The Crimson Mare Meets The Princess of Shadows

Groggily, I wake up from a night’s sleep, a shiver of cold running down my spine. Another dreamless night actually, at least it’s better than the nightmares. I open one of my eyes just a wink to see the early morning sunlight stretching across the wall. With a snort I duck under the  blankets again. Wake me at noon, it’s too early to get up.

Wake me up in spring.

Agreed, I think. It might not be often, but I do agree with him… sometimes. As I try to go to sleep I hear someone knocking at the door downstairs. Ponies are crazy for going outside in that weather. I just curl up further into the blankets and wait for Fluttershy to get it.

Again there is knocking, however I don’t hear Fluttershy getting up. Do I get up and see who it is, or do I sleep? Making up my mind I close my eyes again. That is, until whoever it is knocks again. I groan and throw the blankets off. “Fine, I’m coming.”

The knocking continues as I hobble down the stairs. “I’m coming, stop that,”  I say as loudly as I dare without waking Fluttershy. I get to the door easily enough, slowly getting use to walking on three hooves. I swing the door open, shivering against the cold air that comes in. On the other side stands a tan brown earth stallion, with a mane that’s a mess of darker browns and black. He has a coat, probably thinner than what most ponies wear, along with a pair of saddlebags on his back.

“Good morning,” he greets smiling at me.

“What are you doing here, Lore?” I ask more than half tempted to close the door to stop the cold air from getting in.

“Just got back from my trip to the Griffon Kingdom, figured I might as well visit and see how you’re doing. Also, I got tea and hot chocolate,” he says motioning to one of his bags.

I narrow my eyes at him, but I step aside. “Start getting the hot chocolate ready,” I say letting him in. He smiles and trots in and I swing the door closed behind him. I quickly get to work lighting a fire in the fireplace. “And you had better well leave that here when you leave,” I call over as the fire ignites starting to warm up the small cottage. I take a spot on the couch and make myself comfortable.

A minute later Lore comes back in with two mugs of hot chocolate. “Sorry about coming here so early. Again, just got back and I wouldn’t have been able to sleep, so I came here to share my misery with you… and to see how you’re doing,” he says passing me a mug which I quickly start draining.

“So long as you keep bringing this stuff, I don’t mind.” I sigh contently as the warm liquid washes down my throat.

He chuckles as he sits down next to me. “Kinda figured as much. So, how have you been, or better yet, what have you been doing? I expected that thing to be off by now,” he says pointing to the cast on my foreleg.

“It should be coming off soon actually, I mean my leg feels fine. Really, they just need to take it off. My wing is still pretty banged up though. Anyways, how was your trip?”

“It was quite nice actually. Got to see the castle, their harbours, and their famous opera house.”

“Again?”

“Nothing wrong with seeing something a second time,” he says with a shrug. “Did some ice fishing, went to an opera, told some stories in one of the mead houses got a free night there. You should come next time, I’m sure you’ll love it.”

I snort and lean back into the couch taking another sip from the mug. “As if, too cold up there.”

“Speaking of which, do you have any plans for the winter, or are you just gonna skulk around here?” Once he mentions that I frown at him and look out the window at the clear day outside. “I see, miss them, huh?”

Once again I think back to my family and home. “Yeah, I might go visit them once the snow’s gone.”

“I think that’d be good for you,” he says leaning back into the couch and looks out the window with me. “Make any new friends while I was gone?”

“No, not really…” I say trying to brush the question to the side, but my mind flashes back to Moonshade. “Actually, there was one, a unicorn named Moonshade. She’s… similar to me, there’s some sort of monster hiding in her as well. Do you know the story behind her?” I ask turning to face him.

He scratches his chin and looks up at the ceiling. “Moonshade, huh?” I nod only to realize he doesn’t see me. He doesn’t answer for some time and just continues looking at the ceiling until a look of realization crosses his face. “Yeah, her, I know her. She’s, well was, an orphan from Canterlot. She was adopted to a middle class family not long after. Nothing really happened to her until the return of Nightmare Moon and her defeat by the Element of Harmony. Not sure how, but the nightmare forces got to Moonshade and she went on a rampage. That’s pretty well all I know.”

“Oh…” is all the reply I manage. Not sure what I was expecting. I sigh and go back to looking out the window as I drink the hot chocolate.

*****

  As the dawn approaches I wake up groggily, my unfocused gaze blurrily takes in my surroundings, after a couple of minutes of blinking my vision finally clears, revealing a strange room. Anxiously I look around, trying to find Midnight as my heart begins to race, it takes me some time but I begin to remember that I'm at Rarity's, and that Midnight had to stay at the castle under mom's watch.

  "It's about time you woke up, you're gonna be late for breakfast." A squeaky voice reaches my ears, bringing a yawning smile.

  "Well good morning to you to Sweetie Belle, have a good night?" My grumbling stomach urges me to skip any attempts to try to be somewhat presentable.

  As we walk down the hall my very bad bed mane and tail causes Sweetie to giggle. "Rarity is going to have a fit when she sees you Moon." As the two of us settle down in the kitchen she shows me where eggs and other breakfast goodies are and I begin to cook, making three omelets, the inside is coated with three types of cheese, green peppers and hash browns, topped by some more cheese and a light and creamy gravy. Accompanying the omelets are more hash browns, toast, a glass of orange juice for Sweetie Belle and two steaming mugs of coffee for me and Rarity.

  As we begin to eat the white coated fashionesta makes her appearance. "Mm, something does smell absolutely divine, did you cook this Swe....." Her lower jaw nearly hits the floor as her pupils shrank to pinpricks, apparently Sweetie Belle wasn't kidding about her sister's reaction. "Wh- what happened to your lovely mane and tail darling, it's so..... so..... unkempt, you must simply fix it now." Before I can argue she grabs me by my tail and drags me off to her master bathroom, a giggling Sweetie Belle follows.

  "Rarity, thank you but that wasn't really necessary. Now with how much fussing you did over me the food and coffee are gonna be cold now. Besides, it's not like it wouldn't have gotten fixed at the spa." I grumble as she finishes. "And speaking of the spa, it's almost time to meet Fluttershy."

  "Just because we're going to the spa Moonshade doe not mean one has free reign to let oneself be so..... messy. Sweetie Belle please clean up the kitchen while I'm gone. And do try to stay out of trouble." All I can do is roll my eyes as we make our way to the spa.

  "So Rarity, what exactly am I supposed to do as a model?" I try to find the right topic to lighten our moods, along with the fact I'm genuinely curious about it. "Hey Fluttershy, how are you today?" Right on time the shy pink maned pegasus approaches from her cottage, a smile creasing her lips as she spots us.

  "Oh..... hi Moonshade, I almost forgot you were going to join us, how..... how is Midnight doing?" Her question comes as we enter the building and select which treatments we want, Rarity adds more to mine as I finish.

  "He's doing good, probably missing me by now. But mom's taking care of him. How are you and Nova doing?" As we settle into the hot tub I can't help but feel some worry about the crimson colored mare. As we sit and stew an idea flashes through my mind.

  "I'm doing good..... I- I think Nova is doing ok as well, but she didn't seem to like your gift, sorry Moonshade."

  "Not your fault Fluttershy, she's probably not used to getting gifts from near strangers." As we continue to get pampered I find myself turning to mush under the expert care of the masseuse, letting out a groan of pleasure as my muscles go limp. "Hey, I had an idea. I bet since she's been injured she hasn't had much chance to get out and about right? Well why not either see if she can join us at your boutique Rarity or we can hold the shoot at Fluttershy's."

  "Why are you concerned about her darling? She doesn't seem like a very friendly pony and only wants to be alone." Her question brings some old memories flying through my mind, my expression saddening a little.

  "Because Rarity, I know some of what she's going through. And if a pony like me can be given a second chance and be accepted, why can't she be treated the same?"

  As our spa time expires we eventually decide to hold the shoot at Fluttershy's before parting ways. Me and Rarity go to the boutique to gather the already selected sampling of dresses and accessories while Fluttershy heads home, apparently to get a place ready for pictures and to warn Nova.

  "Don't worry about how this turns out dear, I know you'll be marvelous. Just stay relaxed and follow the photographer's instructions." The words snap me out of my growing panic, the realization of what I've volunteered to do just now starting to sink in and I begin to second guess the decision.

  "You- you sure Rarity? I've..... I've never done something so..... public before. What if just seeing me in the pictures cause you to lose business?" My anxiety increases with each step and I continuously nibble on my lower lip just to keep myself from backing out.

  "Oh hush now, don't say that. You have a natural beauty that needs to be shown to the world. And you know the saying, if you don't take the chance to fail than you will never take the chance to gain." The carts dragged between the two of us hide my smile from her as I work on remembering that quote.

  "Well, I know you had necklaces to show off, but I'd rather not take mine off. They mean too much to me. Andd how long is the shoot going to last?"

  "Alright, I guess I can model the necklaces myself if it comes down to it. And it shouldn't last for more than two to three hours, why?"

  "I want to spend some time and visit with Nova for a while afterwards, not sure how long I'll be gone though. Think you can manage getting these back yourself, or want me to take one back?" The cottage finally gets into view. On the front lawn some big lights and a camera are already set up, the photographer waiting for us anxiously.

  "Alright darling, I shall leave one of these racks for you to bring back with you. Take as much time with Nova as you wish." The first dress is thrust to me and behind a curtain Rarity begins to help me get the dress on as well as doing up my mane, tail and makeup.

~~~~~

I peek over the edge of the windowsill at the lights and camera on the front yard. Great, I should go hide now… “Fluttershy did warn you,” Lore says from couch.

“I didn’t think it would be quite so… big,” I say. I close the curtains and head back to the couch and the game of chess setup on it. “Who’s turn is it?”

“Yours, I took my turn while you were busy being paranoid. Killed your knight by the way.” Once I’m on the couch he goes over and opens the curtains again. “You might want to hide, but I want to watch at least.”

I groan and move my rook up to kill one of the unguarded pawns. “Fine, if you’re going to keep it open at least stay between them and me.”

He looks down at the board and moves one of his pawns up then looks back out the window. “Didn’t Fluttershy say Moonshade is out there, or will be out there?”

Before I answer him I move my rook back into a defensive position. “Yeah, and she’ll probably freeze out there.” I peek around him and see the grey unicorn out there wearing a dress.

“She’s your friend, right? Don’t you want to see her?” Lore asks. He moves his knight up closer to the defensive wall I have.

I poke my head back around him to look at her. “Still deciding on that, actually,” I mumble.

“Really, I thought you said you two have something in common? That she actually knows what you’re going through?"

“Yeah, but she’s from Canterlot. How can I trust she won’t tell anyone? If word spreads there then Celestia would find out quickly.” I move my king back to a place where it’d be harder for him to get at.

“Well, Celestia’s not here, neither are the royal guard, or the military. Moonshade has known you’ve been here for sometime. My guess is that if she was going to tell someone she would have by now.” His knight jumps over my defenses and kills one of my bishops.

“Guess you’re right. Might as well talk to her afterwards.” I move my rook into a position where it can kill the knight next turn. “Wouldn’t want to bother her while she’s busy with that.” I look up and narrow my eyes at the camera. “How many ponies know about her, about what she did?”

Lore quickly choses to have his knight retreat back beyond my defensive line. “Hm… most of Equestria I would have to say. She was something to be afraid of for a while there.”

“Then how can she do that?” I ask gesturing at the photo-take in front of the house. “How can she just throw herself out to the public?”

“Hm… good question, why don’t we go ask her?” he suggests giving me a smug grin.

“Uh, no, no… she’s busy, it can wait,” I quickly say much to his amusement.

“She probably has a different way of dealing with things, or is at a different stage than you. Honestly, to me it looks like she accepts who, and what she is, you however…”

I snort at him and move one of my pawns up. “Yeah, yeah, yeah, I’m in denial, I get it. But, isn’t she afraid what everypony might do to her?”

“You’re not either, you basically do the same thing, just in a different way. She does it in a far less… blunt fashion I would say. Not to say that that’s for you, stick to what you’re doing if it works for you,” he says moving his bishop up to defend his front line.

I pause and look up at him, mildly surprised at how wise he can be sometimes. “Fair point,” I sigh. My second rook moves up as more of a threat and distraction than actual action.

“You know, I feel like introducing myself to her,” he says perking up a bit.

“No, you don’t.”

He sends his bishop through a hole in my defenses, trapping my king. “I wanna go talk to her,” he presses. He gets up from the couch.

“No, you don’t.”

“I’mma go talk to her.”

“No, you won’t,” I say. The door closes a moment later though. “Of course you would…” I sigh, get up and go over to the window.

*****

  As I begin to change into my next costume the creaking door reaches my ears. Expectantly I look hoping that Nova would step out, but my smile fades as a strange stallion with a dark brown mane and tan coat approaches instead. Smiling as he purposefully approaches me with a nod. "Good morning, it’s nice to finally get to meet you. My name's Lore and we seem to have a common friend." As he speaks a hoof is held out to me in a friendly gesture.

  "Hi Lore, I didn't know she had other friends. She seems so..... isolated, and I would shake but as you can see I'm a bit busy. I was hoping she'd have the strength to come out and say hi." My voice gets muffled some as the sheets of fabric are pulled over head, blocking my vision for a bit. "And I'm wondering how you got to know me well enough to not be afraid of me like the vast majority of ponies are."

Oddly, he starts laughing. “Yeah, she’s strong, but she hates the cold. To the point where she effectively hibernates during winter. And she a few problems with ponies from Canterlot. As for why I'm not afraid of you, I've known Nova for a long time now. To include some of her darker secrets, so not much phases me anymore. Honestly, speaking to you is rather low on the list of stupid things I’ve done"

  "Understandable, and why is she afraid of me being from Canterlot? Is she hiding from somepony that lives there?" His words throw me a bit, curiosity flowing through my mind, causing me to stop in my tracks and look at him.

  "She has… issues with the princesses. Don’t worry it’s not a vendetta or blood feud, but that's all I can say. Also, I told her you're an orphan and was adopted by a middle class family from there." He whispers while standing next to me, making sure I'm the only one that hears him.

  "Darling we're waiting, it's getting close to dusk and we're almost finished."

  "Sorry, coming Rarity." As I hurry back to the lights I turn and look at Lore. "I can understand why you said that, but I won't lie. Not to her. She needs somepony that she can trust fully, and lying won't get me there."

  "Don't say I didn't warn you, but I do wish you best of luck. Now I must go and take my leave. It was a pleasure meeting you Moonshade." With a smile and wave he heads back towards town. All I can offer is a slight nod as I follow to the best of my abilities the instructions given to me. The sight of a crimson coated mare in the window widens my smile and I offer a brief wave.

  Finally the shoot ends an hour later and the chill begins to at last get to me as we pack up. The pictures are stuffed in a suitcase and handed to Rarity. As the rounds of goodbyes are passed along we finally separate. Rarity decides to take both trolleys with her, leaving me with a big silly smile and feeling slightly rubbery and a little out of breath as I make my way into the cottage. The smile grows even bigger as I notice Nova sitting at the couch in front of a chess board. "Hey Nova, I didn't know you played chess, how have you been doing?"

  "Hey Moonshade, I'm doing..... ok I guess..... and yes I do play, but not really competitively." The sulky mare barely meets my gaze as she just lays there, barely reacting to me getting up and laying across from her. "I take it you're doing good..... judging by what you just did. How..... with all you've done and all the ponies you've hurt or killed, how could you..... bring yourself to do something like that?"

  Her question causes me to stare at her as I unconsciously begin to reset the board with my magic. A white and black pawn are wrapped in small shadow balls and shuffled around. "Pick one Nova, if you're up for another game that is. Or do you want to take a break and get something to eat first?" My belly lets the two us know its lack of sustenance in a loud growl, thankfully I can smell something good coming from the kitchen.

  "Food first, I don't want to beat you cause you were hungry." A bit of cockiness edges into her voice, causing me to smirk at her.

  "As for your question, do you remember the quote I told you before I left during our last visit?" Nova sits there and thinks back for a bit, then gives the closest thing to a shrug she can before sitting down.

  "A little bit..... something about your past not being your today or tomorrow or something like that." Unsurprisingly Fluttershy leaves us mostly alone. Only interrupting to ensure we have full plates before checking on her friends. I can't help but notice that Nova is having a hard time looking at me.

  "That's the basis of the quote yes. Who I am today or even tomorrow is not fully defined by who I was in the past. I..... I know I've done bad..... very very bad things in the past, and I might still burn in Tartarus for my crimes, but I've had my eyes opened and was shown the truth of what I was doing." I take a deep breath, knowing exactly what she wants to know, but takes my time to answer. Trying to choose my words carefully. "When that moment came..... I had a choice..... continue with how my life was going or try to change. You can see what my choice was."

  "But aren't you..... afraid of the other ponies and what they might..... do to you?"

  "I am afraid yes. But I can't let that fear get to me or I'll end up in the same place I was, or worse. And whatever they do to me, I will accept it cause it won't be near what I deserve." I give her a quick look of appraisal before I continue, taking another deep breath. "I want to show ponies I'm not the mare I was before. I was a monster yes, but when I offered myself up to be punished by the princesses, all four of them in the end decided to absolve me of my crimes. Saying I only did them because I was..... under the control of a negative influence."

  "Wait..... how..... how much of your crimes did the princesses know about?" The revelation that I was absolved by them, specially Celestia and Luna brings her eyes to widen as the mention of those two obviously has a negative reaction from Nova.

  "All of them. Even the most gruesome, extended, bloodiest kill I performed. I hid nothing from them." The memories of the closed trial bring a sour smile as I push the food around my plate.

  "I..... I don't..... understand..... and why is it that..... you can be so outgoing and happy, doesn't your..... past or even the Nightmare bother you?" I can see the conflict in her eyes as she briefly looks at me.

  "Everypony, no matter what horrible deed they have done is worth being given a second chance. They might surprise you if you let them and are honest. As for how am I this way, it's thanks to the support and love of my friends and family. I do have bad moments true..... but the knowledge they are there, always willing to give me support, no matter how trivial it might seem has helped a great deal in my change." I look down at my two necklaces, fiddling with each of the charms a few times before I begin to focus on the locket. "They've given me the strength and encouragement needed to help build me up after I reached my lowest point. Also I've been seeking professional help."

  My words seem to entrance Nova, rendering her in speechless thought, so I decide to continue. "As for how I deal with the Nightmare, I try to keep in mind all the positive things I've done and all the ponies I've helped. I know I can be stronger than it and can have the self confidence to be able to resist it when it tries to make a power grab from me. Also, I know we are not related by blood or by the marriage of our families, but not only do I consider you a friend, but I'm also beginning to think of you as my younger sister." It's at this time I realize that while fiddling with my necklaces I notice Nova isn't wearing the one I gave her. "Hey, did you get my gift I got you?"

  My question snaps her out of her semi trance and I can something from her past crosses her mind as she goes to answer. "I did yes..... though I don't....l think I want..... thank you for the attempt though." She soon enough follows suit and we both spend time just pushing our food around, not really concerned about eating.

  "I cast a calming spell on the necklace, didn't Fluttershy tell you?"

  "Yea, it..... brought up an old memory, though I didn't have any nightmares last night. So I guess it's..... something." Her gaze falls on my two necklaces and specially on the locket I'm toying with as we both sit there in silence for a while.

  "Also, there is something you should know about me Nov. I won't lie to you nor will I allow others to lie about me to you." I take a deep breath and let it out very slowly. My eyes closed as I can feel my heart race in anticipation of my next words. "The truth is that.....

~~~~~

I narrow my eyes at her as she starts talking, partly curious, and partly cautious. Somepony lied to me… My muscles tense up, and I can already feel some energy running down my spine. Stay calm… just wait and listen.

“... I am the daughter of princess Luna, and I am part of the royal family,” she finally says as she opens her eyes.

It takes a few moments for me to start processing what she said, slowly working it over in my head. She says something else, but I don’t pay attention as I begin to realize what she said. My vision fades slightly, and the edges of my sight take a reddish-orange tinge. Fire pulses through my veins as my anger begin to focus on her.

“You’re what!” I shout, a few embers catching on my breath. I bring my hoof down onto the table, with a snap one of the legs buckles and the table topples over. She jumps back from the table, either from surprise or the sudden wave of heat.

Crush her.

I jam my eyes shut, a vain attempt at trying to block out his voice. Calm down, Nova. Don’t do this, this is the one place you have and this is your last chance. You can’t afford another mistake! With another shout I slam my hoof into the table again, destroying what was left of it.

I look around, trying to find something to unleash my anger on. Eventually my sight lands on the door. Get outside. I huff out a stream of black smoke and head for the door. I bash through it, and sprint out into the field behind her house.

Once again, I hear Moonshade say something, or at least I think she did. I look back for a second, Moonshade is standing outside slowly following the trail of melted snow. Skidding to a stop somewhere near the middle of the field, I unleash the built up anger and energy.

The ground shakes as an explosion of fire ripples out away from me. The casts on my wing and leg are blasted away immediately, and my wing falls to my side. Soon all I can hear and see are the flames that quickly burn away the snow and ground around me.

She has to die. The voice resonates from the flames around me. Again I close my eyes and scream and push the wall of fire further away, scorching more of the ground with it. I stay in my circle of fire for what feels like hours as I quite literally let my anger burn itself out.

Eventually, I stop, and the wall of fire dies down, becoming small isolated fires that dot the area. I open my eyes to a desolated area around me, the ground completely scorched. Heat still radiates off of the ground keeping the chill from me for the time being. I turn around and spot Moonshade still standing by the door. I feel a few flames ripple across my wings.

Reluctantly, I get up from the charred ground and start back toward the cottage. Stay calm, killing somepony won’t solve anything. I wince as the pain in my still-broken wing comes back.

Moonshade takes a few steps forward. “Nova, are you--”

“Shut up before I really hurt you!” I shout at her pushing my way past. I stop just short of the doorway. You’re still angry Nova, you can’t go in there. I take a few deep breaths, each exhale comes with a stream of smoke. After a few moments I calm down enough, to the point where I don’t want to kill her at least. “You were going to say something?” I ask to her. Much to her credit she didn’t leave me.

“Are you okay?”

“No, of course I’m not okay! I’m pissed, my wing hurts, my friend lied to me, I damn near burnt down Fluttershy’s house, I damn near broke your neck. I am far from okay.” I finish my little rant and go back to the breathing exercises. She doesn’t say anything more and just lets me calm down. We sit in silence save to the crackling fires in the area I just destroyed. “I’m feeling better now,” I say after a few minutes.

“Are you sure?”

“I’m still pissed, but I feel better than before.”

I feel something on my right side followed by a sharp pain in my wing. I yelp and look over to see a makeshift cast made of shadows. “Would you like to go inside and get out of the cold?” Moonshade asks me as her horn stops glowing.

“No, I don’t want to risk burning her house down by accident.” I hear her walk closer to me but I just move away.

I hear her take a deep breath. “Nova, what is it about the princesses that caused you to do that?”

“It’s a long story, and one that I’d rather not tell. And it’s also one the princesses should never hear about,” I say giving her a quick glare with the last part.

“Nova!” calls a soft voice from above. I look up to find Fluttershy flying overhead cradling Angel. Her eyes are filled with a mix of terror and concern as she looks over at the crater I made. “What happened? I-I saw the fire, and I was afraid that…” her sentence trails off as she avoids my eyes, which I imagine look angry.

“I… I lost control,” I say quickly looking away from her.

“Oh my, are you okay?”

“No.”

She lands in front of me letting Angel onto the ground. “Come on inside, before you catch a cold,” she says walking into her house, carefully stepping over the door.

  I sigh as my anger begins to subside. As I head inside I hear Moonshade say, “Nova, you’re still my friend. I don’t know if I’m still your friend, but I promise I won’t tell anyone. I won’t tell Celestia, or even my mother, you have my word.” I look at her for a few moments, but then I head inside without saying anything.

You can't trust her

I’m too tired to doubt her. Besides, she didn’t leave, she didn’t go after me, she… stayed. Maybe Lore’s right, maybe I should start trusting others. I look back and she’s still there. She’s actually worried about me… I offer her a weak smile.

*****

  With a sigh I watch as she goes inside. 'I hope she still trusts me.' Its at that time I notice the destroyed door. "Hey Fluttershy, I'm sorry about your door and table. I'll fix them for you tomorrow, mind if I spend the night?"

  "Oh..... uhm..... I don't..... think it's a good idea..... but seeing that it's getting late I guess." Fluttershy says after giving the two of us a look over. As I step inside I cover the opening with a thick shadow to block out the wind. I watch as Nova hobbles her way upstairs, bringing another sigh from me. As Fluttershy hands me some of her spare pillows and blanket she works on getting her animal friends to sleep. All alone I step outside, finding a strange comfort in the cold as it begins to affect me but I just stay sitting out right in front, my gaze falling on the moon.

  "Please let me have made the right choice, I didn't want to cause her pain but I didn't want to lie to her either. She needs a friend badly. One that she can trust completely. I know we aren't related but she feels like a little sister to me, and I want to help her." For what seems like hours I just sit there like a statue as a single tear begins to fall.

  "Moonshade, please..... come inside, I don't want you to get sick either." Fluttershy's motherly voice snaps me out of my trance and I step back inside. "Uhm..... you can take my room, I'll....."

  "No Fluttershy, thank you for the offer but no, I'll be fine down here." I cut her off, my tone of voice tired and not inviting an argument while also trying to remain calm and gentle. To emphasize my point I already lay down on the couch and get under the blankets. "Goodnight Fluttershy, and if she'll hear it tell Nova I said good night." With a nod she heads upstairs. It's not long after I'm alone that I begin to go to sleep, debating if I should try to cast a sleep spell on Nova.

The next day I make sure I wake up extra early and head into town, still unsure how things are going to be between me and Nova. The distraction serves to either have me ignore or half heartedly greet the very few ponies in town that not only know me but actually befriended me. It takes a few hours but I'm finally making my way back to Fluttershy's carrying a new door and table, the needed parts and something extra I ended up getting for Nova.

'Are you sure she'll accept it, do you even want her to?' The Nightmare's voice asks in boredom. 'And why is it that despite her obvious desire to be left alone you still want to help her?'

  'I can't expect you to understand why, and yes I want her to accept my gift.' As our debate continues my mood darkens little by little with each step until I finally stop just before the cottage and work on some deep breathing exercises. 'I figured Fluttershy would be up by now, wonder if Nova is as well.'

  With one last long breath I step through the shadow covered doorway with the stuff I bought. "Morning Fluttershy, I'm sorry about what happened yesterday." As I lay the new door on the couch the new table is placed against the wall next to the kitchen and I go to work with the instructions unfolded and placed in clear view.

  "Oh..... you..... you didn't have to go through all that trouble Moonshade, I could have gotten it fixed. You didn't have to worry about it."

  A smile lights up my face as I begin to remove the old ruined door, working as quietly as possible. "It's my fault Fluttershy that your table and door got destroyed. Please allow me to make it up to you." My words are a partial whisper, not wanting to disturb Nova upstairs.

  "O- okay, if you insist, thank you Moonshade." Once she leaves I release a stressed out breath, wondering for a bit what I'm going to do with this ruined wood as its piled outside next the door. In silence I get to work fitting and securing the premade door. 'She may want to repaint it, but at least it fits properly and doesn't look skewed.'

  At that time I notice a pair of golden eyes watching me as I work, and all I do is offer a slight smile. "Morning Nova, how are you doing?" For a moment I wonder if she'll even answer, so I turn and get ready to start on the new table.

  "I'm..... confused right now..... about a lot of things." Her admission barely reaches my ears, but it's a little surprising to me to hear her say that. Not wanting to interrupt I continue to go about my task, but turn a lot of attention back to Nova. "Why..... why did you..... stay, why are you so..... concerned about..... being my friend?"

  With a deep sigh I pause, making a note of which step I was on on the instructions before turning to face her. My gaze falling on a bouquet of flowers, one bud having yet to bloom. "Because Nova, like this little bud here if you spend your time wallowing in the darkness nopony will get to see and enjoy your beauty nor will they have a chance to experience what joys you can bring, once you've learned how to control your wonderful gift." With that said I can tell she clearly doesn't believe me, so with a smile I hand her the large box. "I bought these for you. There's a very thick set of winter gear that is guaranteed to keep you warm, I gave them a fireproof enchantment. I want to show you something."

  With great reluctance she gets bundled up and follows me outside silently. I walk as close to her as she'll allow me to as we make our way back to the spot she exploded. "A Lot of ponies think of fire as something dangerous and destructive, something that should be feared. And when wielded improperly it can be." As I speak I paw at the ground, removing what snow there is until I expose a couple tiny seedlings. "However what they don't know or realize is that fire allows for new life to grow, for new beautiful things to be created from the ashes of the old. And what springs up might become even more beautiful and sturdy than what it replaced. If it's given the chance, when harnessed properly fire is..... beautiful."

  As I continue to dig up the ground another unbloomed bud is exposed and I gently pluck it out with my magic, Nova continues to remain silent behind me. "I know you're afraid of your powers, and I know terrible things have happened because of it. You said you hurt your best friend, you need to ask yourself this. Do you think your friend would want you to beat yourself up and not live over that incident, or would she say you need to forgive yourself for what happened?" My question causes her to tense up and stare in shock at me. "Only you know the truthful answer Nova, and you need to ask yourself that, not just in here." I tap my head gently with my hoof. "But in here as well." I gesture to my chest right over my heart.

  All I can do is watch her as I sit as close as I can without crowding her. Gently I take the bud and with great care plant it in her mane next to her left ear. "I don't know how you feel about me, but I also got you a special journal. It's magically connected to one I'm keeping, whenever you wish to contact me go ahead and use it, or throw it away. Anyway I gotta get back and finish the table." Without waiting I head back inside and resume working on the table, all that needed to be done really is to attach the legs and secure them. As I work the door opens and a weight falls upon the couch heavily.

  As the table is finished and the mess is cleaned up I say my goodbyes and head back to Rarity's to go over the photos from earlier, though my mind is mostly focused on Nova.