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Peacevic the Rapper in...
The Serious Situation Involving the Stolen Studio Equipment
The Serious Situation Involving the Stolen Studio Equipment
Everything seemed absolutely normal to Peacevic as he opened the door to the studio.
Until Vinyl Scratch ran to meet him, shades missing, her eyes slightly frantic. "P-Vic, it's gone! It's all gone!"
"Calm down, Vinyl." He soothed. "Chill. Now tell me, what is gone?"
"Everything! The mics, the mix boards, they even took the extra cables! Buck!"
Peacevic took a seat in the lobby. His collaborator was right to panic. Without all that stuff, he couldn't record. DJ Pon-3 couldn't provide her always-fresh beats. And there was another, worse thing. "We have to get that stuff back, Vinyl. Octavia's coming in two days."
"Octy's coming here? To work with you?" Vinyl was nearly bowled over by that.
Peacevic scowled at her. "We can be professional."
"Sure, sure." She nodded. "Okay, so we call the police."
"No way."
"Why not?" Vinyl demanded.
"If Octavia hears about this, she's not going to come at all." He replied. "You know how she is. I'll find out who stole our stuff."
Vinyl pointed a hoof at him, pointedly. "You?"
"Hey, I helped solve a murder." He said defensively.
Vinyl tilted her head to the side. "You did?"
"You did?"
They both turned in the direction of the new voice. Standing at the door was a grey-green pegasus with a platinum mane and tail. A single streak of red fell down the right side of her mane, with one of black running down her tail. She had a satchel slung on one shoulder and carried a small recorder in a hoof.
She was also barely old enough to be called a mare.
She smiled. "Not the best time to be reminded about your interview, is it?"
Peacevic had indeed forgotten about that, mostly because he'd agreed to it a few weeks ago. He didn't care then, and now he definitely had more important things to worry about. "Yeah, we're going to have to cancel that, Miss..."
"Soft Lob, and why in Equestria would we cancel?"
"I'm kind of in the middle of something." Peacevic was starting to regret giving Ice the morning off. The big guy was great at repelling reporters.
"Exactly!" Soft Lob's eyes were so lit up that they were almost blinding. "Action! Intrigue! Famous people! This article's going to rock!"
Peacevic facehoofed. "You're new, aren't you?"
"Uh... yeah. This will be my first article. How could you tell?"
"Well, setting aside the fact that you look like you're late for class, you actually think I'm going to be cooperative." He pointed at the door. "I'm not. Go away."
Soft Lob started to respond, but Peacevic just motioned for Vinyl to follow him and walked out of the lobby.
Vinyl hadn't been kidding when she told him they'd been cleaned out. The recording area was almost entirely bare, the ransackers ripping some of the outlets off the walls in their haste. They even tracked some mud on the carpets.
Luckily.
"See! Everything's gone!"
"Well you can calm down now, Vinyl. I've already solved the case. I know who did it." He flashed a grin her way.
Soft Lob's voice came from the hallway. "Really?!"
"Are you still here?" Peacevic poked his head out of the room to check.
She was indeed still there, and she nodded vigorously to reinforce that fact. "Yep. Everypony says I'm nothing if not persistent."
"Focus, Peacevic." Vinyl tugged him telekinetically back into the recording room by his tail. "She'll go away if you ignore her. Now, how do you know who did it?"
"Easy. The hoofprints." He pointed them out.
"Wow. You've successfully deduced that one or more of the vandals is a pony." Vinyl seemed suitably impressed.
Peacevic didn't let her negativity get him down. "Yeah, I did. And I only know one pony who branded his own hoof."
"Wait, what?" The DJ reexamined the tracks. "Oh, you're right. This one has something on it."
"So what are you going to do now?" Soft Lob stuck her head through the door to ask.
"Vinyl, you be here in two days. I should have the stuff back by then." He didn't turn to look at the reporter. "I'm going to go take a nap. I've got a show to catch tonight."
The show was packed, for one of its kind. The fact that the tickets were dirt cheap probably helped.
"Peacevic, over here!" A bubbly hoof waved at him above the crowd.
As Soft Lob made her way through the throngs of ponies, Peacevic tried to wrap his head around her presence. "Wha- how? I specifically didn't tell you where I was going!"
"Have you seen me?" She gestured at herself. "Of course I'm in to death metal. Have you checked out the pit yet? It's bucking crazy! Pretty sure I cracked a hoof."
He supposed it wasn't too shocking. She did have the look, and the audience for death metal was predominately pegasi.
"Oi! Oo let dat knob inere?!"
"Just the pony I was looking for." Peacevic murmured to himself as he turned to face the wiry whipcord of a white pegasus who'd shouted. Then he shouted back. "Flying Tooth! So glad to see you haven't gotten over that whole 'Trottingham lower class' thing yet."
Flying Tooth came out of his seat at that, to the chagrin of the twin mares flanking him. "You takin' de piss? Owbout I come over dere and rip dat orn off yeread!?"
"Simmer down, stick figure." Peacevic crossed over to stand in front of Tooth's table. "I'm just looking for your drummer. Where's Death Hoof?"
"Aven't seen Deaf since we chuckedim out de group, and even if I `ad I bloody well wouldn't tell you, would I?"
Soft Lob had been fidgeting from the moment she saw Flying Tooth and, finally, she couldn't restrain herself anymore. "Mr. Tooth, I have to say I'm a huge, huge fan! Can I have your autograph!?"
"Are you really a fan of his?"
"Uh, duh!" She gushed. "He's only the most brutal screamer in the entire scene, bar none."
Peacevic narrowed his eyes in annoyance. "You weren't this hyped to meet me."
She shrugged. "I'm sure you're good at what you do, too. I just don't listen to rap."
"`Oo's de girl?" Tooth cut in. "Little young, innit she?"
"She writing an article on me. You know, 'cause ponies actually care about my genre of music. Besides, you're one to talk. You sure they're legal?" Peacevic pointed to the two grey pegasi on either side of Tooth.
"Yeah." Then Flying Tooth looked concerned and turned to the mare on his left. "Right?" She nodded, but he frowned and shooed the two away. They shot a few daggers at Peacevic as they left.
But with them gone, Flying Tooth visibly relaxed. He even offered their seats to the two still-standing ponies. Peacevic took the one on the right and leaned toward his only lead. "Look Tooth, if anypony gets the loyalty thing, it's me. But your buddy stole a bunch of studio equipment from me, and I need to get it back before Octavia gets here."
"You tellin' me Octavia's coming ta Canterlot ta record wit' you?" Tooth started laughing hysterically. "I'd bloody pay ta see dat! Bet'cha she starts chewing you out de second she walks dru de door."
Peacevic threw his hooves up in frustration. "Why does nopony think we can be professional?!"
"Cuz you bloody can't!" Tooth had one final laugh, then his mood sobered. "Last Ieard, Deaf wuz squirreled up in de ware'ouse district wit' some weirdo squatter community. E might still be dere. Now git outaere. My night's ruined cuza you."
At Flying Tooth's dismissive wave, they left. Peacevic chose to exit out the back, reasoning that they were less likely to be accosted by the general public if they went through the alley. Plus it would give him a chance to talk with his backup.
"No luck?" Ice shot over Soft Lob and circled Peacevic.
"No, he wasn't there." Peacevic was used to Ice doing this, and therefore he kept his head looking straight forward. "But Tooth was able to point us in the right direction, hopefully."
Ice seemed like he was going to say something else, but instead he stopped dead in front of Peacevic. He looked confused.
"The Troubadour..."
Peacevic snapped his head around in the direction Ice was facing. He hadn't heard anypony use that term since...
A shadowy pony stood a short distance down the alley, features obscured by a cloak. As Peacevic watched, two more similarly adorned ponies materialized beside the first. Another four blocked the way behind them.
"Sir, please advise."
"Not friendly, Ice." Peacevic moved Soft Lob so that she was between him and his bodyguard. "Definitely not friendly."
The cloaked ponies all menacingly stepped toward them.
"Well, well, well, wut do we aveere?"
All ten of them turned to see Flying Tooth, flanked by two of his bandmates, casually stroll into the alley. "I step out ta indulge some o' my vices and I come upon a row `bout ta break out. Quite lucky if ya ask me."
"There must be no witnesses to the sacrifice." The pony to the right of the first shadowy figure urgently stage-whispered to the apparent leader.
Leader-pony nodded. "Begone."
"Far be it from me ta interfere wit' a fair fight." Flying Tooth's ear had twitched when he heard the word 'sacrifice', but his face stayed smugly neutral. He point at Peacevic. "But dere ain't no way I'm missin' a chance ta see im getis plot kicked in. I'll stay right `ere."
Fair? Peacevic thought Tooth was overestimating their chances a little. Ice could take three at a time, and could escape if he needed to, but that still left four to overwhelm him and Soft Lob. The math didn't work out too well.
It's a good thing evil henchponies are usually really dumb.
The same jittery pony who'd spoken up earlier burst out yet again. "Why don't you go and play your black metal someplace else!"
Peacevic sucked his teeth. "Exact wrong thing to say."
"Black metal?!" Tooth's eyes blazed with rage. "Black metal?! You dink I'm wunna dose emo tossers?! Nah, de game's changed now." He looked the rapper's way. "Peacevic, looks ta me like dere's room in your lineup if de lady reporter sits out. Mind if me and my boys step in?"
"I won't say no."
And like that, Tooth dove at the nearest cloaked pony. The fight was on.
It may have been even, from a numbers perspective, but the fight was far from fair. To fight a pegasus, you have to be prepared to fight a pegasus. This means being ready to receive an attack from any of five different directions. Now, maybe the cloaked ponies were up for facing Ice.
But they were in no way ready for a death metal band.
In short order almost all of the shadow ponies were on the ground, some with cracked jaws and broken ribs. A glow emanated from under the hood of the final cloak-filler, most likely coming off a horn, and the beaten ponies faded away. The victors stood alone in the alley, panting from the exertion.
"Peacevic..."
"Yeah, yeah, I know." The rapper interrupted. "You didn't do it for me, we're not friends. Blah blah blah."
Tooth shook his head. "Obviously. Dat's not wut I wanted ta ask. You really goin' back in de studio?"
"Yeah."
"So soon? Aintcha worried `bout oversaturation?"
Peacevic shrugged. "Not really. I have a bigger market, so I can afford to put more out."
After thinking on that for a bit, Tooth gave a shrug of his own and left, his bandmates in tow. Peacevic turned his attention to Soft Lob.
"What was that?" She asked.
Peacevic shot a glance in the direction Flying Tooth had gone. "Three parts competitive nature, two parts stylistic rivalry, and one part artistic camaraderie."
"No, I mean who were those ponies?" Soft Lob was obviously shaken, as anypony would be after being attacked in an alley. Anypony who wasn't crazy or used to it. Or both. "Why'd they attack you?"
It was a natural question to ask, but that didn't mean Peacevic had to answer it. "That's none of your business. If you try to print a word of what happened just now, I'll deny it and sue your magazine. Your career will be over before it begins."
"Sir, I feel this is something I should know-"
"I'll brief you later." Peacevic snapped. "For now, let's get to that stupid warehouse."
Over the objections of his bodyguard, who thought that it was too dangerous, Peacevic boldly marched into the ware house Flying Tooth had told them about. If his hunch was right, it'd be deserted. If not... well that's why he had Ice with him.
Unfortunately, his hunch was a correct one.
There was nopony around, though it was clear from the mess that was a recent development. Bed rolls and cooking kits were scattered about. In the center of the building a barrel fire was dying down. A very familiar rune was painted on the western wall.
"Buck..." Peacevic whispered to himself. That same symbol.
Sir, all the equipment is here." Ice came to a halt when he saw what his employer was staring at. "What is that?"
"Something that should have been forgotten centuries ago."
Ice flitted closer to the giant rune. "It looks like Sun Writing, but I don't know what this one means."
"I was... forced to learn it. Back before I hired you. It'll be part of your briefing. Now stop looking at it." The rapper used his magic to turn Ice around.
"If that is painted in blood, this is going to be the best article ever!"
Peacevic and his bodyguard both looked at the grinning journalist. "I told you you're not allowed to write anything about this."
"Whatever, you're not my editor." She started to draw a rough sketch of the rune on a pad of paper she produced from her satchel.
"I'll sue." Peacevic wrenched the pad from her grasp and ripped it to shreds telekinetically. "You'll be out of a job!"
"And rolling in all the bits I'll make from the book deal."
Peacevic sighed. The night had been too long, violent, and retrospective for him to argue with her. "What do you want? What'll it take for you to ignore this stuff?"
"To ignore a story this juicy...?" Soft Lob pursed her lips. "I'm thinking exclusive access to your recording process."
"But that's-"
"The precious enigma you love so much, yes. But that's the price."
"Fine." He growled. "But on my terms."
"Excellent! See you in a couple days. Well, a day and a half. Technically." She waved and started to leave.
"Hold on, that's when-"
She nodded. "Yep. I'm going to be there when this Octavia shows up. From how everypony's been talking, this should be really interesting."
"You agreed to do this on my terms!" Peacevic protested.
"'On your terms' doesn't apply to this bit." She started to leave again. "Unless you want the whole country to hear about your problems with weirdo cult ponies."
Both rapper and bodyguard were silent for a few moments in the wake of her departure.
"You got beat by a reporter."
Shut up, Ice."
Peacevic was deliberately not talking to Soft Lob when Vinyl led Octavia into the studio.
"It's been a while, Octavia." He went to give the cellist a hug.
And she threw a stack of paper in his face. "I've been reading the lyrics. This is about us, isn't it?! You thought I was holding you back!"
"Dude, it's not about us, I swear."
"Don't 'dude' me, you- you-" She was so mad her brain couldn't keep up.
Vinyl leaned over. "Call him a cretin."
"You cretin!"
"Vinyl, you're not helping!"
"Hey, she's my roommate. I'm on her side." The DJ sarcastically patted Peacevic on his shoulder and walked over to stand by Soft Lob.
For her part, the reporter was looking confused. "Why is she so pissed?"
"They're divorced." Vinyl winked at her. "Arguing is just about all they do."
Lob's jaw dropped. "Peacevic was married?!"
"I'll have you know that if anypony was holding our relationship back, it's you! I'm ten times the artist you are!" Octavia jabbed a forehoof at Peacevic's chest.
"Oh really?! Who outsold who for the last three years running?"
Octavia scoffed. "You can't really consider album sales as a measure of artistic merit."
"You can if you believe art is something that should be enjoyed!" Peacevic stomped in frustration. It was an old argument.
"Guys, if I can interrupt?" Vinyl knew they were going to be here all day if she didn't step in. "Maybe we could get to work before we all die of old age. Or somepony calls the cops."
Silently, with glares abounding, everypony went to their places. Octavia and her cello stepped up to the mic, while Vinyl, Peacevic, and Soft Lob crammed into the control room. The reporter quickly whispered to Peacevic. "You and her? How did you two ever get married?"
He didn't answer. Actually, he couldn't. Him and Octavia had never been something that could be explained in more than two words.
Despite any animosity she may have felt, when tracking began Octavia transformed. Her performance was perfect on a technical level, and there wasn't a trace of stiffness. Objections over the lyrics aside, it was clear she'd been practicing.
Octavia nailed it on the first go, but they continued re-recording her bits for the next few hours. Finally, everypony was satisfied. Octavia and Soft Lob left Vinyl and Peacevic to work on the mix.
"I think that's it, Peace. First song's done."
"One more time. Just so we're sure." He hit play on the file marked 'Earthbound'.
Author's Note
Writing accents is hard. That said, I kind of like how Flying Tooth turned out.
Peacevic the Rapper in...
Ice's Day Off
"Nah, there's nothing good."
Ice Cold looked up from the rack he'd been perusing. Sus was walking towards him, looking dejected. The pegasus held up an issue of Power Ponies that'd caught his eye. "Well, what about this? It's new."
"It's from last week, dude. I got it when it came out," Sus told him.
"You're the one who suggested we come here the day before New Comic Book Day."
Sus sighed. "I was hoping I'd missed one..."
"You thought you missed one? You're the most manic collector I know."
"I think I'm the only comics collector you know." Sus started rifling through the rack Ice had been looking at, even though he'd already done so before. "It's not exactly Peacevic's thing, is it?"
Ice shrugged. "My sister collects Daring Do books, but I don't know about comics. I- aw, buck! She's in town, and I promised to meet her for lunch. I gotta go."
"Is your sister hot?" Sus flicked his mane out of his eyes and grinned. "'Cause if she is, I can come with..."
"Stump, I will stuff you into one of these displays," Ice growled.
SusP.E.C.T. just laughed as Ice hurriedly bought the issue he'd picked up and left the store.
"You're late!"
"So nice to see you too, Rainbow." It was rare to find another pony who shared his habit of hovering instead of standing, especially in the mostly-unicorn city of Canterlot, but his sister was one of them. He gave a small incline of his head.
As one, they both bolted to their table.
Rainbow Dash was able to get there just a eighth of a second sooner, as always. "Aw yeah! Who's the best? Who's the best? Rainbow Dash is the best!"
Ice smiled as his little sister posed. Though he'd never let her win, it always made him so proud whenever she outdid him. But her humility could use a little work. "So, best pony, have you seen Mom and Dad recently?"
"Yeah." Rainbow stopped posing and settled into her seat. "Had dinner with them last week."
"How were they?"
"Great, until I made the mistake of telling 'em I was having lunch with you." A waiter came to take their orders, interrupting Dash. Minutes later, the waiter left and Rainbow resumed her complaint. "Then they wouldn't stop."
"Dad still wants me to join the Wonderbolts, huh? Isn't one kid being a member enough?"
"That's what I said! He said he'd settle for you being a guardspony for Celestia if you really didn't want to be a Wonderbolt." Rainbow slumped in her seat, miffed at being so easily swept out of the spotlight.
For his part, Ice would've been glad to let her have it. He liked what he did. "What'd Mom say?"
"She's just wondering when you're gonna start using your degree."
"I'm kind of using it." Ice shrugged. "If you look at things a certain way."
Just then, Ice caught sight of his employer. Peacevic was at the other end of the outside dining area, his head whipping around frantically as he scanned the block. He spotted Ice and jogged over.
"Ice! Did you see a pony run by?! He would've been carrying a falcon in a cage."
"No..." Ice gesture in Rainbow's direction. "Sir this is my sister, Rainbow Dash."
"Awesome. Great to meet you. Gotta go!" Peacevic shot off again without another word.
"Was that your boss?"
Ice nodded. "Yep."
"He's weird," Rainbow informed her brother.
"I know," he agreed, "but that's what makes him fun to work for."
She frowned. "He's got Twilight acting weird, too. Ever since Trixie and her had that meeting with him. She won't tell me what's up, either."
"Rainbow, I can't talk about that. Mostly because I don't really know the whole story." Ice hated keeping his sister out of the loop, but it was out of his hooves. Aside from what he'd overheard at the meeting, Peacevic had yet to follow up on his promise to give his bodyguard the details. Which was a problem, Ice decided, that was going to be rectified soon.
"Just tell me," Dash urged, "is Twilight in some kind of trouble?"
"I think they both are, Rainbow. I think they did something to somepony, or somepony did something to them, and now everything's catching up."
Dash set her face into a look of grim determination. "Then we'll just have to protect them, won't we?"
"Obviously."
Peacevic could usually be counted on to be in the studio while he was in the process of recording, to the point where he often slept there at night. That habit, and the fact that he was almost always away from Canterlot, made Ice wonder why he even bothered owning a home in the city.
But that habit also made it fairly easy for Ice to find the rapper, who was currently on the lobby couch, reading a book. A caged falcon took up a corner.
"Ice," Peacevic greeted without looking up, "your day day off isn't over yet. What's up?"
"You said you'd explain why I had to help you fight off a bunch of hooded ponies. And the rune."
Peacevic absent-mindedly waved a hoof. "Yeah, I will. At some point."
"How about know." Ice, by virtue of the fact that he never stopped hovering, was now looming over his employer.
The rapper looked up in annoyance, then sighed and set the book down. He sat up.
"Fine. I'll tell you everything."
Peacevic the Rapper in...
Memories Made Many Moons Ago
Memories Made Many Moons Ago
Peacevic was having a great night.
Keyword- was. At least until the pipe hit his jaw.
Moments after he collapsed to the pavement, two pairs of hooves grabbed him roughly and hauled him up. Another pony, hooded, stepped out in front of him and rasped, "The Troubadour..."
"I don't know what that word means," Peacevic mumbled drunkenly, "but this isn't exactly the best way to ask for an autograph."
"We need not your voice, Troubadour. Only your blood."
"I'm fairly certain murder is against the law." A purple unicorn trotted around the corner behind Mr. Raspy Voice and lit up her horn, dropping into a ready stance.
Peacevic was dropped to the ground. Scrambling back up to his hooves, he saw the three hooded ponies backing away from the newcomer. Then, seemingly to clear up the rapper's confusion, the apparent leader said why. "The Princess' student!"
The hoods decided it wasn't worth a fight at the moment, especially against the Sun Princess' personally-selected protege, and fled. Once she was satisfied they were actually gone, the purple pony quickly crossed over to stand in front of Peacevic. "Are you okay? My name's Twilight Sparkle."
"Yeah, nice to meet you. Bet you already know who I am."
"Nope." Twilight shook her head. "Should I?"
"Ummm... I'm Peacevic. I'm a rapper. Rising Star of the Canterlot Scene?"
"Oh- sorry, I'm not really interested in rap. I only listen to classical, helps me concentrate while I study." She began to check his head. "Doesn't look like you have a concussion, though I'd recommend seeing a doctor. Can't be too careful with head trauma, at least that's what my books say."
"Are you serious?"
He didn't get an answer as she'd already started strolling away, seemingly lost in thought.
Peacevic jogged to catch up. "Wait a minute, who were those ponies?"
"You're famous, right? They were probably just muggers," Twilight replied, as noncommittally as she could. A pony didn't need to be good at reading body language, which Peacevic was, to know she was hiding something. It was painfully obvious she wasn't used to deceiving others.
"Nope, I don't believe that for a second. So are you going to tell me the truth, or am I going to have to follow you around all night?"
Twilight ground her teeth in irritation. "Alright, I'll tell you. But you can't tell anypony else!"
"Okay, sure." That was fine with Peacevic, he didn't like reporters anyway.
As quickly as she could, she filled him in. Told him of a rash of mysterious sightings and odd thefts. Between his occasional question and her hyper-detailed, almost professorial explanations, it was over twenty minutes before she ran out of steam.
"Well, that's everything and- as it so happens- this is where I'm staying. Have a good night, and hopefully I'll have solved this case before those ponies decide to come after you again."
"Whoa, whoa whoa!" Peacevic hurriedly blocked the door before she could close it in her face. "You can't expect me to hear all that and just walk away!"
"Uh... can't I?" Twilight looked genuinely confused, as if she couldn't imagine anypony taking the situation as seriously as she did.
"No, you can't! Those plot-holes attacked me! With a pipe! If you're going after them, then count me in." Peacevic hoped he sounded as adamant as he did in his head, but truthfully he couldn't tell. His jaw still hurt like a motherbucker.
"But it's-"
"No buts!" The rapper gently, but insistently, pushed past her and trotted into the...
Library?
Don't misjudge Peacevic, he'd gladly crack a book open from time to time. But this was more than a little excessive. Shelf upon shelf all crammed full of thick tomes, with the overflow stacked on the floor in piles taller than either unicorn.
In fact, the only area not drowning in books was the space immediately in front of a tackboard. Said tackboard was smothered in newspaper clippings and messily-written notes. And a map.
"You're pretty late getting home, Twilight. What were you-" The speaker, a tiny purple dragon currently trying to wrangle the madness-inducing amount of books, abruptly stopped talking when he turned around and saw who was accompanying his co-inhabitant. His eyes went buggy. "Twilight, why is Peacevic with you?! Are you two hooking up?!"
"Spike, you're too young to know that phrase!" Twilight's face flushed red.
Peacevic couldn't help it, he just had to laugh.
"I'm not a baby anymore, Twilight! I- you know what, just forget it." Spike the dragon had clearly voiced this protest before and, judging by his dropping the subject, it hadn't made much of a difference. Plus, he probably didn't want one of the coolest ponies in Canterlot to see him whine. "So why is he here? Oh, I mean- no offense, Mr Peacevic. Uh, sir."
"Not a knight, Spike, and no offense taken." Peacevic liked the little guy. He leaned over to Spike and stage-whispered, "Between you and me? Twilight's super-cute and all, but she's not really my type."
Twilight glared at the other unicorn. He hadn't been all that quiet. "Peacevic was attacked by some hooded ponies, that's why he's here. That and the fact he won't go away."
"Really? So Twilight's not going crazy and there really are weirdo ponies running around?"
Peacevic shrugged. "I can't speak for her general mental health, but she's right about this."
"I'm not crazy! I took a test!"
"Did you administer the test yourself?" When she didn't answer, Peacevic continued, "'Cause it doesn't count if you administered it yourself."
Twilight growled and stalked over to the map. "These tacks represent the site of each of the sightings and robberies, the dates of the events, and the approximate times the events took place. Thus far I've been unable to figure out any correlation between the events. They seem to happen at random intervals, and there's also no logical pattern when it comes to location. A hooded pony will be seen in one district, then the next night it'll be somewhere completely different."
"Does the picture mean anything?"
"Huh?"
Peacevic pointed at Twilight's map. "If you look at the events all together they look like a symbol, or something. Does that symbol mean anything?"
Twilight stared at Peacevic in shock for a few moments, looked at the map, then looked again at Peacevic. Then she grabbed a quill and some parchment and started copying the pattern down.
"Ha! Not just some dumb rapper, am I?"
"Shut up!" She blushed again. "I'd have thought of it... eventually."
He grinned at her. "Don't feel bad, Twilight. Sometimes you just need a creative thinker like me to put everything together."
"I've got some creative things I can think of doing to you."
"Yeah, I bet you do."
"Wait, what does that mean?" Spike scratched his head.
"Never mind!" She passed one of the copies to the little dragon. "Just- just start searching through the reference books for anything matching this symbol."
Peacevic took a copy for himself. "Where should I start?"
"Try Equscan Pottery. It's on the far end over there." She nodded in the proper direction, already busy searching her own section.
Nothing.
Hours of carefully scanning every page, of pouring over every possibly related book, and they hadn't found a single match.
"I guess it wasn't that great an idea after all," Peacevic conceded, trying at the same time to stifle a yawn.
"Not necessarily." Twilight was just as bleary-eyed as the rapper, having lost her source of caffeine when Spike went to bed. "It could be we just don't have the right book."
"If you don't have the book we need, who could?"
"The Princess might. I'll send her a letter after I get a few hours of sleep. You should rest as well, you're looking a little rough."
"Well excuse me, Miss Canterlot four years running." Peacevic gave a little 'hmmph'.
"No, I just meant-"
"I know, Twilight, I know." He held up a hoof to cut her off. "I'm just messing with you."
Twilight scowled. "Well, don't. I'm too tired for that."
"We both are, that joke was pretty bad. See you in a couple hours."
The sleep was good, what little he got. Quality aside, the quantity simply wasn't there and it seemed he had just drifted off when Twilight shook him awake again. "Get up, Peacevic. Celestia's sent a reply."
"Already? How long was I out?" he asked, massaging his jaw. The pain was almost gone, all that was left was a dull ache. "And is there any coffee? I need about... a pot."
Twilight made little check marks in the air as she replied, "Yes, about five hours, and yes. Spike made two pots."
"Good. Speaking of, how the buck do you have a dragon living with you?"
"I'm sure I'll tell you at some point, but right now we kinda have more important things to worry about." She waggled a scroll at him with her magic.
Peacevic sighed. "Alright. Let me grab a cup and then we'll hear what Sun-butt has to say."
"Don't call her that! Celestia's the Princess, and she deserves your respect."
"I respect the buck out of her flank."
"I- Gah!" Twilight winced. "I don't even want to think of-"
"Am I gonna get to meet her, by the way?"
"No!"
"That is just incredibly weak." Peacevic stood and stretched with a groan. "I need all of the coffee, post haste."
The two of them adjourned to the tiny dining area, where they proceeded to guzzle copious amounts of thick black coffee. To a pony observing from outside, it would almost seem as if they were racing each other. Of course, if there was somepony watching neither would notice.
After finishing off the two pots, and a third one that Spike had wisely made up when he saw how fast the others were going, it was mail time. Peacevic settled back in his seat and gave Twilight his undivided attention as she unrolled the Princess' letter.
"My Dearest Twilight... A short time ago, I told you I had once made a terrible mistake. You may not remember, as the mention was made cryptically and in passing, and I can only hope my reticence in discussing it was not yet another mistake. The rune you sent me was once part of my Writing, and it signifies Immortality. I stress the word once, as I very quickly realized what some ponies were willing to do with it and forbade its use. I attempted to have all records of the Word purged but, as you no doubt know, any knowledge- once revealed- is very difficult to conceal again. I can only hope that you are asking about it out of simple curiosity, and not any darker motive. Please remember that I am always here for you and you can always rely on me to help you overcome any corruption, if such corruption exists."
Twilight facehoofed. "Great, now Celestia thinks I'm some sort of dark mage."
"And I'm sure that's awful for you," Peacevic deadpanned. "But I'm a little out of the loop on a couple things, first of which is this 'Writing' thing. What is that?"
"A few centuries ago, back towards the end of the Second Equestrian Revival, Celestia saw that all of the artistic and cultural momentum her subjects had built up was waning." Twilight looked up, trying to recall all she had been told on the subject. "So she decided to teach the very best magic users a new discipline, a form of runecrafting centered around special Words. These Words were... representations of physical and metaphysical concepts, and thus held the concepts' power. The idea was for ponies to be inspired by this new Sun Writing, but it... didn't exactly work out. Most of the Writers were overwhelmed by their own power."
"That doesn't seem like the wisest decision ever made."
"It's easy to criticize in hindsight, but I'm sure Celestia had good intentions."
Peacevic shrugged. "I guess. Second question, what do these 'Writers' want with me?"
"They called you 'Troubadour', right? That's a pretty odd word choice, so I suspect it has something to do with a ritual. One they want to perform either with or on you."
"A ritual, huh? That's really specific." The rapper looked around at the forest's worth of fiction and nonfiction surrounding them. "You wouldn't happen to have a handy guide to all things Sun Writing laying around, would you?"
"Actually... yeah, I think I might. Celestia gave me an encyclopedia on magical theory and practices as a birthday present a few years ago, and it dates from about that period. If anything can shed some light on what the hooded ponies want with you, it'll be that book." She started digging through a nearby pile.
"Wait, the Princess gave you an encyclopedia as a birthday present?"
Twilight re-emerged, a goofy grin dominating her features. "I know, isn't she the greatest?"
"Yeah... yeah, she's the greatest."
"Hey Twilight, have you seen that flyer I brought home?" Spike stuck only his head into the room as he asked his question. "I was hoping Peacevic could sign it for me."
Peacevic instantly felt bad. He hadn't even noticed when the dragon left, and the little guy was a fan!
"Did you leave it in here?" Twilight asked the stack she was scanning.
Spike stroked his chin as he shuffled fully into the room. "I might have."
"Then it probably got used as a bookmark. Do you remember where we stuck that encyclopedia on magic Celestia gave me?"
"You mean this one?" The dragon pulled a huge hardback off a nearby shelf and held it up.
Almost immediately the book was wrapped in Twilight's magic and pulled toward her, and if Peacevic hadn't grabbed Spike with his own power the little guy would've gone with it.
"Yep, this is it. Let's see..." She flipped through the tome as speedily as the age-worn pages would allow. "Should be about right- AAH!"
"What?! Did you find it?"
"So- Somep-pony..." Twilight began hyperventilating, and that wasn't really helping her coherency.
"Twilight? Twilight, use your words. What's wrong?"
But- despite the fact her mouth was moving- the words just wouldn't come out, and Twilight's eyes took on a glassy sheen. Spike walked up to his caretaker and eased the book away from away from her, which Twilight didn't notice because she was too busy making grandiose gestures with a hoof, as if she were explaining some arcane theorem to a lecture hall. He peered at the pages that had sent Twilight into a fit.
Or, rather, where they should have been. "Looks like somepony's ripped these pages out."
"Priceless page... an incredibly valuable historical artifact..."
"Yeah, she's gonna be out of it for a while."
"Then what should we do now?" Peacevic asked.
Spike nonchalantly shrugged, fully used to Twilight's freak outs by now. "I've got to go shopping today, you can come with if you want. Or you can wait for her to come to."
"Is there anything I can do around here that won't result in me learning?"
"I have some Power Pony issues you can read," Spike replied as he gathered together a few obscenely long lists, "and also some indie titles."
"Comic books?"
"Yeah."
Peacevic grabbed one of the lists. "So what are we buying?"
"You can see how this was a huge mistake, right?"
None of Peacevic's captors responded, choosing to focus on carrying the rod he was strapped to and ignore him. Extremely dangerous and potentially fatal situation aside, the lack of interaction was driving the rapper nuts. He was the kind of pony that was easily bored when not fully engaged by what was happening around him.
Hence the inane and incessant chatter. He had to do something to liven things up.
"Obviously, I wouldn't just wander around Canterlot with only a baby dragon for protection. This is all a clever ruse to get you guys to lead me and Twilight- that purple unicorn from last night- to your lair. She's the personal student of Princess Celestia, you know."
"We know who Twilight Sparkle is, Troubadour," a certain pony in the back grumbled.
Peacevic twisted as best he could to see the pony who spoke. "I recognize that voice from last night, buddy. Soon as Twilight gets here, I'm shoving my hoof up your plot."
"Your threats are meaningless. Nopony is coming to save you."
The rapper hoped that was just general overconfidence, and not the hooded jerk's way of saying they'd caught Spike as well. Twilight may have taken it upon herself to get involved, but the dragon was a bystander. And a kid.
And if he got grabbed, what was the point of Peacevic's epically brave distraction?
Quite a few of his captors were sporting cuts and bruises from that fracas, and Peacevic was particularly proud of that bit with the mop and the noodle bowl. He doubted the cultists involved would be forgetting it anytime soon. Especially the mop. Peacevic honestly didn't know what had possessed him.
But despite it all he was now a prisoner, and if Spike had been captured as well, or was unable to get help, then he was pretty bucked. He needed a bodyguard.
The ponies carrying him started to slow down and he heard a door creak open. Torchlight washed over him, as did a new voice. "The Troubadour has arrived!"
This new voice was female, and it carried the conviction that anything the speaker did was justified. It was the voice of a zealot. Peacevic had been picketed enough that he automatically disliked zealots, even the ones who hadn't ordered his abduction.
"Great Magdha, we've brought the one you asked for. Did we do good?"
Peacevic groaned. "I already hate you, dude. Don't be a suck-up on top of everything else."
"Silence!" The talkative pony jabbed him in the ribs.
"That's three, bucker," Peacevic hissed through clenched teeth. "That's three."
"There's no need to injure him further, my faithful follower. He's already beaten." An earth pony sashayed into Peacevic's field of vision, the mare who'd announced their arrival. She was a frosty blue, with her platinum mane elaborately braided and coiled around her neck.
And she was absolutely stunning.
Seriously, even though she was visibly older than he was, Peacevic would have a hard time looking anywhere else if he had a mind to. Which he didn't. Her could-be-severe features were perfectly softened by the light smile she wore, and her dancer's grace accentuated... everything a seductress would want accentuated.
"You know..." Peacevic was finding it difficult to form words at the moment, which was more than a little unusual for him. "You, um, probably would've had an easier time grabbing me if... you know, you'd come after me."
She chuckled softly. "I absolutely would've, considering how... excited you are. Too bad there isn't enough time to grab you now."
Damn it, he'd walked right into that double entendre. Into both of them! Irritation at being verbally out-maneuvered helped his wits reconstitute themselves. "Yeah, too bad you're about to sacrifice me to gain immortality. You're Magdha, I take it?"
"I am. And you're Peacevic the Rapper, Rising Star of the Canterlot scene! A musician clever enough to figure out my plan. So tell me, you clever stallion, how'd you put it together?"
"Turns out a map dotted with tacks in the shape of a rune, in the home of the student of the pony who created the rune, is pretty helpful. Add in the fact that the rune means 'Immortality', and it's obvious what the end goal is."
"And?" Magdha urged. "Come on, you're doing good so far. Keep it going. Do you know how I'm going to become immortal?"
"You're going to use a ritual."
The sorceress arched an eyebrow. "A ritual?"
"Yeah."
"That's really specific."
"Look- I sling words, not spells, and the stupid pages were missing," Peacevic snapped. "Cut me some slack."
She leaned in close. "Unfortunately the ritual's about to start, so I can't really do that. And I just so happen to have some torn-out pages right here, so I know exactly what kind of ritual I'm performing. Once my faithful follower over there hoofs me your heart, I'll live forever."
"You don't even know his name, do you?"
"Let's keep that our little secret." Suddenly, her lips were on his and his brain thought it was best to forget about all this ritual nonsense and who even cares if What's-his-name has a name and why'd he have to be tied up he could-
Then Magdha pulled away and the moment passed. "Put him next to the other one."
That snapped Peacevic out of his daze. Other one? Was it Spike? Did they snatch Twilight?
No, it was some other pony he saw when they plopped him down on an altar. Another stallion, either his own age or younger, hooves bound and a gag shoved in his mouth. A closer inspection determined the other pony was definitely younger than Peacevic, probably mid-teens. He just looked older than he was, and was no doubt proud of that fact whenever his peers commented on it.
He was also whimpering.
"Magdha, let him go!"
"Why?" she asked as she passed by Peacevic's altar, busily checking the preparations.
"You- you have me, you don't need him. Please, he's just a colt."
"So? He's going to die anyway. Everypony in Canterlot's going to die- maybe even Princess Celestia."
"Every-"
"And once I'm the immortal Queen O' Shades, whose coming was foretold in prophecy, everypony's going to be ghosts doing my bidding," she continued, not noticing she'd interrupted him. "So I really don't understand what the problem is."
"The problem, you psychopathic bitch, is that I can do this!" Peacevic yanked at the ropes with his magic, creating enough sudden tension to snap them, then leapt up as quick as he could-
Only to be just as quickly slammed back down on the altar as a pair of wraiths coalesced next to him.
"Ooh, you're pretty hot when you're angry." Magdha gently brushed a bit of his mane from its eye-obscuring position. "I'm going to have so much fun with you when this is all over. Well, with your corpse."
With that little bit of fortune-telling, Magdha took her place in between the two altars. A tray was set up beside her, and a glass chalice was placed on it. The sorceress cleared her throat and, after accepting a dagger from another cultist (who swiftly left the stage once his task was done), let out a string of what could have been words. "Ich bin der Autor der Schrift . Lassen Sie meine Worte, um die Welt um mich herum zu ändern."
Peacevic may not have recognized the language, but the effects were pretty clear. Burning sigils flared into existence along the perimeter of the stage. Magdha slashed several times at the air in front of her, each stroke leaving a glowing line like the surrounding sigils, until a rune was floating there. THE rune. Immortality.
Then Magdha plunged her dagger through the rune and deep into the colt's heart.
It stayed there as the colt thrashed once, twice, and even as he gave a few last twitches. Only when the body went completely still and no light remained in the colt's eyes, only then did Magdha withdraw the blade. She scrapped the dagger on the rim of the chalice, the pooling blood visible through the glass.
Once the chalice had received all the blood, she held it aloft and cried, "The Word is manifest!"
"The Word is manifest," echoed the crowd.
"The Troubadour's blood shall sing the Word!" Magdha raised the dagger again.
A purple beam struck her through a lung.
"Everypony stand down!" A stallion's voice boomed. "We are the Royal Guard, and you are all under arrest!"
Twilight appeared at Peacevic's side and banished the specters holding him down. "You left a few hairs behind when you slept on my couch. I was able to cast a spell to track you, and I brought my brother along to help."
"Well, you're late," Peacevic growled, pointing at the cooling colt.
She gagged when she saw the wound, but recovered and the next thing Peacevic knew all three of them were outside. Twilight's horn lit up again, wrapping the colt's body in magic.
"What're you doing?"
"Preserving the-" She swallowed hard. It was a couple seconds before she resumed. "I'm preserving his body. The Guard will want to process it for any additional evidence, and his family..."
Peacevic didn't hug her, or put a hoof on her shoulder, or anything like that- he didn't really feel like they were close enough for it. Instead, he simply stood a little closer. "Exactly none of this was your fault, Twilight. You know that, right?"
"Of course it's my fault. I should've stopped this, should've seen the pattern earlier."
"Did you form a cult for the express purpose of gaining immortality? Did you steal a ritual from an adorkable mare who, judging by the insane amount- seriously, donate some of them- of books she owns, clearly loves to read? Actually, that's probably where Spike's flyer went... No to both?" He ducked his head down so his eyes were level with hers. "Did you knife the colt?"
"No..."
"Case closed, then. In fact if it wasn't for you all of Canterlot would be dead by now. You saved everypony and, as part of everypony, you get a big Peacevic 'thank you'."
She took a deep breath and blew it out, not really letting go of the guilt, just putting it aside for now. "Celestia's going to lose it when she hears about this..."
"About that- can we not tell her?"
"What?! No!" Twilight exclaimed. "She's my teacher, I have to tell her! Besides, my brother's basically next in line to be Captain of the Royal Guard. She is going to find out."
"Well that's my cue to leave, then. Just say you didn't know who the other hostage was." Peacevic started walking home.
"Why?" Twilight asked, hurrying to catch up. "I thought you wanted to meet the Princess."
He nodded, but didn't slow his pace. "Oh, I'd love to meet her- private debriefings, and all that- but I refuse to let this mark my career. I will not be known as a victim."
"But you saved Canterlot as much as I did! You're not a victim, Peacevic."
"That's for the media to decide, not you or me." He whirled around suddenly. "Go back to your brother, Twilight. He's probably worried about you."
Peacevic turned back around and trotted away, leaving the mare behind.
The first thing Peacevic did when he got to his house was throw up. Several times.
Then he realized the place was strangely empty. She must've moved out while he was gone. That was just like her, no time wasted. Though he really could've used her comfort right about now.
He missed her already...
Peacevic the Rapper in...
The Backstage Bashing
"If I never do another one of these, it'll be too soon, y'know?"
The sound pony nodded, but Peacevic knew he wasn't listening. That bothered him a bit. Here he was, laying some gold-plated jokes on the guy, and all the fool cared about was his levels.
Briefly, the unicorn imagined a career in comedy. Might as well, he'd done most other jobs in the entertainment industry, even modeled a bit. Ms. Finish said he was a natural at that, and the yellow mare they had paired him with was really nice. But even though the fillies swooned over his roguish good looks, and even though his light green coat and darker mane was extremely photogenic, modeling wasn't his thing. Neither would comedy. He loved rapping.
But he hated sound checks. So, so much. Why his manager added a fine for missing them into his contract, he'd never understand. He'd only ducked a few of them.
"We almost done here?" He growled, trying out a new voice.
That made the pony look up from his board. "Chill out, P. We're just about set."
"Don't piss yourself, dude." Peacevic laughed. "I'm not mad at you."
"You're not?"
"Nah. Just thinking 'bout doing something new on the next record. Like an alter ego... y'know?" He telekinetically spun his mic around, now really considering it. Even though he was the biggest unicorn rapper right now, the scene was pretty fickle. He might not stay on top if he didn't switch things up from time to time.
A strident voice rang out from the front of the club. "Peacevic!"
Peacevic was glad all the lights were up so he could see Twilight Sparkle stomping toward him. "Well, if it isn't everypony's favorite purple princess. Looking fine as ever, Honey."
"Uh... We're all finished, so I'm gonna go." The sound pony announced, fleeing as he did.
"Kindly never call me 'Honey' again." Twilight climbed the stairs to the stage and yanked the microphone away from the rapper.
Which was unfortunate, as Peacevic had been planning to talk through it, just to annoy her. Oh well, he could roll with it. "Whatever you want, Baby."
Her eyes narrowed, and Peacevic found himself hoping she chucked him through a wall. The cred he could get from throwing down with Princess... his sales would skyrocket!
Unfortunately, she composed herself with a deep breath and some sort of hoof wave. "Good." She finally said. "Now, about your show."
"You mean the one tonight?" Peacevic interjected unnecessarily.
"Yes the one tonight! Be quiet, I have something important to tell you!" Twilight snapped. When Peacevic smirked and said nothing, she continued. "It pains me to say this, but Celestia's become intrigued by rap music. There wasn't anything like it back then, and Pinkie told her that you're the best right now. So she will be attending tonight. Unofficially, of course, and in disguise."
"Why tell me if nopony is supposed to know?"
"Simple." Suddenly, the mic was floating before her. "YOU ARE NOT TO SING THAT DISGUSTING SONG YOU WROTE ABOUT HER!"
The force of her magically and technologically amplified words knocked Peacevic off the stage. Twilight set the microphone back onto its stand and leaned over the edge to look at him. "Get it?"
"Yeah, I get it." Peacevic replied, dusting himself off as he got up.
"Good."
Just then, a mare's scream came from backstage.
They both raced to the back, different instincts driving them toward the sound of danger. For Twilight, it was her nature as a hero. For Peacevic it was something a little more personal.
When they found the source of the screaming, an earth pony outfitted in the uniform of the club, they also found what she'd been screaming about.
The sound pony was laying on the floor, his skull cracked gruesomely. A puddle of red pooled underneath him.
"No, please no!" The mare cried. "Get up. This isn't funny!" Her knees buckled. "Please get up..."
As the mare's pleading degenerated to incoherence, one of the largest pegasi in Equestria blurred into view beside the rapper, his hooves never touching the ground. Had Peacevic known who Bulk Biceps was, he'd have thought him to be an apt comparison. But while the white pegasus had a bodybuilder's physique and stunted wings, the cerulean pegasus hovering in the hall was more like a bundle of steel cords and his wingspan was Seraphic. The fact that he was able to speed down the hallway without crashing or knocking anything over was testament to his skill. "I heard screaming."
"I'm fine." Peacevic told him, tilting his head in the victim's direction. "Cable's not."
The pegasus' eyes flicked over to the body, then landed on Twilight. "Will we be needing to... resist detention?"
"Calm down, Ice. I didn't do it and the Princess knows it." Peacevic stepped in between the two, reinforcing his words.
"Very well, Sir. What do you want to do?"
Peacevic pointed at the sobbing earth pony. "Take the girl to the green room and give her something strong to drink. Then go round up the others."
Ice nodded and gently led the mare away. After they were gone, Twilight turned to Peacevic. "Does he think he can take me? He realizes I'm an alicorn, right?"
"He takes his job very seriously." Peacevic replied. "And I wouldn't put money on either of you in a fight."
"What?!"
"I once saw him go up against a manticore bare-hoofed. It didn't win." He explained. "Plus he's fast. He's the fastest pegasus I've ever seen. He keeps saying his sister's faster, but I don't believe that for a second."
"I'm stronger than I was the last time we met, Peacevic. Several times stronger. I'm an alicorn now!" She huffed.
"Okay, okay, you're a powerful warrior! Let's focus on what's important." Peacevic started towards the owner's office. "We have to call the police."
"No, don't!" Twilight blocked his way.
"What's wrong?"
"If you call the police they'll cancel the show! Tonight is the only night Celestia has free for the next few months." She was only slightly frantic. "We'll solve this ourselves."
It was Peacevic's turn to say it. "What?!"
"Come on, we were able to solve the last one."
"Those were slightly different circumstances." He reminded her. "Besides, despite the boost to my reputation that it would be, I really don't feel like going to jail tonight."
"I'll take responsibility, Peacevic! I need your help." The Princess pleaded.
Peacevic looked again at Cable's corpse, then sighed. "You don't have to sell me, Twilight. I'll do it. Now let's go meet my crew."
The green room wasn't overly spacious, but it did have two pretty comfy couches. On one sat the mare, sipping a cup of cider. She was still shaking, though the drink seemed to have calmed her a little. On the other couch sat three unicorn stallions. The huge pegasus had placed himself next to the mare on the first couch, conspicuously between her and the others.
"What's with the mandatory meeting, Peace?" The unicorn on the farthest end asked as the rapper and the princess walked in. He was slightly shorter than the others, with a white coat and a close-cropped black mane that partially obscured one eye. Though he was sitting and nopony could see it, his cutie mark was a flaming megaphone. "I asked, but Saddle Rager over there wouldn't say anything."
"Sus, do you have a death wish?! By Celestia!"
The pegasus just cracked his neck. "You read too many comic books, stump. Besides, Saddle Rager's a filly."
"I know." The white pony smirked.
Ice just growled.
"Ice, chill." Peacevic ordered.
The growl turned into a groan. He hated that joke.
"Good." Peacevic's stare fell on each of them in turn. "Now, the reason you're here. Cable's dead."
The poor mare started to sob again, silently, and the white pony's smirk contorted. "You mean the decent kind of dead where we're all sad, or the bad kind where one of us is going to prison for a long time?"
"Unfortunately, the second one." Twilight replied. "and may I ask what your name is?"
It was about time for introductions, so Peacevic got started. "Guys, you know Princess Twilight. Twilight, this is SusP.E.C.T. He's mostly my hype-pony, but sometimes I let him do guest bits on my records."
"Stage names don't mean much at this point, Peacevic. Can I get his real name?"
"That is his real name. He had it legally changed." Peacevic told her. Then he pointed to the unicorn on the opposite end of the couch. "That's Dust Off. He's in charge of selling merch." The pony was the color of rust and beach sand mixed together, with a matching mane. He was also the one who'd questioned SusP.E.C.T.'s will to live.
The giant pegasus nodded as Peacevic pointed at him. "You've already... interacted with Ice Cold. He's my bodyguard."
"How come the big tough rapper needs a bodyguard?" Twilight taunted.
Peacevic wasn't perturbed. "Because the big tough rapper enjoys not being mobbed by fans." He pointed to the last unicorn. This one was grey, and had an x and line for a cutie mark, like you'd see on contracts. The pony was also sharply dressed in a black suit with a red tie. "And finally, this is my manager."
"Are you still being petulant?"
"Take that damn sound check clause out of my contract and maybe I'll start referring to you by name!"
The grey pony sighed, stood up, and offered a hoof to Twilight. "I apologize for my client. He can be a bit foalish at times. The name's Tom."
"I knew a Tom once." Twilight had trouble stifling a grin as she shook.
Before Tom could ask why that was so amusing, SusP.E.C.T. exploded. "This pleasantry stuff is real nice and all, but can we get back to the fact that Cable was murdered?! When are the cops getting here?"
"They aren't. The Princess and I will be investigating on our own. While we do, none of you are to leave this room. Anypony who tries will be assumed the murderer, and Ice will stop you." Peacevic's eyes narrowed. "With extreme force."
"What if Ice is the one who tries to leave? He'd break us all into little pieces!" Dust was almost as shaky as the club employee.
"Well, then we'll know who the murderer is."
Dust gulped, and as he did SusP.E.C.T. rose and walked over to Peacevic, pulling him over to the side. "Peace, I know it's not cool or street to call the cops, but this is serious. Why aren't we?"
"We can't." Peacevic said. "We do that, the show'd get canceled. Celestia really wants to come."
"Ok, that explains the purple princess. Why are you going along with this?"
"Cable was part of my crew, Sus."
SusP.E.C.T. nodded. "And you do realize the killer's part of your crew, too. Right?"
"That just makes it worse."
Both Peacevic and Twilight covered their mouths as they returned to the scene of the crime. The sight and the smell of the body was starting to get to them. Twilight quickly cast a rarely-used preservation spell.
Seeing it brought back some unpleasant memories. "I forgot you knew how to do that, Twilight."
"You can't really forget stuff like what happened back then."
"True, but it's nice to pretend."
They both shared a shiver, then Twilight slipped into detective mode. "Alright, let's focus. From the looks of it, Mr... Cable?"
"Yeah, Cable."
"Mr. Cable was hit on the head with something. Something heavy."
Peacevic had been trotting along the outskirts of the scene, looking for that something. When he found it, he telekinetically lifted it for Twilight to see. "Something the killer left behind."
It was a spare support strut for the PA system. Peacevic was glad he could use magic to raise it up, as it was pretty well coated in Cable's blood.
"Who could have access to this thing?" Twilight asked as she floated it closer to get a better look.
Peacevic just shrugged. "Anypony, really. One of the roadies probably left it lying around."
Twilight gingerly placed the strut in a plastic bag. "Speaking of roadies, where are they? I haven't seen one."
"Probably at a bar. I'm playing here two nights in a row, so they won't need to pack everything until after tomorrow's show. I gave them all the night off, except for Cable."
"Well you may have found the murder weapon, but I found the first big clue." She waved for him to come closer. "Take a look at this spatter. It's completely unbroken. Since it would have spurted in the direction the attack came from, that means whoever did it wasn't close enough to get hit."
Peacevic nodded, grinning grimly. "You're right, Twilight. That is a big clue. You've effectively eliminated none of our potential suspects."
"Wha-? But-?"
"Ice is quick enough to not get hit by spurting spatter." He explained. "But I don't think he did it, either."
"How come?"
Peacevic stroked his chin. "Aside from the fact that he wouldn't need a strut to do this? He's smart, way smarter than anypony'd give him credit for. He wouldn't stick around if he was the one who did it. He'd probably be in bucking Cloudsdale by now."
"So we don't have any usable clues..." Twilight took a second to blow her mane out of her eyes and gather her thoughts. "I guess that means we'll have to figure this out through motive. Who in your clue had a problem with Mr. Cable?"
"I honestly have no idea. He just joined up for this tour, so he's too new to have pissed somepony off on a personal. Or so I thought. And he was really good at his job. I only ever work with the best."
Twilight stomped in frustration. "Great! Nothing again!" She hung her head. "Maybe we should just call the cops..."
In her morose state, Twilight's lazily looked around the hall. Her gaze finally landed on Peacevic's flank. "Hey, I never got a chance to ask last time, but why is your cutie mark a destroyed microphone? Don't you like rapping?"
"It's not destroyed." He absent-mindedly explained. "It's crushed."
"I don't get the difference."
"That's because you're not hip." Speaking of hips, that earth pony had a nice set on her. The earth pony...
"Whoa, wait!" A brilliant idea just struck Peacevic. "What about the waitress?"
"What about the waitress?"
"Maybe she knows something or saw something." Peacevic gestured wildly in excitement. "We haven't asked her about it yet!"
Twilight ears perked back up when she realized he could be on to something. "Peacevic, you're a genius."
"You don't have to say it so sarcastically, Twilight."
"I'll stop being snarky if you do."
"Never."
"The green room was utterly silent when Peacevic and Twilight returned, and everypony was exactly where they'd been left.
Threatening them with Ice had been an excellent deterrent.
Twilight knelt in front of front of the waitress and gently took hold of a hoof. "Excuse me, miss. I'm so sorry to have to do this, but we need to ask you some questions. First, do you know who I am?"
"Y-You're the P-Princess." She sniffled.
"That's right." Twilight nodded. "My name is Twilight. What's yours?"
"Lovely Vision."
"Ms. Vision, can you tell me why you're here so early? There aren't any patrons to serve." Twilight seemed to have a plan with her line of questioning, so Peacevic just stood and watched.
"I'm supposed to help with the set-up, showing the acts where everything is. Everypony says I'm good at it."
Twilight's brow arched a bit at that, but she pressed on. "And you're the only employee who was asked to come in early?"
"Yeah, just me." Lovely Vision confirmed, looking down at Twilight's grip.
"Could any of the unicorn employees have snuck in without your knowing?"
"There aren't any unicorn employees." Vision said, in a manner that implied the fact should be known and obvious.
Twilight was confused. "Really? Why?"
"Uhh, Twilight? This club caters to ponies who admire... a certain aesthetic." Peacevic leaned over so he could inform the perplexed princess privately. "Specifically, pretty earth pony mares."
"An entire club just for that? I mean, I'd get it that was a... an offered option. But a whole club?"
Peacevic shrugged. "This is Canterlot, and the majority of ponies who live here are unicorns. Horns get boring after a while."
"Hmmm." Twilight frowned. "Okay, back on track. How did you happen to discover Mr. Cable?"
The tears came back. "I told him to meet me there after he finished with the sound check, but then I got held up dealing with a vendor. By the time I was able to get there, he..."
"Wait, you're Cable's marefriend?!" SusP.E.C.T.'s ears perked up. "He told us he had one, but I never guessed she was so pretty!"
"Sus."
"Yeah, Peace?"
Peacevic slowly shook his head. "Not an appropriate time."
"Yeah... realized it as soon as I said it." SusP.E.C.T. grinned sheepishly. "Sorry."
Something was bothering Peacevic. Tom the Manager was quietly moving his lips, the way he always did when trying to figure out how to say something. Dust Off was quiet, unnerved by the situation and not dealing with it well. And Sus was being inconsiderate. "Ice, I'm pulling you off warden duty. Come with me."
Peacevic left the room, and in a few seconds he heard wing beats following behind him. Minutes later, after they were well out of earshot, he turned to stare down his bodyguard. "It's not you, is it?"
"Wouldn't still be here if it was." Ice wasn't fazed by the question.
"Yeah, I know. Just had to ask." Peacevic started walking again. "You know who I think it is?"
"I do. He's been acting weird."
"And you know what we're looking for?" The rapper asked as they made it to the manager's office.
"I do."
As Peacevic entered the green room for what he hoped would be the last time in the investigation, SusP.E.C.T. was busy explaining to Twilight why The Fillies Four was a better superhero team than The Power Ponies. "And what's really cool is that on top of the battles and stuff, they deal with everyday problems as well. So it's more relatable, know what I mean?"
He was standing fairly close to Twilight, which wasn't good. Peacevic had to separate them. "Sus, could you back away from the Princess, please?"
"But-"
"Now." Peacevic cut him off.
"I was just-"
"He said 'now'." Ice menacingly took a step forward.
Sus quickly complied, backing up as far as he could. Twilight turned to Peacevic. "I take it you found something."
"I did." He lifted the book he was holding with his magic a little higher. "Like all fancy and progressive establishments, this club keeps a record of its patrons as a way to improve their future visits. The kinds of drinks they order, how often they show up, things like that. Now, as a performer, I've had to learn to read a crowd, and when Twilight was questioning Lovely Vision here, one of you was acting oddly. Manager, you were figuring out how to spin this, the best way to protect your client. That's normal. Sus, you were putting your hoof in your mouth. That's also normal." Peacevic turned on his merch pony. "Dust, you live around here, don't you? Ever been to this club?"
Dust Off took a step back, surprised by the sudden attention. "No..."
"Huh, must've read that wrong." Peacevic flipped through the pages of the log. "N, no definitely says 'Dust Off, unicorn'. Oh, they even keep track of whether the patron requests a specific waitress. Wow... you really have a thing for Ms. Vision, don't you?"
Lovely Vision's eyes widened in recognition. "I thought you seemed familiar."
"Look, I- I can explain!"
"There's nothing to explain, buddy. You found out your crush had a special somepony and you confronted him about it." Peacevic's anger was slowly rising. "Maybe you didn't mean for things to get deadly, maybe you did. I don't care. You killed Cable."
Dust Off's eyes darted around. Finally, he snapped and shot off a beam at Twilight. She simply teleported out of the way.
Dust was a unicorn, sure, but not every magic user was as powerful or precise as Twilight. His blast was unfocused and wild, and had Sus still been standing by her he'd have been caught by it.
Before Twilight could finish coming out of her teleport, Ice had tackled Dust Off to the floor. The murderer struggled as best he could, but the huge pegasus easily held him down. Twilight quickly bound him in her magic.
"Why is it always so chaotic when we run into each other?" She asked as Peacevic plopped onto a couch.
"No idea."
"I'll take him to the authorities. See you at the show." Then she, and Dust Off, teleported away.
The crowd went wild as he stepped to the mic, even those who normally were only here for the mares. "Now, some of you may have heard that I'm going to be recording a new album. That is indeed true. What's also true is that I finally decided to record a song that I normally only perform live. So here it is, the final show-only rendition of that song you all love, 'My Sun'."
The beat dropped, and he launched into the song.
I'm so happy, I know just who to thank Every time I get stuck staring at your solar flank I hear your sister's nice, she gives me good dreams too But every single one of them is about you So before craving you gets me surly I think I'll just cut to the chorus early
Celestia-a-a I wanna mess you up I'm who you waited a millennium for Make you feel everything you ever wanted and more Celestia-a-a I wanna mess you up There's no need to hold off and wait 'Cause you and me, filly, we're fate
You be the princess and I'll be the prince I don't even care about our height difference There's never been a better lover, before or since Your subjects won't notice if you walk with a wince Just kidding, we'll take it slow I'll boldly go anywhere you want me to go You can teach me every move you know All those dirty little moves from ten hundred years ago.
Celestia-a-a I wanna mess you up I'm who you waited a millenium for Make you feel everything you ever wanted and more Celestia-a-a I wanna mess you up There's no need to hold off and wait 'Cause you and me, filly, we're fate
In the middle of the crowd a certain purple princess thought she was going to stroke out, and the definitely-not-an-alicorn-in-disguise white pony beside her just smiled.
Author's Note
I totally meant to have a recorded version of the song ready by the time I posted this chapter, but I don't have enough time or money to record just yet.