How I Lived In Equestria

Godson groaned softly, carrying yet another box of his marefriend’s stuff into his own home. What was first a simple joke to him, turned into a fully fledged plan for the both of them.

They had now been official for a month now, and already they agreed on moving in together.

“Y'know, Dash…” Godson spoke. “When they said you were the fastest mare in Equestria, I didn't think that applied to relationships…”

“I know.” Dash replied. “I'm not exactly the greatest when it comes to things like… well, dating.”

“You're not exactly the best at being patient, either.”

“Hey!” Dash retorted.

“Luckily you have someone equally as impatient as you are.” Godson winked at the now annoyed mare.

“Hmph.” Dash huffed.

“Relax, Dash.” Godson chuckled. “I’m just teasing you. Sure, we’ve been together a month now, but I’m glad to have you at the house with me! You never have to worry about leaving tank alone, we have more time to spend together… So far, I’m only seeing pros, and no cons.”

“Yeah.” Dash nodded. “Besides, it starts to get lonely sleeping at my own house knowing I could just spend the night with you…”

“Actually, you moving in might help me a bit.” Godson added.

“How so?” Dash raised an eyebrow.

“I’m pretty sure you’ve noticed by now that my bedroom’s almost barren.” Godson pointed out. “Y’know, with all the times you’ve been in there...”

“Ha, ha…” Dash narrowed her eyes. “Very funny.”

“What?” Godson raised an eyebrow. “I didn’t mean it like that. Geez, you’re so dirty minded sometimes.”

“Me!?” Dash gawked. “What about you!?”

“What about m—”

“Every time we pass by any cylindrical object you see in any store you ask if I’d like to try it!”

“And does it bother you?”

“Just a little bit…”

“That means it’s working.” Godson chided.

Dash sighed softly. “You’re telling me you’ve been doing it all this time just to bother me?”

Godson paused for a moment, thinking of the most appropriate response. “Kinda.”

Dash chuckled. “You’re a jerk, you know that?”

“Alright, fine. I won't do it anymore…”

“Thank youuu~.”

Eventually, they arrive to the human’s house. Dash opened the door, allowing him to enter first. As she waited for him to enter, she heard a whooshing sound above her. She looked up quickly, and saw a familiar carriage carrying a large mare to somewhere in Ponyville.

“Hey…” She spoke up. “What’s Celestia doing here in Ponyville…?”

“Hm?” Godson mumbled from afar, lightly putting the box down to go see what she was talking about. She pointed up to the carriage as it flew by.

“Huh. I’m… not sure, Dash.” He stated. “Maybe she’s visiting Twilight?”

“Maybe.” Dash shrugged. “Should we go check it out, later?”

“Yeah, I guess…”

They shortly made their way to Twilight’s library, once they were close enough they could hear the two princesses talking about something.

“Godson.” Dash pulled him, stopping him in his tracks. “I hear them talking… I don’t think it’s a good idea right now to be interrupting.”

“Pfft.” Godson scoffed. “And miss out on a chance to meet Celestia after the whole ‘Take Over Equestria’ incident? No thanks.”

“But—”

Before Dash could even finish her sentence, Godson opened the door slowly, making his way inside the library.

“Well… I suppose that explains your visit…” Twilight sheepishly smiled.

“AYYY!” Godson shouted. “IT’S FREAKING CELESTIA!”

Celestia turned her head around quickly, nearly ready to attack the sudden intruder. But then paused as soon as she was able to make out who it was.

“The beast is back…?” Celestia muttered, turning her head back over to Twilight. “You never mentioned the beast returned…”

“Oh. You mean Godson?” Twilight raised an eyebrow. “I thought I mentioned him in one of my letters…?”

“Oh. Right.” Godson chuckled sheepishly. “About that…”

“What’d you do, Godson…” Twilight rolled her eyes, and quickly narrowed them soon after.

“I… uh, kinda made a deal with Spike not to have any mention of me anywhere in your letters.” He responded with a sheepish smile.

“What exactly did he get in return?”

“Uh…” Godson scratched the back of his neck. “...Romance tips?”

“Huh.” Twilight blinked. “That explains his frequent visits to Rarity’s boutique recently…”

“Yep.” Godson nodded. “Pretty much…”

“And… what exactly did you gain by doing so?” Celestia tilted her head to the side.

“The ability to scare the total crap out of you by shouting ‘AYYY, IT’S FREAKING CELESTIA’.” Godson deadpanned.

The two alicorns sighed over the human’s response.

“So what are you doing here anyway?” Godson asked curiously.

“I felt a large amount of magical disturban—”

“I blame Twilight.”

“What!?” Twilight exclaimed. “What did I do!?”

“Screw something up?” Godson shrugged. “I dunno, considering you left me frozen for nearly the whole day, I’m just gonna blame you for whatever magical disturbance Celestia felt.”

“And who’s fault was that for you being frozen?”

“Yours.” Godson rolled his eyes.

“...Oh right…”

“So, I guess you fixed the magical disturbance?” Godson looked up to the larger mare.

“...For the most part, yes.” Celestia nodded.

“Great.” Godson nodded back. “...That’s cool…” Soon after, a wave of awkward silence flooded the room. Even Dash, who was still standing outside, had no idea what to say next to end the silence.

Then, Godson spoke up once more. “So… how’s Luna? You two still making rigged bets?”

Celestia laughed softly. “Sometimes.”

“How many bets have you two made since the last time we’ve met?”

“Oh… about twenty-one times?” Celestia guessed. “I think that’s about right.”

“Heh. That’s kinda funny, actually.” Godson commented.

“What about you? If I recall correctly, you were dared to take over Equestria.” Celestia pointed out. “How’d that turn out with your friends?”

“Well. He didn’t believe me at first. But let’s just say he owes me some money, now…” Godson explained.

“So, what brings you back to Equestria, then?” Celestia raised an eyebrow. “Planning to finish some large dare again?”

“Actually… I’ve been stuck here for about… four and a half months? Yeah, seems about right.”

“Oh?”

“I blame Twilight.”

“Of course you do…” Twilight rolled her eyes.

“I assume she’s been helping you find a way back home, then?” Celestia inquired.

“You assume wrong, Celestia.” Godson shook his head. “Actually, I told her to just forget about it. I’ve actually made a living here in Equestria, now.”

“Is that so?” Celestia cocked her head to the side.

“Yeah.” Godson nodded. “In fact, I’ve even been dating somepony.”

“Allow me to guess…” Celestia narrowed her eyes. “Despite all the blaming, you’re dating Twilight?”

“What!?” The two shouted in shock.

As they were about to argue, Celestia simply laughed at their reaction. “Relax, I’m only teasing.” Despite her laughing, she soon focused on another thought. “Although, I’m surprised to hear somepony has taken an interest in you.”

“...Is that an insult?” Godson raised an eyebrow.

“It could be…” Celestia smirked softly.

Godson scratched the back of his head. “I’m… not sure how to feel about that.”

“In all seriousness, however.” Celestia placed a thinking hoof on her chin. “A human-pony couple is something I wasn’t expecting to hear from you, especially after finding out you’ve been here for so long without my knowledge…”

“Is there a problem with that?”

“Not at all.” Celestia shook her head. “If anything, you’ve earned my respect.”

“Huh?”

Celestia nodded. “You were able to spend four and a half months in Equestria without any mention of you at all to me. That has to be worth something.”

“So basically you’re calling me a ninja?”

“...No?” Celestia spoke. “That’s not at all what I was saying…”

“Oh.” Godson blinked. “Wait. Then, what were you saying?”

“I’m saying you went through all this trouble of making sure I wouldn’t know you were here, waited for me to arrive here one day, just to scare the daylights out of me.”

“...And?”

“...That was quite an excellent prank.” Celestia giggled.

“...What?” Twilight and Godson blinked dumbfoundedly.

“I’ve pulled so many pranks on Luna before, and they were nothing as large scaled as yours.” Celestia pointed out.

“Where are you going with this, Celestia?” Godson crossed his arms.

“...I may require your assistance in pranking Luna.”

“So… let me just catch up on what just happened…” Dash spoke slowly. “Princess Celestia... wants you… to help her prank Princess Luna tomorrow? Did I hear her right?”

“I’m having a hard time believing it myself…” Godson replied. “But… yeah, I think so…”

“Huh…” Dash blinked. “That’s… actually pretty funny.”

“It’s also a bit nerve-wracking…” Godson sighed. “Now I’m expected not to fail in front of Celestia.”

“Oh, please.” Dash rolled her eyes. “If you can handle not being noticed by Celestia for four and a half months, I’m pretty sure you can easily do the same to Luna.”

“Are you implying I’m not important enough to not—”

“No I’m not!” Dash interrupted. “I’m saying that you were able to avoid any mention of you ever to Celestia for four and a half months, I don’t know how you did it, and I really don’t care how to be honest. But you did it. I’m pretty sure you can just as easily stay out of Luna’s radar for however long you and Celestia plan for.”

“Are you impl—”

“No!”

“Did that bother you?”

“Very much so!”

“That means it worked.”

“GODSON, YOU IDIOT!”