Author's Note

Suggested listening: Fuchsia Ruler.

Chapter One: Fuchsia Ruler

Admittedly, while Discord’s presence may have been surprising, the fact that I now knew where and when I was calmed me considerably. However, “calm” and “cautious” are two entirely different things. After all, this was when Dissy was in charge. He wouldn’t be reformed for another thousand years, perhaps even more. Who knew what he could pull? I’m beginning to think not even he knew.

Anyways, we got talking. It was a little tense at first - I’m beginning to suspect that not even he knew how I got here, mostly because he treated me as if I was the real deal, and I was suspicious of his non-reformed nature - but eventually we hit it off.

Turns out we both shared the same brand of crazy, even though he thought all his stuff up himself and I got mine from a wide variety of popular culture.

...Okay, so I got my popular culture from the Internet. So sue me.

I gave him some delightful ideas about Joker Fish, and maaaay have given him some ideas for future chaos. Not gonna elaborate here, sorry. Some things need to be surprises, too!

Say, mind if I take a glass of water? I’m parched.

...Much better. Where was I? Discord. Right.

You know, from the comics and all the stuff I’ve seen on the show, Discord’s personality truly has taken leaps and bounds. Or he’s just gotten old. You can never truly tell with him, you know.

I expected him to be a more snarky Q. Instead I got a drama queen.

Not that I have anything against drama queens, of course! Heck, even I’m a drama queen, and a good one, too. So was he, point of fact. It’s just that... it was kind of a disappointment, you know?

Yeah.

Anyway, we left on good terms. I told him to say hello to the Princesses from me. Out of politeness, y’know? Heh. Turns out he hadn’t met them yet. I suggested he’d keep an eye on them. So what’s he do? Pluck an eye out. Funny enough, he had both fangs at the time... A mystery for another day, I figure. Never did find out how he lost that other one.

The next few... something were quite boring, actually. Discod hadn’t either implemented any ideas I gave him, or these implementations hadn’t reached me yet. There was however a shower of burgers (as in, a shower set literally made out of stacked hamburgers, and it sprayed ketchup and mustard) that I may have taken a few bites out of.

Okay, so I ate the entire thing. But it was delicious! I’m a growing Noir and--
I cannot believe I just said something like that out loud. Just... pretend you didn’t hear it.

Wonder when do we get any food around here?
....Figures.

Might as well keep on going, eh?

One thing that I managed was figuring out how to fly. Or, well, stay in air at any rate. I wasn’t that good in the early weeks, okay!? Sigh. Stop being so damn judemental, you don’t have any wings.

At least I was flying better than Twilight Sparkle, and no, you don’t know her. Inside joke, sorry. She doesn’t exist yet.

The other thing I figured out was the Red Miles. Not using that stuff again in a while, that’s for sure.
What do you mean why not? I destroyed roughly three cubic miles of land, that’s why not! I prefer my living quarters intact, thankyouverymuch.

...You’ve derailed me again. ♫A little glass of water please, a fresh-pressed hanky if I sneeze...♪ What? It’s a song. Yes, Discord sang it, and no, he didn't do it yet.

No better cure for a parched throat than a glass of water. Hm. I’m drinking more liquids again. Which is... good, I suppose? I think. Oh well.

I met Discord again when I accidentally treated ponies to an impromptu display of the Miles. No pony could escape the Miles.
The hodgepodge was rather displeased with me. I imagine he had to, since his pick-and choose number of toyponies had just dropped drastically. I suppose you’re thinking that’s what we talked about, eh? Wrong. Instead he acted upset because my feats had been attributed to him instead! In hindsight it sorta fits. He likes chaos and stuff only when he does it.

I stopped giving him ideas after that. I’d already given him plenty, and it was doubtful he’d want more.

Interestingly enough, after that particular encounter, my food supplies dried off. Before, I was always able to find something meaty to chew on, and something non-chocolatey to drink, but suddenly? Nowhere to be found!

I suppose it seemed that Discord had looked out for me after all, but I had no way to prove it. He wasn’t talking to me, and I wasn’t in a particular hurry to look him up again, either.

That particular snag in the food business however, meant that I had to find something else to sink my teeth into. For some reason, there was less and less wildlife around, no matter where I headed. All there was was chocolate rain.

Why didn’t I drink that? Really, you’re actually asking that? It was chocolate. Chocolate is toxic to dogs. I was a dog.

...pardon?

Oh god, I am an idiot. You’re saying that all it took was to take off the ring... I’ve underestimated you.

You’re welcome, I guess.

I suppose that also explains why they were so angry, though. After all, I’d killed a sentinent being.

At least Discord and I made up afterwards, but..

Damn.

I suppose I’ll tell you what went on, later. I wish to sleep.

Good night.