This life is never simple, and never quite serene...

“For the Spirits above have blessed me today, for I acquired a gift of their charity,” my earpiece buzzed, as I slowly filled out the paperwork for the death of my fallen subordinate. “For the sacred location of their burial ground was given to me, for in a dream I had it! Far north of the great hell vine, they lie! Lying in wait for the chosen few to take on the gifts of their power!”

I let out a long sigh, before looking over to the the audio recordings of Hoodoo-Voodoo. It was my job to go through and make sure these had any information on them that we needed, but so far it was just the rantings of a religious Zebra who was downright crazy. I wasn’t a pony under Celestia or Luna myself, though I did believe that there was some force out there controlling everything. I mean, whoever it is must hate me, and I don’t know what I did, but damn, my life has been shit lately. Because if Voodoo is right and it’s some Spirits that are controlling everything then they really must not like me after I killed him. Really though, I would rather have Celestia and Luna, and that’s mostly because in every depiction of them that I’ve seen, they always give them nice asses. Hard to tell if that’s how they really looked, or if it’s just that their followers wanted them to be that way…

“Now my fouls, who is it today that will receive the blessing of the Spirits?” The voice of Voodoo chimed, before the sounds of Bandits cheering, begging to be chosen. “Ah, yes. You in the back! Come forth! No, not you, Night Light, you were blessed last week! I speak to our newest brother, the young foal named, Failed Afterbirth!”

I had to do a double take, before my eyes uneasily rested on the record. Who in their right mind would name their foal… You know what, nevermind. I don’t really want to know why a foal was named, Failed Afterbirth… Even though I could give a guess as to why… I also knew that this foal was probably the one that died in front of me.

“No, bad Cinder, get the work done and don’t think about the bullshit!” I told myself, before shaking myself off.

“Now, we must all be silent so that the Spirits can hear our thoughts,” Voodoo stated, before the recorder went quiet, and… it took me a moment to realise that the recording ended. I let out a sign before, before moving onto the next recording.

“DAMN THE CRIMSON LANCE!” I almost jumped out of my seat as my ears started to bleed from the sheer volume that came from the recorder. If was I was not alone, then many heads would have turned to me in anger, and for that, I was grateful, but mostly annoyed.

“Another day, my foals and I must bury our dead thanks to them. Three of the most loyal followers of the Sprites have passed on, and they will be missed, but their memory will not be in vain, for the Crimson lance will pay for heresy. I have been gifted the recipe for a toxin that we may place in a grenade, and can quickly bless those who must repent for their sins. I have already made several grenades, and have given them to my foals, so that they may spread the word of the Spirits. I even sent a few as gifts to the nonbelievers in Little Dipper Canyon, so that they may defile the Crimson Lance with them.”

I could not help but smile, knowing that the stallion behind the reason I lost my leg was dead. Really though, even though he wasn’t the one that threw the grenade, it was the infection that forced me to lose my leg. It was a shallow victory, but really, after dropping a building on top of him while he was still inside of it, I can say that we’re even. Or at least I have a leg up on him, right?

“Moving past my hate for the infidels, I have been told by my followers that I have not been speaking the word of the Spirits as much as I used too!” Voodoo practically yelled, letting out an angry grunt of pain. “Aaaahhh! By the Sprites, I can’t let my sin go… Ah, unpunished…”

“Do I really have to nail you to the wall, Father? Can’t I just use the whip, like before?” A colt spoke up. He sounded sad, which was something that I disagreed with. Sad isn’t the right state of mind when you’re nailing someone to the wall. Wait… What would even be the right state of mind?

“Yes, young Afterbirth, you must… For once you are finished, you shall speak the words of the Spirits as I recompense for my actions…”

And with that, the recording stopped. This one didn’t have any good information to it, past a few details that General Steed would find useful. As for myself, all it showed me was that Voodoo was even more bat-shit insane than I first thought. But what was worse is that I would never forget this. Hell, I would never forget this whole damn week... Really, sometimes I hated my cutie mark.

“You know, Sir, it might be a good idea to listen to those with earbuds,” I jumped a bit when the voice of Valentine spoke up, and as I turned to face him I was caught off guard by a bright bubblegum-pink stallion smiling at me. His yellow eyes looked me down and up for a moment, before he gave me a puzzled look. “Something wrong, Sir?”

“First time seeing you without your armor, Private…” I muttered, before shaking my head. “But you’re right about the recordings. They’re more off putting than I had assumed…”

“Well at least we don’t have anything else to do today, Sir,” He commented, before taking a seat across from me. “But I’m afraid that this isn’t a social call. I wish to speak to you about a promotion.”

“Say no more, Private. I’ll put in the request after I’m done with this paperwork…”

“Thank you, Sir… Um, well that was easier than I though…”

“Considering how you helped me with all the crazy shit I’ve been doing recently, It’s only right… But, there is one thing you have to do for me, before I give you this promotion…” I smiled, looking up at him. “Bring me some breakfast…”

“Yes, Sir!” Valentine stated, before standing up and trotting off.

I let out a heavy sigh as I watched him trot away. ‘Kind of sad that his mane matched his coat… He literally looks like a walking, talking bubblegum stallion…’ I thought to myself, before turning over to the next recording of Voodoo.

“The Spirits… t-they, um, they told me that I was destined to die within the week, but had a gift for me before I perished at the hooves of… something… someone… The only word I was blessed with was that of ‘Valentine.’ I asked them why, why must I die, and who was coming for me, but I was not given an answer. Was I not faithful enough to them, or was it perhaps a test of my loyalty? They didn’t answer, but I must not waver in the fear of death… For their instructions were very simple…” Stopping the recording, quickly finished up the cause of death portion of the paper work, before turning my full attention to the recorder.

‘How in the hell did he know Valentine’s name, and how in the hell did he know that he was going to kill him?’ With a click, the recorder bucked back on…

“I am to tell this recorder the burial grounds of the spirits, because my voice shall guide the true prophet to them… North of the great-

*KABOOM*

“AH! BY THE SPIRITS WE’RE UNDER ATTACK! CURSE THESE CRIMSON LAN-”

With a thud, my head hit against the table, as the recorder cut off mid sentence. It was the last of the recordings, and at this point, both you and I could have guessed that this burial ground had something to do with the Vault. At least this would give General Steed something to think about so that he would not get angry with me, but hey, he’s going to anyways… The stealth operation didn’t go to plan and because of it we were not going to get a full answer from the, now dead, Hoodoo-Voodoo...

“Yow awright, Wir?” Valentine asked, with a muffled voice. Shifted my head on the table, I saw the pink stallion giving me a worried look, while two MREs in his mouth.

“No, Private, I’m not… But at least I get the rest of the day off, right?” I asked, before levitating all my work to the side to make room for food. “Now why don’t you take a seat, and let’s get to eating? I’ll give my report later, and after that… smooth sailing for the rest of the day!”

“FOR THE LOVE OF CELESTIA’S TEATS!” I screamed at the top of my lung, drawing the attention of every Crimson Lance in the base.

You could say that I was lucky... You could say that I caught a break... You could say that I was an amazing stallion that should get all the mares, and for all known accounts, I was a stallion like that… But really, my reaction to learning that General Steed was not in base when it came time for me to give him my report, well, it should speak for itself.

I didn’t want to wait another day to give him it, hell, not even an hour. The sooner I gave it, the sooner I could go back to doing nothing, and enjoying myself. Hell, I haven’t even fully recovered from everything that happened, and what happens to the base when it’s at it’s weakest? The leader gets up and leaves… But my frustration came with a headache, and that headache quickly evolved to a blinding migraine…

“Um, Captain Cinder, please, I know it’s hard to hear, but, um, please calm down, please?” A mare, whose name was Paperclip, stated, trying to calm me down. She was the one that told me that the General was out of the base, to her regret. And right now all she could do is sit back and stare as I cursed up a storm, as pain throbbed through my skull.

“I just… Damn it…” I muttered, before looking over to the bright white mare. “Sorry… It’s just, with everything going on, I’m not in the best of mine sets… I would like to personally apologize to you for that tantrum…” Holding out a hoof to her, I tried to shove the pain of my migraine to the back of my mind, just so that I could attempt to turn around my first impression on this mare. I wasn’t looking for anything more than a friend though, because at least I could do something with that. I wasn't looking for sex though, not right now. But do you know how hard it is to get in bed with a mare when she thinks you’re a nut?

“I’m sorry, Sir, but, I, ah, have to get back to work. I know after what you did to save everyone that you’re a bit on edge, I get that, but I am, um, I’m sorry…” She muttered while looking at the ground, before quickly trotting past me, and moving out of sight.

I let my hoof slowly fall to the ground, before letting out a heavy sigh. “Yeah… I’m sorry too…” Now standing alone in the General’s office, I could not help but angrily stomp the ground in frustration. “Fucken… ah, shit, going to need some meds for this migraine… Going to have to go see Grace though… She’ll want to have a check up on me…”

“You know, talking to yourself doesn't help me think you’re fit to serve,” I smiled to myself, before turning to see Grace standing at the door. “It’s early, but if you’re in pain then taking a douse of those pain killers I gave you might work. That said, it depends on when you took them last…”

“I think it was four hours ago…” I muttered.

“Then you have to at least wait another hour. That was quite a high dose that I gave you…” Stepping into the room, she started to look me over. Her wings would poke and prod me, while her eyes would roam up and down. Checking me from hoof to horn. While normally I would give her a dirty comment about looking me over in the General's office, I didn’t really want to get a hoof to the gut...

“Well, it looks like you did a good job at not getting hurt… Tell me, how’s the leg treating you?”

“Peachy…” I muttered, giving the wall in front of me a dull stair. “It’s just heavy…”

“Well… In my professional opinion… You should not take the painkillers early…” She muttered to herself more than me. “But… with everything that has been going on, and the stress you’re in, not to mention the stress your body has been in… Go ahead…”

“Whooo…” I sadly moaned, before letting out a long sigh. “Thanks… This is all just a whole load of shit...”

“You’re welcome, Cinder. Now come on, we really should have you a proper examination, and not just a quick look over in the General’s office,”

“Can’t believe he’s not even in the base…” I muttered under my breath.

“Oh, Cinder, you won't believe what I found while going through the rubble of the Hospital!” She almost yelled, giving me a surprising smile. “I found the break room fridge, and inside of it, I found a six pack!”

My eyes went wide and I slowly turned to her. Reaching out with both hooves, I planted them on her shoulders, before politely, and kindly, asking the most important question of my life. “Please, tell me that you saved me one. PLEASE!”

“They are in your room, under your bed, go-” Before she finished, I was already running to my room. “Wait! Don’t run, Cinder! Stop, you’ll just make things… worse… Really should have waited to tell him that…”

I am not a smart pony. I am an idiot. I’m in even more pain than I was when I got shot in the Celestia damned face. You see, right now I lay on my back in the base’s makeshift hospital. Really, it was just a large white tent, but that’s besides the point. Now, why am I in pain? I forgot a very important rule about alcohol...

“You know, I don’t know what to say to you, Captain Cinder…” A Doctor muttered, looking over my chart. “Downing a six pack and taking an overdose of painkillers… Were you trying to kill yourself?”

“No, I’m just an idiot...” I muttered, covering my eyes with one of my hooves. Doing my best not to yell in pain at the blood-boiling headache/hangover that I’m dealing with.

“You know, I’m kind of cross at the moment, Captain. Last time we spoke, you shot me in the ear...” He muttered. “After all, I was only trying to help, and got shot for it…”

I let my hoof fall to my side, and I turned to the stallion. He did look familiar, but with the pain I was in I couldn't place it. “Look, Doc, I’m in too much pain to think right now. I’m sorry, but I don’t remember you…”

“Given what you’ve done in the last two hours I can understand why you don’t remember shotting me, but I would like to think that the hero of the base was a bit more… Noble. Your last words to be where, and I quote ‘I have someone to save, and if she turns out dead, I’m coming for you head, do you understand me?’” He noted, giving me a cold stare.

I let out a heavy grown, before covering my eyes again. “Right… When the base was attacked… You where the Doctor trying to stop being from going out and being an idiot…”

“Yes well-”

“Look, I know it was wrong, but I would do it again, alright? Now can you drop it for now? I’ll make it up to you, somehow, but for now, can we just keep things professional?” I asked, interrupting him.

“Very well…”

Yeah, that’s how today was going. I was just glad that Grace was not here to get mad at me for ruining her gift. Right now a six pack was worth about two and a half hooves, maybe even three if it was cold… And all I did was down them all, take some drugs and kill any chance I had at having a nice relaxing day.

There was only upside though. No matter how much pain I was in, I somehow didn’t stop smiling. A part of me just told me to buck it all and be happy, because after all, I’ve been in worse pain. Celestia knows I have…

“Well, the best I can do for you right now, Captain Cinder is forcing you to stay in bed and let you sleep this over. Out of everypony here, you are surprisingly the least wounded, so I won't be giving you anything to help you,” He commented, jotting down a few notes. “Was your room destroyed in the attack?”

“No…” I muttered.

“Then I’ll have someone escort you there, so that you can sleep this off. And if you somehow find more alcohol, I would not recommend drinking it, it’s not good for your leg,” Pointing his hoof at my mechanical hoof, he fround. “The side effects are quite painful, and don’t get me started how being intoxicated cause system lag…”

And that was how the rest of the day went… Restless sleep… Couldn't really count the first four hours as sleep though. Besides the headache, my mind decided to go into think mode, and wonder about what all has been going on. From me getting shot in the head, to Hoodoo Voodoo my life had made an unexpected turn at ‘I hope you like pain!’ street…

Damn it, I really need to start relaxing, I do not like dealing with this shit. First thing I’m doing when I don’t feel like shit is going finding a mare and seducing her. I wonder of that comms mare is still alive… What was her name, again? Oh, right, it was Rolling Deep… Glad I got her name, makes things easier. Wait, don’t I still have her panties?

To be continued...

Author's Note

References
“Title Song found here, like always!”
“Adele - Rolling in the Deep! Son found here!”