“Zenith, before you leave, I would like to speak with you after class,” Moondancer said as her students began filing out of the door to her classroom. The somewhat older mare’s brows furrowed for a moment, and then her face softened as she smiled at her students, watching them exit.

When the last of them were gone, Moondancer shut the door, using her magic. She leaned over her desk, looking thoughtful, she cleared her throat, and then lifted up a mug of coffee that was still steaming after an hour of sitting upon her desk. She looked at Zenith, peering at him through her glasses, and one ear twitched in time with her breathing.

Zenith, who now stood in front of Moondancer’s desk, looked at his professor, and waited.

“Zenith Zephyr, there is no kind way of saying this. While you have shown some strong, powerful magic, your ability and desire to channel said magic is not what it should be.” Moondancer’s smile was warm, sincere, and gentle. “I have read through the papers you have given me several times. You honestly do not have a strong interest in magic, do you?”

“For me, it is merely a means to an end,” Zenith replied.

The professor nodded and went, “Hmm.” She pulled off her glasses, rubbed her nose, blinked a few times, and then placed her glasses back on her nose. “Why are you in my class? Be honest. Please? I believe you just had a spectacular lesson in honesty last night.”

Zenith’s ears drooped. He wondered who told. He looked at his teacher, now feeling nervous. Without meaning to do so, he let out a worried nicker. “I am here because I wanted to impress Princess Celestia. As her personal student, I am expected to have exceptional magical skills. I have no great love of magic, but I do have many, many expectations being made of me, including the expectations that I made of myself. I can say that I have applied myself in your class and I feel that I am doing well.”

“You are doing well enough. You’re going to pass this year.” Moondancer took a deep breath and licked her lips. “Your talents lie elsewhere though. Zenith Zephyr, do what you are good at.”

“Thank you, Professor Moondancer,” Zenith replied.

“Zenith, it has been a privilege to know you. As a student, you have challenged me and made me rethink my feelings on a number of subjects. As a teacher, I’ve learned something from one of my students. I hope that I’ve taught you something as well. I’d like to think that I have. Now go on, get out of here.” Moondancer lifted up her hoof and waved.

“Thank you, Professor Moondancer.” Zenith bowed his head. “I’ve learned a great deal from you, and this class has been a worthwhile experience.”

“Take your flattery and go elsewhere, I’m on to your silver tongue.” Moondancer’s smile became a wide grin, revealing several teeth. “I plan to keep your paper… the first one, the one you gave me that had hardly anything to do with magic, and I plan to keep it to use as a teaching aid. Now shoo.”

“Zenith, do you have a moment?” Twilight Sparkle gave Zenith an expectant stare as she approached the colt, who watched her with wide, somewhat worried eyes. As she drew near, she could see herself reflected in his glasses.

“Is this about Pumpkin?” Zenith looked around the almost deserted library wing where he was doing his schoolwork, adding the final touches to a short report he was writing on the history of pony and zebra relations. He saw Twilight’s cheeks darken for a moment at the mention of Pumpkin’s name. He felt a moment of panic—she knew. Twilight knew. Twilight was looking at him right in the eye, staring at him, her eyes were boring into his soul. He thought about confessing everything he and Pumpkin had done and then hope for mercy.

“No, this isn’t about Pumpkin.” Twilight Sparkle shifted from her right hooves to her left hooves. “But I have a feeling we’ll need to talk about that later. My student refuses to talk to me about something. At least she hasn’t lied to me. She just won’t talk.”

Zenith tore his eyes away from Twilight and stared down at his paper. Much to his surprise and also to his shock as well, Twilight snatched up his paper from off of the long, heavy wooden table and began to read it. Oh no… Zenith thought to himself. No paper escapes grading from Professor Twilight.

“Hrm, this is a good start… you have a knack for diplomacy. Not surprising, considering what happened this morning.” Twilight looked up from the paper and looked at Zenith once more as she set the paper down. “That is why I am here.”

“Is this about the diplomacy apprenticeship that Princess Celestia has offered me?” Zenith glanced down at his paper, then his schoolbooks, and then, overcome with curiousity, he looked into Twilight’s eyes, still feeling fearful to meet her gaze.

“Zenith Zephyr, I have come on Princess Celestia’s behalf to offer you your first assignment.” Twilight cleared her throat and then looked around the library for a moment, before returning her attention to Zenith. “This is optional, and you can always refuse—”

“Oh no, I want an assignment!” Zenith sprang up from his chair and was on his hooves in an instant. “What have you got for me? Will it be zebras? I would love to go overseas… Saddle Arabia? Dragon diplomacy? Someplace else?”

“After much discussion with Princess Celestia, we have both decided that a good place for you to get started would be working with Princess Buttermilk—”

“What?”

Twilight Sparkle let out little snort after being interrupted for the second time. She forgave Zenith, knowing that he was an emotional mess right now. She didn’t know everything, but she knew enough to know that something had happened. She tapped Zenith on the chest, urging him to sit down, and then sat down in a chair herself.

“Princess Celestia would like for you to live with Princess Buttermilk in the White Tail Woods. A new township is about be laid out… there is going to be a new settlement, a new little village in the woods. Princess Buttermilk is going to need an advisor, a liaison, somepony she can trust to help her and help her deal with the many challenges she is going to face. Buttermilk has shown some extraordinary leadership abilities, but she is going to need somepony who is a skilled negotiator. Princess Celestia and I both thought it would be easier for her to have somepony close to her own age to assist her, as somepony older might make her feel as though she was being foalsitted.”

“I see,” Zenith replied. The colt leaned over the table, resting his forelegs on the edge.

“Would you be interested?” Twilight asked.

Zenith nodded. “This sounds like a wonderful opportunity.” And I would be closer to Pumpkin. He squirmed in his seat, thinking about Pumpkin, and all the different ways that he loved her. He thought of how he needed to make up for his stupidity. Without realising it, he zoned out and began to stare at a distant bookshelf.

Craning her head around, Twilight peered at whatever it was that Zenith was staring at and then she turned her head back around to look at Zenith. “Great! Well then, I’ll go and talk with Princess Celestia and we’ll get this project moving full swing. The settlement, still unnamed, will need shelter before winter. Buttermilk is going to need lots of help. She has trade agreements to negotiate, she’s sitting on a fortune of maple syrup waiting to happen.”

“Maple syrup?” Zenith snapped to attention and stared at Twilight.

“Well, it’s not as sweet as Pumpkin Cake, but it’s nice on pancakes,” Twilight said and then began to titter.

Sitting in a cozy, somewhat overstuffed seat in a booth, Zenith waited. The cafe was nice, a hidden treasure, something that was almost invisible on the outside. Clientele existed because of word of mouth. It was a small, secluded, secretive establishment, and somehow, it flourished.

Perhaps because Princess Celestia came here regularly to dine.

Zenith had sent a message to Pumpkin for her to meet him here once her classes and her school day was done. Zenith was finished, but he knew that Pumpkin had a lab to attend. He took a sip of ice water flavoured with lime, the essence of cucumber, and a hint of lavender, sucking it through a straw.

The cushions on the booth were bright orange, almost garish, and matched Pumpkin’s mane. The curtains on the narrow window up front were bright purple. The tile floor was blue, orange, and white. The tackiest chandeliers and lighting fixtures one could imagine adorned the ceiling and the walls. Everything in here was an assault upon the eyes—and Princess Celestia loved it. Zenith had no doubt that if Twilight’s friend Rarity were to visit, she would drop dead. A waitress walked by, wearing a leopard print apron, and Zenith gave her a winning smile.

Spanky’s Cafe was a Blueblood free zone, and as such, it was a favourite spot of Canterlot elite, at least for the few that knew of its existence. The most popular dish was ‘The Special,’ giant pancakes dipped in egg batter and then deep fried until crunchy and golden brown. The pancakes had shredded bits of coconut, minced bits of dried tropical fruit, and juicy crushed bits of pineapple. They were topped with heavy whipped cream and fresh fruit, along with fruit infused syrup, whatever flavour you liked.

Zenith Zephyr planned to eat a whole stack of them.

When the bell over the door rang, Zenith’s ears perked up in a hopeful manner.

Pumpkin turned all sorts of heads when she entered. She still had her piercings, but her makeup was gone. Her mane had been curled, but wasn’t up in its usual spikes. She looked softer somehow, more beautiful than ever. Zenith watched as she approached and then leaned over to kiss her as she stood near the table.

After kissing him back, Pumpkin sat down opposite of Zenith and smiled at him.

“Hey, have a nice time in your lab?” Zenith asked, trying to be conversational.

Pumpkin shrugged. “Eh, it was okay, but I have other things on my mind. You wanted to talk to me?” She leaned over the table and looked Zenith in the eye. She reached out her left hoof and stroked Zenith’s cheek. “You look happy. I don’t know what I was expecting, but I’m kinda surprised.”

“We need to talk,” Zenith said to Pumpkin, nodding his head. “About us. About you and I. And this needs to be a very serious discussion—”

“Woah, right away with the heavy stuff.” Pumpkin’s eyes narrowed. “I got something I need to talk to you about as well, once you get done.”

The waitress walked by and left a tall glass of ice water served in the same way as Zenith’s. She smiled at the two teenaged foals and kept going. There was what appeared to be grape jelly on her leopard print apron.

“I told Princess Celestia everything that happened. We had a long, long talk. I got my head sorted out. I made a few mistakes, but I fixed them and I owned my mistakes.” Zenith took a deep, excited breath. “Princess Celestia has offered me a diplomacy apprenticeship and I have my first assignment.”

“And how does that apply to us? Am I missing something?” Pumpkin took a sip of her drink, slurping it through her straw, and then waved a hoof at Zenith. “Wait, are you being shipped overseas because Celestia wants to send you someplace far away?” The filly’s eyes went wide with horror.

“NO!” Zenith shook his head. “Calm down Pumpkin… just… calm down.” He took a deep breath, feeling nervous. “Look, Celestia gave me a good long talking to about being a diplomat. I’ll be expected to be a good host. I’ll have to attend parties. I’ll have to throw parties. And she said that I would need a good helper… a good wife at my side, somepony that knows about catering, and throwing parties, and somepony who can help me—”

“Zenith, baby, what are you saying?” Pumpkin asked as she covered up her mouth with her hooves.

“I’m saying that I can’t do this alone… Celestia told me to find somepony with a lot of schooling in the art of friendship.” Zenith’s eyes dropped down to the table and he let out a cough as Pumpkin started to let out a high pitched squeal.

“Are you saying what I think you’re saying?” Pumpkin asked as her voice approached a frequency that might only be heard by diamond dogs.

“Well, not right away, but I wanted to know if you would be open to the idea, I need to plan my future, and my future involves you, and I don’t plan on doing anything unless I can have you with me, and I already made a bad mistake, I have no plans to do it again, and I still feel—”

“Yes, yes, a thousand times yes!” Pumpkin squeaked. Her eyes glittered with euphoric joy and she bounced up and down in her seat. She banged her front hooves together and almost knocked over her glass of water. Her mood took a sudden turn as she stopped bouncing and her face became serious. “Hmm, I might need to tell Twilight I need to pass on that job I was offered.”

“You were offered a job? So was I. You first,” Zenith said.

Pumpkin, now looking a little sad, shook her head. “Twilight Sparkle wants me to help Princess Buttermilk. There’s going to be a new township in the White Tail Woods. I’m supposed to provide security and keep ponies safe… wait, why are you smiling like that?” Pumpkin peered at Zenith and her ears pitched forwards.

“My first diplomatic assignment is with Princess Buttermilk. I am supposed to go and live with her. I am supposed to use my skills at negotiation and diplomacy to help her out.” Zenith’s ears flapped around as Pumpkin began to make a high pitched squeal once more.

He took a sip of water, licked his dry lips, and then took another sip of water to moisten his dry mouth. Zenith looked at the filly sitting across the table. “Pumpkin Cake, will you be my special somepony?” He watched as Pumpkin started fanning herself with her hoof.

“No.” Pumpkin became serious, her mood shifting in an instant.

“No?” Zenith, baffled, blinked at Pumpkin.

“Let’s cut with the ponyshit.” Pumpkin lowered her voice. “After all the heartache and trouble you’ve caused me, you owe me an engagement… now give me what I want.”

Zenith’s left eyebrow raised and the right eyebrow lowered.

“Aggressive negotiations.” Pumpkin’s voice was a low, dangerous whisper. “I’m not living with fear or doubt anymore. I woke up this morning and decided that I need to make a few changes… I… I… I had a bad dream, okay? Some changes need to be made and I need to be more direct about my feelings, what I want, and what it is I want from you.”

“Fair enough. I find your terms agreeable,” Zenith replied.

“You don’t have to propose now, I’ll give you plenty of time to think of something special, and it had better be special, because I deserve it.” Pumpkin rubbed the corner of one eye with her fetlock. “I love you… and I look forward to working with you. I’m glad that we could come to an arrangement.”

“Pumpkin, I love you bunches.” Zenith’s mouth curled up into a sly smile. “I had an idea… this little township, as of yet still unnamed, is going to need some businesses to help it get going. As I was sitting here and waiting on you, I thought that maybe a bakery might be a good investment for a budding community. See, I happen to know of a nice apprentice baker here in Canterlot that makes delightful baked goods… croissants.”

“Say, I know of an apprentice level baker.” Pumpkin began to titter and looked at Zenith. “I bet you and I could talk to my mom and dad about some investment capital.”

Reaching his foreleg over the table, Zenith took Pumpkin’s fetlock into his and gave it a squeeze. He felt her tremble at his touch and her breathing quickened. Her eyes flashed with joy and he felt her give him a squeeze in return.

“Pumpkin, how about after our meal, I have you for dessert?”

Author's Note

And so, it ends.

If there is a sequel, IF, it will focus on Princess Buttermilk. Zenith and Pumpkin will be there, but as background characters. I dunno. I have other stories to work on at the moment, and it feels good to finish this one.

Also, to the absolute and utter moron who added this to Absolutely Disgusting, you dun goofed. No OC on royalty here, or Gary Stu, or any other stupid bullshit like you claimed. You're a blithering idiot and this story is proof of that. You didn't know shit when you posted this and added it to those asinine categories. So... HA!