How I Lived In Equestria

“Why did I ever think this was a good idea?” Godson thought to himself. Holding back a groan as he and Celestia rode her carriage back to Canterlot.

The only problem was, since there was no room for him, and Celestia wanted to sneak him into Canterlot without anypony noticing, even her own royal guard, so she came up with an idea.

She’d magically glue him to the bottom of the carriage.

And she did.

As the carriage finally made it’s way back in front of the castle, it slowly set a collision course back to the ground, something that frightened the human.

“I swear to God if the bottom of this carriage hits or even scrapes into something, I’m gonna go to Equestrian jail for assassinating Celestia.” Godson thought. “...Does Equestria even have a jail? Oh wait, that’s tartarus. No, wait... that’s their equivalent of hell…”

Fortunately for him, as he was having a nice, pleasant conversation with the back of his mind, the human had soon zoned out to the point where he didn’t even realize they had already landed.

“Would you like us to accompany you back to the castle, Princess?” asked the Guards.

“No, I’m sure I’ll be fine on my own.”

“As you wish.”

Godson snapped out of his daze, his view instantly blocked by the ground mere inches below him. He could hear hoofsteps slowly fade away as they got farther and farther away, until eventually, they had left entirely.

Suddenly, he felt an odd feeling in his body, and in a matter of seconds, he began to obey the laws of gravity once more, and fall back onto the ground.

Raising his head slowly, and just enough to avoid contact with the carriage above him, he noticed said carriage moving forwards, until it no longer covered him anymore.

“I still don’t understand why you had to glue me to the carriage” Godson whined.

“Well, there wasn’t exactly enough room for you to fit up here…” Celestia rolled her eyes. “And I needed some way of bringing you here without the guards noticing. Plus, it was funny seeing you freak out while you were stuck to the bottom of the carriage…”

“If you weren’t a Princess, and, y’know, didn’t control the sun… You’d so be dead right now…” Godson grumbled, slowly standing up.

“Mhm.” Celestia nodded. “Sure.”

“So what exactly do you have planned for this ‘massive prank’, anyway?” Godson impatiently raised an eyebrow.

“Um, right…” Celestia placed a hoof on her chin. “I was thinking we could do something similar to what you did to me…”

“You mean like when I scared the daylights out of you?” Godson crossed his arms. “So, what, I’m gonna scare the moonlights out of her?” He quickly shook his head. “No, that’s too basic.”

“Oh, and I suppose you have something better?” Celestia raised an eyebrow.

“When you’re dating someone who pranks a crapton, you tend to pick up on a few things…” Godson shrugged.

“Speaking of your love life…” Celestia cut in. “...You never exactly mentioned who exactly you’re with…”

“That doesn’t matter right now.” Godson shook his head once more. “What does matter, however, is this prank needs to be just as large scaled as not ever being mentioned to you in the four and a half months I’ve lived in Equestria.”

“Alright then.” Celestia nodded. “Let’s hear it. Let’s hear this large scaled prank you have planned.”

“I…” Godson uttered, quickly trying to find an idea to throw before he’d look like an idiot, but ultimately failed. “...uh… don’t exactly have anything planned at this very second…”

“Uh-huh.” Celestia nodded slowly. “I thought as much. So unless you come up with an ide—”

“I got it!” Godson interrupted.

“So quick?” Celestia jerked her head back. “I thought it would’ve took you longer than that…”

“Eh. I’m known for having random ideas at the most random times.” Godson shrugged. “How do you think I managed to get the Elements of Harmony so easily in an attempt to take over Equestria?” He raised an eyebrow. “Or do you not remember that incident?”

“Oh, I remember it clearly.” Celestia smirked. “I also remember you running like a filly as the girls nearly blasted you with them.”

“I’m still not entirely sure how I lived through that…” Godson scratched the back of his neck. He soon heard a soft laugh from the alicorn mare in front of him, and quickly shrugged it off.

“Anyway.” He shook his head. “I like where you went with the whole ‘scaring Luna’, thing, but I don’t think it’s enough.”

“How so?”

“How about something like, you turn me invisible for a bit so the guards don’t see me, and just stuff me in some room, and then you lure Luna into that room, and then I scare her.” Godson thought aloud.

“...That’s it?” Celestia blinked. “That’s your large scale prank?”

“What?” Godson crossed his arms. “It’s the best I could do on such short notice…”

“If we’re gonna going to make this a large scale thing, it needs to be big. Like, ‘stealing her crown’ big.” Celestia pointed out.

“That might work, actually.” Godson commented.

“Allow me to guess, you have another idea?”

“Well, you’ve inspired me. What can I say?” Godson shrugged. “I think I’ve finally got it now.”

“Let’s hear it.”

“You turn me invisible, stuff me a room, et cetera, et cetera.” Godson rolled his eyes. “That part’s still the same, but. You talk to Luna about how your trip to Ponyville was, or, something… I don’t really care.” He made a vague gesture with his hands. “And then as you leave the room, you turn invisible, and you float Luna’s crown all the way to my room. She’ll be chasing it all the way to me, and when she opens the door I’ll just be sitting back on a chair, wearing her crown, and just being chill about everything.”

“That’s…” Celestia spoke softly. “...Actually a great idea! I can imagine the look on her face, already. Beast, that’s the most—”

“I’m also going to need a banana.”

“What?”

“A banana.” Godson deadpanned. “Do you not have those in this world?”

“We do…” Celestia nodded. “But… what difference will that ma—”

“I neeeed. A banaaaaana.”

“Bu—”

“CELESTIA DON’T QUESTION MY LOGIC AND JUST GIVE ME MY BANANA!

Luna sat down on her throne, groaning softly at the lack of events happening recently. Besides Celestia taking a visit to Ponyville over some “magical disturbance”, almost nothing significant happened. It was almost as boring compared to eight and a half months ago, when that “beast” arrived, and they helped him in completing a dare against his friends.

She could only wonder where he is now, and what’s happened to him since then.

He made things entertaining, even if it was for about a day.

“I’m baaaaack!” Celestia said in a sing-song voice. “Anything interesting happen while I was gone, Luna?”

Luna shook her head. “Absolutely nothing, Sister. I had hoped something would happen in your absence, but to my avail, it was yet another day of sitting on the throne, doing nothing.”

“What about Discord?” Celestia raised an eyebrow. “Couldn’t you have just called him to help make something happen?”

“While a great idea, Sister, I’ve already tried that.”

“And?”

“He made a chocolate rain cloud, and then left.” Luna rolled her eyes with a groan.

“Ah.” Celestia nodded. “Well, my trip to Ponyville wasn’t as exciting as a chocolate rain cloud, but at least Twilight was telling me about a few things she discovered.”

“I assume that’s why you spent the night?”

“Mostly.” Celestia shrugged. “She was telling me about a portal spell she came up with.”

“And how useful did it prove to be?”

“Not very much.” Celestia shook her head. “The portal only seems to be a one way trip.”

“Well, couldn’t you just reca—”

“From the opposite side.”

“Yep.” Luna deadpanned. “That’s useless.”

“Mhm.” Celestia nodded. “Told you.”

“Well.” Luna leaned back on her throne. “I suppose it’s just gonna be another one of those days…”

“I don’t suppose you’re planning another bet just to keep this entertaining, are you?”

“Hm?” Luna raised an eyebrow, then shook her head. “Not today, Sister. Last time I relied on Discord to help me, I don’t think he’d help me out this time.”

“Alright then.” Celestia nodded. “In that case, I’ll just be checking on a few things.”

“That’s fine.” Luna made a shooing gesture with her hoof. “I’ll be here...doing nothing...”

Celestia rolled her eyes at her younger sister’s boredom, and turned around, making her way out the room.

Luna sighed, laying back as she closed her eyes in an attempt to sleep the day away.

Unfortunately, she was unable to do so, as the minute she had closed her eyes, she suddenly felt her crown seem to float away from her head. She looked up, seeing the flying crown above her head, raising an eyebrow, she grabbed it, and placed it back onto her head.

However, it didn’t help at all.

The crown floated away from her head once more, this time, moving away from her.

“What is this foolishness? Crown, get back here at once!” Luna shouted angrily.

Though despite her loud commands. The crown did the complete opposite, and flew away, leaving the room entirely.

At first, she was confused, but then she quickly picked up on what was going on, and chuckled. “Sister…” She walked up to the exit of the room, getting ready to look out to see her sister sitting somewhere, most likely laughing. “If this is another one of your pranks…”

She peeked her head out, looking around, instead of seeing her sister, she saw the crown continuing its trip to who-knows-where.

“Hey! Where do you think you’re going?!” She exclaimed, running towards the crown in a futile attempt to catch the crown. The closer she got, the farther the crown got, every turn it made, she made as well. Eventually though, the crown finally reached a dead end, all that was left was a door and the speeding alicorn rushing towards it.

Determined, Luna maintained her speed, running as fast as she could to grab the crown before it had a chance to react, once she felt she was close enough, she made a leap of faith to grab it while it was still in the air.

Unfortunately, before Luna could even touch it, the crown vanished in a white light, causing her to crash into the door. With a huff, she got up, growling at what might be behind the door.

“Whatever it is you are, I will make sure you learn your lesson…” Luna spoke through her growl, her horn lighting up intensely, as well as placing a hoof on the doorknob, and using all her energy to nearly throw the door open. “for messing with a princess—!” Luna shouted, quickly interrupting herself at the odd sight before her. “...huh?”

That odd sight, was Godson. Casually sitting back on a chair, one leg crossed over the other, as well as her forsakened crown atop his head, while also holding a banana in his hand, ready for peeling.

“Hiya, Moonbutt!” Godson smiled, peeling the banana. “How’s it goin’?” He quickly took a bite, completely careless over the alicorn’s anger.

Luna was completely dumbfounded, trying to process the completely casual look in his face as he ate the banana right in front of her. “W-Wha…?” She stammered. “Beast…? You’ve retur—”

“Shhhhhh…” Godson interrupted. “Let me finish my banana.” He held a finger up with his right hand, signaling her to wait, while he took another bite of the banana on his other hand.

“H-How is this possib—”

“LET ME FINISH MY BANANA!” Godson shouted, completely careless over the fact that he was yelling at a princess.

Luna gave the most dumbfounded look ever, giving up on trying to process his casualness, but now simply trying to process the entire situation altogether.

Godson threw the final piece of the banana into his mouth, still holding his finger up as he chewed, and ultimately, swallowed the banana.

He pointed at her, more importantly, her face, and spoke. “Is that the face you were imagining, Celestia?” He instantly broke into a fit of laughter. “Because that’s perfect!”

Before Luna can even utter a word, she heard a loud thump. She looked to her right, and suddenly noticed her older sister, quickly fading back into reality as she had fallen on her side, failing to control her own laughter.

“That was amazing!” Celestia breathed. “I don’t know how you kept that act going, but that was Grade-A perfect!”

Luna jerked her head back, her eyes widening as she watched the two laugh like maniacs.

“H-Huh!?” She dumbfoundedly spoke. “How is it that you’ve returned!?”

Godson attempted to stifle his laughter enough to get a few words out. “Let’s just say Twilight’s portal spell isn’t as useless as you think it is.”

If it were possible, Luna’s eyes would be the size of basketballs, but unfortunately the laughing duo weren’t graced to be able to see such a sight. “Celestia brought you back just for a prank!?”

“Heh.” Godson’s laughter died down, while Celestia still kept laughing as much as a hyena. “Nah. I would be pissed at her if she did. You can blame her student, though.”

“Twilight brought you back?”

“Yep. Can we make that a hashtag? Hashtag blame Twilight?” Godson placed a thinking hand on his chin. “I feel that would be so appropriate right now...”

“Wha—”

“Don’t ask what it is, because I’m not in the mood for explaining things from my world.”

Eventually, Celestia’s laughter finally died down, and she stood up once more. “Oh, geez. That was hilarious… I owe you. This has been the most hilarious thing I’ve been a part of in a long time.”

Godson raised an eyebrow. “Woah, I wasn’t expecting you to owe me anything… I was just doing this just because I could.”

“So you’re saying you don—”

“I’LL GLADLY TAKE YOUR PAYMENTS!

“That’s what I thought.” Celestia giggled, trying not to burst into laughter again.

“Besides…” Godson shrugged. “Four and a half months of being in Equestria and working for Pinkie for most of that time, I could probably use a vacation with my marefriend.”

“Deal.” Celestia winked.

“FOUR AND A HALF MONTHS!?” Luna gawked in shock, causing her sister to begin laughing once more, although not enough to have her fall on the floor.

“Welp.” Godson stood from his chair, placing Luna’s crown back onto her head. “My work here is done.” He quickly made his way out the room. “I’ll be waiting outside so you can take me back home, Celestia.”

Celestia nodded, her laughter slowly dying down once again, as Luna continued to dumbfoundedly stare at the human.

“Oh, and by the way.” Godson spoke loudly from afar. “I’m officially dating Rainbow Dash!”

“You’re what?!” Luna’s pupils shrunk, leaving Celestia to break into a fit of laughter once more.

But then, she immediately realized what he said.

“YOU’RE WHAT!?”