Just A Typical Day

"So then I said, “That’s not icing on your cupcake, Ms.Cheerilee!" Hehe isn't that right, Orion? Do you remember the look on that school teacher's face!?"

Pinkie Pie said while she giggles abruptly, and shoves my shoulder playfully...That story actually sounding quite familiar...and if my accusations were correct...

"She said it was still warm...she told me later that day that she wanted more of that icing..."

Pinkie Pie and I both stare at each-other to finish the story, a certain smirk present on both of our faces while we waited to speak at the same moment...

"Inside her womb!"

We both say at the same time, thus conforming a bucked up story about me working at Sugar Cube Corner for a day, before getting fired. Such a sick story, yet I could recall it so vividly once Pinkie Pie revealed bits and pieces of it. That was quite the day, as my special cupcakes actually made more money from horny mares then the standard income of regular desserts sold that day.

"Heh, Orion and I sold a baker’s dozen of cupcakes with some of his special icing on it...Needless to say, me and the other mares loved that stringy, white frosting..."

"Pinkie, when was this? I recall the Cutie Mark Crusaders talking about special cupcakes a week ago...and I really hope my Sweetiebelle didn't buy any of those...special cupcakes..."

"Hehe, are you kidding, Rarity? Who do you think bought most of our cupcakes that day? Talk about a couple of hungry phillies...I thought they were gonna ask for seconds!"

...Everypony had a big laugh except two mares, Rarity and Rainbow Dash...One sickened to her stomach about her little sister eating cum-cupcakes and the other...

Well I had no idea what was wrong with my Dashie...Everypony at the Crystal Table had a glass of wine in their hoof, meanwhile Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash remain sober.

The past thirty minutes I was helping Derpy use her new hands to pour a glass, and hold it with her fingers, instead of hooves. It was a grand get together, and everypony remain positive to Princess Luna's stay here at the castle...at least I thought everypony was positive...

"Rainbow Dash, what's the matter? You look a little glum..."

"Huh? No...It’s nothing, Orion. I'm fine..."

...We all stop the laughs and merriment to give a concerned look to one neutral Rainbow Dash. A certain negative tone resignated off her body, and ultimately dulled her bright blue coat down to a silverish gray color...I wondered if anypony could see it, or if I was the only one aware of her color change...

"Come here, Dash...Lemme turn that frown upside down..."

I sighed, scooting out of my seat and leaning forward to hug the pouting pony, who seemed to be hiding something from us. I put my hands on her cheek and forced her to stare at me, a noble smile gracing me before she would turn away. It was as if there was a secret that was bugging her, and stopping this mare from having a good time with the rest of us...I just had to figure it out and get to the bottom of this...

"It's nothing Orion...I'm just thinking about something, that's all..."

"Dash, if you don't tell me, I'm gonna have to kiss it out of ya."

...For a glimpse, my Rainbow Dash comes back to me, a playful smirk spread across her face while her bright blue tone resurfaced her body...but then it quickly faded back to a dull gray, along with her frown. I then have to abide by my statement, and come close for a kiss on the muzzle. We just kiss on the lips, but when I decide to let my hands lock around her head to rub behind the ears, a messy tongue kiss takes place.

"Mwhhh...Mhghmm!"

We both sloppily swap spit and emotions lead from one thing to another, as I sit this blue mare on the table to unlock our kiss...This time I get my Dashie back for more than a couple of seconds...

"It's just that Discord showed me a glimpse of the future, and I wasn't in it. I knew that couldn't be true...You wouldn't just abandon me like that...Would you Orion?"

"Of course not Rainbow, I love you and all of the other mares equally...and don't think that I could put anypony above eachother."

"...Then what about Princess Luna? What if I told you that I was worried she would steal you away from us..."

...The castle grows quiet as Dash says this comment, this one comment that was on her mind the whole time...

It was this one comment that kept her from smiling earlier, and forced her colors to fluctuate from blue to gray...I really wish she would have mentioned this earlier.

"Don't be silly, Dash...I've known you way longer than this mare, so what makes you think I would just drop everything and run away with her?"

In one strong reply, my mare was back to her normal self, and full of attitude again; she flips her mane and puts a hoof on my cheek before giving me a reply...

"Hehe, sorry Orion...I was a fool to think Discord was showing me the future. Please forgive me, everypony, including you, Princess Luna."

In one squeaky clean statement, all was forgiven and all was forgotten; any discomfort from Rainbow Dash was gone and cleared up. I then give a hug and a kiss to the relieved mare, this causing everypony to join in.

"You'd mares love me...Even if there was somepony else who wanted to move in with us, right?"

"Of course, silly...I could care less about how many mares you attract...Just as long as you still have time for us!"

Twilight said cheerily, giving me a warm, calming smooch on the cheek...

All was well, at least for now it was...

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"Father, tell me again why we're here at the Ponyville cemetery in the dead of night?"

"Dear spawn of mine, isn't it clear yet? With Rainbow Dash under my mind control, it's only a matter of time before those mares tear each-other apart! Which is why as a backup plan, a few re-animated house guests will literally rip these mares apart...Leaving that human to suffer the consequences, and for Celestia to banish him for all those casualties in the castle..."

Discord said with an evil smirk, giving a magic touch to the misty graveyard and lighting it up to a murky purple glow. The sudden magic had shoo ken the dead up from their slumber, and had given the deceased ponies’ new life. The rotting corpses stumble their way up from their graves, as they slowly hunch their way outside to Ponyville.

"D-Don't you think this is a bit drastic? I'm always interested in a good troll every now and then, but this-"

"ERRUGH...BRAINS!"
"HSSS!"
"RAW! BRAAINS..."

Screwball remain speechless while a horde of the undead slowly formed together, in a single train of demented gibberish and slurred requests for brains.

"Oh, calm down...I do think that all of this will be over in thirty minutes of biting and stomping! Those mares won't even know what'll hit em! Well...they might... thanks to my slow, loud undead friends...I just figured that if I was going to be bad, I might as well be bad at the most opportune time."

...

"I'm just gonna make sure those mares are locked inside that castle...Just to make sure there's no way out..."

Screwball nervously sighed, almost having second thoughts on betraying her father, and the diabolical plan that was to come.
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"Thanks, Rarity! These clothes you whipped up look perfect for me!"

Derpy giggled loudly, hyped over Doctor Whoove's machine that had helped Rarity create a series of outfits in less than a minute; all thanks to the mare's fashion sense and detailed thoughts.

"Why it's nothing, Derpy. This fine machine simply caught my divine sense of fashion and created it faster than any stitching machine I could've used."

...With all of this talk and use of that machine, I realize how long it's been there...and how long I could have been using it. I then do the unthinkable, I get the idea to summon my mystical pink mare...Screwball!

"I just need clear my mind for a second..."

I sigh out while walking up to the machine, holding the clunky metal helmet as Rarity "hoofed," it over to me. It was unclear on how this would work, but I could care less...I needed Screwball to help me recover my past, despite how strange this would be...I strap on the helmet and stand next to the humming machine, ready to spawn my strange mystical marefriend...

"Alright...I want that pretty pink mare, overalls and all! Give me that chaotic bitch, Screwball."

HMMMM!

The machine starts up as usual, only this time, massive strikes of lightning fly out...A loud giggle emitting through the castle while my mare begins to take form...That beautiful purple mane with white swirls being the first of Screwball to shimmer through...Then those transcendent eyes...Before I know it, she's fully formed and fully clothed, smiling as usual.

"O-Orion? Who is this mare...?"

"Twilight, although I can't exactly answer that question...I know that she can help me...and she's on my side. This mare is named Screwball, and she's-"

"The spawn of Discord!"

...Princess Luna quickly chimes in, an angry tone in her voice sparking a moment of tension.

"Now, now...While that is true, I can assure you-"

"Why should we listen to you!? As far as I'm concerned, you're just as evil and chaotic as your no good father! Get away from her, Orion...This mare can't be trusted."

"No, Rainbow Dash...I trust and love this mare, regardless of her father."

...The castle grows quiet as all the mares stare at me awkwardly...Even better was the way Screwball jumped up in my arms, just like a Scooby-Doo cartoon.

"You...do?"

"Yeah, yeah...Enough of this chit chat, I need to help this man with his memories before we're all slaughtered by the undead...Come here, Orion..."

Screwball sighed out, putting her hoofs on my head and forcing me to stare at her swirly pupils; our foreheads bumping together while we just stared at one another. I then get the strangest feeling, almost like a massive headache! A sudden rush of thoughts and past events flashing through me, one by one...I remembered!

All the time spent with Twilight, and the random occasions I spent with the other mares! Why that was mid-season, before those pesky wings made my purple magician an alicorn...Then there's before that, before I came to Equestria!

My god, I was attending a UC when I was...I was...abducted! I remember taking a midnight stroll, lighting up a joint, before...a bright purple light opened up from the night sky. The last night I spent in California, was wasted playing video games; God damn you, Call of Duty!

"That's it, Orion! That's what we need...We need a hero tonight, and your zombie slaying skills will do just fine!"

With a kiss to the forehead and a flip of her mane, Screwball has spawned a familiar mark on the wall behind us. This glowing silhouette was of a weapon, a sniper rifle known as the "M-14." I quickly drop the pink mare and rush over to the chalk outline, shocked in disbelief as I was actually able to reach in and pull out...

BDDING!

A loud sound emits while I grab the ten pound, long barreled weapon...Fully loaded and ready to be fired. Holy shit this was insane! The moment of epicenes skyrocketing while a large brown crate was spawned on the Crystal Table, a certain box of mystery with two white question marks ontop of the lid.

"Hehe, we will have to play by the standard rules...But I'll give you that wall weapon for free! You might want to get ready, those freakbags are gonna start breaking in soon. "

"Twilight, quick! Where are all the windows in this place?"

"Why there all upstairs...Those are the only windows in the castle, all of them in our rooms..."

...While this statement is made, I can't help but think of a certain mare who has been upstairs this whole time...Sweetiebelle!

"Holy shit! You mares get over there, toward the kitchen...I gotta get Sweetiebelle..."

I exclaim, throwing down my rifle and quickly running up the stairs...Down the hall, into Rarity's bedroom, so relieved to hear the slow breathing of my white mare as she slept. I quickly walk over to Sweetiebelle, lifting her up and carrying her over my shoulder while I turned around.

...Just about ready to leave, when all of the sudden the distorted grumbling of a ghoulish beast caught my attention...

"RUH...BRAINS!"

The horror then hits me hard as I watch the dark figure smash its way in the room; my immediate reaction being to get the hell out of there! I hold onto Sweetiebelle and make a mad dash down the halls of more roaring undead, my heart racing while I made it back to the rest of the mares downstairs.

"Heh...heh...Their here..."

I sigh out, barely breathing and barely able to stand; I basically throw over Sweetiebelle to Rarity and grab my rifle, pulling back the hammer and reloading in one quick...

CLICK!

"Come on, Orion...I wanna help kick some decomposed undead flank!"

"Yeah! I wanna help too...I actually have hands to hold a weapon!"

"Count me in! I sure could stomp some of that there evil vermin."

In a series of quick comments, I had my teammates ready...Derpy, Dash, and Applejack! Sure only one could fire a weapon like me, but I was appreciate for the all the help I could get! I quickly run over to the kitchen and equip myself a knife, well I honestly grabbed four of them.

"Alright, these zombies should start off slow and weak, but should eventually become a challenge! Don't be afraid to get your hooves dirty...A quick slash to their neck should end their lives...Screwball, how much do we have to kill?"

"Currently there stands one thousand undead ponies to go!"

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