WAY Out of place

Me and Kian looked at each other, both unsure of who was being spoken to. Spike only smiled and rolled his eyes. He pat Kian on the back and looked up to me. "Glad to see you're taking this a little more easy than him."

I held a bright smile. "I have my rreasons to be' okey weth thes." I said resting my chin atop Twilight's head.

(I have my reasons to be okay with this.)

"Well that's you." Kian sighed looking at the ground. "I'm a horse, I'm stuck here, I don't have any reasons to be here or okay with it."

"Kian, yoou wan to knoow what aowur da used to' tell me' when I was upset?"
(Kian, you want to know what our dad used to tell me when I was upset?)

"What?" He asked raising his head.

I sterned my expression and deepened my voice a bit. "Son, if you'rre looking for sympathy it's in the dictionarry betwen shit and syphilis." (Son, if you're looking for sympathy it's in the dictionary between shit and syphilis.)

He looked at me with a small look of surprise. Twilight moved her head out from under mine and looked up to me. "What's syphilis?"

"Doon't ask." I said plainly. "Yoou'll oonly wesh yoou hadn't."
(Don't ask.) (You'll only wish you hadn't)

She took that note and looked back to Kian. "Since he's ready to go, are you?"

"Go where?" Kian asked.

"To' entrooduce aowurselves to everyone." I answered.
(To introduce ourselves to everyone.)

"Meet more pastel colored horses that can talk, great." Kian said sarcastically.

"Poonies." I corrected.
(Ponies.)

Kian shook his head and rolled his eyes "Whatever." He muttered.

"Well let's get going then. It's getting late and everyone must have been worried sick from what Spike's told me."

"Alrright." (Alright) I nodded and walked with her to the door. I opened it and let her walk out first, following close behind. Kian walked out, Spike riding on his back. How he got him to allow that, I have no idea.

We walked down the paved street together looking around, me and Twilight side-by-side. "We should try to find my friends first. Sugar cube Corner isn't far from here. We should try there first." She smiled a bit. "Pinkie would probably freak out a bit but be happy I'm back and to meet you two."

"Peculiar lass esn't she." (Peculiar girl isn't she.) I said looking up to the darkening sky. "The clouds here looks so fluffy." I thought. "I wonder just what Rainbow Dash might think of me. She probably wouldn't like me, though I hope I won't give her a reason to do so."

"Who's Pinkie?" Kian asked from behind us.

"She's-" Twilight started before being interrupted.

"She's the funnest pony in Ponyville." Spike said from Kian's back. "She throws all sorts of wild parties for new ponies and friends. Since Twilight's back and you two are here now, who knows how big a party she might throw."

Kian whooped sarcastically and looked back up to us. "So just what else does she do?"

"Pinkie works at the local bakery; Sugar cube Corner. She and Mr. and Mrs. Cake work in there to make some of the best baked goods in Equestria."

"Delicious." Kian said dripping with more sarcasm.

"Yoou bet yoourr rreght arrse lel' brotherr." I called back.

(You bet your right ass little brother.)

"You're pretty serious about the accent thing, aren't you?" He said dryly.

"Like I said: yoou bet yoourr rreght arrse lel' brotherr."

(Like I said: you bet your right ass little brother.)

He sighed and looked around. "Why do all these mares have tramp-stamps?"

I looked back to him with a scowl. "Whooa, where'd yoou ge't the mouth?!"

(Whoa, where'd you get the mouth?!)
He shrugged with a 'what'd I do expression'. "The only thing I've ever heard a tattoo on a girl's ass was called before is a tramp-stamp for obvious reasons."

Every part of me wanted to hit upside the head for saying that.

"I mean seriously, they all have one." He said gesturing to a small group of mares now looking at him. One leaned in and whispered to another. The mare then held a hoof to her mouth, stifling a giggle. "Even your girlfriend has one."

The last straw had been laid, the last twig snapped, and my last and only nerve had been tweaked. With clenched teeth and a twisting of my neck, cracking the vertebrae, I stepped over to him, planting a hard hit to the shoulder. His mouth held out a silent cry of agony and he only gave a gasping whimper. I leaned close and spoke softly. "Don't. Ever. Call her a tramp."

He cringed and nodded, receiving the message.

"Yoou mey be me brrotherr, but a lene mus be drrawn." (You mat be my brother, but a line must be drawn.) I said speaking at a normal level. I took back my spot beside Twilight and continued walking. "How does he know what a mare is?" I asked quietly to Twilight.

"I explained it to him." She answered.

I looked back and saw that we were where we wanted to be. Before us was the large bakery that seemed for the most part to be a gingerbread house.

"Now that's just ridiculous." Kian said looking up at it.

I only shrugged and followed Twilight up to the door. She only stood there, her face holding hesitation. I placed a hoof to hers and she looked at me nervously. I smiled and whispered to her. "This remind you of something."

She smiled nervously and looked back to the door. She took a deep breath and opened it, the overhead bell jingling. A sad looking Pinkie Pie walked sluggishly over to us with her head low, her pink mane straight and hanging down around her face. "Welcome to Sugar cube Corner, how may I help you." She said, her voice completely empty of her bubbly campy-ness.

"Pinkie it's me; Twilight." Twi said looking down to her uncomfortably.

"Oh, hey Twilight." Pinkie said still utterly depressed. Her head hung low then violently jerked up, her mane poofing into it's giant cotton candy like mass and her color brightening to a happy-go-lucky pink. "Twilight!"

Pinkie jumped to Twilight, knocking her down in a hug. A flabbergasted Kian stood beside me while me and Spike simply smiled.

"OhmygoshTwilighteveryonethoughtyouweregoneforeverandnoonewouldeverseeyoueveragainandeveryonewasllsadandloookingforyoubutwecouldn'tfindyouandtheneveryonewasallreallyreallyreallysadandmissingyouandwishingyounwerehereandnowyou'rebackandI'mallhappyandyoubroughtponieswithyouandthebigonelookslikeameanieandtheotheronelookskindacuteandyourhome!"
(Oh my gosh,Twilight! Everypony thought you were gone forever and no one would ever see you ever again and every one was all sad and looking for you, but we couldn't find you and then everypony was all really really really sad and missing you and wishing you were here and now you're back and I'm all happy and you brought ponies with you and the big one looks like a meanie and the other one looks kinda cute and your home!)

"Pinkie...you're...hurting...me." Twilight gasped as Pinkie gave a death-grip of a hug.

"Oh sorry, my bad." Pinkie said hopping back up and bouncing about excitedly.

Kian still looked at her like she was mad. He leaned near me. "Does she always act like this?"

I only smiled and nodded.

"Ohmygoshohmygoshohmygosh!Twilight'sback!Wherewereyou?Whatwereyoudoing?Whoaretheseponies?Whydon'ttheyhavetheircutiemarks?Oohthatonelooksreallycute!Who'sthereallybigone?Whyaretheyhere?"
(Oh-my-gosh,oh-my gosh ,oh-my-gosh! Twilight's back! Where were you? What were you doing? Who are these ponies? Why don't they have their cutiemarks? Ooh, that one looks really cute! Who's the really big one? Why are they here?)

Twilight sighed and smiled. "I'm glad to see you too Pinkie."