WAY Out of place

"I think I'll give Kian another day to get used to...all this. I'll probably go to Fluttershy's with him tomorrow. So that narrows it a little. Let's see, helping Applejack with the orchards, or let Rarity use me as a living mannequin. So buck trees and gather apples or stand still for hours and have a suit made for someone like me. Fuck it, apples. I decided.

I gave Twi a quick hug and hopped off the couch, taking a quick stretch and walking toward the door. "See you guys later."

"Where are you going?" Twilight asked

"Gonna see if Applejack needs any help today. She offered some work, so why not?" I said pushing open the door. "And Kian."

"Yeah." He said pulling out of his day dream.

"If Twi asks you do something; do it." With that I closed the door and left.

"I already have a mom, thanks." He mumbled to himself.

Twi only shrugged and went back to her reading.

"Hey Kian, just what were you up to last night?" Spike asked.

"I'll tell you later." Kian said staring off, remembering it fondly.

"I wonder where Pinkie went last night." Twi said holding a hoof to her chin. She moved down from the couch, setting the book on it. "I'm going to check on Pinkie, I think she went home last night." Twilight said trotting toward the door. She pushed it open and closed it behind her

"Alright it later." Kian said eagerly.

"So..."

"Okay so last night I was walking through the kitchen..."

"So then she jumps on top of me and starts making out with me. Now I'm freakin' out and had now idea what was going on. Then she starts rubbing against me..."

"And then she asks me if I could take my turn. So I..."

"And then this morning she was gone." Kian said finishing his story.

Spike only looked at him, jaw slack. He snapped out of it and went back to thoughtfully chewing his gem. "I thought I saw something pink leave this morning."

There was a knock at the door before anything else could be said. They both looked at each other curiously and Kian hopped down from the couch, walking toward the door. He opened it to see who was there. A grey Pegasus with a blonde mane and yellow eyes, wearing a mailbag. What was different about her compared to all the other mares he'd seen was that her eyes crossed, one looking to the lower left and the other toward the upper right.

"Letter for a Kian Mink." She said, her voice soft and almost nasally.

"How would anyone already know my name?" He asked himself with a raised brow.

She only smiled and stared, sort of, at him. He couldn't help himself but wave a hoof in front of her face, neither eyes following it. "So where's the letter?" He asked.

"Oh, right." She said turning to her side.

One of her mailbags popped open with a small light lavender unicorn filly, her mane and eyes a similar color to this mail-mare. She held a letter in her mouth and tossed it to him. "Here you go." She said, her voice slightly squeaky.

Kian tried catching it in his hooves only to fumble about with it and it hit the floor. He stared frustratedly at the small white envelope.

"Have a nice day!" The mail-mare said trotting off without falter.

Kian sighed and pushed closed the door, sliding the letter along the wooden floor back to living room. "Who was it?" Spike asked.

"Mail." Kian said trying to open the letter with his hooves.

"Grey Pegasus, little filly in the bag?" Spike asked curiously.

"Yeah..."

"Oh cool, you met Ditzy and Dinky!" Spike said looking at the letter. "Everyone loves them."

"Yeah, is that grey one retarded or something?" Kian asked still trying to open the letter with his hooves.

Spike only shrugged and hopped down from the couch, picking up the letter. "Fingers make everything easier."

"Tell me about it." Kian muttered angrily.

Spike opened it, only for a shot of confetti and streamers to blast out everywhere, a few balloons floating up from it. Kian stared at the scene wide eyed while Spike simply groaned. "Man, I just cleaned this place up an hour ago."

"Wh- I- ho- huh?" Kian rambled on, looking around himself at all the guff that came from one little envelope.

Spike slipped out the letter and set it down in front of Kian. He sighed and shook off the surprise to read the letter.

I hope this letter finds finds you well,

and that your time was also swell.

I wanted to welcome you to Ponyvill and show you around,

but the amount of things I had to do today would astound.

If you feel your reputation it won't muddy,

I'd like to invite you to be a special f-

His eyes widened at what he just read. He looked at it over and over, hoping he wasn't misreading it. He sat down trying to take in what he just saw himself. A sly smile crept up to his face as he thought about it more and more. A squee sound was made after he was finally in a full blown grin. He looked back down to the letter, reading the last of it.

Your friend and that's no lie,

Pinkie Pie.

Below that was a yellow balloon with a blue string and two blue balloons on either side of it with yellow strings in the lower right corner and beside that was a pink kiss mark.

"What, what's it say?" Spike asked.

Kian hoofed it over to the little dragon and he read it. After a minute Spike looked back up to Kian with a smirk. "Dude."

"I know."

"Dude."

"I know."

"Dude!"

"I know!"

He extended a scaly fist and Kian touched a hoof to it.