. “Yes babe~?”

Twilight had noticed Shadow’s calm and loving mood, which had somehow slowly began to calm her down. She took a deep breath, and sighed. “Shadie…” She spoke in a soft, yet whining tone. “Could you go get some groceries for me…?” She threw in a soft, childish, yet adorable smile that Shadow couldn’t resist.

Shadow rubbed the back of his neck with a hoof. “Well…”

Twilight began looking at him with her biggest attempt at making puppy eyes, pouting her lip as much as she could, as well as blinking rapidly every now and then to add to the effect, all she needed was one final piece to pull him into her trap.

“Pweaaaaaase?”

Shadow watched as his wife began to pull a move he knew all too well since they’ve gotten married. It was a trick she’d pull every time she wanted him to do something. He’d always try to resist against her attack, but, with a face like that, how could he say no?

“Sure… What do you need, babe?”

“I still can’t believe I fell for Twilight’s trap… again…” Shadow grumbled, walking by different aisles of the store, going over the dramatically long list that Twilight had gave to him.

With every aisle he passed, he looked at his list to make sure nothing he needed was in each passing aisle. With some aisles marked down as a mental note to pass through later, and others just ignored due to not having what he needed.

But right now, he was heading straight for an aisle that had the two most important things that Twilight threw on her list.

Cake. And Ice Cream.

The second he stepped hoof in the aisle, he quickly began searching for the very specific cake that Twilight mentioned in her list. 100% hay flour, octuple berry cake topped with daffodils.

Once Shadow had found the cake he was sent to hunt down, he made a straight path directly to the ice cream hidden in the freezer behind him. While Twilight asked for such a specific cake, when he had asked what ice cream she wanted, she simply told him to get vanilla.

As much as he tried, he could never seem to understand his wife’s cravings…

He opened the door, grabbing a pail of vanilla ice cream, shoving it in the shopping cart in front of him. He then reached in the door, grabbing another pail of vanilla ice cream specifically for him and Spike alone. He closed the freezer door, preparing to go on his way for the rest of the items in Twilight’s list.

Once the door had been shut, he prepared to turn around, only to find a certain red stallion digging in the freezer door next to his.

“Ugh. I can never find the cookie-dough flavored one…” The stallion muttered to himself, sounding irritated over his inability to find what he wanted.

Shadow looked over to the door he just closed, seeing the aforementioned ice cream through the glass. “It’s… in this one.” He replied, pointing at the door.

The stallion pulled his head back a bit, pausing for a moment before he would take a step back, and look over in Shadow’s direction.

Shadow immediately recognized the stallion to be Jorge, who was now looking at him, and then the freezer he had pulled the vanilla ice cream from.

“Oh.” Jorge blinked. “They must’ve moved it, then…”

“Yep…” Shadow simply said, watching as his friend closed the freezer door he was still holding, and reaching for the other one as he attempted to dig for the flavor he had been searching for.

As he watched Jorge finally find the ice cream he was looking for, Shadow decided to speak up. “So, what brings you here, Jorge?”

Jorge pulled his cart closer, placing the ice cream down in it. “Funny, I was gonna ask you the same thing.”

“Twilight’s goddamn cravings...” Shadow groaned. “You?”

“There’s a marathon of a show and Dash and I are gonna watch it.” Jorge smiled softly. “She wanted me to grab some snacks, but I wanted to pass by here real quick cause I’ve been craving some cookie dough ice cream…”

“So. I’m here for my wife’s cravings. And you’re here for your own.”

Jorge pondered Shadow’s statement for a moment, then nodded. “Yeah, basically.”

Shadow deadpanned. “Good job.”

“Welp.” Jorge grabbed his cart. “I gotta go grab some other stuff.”

“Oh.” Shadow nodded slowly. “Yeah, alright. See ya, Jorge.”

Jorge simply narrowed his eyes, but then quickly shrugged it off, and continued on his way.

Shadow simply shrugged back, grabbing hold of Twilight’s list once more. “Now… What else is on the list…?”

He skimmed through most of Twilight’s list, noticing items such as pickles, chips, and whipped cream.

“...I will never understand pregnancy cravings…”

An hour earlier...

“BLUUUUURGH!”

Jorge patiently rubbed his wife’s back with a hoof as he sat beside her, sighing deeply as he tried to soothe her as she emptied the contents of her stomach into the toilet. As well as trying not to get sick from watching and listening…

“Happy thoughts, Jorge…” He thought to himself. “Happy thoughts…”

Soon enough, her morning sickness had finally subsided, and her upset stomach was no more. Dash lifted her head slowly, pausing for a moment as she waited to see if her morning sickness would strike again.

But then, she felt her husband wrap a wing around her, attempting to pull her into a hug. She slowly gave in, leaning her side against him as he began to wrap his foreleg around her as much as he could, she pressed the side of her head against the crook of his neck, groaning softly as her stomach continued to rumble and stir.

She felt him lean down slightly, moving his head closer to hers as he gently kissed the crown of her head, she then whimpered quietly as he began caressing her back with his foreleg. She closed her eyes, relaxing her body as she rested against him while he soothed her from her morning sickness.

“Jorge…?” She spoke gently, gathering a hum from her stallion. “I love you…”

Jorge did a mix of a chuckle and a hum at the same time. “I love you too, babe…”

The two stayed like that for a while, Jorge continued to caress his wife while she simply rested against him, it was moments like these that showed how much they cared for each other. Jorge could only wonder if Shadow ever had moments like this with Twilight, but, then again… It wasn’t really his business to butt in on their relationship…

After a while, Dash gently moved her head up, turning her head upwards to face her lover’s. She smiled weakly, still held in his embrace. She then moved her muzzle closer to his, reaching over to show her affection for him, only for her to get completely blocked by his other wing.

“Dashie, as much as I love you and all…” Jorge snickered. “But after everything you just unloaded into the toilet, you need to wash your mouth…”

Dash grumbled, pushing his wing out of the way as she pushed her head against his neck once more. She closed her eyes again, not wanting to leave his embrace just yet.

Jorge smiled warmly, leaning closer to her and leaving a gentle kiss on her cheek. He watched as she opened her eyes, smiling back as she looked at him.

“C’mon, Dashie…” He muttered. “Let’s get you outta here…”

Dash whimpered as she felt him prepare to stand up. “I don’t wannaaa~...”

“Dash, c’mon…” Jorge murmured. “We’ll get you onto the couch, I’ll even carry you there… How’s that sound?”

“I guess…” Dash sighed. “But only if you carry me…”

“Done.” Jorge nodded slowly. “But first, we’re gonna wash your mouth… Alright?”

Dash nodded back. “Okay…”

Sighing contently, Dash adjusted her head more comfortably against her husband, whom rested on the couch with her. Her stomach had calmed down considerably, yet she still felt weak and woozy, though the past ten or so minutes she had cuddled there with Jorge did much to improve how she felt.

To add to their moment, Jorge slowly began to reach his muzzle closer to hers, pressing his lips against hers as they continued to cuddle. Soon enough, they found themselves making out on the couch, with Dash slowly pinning him down onto his back, allowing her to rest on top of him while they made out.

The two slowly ended their kiss, opening their eyes to see one another. They smiled softly, merely gazing at each other as time passed. Though once Dash had grown tired, she scooted a bit down, allowing her to rest her head on his chest. The couple stayed like this for what felt like an hour, spending time with each other while Dash tried to rest and adjust to her pregnancy.

Soon, Dash lifted her head up, feeling something small suddenly laying down on her back. She looked back, finding a certain white chihuahua with its noticeable brown spots on its face.

“Back off, Linda.” Dash grumbled, holding her husband tighter. “This is my stallion.”

Linda simply ignored the mare’s comment, inching closer to her face, and softly licking her cheek. Causing the mare to giggle at the sensations.

Jorge looked around, wondering where Tank could be. Only to find him wandering around, doing his own thing. He shrugged, and returned his focus back to his wife, who was still trying to defend herself against Linda’s attack of doggy kisses.

Dash had already reached to the point where she even covered her face with her wings, blocking the dog from her attacks, but even that failed to prove useless, as Linda would always find a certain area she failed to shield, and exploit it for her attack.

Jorge simply laughed as he watched Linda continued her onslaught of attacks, which Dash had been proving to be terrible at blocking. He knew not to try to take anyone’s side, for the other would retaliate against him. Either way, why would he want to ruin this adorable scene?

Soon, Dash was able to find the perfect defence against Linda’s assault, Dash scooted upwards again, burying her muzzle between Jorge’s neck and the couch, blocking whatever left that was vulnerable with her foreleg.

Her defences had succeeded, as Linda tried to find a vulnerable spot, but only went as far as poking her foreleg with her cold, wet nose. Once she had realized she lost, she immediately shifted her target over to the next best thing.

Jorge.

The stallion knew exactly what the dog was planning, and immediately blocked her first attack with his wing.

“Not this time, Linda.” He chuckled. “I think you’ve had enough fun for now…”

The dog simply pouted softly, her ears flopping back, and her wagging tail stopping as her target denied her game.

Jorge looked back over to Tank. “Why don’t you go play with Tank? I’m sure there’s something you two could do…”

She looked over at the same direction, immediately raising her ears and wagging her tail as she now focused on her new target. She swiftly jumped off the couch, racing towards the tortoise.

Dash slowly lifted her head up, checking if her attacker had finally left. Once she noticed that Linda was indeed gone, she uncovered her head, and removed her head from her hiding place entirely.

“Whew…” She sighed. “She’s gone…”

“You two had quite the battle, eh?” Jorge chided, raising an eyebrow.

“Shuddap…” Dash nudged him with a hoof. “You weren’t even helping me!”

“I wasn’t gonna get involved in your battle!” Jorge retorted. “Linda would’ve attacked both of us if I did!”

“Whatever…” Dash groaned, extending her wing as she tried to reach for the TV remote on the table in front of the couch. “Let’s just watch some TV…”

With a push of the button, the television turned on, landing on a channel Dash didn’t care about. She immediately began flipping through the channels, hoping she could find a show to watch.

Upon stopping at a random channel, she noticed a particular commercial that caught her attention.

“Today at six, a four hour marathon of ‘Daring Do: The Series’! Afterwards—”

“There’s a show!?” Dash immediately got up from her husband, immediately sitting up on the couch once again. She excitedly screamed in a fangirl-ish manner, quickly poking Jorge’s stomach with a hoof. “Quick! Grab the popcorn! We’re watching this!”

Jorge simply blinked at how fast Dash had reacted upon the very mention of a Daring Do show. He snickered, getting up from his comfortable spot, and walking off to the kitchen.

Dash could hear as her husband opened several cabinets, trying to find the popcorn.

“Uhh… Babe?” He called out.

“Yeah?” She looked over at the Kitchen’s direction.

“We’re out of popcorn…”

Dash looked back at the TV, laying back against the couch. “Crud.” She crossed her hooves.

Jorge walked out of the kitchen, walking behind the couch. “Need me to go run by the grocery store real quick and get some?”

Dash’s face lit up upon hearing her husband’s inquiry. She turned around, her back legs now holding her up as she held herself up against the back of the couch with her forelegs. “Pleaaaaaaase?”

“Say no more, Dashie.” Jorge smiled, pecking her lips softly. “I’m on it.” Dash smiled back, watching him as he made his way towards the door.

She looked at a nearby clock, noticing the time it currently was. She widened her eyes, turning her focus back to Jorge. “Jorge!”

The stallion stopped right in his tracks, turning his head towards his waifu. “Yeah?”

“You got fifteen minutes…” Dash pointed at the clock.

Jorge blinked, raising an eyebrow. “When’s the marathon again?”

“At six.”

Jorge looked at the clock, deadpanning as he realized the time. “Right…”

“Hurry up!”

“Alright, fine!” Jorge said with a chuckle. “Chill out…” He quickly made his way out the door, and to the grocery store.

“Fifteen minutes… That should be easy…”

“Aha!” Jorge cheered, having found the popcorn he was sent to buy. He grabbed two small boxes containing several packets of popcorn, and threw them into his shopping cart.

He exited the aisle, looking around to double check for anything else he might have needed while he was here. He looked off to the distance, finding the dessert aisle. He placed a thinking hoof on his chin, wondering if his favorite flavored ice cream would be there this time.

He quickly made his way to the aisle, not wanting to waste time before the marathon started, and went directly for one of the freezers, particularly the one that normally carried his ice cream.

“Ugh. I can never find the cookie-dough flavored one…” He muttered to himself, irritated over his inability to find his tasty dessert.

Seconds later, he heard a familiar voice speak up. “It’s… in this one.”

Jorge pulled his head back a bit, pausing for a moment before he would take a step back, and look over towards the voice. He found the voice’s owner to be Shadow, standing in front of the freezer next to his own.

“Oh.” He blinked. “They must’ve moved it, then…”

“Yep…” Shadow simply said, watching as his friend closed the freezer door he was still holding, and reaching for the other one as he attempted to dig for the flavor he had been searching for.

As he watched Jorge finally find the ice cream he was looking for, Shadow decided to speak up. “So, what brings you here, Jorge?”

Jorge pulled his cart closer, placing the ice cream down in it. “Funny, I was gonna ask you the same thing.”

“Twilight’s goddamn cravings...” Shadow groaned. “You?”

“There’s a marathon of a show and Dash and I are gonna watch it.” Jorge smiled softly. “She wanted me to grab some snacks, but I wanted to pass by here real quick cause I’ve been craving some cookie dough ice cream…”

“So. I’m here for my wife’s cravings. And you’re here for your own.”

Jorge pondered Shadow’s statement for a moment, then nodded. “Yeah, basically.”

Shadow deadpanned. “Good job.”

“Welp.” Jorge grabbed his cart. “I gotta go grab some other stuff.”

Shadow just kept looking ahead, seeming to stare right through his Cuban friend, completely zoned out from the world around him.

“...Shadow?” Jorge raised an eyebrow. “You alright there?”

Shadow quickly shook his head, having heard his friend’s voice, snapping him from whatever trance he was in. “Huh?” He blinked. “Oh. Yeah, alright... See ya, Jorge…”

Jorge narrowed his eyes. “Normally, I would ask why he looks so tired, even his eyes are bloodshot from how tired he looks… But Dash is gonna kill me if I take too long…” He thought, grabbing his cart once more as he began to make his way to the register.

“I’ll ask him about it tomorrow.”

“We will return to the show after these messages…”

“Aww! C’mon!” Dash shouted, grabbing another hoof-full of popcorn. “They decided to throw a commercial break right after a cliffhanger!?”

“You get used to it after a while.” Jorge chuckled, scooping another spoonful of his ice cream.

“Ugh, I don’t think I can…” Dash rolled her eyes, leaning back on the couch. She impatiently waited for the commercials to end, even going as far as crossing her hooves as she sighed deeply.

Then she smelled something... something sweet… She looked over to her husband, noticing the frozen treat he was eating.

“Jorge…?” She spoke softly.

“Hm?” Jorge hummed, stuffing himself with another spoonful.

“Whatcha eatin’?”

Jorge tilted his bowl to his wife, showing the contents. “Cookie dough ice cream. I’ve been wanting some for a whi—”

“Could I try some?”

Jorge blinked. “I thought you didn’t like this ice cream…”

“I don’t…” Dash shook her head. “But, I dunno… I feel like… I want some…”

Jorge raised an eyebrow, reaching his bowl closer to her. He watched as she took the bowl from him, grabbing a small spoonful of the ice cream. Knowing her, she’ll probably just say she didn’t like it again, and give it back.

But, seconds later, she did the complete opposite. She practically stole the bowl for herself, grabbing another spoonful to stuff her mouth with.

“Sweet Celestia… This is actually really good!” She widened her eyes. “Please tell me there’s still more left over!”

“Uh…” Jorge was left dumbfounded, before, his wife hated this ice cream, now all of a sudden, it’s her new favorite thing. “Yea—”

“Could you get me another bowl?”

Jorge deadpanned. “Yeah, I guess…”

“‘Kay, hurry up. The show’s about to come back any second!”

Jorge grumbled, heading back to the kitchen to serve another bowl of ice cream for his wife...And another one for himself.

“Y’know what would be great?” He heard his wife ask.

“What would that be?”

“I’mma try mixing my popcorn with the ice cream, and see what happens…”

In an instant, a wave of realization had washed over him, practically slapping him in the face, for he now knew…

Dash’s cravings kicked in.

“I knew I should’ve gotten more than one pail of ice cream…”