Tossing in his bed, Zenith Zephyr could not sleep. He feared what sleeping would do to him. Luna would be waiting, that much was for certain. Luna could be downright scary and cruel when it came to setting ponies back upon the straight and narrow. She had no qualms about unleashing terrifying visions of some wretched apocalypse if she thought it would drive a pony back into the light.

A part of him wished that Pumpkin was here; not for sex, but just to have somepony close to him. Somepony to talk to. Somepony to sort this out with. Somepony who understood him. He needed somepony he could say anything to. He needed somepony who loved him… somepony like… Celestia.

There was no facing her ever again, not after lying to her. Zenith gave serious thought to quitting school and fleeing Canterlot rather than having to face the consequences of his actions. He felt sweaty, anxious, and like he needed to throw up. His muscles ached with tension created by anxiety. No matter how he lay in his bed, he could not get comfortable.

Then, much to his horror, he heard a sound that he did not wish to hear. The sound of the door to his room opening. Somehow, he knew who was coming. His skin crawled and he covered his face with his pillow. He couldn’t face her either.

“You lied to her. You lied to somepony that you love dearly. Are you enjoying your sleepless night?”

Under his pillow, Zenith moaned, not knowing what to do. He took a deep breath, preparing to say something, and when he spoke, his voice was muffled by the pillow. “So, you finally showed up to punish me. About time.”

Luna let out a derisive snort. “I did not come to punish you, but if that is what you want… I can be your Mistress. We can start with hoof licking, and work our way up from there to whips and chains. After punishment kindergarten, you might pass and enter the first grade… there will be a lecture on red hot pokers. I am ever the attentive schoolmarm.”

Zenith pulled the pillow away from his face. In the darkness, he could make out Luna’s faint outline. She was sitting on a cushion on the floor, by his desk. Her mane glowed with starlight. “Why are you here?”

“Because a pony that I love is floundering, has fallen into a hole, and is currently wallowing in self pity. It disgusts me, mostly because I know that this pony is better than that.” Luna paused and for a moment, her teal eyes glowed with an eldritch inner light. “Also, this pony lied to my sister… tsk tsk tsk.” Luna blinked and the glow in her eyes vanished.

“You love me?” Zenith asked. Almost right away, he heard a heavy sigh from Luna.

“You… you are no Twilight Sparkle. Would I be correct to assume that your mind is seldom troubled by deep thoughts, long introspections, and philosophical tangents?” Luna’s voice dripped with snide sarcasm.

“But I insulted you… I… said something…”

“I intentionally egged you on, provoked you, goaded you, teased you, and then, when you could take no more, I allowed you to insult me so with the hopes that you would have the confidence you needed to go and speak to my sister. It was my hope that you would see that she is just a pony, very much like you or Pumpkin. You really are thick headed at times, Zenith. Were you my student, I would have sorted you out ages ago. Quite possibly in a dungeon full of dangerous toys.”

Cheeks burning, Zenith realised he didn’t know what to say. He felt lost. He felt stupid. He was dealing with a being that was thousands of years old, wiser, smarter, vastly superiour in every way. He was dealing with… he paused to have an epiphany.

He was in the same situation that he would be in if he had tried to be Celestia’s consort. If he was her lover. Her husband. He was so out of his league, out of his element, he was so far outmatched that there would be no hope of any sort of even pairing. But rather than feel insignificant, Zenith instead thought of Pumpkin, his counterpart. Many considered he and Pumpkin to be equals. Suddenly, Pumpkin seemed even more appealing.

Also, he felt better.

“You love her,” Luna said. After a moment, Luna clarified her words. “Pumpkin, I mean. You love her. You can finally say it.”

“Yes.” Zenith's’ voice was a soft whisper, an admission, a confession made in the dark.

“I have long given Pumpkin dreams about you,” Luna admitted. “Pumpkin’s first nocturnal emission happened in a dream involving you. After experimenting with a few other colts… and even one filly… she was so guilt ridden that she began to punish herself. Her guilt called to me… and of course, I answered, as I must do.”

Zenith shivered. Something about Luna’s words frightened him. But he also had an insight into Pumpkin. “Her piercings… punishing herself… this… this is why she gets off on pain, isn’t it? Is it some kind of sexual fetish because of me and how she punished herself?”

In the dark, Zenith watched as Luna blinked. The silence was oppressive. He waited for a reply, he kept waiting, but then, in a quiet moment of realisation, he understood that there would be no answer.

“She… wanted me to hurt her… just a little… nothing serious, but she wanted me… she wanted me… she, uh, she wanted me to tug on her piercings,” Zenith stammered. “I did.” He glanced at Luna and felt a rush of guilt. He thought about what Luna had just said… Her guilt called to me… and of course, I answered, as I must do. His blood turned to ice water in his veins. “I mean, I did it just a little bit, but not enough to really hurt her… I just… I couldn’t bring myself to hurt her as much as she wanted. I’m scared that she’s disappointed with me.”

“Perhaps I should take both you and Pumpkin under my austere tutelage. Some time in the dungeon with my forgotten toys would do the both of you some good,” Luna deadpanned.

“Maybe I deserve it.” Zenith closed his eyes.

“My sister cannot sleep. She has gone to her roost. Her heart is troubled that the colt that she raised from yearlinghood to be a good pony has lied to her. She stands up there, keeping a lonesome vigil, weeping, and believing herself to be a failure.” Luna’s eyes narrowed in the dark.

Luna’s words cut Zenith open like a scalpel. His eyes stung right away and something sharp stabbed into his throat. He felt like crawling beneath his bed and dying. As he lay there in his bed, staring at Luna, fighting back tears, he watched as Luna dissolved, slipping into shadow, and melting away like sand in an hourglass.

Zenith understood what he needed to do.

Fearful, his heart in his throat, his vision blurry with tears, Zenith stepped out onto the narrow roof, emerging from the secret passage. He crept forward, a part of him wanting to turn around and run away. Another part of him hoped that he would slip and fall, afterwards, this would be over.

Death by pigeon poop. It was an ending he deserved. His father said that pigeons were filthy rats with wings. His father hated pigeons. His father said that pigeons were lice bearing disease vectors. All of which might be true, but at the moment, Zenith felt that he was somewhere beneath pigeon poop in the grand pecking order of things.

As he rounded the chimney, he heard crying. Oh damn, he thought to himself. Luna wasn’t lying. He froze for a moment as his internal waterworks broke down. Blinded with tears, sobbing, Zenith made a mournful bleating sound as he darted forwards.

For the second time, he hit a treacherous spot on the crossing and slipped. He went right over the edge, down the steep angle of the roof, and went hurtling towards the earth. He was too distraught to make his magic work and his horn fizzled as sparks popped out.

And then, somehow, everything was okay. He wasn’t falling. He… was sitting on the flat surface of the balcony, and Celestia was sitting with him, and she had her wings around him and she was crying as she held him. Zenith didn’t know what to do, other than sitting there and sobbing, so he did.

Sniffling, Zenith hiccuped and tried to look his teacher in the eye. He managed to do it for a moment, but then the pain became unbearable. He looked away and closed his eyes, feeling as though he might start crying again. His lower jaw moved up and down as he tried to make words happen, failing several times, before he said at last, “I’m sorry.”

“I’m sorry too,” Celestia replied.

This surprised Zenith. He hiccuped again, his brain going blank, and his eyes opened. He saw stars twinkling in the velvet darkness. “Why are you sorry?”

“Because… I knew this lesson would be painful for you, and it was.” Celestia sniffled a little, and then, much to Zenith’s surprise, she wiped her nose with her wing. She saw his stunned stare and stared right back. “What, am I not a pony as well?” She saw him blink and once more, he looked away.

“Celestia?”

“Yes?”

Zenith drew in a deep breath. It was time to face the truth, no matter how painful. It was time to be honest. “What would have happened?” Zenith waited for a moment, thinking about his words, and then continued: “I mean, what would have happened if I would have pushed Pumpkin away and I would have just kept trying for you? What would have happened if I was stubborn?”

Celestia felt a stabbing ache in her heart. It was time for honesty. Zenith had lied to her, and it had hurt. Now, it was time to be truthful, and the truth would hurt in a way that no lie ever could.

“Zenith, I would have let you. I would have led you along, and I would have let you keep trying to earn my favour. I would have kept you at my side, working tirelessly, labouring to impress me, and I would have exploited the zeal and fervour of your affection.” Celestia took a deep breath and then kept going. “I cannot put the needs of just one pony above the needs of all the others. I would have let you serve me, and serve the empire, I would have harnessed your dedication for the sake of the greater good. I would have used you for all of the good that I could possibly get out of you. You would have been a resource for me to draw upon. And with time, and age, should you have found your spirits flagging, should you have found yourself tiring, I would do whatever it took to reignite your passion, reaffirm your commitment, and restore your worshipful sense of adoration so that you might continue to labour and benefit the empire.”

Zenith, stunned by Celestia’s words, squeezed his eyes shut. And I probably would have let you. He wanted to say the words aloud, but no matter how hard he tried, he could not make himself say it. It pained him a great deal to keep the words bottled up, but he could not force them out, much like an unwelcome party guest, he found no way to evict them from his mouth.

“This is the danger of putting me on a pedestal. I would have let you do so, and I would have made certain that Equestria benefited from it.” Celestia’s voice was a soft whisper that barely rose above the sound of the wind. “No resource goes unused. No valuable asset is left unexploited. Anything that is available is used for the betterment of my subjects. What I want, my desires, my feelings, my own needs, none of that matters. I exist to serve the needs of my little ponies.”

“This is a lesson I needed to learn,” Zenith said, almost mumbling his words.

“This is a lesson that I did not want to teach.” Celestia shook her head.

“So what happens now?” Zenith asked.

“Why, you remain my student of course. You let me down from my pedestal. We become friends, if such a thing is possible. As friends, I get to talk to you about Pumpkin, give you advice on love, on making a family, and I get to have secret fantasies about little chubby unicorn foals someday that I might get to play with, because let’s face it—Twilight Sparkle’s interests do not lie in that direction,” Celestia replied.

“I… I… I think… I think—”

“Yes, Zenith?”

“I think I like the new direction our relationship is heading,” Zenith said to his teacher.

“Would you care for some tea?” Celestia asked. “And perhaps getting cleaned up a bit?”

“That would be nice,” Zenith replied.

“Do you love Pumpkin?”

Zenith blushed and nodded.

“She’s a cute one. I like her mohawk. The both of you are adorable together. Always have been. I’ve been alive for thousands of years and I can assure you, it has been a long time since I’ve seen a match this perfect for one another.”

“You think so?” Zenith asked, his troubles slipping from his mind.

“Are you doubting your teacher after this painful lesson in honesty?”

“Um… no, I suppose not.”

Celestia sighed. “You’re my most handsome student… let’s go and have some tea.”

Author's Note

We're not done yet, but Zenith has been educated!