WAY Out of place

When you kill people for a living, the only time you see value in human life is when you're staring down the barrel of gun. Which also, coincidentally, happened to be close to my current position. I was seated at a folding table inside some shithole room in some rundown building. I know don't much about it or where it exactly was. You really don't get to ask many questions with a bag over your head and something cold and hard prodding at your back the whole car ride. Anyway, across from me, seated at the other side of the table was a Russian man wearing coveralls like mine. And by, "like mine" I meant dirty, worn and spattered with blood. One of my, err, business partners; Yuri.

And beside me was some Albanian jag-off with a nice handful of his buddies elsewhere in this place. Two of which were standing guard on either side of the doorway to the room. He stood next to me, having set his Kalashnikov down on the table to load a snub nosed revolver. He only put in a single round and spun the cylinder, snapping it back into the frame of the handgun. He set it down in front of me, patting his hand beside it. "You play first, asshole."

I looked between him and gun a few times. "What, no smoke?"

He picked his rifle back up, leveling it with my face. "Play." His voice had harshened, growing impatient.

"Fuck me." I sighed taking the revolver in hand. I looked it over, examining the scratches in the metal work, stalling for as long as possible.

The barrel of his rifle came closer to my face, only inches away. "Do it."

I took a deep breath, exhaling it and flipping the gun around in my hand. I pressed my thumb on the hammer, cocking it and holding it up to my temple. This must have been the sixth time now. The sixth time I'd been in a spot like this. Not that I'd been forced to play Russian roulette under armed guard before. I meant the sixth time I was the one holding the handgun to my head, about to pull the trigger. But that was for much more intimate reasons.

I did my usual bit. "Happy thoughts, happy thoughts." Memories began to flood through my mind. Fresh ones. Oh yeah, I'd all but forgotten. Today, Sunday, May twelfth, is my twenty-fifth birthday. Well happy birthday to me then. I looked back over the last few weeks. possibly the few worthwhile moments in my mostly bleak and decrepit life. Possibly the happiest memory that came to mind was this. A young woman, my girlfriend. She's like any other girl. Average size, thin, light skin, long dark navy hair with pink and purple striping through it. And beautiful, beautiful violets eyes.

Oh, wait. That wasn't exactly normal or typical or anything like that. But I never gave a shit, I still loved her for who she was to me. And to me, she was perfect, perfect in every way. The way she'd hold onto me when we sat together. The way she'd be curious about anything. The way she'd be willing to try anything at least once. Except meat of course. But that was a well worth price for having her. She was how much my life was worth, she was definitely not something I was going to leave behind.

It had escaped me just how long I'd dwelled on the memory. The guard hit upside the head with the butt of his rifle. "Play, asshole!"

I scowled, glaring at him out of the corner of my eye, rubbing the back of my head with my free hand. I re-leveled the revolver to my head, taking another deep breath and holding it. I closed my eyes and slowly pulled the trigger. My life began to flash before my eyes. I'd been close to death before, but I was never so certain of it. Every horrid memory of my life flowed over my eyes. Each one more painful than the last. I squeezed the trigger until all I heard was a metallic click. I'd lucked out again. I dropped the handgun to the table, finally letting out the breath.

The guard slid the gun over to Yuri. "Play."

He picked the gun up and held it to his temple. His eyes shifted between me and the guard. I caught the signal and moved my hands under the table, pressing them to the underside of it metal frame. I waited. Yuri's finger eased on the trigger. Before it was close he whipped his arm out and pulled the rest of the way. A flash and loud bang sounded off as a large red spot hit the guard's chest. I flipped the table and dove behind it. Yuri moved from his seat and held up the dead body, using his free hand to aim the rifle at the other guard, letting out a spray of bullets. The other guards became littered with red holes and dropped.

"Hurry. More will come." He said running to the door.

I rolled out from behind the table and ran to the dead guard, moving his arm out of the way and taking the rifle. I ejected the mag and checked it. Fully loaded. I reinserted it and pulled back the charging handle. I took up the other side of the door. "Ready?"

"Ready." He nodded.

"Alright, three-two-one-go!"

He kicked the door, breaking the handle and lock. He aimed down the hallway, I slipped out the doorway and followed down. We rounded a corner and spotted another few guards. They spotted us and starting raising their rifles. We both aimed and fired faster. The guards dropped and we ran down the hall into a room with a few more guards with level rifles. I dove to the ground while Yuri ran at them. He swung the rifle hitting one in the face and turned him around, using him as a shield.

A few rounds hit him and the guard bled out. I lied prone on the floor, snapping from man to man, letting out sprays of bullets. Some the guards dropped and the other ducked behind a table. Yuri threw the body down and ran to me, reaching out and pulling me up. I ran to the table and kicked it back, knocking it forward and over the men. I sprayed out rounds and finished off the rest.

We hurried on through the complex, dropping all the guards we spotted. We reached another door and stacked up. "Ready?"

"Ready."

There was no counting, only kicking. I kicked at the handle, my boot slamming hard and splintering the wood around the handle. A bright blinding light blew over us. I held a hand over my eyes, shielding them.

"I think we are outside." Yuri stated, covering his own.

"Oh I couldn't tell, I thought we were just under a spotlight." I said sarcastically. My eyes adjusted. "Think we're home free?" I asked.

"We are long from." Yuri said tossing his rifle in a nearby dumpster.

I tossed mine in there too and looked around the lot. "Well this was a bust. Sorry about Grigori."

"Is okay, sorry about dragging you out just for this. And on birthday too. I am very sorry."

"It's cool. I'm just kinda pissed I won't get anything out of this. I really wanted to grab something nice for tonight." I said unzipping my blood spattered coveralls.

"Hold on, I think I might- aha!" Yuri said reaching into his. He pulled out a small clip of bills and handed them to me. "Happy birthday friend."

I accepted it. "Wow, thanks Yuri. This is just...holy shit." I said looking it over. A small stack of hundreds laid folded in my hands. I slipped out of my 'work clothes' and and stuffed the bills into my back pocket. I pulled my feet through the legs of the coveralls and wadded them up, tossing them into the dumpster.

Yuri looked down at my arm. "What this?" He asked. "Twilight? My friend, you have shitty taste in book."

"It's not those weird books Yuri, it's just this girl." I trailed off.

"Oh! So weasel finally get himself pretty girl. How is she? I bet she has huge titties." Yuri said with a creepy smile.

"Shut up red man." I said smiling and rolling my eyes.

"Well tell her I said hi." Yuri said reaching into his pocket and pulling out a pack of cigarettes. He offered me one and I accepted.

"Got a light?" I asked.

He reached back in and pulled out a small book of matches. I struck one and it lit, holding the cigarette between my lips
I pressed the tips together lighting it. I tossed the lit match into the dumpster, hitting a few old pieces of scrap wood and spread, lighting the whole of the trash heap. Yuri held his close to it and lit his own. He brought it back to his mouth and took a long drag.

"Ah, nothing like smoke after hard days work." He chuckled.

I exhaled a thin trail of smoke and looked off. "I should probably get going."

"Me too." Yuri agreed. "Well, have nice day then weasel." He said walking off.

"Later." I said walking off in my own direction.

Okay let me clear some shit up quick. Today's my birthday. Usually my birthday entitles major liver damage, but seeing as I have Twilight now--Oh yeah! Quick explanation so you understand what's going on. Basically, two weeks ago I found an attractive young woman in my backyard, both naked and unconscious. Yes, yes, I know, "that's total bullshit" and "You're such a fucking narc" and all that.

It happened. It's not all happy days the entire time alright. She dug up some stuff that I wanted to stay buried. But, I learned to just let things go and remember for what things were and not are. She explained her situation and I did my best to help her out. Which was take her to the local rehab center because I thought she was higher than a motherfucker. Sure things were rough between us at first, but lo and behold, drink the social equalizer. After a bit of sharing my home-brew we kissed and made up in more than one way so to speak. Things are going nicely. I'm still working my day job, but hey, it pays well and keeps us comfortable.

Now where was I? Oh! Right! Seeing as I have Twilight now, I wanted to make things special and share a nice quiet night with her. At first I found it hard to believe she was really Twilight, but I soon grew to it and accepted it. And I kinda...sorta...love her. *cough Anyways it's been about two weeks since all that--shit I already said that. Well, today's my birthday alright. I planned on going through a quick day and grabbing a bottle of wine for us tonight. No sex, unless she was up for it--No, no sex, just us enjoying a quiet night.

Well that obviously didn't go well. Shit went down, tits went up and a bunch of Albanian pricks ambushed us. Grigori, one of my 'associates', received a lit cigarette to the eye and a nine-millimeter chunk of lead to the frontal lobe for trying to be brave.

I walked off through the lot. I reached the end and ran through open area back to downtown. I strolled along the sidewalk, taking in the afternoon sight of the city. It was bright and warm over in Detroit. I walked down the street taking drags of the smoke and looked along the street for a specific shop. I spotted one and made way to it, crossing the street. I took note of the 'no smoking' sign and tossed the just-about-finished cigarette on the ground, crushing it under my work boot.

I opened the door, a small bell ringing over it. I walked to the front counter, looking up along the rows of dark red and yellow bottle covering the shelves. The owner walked up to the spot I was standing at. I read over some of them and couldn't decide. He gave a suggestion and I thought it over. I explained my situation and he pulled down a specific yellow one. He handed it to me and I read over the name and date. I nodded and set it back down on the counter.

I reached into my pocket for the clip and pulled it out, taking a few of the hundreds. I handed them to him and he rung up the purchase, handing me back the receipt and change. He bagged the bottle and handed it over. I thanked him and walked out the door, stuffing the receipt into the brown paper bag and the small bills and change into my pocket. I walked back down the street with a faint smile.

I walked down the street to the point of a small sign and bench with a few people standing beside it. I waited among them and looked down the street. The long white sign covered bus pulled in and everyone started pouring in. I followed in and reached into my pocket, taking out my annual pass and inserting it to the small machine by the door. It beeped and I walked through, sliding it back into my pocket.

I sat down near the front, looking out the window. After around ten minutes the bus made a stop and I got off. I walked down the sidewalk, now in the suburbs I knew like the back of my hand. I rounded a corner and crossed the street, turning left and made my way down the long stretch of Catalano. I looked around at the small trees and few birds flying by smiling. I probably shouldn't have been after all I'd done, but I saw no reason not to. I made my way down the street and up the familiar pathway to my destination.

I opened the door and walked through it, kicking off my boots and slipping on my regular skateboard sneakers, being that I had wide feet I only ever got things like them. Even they were pretty tight to begin with, but I've worn them down over the last years. I figured it'd been a long enough time to retire them and decided I'd look for some better ones later.

I looked around the living room to find it completely empty. "Twilight." I called out looking around. "Twi, I'm back." I called out again, walking into the kitchen and opening the fridge. I set down the bottle down on the top shelf and grabbed one of the chilled beers. I walked over to the counter, setting the bottles cap on the edge, slamming my open hand down on it, popping it off. I sipped it and walked through the living room.

I slid open the back door and stepped out into the backyard, still looking for Twilight.

"SURPRISE!" Yelled out the small group behind my house.

I was definitely surprised because I'd never had that many people over at once. Before me I saw my neighbors Jeremy and Justin, along with my younger brother Kian, and the loveliest lady in the world: Twilight. She hurried up to me and hugged me. "Happy birthday Donny."She said softly.

"Thanks Twilie." I said happily. I looked back to everyone that was there. "Wassup guys?"

"Nothin', just waiting for you." Justin said sipping his beer.

"Only you would actually work on your birthday man." Jeremy laughed. "You white people." He said shaking his head. He looked at my arm. "Seriously? Man look at that shit." He said, his own in a sling.

"Shut up cholo." I said rolling my eyes. I looked over to Kian. "Hey bro, how's it goin'?"

"Fine." He said simply. He reached into his pocket and pulled out an envelope. "Here, mom couldn't stay. All kinds of sick."

"Damn." I said opening it. I slid out a card with a penciled in twenty-five and a 'Happy Birthday' writtien under it and opened it.

Tá súil agam go dtéann do lá go maith agus taitneamh a bhaint as tú é.

( I hope your day goes well and you enjoy it.)

Tá súil agam go háirithe nach bhfuil tú dearmad cad a mhúin mé tú.

(I especially hope you haven't forgotten what I taught you.)

Mac breithlá sona, grá agam duit. -Mam

(Happy birthday son, I love you. -Mom)

Only my mother would make a birthday card from scratch and write in in a language she taught me over eighteen years ago. I smiled at it though, it had that special touch being handwritten and all. I put the card back in the envelope and slipped it into my back pocket. "So just what have I missed?" I asked.

"Nothing significant." Twilight replied. "Your mother dropped your brother off and your friends came over."

I shrugged and sipped my beer. "Not the biggest party but, eh it's still something." I said smirking down to her.

"Your friends got you something." She said with a humorous smile.

"Oh yeah?" I said looking over to them. "And just what would that be?" I asked.

Justin snickered and tossed me a package wrapped in newspaper. "So much for gift wrapping." He said.

I opened it and looked down to see a pair of blue boxers with a white x over it; the saint Andrews cross. I looked back at him shaking my head with a tight lipped smirk.

"C'mon." Jeremy said walking over to a few set up lawn chairs. "Now that you're here lets chill."

We walked over to the small circle of chairs and sat comfortably. Twi sat in my lap, my arm around her. "I was doing some reading and I found that book. I looked a little more of it over and found something interesting."

"Oh yeah?"

"So I was thinking..." She she said softly, trailing off.

"Hmm?"

"Since today's your birthday, I thought we could try something special." She said with a soft smile and lowered eyelids.

"Yeah? And just what would that be?" I asked, the corners of my mouth rising.

She leaned close and spoke softly, whispering.

"Man, just look at your bro." Justin said smirking. "Look at that shit."

Kian looked at me. I smiled happily and spoke a few inaudible words to Twilight. We shared a kiss and looked up to the sky.

"He looks happy, so?"

"That's just it." Jeremy said. "He's happy."

"What do you mean?" Kian asked.

"Well usually your bro's either pissed off or distant." Justin explained. "Ever since that chick showed up he's been different, happier."

"Why's that? Why would he be upset?" Kian asked.

Justin let out and irritated sigh and looked at Kian seriously. "You're his brother and I don't want you pissing him off." He said flatly. "Let's just say that a while back he lost a friend and a lot of bad shit ensued."

Kian looked thoughtfully at me. I sat back in the chair, Twi in my lap. She leaned back to me and rested her head on my shoulder. We looked up to the sky and spoke inaudible things to each other. My face grew concerned and I looked up to the sky searching it.

Kian looked up too to see that it was no longer a blue but a green.

"Shit." I said gawking at the sky.

It changed to a yellow and finally faded to a calm blue. "What was that?" Kian asked looking at the sky.

There was a bright blinding flash, everything being consumed in white. I couldn't see or hear anything.

My eyes lulled open and I looked around bleary eyed. Everything was fuzzy and strange. "What the hell?" I asked rubbing my eyes. My hands felt different. Solid, cold, not hands. My eyes focused and I looked around clearer. Everything was colorful, pastel like. I looked down at my hands. "What the fuck!"

I looked down at my hands to see a pair of dark hooves with short shaggy fetlocks. All along what I thought were my arms was a thick layer of short light gray fur. My left 'forearm' still held the tattooing. I looked myself over in a panic. Short dark mane, similar tail, large build, pricked ears, muzzle, horn?

"Holy shit! I'm a fucking horse!--No, a pony!--What the fuck is going on!" I yelled.

"You're in Canterlot my little pony." A soft, almost motherly voice said from behind. "The palace to be exact."

I snapped around with mouth open in protest. It opened further and hung as I stared wide-eyed at something I'd never expected to see in my life.

A feminine horse figure stood behind me. She stood whole feet taller than me, a solid white so bright it almost hurt to look at. Her long, multi-hued pastel mane and tail flowed in the solar winds, independent of any natural breeze. She wore light golden armor inlaid with gems and runes that looked both pristine and antique. Her eyes held a motherly love for all. Her wings were unfurled, making her look many times bigger. Her long horn held a slight shimmer of unknown power, and above it was a crown that matched her armor.

I gawked at her sight, my mind racing. "The fuck! THE FUCK! How the-what the-no-no-no-no-no. This is just some fucked up dream." I said aloud. " I'll wake up any minute and see Twilight and she'll tell me I fell and hit my head. Wake up, wake up, wake up, wake up, wake up!" I yelled pounding my hooves to my head.

"I can assure my little pony, this is no dream." Celestia stated.